To help young people evaluate the impact and influence of their friends on their decisions and their future.
Student Guides, Bible Quiz questions, two eggs.
Examination
In 2 Timothy 1:13-18 Paul refers to friends. He was a good friend
to Timothy, but he also refers to those who had befriended him.
We can learn much about what it means to be a friend by observing
Paul, a true friend.
Illustration
(Show students two eggs.) I hold in my hand two eggs. One of them, presumably, is a good egg. But the other has been around for awhile, it has
been left out of the refrigerator. Almost certainly it is a bad egg. How do I
tell which is which? (Get responses, such as the color of the shell, the smell,
etc. Then explain.) Really, there is no way to tell which egg is the bad egg
until it is cracked open. Stress will reveal what is inside.
Interactive Idea
“Good Egg to the Bad Egg”
Ask a student his/her feelings about one of their friends to see if
they are a “good egg” or a “bad egg.” Follow up by asking
whether their friend is a good or a bad example. What kind of
example is the student in their friends‟ lives?
Application
We are going to examine the qualities of true friends, those who
stay with us under stress, proving that they were friends worth having.
I. GOOD FRIENDS GIVE HOPE (2 Timothy 1:13-14)
A. Because Their Example is Worth Following (2 Timothy 1:13)
Examination
Paul told Timothy, “What you heard from me, keep as the pattern
of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus.” Paul must
Copyright © Global Youth Ministry. 2011. All rights reserved. Permission is
granted for reproduction only for the study of Global Youth Ministry curriculum by
a licensed (purchasing) church. No online or other duplication is permitted.
1
have had a lot of confidence to have said that to Timothy. The fact
is, Paul was advanced beyond Timothy in his walk with Jesus. Paul
was a worthy friend because he was a role model whom Timothy
had to look up to.
But there were others who were not good friends to Tim because of
their:
1. Wrong Actions: Paul gave very clear directions to the early
churches about whom they should befriend...even inside the
church! To the Corinthians he wrote, in 1 Cor. 5:9-11, “I have
written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral
people—not at all meaning the people of this world who are
immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case
you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing you
that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a
brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a
slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not
even eat.” Paul is warning believers not to “hang out” with people who claim to be believers but whose actions are wrong.
2. Wrong Attitudes: However, Paul goes further: to the Thessalonians he wrote, in 2 Thessalonians 3:6, “In the name of the
Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers, to keep away
from every brother who is idle and does not live according to
the teaching you received from us.” In this passage Paul tells us
not to hang out with people who are passive in their faith. In
other words, their actions may not be wrong, but their attitude
is!
Illustration
If you found a friend who had fallen into a deep pit and couldn’t get out of
it would you jump in the pit with him or try to get help to lift him out of it?
Good friends don’t jump in the pit with us, they pull us up and out of the
pit!
Application
Just because a person claims to be a believer or is part of the youth
group is not an automatic indicator that that person is a good
friend! Sometimes we might prefer to surround ourselves with people who are just like us because then we can be lazy, but Paul is
advocating that we have friends that are worth following because
they inspire us to grow.
B. Because Their Advice is Worth Hearing (2 Timothy 1:13)
Examination
Paul told Timothy, “What you heard from me, keep as the pattern
of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus.” Obviously,
Paul was not hesitant to speak up when the occasion required it. In
fact, his letter to Timothy is a letter which addresses Tim’s timidity. Paul was a friend to Timothy who would lead him in the right
direction. He would not settle for less than Timothy’s best.
In 1 Corinthians 15, Paul addressed the Corinthians about some
fellows who were teaching that there was no resurrection from the
dead. They were directing people the wrong way. He told the Corinthians to avoid those leaders altogether. In fact, in verse 33, Paul
Copyright © Global Youth Ministry. 2011. All rights reserved. Permission is
granted for reproduction only for the study of Global Youth Ministry curriculum by
a licensed (purchasing) church. No online or other duplication is permitted.
2
wrote, “Do not be misled: „bad company corrupts good character.’”
