You Can Be OnOn-Time!
Time!
Yes, You really Can Learn to Be Punctual!
Lynne Edris, ACG
Life & ADHD Coach
www.CoachingADDvantages.com
Life & ADHD Coach
You Can Be On-Time © Copyright 2015 Lynne Edris. All Rights Reserved
You Can Be OnOn-Time!
Time!
Thank you for purchasing this self-coaching session called, “You Can Be On-Time!”
My name is Lynne Edris, and I’m Life & ADD Coach as well as a woman with ADD myself, and
mom to a teenage son with ADD. I work with adults and parents of kids who have challenges
with things like focus, organization, procrastination, time management, having too much on
their plates, and weak follow-through. I work with clients to help them learn to rely on their
unique talents and strengths to manage their challenges. I help them learn to live WELL with
their ADD, rather than constantly struggling against it.
As an ADD Coach, one of the most common complaints I hear from clients is about difficulty
being on time: for work, for appointments, for meetings, and even for fun events. It is
stressful for us, frustrating for others, and can cause problems in personal as well as
professional relationships. For parents, our out-the-door struggles often result is us being
impatient with our kids, and often starting the day off on a frantic and stressful note that we
don’t intend.
In this session, I’m going to talk about punctuality which, as an aspect of time management,
can be a big struggle for many of us with ADHD. We all have the same 24 hours in each day,
but some of us seem to make more of those hours than others do, right? Time management is
a topic for which many of my clients with ADHD come to me for help, but Time Management
is really not a single skill, rather it’s a complex set of skills and behaviors. There are lots of
different aspects of our lives, and different activities that come into play with how well we
manage time. How well we manage our calendars is one aspect, how well we manage our
tasks and the things we need to do is another. How long it takes to get things done, and how
well we estimate and judge the passage of time come into play as well. And all those aspects
of our lives can be intertwined with how punctual we are for the things we do every day.
We often hear the phrase, “Better Late than Never,” but that isn’t necessarily true for many
of us! Many of us are late often enough that it might sometimes be better not to show up at
all, and have some dramatic reason for being a no-show, than to show up late for the people
in our lives one more time! Those of you who are what I call “Chronically Tardy” know
exactly what I’m talking about!
So if you’re someone whose friends, family and co-workers expect to be late, and maybe even
tell you a start time that’s actually earlier than what is true in hopes that you’ll arrive ontime, this coaching session is for you! We’re going to talk about how our struggle with being
on-time affects our lives, and why those of us with ADHD tend to struggle with punctuality.
And you’re going to learn some tools to improve your ability to be on-time, and reduce the
stress in your life that comes from constantly being behind on time!
So, let’s start with …
You Can Be On-Time © Copyright 2015 Lynne Edris. All Rights Reserved
Page 1
How our Struggle with Punctuality Impacts us
Really, our struggles with being on-time can affect virtually every aspect of our lives.
When I was writing this session, I looked up the synonyms for the word “punctuality” because
I felt like I was using that word too much! I was actually quite surprised that the third
synonym listed for punctuality was actually “reliability”! Wow. To me, that’s huge. I think
of myself as someone people can rely on—that’s something I strive for, and something I value
in a person’s character. I would say that the people in my life know that they can always rely
on me to be there for them when they need me and to come through for them, but they
really can’t always rely on me to be 100% punctual. I try, and I’ve gotten significantly better
than I used to be, but I definitely would say that I’m not 100% punctual, 100% of the time. To
me, punctuality and reliability are two very different things—but apparently Webster doesn’t
think so!
And it seems that the rest of the world—the non-ADD world—thinks more like Webster. Being
chronically late can have a huge impact on us socially and on our interpersonal relationships.
People draw conclusions about us—about our character and our intentions when we are late.
No matter how good our intentions and how much we strive to be punctual, when we are late
(especially chronically late), people really do perceive us as “flaky”, inconsiderate or
disrespectful and, apparently, unreliable as well.
