Successful Transitions
Learning Seminar Program
Weeks 1-9: Spring, 2014
Paragraphing & Sentencing:
signposting/showcasing
Today’s seminar will…
 determine where you are in the writing
journey
 examine sentences and transitions
Assess. 6
Subject
Assess. 1
Assess. 2
Assess. 3
Assess. 4
HIST111
Week 4
Week 12
Short essay
750 wds.
Long essay
1500 wds.
Exam
Period
Tutorial
participation
Ongoing
25%
35%
Final exam
2 hrs.
30%
Weeks 4-13
Blog & class
discussion.
Week 8
Week 13
20%
Essay
1500 wds.
40%
Blog diary
10 x 200 wds.
40%
Week 4
Report
1000wds
Week 7
Mid-term
exam
SOC104
EESC104
INDS130
ENGL131
Week 8
Prac, 2 or 3
10%
Week 10
Asylum seeker
letter
1000wds
10%
10%
30%
1000wds
10%
Week 4
Week 6
Week 12
Week 13
Essay
1000 wds.
30%
Quiz 1
15%
Quiz 2
Essay
2000 wds.
40%
Ongoing
Class
participation &
presentation
15%
Week 5
In-class
quiz
15%
Week 8
Essay
2000wds
35%
15%
Assess. 5
Final exam
TBA
35%
Week 12
Poster
1000wds
10%
Exam
Period
Final exam
.
30%
Assessment
Assessment
Assessment
Subject
1
2
3
ACCY112
Weeks 4,6,9 &
12
Tutorial tasks
12%
TBA
Computer lab
8%
Week 11
Mid-session
exam
20%
COMM101
Weeks
4,5,6,7,8,9,10,12
Tutorial/Lab
tasks
28%
Week 11
In session test
Essay
Weeks
3,5,7,9,11
Tutorial/Lab
tasks
10%
Weeks 4,6,13
In session
online test
15%
Random Tests
Week 9
Mid-session
exam
25%
COMM121
ECON111
25%
MARK101
Weeks 2-13
Tutorial tasks
10%
Assessment Assessment
5
4
Exam Period
Final exam
60%
Exam Period
Final exam
50%
22%
Week 6
Mid-session
exam
20%
Week 8
Mid-session
exam
15%
Week 12
In session
Excel/PHstat
Exam
10%
Exam Period
Final exam
50%
Exam Period
Final exam
50%
Week 9
Poster
15%
Week 11
Group Report
25%
Exam Period
Final exam
30%
Upcoming essay assessments
 ENGL131: Week 5 – In-class quiz (15%)
 INDS130: Week 6 – Quiz (15%)
 SOC104: Week 4 – 13 – Blogs (20%)
Couchman 2011
Review: what is an argument?
 a point of view
 a position
 a stance
 an informed opinion
 an angle …
How do I develop an academic discussion???
Critically assess the information/ideas relevant to the
topic/question/s
Identify the range of points of view in the
relevant readings.
What are their strengths & weaknesses?
Which point of view seems the most
credible? Why?
What is your point of view on the topic?
How do I present my academic discussion?
As a series of main points
or claims.
Each point to be
developed in a separate
paragraph.
Each point to be
supported by evidence.
Overall cohesiveness
•
These points support your answer to the topic.
•
Every sentence in the paragraph will somehow
relate to this point.
• Examples;
• explanations;
• reference to ideas of recognised authorities in
the field.
• Paragraphs (main points) should be logically ordered.
• Clear links / connections between paragraphs (main
points).
Vivers, M 2009, ‘Dealing With Difference: Evidence of European
Women in Early Contact History’.
As historians attempt to reconstruct details of early contact between
Europeans and Aborigines, evidence contained in the writing of
European women appears to have been largely overlooked. In
Australian colonial times women's writing was usually relegated to the
private sphere and not seen as an important part of the colonial
enterprise. There was, and perhaps still is, suspicion about the
subjective, and possibly trivial, nature of women's writing. In any case,
in spite of over thirty years of research and, more recently, some
improvement in the use of women's evidence, there is a surprising
lack of reference to primary female sources in texts that deal with
contact history.
