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DECEMBER 2006
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Vol. 26, Issue 12
www.SoCalDA.org
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The Newsletter of Southern California Debtors Anonymous
Our primary purpose is to stop debting one day at a time and help other compulsive debtors to stop incurring unsured debt.
Southern California Events Calendar
DATE
December 9
December 9
December 23
December 26
December 27
EVENT
SCDA Board Meeting
Intergroup Meeting
SCDA Office Closed, due to holidays
SCDA Office Closed, due to holidays
SCDA Office Re-opens
TIME
9-10:30
11-12:30
LOCATION
SHARE Center, 5521 Grosvenor Avenue, Los Angeles
SHARE Center, 5521 Grosvenor Avenue, Los Angeles
There will be no SCDA Workshop in December.
See you at the January workshop, which promises to be a great one!
The 13th Annual SoCal DA
“How I Learned to Stop Debting
and Love the IRS” Workshop
Letters To The Editor
Afraid of phone calls and letters from the IRS,
the Franchise Tax Board, or other government
agencies? Afraid of or behind on taxes? Owe
back taxes?
Dear Editor:
How come you rejected my article about how un-spiritual
someone was behaving in a meeting? Does the Intergroup know you’re censoring the material you receive
for the Checks and Balances?
—Stifled on the East Side
Saturday, January 13, 2007
1:30-4:30PM Registration begins at 1:15PM
A panel of speakers with strong recovery will
share experience, strength and hope on dealing
with taxes and government agencies, opening
the mail, and other related issues—and explain
how working the spiritual program of DA can
help.
Please bring any tax notices or related mail you
have been afraid to open.
First United Methodist Church
Room 300 (at the top of circular ramp in the
classrooms area)
1008 11th Street, Santa Monica, CA 90403
Directions: 2 Blks. N of Wilshire, on 11th St.
Exit the Santa Monica Freeway (the 10) at
Lincoln and go north. Underground parking is in
the building across 11th Street from the church.
Like something you see? Hate it? Did it help
you? Did it bother you? Let us know. Send your
feedback to [email protected], with “Dear
Editor” in the subject line.
Dear Stifled:
Yes. They do. Thanks for asking.
Dear Editor:
I was offended by the inclusion of specific spiritual
practices from a tradition other than my own in the November issue of Checks and Balances. Shouldn’t every
article in the C&Bs reflect the consensus of the entire
Intergroup, and SCDA itself? I really felt that some of
that material focused on an outside issue.
—Concerned in Santa Monica
$10.00 Suggested Donation
(No one turned away for lack of funds.)
For more info contact Mark L. 310.280.0657
Dear Concerned:
If that were our approach, we wouldn’t be able to
publish any of our members’ contributions, since
they all discuss outside issues in one way or another: they all relate DA to life experiences that are
affected by working the Steps—in a lot of cases, all
areas of one’s life are transformed. These articles
in which people share their personal experiences,
strength and hope are edited as little as possible,
and should be considered a “meeting in print.” Simply a “share.” Perhaps you'd be willing to contribute
practices from your tradition in the future?
Intergroup Reps & Board Members:
By the way—do you know “Stifled”? If you two got
together and fought it out, you could eliminate the
middleman. Just a thought.
The December Intergroup and Board meetings will take place on December 9th, the
second Saturday in that month.
COST
Dear Editor:
I loved the meditation and yoga advice you ran in the
November issue of the Checks and Balances! This was
terrific: you finally went beyond the superficial to give us
some tips on achieving serenity. It was very hard-headed.
Very practical. More, please!
—Jazzed by Karmic Yoga
Dear Jazzed:
Your wish is our command; see page 3.
Dear Editor:
I was upset to see that Statement on the Primary
Purpose from San Diego run on the front page of the
November issue. First of all, that statement was not
approved by the entire Conference—just the General
Service Board, who are supposed to be trust servants
rather than governors. Secondly, in Southern California
we have a lot of meetings devoted to overcoming timedebting, defeating clutter, and integrating self-care into
our lives: it was a slap in the face to see that Statement
in the Checks and Balances, of all places.