You may have heard me say before that ADHD is often described as a condition of good
intentions gone awry. I believe Dr. Edward Hallowell coined that phrase. Most of us with
ADHD honestly don’t intend to be disrespectful, inconsiderate or unreliable. Most of us with
ADD start every single day of our lives intending to be on time, intending to be reliable and
considerate, and the last thing we want to do is to let other people or ourselves down by
being late, yet again!
This can be one of the reasons that many of us with ADD struggle to keep close friendships,
and it can also cause us to have strain in our family relationships as well as at work and
school. There can be an incredible amount of stress around our ADD-related struggles with
punctuality—and it can affect us at home, at work, and in every aspect of our lives--When
we’re constantly on “high-alert” trying and struggling to be on time for our commitments.
Our struggles with punctuality also can have financial ramifications as well. For example,
those of us who live in areas where we rely on public transportation may find ourselves
spending money we hadn’t planned to on things like cab fare or parking. We pay late fees
and surcharges for things when have not taken care of on time. Many of us also know that we
may have been passed over for promotions or missed opportunities for career advancement
when we have problems with punctuality.
Over time, after years and years of struggling to be on-time and not being particularly
successful, our Self-Concept and self-esteem really start to take a beating. And you know, if
you’ve listened to any other sessions I’ve done, the negative self-talk and beliefs that can
become our reality do far more harm than any criticism we may receive from others. It can
become a vicious cycle, and it can really take its toll on all areas of our lives over time.
You Can Be On-Time © Copyright 2015 Lynne Edris. All Rights Reserved
Page 2
So, if we’re not intentionally inconsiderate or disrespectful, why do Individuals with ADHD
Struggle with Punctuality?
Why do Individuals with ADHD Struggle with Punctuality?
What causes a particular individual to struggle with punctuality is often a complex
hodgepodge of problems that can include: brain fog, bad habits, disorganization, poor sense
of time, poor sleep habits, etc. But much of it comes back to those hallmark characteristics
of ADHD
Our Distractibility gets in the way—obviously—when we lose track of what we’re supposed to
be doing and get sidetracked by something else. Like email, the television, other things that
need to be done--anything! The list of things that can be a potential distraction to someone
with ADHD is virtually endless!
Our Impulsivity can get in the way of us being on time—when we do things that we hadn’t
planned on or make thoughtless decisions (and by thoughtless, I mean not well thought out or
not thought-FULL). Like stopping to get just one thing at the store on the way to pick up a
child from sports practice, making us late and rushing to get an upset or worried child—or a
frustrated coach!
And, as if distractibility and impulsivity weren’t enough to make us constantly late, adding an
occasional bout of Hyper-focus can definitely sweeten the pot, so to speak!
So, our hallmark ADHD characteristics can definitely gen in our way, and also, those of us
with ADHD tend to have a generally Wonky Sense of time, overall. We struggle with judging
the flow of time (such as how quickly or how slowly time is passing), as well as with how long
tasks take (judging and remembering how long they have taken in the past, and estimating
how long they will take in the future).
I’ve heard it said that those of us with ADD tend to be “Time Blind”, and our sense of time is
somewhat subjective and situational as well. How quickly or how slowly time seems to be
passing may be affected by how interested we are in what’s going on at that moment. The
more boring something is, the more slowly time may seem to pass, and the more interesting
something is, the more quickly it passes.
When my kids were little, my husband used to tease me that my kids were never going to
learn to judge time because I use “mommy minutes!” My “mommy minutes” were either
shorter or longer than actual minutes, depending on what I was doing in the moment. For
example, If I was engaged in something (like talking to a friend while our kids play on the
playground), and I gave my kids the “5 minute” warning that it was almost time to leave, that
five minutes would be more like 20 minutes. If I was bored at the playground, and I gave my
kids the “5 minute” warning that it was getting to be time to leave, that five minutes would
be more like two! We used to joke about it, but he was definitely right! And we’ll talk more
about tools we can use to make sure those Mommy minutes are a bit more on-track!
Our ADD-related Executive Function Challenges also often get in the way of our timeliness.
