RECOGNISING AND SUPPORTING THE
BIRTH CHILDREN OF FOSTER
CARERS IN THE FOSTERING
PROCESS: MESSAGES, CHALLENGES
AND OPPORTUNITIES
Dr Dave Williams & Sarah O’ Donohoe
WELCOME

Introductions

Agreed Ground Rules

Confidentiality

Language and terms used in the workshop

Goals of Workshop
2
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO HEAR THE VOICES OF
BIRTH CHILDREN IN FOSTER FAMILIES
Existing Literature recognises the contribution
made by birth children to the fostering task,
however “the voices of biological children seem to
be muffled if not absent from the literature
addressing foster care” (Younes and Harp, 2007:
25).
 Provides an evidence base for the development of
future practice, policy and research development
(Hojer, Sebba & Luke, 2013).

3
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO HEAR THE VOICES OF
BIRTH CHILDREN IN FOSTER FAMILIES



Birth Children often provide an alternative and
neutral view on the impact of fostering on their
families (Williams, 2016)
Connection between foster care placement
breakdown and the experiences of birth children
of foster carers (Quinton et al., 1998; Kalland &
Sinkkonnen, 2001; Briggs & Broadhurst, 2005).
Increased recognition of the contribution of birth
children to successful placements (Hojer, 2007;
Thompson & McPherson, 2011).
4
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO HEAR THE VOICES OF
BIRTH CHILDREN IN FOSTER FAMILIES


Concern of foster carers of the effects of fostering
on their own children (Poland & Groze, 1993,
Hojer et al., 2013).
Recognition of the rights of all children in foster
families (Irwin, 2005)
5
MESSAGES FROM RESEARCH AND LITERATURE:
POSITIVES (HOJER ET AL., 2013)

Appreciating family and life situations

Making friends and companionship


Feeling part of a caring team??? (Sutton & Stack,
2013)
Becoming more caring non-judgmental and
compassionate (Hojer & Nordenfors, 2006; Twigg
& Swan, 2007).
6
MESSAGES FROM RESEARCH AND
LITERATURE: POSITIVES



Foster carers appreciated their children
becoming more empathetic of people in difficult
life circumstances and world wise (Hojer,
2001;Younes & Harp, 2007).
Pride in contributing to successful placements for
children (Sutton & Stack, 2013).
Learn to take responsibility
7
MESSAGES FROM RESEARCH AND
LITERATURE: CHALLENGES
Positives of Fostering comes at a cost which if managed
better can improve birth children’s experiences of
fostering.



Sharing possessions and materials: sharing of toys,
possessions difficult particularly for younger children
(Part, 1993; Pugh, 1996)
Loss of parental time and attention: demands of
fostering and focus on the foster child (Watson &
Jones, 2002; Irwin, 2005)
Loss of innocence: exposure to difficult issues such as
addiction, abuse, challenging behaviours
8
CHALLENGES


As identified by Pugh (1996: 37); ‘sharing day to
day family life with a child who has undergone
profoundly disturbing experiences allows children
to witness things that their non-fostering peers
may not have access to under normal family
conditions’.
Expectations that because birth children come
from secure homes to be skilled and resilient to
respond to challenges of fostering
9
MESSAGES FROM RESEARCH AND
LITERATURE: CHALLENGES


Grief and Loss following placement endings: one
of the most difficult times for birth children when
foster children depart. Like a bereavement for
some families. Raises mixed emotions for birth
children (Nuske, 2010)
Dealing with challenging behaviour: witnessing
challenging behaviours and often birth children
struggle with witnessing the behaviours targeted
towards their parents (Twigg & Swan, 2007).
Birth children find it difficult to understand
challenging behaviours (Swan, 2002; Hojer,
2007). Request for all children to be treated the
same (Williams, 2015)
10
MESSAGES FROM RESEARCH AND
LITERATURE: CHALLENGES



Sense of burden and responsibility (finding the
balance of recognising the contribution of birth
children without overburdening them, Williams,
2016)
Parents’ expectations: birth children expected to be
role models and supportive of foster children. Fear of
disappointing parents and not living up to
expectations (Hojer & Nordenfohrs, 2004, 2006).
Motivations for fostering (Williams, 2015).
Easing the burden on parents: Provide with practical
and also emotional support to parents in relation to
challenging issues, disclosures and allegations
(Williams, 2016)
11
MESSAGES FROM RESEARCH AND
LITERATURE: CHALLENGES


Confidentiality and Keeping Secrets:
- secrets from foster siblings
- information from parents/social
workers to be kept from foster siblings
- information about foster children
kept from friends
(Hojer& Nordenfohrs, 2004, 2006)
Disclosures and Allegations
12
ADVICE TO FOSTER CARERS FROM BIRTH
CHILDREN (AGED 11-14 YEARS)
Do things without foster children.
 Be fair!
 Don’t forget your “old family”.
 Don’t make your children be friends with foster
children.
 Be stricter with foster children.
 Punish foster children when they do bad things.
 Be aware that foster children are lying, don’t
accuse your own children.
 Don’t forget your own children!
(Hojer & Nordenfors, 2006: 277)

