Calling a Spade a Spade – Distance and Directness in Communication
Dr. Ines Böhner
Most people around the world feel that the imperative Close the window! is too direct.
Germans, Dutch, Danes, Norwegians, Swedes and Icelanders tend to be fine with Can you
close the window? or Can you close the window please, if they want to be really polite.
However, Would you mind closing the window? sounds far too stilted for most Germans and
It is cold in here would probably not be seen as a request to close the window but as the
starter to a conversation about the heating system.
Yet, in cultures where you tend to be more indirect, It is cold in here would be seen as a
prompt to act. Here you keep a certain distance in the conversation so as not to embarrass
your counterpart or just in order to leave room for further questions.
A classic situation of that kind is when an Asian student who is used to an indirect
communication style is asked if s/he understands what the tutor or professor has just said.
The answer – in order to not embarrass the teacher or counterpart – is often yes, though
there may still be some open questions. And if you think about it, s/he is right answering
affirmatively because s/he has heard and listened to everything. Yet s/he would not say
directly that s/he still has questions.
Another classic example of indirectness in a rather direct culture is the following. An
American professor tells a German exchange student, You might consider rewriting this
essay. This is not, as the German student could read it, a polite request which may or may
not be followed but indeed an order!
Though European and anglophone cultures have similarities there are quite a few subtle
differences when it comes to directness and tone in discourse: People from the South and
East of Europe and also anglophones often feel that German, Dutch and Belgian people are
angry when they speak. This is because short words are used and there are few softeners
(i.e. would, could, perhaps, etc.) that make a language less direct. In addition, the glottal stop
at the end of words makes the language sound more staccato than largo. Northern
Europeans in contrast feel that Southern Europeans do not come to the point and talk around
the subject, whereas they consider anglophones to be very friendly and polite.
Sprachenzentrum Universität Stuttgart,
English Revisited, Tids – Tidbits & Tutorials, No 2/2014
1
The latter kind of indirect politeness we find in the vagueness or tentativeness of negotiation
language. Compare the following:
1. We want to arrive at a solution today.
It would be great if we could arrive at a decision today.
2. We want to make sure our clients benefit.
We would like to make sure our clients benefit.
3. We can renegotiate if this is necessary.
Of course we would be open to renegotiating after a certain amount of time.
4. This will create some problems for our colleagues in the company.
This could create some problems for our colleagues and we feel that they might not
be happy with this.
5. The law department will find this unacceptable.
I’m wondering whether the law department might find this difficult to accept.
Which of the statements would you consider better or let’s say more “English”? The second
sentence of each pair? Indeed, the second sentence gives the other party space to
manoeuvre or at least to respond by asking a question, for instance in 5, “Why would your
law department find that difficult to accept?” The first sentence does not really invite a
question – unless you come from a cultural background where this kind of directness is
accepted as perfectly normal.
Calling a spade a spade may be useful at times; yet directness can be felt as brusqueness
and can be very off-putting. Indirectness may be misread as indecisiveness. However, when
you know that it is used to keep distance and to leave space, it creates a positive
atmosphere. It is the sound that makes the music – and indirectness and with it politeness in
language is why we feel that anglophone people are so nice and friendly…. and don’t they
give much more praise than others?
Glossary
stilted: stiff and unnatural
brusqueness: abrupt
off-putting: unpleasant; makes you want to avoid something
Sprachenzentrum Universität Stuttgart,
English Revisited, Tids – Tidbits & Tutorials, No 2/2014
2