Skinning Snakes – A Writer‘s Guide to Self-Editing
Copyright © 2015 Louis J Harris
The author has asserted his moral right as the sole author
of this work in accordance with international copyright laws.
All rights reserved.
No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored, transmitted,
recorded or distributed by any means without the written consent
by the author in whose name copyright exists.
This includes photocopy, e-book, or any form of binding.
This is a work of fiction.
All characters are a figment of the author‘s imagination. Any similarity
to actual football clubs, players, or locations, is purely coincidental.
Images purchased under license from 123RF.
Cover design by Louis C Harris.
All records for the publication of this book are held at
CoolDudes Publishing Pty (LTD) 64 Windsor Road, Gerdview,
Germiston, Gauteng, South Africa.
Typeset in Times New Roman 12pt.
Published by CoolDudes Publishing Pty (LTD)
FBI WARNING
The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of a copyrighted work is
ILLEGAL.
Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without
monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by fines
and federal imprisonment.
Louis J Harris
Contents
Introduction................................................................ 1
MANUSCRIPT PREPARATION .............................. 7
Formatting .............................................................. 7
Headings ................................................................ 8
Images .................................................................... 8
Language................................................................ 9
Dos and Don‘ts..................................................... 10
A TYPICAL INHOUSE STYLE GUIDE ................. 11
Style Guidelines ................................................... 11
STYLE FOR COPY ................................................. 12
Figures/Images ..................................................... 12
Paragraphs ............................................................ 13
Spelling and Punctuation ...................................... 13
Abbreviations and Contractions ............................ 14
Capitalization ....................................................... 14
Brand Names ........................................................ 15
Geographic ........................................................... 15
Institutions ........................................................... 15
Political ................................................................ 16
Titles and Institutions ........................................... 16
Dates and Time .................................................... 17
Foreign Languages ............................................... 18
Italics ................................................................... 19
Measurements ...................................................... 20
Money .................................................................. 21
Numbers ............................................................... 22
PUNCTUATION ..................................................... 24
Skinning Snakes – A Writer‘s Guide to Self-Editing
Apostrophes ......................................................... 24
Commas ............................................................... 24
Colons and Semi-colons ....................................... 25
Double Punctuation .............................................. 25
Ellipses (...) .......................................................... 26
Full Points ............................................................ 26
Hyphens and Parenthetical Dashes ....................... 26
Parentheses and Brackets...................................... 27
Quotations ............................................................ 28
SELF EDITING ....................................................... 31
Sentence Structure ................................................ 31
Community Clause List ........................................ 32
Prepositions .......................................................... 33
Passive and Active Voice ..................................... 34
Modifiers.............................................................. 35
Quantifiers ........................................................... 35
Forms of To Be: ................................................... 36
Adverbs ................................................................ 36
Adjectives ............................................................ 38
Adjectives of appearance ...................................... 39
Adjectives of Condition ........................................ 39
Adjectives of Feelings .......................................... 39
Adjectives of Shape .............................................. 39
Adjectives of Size................................................. 40
Adjectives of Time ............................................... 40
Adjectives of Sound ............................................. 40
Adjectives of Taste ............................................... 40
Adjectives of Touch ............................................. 40
Adjectives of Quantity .......................................... 40
Verbs.................................................................... 40
Roll Verbs ............................................................ 41
Louis J Harris
Motion Around an Axis verbs............................... 41
Motion Verbs ....................................................... 41
Verbs of motion involving a vehicle ..................... 42
Verbs that are not vehicle names .......................... 42
Verbs of motion that derive from the names of
animals ........................................................................ 43
Waltz Verbs ......................................................... 43
Verbs of Body-Internal Motion............................. 43
Push/Pull Verbs .................................................... 43
Verbs of Throwing ............................................... 43
Verbs of Sending and Carrying ............................. 44
Send Verbs ........................................................... 44
Slide Verbs:.......................................................... 44
Drive Verbs .......................................................... 44
Chase Verbs ......................................................... 44
Accompany Verbs ................................................ 44
Meander Verbs ..................................................... 44
Funnel Verbs ........................................................ 44
Verbs of Putting with a Specified Direction .......... 45
Pour Verbs ........................................................... 45
Spray/Load Verbs ................................................. 45
Verbs of Sound Emission ..................................... 45
Perceptions ........................................................... 46
THOR‘S HAMMER ................................................ 48
The Basics ............................................................ 48
Action .................................................................. 48
Personal Pronouns ................................................ 51
He said/She Said .................................................. 52
GAY WRITING....................................................... 55
THE SECRET TO GREAT STORIES ..................... 58
Skinning Snakes – A Writer‘s Guide to Self-Editing
Action and Sequel ................................................ 58
The Confidant ...................................................... 62
Deepening ............................................................ 63
Symbolism ........................................................... 63
Symbol Categories ............................................... 64
Metaphor .............................................................. 64
Personification ..................................................... 65
Simile ................................................................... 65
Repetition of an Idea ............................................ 66
Parallelism of Events ............................................ 67
THE THIRTY POINT PLAN ................................... 69
THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ............................ 71
Plotting................................................................. 71
Viewpoint ............................................................ 71
Genre and Setting ................................................. 71
Characters ............................................................ 71
Dialogue ............................................................... 72
Scene.................................................................... 72
Pacing .................................................................. 72
Beginning, Middle and End .................................. 72
Being a Professional Writer .................................. 73
Ideas..................................................................... 73
Writing skills ........................................................ 74
RESEARCH ............................................................ 76
Excerpts ............................................................... 77
Louis J Harris
Introduction
One must love the written word to write words.
Perhaps ―love for the written word‖ is too soft. Writing
is all about passion. Let me rephrase. One must be
passionate about words to write words.
Only one thing makes a story stand out.
Passion.
The passages you‘ll read in this guide are taken
straight from the pages of books written by authors who are
passionate about their craft.
When a reader takes up your work, the first thing he
wants to see is how passionate you are with the subject, the
plot, the characters, the scenes and so on. He‘ll know from
the first sentence, or the first paragraph if the story is going
to move him. He‘ll know whether you have fulfilled your
unspoken promise; that by the end of the story, he will have
taken a journey never before taken. The first words of the
first page in your manuscript will give him that
information.
Today is the day. Today is the day. Today is the day….
- Rob Damon, Into the Team
In Damon‘s novel, the first line fulfils that promise.
Throughout the first chapter of the novel, Damon repeats
this line.
Today is the day. Today is the day….
This was the day for him to escape his grim, north Lancashire
town, the day his mother said would never come.
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Skinning Snakes – A Writer‘s Guide to Self-Editing
It‘s a power punch to the abdominals because the line
also forms part of the deepening in the story. The reader
knows that something is about to change.
Later in the chapter Damon changes the line ever so
slightly:
Today had to be the day.
Because if today wasn‘t the day, what next for a twenty year old
rookie who‘d already been knocked back by the local fourth division
club at the ages of sixteen, seventeen, and eighteen? If today wasn‘t the
day, should he give up and accept his mother‘s words of putting his
dreams away?
Readers love reading about a character whose dream it
is to succeed. In one chapter, Damon immediately
establishes the journey with enough information to set the
scene for the rest of the novel.
At the end of the book he does something that jolts the
reader back to the beginning of it all, the very last line is:
Today is the day….
On this journey Damon will introduce his readers to
people they will never meet in real life. On this journey, the
scenes, characters, dialogue, plot and descriptions will
compel and engage them.
It‘s been proven time and again that the first line, first
paragraph and first chapter is enough to win the heart of a
reader and Damon ensures the reader will be there, in the
book, in every word, taking part in all the conflict, and all
the drama.
There are many ways to kill a cat.
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Louis J Harris

One can be mediocre and write fiction for
oneself.
 One can be amateur or professional and belong
to a writer‘s group or workshop.
 One may be absolutely selfish about editing,
think that one‘s writing is the best writing on
offer, that no editor could possibly make it
better.
 Worse off is the writer who feels invincible;
this is how I‘ve chosen to write the story and
everything is deliberate. Then why bother selfediting? Why bother sending your book to a
publisher? Why bother seeking out an editor?
They‘ll be wasting their time.
There is only one way to skin a snake.
 The product you have created might be a
manuscript first draft to you, but it needs
skinning.
 You‘ll have to be relentlessly cruel.
 You‘ll need to strike out words, entire
sentences, entire scenes.
 You‘ll need to rephrase, rewrite and get it to a
point where you can sit back and say, ―That‘s
it, I can‘t skin this anymore.‖
For your learning pleasure I‘ve included a list of Verbs
as compiled by Levin in his ―Classification of English
verbs and its alternations 1993‖. These are exceptional
examples of words that do the work in your writing.
I‘ve also included a list of adjectives for your delight
as compiled by Moms Who Think.
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Skinning Snakes – A Writer‘s Guide to Self-Editing
There‘s a section on Power Writing. Use this section to
enhance your writing in any genre.
I‘ve included a section on Gay Writing. The
information there might be important to the way you write
gay stories.
We‘re all writers who have either been published or
not. Those of us who are lucky enough to have been
published realize that writing fiction is one of the most
complex skills to master.
It‘s like painting landscapes and creating pottery.
These need to be taught, even if you teach yourself. You
don‘t have to do a course in writing at all. You can read,
read as much as you can and assimilate. Once the
knowledge has been assimilated, the skill nurtured and
maintained, only then can you develop and really apply the
craft. A community cannot survive without language, and
with language comes the skill for writing words.
In order to write fiction, you must suspend almost all
you ever learnt in English Composition/Grammar class.
Writing fiction is different to classroom English. During
the formative school years you were tested to find out if
you understood the rules of grammar etc., but now you‘re
in the real world, and it‘s vastly different.
Some of you may be thinking there are no rules for
writing fiction. Fiction is creative, right? Yes, it‘s creative,
and if there are no rules then every manuscript ever written
by anybody should be published and never rejected. If
there are no rules then let‘s round up every person on the
face of this earth who has a degree in languages and
creative writing, and put them on a sling rocket to mars.
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Louis J Harris
How dare they insist. That I, place punctuation? In the
correct…place. There are no rules. Think again.
Skinning Snakes is divided into several sections.
Manuscript preparation is one of the most important
aspects of delivery. You cannot tell a publisher a story by
word of mouth, it must be written down and there are rules
for manuscript preparation.
I‘ve included a typical Inhouse Style Guide from my
publishing company, CoolDudes Publishing. It shows you
that a publishing house is serious about various writing
principles and conventions.
The Self-Editing section is roughly in the middle of the
guide. Its intention is to get you to think like an editor and
be harsh on yourself when revising. No manuscript should
arrive at a publisher without being self-edited. It forms part
of your passion for writing.
Thor’s Hammer is part of the self-editing process and
it fine tunes the self-edit. You could attend a workshop to
fine tune your writing. You could attend college for a
master‘s degree in creative writing, but will that help? Will
you be a better writer? Some say no. Others say yes. Well
known writers have attended writers workshops: Alice
Sebold (The Lovely Bones), Elizabeth Kostova (The
Historian), Michael Chabon (The Mysteries of Pittsburgh).
