th
7 Annual LWMMI
Policyholder Conference
Chula Vista Resort and Water Park
Wisconsin Dells, Wisconsin
April 28 and 29, 2016
Managing Conflict in the
Workplace (How to Deal
with Unpleasant People)
Friday, April 29, 2016
10:30 AM – 11:30 AM
Presented By:
Susan Schoenfeld, M.A.
Communication Arts,
Marquette University Faculty
Susan Schoenfeld MA
[email protected]
When I say “conflict” what is the first word that
comes to mind?
 Is conflict bad?
◦ No. It is the behavior involved in handling conflict
that can be destructive
At the end of this session participants will be
able to:
• Describe constructive ways to handle conflict
• List actions that cause conflict and damage
relationships
• Demonstrate active listening, paraphrasing,
goal setting and problem solving
• Give constructive feedback
• Describe how to cope with criticism
• Write a Conflict Resolution Plan
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When it is perceived as a win-lose situation
When people withdraw and avoid conflict
Not everything that is faced can be changed, but
nothing can be changed unless it is faced”
James Baldwin
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When people are aggressive
When people blame each other
When people repress feelings
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I feel…….
When ……..
As a result ……
Example: I feel hurt when you don’t include
me in your Friday lunches and as a result I
have been avoiding the people in the group.
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Having a better understanding of the problem
Understanding the cause of the problem
Increased alternatives to solving problems
Promote better relationships
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Inaccurate or incomplete information
Different interpretation of information
Lack of common goals
Ineffective conflict solving methods
Manage your emotions
Be empathetic
Focus on the issues
Choose the right time and place
Use “I” statements
Be objective
Don’t put it off
Separate personal from professional feelings
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Hit below the belt
Attack the person not the issue
Fixing the symptom, not the problem
Failure to involve critical decision makers
Expect to change the person
Using phrases like, “You always..” “You
never…” “You have to…”
Aggressive
Listening
Defining Goals
Body Language and Tone of Voice
Providing Effective Feedback
Giving constructive criticism
Accepting criticism
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Look like you are listening
Don’t interrupt
Ask questions for clarification
Paraphrase
Say something back in your own words to make
sure you understood it correctly
Example: Am I correct in saying that you were
unhappy with the assignment because you weren’t
given enough time to work on it?
SMART Goals
• Specific
• Measurable
• Agreed
• Realistic
• Tractable
Example: I want to increase the number of
meetings I have with my client from 2 – 5
times each month
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Facial Expression
Avoid Arms Crossed
Avoid Sarcasm
Keep a pleasant tone of voice and volume
Describe the behavior, your perception and
the action to be taken.
Example: “When you were leading the meeting
you interrupted people several times. This
made me think that you were more concerned
with the agenda than their input. Therefore, I
suggest that next time you allow them to
finish a thought, respond, and then move
on.”
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Remember it is not personal
Realize that angry people want an
opportunity to vent
Stay focused
Listen
Remain calm
Show them that you are a person who cares
Apologize and refer to them by name
Ask questions to learn what the problem is
Confirm the situation by paraphrasing
Let the customer disclose their feelings and
acknowledge how they see the situation
Propose a solution
Use words like “for you” and “I will”
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Wait and give yourself time to respond
Analyze -Reread the email. Ignore any
challenging comments or unprofessional
language. Look for the purpose of the
message. Find out what's bothering the
person and how to respond
Confront – Call them if possible. Calmly
explain that you received his/her email and
you'd like to discuss the issues of concern.
Acknowledge their feelings
State your position or how you would like to
solve the problem
Thank them
Follow-up with an email
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Sandwich the criticism
Stick to the present
Include a suggestion for improvement
Use your own experiences to show you can
identify with the person
Criticize the behavior not the person
Be specific
Describe what the person did
• Express why it is a problem
• Specify what they should do to change
• Describe the positive and negative outcomes
if the person doesn’t change
Example: You didn’t empty the client’s
garbage when you left for the weekend.
When I came in Monday the apartment
smelled. Please make sure to empty the
garbage before you leave so we don’t have a
problem with unpleasant odors.
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Agree with the truth
Seek more information
Paraphrase
Thank the person for the criticism
Define your needs
Share your needs with the other party
Listen to the other person’s needs
Generate possible solutions
Evaluate possible solutions
Implement the solutions
Follow-up
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Goal: What do I want to achieve?
Reason: Why do I want to achieve this goal?
Time: What is the best time for the conflict?
Place: What is the best location?
Problem: What needs to be changed?
Behavior/Attitude: What can I expect?
Result: How will I know that the problem is
resolved?
Follow-Up What is required? When?