How to avoid being eaten by a lion or hyena
This week we had a visitor from Uganda, Africa, in our physical education classes. His name was Okello
Sam and he was—let me just say—fantastic. Sam is Chairman of the Board of Directors for a small
school near Entebbe, which is located near the Southern border of Lake Victoria. Sam also was an actor
in the famous movie, The Last King of Scotland, starring Forest Whitaker and helped create the
choreography for the film. He said Forest is a “very nice man” and they are working on doing another
film project together.
“Who can tell me where Uganda is?” Sam asked a group of Central eighth graders. A student raised his
hand. “Africa,” the boy proudly replied. “Who can tell me the name of the large lake in Uganda?” Sam
queried again. “Lake Victoria,” another student shouted out. Sam looked surprised. (When I had picked
Sam up earlier that morning we had a debate as to whether or not Central students would know the
location of Uganda and something about the African nation.) “Where did you learn this?” Sam asked.
“In Geography class,” shouted out a student.
Sam then had everyone form a large circle and taught them a dance from Africa using various animals
found in Uganda. “Swing your head back and forth like this,” said Sam, mimicking an elephant swinging
its trunk. Within a second, sixty heads were bobbing back and forth. Before the dance was over, the
students had jumped up and down, slithered sideways, flapped their arms like a bird, gone down on all
their hands and knees, and rhythmically jerked their legs in off-beat fashion. (He did this will all physical
education classes at Central.) While Sam taught the students their dance maneuvers, he periodically
went around the circle giving each student a high-five.
Sam then rotated the students behind a set of drums he had brought with him and taught them to
mimic a rhythm he taught them. [Note: In the history of civilization no middle school kid has ever
turned down an opportunity to pound on a drum and this day was no exception.]
Sam also told the students a little about life in Uganda. Of course, the kids were interested in how many
times he had been attacked by lions. They were disappointed to discover Sam had never been set upon
by marauding lions. Sam did, however, tell them what Ugandans do when they encounter a wild lion—
they make themselves as big as possible and look at the lion while slowly backing up. [Note to self: the
worst thing you can do is turn and run—the lion will think you are a gazelle.] As a treat, he also told the
students how to avoid being attacked by hyenas—which is a possibility if you live near Lake Victoria. He
told the students the key is to walk with exaggerated leg and arm motions so you look strong and
powerful to the animals. Apparently, it is a bad idea to act wounded or sickly when near a pack of
hyenas. Ask your son or daughter for a demonstration. I don’t think it will take much prodding on your
part.
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I stopped into Shane Cody’s classroom today. They were discussing quadratic equations and Shane
completed a short review of the forms of quadratic equations. “What are the forms of the quadratic
equations?” Shane asked. Slowly the forms vertical, factored, and general were drawn out of the
students. “If your neighbor gets too excited about this, tell them to calm down,” Shane suggested to the
students in a hushed voice. The kids giggled. I hung around long enough to learn that the square roots of
negative numbers are not real numbers and then left the classroom. A short while later, while retrieving
my voice messages, I discovered I had a message from Mr. Cody’s class. Apparently they were not
happy that I left the classroom before they had sung their equation song. Consequently, they called me
up and sang it for me. The sopranos were a little off so I couldn’t quite understand all of their song, with
its sing-song calculations, but “x plus or minus the square root” came through quite strong and they
were even in tune. It is the first singing voice message I have received in quite some time.
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Don’t be Helicopter Pilot: Keep the helicopter in the hanger
This week, a Central parent gave me an article about the dangers of being a “helicopter parent” and
asked me what I think. Here is what I think about “helicopter parents.”
First of all, what is a “helicopter parent?” The term, “helicopter parent” is increasingly being used in the
media to describe parents who are overly protective and aggressive in ensuring that nothing bad
happens to their child.
What are examples of being a “helicopter parent?” A “helicopter parent” swoops in and argues with
teachers about the grades their child has received, convinced the teacher doesn’t like their child and has
arbitrarily and capriciously punished their child by withholding points on an assignment or project. A
“helicopter parent” flies in aggressively to protect their child when the principal or teacher calls them up
to inform them their child is misbehaving in the classroom. A “helicopter parent” screams at the coach,
believing the good-for-nothing-coach has cut their son or daughter from the team because of favoritism
shown to another parent or athlete. A “helicopter parent” will cajole, threaten, and intimidate almost
anyone to get their way and remove any potential harm or obstacle for their child.
Being a “helicopter parent” almost always backfires in the long run. The reality is that middle school
kids need help, guidance, and advice, not pampering, indulgence, false praise, and excessive protection
from all dangers. If you always intercede for your child in every instance you believe your child has been
“wronged,” the danger is that your child will learn that you will always “save them” and rush in like
Smokey the Bear and put out the forest fire. The reality is if there is a fire, the chances are good your
child helped start it themselves. Consequently, they will need to learn to work and put out their own
forest fires.
What happens to middle school children of “helicopter parents?” It’s mostly all bad. Children of
“helicopter parents” rarely believe they have contributed to the problem or that they are part of the
solution. Children of “helicopter parents” learn they can manipulate their piloting mother or father into
doing something aggressive in their favor. Children of “helicopter parents” learn to be helpless learners,
because they are so used to their parents flying into the arena of combat for them, even when no such
battle exists. They don’t learn how to solve problems for themselves and they learn that someone else is
usually at fault when things don’t go their way.
Of course, “helicopter parents” rarely see themselves as part of the problem. For them, the problems
reside in someone else, not the manner in which their child has handled the situation. Someone else is
always to blame and someone else must always pay the price. Unfortunately, this rarely teaches the
middle school child the importance of responsibility and being part of the solution.
Give your child advice and help. They need both. But be slow to rush into the pilot’s seat and push the
throttle forward to “save the day.” Teach your child how to advocate for themselves and solve their own
problems. There are times when your middle school child will need your direct interventions, but those
occasions should be few and far between.
Do your middle school child a huge favor and help them learn how to be a responsible and problemsolving kid.
Keep the helicopter in the hanger for unique situations where it is really needed.