5/13/2015
Dr. Kristin Witte
Rousseau (in Emile) said “Like childhood,
adulthood was a calm sea, but the passage
between the two periods is a stormy one.”
(quote Pastoral Care from Renewing the Vision)
“A ministry of compassionate presence that
enables healing and growth to take place within
individuals and their relationships. It nurtures
growth toward wholeness, it provides guidance in
decision making and challenges obstacles to
positive development” (RTV)
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5/13/2015
Helping acts done by representative Christian persons,
directed towards the healing, sustaining, guiding
and reconciling of troubled persons whose troubles
arise in the context of ultimate meaning and concern
(Clebsch and Jaekle, 1967).
Leonard Sweet, Soul Tsunami p. 220
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Signs and Signals of
Situation
1.
Jesus wasn’t nice
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1. Jesus wasn’t nice, he was loving – love is challenging
and creating healthy boundaries
2. Not ‘Confidential’ / not gossip
Abuse or Danger to self or others
1. Jesus wasn’t nice, he was loving – love is challenging
and creating healthy boundaries
2. Confidentiality / not gossip
Abuse or Danger to self or others
3. What are your credentials? Know the boundaries
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1. Jesus wasn’t nice, he was loving – love is
challenging and creating healthy boundaries
2. Confidentiality / not gossip
Abuse or Danger to self or others
3. What are your credentials? Know the boundaries
4.Triage not primary physician
1. Jesus wasn’t nice, he was loving – love is challenging
and creating healthy boundaries
2. Confidentiality / not gossip
Abuse or Danger to self or others
3. What are your credentials? Know the boundaries
4. Triage not primary physician
5. Parents are our Partners – we are not young people’s
friend or peer – we are adults orchestrating other
adults . . .
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1. Jesus wasn’t nice, he was loving – love is challenging
and creating healthy boundaries
2. Confidentiality / not gossip
Abuse or Danger to self or others
3. What are your credentials? Know the boundaries
4. Triage not primary physician
5. Parents are our Partners – we are not young people’s
friend or peer – we are adults orchestrating other
adults . . .
6. Be honest with teens – don’t lie to teens - don’t make
promises (confidentiality) you can’t keep
Not Minor
BUT. . . .
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Prayer and Healthy Boundaries
Shut Up
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Verify the Facts
Know Your “Hooks”
Remember Who and Whose We Are
Roman Catholic Prayer/ Ritual
Roman Catholic Theology
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Model Healthy Expression
RED FLAGS
AND REFERRAL
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Steps to Intervening - The 5 Point Formula
I Care -- Let the person know you care about him/her and
that because of the significance of the relationship you need to
discuss something very important.
I See -- Report/Review actual events with your friend, as you
perceive them. Remember you are evaluating the behavior not
the person. Try to limit your statements to observable,
irrefutable facts. The more you have, the better.
I Feel --
Tell the person your own feelings using “I
statements” to reveal your feelings.
I Want -- Tell the person what you would like to see happen.
I Will -- Specify what you will or will not do. Only set
ultimatums if you can, and will, stick to them.
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5/13/2015
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
once said,
People are like stained glass
windows.
They sparkle and shine when the
sun is out,
but when the darkness sets in,
their true beauty is revealed
only if there is a light from within.
As long as they
are going to
memorialize
anyway. . .
Center it in who we
are. . .
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Prayer Chain
Scholarship to their favorite Program/ Event
Memory and Story Book (Hole Punch and Ribbon)
Removal of Prayer Space – next natural break
Returning Items to Family - If the deceased young person’s retreat
letters, handprints, art, pictures, etc is displayed, do not remove it
immediately. When it is removed, return it and the young person’s
belongings to the family.
Don’t create a “memorial” you can’t live with in the long term.
Return to calendar and schedule after ritualistic closure.
Young people need structure, ritual and normalcy and can only grieve
in small bursts. They often need permission to “play” after a loss.
Physical Exercise/ Ability to focus
Journal – given by YM to friends/ boyfriend
with scripture quotes written in for their use
over time.
Parent Information Session – opportunity to
train parents after a loss about what they
should look for – how to talk about loss with
their kids, opportunity to pray together as
community of parents
Opportunity to come together as
community – why not holy hour or rosary
“announced” via text message after loss, but
also a year later?
Attempt to respond - Cancer death – relay for
life team; “Livestrong” type bracelets for long
term illness; Six months later let kids figure
out advocacy regarding issue ex. drunk
driving awareness program;
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Oxygen Mask
Loving God,
make us strong enough to enter into the
vulnerability of the sick and struggling.
Help us to be a light of strength in their
suffering, a hope of redemption, and a
consoling presence as we accompany them on
their journey.
We ask this in your name.
Amen
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