In this article I look briefly at the writings of a selection of women who
lived in what is now northern New South Wales and Queensland. This
includes the edited letters of Jane Bardsley, which give an excellent
account of a woman's life on a remote station in the Gulf region of far
northern Queensland in the early decades of the twentieth century. I
examine earlier information from the Hughenden region compiled
between 1868-1870, found in Lucy Gray's original handwritten
manuscript, now in the John Oxley Library, as well as the work of the
prominent Aboriginal rights campaigner Mary Bennett, who spent part
of her childhood in northern Queensland.
Introduces
the topic.
Clearly states
the perspective
or point of view
of the paper:
her ‘thesis’.
Indicates central
focus of
discussion.
sample student Introduction
A Government web site (2009) that provides information to
migrants about becoming an Australian citizen outlines
those values that define national identity. These values
include “equality of men and women”, “equality of
opportunity”, “tolerance and mutual respect”. Future
citizens are also told that these values are central to the
security and ongoing prosperity of the nation. This essay
examines these values in relation to the experiences of
migrant women from non-English speaking backgrounds.
Many of these women are subjected to exploitation in the
workplace. They often remain invisible to unions and other
organisations interested in workplace equity. Often they will
also experience social isolation. Their difficulties in finding
a way to live in ‘this place’ are reinforced by gender and the
language barrier. It will be argued that the experiences of
many migrant women from non-English speaking
backgrounds fall short of the ideals of equality, tolerance
and mutual respect.
Introduces the
topic; identifies
specific values.
Provides context in
which these values will
be analysed; indicates
central focus of
discussion
Clear statement of
argument: the
‘thesis’ statement.
Used with permission
SOC103 example
During the tutorial we discussed chapter 7, Micro-Sociology: the construction of
everyday life and looked at the varying theories surrounding the development of the
self and the social impact of that development.
Sigmund Freud (1856-1936) believed that our unconscious stems from biology and
our social self is formed through balancing social interactions. George Herbert Mead,
(1863-1933) however, saw that the self did not develop without social interaction, as
a subjective and objective view of self and others was required. Erving Goffman
(1922-1982) perceived us as actors, performing ideologically on the world stage
avoiding embarrassment. (Macionis & Plummer 2005)
Ethnomethodology and conversational analysis studies reveal patterns that emerge
in our behaviour and in language. And the study of the sociology of bodies shows the
myriad of ways we control the function and look of our bodies. (Macionis & Plummer
2005)
What we were seeing then was the overview that the existing external structures of
society influence the creation of the individual, and the individual contributes to the
creation of society. We can see the reflection of society in ourselves using the
looking glass self (Charles Horton Cooley 1864-1929) and see the constraints and
opportunities available to us through social agency. (Macionis & Plummer 2012
p.214)
Used with permission
SOC103 example
During the tutorial we discussed chapter 7, Micro-Sociology: the
construction of everyday life and looked at the varying theories
surrounding the development of the self and the social impact of that
development. Sigmund Freud (1856-1936) believed that our
unconscious stems from biology and our social self is formed through
balancing social interactions. George Herbert Mead, (1863-1933)
however, saw that the self did not develop without social interaction, as a
subjective and objective view of self and others was required. Erving
Goffman (1922-1982) perceived us as actors, performing ideologically on
the world stage avoiding embarrassment. (Macionis & Plummer 2005)
Ethnomethodology and conversational analysis studies reveal patterns
that emerge in our behaviour and in language. And the study of the
sociology of bodies shows the myriad of ways we control the function
and look of our bodies. (Macionis & Plummer 2005) What we were
seeing then was the overview that the existing external structures of
society influence the creation of the individual, and the individual
contributes to the creation of society. We can see the reflection of society
in ourselves using the looking glass self (Charles Horton Cooley 18641929) and see the constraints and opportunities available to us through
social agency. (Macionis & Plummer 2012 p.214)
Used with permission
SOC103 example
During the tutorial we discussed chapter 7, Micro-Sociology:
the construction of everyday life and looked at the varying
theories surrounding the development of the self and the
social impact of that development. Sigmund Freud (18561936) believed that our unconscious stems from biology and
our social self is formed through balancing social interactions.