As we discussed in the core coaching program, Executive functioning is the management
You Can Be On-Time © Copyright 2015 Lynne Edris. All Rights Reserved
Page 3
function of the brain that connects and prioritizes and integrates cognitive functions moment
by moment. It impacts such skills as:
•
•
•
•
Organizing information and time and space, such as for planning
Expressing oneself in written or spoken language
Starting and finishing tasks
Using internal self-talk to control one’s actions
And all of these skills come into play when we plan and, of course, being Punctual Requires a
good bit of Planning, doesn’t it? And Planning can be a struggle—to plan, we have to pause
(something that’s hard for many of us to do!), and we have to think through and organize lots
of information and details—for example, to be punctual for work, we need to think about
what time we need to get there, how long it will take us to get there, we have to plan for
traffic and other factors, we have to think through what needs to be done to get ready to
leave, how long all the things that comprise “getting ready” will take us, whether we have
gas, and so on and so on. There is a lot of planning, coordinating of information, and mental
organization that is required in being punctual. Not the kind of thing that comes as secondnature to many of us with ADHD.
So, if we’re working hard on being punctual, we’re planning, we’ve prepared what we can in
advance, we’re organized, we’re resisting distractions, we’re keeping our impulsivity in
check, we’re diligently watching the time, we remain focused, and we resist hyper-focus as
well, and maybe we’re on-schedule, and maybe we’ve even got a few minutes to spare, and
then it hits. . .
“One-More-Thingitis!”
This is a BIG one for me—and for many of my clients. When I am late, personally, it’s almost
always due to my chronic case of One-More-Thingitis!
I’m sure many of you can relate to this. One-More-Thingitis is when you try to squeeze in that
one last thing before you head out the door—that one more thing that puts you on the wrong
side of punctual! Maybe it’s a load of laundry, or cleaning up the kitchen, or checking email,
or whatever. But if you’re like me, and like many of my clients, you might be doing pretty
well at getting ready to go when you need to until you give into the temptation to do
squeeeeeeeeze in that one more little thing before you head out the door!
It’s the nail in the coffin when it comes to punctuality for many of us ADDers. Again, we have
the best of intentions, and usually what we’re trying to squeeze in isn’t something selfish or
indulgent, it’s something that needs to be taken care of!
Often, our One-More-Thingitis is a symptom of bigger problems. Yes, a big piece of it can be
related to our poor sense of time and our inability to estimate how long tasks take, but that’s
often just a piece of it. Our One-More-Thingitis is often Exacerbated by Poor Task
Management systems, and Poor Time-Management. When we’re not taking care of things
that need to be taken care of WHEN they need to be done, when we’re procrastinating and
not managing our to-dos and our time well, there is something of an avalanche effect. We
feel like we’re constantly behind the 8-ball, so to speak, and playing catch-up as we try to
cross things off on our to-do lists at the expense of our punctuality.
You Can Be On-Time © Copyright 2015 Lynne Edris. All Rights Reserved
Page 4
And part of the problem for many of us and very closely related to our One-More-Thingitis is
that many of us with ADHD develop an aversion that becomes almost a full-blown Fear of
Being EARLY! For most of us, the thought of being early and having to actually waste time
waiting for something is absolutely unconscionable! With all we have to do (with everything
we’re behind on), how can we possibly stand the thought of wasting time waiting, right?!
Some of this might be related to our aversion to being bored, as well—sort of a boredomphobia. I always say that boredom is like kryptonite for those of us with ADHD! And For many
of us, being late may actually be less aversive than being bored! We’ll talk more about this in
a bit when we talk about solutions. There are things you can do to address all these factors
to help you get out the door with less stress, and be on-time.
So, if we have all these characteristics that sort of stack the deck against us…
How can individuals with ADHD Improve their Punctuality?
Well, first and foremost, we need to look at our thinking, and we need to make some
changes! I’ve told you this before—coaching is not about one-size-fits-all solutions and
strategies. To approach punctuality challenges with my clients, the first thing we do is
address the thinking and belief part. And I like to start with having my clients look at their
thinking around the concept of punctuality and make some much-needed changes.