13
ADVICE TO FOSTER CARERS FROM BIRTH
CHILDREN (AGED 11-14 YEARS)
Treat your own children and foster children the
same.
 Be more patient.
 Spend protected time with your own children.
 Be nice to yourselves – you deserve it.
 Be stricter.
 Don’t be so stressed.
 Let us be on our own.
(Hojer & Nordenfors, 2006: 277)

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LIMITATIONS OF STUDY (WILLIAMS, 2016)

Small number of participants, not generalisable
to wider population

All participant’s families fostered with HSE

Age of participants

All participants from a homogenous group settled
white Irish families
However……..
15
THE OVERALL FOSTERING EXPERIENCE
“Through fostering I got a very
different view of the world. It opened
my eyes up to a world I would have
never seen. I think it was a beneficial
education and I am a more open
minded person because of it and I
am glad I am the person I am”.
“Overall fostering has been a
positive and it has helped make
me who I am, a caring,
“I think overall
thoughtful person so for that I
fostering has been
am thankful”.
positive. A lot of the
traits I have, I’m
generous, caring,
empathetic, patient;
are definitely due to
fostering”.
16
ADVICE TO FOSTER CARERS FROM BIRTH
CHILDREN AS ADULTS
Treat everyone the same
 Keep protected time for your own children

“I don’t know because I could never see myself
fostering. I never really thought about it.
Maybe involve your own kids and let them have
a say. Let them sit in on meetings or parts of
meetings when their old enough. Don’t make
them feel excluded. Little things like that
would make a big difference”.
“Just make sure the bc are getting to spend
time with their parents because they are
your parents. Like one time social workers
arranged a meeting on the day of my debs
and could not move it and so not to have
17
your family at your debs was hard”.
ADVICE TO FOSTER CARERS FROM BIRTH
CHILDREN AS ADULTS
Take some time to recuperate after difficult
placements
 Take some time after a foster child has departed
to allow the family grieve where necessary

“I suppose I know with a lot of foster
families there would be kids where there’s
a divide I don’t think that’s nice for the
foster kids and its’ definitely not teaching
the bc to care or share. I think that is one
good thing out of fostering, you do learn to
care and share and think about others”
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ADVICE TO FOSTER CARERS FROM BIRTH
CHILDREN AS ADULTS

Be conscious of linking in with birth children
throughout the foster care journey not just
through assessment (Williams, 2016)
“The foster children
often get a lot of
time. So I definitely
would say make
sure to make time
for your own kids”.
19
ADVICE TO FOSTER CARERS FROM BIRTH
CHILDREN AS ADULTS



Foster carers should be mindful of their
motivations for fostering and how this influences
their own children
Birth children may not talk about feelings
related to fostering as fearful of not wanting to
placing further stress or burden on them
Awareness of the grief and loss experienced by
birth children when foster siblings depart. Also
mixed feelings of relief, happiness, sadness and
guilt.
20
ADVICE TO SOCIAL WORKERS/FOSTERING
AGENCIES FROM BIRTH CHILDREN AS ADULTS
Recognise the contribution of birth children to
their family’s involvement in fostering
 Birth children conscious of difficulties for social
workers e.g high caseloads, time limitations
 Recognition need to be resource intensive e.g
remembering names, checking in

“Our family had a link worker. I
found her to be really helpful and
when we first started she would
come over and talk and I used to
look forward to talking to her.
Then it got less and less as time
went on, I didn’t need it as much”.
“It wouldn’t have been that hard,
looking back now, to include us
all by even saying hello and
acknowledging you were in the
home but with a lot of the social
workers I was never
acknowledged, like it wasn’t my
house it was the foster child’s
house”
21
ADVICE TO SOCIAL WORKERS/FOSTERING
AGENCIES FROM BIRTH CHILDREN AS ADULTS
“Two social workers really stood out
as good because, they would always
have a chat with you and ask how’s
it going? Even if they saw you down
the street they would say hello. I can
even remember their names now”.
Birth children may have valuable knowledge
about foster children
 Be aware of the impact of grief, loss and difficult
placements on foster families who need time to
recuperate or mourn

22
ADVICE TO SOCIAL WORKERS/FOSTERING
AGENCIES FROM BIRTH CHILDREN AS ADULTS


Importance of adults explaining to children the reasons
why foster children are leaving to prevent feelings of guilt
and blame
Where possible support contact between birth children and
foster children
“You can’t foster and not get
emotionally involved. You can’t
foster and not get attached to
people living in your house; you’re
going to love them. You’re going
to be upset when they leave… it’s
like someone dying”.
23
ADVICE TO SOCIAL WORKERS/FOSTERING
AGENCIES FROM BIRTH CHILDREN AS ADULTS
Birth children in some cases may need someone
to talk to outside of their family as reluctant to
place burden on their parents due to business of
fostering
 Finding the balance between recognising and
consulting but also not overburdening

I think there is a delicate line because I’m not
promoting that young people become professional
foster carers. But the needs and opinions of
children who foster should be on the radar of
professionals and it should be emphasised to the
professionals
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