I‘ve included a Thirty Point plan you can keep close
while writing. Always handy. I say the most important part
of learning the skill of writing, is to read and assimilate.
The Secret to Great Fiction is included to show you
how to master the middle of your story. It‘s an important
part of this guide for several reasons.
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Skinning Snakes – A Writer‘s Guide to Self-Editing
The middle is just as important as the beginning.
You can have a great beginning and a wild ending, but
if you wane in the middle, you‘ll lose the reader.
Writing fiction should be fun. This guide is not
intended to bog you down with the gory details, it‘s there to
help when you lose direction.
Use it. Curl the corners, staple pages to it. But
whatever you do, make sure that you read any and every
book you can get your hands on.
You see, the greatest secret for writing fiction, apart
from what I have written in that section, is to read.
Read.
Read.
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Louis J Harris
MANUSCRIPT PREPARATION
Formatting
The entire typescript, including notes, bibliography
etc., should be typed double-spaced. Email submissions can
be typed out single-spaced or double-spaced. Most
publishers want it that way. Especially publishers who only
accept submissions via snail-mail. It allows editorial staff
to make notes by hand and to insert editing marks for the
author to follow. For books that are moved electronically,
this isn‘t really required as the tracking/comment function
in word is all that the editor and author requires. But all
snail mail manuscripts should follow this rule. Double
spacing allows about twenty-eight lines to a page. Leave
good margins (at least 2.5 cm or 1 inch) to left and right, at
the top and bottom.
Number each page, preferably (centred in the footer of
the page) from the first page of the actual story to the last
page, not chapter by chapter (this applies equally to multiauthor works). The cover page is almost never numbered;
neither are the prelim pages leading up to the first page of
the story. You may number them using roman numerals if
you want to, but it‘s not necessary. Format the prelims as
sections and not as page breaks.
In simple terms the front of your book will look like
something like this:
* Cover (insert a section)
* Title Page (insert a section)
* Publisher page (Insert a section)
* Copyright page (insert a section)
* Dedication Page (insert a section)
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Skinning Snakes – A Writer‘s Guide to Self-Editing
* You might have an Author‘s Note Page, Introduction
page, Content page, Map page, Quote Page and Books by
page – all these pages will need section breaks.
Headings
Headings must be differentiated to indicate their order
of importance. Make sure the various categories of heading
(chapter headings, subheadings and sub-subheadings) are
clearly indicated and consistent.
Consistency is key: Take a look at the dos and don‘ts
at the end of this section.
In the header make one of the pages the TITLE of the
manuscript and the second page YOUR NAME. Or do it
like this; Louis J Harris/Skinning Snakes on the left page,
and place the page number on the second page. Or, better
still, follow the publisher‘s convention for this. Different
publishing houses will want different conventions in the
header sections, make sure you follow the set instruction
from the publisher.
Images
Submit images as .tif or high-resolution .jpg files as
follows:
Halftone/color images: 300 dpi at print size.
Line diagrams/maps: 600 dpi at print size - images
should be cropped and be free of watermarks.
DPI is the number of individual dots that can be placed
in a line within 1 inch (2.54 cm). Images have dots but
monitors or pixels per inch or PPI.
When you purchase images off the internet, the
website you purchased from might have a watermark. If
this happens it‘s an indication that you haven‘t purchased
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Louis J Harris
it. These websites usually remove the watermark the
moment you purchase before downloading to your
computer.
Check the licence for the image. Is it for advertising,
once only, or editorial purposes? These licences are sold at
different prices.
Language
UK English or US English; other forms (Australian,
Canadian etc.) are a no-no, and the copy-editor will amend
the manuscript to suit the language requirements of the
title.
It is essential that you submit your manuscript
according to the guidelines set out for the language chosen.
South African English has its own core words. If you are
publishing a South African story for South Africa only,
then it‘s fine to use the core words most South Africans use
when writing. However, if you‘re a South African writing a
story for international consumption, then you will have to
follow the guidelines as set out by the publisher. You have
no choice in this. Usually the publisher will tell you to
develop a lexicon of words to be placed at the back or the
front of the book.
Work intended for the EU and British markets should
be using the Oxford Guide To style. British authors who
wish to have their work distributed worldwide will need to
consult the Chicago Manual of Style and MUST use the
Oxford comma.
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Skinning Snakes – A Writer‘s Guide to Self-Editing
Dos and Don’ts
* Make sure chapter heading are clear and separate
from the body text.
* Use basic fonts: Times Roman for body text, Arial
for headings, or Calibri for body text and Cambria for
headings
* Number your pages.
* Headers must include the title of the work and the
author‘s name. Footers should have a page number.
* Always leave a single space between words and one
space after punctuation, including a full stop and at the end
of a sentence.
* Justify the left margin.
* Don‘t leave a line space between paragraphs.
and
Indent your first line of every paragraph.
* Use Italic for words, do not use bold.
* Do not underline text, use Italic instead.
* Use bold type for headings.
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Louis J Harris
A TYPICAL
GUIDE
INHOUSE
STYLE
Style Guidelines
Where UK English and US English styles differ,
clarification is given. For spelling queries and any areas not
covered here, please consult the following publications:
Spelling
UK English: The Concise Oxford English Dictionary
(OED, 2014)
US English: Merriam-Webster‘s Collegiate Dictionary,
11th ed.
(Merriam-Webster, 2005)
Referencing
UK English: New Hart‘s Rules, 2nd ed. (Oxford UP,
2014)
US English: The Chicago Manual of Style, 16th ed.
(Chicago UP, 2010)
Style
UK English: New Hart‘s Rules, 2nd ed. (Oxford UP,
2014)
US English: The Chicago Manual of Style, 16th ed.
(Chicago UP, 2010)
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Skinning Snakes – A Writer‘s Guide to Self-Editing
STYLE FOR COPY
Figures/Images
Images that are to be integrated with the text should be
supplied as individual image files and should have their
position indicated in the text thus: [Figure 2.3 here]. It will
not always be possible for the typesetter to place them
exactly as indicated, so images should be referred to by
number and not as ‗the image above‘, ‗the following
image‘ etc.
For authored titles, figures can be numbered either
sequentially throughout the book (1, 2, 3 etc.) or by chapter
(1.1, 1.2, 2.1 etc.); please consult with your editor and
number them accordingly. For multi-contributor works,
number the figures by chapter. Captions and Credits
Image captions in the text will usually include the full
source information for the image, including title, year of
production/publication etc. Credit information for images,
video and sound will normally appear after the caption,
preceded by a full point. Use the wording agreed with the
original permission holder where applicable.
Figure 1.1. Winston Churchill in his study at
Chartwell, c. 1934. Courtesy Hulton Getty Images.
However,
the
List
of
Illustrations
or
Acknowledgements can also be used to include credit lines
(thus removing the need for them in the in-text captions).
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Louis J Harris
Paragraphs
Indent the first line of a new paragraph consistently
(except immediately after a heading, or after an extract if
the sense of the paragraph continues from the extract, when
the paragraph should start flush with the left-hand margin).
There is no need for extra space between paragraphs. Avoid
too many short paragraphs.
Spelling and Punctuation
Always use ‗z‘ spelling for words ending in ‗-ize‘, ‗ization‘ (Example: organize, organization) for both UK and
US English. However, alternative spellings in quoted
material, book and article titles should not be changed.
Always follow either the Oxford English Dictionary
(UK English) or Merriam-Webster‘s Dictionary (US
English). Note that spelling in the manuscript should be
consistent with the relevant dictionary; guidelines given
below, unless otherwise indicated, are in UK English, but
should be adapted where necessary.
If you have a traditional family dictionary and refuse to
user any other, make sure that the publishing house is
aware of that. Also inform your editor. Use any dictionary
you want that is reputable. Preferences regarding the
spelling of many common terms can be found in the
publisher‘s Inhouse Style Sheet. Request one from your
publisher.
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Skinning Snakes – A Writer‘s Guide to Self-Editing
Abbreviations and Contractions
Standard, familiar abbreviations can be used
throughout. Less-familiar ones (those specific to the subject
area of the book) should be written out in full in
parentheses after their first mention only.
Omit the full point after contractions (abbreviations
including the first and last letter of the word). Some other
abbreviations drop the full point, including most units of
measurement.
Mr; Mrs; Dr; St; Ltd; PhD; mm; edn; eds; but: ed.
(‗editor‘, ‗edited by‘).
However, lower-case initials forming abbreviations
should always be followed by full points.
n. (note); p. (page); e.g.; i.e.; etc.; et al.
Full points are required after ‗vol.‘ (but: ‗vols‘), ‗seq.‘
and ‗no.‘, even though the last is a contraction of numero.
Do not include full points in sets of upper-case initials
(Example: UN; USA; NATO; UK; EEC; NY (state –
always spell out New York when referring to the city)).
The plural form does not take an apostrophe (Example:
NCOs). Acronyms should always be upper-case.
See also: Measurements.
Capitalization
As a general rule, use a minimum of capital letters
throughout, including in chapter headings, subheadings,
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Louis J Harris
figure captions and labels, although proper nouns should
always be capitalized.
US English use the Chicago Manual of Style; please
retain the full point after contractions where the last letter is
lower-case.
Mr.; Mrs.; Dr.; St.; Ltd.; ed. (editor, edited by, edition);
eds. (editors)
Other abbreviations retain the full point, including
empirical measurements. mi. (mile); in.; lb.; ft.
Brand Names
Capitalize as per proper nouns.
Thermos, Vaseline, Spitfire etc.
Geographic
Use North, South, East, West if part of a political
division (Southwest Africa, Western Europe, Western
Capitalism). Other instances should remain lower-case
(south of Scotland, southern Scotland, western winds); sun,
moon and earth also remain lower-case.
Institutions
Use an upper-case initial when the name is being used
specifically or is a proper noun, but not when used
generically.
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Skinning Snakes – A Writer‘s Guide to Self-Editing
The state (i.e. the body politic), the church
(institution); the Roman Catholic Church, the Church of
England; Parliament, the Houses of Parliament but
parliamentary behaviour, parliamentarians
Political
Political parties take capitals but concepts
(communism, fascism, capitalism, social democracy,
socialism) do not. Ensure a distinction is made when using
terms such as ‗Radical/radical‘ and ‗Liberal/liberal‘;
capitalize when referring to a political party, but use lowercase when the term is used in a general political sense.
The Conservative Party, but the party; the Tory
government, the government, government policy; the Left
of the party, left-wing politics; the Ministry of Defence, the
Ministries of Defence and Agriculture; a member of the
Liberal Party, liberal views.
Titles and Institutions
Use an upper-case initial when referring to the title as,
or part of, a proper noun; otherwise, use a lowercase initial.
President Obama; Barack Obama, the president; King
Abdullah II; the king of Jordan; member of
Parliament (UK); the foreign secretary; Pope Benedict
XVI; the pope
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Louis J Harris
Dates and Time
Generally, use the following format for dates: 1 May
1975; ‗from 4 August to 10 September 1975‘ not ‗4
August–10 September 1975‘.