What does “On-Time” mean? This is one of those things that sounds so obvious, but it’s
almost always something that needs to be poked at a bit with my ADD clients. If you have an
appointment that starts at 8:00, any kind of appointment, what time should you be there for
that 8:00 appointment? If you’re thinking 8:00 or just a minute or five before, wrong answer!
I’d love to see a show a hands of everybody reading this: How many of you have been more
than 5 minutes early, and I mean waited for more than 5 minutes, before your last
appointment? Actually, I don’t need to see a show of hands—because I actually know the
answer! Having done this for a while, I’m pretty sure there would be fewer than 1 in 10 of
you with your hands up! So, we really need to take a look at what being ‘on-time” really
means.
Most of us really don’t give this much more than a superficial thought. If you’re like most of
us (including myself and my ADD clients), you might need to do some re-programming on this
subject.
On-time doesn’t mean that you arrive at the building at 7:59, or that you’re circling the block
or parking lot at 7:59. On-time doesn’t mean that you’re in the parking lot and out of your
car at 7:59. On-time doesn’t even mean that you blow in the door at 7:59 in a flurry of
frantic energy, needing to compose yourself and re-gather your wits. Honestly, on-time
means composed, prepared, focused, and ready to go at 7:59.
So, think about how you think about time when you’re scheduling appointments of all kinds.
Again, it sounds so obvious, but many of us don’t really think through what how long it really
takes to get somewhere. So, if my kids have practice at 5:30 at a place that’s a 15 minute
drive from my house, I need to leave my house by 5:15, right? Wrong! And that’s where so
many of us get ourselves into trouble. Even if we are organized and we leave the house
quote, “on-time,” we’re actually not leaving on-time!
You Can Be On-Time © Copyright 2015 Lynne Edris. All Rights Reserved
Page 5
I used to joke around that door from my kitchen to garage was actually a time warp! I need
to leave at 8:00. So, at 8:00, I grab my keys and purse and everything I need (which is all
ready to go right by the door because I’m really trying to be punctual), and I go out into the
garage, put the door up, open the car, put my things in the car, climb in, and when I put the
key in the ignition, it’s now 8:04 and I’m 4 minutes late, even though I left the house at 8:00,
right?! Not to mention that I haven’t even backed out of my driveway yet. You get where I’m
going with this, but it’s actually a really, really big problem for most of my clients, and a bit
of an A-Ha! when we start talking about it. Even if the stars and the planets are all aligned
and there is no traffic to speak of on your trip, and you really do get there in your estimated
15 minutes, You lose that same 4 or 5 minutes on the other of the trip as well—parking,
getting out, locking the car, putting the keys away, etc. So, your 15 minute trip is really
more like 25—if you’re lucky—and you’re 10 minutes late again!
This really sunk in for me several years ago, personally. Many of you have heard me talk
about my very-organized husband before, right?! Poor guy has no idea I talk about him on
these calls, but he’s been a great example of punctuality for me in the 25 years we’ve been
married. He’s the kind of person who tells me he’s going to be home at a certain time, and if
he’s more than 5 minutes later than he’s told me, I’m actually probably going to start to
worry! He’s always early. If he says he’ll be home at 5:15, he’s home at 5:05—never, ever a
minute late.
Well, until about 7 years ago, he worked crazy hours and traveled a lot, so I was always the
one who ran the kids to their activities. When he made a job change, and started to do more
of the shuttling, I noticed a big difference in the way we handled getting the kids to practice.
If my kids had to be at practice at 5:30, somewhere 15 minutes away, at 5:15, I was running
around like Henny Penny making sure they had their gear and trying to get them and their
stuff into the car—and honestly, there was usually quite a bit of yelling going on!
When my husband would take the kids to their 5:30 practice, 15 minutes away, he would tell
them they had to leave by 5:15 (just like I do), but he had everybody getting in the car by
5:00! The kids & I would be protesting, “You said 5:15! It’s not time yet! We’re not ready!”
To him, leaving at 5:15 means they’re out of the driveway by 5:15—not loading their gear in
the car. It’s a subtle distinction, but a very BIG difference in practicality. With him, the kids
would arrive to practice calm, focused, and ready to go. With me, the kids arrive to practice
frazzled (often without everything they need), with me stressed and feeling like the motherof-the-year for the insanity that it took to get them there!