Illustration
An old Jewish proverb says, “A friend is one who warns you.”
Application
Good friends give good advice, sound counsel. They will not cover
up the truth just because they want your friendship at any cost.
They want to be a friend not just have a friend. Being a good friend
will often mean that we will have to speak up about things we observe which are not the best in those we love. Loyalty does NOT
mean silence! Instead, it means that we will speak up, giving our
friends the truth about their situation, even when it hurts. Ephesians
4:15 characterizes us a people who “speak truth in love.” Speaking
means not remaining silent when we see error. That is real loyalty,
true friendship.
Illustration
It is easily possible to follow the wrong role model. President Coolidge once
invited some friends from Vermont to dine at the White House. Concerned
about their table manners, they decided to mimic their host’s actions.
When coffee was served, Coolidge poured his into the saucer. They followed
suite. The President added sugar and cream. So did they. Then Coolidge
leaned over and placed his saucer on the floor for the cat. Oops.
Application
It is both easier and less confrontational to just stand by and watch
the behaviors of our friends who are doing wrong. Are you the kind
of friend who speaks up when you see your buddies doing something that is less than their best? Or do you remain silent, standing
by to watch them sink into even further error? What kind of friend
is that?
C. Because Their Best Friend is Worth Knowing (2 Timothy
1:13)
Examination
Paul concluded verse 13 with, “...with faith and love in Christ Jesus.” Paul was himself focused upon faith and love in Jesus. He
encouraged Timothy to follow that pattern, as well. The only thing
that mattered to Paul was his relationship with Jesus. He was to be
trusted because he pointed to a friend who was eminently trustworthy, Jesus!
Interactive Idea
“Friends Relationships”
Ask a students to get a sheet of paper. Tell them to write down
their top 3 qualities they think a friend should have. Then, ask
them if every one of their friends match the qualities they wrote
down.
Illustration
Someone has said, “If you meet me and then forget me you haven’t lost
much. But if you meet Jesus and forget Him, you have lost everything.”
Application
Do you point others to Jesus by your life? He is the only friend
who can truly give them hope.
D. Because Their Confidence in Us is Worth Realizing(2 Timothy 1:14)
Copyright © Global Youth Ministry. 2011. All rights reserved. Permission is
granted for reproduction only for the study of Global Youth Ministry curriculum by
a licensed (purchasing) church. No online or other duplication is permitted.
3
Examination
Paul continued, “Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you
— guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.” Paul
saw the good in his young friend Timothy.
Illustration
William Arthur Ward once wrote, “Flatter me, and I may not believe you.
Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you.
Encourage me, and I will not forget you.” Plutarch once said, “Even a nod
from a person who is esteemed is of more force than a thousand arguments
or studied sentences from others."
Application
Do you see and point out the good in your friends? Are they encouraged to “guard the good deposit” in them, their purpose in life
given by the Spirit?
II. GOOD FRIENDS GIVE HELP (2 Timothy 1:15-18)
A. When the Crowd Around You is Fickle (2 Timothy 1:15)
Examination
Good friends give us hope to believe in ourselves through faith and
love in Jesus. But they do more. They also help us when we are
down. But this is not what Phygelus and Hermoneges did for Paul
in verse 15! Everyone, even these two who had apparently been
Paul’s friends, abandoned Paul when the chips were down. In fact,
they were way down, because Paul had been imprisoned (by Nero)
and put in a dungeon. How much further down could a person get?
Illustration
Bits and Pieces, July 1991 wrote about a British publication that once offered a prize for the best definition of a friend. Among the thousands of answers received were the following: “One who multiplies joys, divides grief,
and whose honesty is inviolable.” And, “A watch that beats true for all time
and never runs down.” The winning definition read: “A friend is the one
who comes in when the whole world has gone out.”
Application
Though loyalty does not include overlooking error, it does mean
standing with friends to help them when they are down.
B. When The Cost of Friendship is Steep (2 Timothy 1:16-18)
Examination
In verses 16-18, Paul turned his attention to his friend Onesiphorus,
who was a source of encouragement to him when he was down.