Use ‗from 1924 to 1928‘ not ‗from 1924–8‘; ‗between
1924 and 1928‘ not ‗between 1924–8‘. However, elision
(removing repeated numbers) of dates is allowed for
periods (Example: ‗Here are the figures for 2001–10‘).
US English: Generally, use the following format for
dates: May 1, 1975; ‗from August 4 to September
10, 1975‘ not ‗August 4–September 10, 1975‘.
Century names should usually be spelled out; however,
we can allow numerals (no superscript) if necessary –
please consult your editor.
Example: in the fifth century / in the 5th century
When used as an adjective, the term should be
hyphenated.
Example: the fourteenth-century prelate / the 14thcentury prelate
If using a century name to start a sentence, always
spell it out.
Example: Twentieth-century philosophical thought
posits
N.B. ‗the mid-fourteenth century‘ (noun) but ‗an earlyfourteenth-century prelate‘ (adjective).
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Skinning Snakes – A Writer‘s Guide to Self-Editing
Pairs of dates can be elided using an en-dash (not a
hyphen), as follows: 1970–1, 1972–3, 1915–18.
However, date ranges spanning over two centuries
cannot be elided (Example: 1809–1903). Date ranges which
begin with the first year of a century should be treated
similarly (Example: 2000–2012). BCE dates cannot be
elided.
Use a solidus (forward slash) for a year, such as a
financial or academic year, covering more than one
calendar year: 1898/9; the years 1895/6 to 1897/8.
Decades should follow the form ‗1930s‘, not ‗1930‘s‘,
‗thirties‘ or ‗Thirties‘.
Months can be abbreviated in tables and notes, but
always use the name of the month and not the number (as
UK and US dates are styled differently, and thus it can
create confusion).
Express measurements of time as follows: six months,
8.00 am (UK) / 8:00 a.m. (US), 10.00–11.15 pm (UK) /
10:00–11:15 p.m. (US), eight o‘clock, half past eight, a
five-minute break, but five minutes‘ start (no hyphen).
Foreign Languages
Use italic type for any words or phrases given in a
foreign language (that have not been subsumed into
English), with a translation, in parentheses and in roman, if
necessary (don‘t use quotation marks for this translation).
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Louis J Harris
Names of institutions, organizations and other proper nouns
should not be italicized.
Example: doppelgänger (double)
Give titles of foreign-language works in italic, in the
language in which they were written / composed / painted
etc., and follow with an English translation of the title, in
parentheses and in roman.
Example: l‘Étranger (The Outsider)
When you quote in languages other than English, use
roman type inside quotation marks.
Example: ‗Au fait, beau T-shirt‘
Localized terminology that may be unfamiliar or
confusing to non-native readers should be avoided, and
replaced by appropriate terminology for the language
chosen. (Example: the term lakh would be unfamiliar to
non–South Asian readers.) If the term must be included,
add an explanation in parentheses.
Example: Jewels and slaves worth ‗5 lakh‘ (500,000
Rupees) were stolen.
Italics
Italics must be used for the following:
1. Titles of published books, though not the Koran, the
Bible or the books of the Bible; also titles of periodicals,
long poems, plays, films, operas and oratorios, television
and radio programmes (but not individual episodes, which
should be in roman and quotes).
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Skinning Snakes – A Writer‘s Guide to Self-Editing
2. Names of ships, but not the prefix (Example: HMS
Valiant; SS Oriana).
3. Foreign words or phrases in an English sentence; but
roman and quotes for foreign quotations (see above).
4. To identify letters (Example: ‗the letter t‘).
5. For passim and sic.
Use italics for emphasis sparingly.
It is usually possible to make your point without
special emphasis.
The following do not use italics: titles of articles;
chapters; short stories (use roman and quotes for these);
apostrophes; possessive ‗s‘ following an italicized word
(Example: ‗the Discovery's home port‘); e.g.; i.e.; cf.; viz.
In italic headings it is not necessary to distinguish
foreign words or phrases by the use of quotes; instead, the
word or phrase should be romanized.
Measurements
Use the metric system, except in cases where the
official system of measurement is imperial (some
institutional regulations are still in imperial, for example) –
in which case, use imperial first followed by ametric
equivalent in parentheses. This last rule extends to the
captions and labels for artwork.
When expressing a decimal fraction less than one
whole of a unit of measurement, always use the singular
form of the unit.
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Example: 0.1 centimetre (UK) / 0.1 centimeter (US),
0.9 kilogram (not 0.1 centimetres, 0.9 kilograms)
Numerals must always be used to express
measurements. In the text, spell out the units of
measurement used; in tables, boxes, lists, captions and
labels, use abbreviations.
Example: 2 centimetres (UK) / 2 centimeters (US)
[text] 2 cm [table, box, list, caption or label]
When using abbreviations, most use the singular form;
however, ‗hrs‘, ‗qrs‘ and ‗yds‘ take an ‗s‘ plural.
Example: 2 cm / 5 yds
Use SI (Système International d‘Unités) units of
measurement. The basic units are as follows: m
(metre/meter); kg (kilogram); s (second); A (ampere); K
(kelvin); cd (candela); mol (mole).
Money
In a list, write ‗£6.00‘ and ‗$0.25‘, not ‗£6‘ and ‗25¢‘.
For pre-decimal British sums of money, s. and d. are roman
and take full points (Example: ‗£3 11s. 4d.‘); use ‗4s. 11d.‘,
not ‗4/11d.‘ Isolated references to sums of money are
spelled out for whole numbers of ninety-nine or less, using
dollars, cents, pounds etc.
Example: James needed five dollars for the bus fare
home.
When using dollar currencies other than US dollars,
always ensure their national origin is identified for clarity.
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Example: ‗C$‘ (Canadian); ‗A$‘ (Australian); ‗HK$‘
(Hong Kong)
For currencies other than dollars, sterling or euros,
spell them out, rather than using an unfamiliar symbol.
Example: 2 rupees; 15 francs
Numbers
In general, use words for numbers one to ninety-nine;
from 100 upwards use figures. Round numbers above 100
may be expressed in words when not part of a series.
When denoting a sum of currency, ‗2 million‘ etc. is
acceptable (Example: ‗The lottery jackpot had grown to
£13 million‘).
If two series of quantities are being dealt with it may
be clearer to use words for one and figures for the other
(Example: ‗Ten wards held 16 beds each, but fifteen others
contained as many as 40‘).
Use figures for exact measurements and series of
numbers.
Example: Tom has a stick measuring 2.3 metres.
He had three children, aged 4, 9 and 20, respectively.
Hyphenate spelt-out numbers (Example: twenty-one,
two-thirds). However, use figures to avoid too many
hyphens; ‗62-year-old man‘ is preferable to ‗sixty-twoyear-old man‘.
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Use a comma in thousands and larger numbers,
following the UK and US convention (Example: 6,580,
12,000, 100,000). However, do not include commas or
spaces in dates or reference numbers.
Figures are always used in percentages except when
starting a sentence. Always spell out per cent (UK) percent
(US) in the text; ‗%‘ should be used only in tables.
Omit numbers except in measurements: 21–4, 130–3,
115–19. Note that numbers from 11–19 retain the first ‗1‘,
i.e. 11–18, rather than 11–8. Do not say 2–3,000 if you
mean 2,000–3,000.
For numbered paragraphs use (1), (2), (3) etc.
Distinguish ambiguous numbers: capital letter ‗O‘ and
zero; roman and arabic one. If you refer to a billion, make it
clear whether it is a UK or US billion (UK million million,
US thousand million).
Do not start a sentence with a numeral. Spell the
number out or turn the sentence round.
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PUNCTUATION
Apostrophes
For singular possessives ending with an -s that has an
‗s‘ sound, use -s‘s.
Example: Jefferson Davis‘s home
For singular possessives ending with an -s that has an
‗eez‘ sound, use -s‘.
Example: Euripides‘ plays; Ramses‘ tomb
Do not use ‘s for plurals of capitalized abbreviations
(NCOs), decades (the 1960s) or names (the Joneses).
Do not include apostrophes to prefix ‗phone‘, ‗bus‘ or
‗flu‘.
Commas
Serial commas (i.e. before ‗and‘ in a list of three or
more items) should not be used, unless necessary for
clarity:
Example: red, white and blue
The menu choices were fish and chips, steak and chips,
or pie and mash.
Do not use a comma with a parenthetical dash. The
dash in itself indicates a sufficient pause.
Example: The ‗Howard Project‘ – originally a
speculative venture – crystallized in 1932.
NOT
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The ‗Howard Project‘ – originally a speculative
venture, – crystallized in 1932.
Do not use a comma before the opening of
parentheses.
Example: He wrote a letter (not the first one) to his
solicitor.
NOT
He wrote a letter, (not the first one) to his solicitor.
US English: The comma should be included before the
‗and‘ in lists of three or more items, especially if each item
is a single word or short phrase:
Example: red, white, and blue
Colons and Semi-colons
A colon introducing a list or other displayed material
should never be followed by a dash.
Semi-colons or full points, not commas, should be
used to separate main clauses that have different subjects
and are not introduced by a conjunction.
Example: He was trying to write a book; the ideas
would not come.
Double Punctuation
There is no need for double punctuation at the end of a
sentence, either after an abbreviation or after a punctuation
mark in inverted commas or a book or article title.
Example: The article was called ‗The Potteries, Staffs.‘
He was the editor of Which?
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Only when the punctuation mark is within parentheses
is a final punctuation mark required.
Example: He looked forward to his trip (France, Spain,
Malta etc.).
Ellipses (...)
Omit ellipses at the beginning of quotations; they
should also be omitted from the end of quotations, unless
the sentence is deliberately incomplete. Use ellipses to
indicate that material is missing within the quotation. Use
three points only.
Example: Casca said: ‗There was more foolery yet ...‘
Chicago Manual of Style places a fullstop at the end of
the ellipses to indicate end of sentence.
Also use a comma to indicate a pause, and a
questionmark to indicate a question. This is fine if the
market intended is the US market.
Full Points
When using parentheses with a full point, keep the full
point with the sense. Only when a whole sentence is in
parentheses does the full point come before the closing
parenthesis.
Example: He looked pale. (He had been ill.)
He looked pale (as one would expect).
Hyphens and Parenthetical Dashes
Use hyphens in attributive adjectival forms where there
is any dubiety regarding sense.
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Example: little-known detail; well-read individual;
much-needed reform; long-distance decision making; twoday seminar; nineteenth-century history
Hyphens should not be used for predicative adjectives.
Example: The activity was labour intensive.
When a hyphenated term has an initial cap, revert to
lower-case for the letters after the hyphen
Example: (Short-term policies).
Use en-dashes (not hyphens) to separate parenthetical
comments from the rest of a sentence (put a character space
on either side of the dash).
Example: ‗Blah – parenthetical comment – blah‘
US English: Use unspaced em-dashes (not hyphens or
en-dashes) to separate parenthetical comments from the rest
of a sentence.
Use en-dashes in place of the word ‗to‘
Example: London–Glasgow train
Parentheses and Brackets
( ) are called parentheses. Brackets are square: [ ].
Reserve square brackets for interpolations within
quotations or round uncertain data in references (for
instance, if the date or place of publication is ascertainable
but does not appear in the book). Do not use them to avoid
having parentheses within parentheses.