Because I have ADD, too, and my own case of boredom-phobia, I’ve had to do a lot of work
on how I think about what constitutes being “on-time” and find ways to address my aversion
to being early and waiting! One of the things I’ve done is to make sure I always have
meaningful things to do! It’s not enough just to bring a book or magazine, because that still
feels like wasting time to me. I need to bring something to do that’s actually productive.
And what that is, is different all the time, but it’s something that I have gotten in the habit of
thinking of. With smart phones, there’s a lot more that we can get done in our down-time,
but some of us need more than that—that still might feel like idle time. So, I’ll bring my
laptop and work on a presentation or newsletter article, or something else that’s productive.
I have had clients who started keeping all their bill-paying supplies (envelopes, labels,
stamps, etc.) in a zipper binder or pouch, and they’ll grab their current bills and take care of
that when they’re waiting. Around the holidays, I keep my greeting cards and supplies
You Can Be On-Time © Copyright 2015 Lynne Edris. All Rights Reserved
Page 6
(labels, stamps, pens) in a tote bag that I take everywhere with me to work on while I’m
waiting. Last year I did all my holidays cards (with a little help from my kids) in waiting
rooms and kids’ sports practices. It’s a lot easier for me to be early, if I know I can be
productive and make good use of the time.
And it’s also important to think about how we get ready for things—what we can do in
advance to make it more likely that we are punctual. We’ll talk more about that when we
talk about routines.
But perhaps the most important thing we need to think about is why it matters to be punctual
to begin with!
Getting to the “Who” of Punctuality
Without addressing how being on-time matters, most of these tools and techniques become
useless! This is the part, when I’m coaching a client, where we dig at the “who” of being
punctual. I’ve talked about this in other self-coaching sessions. For us to make the kinds of
changes we want to make, and to make them last, it’s really important that we get down to
why it matters, to us, to be on-time. And this is going to be a little bit different for each of
you, depending on what’s important to you, and depending on your values.
Let me tell you what I mean with a personal example. I have tied my efforts to being
punctual to the things that are important to me—like setting a good example for my clients,
being someone on whom the people I love can rely, and modeling good habits for my kids. It
also helps to think about how much punctuality matters to my husband, as I want to honor
that. So, when evening comes and I’m exhausted, and I don’t feel like doing everything in my
evening routine, like getting ready for my next days’ appointments, I remind myself that, as
an ADD Coach, it would be disingenuous for me to blow it off, and then work with my clients
to do just the opposite! It’s very important for me to walk the walk if I’m going to talk the
talk! The same goes for parenting my kids. Authenticity is something I really value. If I have
the impulse to do that “one more thing” when I’m on my way to meet a friend, I remind
myself that he or she is “counting on me”, and I set a reminder for myself to do that thing
that was pulling me later. When I have the urge to respond to just one more email before I
go out to dinner with my husband, I remind myself that I will be causing him to feel anxious if
we’re late for our reservation. And it’s easier for me to let it go.
Tying your efforts to be punctual, doing what it takes to be on-time, to the things you value
will make it easier to sustain the work and create good habits and routines that will make it
easier in the long-run.
Practical Solutions
Now, from a practical side of things, some things you can do to improve your punctuality,
once you’ve addressed the “thinking” piece of it is to, first and foremost, ALWAYS wear a
watch, and put clocks everywhere in your home and office! I am absolutely aghast at how
many clients come to me with complaints about time management, but don’t wear a watch!
It really cracks me up, to tell you the truth! How can you manage something you can’t see—
especially with our ADD-related time-blindness?! So be honest with yourself—you know you
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have a wonky sense of time, and that you’re not always the best judge the best at keeping
track of time, so do yourself a favor, and always wear a watch!
And for many of us, watches and clocks with an Analog Clock face (you know, one with gold
old fashioned hands that tell the time rather than a digital face) can be much easier to read,
and will enable you to much more easily see the passage of time. When I see a digital 7:58, I
think “Great! 2 minutes. I can do x, y, AND z in two minutes!” When I look at my analog
watch at 7:58, I think, “Shoot! I’d better get out of here!” It actually makes a much bigger
difference than you think it might.