George Herbert Mead, (1863-1933) however, saw that the
self did not develop without social interaction, as a subjective
and objective view of self and others was required. Erving
Goffman (1922-1982) perceived us as actors, performing
ideologically on the world stage avoiding embarrassment.
(Macionis & Plummer 2005) Ethnomethodology and
conversational analysis studies reveal patterns that emerge in
our behaviour and in language. And the study of the sociology
of bodies shows the myriad of ways we control the function
and look of our bodies. (Macionis & Plummer 2005) What we
were seeing then was the overview that the existing external
structures of society influence the creation of the individual,
and the individual contributes to the creation of society. We
can see the reflection of society in ourselves using the
looking glass self (Charles Horton Cooley 1864-1929) and
see the constraints and opportunities available to us through
social agency. (Macionis & Plummer 2012 p.214)
Introduces
the topic.
Used with permission
SOC103 example
During the tutorial we discussed chapter 7, Micro-Sociology:
the construction of everyday life and looked at the varying
theories surrounding the development of the self and the
social impact of that development. Sigmund Freud (18561936) believed that our unconscious stems from biology and
our social self is formed through balancing social interactions.
George Herbert Mead, (1863-1933) however, saw that the
self did not develop without social interaction, as a subjective
and objective view of self and others was required. Erving
Goffman (1922-1982) perceived us as actors, performing
ideologically on the world stage avoiding embarrassment.
(Macionis & Plummer 2005) Ethnomethodology and
conversational analysis studies reveal patterns that emerge in
our behaviour and in language. And the study of the sociology
of bodies shows the myriad of ways we control the function
and look of our bodies. (Macionis & Plummer 2005) What we
were seeing then was the overview that the existing external
structures of society influence the creation of the individual,
and the individual contributes to the creation of society. We
can see the reflection of society in ourselves using the
looking glass self (Charles Horton Cooley 1864-1929) and
see the constraints and opportunities available to us through
social agency. (Macionis & Plummer 2012 p.214)
Introduces
the topic.
Provides
evidence to
support the
idea in the
topic
sentence
Used with permission
SOC103 example
During the tutorial we discussed chapter 7, Micro-Sociology:
the construction of everyday life and looked at the varying
theories surrounding the development of the self and the
social impact of that development. Sigmund Freud (18561936) believed that our unconscious stems from biology and
our social self is formed through balancing social interactions.
George Herbert Mead, (1863-1933) however, saw that the
self did not develop without social interaction, as a subjective
and objective view of self and others was required. Erving
Goffman (1922-1982) perceived us as actors, performing
ideologically on the world stage avoiding embarrassment.
(Macionis & Plummer 2005) Ethnomethodology and
conversational analysis studies reveal patterns that emerge in
our behaviour and in language. And the study of the sociology
of bodies shows the myriad of ways we control the function
and look of our bodies. (Macionis & Plummer 2005) What we
were seeing then was the overview that the existing external
structures of society influence the creation of the individual,
and the individual contributes to the creation of society. We
can see the reflection of society in ourselves using the
looking glass self (Charles Horton Cooley 1864-1929) and
see the constraints and opportunities available to us through
social agency. (Macionis & Plummer 2012 p.214)
Introduces
the topic.
Provides
evidence to
support the
idea in the
topic
sentence
Analysis or
so what
does it
mean and
how does it
connect to
the topic
sentence
Used with permission
Introducing the topic: editing
During the tutorial we discussed chapter 7, Micro-Sociology: the
construction of everyday life and looked at the varying theories
surrounding the development of the self and the social impact of
that development.
During the tutorial we discussed chapter 7, Micro-Ssociology:
examines the construction of everyday life and looked at using the
varying various theories surrounding the development of the self
and the social impact of that development.
Micro-sociology examines the construction of everyday life using
the various theories surrounding the development of the self and
the social impact of that development.