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Material within square brackets in quotations does not
affect the punctuation of the outer sentence.
Material within square brackets or parentheses can
have its own punctuation independent of the outer sentence.
Example: They [the enemy?] rose like one man.
Quotations
Use single quotes except for a quotation within a
quotation.
Example: He remarked: ‗This charge of ―fraudulent
conversion‖ will never stick.‘
The full point precedes the closing quotation mark
only if the quotation contains a grammatically complete
sentence starting with a capital letter.
Example: He said: ‗We must be leaving now.‘
He told them that a small proportion ‗may be available
for distribution‘.
Be careful to ensure that punctuation is included in the
correct place to avoid misinterpretation.
Example: Which of Shakespeare‘s characters said, ‗All
the world‘s a stage‘?
US English: Use double quotes except for a quotation
within a quotation.
Example: He remarked: ―This charge of ‗fraudulent
conversion‘ will never stick.‖
Periods and commas always stand within the quote
marks.
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Example: He said: ―We must be leaving now.‖
He told them that a small proportion ―may be available
for distribution,‖...
However, other punctuation should stand outside the
quote marks.
Example: The MP was ―unimpressed‖; however, the
process continued.
The book featured a debossed image—―stamp‖—on
the cover.
Tim knew his three ―favorite colors‖: red, white, and
blue.
US English: Brackets are permitted for parenthetical
purposes within parentheses.
Example: (not unlike Richard [his son] and Danielle
[his daughter])
Quotations over sixty words should be indented and
separated from the main text by a space above and below.
They should not be set within quotation marks. Quote
marks within block quotations should follow the rules
above. All quotations should otherwise be consistent in
spelling and capitalization with source.
Be sure to indicate by the indentation, or lack of it, of
the first word of the matter following the quotation whether
it is a new paragraph or a continuation of the paragraph
containing the quote. Where the paragraph continues, the
sentence following the quote should be full out.
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Example: As many had predicted, the climate turned
out to be a huge obstacle to any effective deployment.
During the defence of Diksmuide, one eyewitness saw the
Africans pass by:
In the morning the Senegalese are coming through the
devastated street … Every day there must be fifteen of
them arriving with frozen feet. They look terrible. Big tears
trickle down their sallow cheeks. The tirailleurs also
suffered severely from the infamous trench foot and when
temperatures suddenly fell they often were no longer able
to use their rifles because their hands were too cold.
Where there is a new paragraph after the quote, the
first line should be indented.
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SELF EDITING
Editing is the crux of writing.
It digests the author‘s input and throws up the shiny
new. It‘s like buying an old car and giving it a make-over
by professionals. In this section you will become your own
editor. At the end of the day, it will help you shine your
own manuscript before submitting it to an editor or a
publisher.
The truth is that many publishing houses will only
consider edited manuscripts because of the economy. Small
publishing houses don‘t have a budget to employ editors
and won‘t even look at your MS if it hasn‘t been edited. So
do the work and don‘t sweat the small stuff. Editing is fun.
Check with your local writer‘s groups and workshops for
editor contact information. Otherwise, do it yourself.
Contact a publishing house for their Inhouse Style
Guide before you begin the edit process. They have great
guidelines. Also download a copy of the Oxford Style
Manual and if in America, the Chicago Manual of Style.
These are gold. They set it all out for you so you don‘t go
wrong.
Sentence Structure
A sentence is made up of one or more of the following:
A simple sentence with one clause, and a compound
sentence with two or more clauses. Simple and compound
sentences are joined by what is known as co-ordinating
conjunctions.
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Write your first chapter using short sentence structure
only. I would stay away from using too many wordy
clauses as shown in the Community Clause List below.
Once you‘ve written the chapter, or scene, or paragraph,
add in the necessary details. This helps you avoid padding
and wordy strings.
Community Clause List
We can apply a community to each clause pattern.
A community in the English language is like a human
community; certain communities are common with each
other, others are different regarding race, color, language
and creed, and so it is with language and grammar.
Clauses to be avoided can be found in the following
communities. Not all of them need elision, be aware of
those that you repeatedly use and delete them.
Contrast clauses include: although, though, even
though, while. ( I would suggest removing these).
Reason clauses: because, since, as.
Place clauses: where, wherever, everywhere.
Purpose clauses: so that, so, because + want.
Result clauses: so that, so … that, such … that.
Time clauses: when, before, after, since, while,; as, as
soon as, by the tim,; until.
Conditional clauses: if, unless, provided (that), as long
as.
In fiction writing it‘s best to use short (simple) together
with long (compound) sentences. If you fear compound
sentences then make sure your pacing is correct by using
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simple sentences. Compound sentences usually confuse the
writer and reader because the string of the sentence is made
up of many clauses. If you‘re writing a thriller, pacing is
important and simple sentences increase the pacing. The
reader wants to get into the scene and get out of it quickly.
Prepositions
Never ever end a sentence with a preposition.
A preposition describes a relationship between other
words in a sentence. In itself, a word like "in" or "after" is
rather meaningless and hard to define in mere words.
About, above, across, after, against, around, at, before,
behind, below, beneath, beside, besides, between, beyond,
by, down, during, except, for, from, in, inside, into, like,
near, of, off, on, out, outside, over, since, through,
throughout, till, to, toward, under, until, up, upon, with,
without, according to, because of, by way of, in addition to,
in front of, in place of, in regard to, in spite of, instead of,
on account of, out of.
Also avoid these wordy clauses:
What he meant was…
The fact is / The fact that…
What came next was…
He took breaths…
To write strong, clear sentences you must know who or
what you are writing about (subject) and what you want to
say about them or it (predicate). Your writing will be more
interesting if the subject is not the first thing in every
sentence you write. It‘s called Syntax.
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The key to writing well is to use LESS WORDS to
express yourself. It‘s called the economy of words. You do
this by careful selection of the words in your sentence.
Today the reader is not interested in lengthy chapters. They
are interested in the QUALITY of the chapter. We are an
immediate gratification society.
Passive and Active Voice
Passive voice kills your writing.
Repeat after me: Passive voice kills your writing and
makes a good sentence, whacky and clunky. Here‘s the
thing; it‘s not wrong to write in passive voice, but, the best
way to write is in the active voice. One might argue that
writing continuously in the active voice takes something
away from the writing. I say it doesn‘t because passive
voice is a telling function.
"He was hit by a stone" or "a stone hit him"
The meaning of the sentence is not changed, and one
gets away with deleting two words.
I‘m not saying that you shouldn‘t write passive
sentences into your first draft, by all means, please do. But
when you begin self-editing, it‘s best to remove them
because they are considered weak writing. Editors and
publishers don‘t want them. So, in the editing phase, make
sure you remove them.
Best practice is to stick to active writing. Why use
passive voice when you can get straight to the action?
Passive voice can be confusing, and dull. Use active when
the scene is fast paced, if it's a slow scene then passive may
be okay. But use it with care.
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Identify all passive voice in your manuscript and
change most to active.
Active: The hunter killed the lion.
Passive: The lion was killed by the hunter.
Active: Someone has cleaned the windows
Passive: The windows have been cleaned
Active: I gave him a book for his birthday
Passive: He was given a book for his birthday.
Active: Someone sent her a cheque for a thousand
euros
Passive: She was sent a cheque for a thousand euros.
Unnecessary Words
This is where your intuition comes to the fore.
Unnecessary words include modifiers, quantifiers,
qualifiers, and indirect/irregular verb clauses.
Modifiers
A modifier is an optional element in phrase or clause
structure. A modifier changes the meaning of another
element in the structure on which it is dependent. Typically
the modifier can be removed without affecting the grammar
of the sentence.
Avoid them.
Almost, even, exactly, hardly, just, merely, nearly,
only, scarcely, simply.
Quantifiers
Quantifiers denote imprecise quantity.
They modify nouns or pronouns and differ from
numbers or numerals indicating precise quantity.
Avoid them as much as you will avoid modifiers.
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Few, a few, little, a little, not many, not much, a small
number of, some, most, most of, many, each, each and
every, several, a number of, enough, any, numerous, plenty
of, a lot of, lots of, too many.
Obviously you will need to use logic when expelling
modifiers and quantifiers. The decision is yours alone. Not
all of them will need to be deleted. Be careful of leaving
them where the sentence will be read as ambiguous.
Forms of To Be:
This is the most difficult of unnecessary words to
understand. But go through your work. They‘re there.
Forms of to be do the following things: they kill pacing and
they tell instead of show.
Try to remove the following from your writing. These
are all forms of TO BE.
I am
You are
He/She/It is
I was
You were
He/She/It was
Been
Has/ have/ had been
Adverbs
An adverb modifies a verb, adjective, another adverb,
determiner, noun phrase, clause, or sentence. Adverbs
typically express manner, place, time, frequency, degree,
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level of certainty, etc., answering questions such as how?,
in what way?, when?, where?, and to what extent?. This
function is called the adverbial function, and may be
realised by single words (adverbs) or by multi-word
expressions (adverbial phrases and adverbial clauses).
Adverbs are traditionally regarded as one of the parts
of speech. But have you ever thought about how adverbs
can be misused?
Stephen King has this to say about adverbs: ―I believe
the road to hell is paved with adverbs‖
Writers often turn to adverbs as part of a dialogue tag.
* ―Get out!‖ He yelled, angrily.
The dialogue is enough to show the anger. The author
could write this:
* ―Get out!‖ He slammed his fist onto the table.
In my view, angrily weakens the writing. Using too
many adverbs gives the impression you felt while writing
it, but it might not give the reader the same impression or
affect the reader in the same way. The way in which one
experiences things isn‘t always the same. As writers, it‘s
your duty to make readers experience your story from a
unique point of view. Your point of view. So says Chuck
Sambuchino in an article he wrote for Readers Digest.
Take this example:
* He tip-toed down the corridor quietly before coming
to the door that held the ultimate secret.
Quietly is meant to modify tip-toed, but tip-toeing is a
quiet act. However, you may have felt that using quietly to
place emphasis on tip-toe is the very best thing and there is
nothing that will change your mind about it. It gives
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atmosphere to the sentence and relates the message exactly
as you see it. It really doesn‘t do any of those things.
Instead, it weakens the writing. The sentence would read
better without it.
Before you use any word ending in LY, think before
you place it. Will the sentence read better without it? Can
you show the action without using the adverb? If not, then
by all means use it. Having said this, don‘t go deleting
every adverb. Sometimes they do work and they work well.
Always ask yourself, does it move the story forward?
Is it required? If not, delete it.
Adjectives
An adjective is a word or set of words that modifies
(i.e., describes) a noun or pronoun. Adjectives may come
before the word they modify, or after. They are used to
quantify, describe, or identify.
Don‘t over use them. You should be using nouns and
verbs to garnish your writing. You‘re the artist here, and
you need to draw a picture in words.
The excerpt below is taken from M. LeAnne Phoenix‘s
novel, The Covenant.
Jonathan leaned in to ghost a kiss over David‘s mouth as he
loosed his hands, whispering as he nuzzled his nose, ―I‘m not in any
hurry to take us out into the sun just yet, either, but babe, we have to
make ourselves ready for what may come if we do get found out.