And for those of you who are thinking, “I don’t need a watch, I just use my Cell Phone.” I’d
like you to think twice about that also! If you’re in a meeting, or even a casual lunch with
someone, picking up your cell phone, unlocking the screen and checking the time looks rude,
even if you don’t mean it to be! In certain circumstances it looks like you are totally
disinterested, and it can also lead you to getting sucked into your email, text messages, etc.
and lead to you tuning out. It’s so much less obnoxious to glance at your watch. The one
exception to this is that I did download on my phone a clock app that will put an analog clock
face on my phone screen, and it doesn’t go away when the phone screen locks or goes to
sleep—it stays up and on. This can actually be better than my watch if I’m in a one-on-one
meeting, because I can keep it in both our lines of site.
And I have clocks all over my house—including in my bathroom, strategically placed above the
door so that I can see it from the shower! Of course, there’s a clock on my computer screen,
but I also keep an analog clock on my desk at all times as well. In fact, there are very few
places in my house that don’t have a direct view of a clock!
And, whatever kind of watch or clocks you use, do yourself a favor and Set them to the Real
Time! So many of us play the game where we set our clocks a few minutes ahead to try to
keep us on time, but what it really does is just makes us do the math, and it lulls us into a
false sense that we’re more punctual than we really are! You know you’re smarter than
that. You can’t trick yourself into being on time. You just have to do the work!
And Timers & Alarms are a couple really handy, and inexpensive, tools for being on-time. ! I
like to use variety of timers so that I am less likely to become immune to them. You can buy
timers that count up, timers that count down, timers that vibrate, timers that make just about any
tone you can imagine, timers with magnets on the back, clips, etc. I have bought many at the
dollar store, just so that I have a variety—I’m careful not to get too used to the sound of any one
timer so that it becomes something I can ignore. (Like the one on my kitchen microwave—I
hear it so often when I’m cooking, that I’ll often ignore it completely if I use it for something
else!). I actually have them all over my house, and use them very often. I have two that I keep
on my desk at all times—one that I can set to vibrate or chime, and counts up as well as down.
The reason I have a second is that the beeping tone of my preferred timer is not quite
obnoxious or jarring enough for me when I’m really, really sucked into and hyper-focusing on
something. So I have a second timer that is much louder and has somewhat of a shrill tone to
it. I call that one my “drop-dead” timer because that’s the one that I set as a secondary reminder
of when I absolutely positively have no more time, and I need to stop whatever I am doing—
when it’s the “drop dead” deadline for me to stop what I’m doing. I usually put it across the room
from where I am so that I have to get up to turn it off. I dislike the tone so much that I will set the
You Can Be On-Time © Copyright 2015 Lynne Edris. All Rights Reserved
Page 8
quieter or vibrating timer to go off a few minutes before I need to stop what I’m doing—so that I
have enough time to transition out of what I’m doing, take notes on where I’ve stopped, or
otherwise wrap up, and I can finish what I’m doing in time to get up and turn the obnoxious one
off! I’ve found it to be particularly helpful when I am working at night on something and want to
make sure I don’t get sucked in and stay up too late. The obnoxious timer is very jarring
(especially if I put it on my metal filing cabinet!) and will wake everyone in the house if I let it go
off. I’ve trained myself to make that work very well for me. A key to that, of course, is knowing
myself well enough to know when I’m going to need it—what kinds of things and what
circumstances are most likely for me to lose track of time.
Like analog clock or watch faces, other kinds of visual timers can also be helpful. Many of you
have heard of the “time timer”, I’m sure! You can find out more about it at timetimer.com. It’s a
graphic clock that shows the passage of time as a red wedge. You can buy them in all different
shapes and sizes, as well as downloadable versions for your computer or phone. If you can
picture it, it makes the face of the timer like a pie, and it puts a red wedge on the face of the
timer that grows smaller as time passes—so that if you set if for 15 minutes, it’s a red wedge
that appears from the 12 to the 3, and decreases in size as time passes. I hope that makes
sense! They have videos on the website that show you how they work, and it’s a great way to
see the passage of time if you’re very visual, and they’re terrific for kids as well. Again, you can
find it at www.timetimer.com
And back to watches again to help us with time, any basic Alarm Watch can be a really helpful,
low-tech, and inexpensive tool to help with ADD at home and at work. Many of them have
multiple alarms that can be set to remind us of everything—from medication to bedtimes and
everything in between!