The suggestion that clutterers simply go to Clutterers
Anonymous was callous; have you ever been to a CLA
meeting? That fellowship has not grown to the point that
it’s useful to those who are too overwhelmed by their
stuff to find their bills, much less pay them.
—Finally Found My Computer
Dear Found:
Congratulations on clearing a path to your machine! The editorial staff of Checks and Balances
(both of us) has absolutely no opinion on the
usefulness of that Statement. We ran it at the
suggestion of multiple Intergroup representatives,
who felt that printing it in a spirit of “take what
you want, and leave the rest” would generate
discussion among Southern California debtors.
Apparently, they were right about that.
Survey 2: DA’s Primary Purpose
From the DA General Service Office (the international body that governs DA)
Your answers on this survey will help us to understand our current
attitudes and beliefs about our program’s primary purpose.
1. How long have you refrained from incurring unsecured debt?
Preparatory Reading:
Alcoholics Anonymous (the “Big Book”) Chapt. 7
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step XII
2. What city/area do you live in?
Step 12 is essential to one’s continued solvency.
There are three parts involved in working this step:
3. What city/area do you work in?
A. Having a “spiritual awakening” as a result of working the Steps.
4. What is your home meeting? (optional)
Agree
Disagree
5. Please answer the following questions, using
1 as DISAGREE COMPLETELY, and
5 to designate AGREE COMPLETELY.
1 2 3 4 5
Paying bills late is debting.
1 2 3 4 5
Using a credit card is not debting if I pay the bill each
1 2 3 4 5
month.
1 2 3
Student loans are not debting; they are an investment in 1 2 3 4 51
my future.
2 3 4 5
Vision work is an important part of my DA program.
1 2 3 4 51
The purpose of DA is to help people live prosperously.
1 2 3 4 51
Compulsive spending and underearning should not be 1 2 3 4 51
part of the DA program.
2 3 4 5
DA does not do a good job of addressing the needs of
1 2 3 4 51
compulsive spenders.
2 3 4 5
DA should focus less on debting and more on prosperity. 1 2 3 4 5
The backbone of my DA recovery program is the Steps.
1 2 3 4 5
The Tools are more important to my recovery right now 1 2 3 4 51
than the Steps.
2 3 4 5
DA should focus on its primary purpose, “Our primary
1 2 3 4 51
purpose is to stop debting one day at a time and to help
2 3 4
other compulsive debtors to stop incurring unsecured
51 2 3
debt,” as stated in the Preamble.
4 5
There is too much emphasis on Visions in DA, and not
1 2 3 4 51
enough on the Steps.
2 3 4 5
DA should focus more on time-related issues.
1 2 3 4 5
a. Debting to me means “incurring unsecured debt.”
b.
c.
d.
e.
f.
g.
h.
i.
j.
k.
l.
m.
n.
Does the statement in the Preamble reflect what you believe to be DA’s
primary purpose? (“Our primary purpose is to stop debting one day at a
time and to help other compulsive debtors to stop incurring unsecured
debt.”)
_____ Yes
_____ No
_____ Not Sure
If you checked No or Not Sure, how would you revise DA’s primary purpose? (Please write down any words or phrases that believe would better
reflect DA’s primary purpose for you. Attach a piece of paper if necessary.)
Please return this to Brad B., the GSR for Monday Night’s Pasadena BDA
Meeting. Hand it to Brad directly, or mail it to:
Brad B.
c/o Office Manager
SoCal DA
5521 Grosvenor Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90066
2
STEP TWELVE
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to
compulsive debtors, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
B. Practicing these principles in all your affairs:
7. humility;
1. acceptance;
8. sincerity;
2. hope;
9. action;
3. faith;
10. vigilance;
4. honesty;
11. spirituality;
5. courage;
12. service.