In the first line she uses ‗ghost a kiss‘. Quite a
remarkable adjective to describe the impersonation of a
kiss. The reader understands it‘s meaning and that is the
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goal of the word choice. But, she also uses verbs like
‗nuzzle‘. And in the dialogue, yet another genius adjective:
‗out into the sun‘. At once the reader knows that Jonathan
is not ready to out himself, or David. She could easily have
used ‗coming out‘, but the clause is perfect for the
character.
Adjectives of appearance
Adorable, beautiful, clean, drab, elegant, fancy,
glamorous, handsome, long, magnificent, old-fashioned,
plain, quaint, sparkling, ugliest, unsightly, wide-eyed.
Adjectives of Condition
Alive, better, careful, clever, dead, easy, famous,
gifted, helpful, important, inexpensive, mushy, odd,
powerful, rich, shy, tender, uninterested, vast, wrong.
Adjectives of Feelings
Angry, bewildered, clumsy, defeated, embarrassed,
fierce, grumpy, helpless, itchy, jealous, lazy, mysterious,
nervous, obnoxious, panicky, repulsive, scary, thoughtless,
uptight, worried, agreeable, brave, calm, delightful, eager,
faithful, gentle, happy, jolly, kind, lively, nice, obedient,
proud, relieved, silly, thankful, victorious, witty, zealous.
Adjectives of Shape
Broad, chubby, crooked, curved, deep, flat, high,
hollow, low, narrow, round, shallow, skinny, square, steep,
straight, wide.
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Adjectives of Size
Big, colossal, fat, gigantic, great, huge, immense,
large, little, mammoth, massive, miniature, petite, puny,
scrawny, short, small, tall, teeny, teeny-tiny, tiny.
Adjectives of Time
Ancient, brief, early, fast, late, long, modern, old, oldfashioned, quick, rapid, short, slow, swift, young.
Adjectives of Sound
Cooing, deafening, faint, hissing, loud, melodic,
noisy, purring, quiet, raspy, screeching, thundering,
voiceless, whispering.
Adjectives of Taste
Bitter, delicious, fresh, greasy, juicy, hot, icy, loose,
melted, nutritious, prickly, rainy, rotten, salty, sticky,
strong, sweet, tart, tasteless, uneven, weak, wet, wooden,
yummy.
Adjectives of Touch
Boiling, breeze, broken, bumpy, chilly, cold, cool,
creepy, crooked, cuddly, curly, damaged, damp, dirty, dry,
dusty, filthy, flaky, fluffy, freezing, hot, warm, wet.
Adjectives of Quantity
Abundant, empty, few, full, heavy, light, many,
numerous, sparse, substantial.
Choose the right adjective wisely.
Verbs
Choose different and exciting verbs.
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The best verbs in the English language can be taken
from verbs of sound emission, run verbs or motion verbs,
waltz verbs and push/pull verbs. The following classes
(communities) of verbs are taken from Levin‘s (1993)
classification of English verbs and its alternations.
The list that follows are verbs that work. Use them.
You‘ll thank me for this at the end of the day. Verbs will
always form the most important aspect of your writing.
Verbs are doing words. In other words, they describe a
task.
Roll Verbs
Bounce, drift, drop, float, glide, move, roll, slide,
swing.
Motion Around an Axis verbs
Coil, revolve, rotate, spin, turn, twirl, twist, whirl,
wind.
Motion Verbs
Amble, backpack, bolt, bounce, bound, bowl, canter,
carom, cavort, charge, clamber, climb, clump, coast, crawl,
creep, dart, dash, dodder, drift , file, flit float, fly, frolic,
gallop, gambol, glide, goosestep, hasten, hike, hobble, hop,
hurry, hurtle, inch, jog, journey, jump, leap, limp, lollop,
lope, lumber, lurch, march, meander, mince, mosey, nip,
pad, parade, perambulate, plod, prance, promenade, prowl,
race, ramble, roam, roll, romp, rove, run, rush, sashay,
saunter, scamper, scoot, scram, scramble, scud, scurry,
scutter, scuttle, shamble, shuffle, sidle, skedaddle, skip,
skitter, skulk, sleepwalk, slide, slink, slither, slog, slouch,
sneak, somersault, speed, stagger, stomp, stray, streak,
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stride, stroll, strut, stumble, stump, swagger, sweep, swim,
tack, tear, tiptoe, toddle, totter, traipse, tramp, travel, trek,
troop, trot, trudge, trundle, vault, waddle, wade, walk,
wander, whiz, zigzag, zoom.
The following verbs can also be included in this class:
barge, blow, break, burn, cruise, crush, drop, leapfrog, sag,
schuss, scorch, scrape, scuff, shin, shoot, shove, shuttle,
slip, snake, spank, spring, sprint, stamp, steal, steam, steer,
step, storm, stream, struggle, surge, swing, throng, thrust,
tobbogan, toil, tootle, whirl.
And from Merriam-Webster, one can draw lurk (to
move furtively or inconspicuously), pound ("to move along
heavy or persistently" in one of its transitive senses, but "to
move with or make a heavy repetitive noise" in one of its
intransitive senses) and dawdle (to move lackadaisically:
dawdled up the hill).
Verbs of motion involving a vehicle
Balloon, bicycle, bike, boat, bobsled, bus, cab, canoe,
caravan, chariot, coach, cycle, dogsled, ferry, gondola,
helicopter, jeep, jet, kayak, moped, motor, motorbike,
motorcycle, parachute, punt, raft, rickshaw, rocket, skate,
skateboard, ski, sled, sledge, sleigh, taxi, toboggan, tram,
trolley, yacht.
Verbs that are not vehicle names:
Cruise, drive, fly, oar, paddle, pedal, ride, row, sail,
tack.
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Verbs of motion that derive from the names
of animals
Squirrel away the money, chicken out of a fight, snake
through the cars, hare down the road, rabbit along at 90
miles an hour, moused along the parkside, cat it up the
waterpipe.
Waltz Verbs
Boogie, bop, cancan, clog, conga, dance, foxtrot, jig,
jitterbug, jive, pirouette, polka, quickstep, rumba, samba,
shuffle, squaredance, tango, tapdance, waltz.
Any dance can be turned into a verb in English. Their
meaning involves motion, but it does not indicate directed
motion unless it appears with a directional. As an example:
The couple waltzed to the window.
Verbs of Body-Internal Motion
Buck, fidget, flap, gyrate, kick, rock, squirm, sway,
teeter, totter, twitch, waggle, wiggle, wobble, wriggle.
Push/Pull Verbs
Draw, heave, jerk, press, pull, push, shove, thrust, tug,
yank.
Verbs of Throwing
Bash, bat, bunt, cast, catapult, chuck, fire (projectile),
flick, fling, flip, hit (ball), hurl, kick (ball), knock, lob, loft,
nudge, pass, pitch, punt, shoot (projectile), shove, slam,
slap, sling, smash, tap, throw, tip, toss.
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Verbs of Sending and Carrying
Send Verbs: airmail, convey, deliver, dispatch,
express, FedEx, forward, hand, mail, pass, port, post,
return, send, shift, ship, shunt, slip, smuggle, sneak,
transfer, transport, UPS.
Slide Verbs: bounce, float, move, roll, slide.
Carry Verbs: carry, drag, haul, heave, heft, hoist, kick,
lug, pull, push, schlep, shove, tote, tow, tug.
Drive Verbs
Barge, bus, cart, drive, ferry, fly, row, shuttle, truck,
wheel, wire (money).
Chase Verbs
Chase, follow, pursue, shadow, tail, track, trail.
Accompany Verbs
Accompany, conduct, escort, guide, lead, shepherd.
Meander Verbs
Cascade, climb, crawl, cut, drop, go, meander, plunge,
run, straggle, stretch, sweep, tumble, turn, twist, wander,
weave, wind.
Funnel Verbs
Bang, channel, dip, dump, funnel, hammer, ladle,
pound, push, rake, ram, scoop, scrape, shake, shovel,
siphon, spoon, squeeze, squish, squash, sweep, tuck, wad,
wedge, wipe, wring.
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Verbs of Putting with a Specified Direction
Drop, hoist, lift, lower, raise.
Pour Verbs
Dribble, drip, pour, slop, slosh, spew, spill, spurt.
Spray/Load Verbs
Brush, cram, crowd, cultivate, dab, daub, drape,
drizzle, dust, hang, heap, inject, jam, load, mound, pack,
pile, plant, plaster, prick, pump, rub, scatter, seed, settle,
sew, shower, slather, smear, smudge, sow, spatter, splash,
splatter, spray, spread, sprinkle, spritz, squirt, stack, stick,
stock, strew, string, stuff, swab, vest, wash, wrap.
Verbs of Sound Emission
Babble, bang, beat, beep, bellow, blare, blast, blat,
bleat, boom, bubble, burble, burr, buzz, chatter, chime,
chink, chir, chitter, chug, clack, clang, clank, clap, clash,
clatter, click, cling, clink, clomp, clump, clunk, crack,
crackle, crash, creak, crepitate, crunch, cry, ding, dong,
explode, fizz, fizzle, groan, growl, gurgle, hiss, hoot, howl,
hum, jangle, jingle, knell, knock, lilt, moan, murmur,
patter, peal, ping, pink, pipe, plink, plonk, plop, plunk, pop,
purr, putter, rap, rasp, rattle, ring, roar, roll, rumble, rustle,
scream, screech, shriek, shrill, sing, sizzle, snap, splash,
splutter, sputter, squawk, squeak, squeal, squelch, strike,
swish, swoosh, thrum, thud, thump, thunder, thunk, tick,
ting, tinkle, toll, tootle, trill, trumpet, twang, ululate,
vroom, wail, wheeze, whine, whir, whish, whistle, whoosh,
whump, zing.
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Skinning Snakes – A Writer‘s Guide to Self-Editing
Perceptions
When you write: ―He heard‖, ―He saw‖, ―He felt‖, the
writing weakens because you‘re telling instead of showing.
Instead, use the five senses to drive what the character saw
or heard or felt.
The moment your main character, protagonist, hero,
romantic lead, favorite detective etc., is in the scene, (and
that should ideally be in almost every scene of the
manuscript), with another character, it could be the
antagonist, confidant, mother, father, sibling, romantic
interest etc., never forget the reader is also there.
Change the perception. Don‘t write he heard, he saw,
he felt. The reader will always have a different perception
to the writer. Therefore, describe.
Which is better? (The first name is the viewpoint
character).
* John felt Aubrey‘s fingers on the back of his head,
or, Aubrey touched John lightly on the back of his head,
sending a shiver down his spine.
* Craig saw fear on Riley‘s face as the door opened by
itself and a chill wind swept through the room, or, Riley‘s
face twisted, his eyes grew wider, his skin turned pale as
the door opened…
* Jason heard the clock chiming and he knew that
Rodney was late, or maybe Rodney wasn‘t coming at all,
or, the clock chimed several times and Jason realised that
Rodney was late…
Perception is important. There are times when you can
use he heard, he saw, he felt, but because you‘re not in the
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Louis J Harris
business of telling, but showing stories, now is the time to
change that perception.
