Self-Editing For
Dissterators
Dr. Kristen R. Moore | October 10, 2014
Assistant Professor of Tech Comm and Rhetoric
Where we’re headed
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Takeaway: Concrete strategies for self-editing paragraphs
Brief Overview of Revision vs. Editing
Why Paragraphing?
An Overview of Paragraphs (because why not?)
Concrete Strategies
Practice
Editing vs. Revision
EDITING
REVISING
• Conceptual Frames
• Structure of
Sections
• Narrative and
Argument
• Key Terms and
Language
REVISING
EDITING
• Stylistic Choice
• Internal
Paragraphing
• Sentence Level
Details
• Correctness
If you hired an editor…
s/he’d look for…
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Correctness or copy editing
Style and Wordiness
Formatting, correctness and consistency
Consistency of word choice
Clarity
S/he wouldn’t fix paragraphs…
(Unless you paid a lot of money…like, a lot.)
What’s a Paragraph?
Collection of Ideas about the
same topic. DUH.
Made up of a sentences?
But wait: there’s more!
Every sentence has a function.
As in, 1 of 5 explicit, clear
functions.
5 Sentence Functions
1.
2.
3.
4.
Introduce A Topic/Make A Claim
Narrow The Topic/Claim
Provide Evidence Or Examples To Support The Claim
OFFER A CONCLUSION, REFLECTION Or “SO
WHAT?”
5. Transition
If you’re not sure what the
function of a sentence is—cut
the sentence. CUT. or Revise.
Consistent Subjects vs. Given/New
STRUCTURING PARAGRAPHS
Consistent Subject: WYNTK
• Relies on using a consistent noun/idea in the subject
position of each sentence
• Must know what a subject is
• Must be able to align subjects in a paragraph
What is the Subject?
Although they’re a necessary part of graduate school,
dissertations are a real bear to write.
What is the Subject?
Although they’re a necessary part of graduate school,
dissertations are a real bear to write.
A New Paragraph
Anne Lamott, author of Bird by Bird, offers some of the best and
most hilarious advice ever about writing: short assignments and
shitty first drafts. I love the idea of writing smaller assignments
rather than trying to tackle all of the project at one time, which
can be really overwhelming. And I can relate to the whole idea of
getting way off topic and procrastinating when I’m writing. She’s
particularly funny in her description of shitty first drafts, which
she says that everyone writes—even the best writers. I don’t
really write fiction, but I still think it’s true when she talks about
trying to just write one small story at a time. And my students
always get a kick out of her using the term shitty to describe
drafts. She puts it this way, “The first draft is the child's draft,
where you let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the
place, knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can
shape it later.” When I teach this piece, it’s really fun for the
students to learn about writing and to read her hilarious prose.
Identifying the Subjects
• Anne Lamott, author of Bird by Bird, offers some of the best and most
hilarious advice ever about writing: short assignments and shitty first
drafts.
• I love the idea of writing smaller assignments rather than trying to tackle
all of the project at one time, which can be really overwhelming.
• And I can relate to the whole idea of getting way off topic and
procrastinating when I’m writing.
• She’s particularly funny in her description of shitty first drafts, which she
says that everyone writes—even the best writers.
• I don’t really write fiction, but I still think it’s true when she talks about
trying to just write one small story at a time.
• And my students always get a kick out of her using the term shitty to
describe drafts. She puts it this way, “The first draft is the child's draft,
where you let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place,
knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later.”
• When I teach this piece, it’s really fun for the students to learn about
writing and to read her hilarious prose.
Fixes for Misalignment
• Determine the subject of the paragraph: Lamott, author
experience, or teaching with Lamott
• Align the subjects of the sentences by putting the same
idea in the place of the subject
• Cut the content that’s introducing new information that’s
unrelated
A Revised Paragraph
Anne Lamott, author of Bird by Bird, offers some of the best and
most hilarious advice ever about writing: short assignments and
shitty first drafts. She suggests that authors try to write only a
little bit at a time and calms the storm in her head by trying to
write short assignments, rather than long ones. She writes in a
relatable way, describing her process like this, “So after I've
completely exhausted myself thinking about the people I most
resent in the world, and my more arresting financial problems,
and, of course, the orthodontia, I remember to pick up the oneinch picture frame and to figure out a one-inch piece of my story
to tell, one small scene, one memory, one exchange.” She’s
particularly funny in her description of shitty first drafts, which
she says that everyone writes—even the best writers. She puts it
this way, “The first draft is the child's draft, where you let it all
pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing that no
one is going to see it and that you can shape it later. Lamott
reminds me that with every writing task, start small and shitty,
and I can’t go wrong.
Aligning the Subject
• Anne Lamott, author of Bird by Bird, offers some of the best and
most hilarious advice ever about writing: short assignments and
shitty first drafts.