Used with permission
Providing evidence: editing
Sigmund Freud (1856-1936) believed that our unconscious stems from biology and our
social self is formed through balancing social interactions. George Herbert Mead,
(1863-1933) however, saw that the self did not develop without social interaction, as a
subjective and objective view of self and others was required. Erving Goffman (19221982) perceived us as actors, performing ideologically on the world stage avoiding
embarrassment. (Macionis & Plummer 2005) Ethnomethodology and conversational
analysis studies reveal patterns that emerge in our behaviour and in language. And the
study of the sociology of bodies shows the myriad of ways we control the function and
look of our bodies. (Macionis & Plummer 2005)
Sigmund Freud (1856-1936) believed that our the unconscious stems from biology and
our the social self is formed through balancing social interactions. George Herbert
Mead, (1863-1933), however, saw that the self did not develop without social
interaction, as a subjective and objective view of self and others was required. Erving
Goffman (1922-1982) perceived us humans as actors, performing ideologically on the
world stage trying to avoid avoiding embarrassment. (Macionis & Plummer 2005).
Ethnomethodology and conversational analysis studies reveal patterns that emerge in
our human behaviour and in language. And and the study of the sociology of bodies
shows the myriad of ways the body can function and be controlled we control the
function and look of our bodies. (Macionis & Plummer 2005).
Used with permission
Delving further
Sigmund Freud (1856-1936) believed that the unconscious stems
from biology and the social self is formed through balancing social
interactions. George Herbert Mead, (1863-1933), however, saw
that the self did not develop without social interaction, as a
subjective and objective view of self and others was required.
Erving Goffman (1922-1982) perceived humans as actors,
performing ideologically on the world stage trying to avoid
embarrassment (Macionis & Plummer 2005). Ethnomethodology
and conversational analysis studies reveal patterns that emerge in
human behaviour and in language and the study of the sociology of
bodies shows the myriad of ways the body can function and be
controlled (Macionis & Plummer 2005).
Used with permission
Analysis: editing
What we were seeing then was the overview that the existing external structures of
society influence the creation of the individual, and the individual contributes to the
creation of society. We can see the reflection of society in ourselves using the looking
glass self (Charles Horton Cooley 1864-1929) and see the constraints and
opportunities available to us through social agency. (Macionis & Plummer 2012 p.214)
What we were seeing is seen then was is the overview that the existing external
structures of society influence the creation of the individual, and the individual
contributes to the creation of society. We Individuals can see the reflection of society in
ourselves themselves using the looking glass self (Charles Horton Cooley 1864-1929)
and see the constraints and opportunities available to us through social agency.
(Macionis & Plummer 2012, p.214).
What is seen then is the overview that the existing external structures of society
influence the creation of the individual, and the individual contributes to the creation of
society. Individuals can see the reflection of society in themselves using the looking
glass self (Charles Horton Cooley 1864-1929) and see the constraints and
opportunities available through social agency. (Macionis & Plummer 2012, p.214).
Final version
Micro-sociology examines the construction of everyday life using the various
theories surrounding the development of the self and the social impact of
that development. Sigmund Freud (1856-1936) believed that the
unconscious stems from biology and the social self is formed through
balancing social interactions. George Herbert Mead, (1863-1933), however,
saw that the self did not develop without social interaction, as a subjective
and objective view of self and others was required. Erving Goffman (19221982) perceived humans as actors, performing ideologically on the world
stage trying to avoid embarrassment (Macionis & Plummer 2005).
Ethnomethodology and conversational analysis studies reveal patterns that
emerge in human behaviour and in language and the study of the sociology
of bodies shows the myriad of ways the body can function and be controlled
(Macionis & Plummer 2005). What is seen then is the overview that the
existing external structures of society influence the creation of the individual,
and the individual contributes to the creation of society. Individuals can see
the reflection of society in themselves using the looking glass self (Charles
Horton Cooley 1864-1929) and see the constraints and opportunities
available through social agency. (Macionis & Plummer 2012, p.214).
During the tutorial we discussed chapter 7, MicroSociology: the construction of everyday life and
looked at the varying theories surrounding the
development of the self and the social impact of
that development.
Sigmund Freud (1856-1936) believed that our
unconscious stems from biology and our social
self is formed through balancing social
interactions. George Herbert Mead, (1863-1933)
however, saw that the self did not develop without
social interaction, as a subjective and objective
view of self and others was required. Erving
Goffman (1922-1982) perceived us as actors,
performing ideologically on the world stage
avoiding embarrassment. (Macionis & Plummer
2005)
Ethnomethodology and conversational analysis
studies reveal patterns that emerge in our
behaviour and in language. And the study of the
sociology of bodies shows the myriad of ways we
control the function and look of our bodies.