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Skinning Snakes – A Writer‘s Guide to Self-Editing
THOR’S HAMMER
The moment you finish writing it‘s essential to take a
break. Not a day, not two days. Take a week. Maybe two
weeks. Then come back to it. It‘s amazing how you‘ll
perceive what you have written after a break. Little things
hit you like a thunderclap and you‘ll probably offend
yourself by thinking that you‘ve written a load of crap.
Things need to be changed, so change them.
The Basics
* Read each chapter out loud before editing. This gives
you an idea of how other readers will perceive your style.
Read it with passion.
*
The
basics
of
a
good
story
are:
Plot/Character/Scene/Dialogue/Settings/Description/Action
/Sequel/Deepening/Failure/Conflict/Success/Climax.
* All of the above basics interweave with each other.
They cross-pollinate. My cross pollination principles
involve: Goal/Emotions/Reactions/Logic/
* Check for all of these in every chapter, and when
something doesn‘t gel, if a character‘s goal is not clear, if
the emotions involved don‘t translate to the reader, then
rewrite.
Action
Have you used too many descriptive adverbs? Or
maybe you got stuck in a scene and overwrote it, causing
padding? Padding destroys pace. If you‘re in a dialogue
scene with only two characters, too much descriptive body
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language, and too many dialogue tags will destroy the
dialogue and the scene. Be economical with words.
In your descriptions cut the flab. You describe things,
people, places and settings. It‘s easy to get lost in what you
are describing. Here are a few pointers for powerful
writing.
* Omit or reduce adjectives.
* Make a list of unwanted ―habit‖ words and reduce or
delete them. These words won‘t earn you the money or the
recognition.
Some, very, a bit, a little, fairly, highly, just, back
(watch out for this word. looking back too many times, or
going back to the room or the primary setting in the scene
too many times), kind of (teenagers use this), kinda, sorta,
sort of, mostly, pretty (describe the prettiness), beautiful,
handsome, rather, really, slightly, so, somewhat, and then,
wonderful, adorable, horrible, nasty, terrible, silly, comely,
also, that which, which was, as well, since, the fact that,
and that meant, began to (just do it), started to (just do it),
then, and then, that, appeared to, seemed to, hopefully
(rather write hope), while, at the same time that, whatever.
* Reduce or omit indirect verb phrases. Use action
phrases.
He was dancing becomes he danced. Was talking –
talked. Was swimming – swam. Was walking – walked.
Was spying – spied. Was masturbating – masturbated. Was
kissing – kissed. Was running – ran.
* Get rid of unnecessary articles. A/An/The.
* Delete AND at the beginning of sentences.
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Skinning Snakes – A Writer‘s Guide to Self-Editing
* Never begin a sentence with There was/ There are/
There is.
* Body parts do not act on their own.
* Don‘t use ―eyes‖ when someone is looking at
something. ―His eyes fell to the floor.‖ Really? Use Gaze.
* Never say something in dialogue and then repeat it in
the narrative.
* Check for overused character names and insert he or
she in their place. Clarity and Precision.
(Always edit for clarity and precision).
* Cut out clichés.
* There were and there was are telling words.
* Remember, show, don‘t tell.
* Don‘t use the same word twice on a page. It weakens
the writing. There are many synonyms, but becareful not to
use a homonym to replace that word. The reader notices a
repeated word immediately.
* Check for repetition of a habit word throughout the
manuscript.
* Reduce or delete misplaced modifiers and
quantifiers.
* Reduce and delete dots and dashes…writers don‘t
use dots and dashes like in the past…avoid them.
* Cut exclamation marks. Too many weakens the
writing!!!!! The reader will not accept exclamation
pollution.
* Long paragraphs need to be broken up.
* Get out of the habit of showing every movement of
the character in long, boring sentences.
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Louis J Harris
* Keep your sentences short by all means but there are
times when you‘ll have to mix short and long sentences.
Simple sentence structure turns the reader on.
* Don‘t misuse proper pronouns. He/she, him/her can
do the job even better.
-Amanda Patterson, How to Write a Novel
Personal Pronouns
* ―Johnson is the youngest representative in the
legislature. When he was twenty-three, Johnson defeated
the Republican incumbent.‖
For some reason, a lot of people tend to needlessly
repeat proper names, forgetting that they have at their
disposal the very useful pronouns ―he‖ and ―she.‖ They
have the added value of being in the category of common
words, mentioned above, that can be repeated with near
impunity. So the passage above could become:
* ―Johnson is the youngest representative in the
legislature. At the age of twenty-three, he defeated the
Republican incumbent.‖
Brian Klems, Writer‘s Digest
I have never understood how it is possible to forget
this principle. Amateur writers abuse the proper pronoun
time and again, even when there are only two characters in
a scene the character‘s names are repeated time and again.
Drop that habit, it makes your writing cumbersome and
heavy.
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Skinning Snakes – A Writer‘s Guide to Self-Editing
He said/She Said
For some unknown and fathomless reason, writers
want to find new ways of tagging dialogue. Often, they
botch it. He said/she said, asked, exclaimed are the most
common ways to express a dialogue tag. Nothing else
matters. Writers tend to become incredibly creative when
trying to reinvent this wheel.
What the writer forgets quite easily is that a dialogue
tag is just that. A dialogue tag. He said/she said has been
used for centuries and it does it‘s work quietly. The
reader‘s brain doesn‘t see it as repetition at all.
Let‘s dig deeper into this principle:
* ―I think you‘re the most remarkable man I‘ve ever
met.‖ John barked over the din of the crowd.
* Words do not bark. Words are spoken. Words do not
moo, squalk, cry, laugh.
―You‘re a comedian.‖ Conrad laughed. Really. How
do words laugh?
* ―I think you should come back home.‖ Peter smiled.
I‘ve never seen a word smile or cry. Have you? These are
not dialogue tags. These are facial expressions.
When two characters are in a room alone, it‘s not
necessary to state who is saying what if you have made it
clear to the reader who is who. That type of writing is
amateurish and weak.
Excerpt
Ravenheart.
from
Uncommon
Valor,
by
Rachel
―Sorry, I‘m so used to introducing myself as Lt. Johnson I
sometimes forget I have a first name.‖ He chuckled and ran a hand
through his short hair. ―I also have his cell phone. I thought you could
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maybe get the pictures and videos off it, or at least try. I‘ve never tried
to get things off a broken cell phone before, but I‘ve heard that as long
as the memory card is fine you can retrieve your information and
transfer to a new device.‖
―I have a similar phone, so I should be able to connect it to my
computer and download the photos and videos if the phone isn‘t too
damaged.‖
―I want you to know if you ever need to talk, I‘m a good listener.
Have you got a piece of paper and a pen lying around?‖ he said,
searching the room.
I pulled my phone out and handed it to him. ―Just put the number
in here, that way I won‘t lose it.‖
He chuckled and took the phone from me, punched in his number
and sent my number to his phone.
―Remember, you need anything at all, even if it‘s just an ear, give
me a call. The team is going to be stationed at Miramar for the
foreseeable future. It‘s just a short jaunt down the highway.‖
―I really appreciate it. When are you guys moving out here?‖
―We report to Miramar in two weeks. We bought a house there so
the team can stay together and not have to live in the barracks on base.
You‘re more than welcome to hang out with us on weekends.‖
―I may take you up on that. What all did Sam say about me?‖ I
was a little worried he may have accidentally outed me.
―Just that you‘re an awesome little brother and you‘re in law
school. A huge football fan. You love to draw. He kept the picture you
drew of the two of you in his bag, and he took it with him on
deployment overseas. Otherwise, it was tacked up in his room. We
were actually wondering if we could keep it in the house when we
move, in memory of him.‖
The above excerpt has been designed to minimize
speech tags precisely because the reader knows exactly
who is speaking.
Another way that writer‘s express dialogue is by using
speech as we use it every day. Some writers believe this is
the only way to write dialogue.
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Skinning Snakes – A Writer‘s Guide to Self-Editing
A good writer gives the illusion of everyday speech.
How that‘s done can‘t be taught. It needs to be motivated
by the writer himself. However, some guidelines here
would be appropriate:
Cut unnecessary words from the dialogue. Stop using
hesitators at the beginning of the speech.
* ―I went to town and shopped at Cutworths for the
ideal dress to wear at the party.‖
―Oh, really now. What color dress did you buy and
how much was it?‖
Or
* ―I shopped at Cutworths for a dress to wear at the
party.‖
―What color is it? How much did it cost?‖
* ―Do you understand the problem? You‘re killing us
with your pettiness. With your insistent grumbling and
moaning.‖
―I am killing you? Well, I never looked at it quite like
that before.‖
Or
* ―Killing you? I never looked at it like that.‖
The dialogue should move the story forward. Adverbs
kill any tag associated with the dialogue because the
dialogue should show what the adverb is telling the reader.
Dialogue should create character and conflict. Use it
well.
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GAY WRITING
Being gay, and being a writer who dabbles in both the
straight and gay genres, I did, at first, find that writing
about myself and my world, was difficult. I had no idea
where to start. I had no idea what the public wanted from
the story. I pondered whether to use the word ―gay‖, or not
at all. I mean, nowhere in a straight romance does the
character ever tell his love interest, ―Listen, I‘m straight.‖
Nor does he come to his parents and say, ―I have to tell you
both that I‘m straight.‖ So the first thing I learnt was not to
use that convention.
1. Instead of outing the character in your story, allow
the story to take shape around his sexual nature.
I also had a problem with bar and club scenes. In the
70‘s and 80‘s, clubbing was the trend amongst us gay folk.
Unless you‘re writing a story about a night club, and using
it as the main setting, try not to bring it into your story.
Yes, I know, many lovers met at bars and clubs, and that‘s
precisely why bars and clubs are so cliché.
2. Try not to write a bar or club scene unless the bar
or club is a main setting in the story. It’s a tired cliché.
I read Philadelphia, also watched the movie. Hundreds
of books were written about AIDS and HIV in the 80‘s.
Since then there has been a plethora of gay stories about
beautiful people who have succumbed to HIV. I think
we‘ve had enough. If you‘re going to write a gay story with
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Skinning Snakes – A Writer‘s Guide to Self-Editing
a main character dying of AIDS, make it different. The
character could have a motor car accident and require a
blood transfusion. The blood is contaminated. Maybe the
character sues the hospital, or the government.
Today, of-course, it‘s easier to live with HIV than ever
before. Maybe a story about how a character lives with the
disease on a daily basis.
One thing I have found amongst readers is that they
always love the downtrodden, or the black sheep of the
family, or the handicapped. As a writer you should be
catering to a reader‘s emotions, no matter what it is you are
writing.
3. If your plot has a main character who has HIV,
make it different, rather than him contracting it through
intercourse.
You may consider an answer to this question. What
gay plots should I include for my gay characters? The
answer is simple. None. There are no gay ―plots‖. You can
take Romeo and Juliet and make it a gay storyline. A
straight author can take ―The Front Runner‖ by Patricia
Nell Warren and make it a straight story.