“May the Lord show mercy to the household of Onesiphorus, because he often refreshed me….” This person was truly a friend because he braved the risks inherent in seeking a prisoner of the state
who had been spirited away in a dark dungeon. Who knew whether
Nero might just want to imprison Onesiphorus as well? But the
Word says that this man “...was not ashamed of my chains. On the
contrary, when he was in Rome, he searched hard for me until he
found me.” Now that is a true friend. What friends stand by to help
you at risk to their own reputation? Remember, Paul did not say
that these two had abandoned Christ, only Christ’s. These people
were “Christian” friends. But they were not godly friends.
Illustration
Jackie Robinson was the first black to play major league baseball. Breaking
baseball’s color barrier, he faced jeering crowds in every stadium. While
Copyright © Global Youth Ministry. 2011. All rights reserved. Permission is
granted for reproduction only for the study of Global Youth Ministry curriculum by
a licensed (purchasing) church. No online or other duplication is permitted.
4
playing one day in his home stadium in Brooklyn, he committed an error.
The fans began to ridicule him. He stood at second base, humiliated, while
the fans jeered. Then, shortstop Pee Wee Reese came over and stood next to
him. He put his arm around Jackie Robinson and faced the crowd. The fans
grew quiet. Robinson later said that arm around his shoulder saved his career.
Application
Just as Onisiphorus took time and trouble at great risk to find Paul
and bring him “a breath of fresh air” in his stale dungeon, so
should we assist our friends when they are down. But we should
know that there will probably be a price.
Illustration
Many years ago, a young man who worked as a volunteer at Stanford Hospital became acquainted with a young girl named Liza. She was suffering
from a disease and needed a blood transfusion from her five-year-old
brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the
situation to her little brother, and asked the boy if he would be willing to
give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save Liza."
As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled,
seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his
smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice,
"Will I start to die right away?" Being young, the boy had misunderstood
the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give her all his blood.
C. When the Only Return is Prayer (2 Timothy 1:18)
Examination
Onisiphorus did much for Paul, but Paul could do nothing in return
for his friend...except for one thing: Paul could pray for him. Paul
prayed for his friend, “May the Lord grant that he will find mercy
from the Lord on that day! You know very well in how many ways
he helped me in Ephesus.” It is pretty amazing that Paul could even
think to pray for others when he was in such dire need of prayer
himself. But pray he did. Paul prayed that God would grant him
mercy from God. And Oni? He stuck with Paul, but not for what
Paul could do for him. Now that is true friendship!
Application
What about you? Even when you have difficulties of your own, do
you pray for your friends in their need?
Illustration
There is a story about three men who were stranded on an island together
in the Pacific. They were marooned in an existence very different from their
former lives. Months later as they walked along the shore, they found an
ancient lantern. One man picked it up. As he began to rub it and clean it, a
genie popped out and said, "Well, since you have been good enough to release me, I will give each of you one wish.” The first man said, "Great! I'm
a cattleman from Wyoming and I wish I were back on my ranch."
Poof! He was back on his ranch. The second man chimed in: "I'm a stockbroker from New York, and I wish that I were back in Manhattan." Poof!
He was back in Manhattan as if he had never left. The third person was a
different story. He had learned to enjoy island life and wanted to stay where
he was. He said, "Well, I like it here. I just wish my two friends were back."
Poof! Back came the two friends.
Copyright © Global Youth Ministry. 2011. All rights reserved. Permission is
granted for reproduction only for the study of Global Youth Ministry curriculum by
a licensed (purchasing) church. No online or other duplication is permitted.
5
Application
When determining with whom we should we befriend, we should
consider the fact that not all our friends in the youth group are actually good friends to us. Though they may not abandon Christ, they
may be prone to abandon us when we draw too close to Christ and
His suffering.
Copyright © Global Youth Ministry. 2011. All rights reserved. Permission is
granted for reproduction only for the study of Global Youth Ministry curriculum by
a licensed (purchasing) church. No online or other duplication is permitted.
6