(Macionis & Plummer 2005)
What we were seeing then was the overview that
the existing external structures of society
influence the creation of the individual, and the
individual contributes to the creation of society. We
can see the reflection of society in ourselves using
the looking glass self (Charles Horton Cooley
1864-1929) and see the constraints and
opportunities available to us through social
agency. (Macionis & Plummer 2012 p.214)
Micro-sociology examines the construction of
everyday life using the various theories
surrounding the development of the self and
the social impact of that development.
Sigmund Freud (1856-1936) believed that the
unconscious stems from biology and the
social self is formed through balancing social
interactions. George Herbert Mead, (18631933), however, saw that the self did not
develop without social interaction, as a
subjective and objective view of self and
others was required. Erving Goffman (19221982) perceived humans as actors,
performing ideologically on the world stage
trying to avoid embarrassment (Macionis &
Plummer 2005). Ethnomethodology and
conversational analysis studies reveal
patterns that emerge in human behaviour and
in language and the study of the sociology of
bodies shows the myriad of ways the body
can function and be controlled (Macionis &
Plummer 2005). What is seen then is the
overview that the existing external structures
of society influence the creation of the
individual, and the individual contributes to
the creation of society. Individuals can see
the reflection of society in themselves using
the looking glass self (Charles Horton Cooley
1864-1929) and see the constraints and
opportunities available through social agency.
(Macionis & Plummer 2012, p.214).
So what???? I hear you snort!
Weeeell……………………………………
Note how the key ideas sketched in the thesis statement are
pulled down in the following paragraph & specified….
P2. Migrant women are frequently unaware of their
rights in the workplace. They are commonly put in
P1. It will be argued that
negative situations involving illegal pay rates;
the experiences of
excessive working hours; sub-standard
many migrant women
workplace conditions; racism and harassment
from non-English
(Singerman 1992). Gender, language and cultural
speaking backgrounds
factors can all play a part in keeping them from
fall short of the ideals
knowledge about their rights. For example,
of equality, tolerance
migrant women make up the majority of
and mutual respect.
outworkers in the fashion industry and are often
subjected to sub-standard working and pay
conditions (Keane 1996). As Dyson has argued,
these workers are “deprived of the most basic
rights enjoyed by Australian factory workers”
(2003, p137). These women can be expected to
work twelve and eighteen hour days, seven days
a week and be paid as little as a third of the
award rate (Fares 1994; Keane 1996; Pender
2005).
Paragraphs (main points) logically ordered; clear links / ‘signposts’ between
paragraphs …
P2. Migrant women are frequently
unaware of their rights in the workplace.
They are commonly put in negative
situations involving racism and
harassment; excessive working
hours; sub-standard workplace
conditions and illegal pay rates
(Singerman 1992). Gender, language
and cultural factors can all play a part in
keeping them from knowledge about
their rights. For example, migrant women
make up the majority of outworkers in
the fashion industry and are often
subjected to sub-standard working and
pay conditions (Keane 1996). As Dyson
has argued, these workers are “deprived
of the most basic rights enjoyed by
Australian factory workers” (2003, p137).
These women can be expected to work
twelve and eighteen hour days, seven
days a week and be paid as little as a
third of the award rate (Fares 1994;
Keane 1996; Pender 2005).
P3. There have been numerous reports of
racism and harassment in the workplace,
particularly from authority figures and
English speaking colleagues (Keane 1996;
Dyson 2003; Pender 2005).
P4. In a study of the experiences of Italian
migrants (Vasta 1991), migrant women
talked about workplace situations where
they were subject to excessive hours, substandard working conditions, and
treatments from supervisors which they
described as ‘unjust and degrading’…
P5. The minimal participation of non-English
speaking women in unions is one of the
primary reasons why so many of these
women have been and are kept in the dark
about legal rates of pay (Davis 2000).