6. willingness;
C. Being of service, such as: sharing your program with others, sponsoring, participating
in pressure meetings, helping set-up at meetings, etc.
It is important to encourage your Sponsee to be of service in ways that are most beneficial
to him/her, as well as to others; rather than attempting to be of service in ways that may
not be appropriate, i.e., sponsoring before working the steps, or while still incurring debt,
etc.
“We are problem people who have found a way up and out, and who wish to share
our knowledge of that way with all who ran use it. For it is only by accepting and
solving our problems that we can begin to get right with ourselves and with the
world about us, and with Him who presides over us all.”
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 125
(Excerpted from the SCDA “Sponsor Booklet”)
Checks and Balances Editorial Guidelines
Submissions should share your experience, strength, and hope. In the year 2006 we concentrated on the Twelve Steps, and tended to solicit material that was most consistent with the
Step correlating with the month number (Step One for January, and so forth).
In 2007, we will be roughly following the Promises, and would love material that reflects the
Promise that corresponds with the month number. For January: “1. Where once we felt despair,
we will experience a newfound hope.”
But please don’t feel restricted by this: we love to run any material that reflects your growth
in DA and is consistent with the Twelve Traditions. We suggest that you write at least three
paragraphs; 500-600 words is a good length. (MS Word [which we don’t endorse] will give you
a word count if you highlight your text, and look under “Tools” on the menu.)
We also accept short quotations, useful sayings, koans, jokes and one- or two-sentence
insights for the “Bulletin Board.” This is also a great place to look for action partners and
otherwise reach out to the SoCal DA community.
Under-earner's Corner:
Two members of a country club, one a doctor, the other a lawyer,
were having dinner in the lounge overlooking the golf course.
Midway through the meal, a lady who was a patient of the doctor,
left her table and came over to the doctor.
“I’m sorry to interrupt your dinner, Doctor,” said the woman, “but
I’ve had a terrible headache all day.”
“Well,” said the doctor, “I can’t really say what the problem is
offhand, but you should go home, take a couple of aspirin, and go to
bed. If it isn’t gone in the morning, call my office for an appointment.”
The woman thanked him and went back to her table. The doctor
turned to his friend, the lawyer, and said, “Do you think I should
send her a bill?”
“No,” said the lawyer.
The next day, a courier brought a bill to the doctor from the
lawyer.
Meditation As Mediation
By Arthur K.
“When you talk to God, that’s prayer. When you listen to God, that’s
meditation. When God talks to you, that’s schizophrenia.”
Meditation and prayer are an integral part of a spiritual lifestyle; at the
very least they can help you feel less like you’re losing your mind when
life’s demands become overwhelming. Obviously, I’m a strong proponent of this practice in its various forms—silent meditation, meditation
that involves chanting, and—my favorite—meditation in motion (e.g.,
T’ai Chi, which I’ll address in a future article). But here are a few tips to
get you started, and take you past the rough patches. My most important piece of advice: Keep trying. Approach the project from different
angles. Peace is worth pursuing.
One of the toughest issues in any spiritual practice is fighting one’s emotions. I find this gets more pronounced the longer it’s been since I last
made time to reach out. The emotional centers of our lives and related
character defects/sins (sins are things that cut us off from God) cause
us to re-act to these feelings. For instance, at the end of last month my
lease renewal came up, and fear of financial insecurity made me squirm
and simmer throughout my morning meditation. But sticking with it
helped me to cope.
And then, there is the issue of internal chatter: many of us, when we first
sit down to meditate, suddenly become aware of the “monkey mind”—
that restless, crazy beast that bounces around between our ears when
we try to focus. An initial step to help calm and quiet this creature is using a word with spiritual significance to you. It could simply be “God,”
repeated over and over. This helps give that monkey mind something
to focus on, and eventually it begins to work with you instead of against
you. You can do this out loud, or silently.