This is interesting because some will say, bloody hell,
what about the coming of age gay story? Answer: What
about the coming of age straight story? It‘s all the same.
Nothing different.
What about the plot that involves a straight man
turning gay overnight? (I would suggest stay away from
that unless you have the experience). It‘s also the same as a
gay man turning straight overnight.
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It‘s all the same. Just write it well.
It doesn‘t need to have sexy men fornicating on every
page. That‘s porn by the way, but it must have a story arc.
Opening problem – attempted solution – complication
– attempted solution – complication – attempted solution –
Climax/ending.
In other words: Exposition / Rising Action / Climax /
Denouement
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THE SECRET TO GREAT STORIES
Action and Sequel
So you think that creating a beginning, middle and end,
creating beautiful descriptions, amazing characters and
wonderful writing, makes a great book.
Think again.
Sure, these are principles and values that every author
should keep in mind and they are the basics.
It‘s all about Action and Sequel and Deepening.
For years I battled to sustain the middle of a story. It
was a frustrating waltz where my creation constantly
stepped on my toes. I caved in several times. Never
finished. The beginning was fine, the ending was fine, but
the middle stumped me. Until I figured it out by reading as
much as I could and assimilating the structure of the
writing. I read Steinbeck and Hemingway, Shakespeare,
Robert Bolt and James Joyce. I read Agatha Christie, Nora
Roberts and Patricia Nel Warren and made copious notes
on how they developed their middles.
And then I hit it.
It‘s all about Action and Sequel and Deepening.
In every book I read there was an action chapter, or
several of them, broken by a sequel chapter or a follow up
chapter. I could write action chapters, no problem. I had no
idea that the follow up chapter was equally important. I
found that some authors wrote several action chapters and
then a sequel chapter. I found that authors did not write
several sequel chapters one after the other. It was always
Action/Action/Action – Sequel – new goal Action – sequel.
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There are a number of combinations. But the action
chapter/s all led to the sequel chapter. That was my
problem. Writing about how a character felt after a goal
failure. His/her thoughts/ In whom does the character
confide? Why would he confide in another character? How
did the character deal with the failure and how did he come
to a new decision, a new short term goal without losing
sight of the main goal?
The Action scene is all about pace. Conveying
urgency. The character has a goal, there is conflict and
eventual disaster. Action scenes should be:
1.Started in the middle of the action.
2.Made easy for the reader to identify the character
viewpoint.
3.Made easy for the reader to know where the action is
taking place.
4.Easy for the reader to identify the conflict quickly.
Start slowly and rise to a crescendo. The action scene
is all about the character trying to achieve his goal but fails.
And he‘ll continue to fail, and the failures will continue to
get worse until the story and goals have moved efficiently
forward to a climax.
The sequel scene is all about the character‘s emotion,
the problem (the last failure), his/her decision, developing a
new short term goal, and action. The following pointers are
of importance here:
1.Remind the reader of the failure that has just
happened.
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2.Play with your character‘s emotions.
3.After a time, the character becomes rational, show
him coming to a decision.
4.And now you‘re ready to reveal the character‘s new,
short term goal.
5.The sequel can take place over a few hours, days or
weeks.
The following excerpt is an example of an action scene
in A Hard Day‘s Night, by Mia Kerick.
‗I lean up on one elbow. ―Where are you going? It‘s only two
a.m.‖ I want to plead with him. To remind him that he promised me
twenty-four hours of togetherness. And that he is leaving seven hours
too soon.
But he doesn‘t answer me. He feels around in the dark for his
preppy vest.
―I know where you‘re going! Off to help Cecelia with her
chemistry homework… that‘s it, isn‘t it?‖ I know he isn‘t actually
going to Cecelia‘s house right now, in the middle of the night, but it‘s
what Cece and her chemistry homework represent that I‘m talking
about.
He opens the bandage and the plastic scraps fall to the floor.
Without bending to pick them up, he folds the flesh-colored bandage
over his silver stud to hide it. Literally slayed, I fall back on the bed.
―Just leave! Go back to the frigging safety of your California
Closet!‖ Has the drama queen finally emerged, or am I just devastated
by what is happening?
I know he must have no clue what I‘m talking about, but I don‘t
care. I‘m wrecked. I have lost everything just when I thought I had it
all.
The door to my bedroom closes quietly.
In the above action scene there is a fair amount of
jealousy. Finn is leaving early in the morning and that goes
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against the grain of what Lennon wants. A good pairing
would find both characters in each other‘s arms until early
morning light.
The next chapter is the sequel scene and shows us how
Lennon deals with the situation. His mother senses there is
something wrong and she becomes his confidant in this
scene.
I immediately feel guilty. It isn‘t my mother‘s fault that Fin
doesn‘t know what he wants. I sit up on my bed and cross my legs.
―Mom, it didn‘t go as well as I‘d hoped.‖ I‘m not in the mood to
explain to her that, at first, it was awkward, but soon it went better than
I‘d ever dreamed, only to fall apart in the home stretch. ―I‘ll give you
more details when you get home from work, ‗kay?‖
Mom rushes back over to the bed and grabs my hand from the
pillow. ―I‘m sure you guys will work it out.‖
I can‘t exactly say, ―You wouldn‘t say that if you‘d seen his face
right after we jerked each other off.‖ Not even to my cool-and-with-it
mother. It‘s plain old TMI. ―I don‘t know. He left without saying
goodbye.‖
―We Can Work It Out.‖
―Hello Goodbye.‖
―I‘m So Tired.‖
―Yesterday.‖
There are so many Beatles songs that were made for this moment.
I guess I‘m not the first person to endure this kind of pain.
―Well, I‘m heading off to work. I‘ll call and check on you when
I‘m on my break.‖ She offers me a fist pump. I accept. ―Be strong.‖
―Thanks, Mom.‖
I finally drift off to sleep.
From the dialogue it‘s clear that Lennon is hurting.
Several songs written by The Beatles deal with the same
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Skinning Snakes – A Writer‘s Guide to Self-Editing
hurt and in his mind he goes through the names of some of
the tunes. His mother sees that his strength has waned and
promises to check on him during the day. This might
happen in real life, where the only way is to confide in
someone special after a life changing event. Further on, the
sequel checks every box that makes the two chapters come
together.
The Confidant
Essential to the secret is the confidant. Every hero or
protagonist, even the antagonist, must have a confidant. It‘s
essential. Characters usually choose best friends, parents,
even their pet dogs in which to confide. The confidant is
someone whom the hero can trust, and the reader also trusts
that person, implicitly. The confidant is a great listener and
always gives the greatest advice. The hero does not come to
a decision on his own.
In Geoffrey Bauernfeind‘s novella, To Move Forward,
Patrick is on an outing with old boyfriend, Ben. During the
event, Jake, Patrick‘s best friend, contacts him by cell
phone.
I nearly fell off the bench when my cell phone rang. I had
forgotten about Jake.
―Do you have to answer it?‖ Ben asked, pouting.
―I‘d better.‖
―Hello?‖
―Paaatriccck!‖ Jake said in the way he always did. ―How‘s it
going? Do you need a rescue?‖
―Hang on.‖ I quickly put my hand over the phone. ―Sorry Ben, be
right back.‖
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―We‘ll be here.‖ Ben‘s voice was calm but he didn‗t look
pleased.
I moved away. ―Thanks. No, it‘s going ok for now. I‘m actually
having a good time.‖
―Really?‖
―Yes, really. I mean, well, like I said. Some hurt, you know, but
it‗s still okay. He‘s still Ben in so many ways.‖ Jake was the only
person who knew the full extent of my dilemma.
―Just be careful,‖ he said sincerely. ―Do you need me to call you
later to say your place burnt down or something?‖
―No. Really, I‘m a big boy, I‘ll be fine. It was stupid to ask you to
call.‖
―No big deal. Call me if you need anything.‖ Jake‘s role as
Patrick‘s confidant is text book perfect. He knows everything about
Patrick, knows his virtues and vices. It‘s Jake‘s job to preserve Patrick,
to protect him.
Deepening
The reader can‘t always spot the way the writer has
Deepened a character. But it‘s there. It always is. Simply
put, Deepening is giving depth to your characters,
descriptions and scenes. You do this by not being mediocre
but by being passionate about your characters, descriptions,
plot and story goals.
Deepen your characters by adding:
Symbolism
Symbolic gestures, like throwing a peace sign. It may
be old but hasn‘t been used forever.
A literary symbol gives more meaning to the object,
character, scene or action. ―… that in addition to its literal
meaning suggests other meanings as well.‖ (From
Humboldt State University).
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The story itself must furnish a clue—via repetition,
emphasis, or position—that a detail is to be taken
symbolically
A symbol may have more than one meaning; it may
suggest a cluster of meanings.
Symbol Categories
Universal or cultural symbols embody ideas and
emotions that writers and readers share: snake as
temptation and evil, water as life and sexuality, egg as
rebirth, night as death, etc.
Metaphor
Compares one thing with another. It says A is B.
The most famous speech from ―As You Like It‖ is a
metaphor.
―All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances…
-William Shakespeare, As You Like It
Linguists use tenor and the vehicle to describe the parts
of a metaphor. The tenor is the subject and the vehicle is
the object whose attributes are borrowed. In the previous
example, "the world" is compared to a stage, describing it
with the attributes of "the stage"; "the world" is the tenor,
and "a stage" is the vehicle; "men and women" is the
secondary tenor, and "players" is the secondary vehicle.
* It's raining men - Men do not literally pour from the
sky; there are simply an abundance of male suitors around
at the time.
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* Time is a thief - Time isn't really stealing anything,
this metaphor just indicates that time passes quickly and
our lives pass us by.
* He is the apple of my eye – The eye does not have an
apple. Nor is a human being an apple. But apples are tasty
and great to look at. It means that he is your favorite
person.
Other writers employ the general terms ground and
figure to denote the tenor and the vehicle. Cognitive
linguistics uses the terms target and source respectively.
(Wikipedia)
Personification
Involves giving the attributes of a human being to an
animal, object, or concept. It is always implied. 1984 by
George Orwell is personification.
The flame of the candle danced in the dark.
The stars danced playfully in the moonlit sky.
Opportunity was knocking at her door.
At precisely 6:30 am my alarm clock sprang in to life.
The tornado ran through town without a care.
My life came screeching to a halt.
Time creeps up on you.
The hare laughed at the tortoise.
The news took me by surprise.
The tsunami raced towards the coastline.
The sun smiled and chased away the angry clouds.
Simile
Is a comparison, using like or as ("my love is like a
red, red rose," "as strong as an ox," etc,).
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The Columbia Encyclopedia (6th edition) explains the
difference between a metaphor and a simile as:
―A simile states that A is like B, a metaphor states that
A is B or substitutes B for A.‖
"Curley was flopping like a fish on a line."
-Of Mice and Men, by John Steinbeck
"The very mist on the Essex marshes was like a gauzy
and radiant fabric."
"Why, man, he doth bestride the narrow world like a
Colossus."
"And the executioner went off like an arrow."
-Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll
The simile‘s keyword is ―like‖ while the metaphor‘s
key word is ―is‖.