Remember, too, that the Conclusion……
 Will draw together the key strands of the
preceding discussion and indicate how these
key ideas support or prove your stated thesis
claim.
Χ Will not introduce new evidence.
Introduction
A Government web site (2009) that provides
information to migrants about becoming an
Australian citizen outlines those values that
define national identity. These values include
“equality of men and women”, “equality of
opportunity”, “tolerance and mutual respect”.
Future citizens are also told that these values
are central to the security and ongoing prosperity
of the nation. This essay examines these values
in relation to the experiences of migrant women
from non-English speaking backgrounds. Many
of these women are subjected to exploitation in
the workplace. They often remain invisible to
unions and other organisations interested in
workplace equity. Often they will also experience
social isolation. Their difficulties in finding a way
to live in ‘this place’ are reinforced by gender and
the language barrier. It will be argued that the
experiences of many migrant women from nonEnglish speaking backgrounds fall short of the
ideals of equality, tolerance and mutual respect.
Conclusion
The difficulties which migrant women from nonEnglish speaking backgrounds face in their working
lives can make adjusting to a new country and
culture an overwhelmingly negative experience. The
employment sector of the Australian community
often fails to recognise the abilities, skills, potential,
strengths and intelligence that these women can
bring to their working lives. As Australia’s population
becomes increasingly multi-lingual and culturally
diverse, the situation for these women in the
workforce has to have the potential to improve.
However, significant changes have to be made on
many levels of the employment sphere to address
the problems and difficulties faced by these women
and to make employment a satisfactory, lawful, and
even satisfying experience. It is only through making
these changes that the workplace for these women
will reflect those ideals of equality, tolerance and
mutual respect that future citizens are told represent
Australia’s values.
Evaluating resources / moving the discussion
along…
X states that…
X asserts that…
X claims that…
X points out that…
X suggests that…
X takes the view that…
X observes that…
X concludes that…
X proposes that…
X insists that…
However, Y argues that…
The evidence suggests
that…
Basic academic writing protocols
Expanded sophisticated vocabulary
No contractions
No colloquialisms/slang
No rhetorical questions
No personalisation
Nominalisation
Passive voice
28
UOW Learning Development, 2014
Used with permission
Incomplete sentences
Based on existing argument whether social media
brings value to the business or not an author
examines social media and social networks used
internally. In particular, looking at strategies that
managers can use to incorporate these applications
within organization.
29
UOW Learning Development, 2014
Used with permission
Empty sentences
This article contributes a lot to my research as it brings
up the human aspect of social media topic which is
main interest area of my study.
30
UOW Learning Development, 2014
Subject/verb agreement
(singular subject) (singular verb)
The study
examines
(plural subject) (plural verb)
The studies
31
examine
UOW Learning Development, 2014
Formality vs informality
If you are bidding, sign up with agent before the auction
starts.
Prospective bidders must register with the agents
before the commencement of the auction.
32
UOW Learning Development, 2014
Abstract and technical language
Compare:
We treat sick patients.
Nurses care for patients with disease, chronic
illness and injuries.
33
UOW Learning Development, 2014
Avoid personalisation
If we examine the statistics, it is revealed to us that
poverty and ill health have a positive relationship.
An examination of the statistics reveals that poverty and
ill health have a positive relationship.
34
UOW Learning Development, 2014
Expression of attitudes & opinions
The new treatment is excellent.
The benefits of the treatment are … .
35
UOW Learning Development, 2014
Emotive language
The conditions of the poor in India are disgusting.
Poverty in India is indicated by these factors …
36
UOW Learning Development, 2014
Support your argument
I think that girls do better at high school than boys.
Girls consistently outperform boys at secondary school
level; for example, from 1990-1999, the mean female
TER ranking was 15% higher than the mean male
ranking (O’Day 1999, p. 67).
37
UOW Learning Development, 2014
Nominalisation
We spread the seeds around by hand.
The manual dispersal of seeds … .
38
UOW Learning Development, 2014
Passive voice
Researchers observed low rates of hand washing.
Low rates of hand washing were observed.
39
UOW Learning Development, 2014
What was one thing you learned
today?
What do you need to look at for
next week?
40
Successful Transitions, 2014