• She suggests that authors try to write only a little bit at a time and
calms the storm in her head by trying to write short assignments,
rather than long ones.
• She writes in a relatable way, describing her process like this, “So
after I've completely exhausted myself thinking about the people I
most resent in the world, and my more arresting financial
problems, and, of course, the orthodontia, I remember to pick up
the one-inch picture frame and to figure out a one-inch piece of
my story to tell, one small scene, one memory, one exchange.”
• She’s particularly funny in her description of shitty first drafts,
which she says that everyone writes—even the best writers.
• She puts it this way, “The first draft is the child's draft, where you
let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing
that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later.
• Lamott reminds me that with every writing task, start small and
shitty.
What’d We Cut?
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Author’s love of the small assignments idea
Author’s sense that big projects are overwhelming
Author’s experience of getting off topic
Students’ reaction to the text
Description of using text in class with students
Of Note…
• We added one quote to support claims
• We added a sentence at the end that can transition to the
author’s reaction to the text
• We solved some focus problems by cutting these ideas
Given/New Organization: WYNTK
• Relies on introducing one new idea at a time, leading the
reader from idea to idea—
• Need to know what a subject is (you already know this!)
• Need to know how to have a strong sense of revising the
sentence structure
Sentence Revision Options
• Adjust the subject of the sentence (or add a new one if
you’re using “it” or “that”).
• Conjugate a word
(repetition  repeating  repeats  repetitive)
(noun  gerund  verb  adjective)
• Add a dependent clause at the beginning or end with an
“–ing” phrase, a “because” or “although” phrase, or a
prepositional phrase
• Put ideas close together in the paragraph
New Paragraph
I used Lamott’s advice as I worked on my dissertation, and
I continue to use today. I try to focus on just a small
portion of the project, article, or argument. When I want to
manage my projects and organize my ideas, I often use this
strategy. Sometimes, I employ her shitty first drafts
suggestion and just explore through mapping, stories, and
freewriting. I sometimes find this disappointing because I
don’t always meet my writing goals or word count. The
most important part of the puzzle is to work each day,
though. So if I work for 15 minutes and it gets me to a plan,
I think it’s worth it. Some sessions I just get a plan for the
day.
Revised Paragraph (2)
I used Lamott’s advice about small assignments and shitty first
drafts as I worked on my dissertation, and I continue to use
today. For example, when the size of a project overwhelms me, I
focus on just a small portion of the project, article, or argument.
This helps quell my anxiety, and it also helps me organize my
work sessions and manage my projects. Sometimes, however, I
don’t need to organize my projects, and I’m just stuck on ideas.
In these cases, I use her shitty first drafts, which really help free
up my ideas at the start of a project. At times, then, I just explore
through mapping, stories, and freewriting. Sometimes this kind
of writing doesn’t produce the word count goals I set for the day,
but they almost always help me get to a plan, and for me, that’s
the most important part of the puzzle: to work each day—even if
it’s just 15 minutes and even if all I do is set myself up for my
next work session.
Revision Strategy
• I used Lamott’s advice about small assignments and shitty first drafts as I
worked on my dissertation, and I continue to use today.
• For example, when the size of a project overwhelms me, I focus
on just a small portion of the project, article, or argument.
• This helps quell my anxiety, and it also helps me organize my
work sessions and manage my projects.
• Sometimes, however, I don’t need to organize my projects, and I’m
just stuck on ideas.
• In these cases, I use her shitty first drafts, which really help free up
my ideas at the start of a project.
• At times, then, I just explore through mapping, stories, and
freewriting.
• Sometimes this kind of writing doesn’t produce the word count goals I
set for the day, but they almost always help me get to a plan, and for
me, that’s the most important part of the puzzle: to work each day—even
if it’s just 15 minutes and even if all I do is set myself up for my next work
session.
• NOTE: most of the additions helped more clearly support the main point,
to explain how I use Lamott’s advice today.
Linking Ideas with Proximity
I used Lamott’s advice as I worked on my dissertation, and
I continue to use today. I try to focus on just a small
portion of the project, article, or argument. When I want to
manage my projects and organize my ideas, I often use this
strategy.
I used Lamott’s advice about small assignments and shitty
first drafts as I worked on my dissertation, and I continue
to use today. For example, when the size of a project
overwhelms me, I focus on just a small portion of
the project, article, or argument. This helps quell
my anxiety, and it also helps me organize my work
sessions and manage my projects. Sometimes,
however, I don’t need to organize my projects, and I’m
just stuck on ideas.
Two Strategies
• Consistent Subjects (Better for explanatory paragraphs)
• Aligning the Ideas through Sentence Structure
• Paragraph focuses on one central Idea
• Cutting ideas that don’t belong
• Given/New (Poop/Scoop) (Better for complex
Paragraphs
• Linking Ideas through Proximity
• Only picking up ideas you’ve laid down
• Idea unfolds as your reader goes along