Repetition of an Idea
Repetition of an idea is different to repetition of words.
It empowers the manuscript by allowing the reader to
remember what the original theme of the story is right from
the beginning. Don‘t splash it all over the manuscript. Use
this principle wisely. Usually after the surprises or during
sequel/follow-up chapters.
Memory is founded on the basis of repetition.
Go back to the introduction of this guide where I‘ve
used Rob Damon‘s first line repeated in the first chapter. It
hammers the idea that something is about to change. It
empowers the reader with curiosity.
The most famous book that uses repetition as a
principle is the Bible.
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Parallelism of Events
Sometimes background information isn‘t enough. One
can set the story during a time of great catastrophe, for
instance during the 2nd world war or during the Japanese
Tsunami or even during the destruction of the World Trade
towers. This infuses the story with authenticity and many
authors use this principle to deepen the plot.
Deepening does not mean using flashbacks, although
flashbacks may be imperative to the story. It doesn‘t mean
describing a person‘s vehicle. It doesn‘t mean writing about
a person who is ill.
It does mean that the reader is given moments of
genius glimpses into the inner being of the character, or the
scene.
* A motorbike rider stops at a fuel stop after a long
ride. His feet are wobbly. As he gets off the bike, he trips
over his feet.
* Two guys meet at a bus stop. They both hit it off
immediately; one of them tries to talk but feels like a
school kid. He smiles relentlessly. Stammers over his
words.
Show the reader these things. Deepen your characters.
It‘s like chocolate melting on your tongue. It‘s writing from
the soul.
In the following passage taken from The Island
Keepers, by Kristopher Quentin, we see deepening in
several sentences.
I knew who originated it without listening. I felt like a man with
his hands tied behind his back, a hood over his head and a rope around
his neck.
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―Wyatt, do not call me no more. After your love affair with David
last night I know you are too sweet on him to care about your ignorant
hick even a little. I know I‘s just a stand in for David. Nothing more.
And it smarts so bad I can‘t takes it.‖
The trap door opened.
I fell into a deep and dark malaise, choking on my own conflict
and phlegm.
My head crashed into the steering wheel.
I screamed.
Anyone walking past my vehicle in the darkness of that predawn
hour would have thought I had escaped from the psychiatric ward.
The main character, Wyatt, has found a note from his
lover. His lover is leaving him. Wyatt feels like a trapped
man. It‘s as though he has been tried in a court and he‘s
been sentenced to death by hanging. The rope is around his
neck. There‘s a black hood over his head. (The metaphors
are a work of genius). There is nowhere to go. Nowhere to
hide. His mind is calling out for help. The writer of the note
is his lover, Thayne. The reader instantly sees that
Thayne‘s level of education is low. That‘s Thayne‘s reality.
That‘s his deepening. But it also shows Thayne as a highly
intelligent person because he knows that Wyatt is not ready
for his special love. Something will need to change, and the
deepening of the words in this passage promises that
something will, indeed, change.
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THE THIRTY POINT PLAN
Here‘s my fifty point plan to ensure your writing
shines.
1. Read.
2. Assimilate.
3. Learn.
4. Increase your vocabulary by learning a new word
every now and then.
5. Write for your audience.
6. Keep it simple.
7. Be consistent.
8. Keep sentences short.
9. Use logic.
10. Avoid unnecessary words.
11. Avoid using too many abbreviations.
12. Use the basic rules of grammar.
13. Avoid passive voice.
14. Avoid qualifiers and quantifiers.
15. Check spelling – use the correct dictionary for your
side of the world.
16. Avoid using prepositions at the end of sentences.
17. Use He said/she said and understand dialogue
tagging.
18. Give the illusion of everyday speech.
19. Use striking verbs.
20. Avoid unnecessary adverbs and adjectives.
21. Be sure of how to use punctuation, capital letters,
date and time conventions for your locality.
22. Avoid using too many dots and dashes.
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23. Ensure you follow every edit made by the
publisher‘s copywriter.
24. Deepen your characters, plot and descriptions.
25. Use the secret of action, sequel and deepening in
your writing.
26. Avoid using perceptions incorrectly.
27. Use symbolism in your writing.
28. Know how a sentence is built.
29. Get a publisher‘s Inhouse Style Guide.
30. Format your manuscript according to conventional
guidelines.
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THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW
Plotting
Everything‘s been done. It‘s how you convey the story
that makes it different. Ideas are not plots. A plot is a
concrete series of events with a main character who will
change. It has a beginning, middle and an end. Some
writers will plan every scene and chapter, other writers will
just write. Always start the story closest to the action, or the
moment of change.
Viewpoint
Includes the following: First person, second person or
third person. Whichever POV you decide on, make sure
you remain in that viewpoint.
Genre and Setting
Different genres will dictate how you write the story.
Romance, horror, crime, thrillers, sci-fi and fantasy,
westerns, cult, war, detective, young adult, new adult. Your
writing is controlled by the genre.
Settings are linked to genres. A romance setting could
take place on a ship or an exotic place, but Romance can
also develop during times of great catastrophe. A horror
story could have a haunted house as the main setting.
Characters
Characters should give the illusion of realness. The
reader must warm to them and believe in them. A character
must have stature, presence, and flair and they must be
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memorable. If you‘re new to writing, plan your characters.
Interview them. Keep memory cards.
Dialogue
Dialogue shows conflict, moves the story forward and
shows character. Know when to use speech tags. Know that
smile, cry, stare, grin etc, are not dialogue tags, they are
facial expressions. Use he said/she said instead of trying to
find creative ways to tag speech.
Scene
A scene consists of a goal, conflict and disaster. A
sequel scene is all about emotion, quandary, decision and
then back to the action. Make sure the scene answers the
five W questions: Who, what, where, when and why. Who
are you talking about? For whom are you writing? What is
the point of whatever it is you are trying to say? Where did
the happenings take place? When did these events take
place? Why did these events take place? How did these
events take place? Are your descriptions written better
than anyone else can write them?
Pacing
If you don‘t use plot correctly, scenes and chapters will
be overwritten. Padded. Use single sentences and only
when revising or editing, make the sentences longer.
Passive voice kills pacing. Overuse of adverbs and
adjectives kills pacing.
Beginning, Middle and End
By now you should get it that the beginning shows
intent and objective or goal. It should grab the reader or
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editor. Readers can pick a good story just by the first
paragraph. Most readers browse through the book before
settling down to read it. Create some mystery.
The middle is the rising action and follows a pattern or
a formula. It also meets the principle of action and sequel
scenes. The end of each chapter should have something that
the reader will want to turn the page. The end is the climax
and resolution of all the difficulties in the story. The end
needs to have a sense of purpose. Your main goal in the
end is to leave the reader satisfied.
Being a Professional Writer
Some writers are so disorganized it boggles the mind.
But here are a few pointers to make your writing fun:
Organize your physical space. Ensure your desk is clean at
all times, files are in the right place, important ideas are
written down and easily accessible. Try to write at a
window with a view if you can. Use the correct tools like a
computer with MS Word, a good dictionary, a thesaurus.
Be in the right frame of mind to write. Cut costs, make time
and set your writing goals, meet deadlines, and don‘t give
up your day job.
Ideas
Start with what you know, then who you know. Study
your market. Know your readers. Write your ideas down.
Treat them kindly. Prime your unconscious mind. Try
something new. Erle Stanley Gardner, creator of the Perry
Mason series, turned out eleven stories in May, 1931. Mark
Hellinger wrote and sold one short story every day. Keep a
notebook and study your notes to see if any ideas can be
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used for a story. Observe the world closely and read or visit
places that interest you.
Writing skills
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First advice is to write well.
Keep your reader in mind.
Be concise.
Avoid pompous words.
Prune empty words.
Avoid tautologies.
Use concrete words.
Keep your writing lively.
Choose strong nouns and verbs.
Use active voice.
Write for rhythm and meaning.
Write a first draft.
Write first, edit later.
Revisit your theme.
Structure your story.
Show don‘t tell.
Draft and redraft.
Seek feedback.
You‘re at the end of this guide. You might be shaking
your head and ready to throw the damned thing against the
wall because many of the things I‘ve told you not to use, or
not to do, is in the actual typescript of this guide.
Take a look at how many times I used ―There are…‖ at
the beginning of paragraphs or sentences. Take a count of
how many adjectives I‘ve used. The point is, you write the
way you want to write. Let no one take that away from you.
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All this guide does, is make you aware of the
problems/habits you should get rid of. It‘s not a must.
It‘s a suggestion.
You could leave every repeated word, every adjective,
adverb and modifier. An editor will bring them to your
notice. A publisher will scoff.
1.Read
2.Assimilate
3.Learn
Workshops, university courses and college lectures
won‘t change your mind about writing creative fiction. If
you want to write, I urge you to put that first word down on
paper or on your screen.
Go from there.
Put a sign on your door that tells visitors and family
that you‘re going to be unavailable forever. Make sure that
your life is organised before you place that word. I can
assure you, your life will never again be the same.
Skinning snakes is all up to you.
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RESEARCH
http://www.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/preposition_list
.htm
http://learnenglish.britishcouncil.org/en/englishgrammar/clause-phrase-and-sentence/sentence-structure
http://esl.fis.edu/learners/advice/syntax.htm
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grammatical_modifier
https://webapps.towson.edu/ows/dangmod.htm
http://linguapress.com/grammar/quantifiers.htm
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dots_per_inch
http://www.englishtrackers.com/english-blog/adverbswhy-you-shouldnt-use-them-too-often/
http://elies.rediris.es/elies11/cap61.htm
http://writers.stackexchange.com/questions/11057/ficti
on-novels-active-vs-passive-voice
http://www.helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com/literarydevices/
http://users.humboldt.edu/tduckart/Symbolism.htm
Inhouse Style Guide based on Bloomsbury Style
Guide.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metaphor
https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personification
https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simile
http://www.writersdigest.com/online-editor/5-ways-todeal-with-word-repetition
http://examples.yourdictionary.com/metaphorexamples.html#ZRgY8xBgxPkrFTsF.99
Basil van Rooyen, Get Your Book Published in 30
Easy Steps
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Amanda Patterson, Let‘s Write – How to Write A
Novel
Vin Maskell and Gina Perry, Write to Publish
Jennie Hawthorne, Successful Writing – A Beginner‘s
Guide
Jon Atkinson and Beryl Sandwell, Writing for Cash
Excerpts
Into the Team by Rob Damon
The Island Keepers by Kristopher Quentin
A Hard Day‘s Night by Mia Kerick
The Covenant by M. LeAnne Phoenix
To Move Forward by Geoffrey Bauernfeind
Uncommon Valor by Rachel Ravenheart
The classes (communities) of verbs are taken from
Levin‘s (1993) classification of English verbs and its
alternations. Levin (1993: 105-6) lists five classes of
nondirected verbs as susceptible to appear with directional
phrases, namely: verbs of sound emission, Run verbs,
renamed as ‗Agentive Verbs of Manner of Motion‘ in
Levin and Rappaport Hovav (1995: 282), Waltz verbs,
verbs of body-internal motion, and Push/Pull verbs.
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