Alida Fullmer
Signature Assignment 5
PSY 1100
Gender Role Reversals
The cultural stereotypes of gender and gender roles are changing in the United States.
We have begun to see a blurred line particularly between the family’s parental roles in a common
household. Mothers are embracing their chance at a career and fathers are tackling the role of
caretakers. Although gender role lines have been blurring for sometime now, fathers embracing
their softer sides is something of a newer development that has started to steadily increase
among the average American household.
Throughout the last decade, there has been an increase in stay at home dads within the
United States. The Census Bureau finds that in 2011 about 3.4 percent of stay at home parents
are fathers, and will probably be doubled in a decade (The New Dad). Also, in correlation with
that data, it has been shown that fathers in general over the last decade have become much
more nurturing towards their children. Fathers today have become much more soft and loveable
towards their kids. They have a wanting to be with their children rather than climbing the
corporate ladder, and are even becoming more verbal in telling their children that they are loved.
In correlation, mothers are now able to go back into work, advance in their careers and
are able to pursue a different lifestyle other than that of just motherhood. “In 2008, 26% of
women living in dual­income households had annual earnings that were at least 10 percentage
points higher than their spouse, up from 15% in 1997, according to the Families and Work
Institute's latest data (CNN).” This potentially allows for the parent role reversal to become an
ever larger norm over the next decade.
With the United States most recent economic downfall many fathers were let go from
their jobs, leaving mothers to become the breadwinner. Federal statistics show that men lost two
and a half times as many jobs as women did in the recession (NYTimes). Many times involving
the mother to start to picking up more hours at her current position or obtain a second job to
make up the difference in income. But this type of scenario is only a small percentage compared
to fathers who choose to become stay at home dads.
Many fathers assumed the caretaker role after reviewing the economic status of the
family in comparison to the mother’s income and child care services fees. In a New York Time
article, Just Wait Until Your Mother Gets Home, David Worford, a former Web editor in Fort
Collins, CO, discusses his decision to become a stay at home dad, “Most of my income was
going directly to child care. Throw on that I was handling most of the domestic workload anyway
because of the hours Cherie [his wife] was working. It just made sense to make the move both
economically and for family life. It was great to have a constant at home.” Another personal take
on the issue is stay at home father Jeremy Adam Smith, “For a lot of women who lose their job,
a pathway presents itself,” he says. “They decide, ‘I’m a stay­at­home mom. My job now is to
take care of the home and kids, and I’m going to be good at that.’ But for many fathers, that
pathway doesn’t exist in any well­developed way.” (Working Mother) So although most fathers
are up to their new role, it’s not always the easiest thing to do, they weren’t raised to become
caregivers, most were raised to climb the corporate ladder. All of the domestic and caregiving
roles that women were taught as children, men never received the same type of skill
development, making it a whole new process for them.
Personality types also becomes a factor for men choosing the caretaker role in the
family. If the personality type for the father is more of a caregiver role already compared to the
mother; or it is more in the fathers interest to be the caregiver and it’s the mothers interest to be
the breadwinner. It is a stereotype that most stay at home fathers want to see gone, Lance
Somerfeld in a CNN article, Stay­at­home dads: More men choosing kids over career, stated:
"Too often, we hear that it's the economy that forces dads into these roles and that's certainly a
part of it, but I would love to shatter that stereotype. Being my son's primary caregiver is
something I have truly cherished and embraced and never looked back."
Even with all of the factors at play, economic sensibility and personality type, many
fathers who choose the stay at home path are still receiving negative stigmatism for their
choices. In a study addressed in The New Dad: Right at Home, in a study of 200 participants,
nearly 70% of the fathers felt that they had received a negative reactions from
stay­at­home­mothers. Once the shift of stay­at­home dads becomes more custom in our
society then we will be able see this negativity change.
The important thing to note is that these fathers are wanting to pursue this new gender
role reversal, most commonly within the United States. The freedom of changing role reversals
is something that we might take for granted. In the mountain villages of northern Albania there
are women known as Burneshas. They are women who take a vow of chastity and wear male
clothing in order to live as men in their patriarchal northern Albanian society. This may seem like
an odd thing to do, coming from an American standpoint, but in the Albanian society women are
denied many rights. They cannot vote, smoke, drink, own land, wear pants, earn money, conduct
business (in any form of purchase, even milk). By taking a vow of celibacy and completely
adopting a men’s persona, they are allowed the freedoms that they were once denied. In addition
to their dressing like men, they adopt mens walk, talk, mannerisms, cut their hair, changed their
names, in a sense became a “he”. Women become Burneshas to protect and support their
families after their fathers had passed and they have no other male family figure to support them.
These Burneshas must taken on this role and sacrifice every having a family of their own
in order to care for their loved ones. Women and Men in America willing accept their new gender
roles, with no form of major sacrifice that the Burneshas face. Although Americans are not like
the Burnesha in Albania, we definitely have some correlations between us and them as we as a
society move towards a much more gender equality unisex roles. The Burnesha’s trade in their
chastity to own land and conduct business; American mothers are trading in their diaper bags for
suitcases; and the American father is trading in his climb up the corporate ladder to climbing up
the tree house with his children.
Personally, my own experience with gender role reversals, particularly to those that are
family oriented is quite small. A friend of mine, Sarah and her husband Mike have adopted a
parental role reversal and has worked out quite well for them. Sarah has always been ambitious
and career driven, being the top salesman in her company for three years in a row, she spends
a good deal of time outside of the home. Her husband Mike is an occasional substitute teacher
for high school, but has always been the more nurturing of the two parents. Mike is the caretaker
and housekeeper while Sarah continues her goals of climbing the corporate ladder and both are
happy and content to be in the roles that they were able to choose for themselves and not
society.
As I myself am growing older, I still find myself faced with the decision: will I have to
choose my career over my children? I do truly and completely want both and as the thin lines
between gender stereotypes are diminishing, both men and women alike are now faced with the
freedom to choose what they would like to do with their lives rather than subject themselves to a
box of conformity and gender stereotypes. So why should you or myself subject ourselves to the
same box? As we progress to a more open minded and accepting society, I think that we will be
able to choose the lifestyle we, as individuals, want to live.
Bibliography
1. Zhang, M. Peta Pixel. Portraits of Albanian Women Who Have Lived Their Lifes As Men.
Dec 12,2012. Accessed Oct 7, 2013. Available at:
http://petapixel.com/2012/12/26/portraits­of­albanian­women­who­have­lived­their­lives­a
s­men
2. Harrington, B. Boston College.The New Dad: Right at Home. 2012. Available at:
http://www.bc.edu/content/dam/files/centers/cwf/pdf/The%20New%20Dad%20Right%20
at%20Home%20BCCWF%202012.pdf
3. Eckel, S. Working Mother. Dad­Mom Role Reversal. ND. Accessed Nov 17, 2013.
Available at: http://www.workingmother.com/2010/2/home/dad­mom­role­reversals
4. Dickler, J. CNN. Stay­at­home dads: More men choosing kids over career. Apr 30, 2012.
Accessed Nov 18, 2013. Available at:
http://money.cnn.com/2012/04/30/pf/stay­at­home­dad/
5. Williams, A. NYTimes. Just Wait Until Your Mother Gets Home. Aug 10 2012. Accessed
Nov 30, 2013. Available at:
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/12/fashion/dads­are­taking­over­as­full­time­parents.ht
ml?pagewanted=1&_r=0&adxnnl=1&adxnnlx=1385838068­rm1AicIS1cKJ/M6QRCzKDQ