It’s said that extroverted people often have a more rewarding experience during meditation because they reach out to God during the process and have an encounter with Him/Her, whereas more introverted
types may find themselves caught up in the monkey mind and unable
to make that connection. The solution? Try to make an inward effort to
connect with God during meditation, whatever form that encounter
may take. Sometimes my outreach is hostile; I’ve come to understand
that God can take it. Later on, our relationship is such that we kiss and
make up. (I’m beginning to like this idea of God as a woman.)
Sometimes the connection with the Higher Power feels like it’s absent,
despite our attempts to reach out. It’s like we pick up the phone, and
no one is there. This might be a mental trick, or it could be a dry day,
spiritually speaking. In case it’s the latter, remember that prayer and
meditation are like dealing with Ma Bell: the silence we hear on the line
always indicates a problem with our own equipment; we aren’t ready to
listen yet. Tomorrow, it will be different.
Quiet your mind. Reach out. Pick up the cosmic phone, and make that
Big Outreach Call.
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Surrender and the Twelfth Step
By Linda J.C.
“Having had a spiritual awakening, we tried to carry this message to
others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”
Note that the text says “a Spiritual Awakening— not “the spiritual
awakening.” We generally have more than one throughout the
course of our recovery!
Tomorrow it will be over three months that I will have been living
a crisis-free, drama-free life. Even though I lost a job and had other
disappointments, I moved through them in a way that I can only
attribute to grace. Not every day was great, but I just kept moving
forward, instead of “playing dead,” which was the norm for me. I
haven’t any NSFs, and I’ve kept at least $5.00 in the bank. I’ve had
no raging emergencies, either (these have also been the norm for
me).
For months now, as the Promises have been read, I have realized that
every promise has come true for me except for the one about living a
prosperous life, and I firmly believe that will happen. I have had the
privilege of living “unencumbered by fear, worry, or resentment.” I
even joked that global-warming is sure to stop because if this miracle
has happened to me, then anything is possible!
I owe these last few weeks of serenity and grace to my recent surrender, and I credit this surrender to my incredible sponsors, my
PRG people, and the other phenomenal program people that I
surround myself with. I have actually been listening to them and
taking the radical contrary actions that I resisted before. This must be
“the peace that passeth all understanding.” I feel I am being carried
through the turbulence around me.
Surrendering to the following practices has brought me a new
peace:
• I started on Step One again, for the third time in the past two years.
This after 14 years in the Program.
• Every day I read pp. 86-88 in the “Big Book,” Alcoholics Anonymous.
• I pray morning and night ”for God’s will for me, and the power to
carry that out.”
• I meditate every morning.
• Tenth step work is important to me: I do an inventory every night.
• I stay in close touch with my sponsors and PRG people.
• I don’t just write my numbers down; I actually track them!
• Every day, I take one loving action for myself.
• I’m attending Al-Anon and ACOA again.
• The “complaint challenge”: I’m trying to get through 21 days
without complaining. (Of course I haven’t succeeded, but I keep
trying!)
• My commitment to regular PRGs has grown.
• I keep repeating, “thank you, God, for everything; I have no complaints!” I apply this to everything: losing a job, having nearly no
money, dealing with difficult creditors, and so forth. The “bad” and
the “good.”
• Affirmations, which I used to hate, are now an important part of my
program.
It took me fourteen and a half years to be willing, and surrendered,
enough to take these actions. I have never lived a life wherein things
felt this peaceful, secure and even. I desire and choose to do this
work, and it feels a lot better than my previous approach of “self-will
run riot.” So I celebrate 15 years in DA being amazed before I am
even a third of the way through!
Thank you God—and thank you, DA.
BDA Corner
If we truly know the worth of our services, we can offer
them to people and not care at all whether they are
interested in doing business. It isn’t a process of setting
oneself up for rejection; it’s simply throwing out one
more line in order to catch a lot of fish.
3