External reminders are our friends!
There’s no shame, embarrassment or weakness implied in using the tools I’m talking about in
this session. They are simply tools to improve your productivity and make your life easier!
That’s why our cell phones have so many different alarm and reminder features and apps these
days!
Don’t be afraid to use those alarms for reminders, and change up the tones from time to time so
that they don’t become so familiar that you become immune to them!
Now, the next tool or trick I use often and have seen many clients have great success with is to
use a timer to time tasks you do frequently.
Task-Timing Exercises
It can be very eye-opening! Timing the things you do when you’re getting ready to go
somewhere (shower, hair, makeup, breakfast, etc.) may give you some new insight into how
much time you really need to get ready, but timing everyday tasks—especially those tasks that
you may be trying to squeeze in at the last minute before you go somewhere can be extremely
enlightening! Several years ago, I started timing myself doing the things that were often making
me late: for me, things like loading and emptying the dishwasher, and folding laundry, for
example. I was very surprised at some of the results, and it was good information to have so
that I can make mindful decisions when I’m faced with a couple extra minutes! Now I know it
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can take anywhere from 15-25 minutes to fold a load of white laundry, but only 5-10 to fold
towels, so I can make a thoughtful choice when I’m trying to get ready to go somewhere.
It can also be helpful to periodically time routes to your frequently traveled destinations! You
may be surprised that your 10 minute trip to the store is actually closer to 15—and that extra
time round-trip can make all the difference in the world in our busy lives!
A big Part of the benefit of these task-timing exercises is to improve your ability to estimate
the passage of time. I often recommend parents of kids with ADHD to play time estimation
games with their kids to help them develop a better sense of the flow of time. Estimating the
time it will take to do something or get somewhere both improves awareness, and also
improves our ability to judge time conceptually.
Your Alarm Clock
And one last tip for helping you get out the door, on time, and with less stress is to really give
some thought to how you’re using your Alarm Clock in the morning. Many, if not most of us
with ADD struggle to get up and get moving in the morning—I know I’m not alone here. This
has been a struggle for me for as long as I can remember! I’m sure I drove my mother crazy for
years! So for me, an effective alarm clock is worth its weight in gold! For some of us, your runof-the-mill alarm clock may not cut it, and something more innovative can be a great help.
First and foremost, many of us need to Re-think the way we use the snooze function on our
alarm clocks, or even that we use them at all! If you’re one who tends to hit that snooze
until you’re really pressed for time, you may need to be honest with yourself and take a new
approach!
When the time for which we initially set our alarms is a lot earlier than when we really need
to get up, to intentionally be able to snooze repeatedly, we’re robbing ourselves of quality
sleep! If you set your alarm, for example, for 30 minutes before you really intend or need to
get up so that you can hit the snooze over and over again for 30 minutes, you’re actually
missing out on 30 minutes of additional quality sleep! It may be worth just setting your alarm
for the time you really need to get up, and then making yourself work to turn it off—like
putting the clock across the room and right next to the bathroom so that you have to get up
and you’re just a few steps from the shower before you turn it off!
There are lots of alarm clocks on the market these days that are designed for those of us who
are slow waker-uppers! Of course there are vibrating alarm clocks, but There are also
different kinds of clocks that make you work to turn them off—like jigsaw puzzle clocks (which
turn off only after you put back together its puzzle pieces), the KuKu Alarm Clock (that’s KUKU),
(which only shuts off after you collect all the plastic eggs that it scatters across the floor when it
rings) , and Clocky (CLOCKY) , which rolls off your nightstand and spins around on the floor
until you get up and turn it as well as a flying alarm clocks that releases a sort of rotor
attachment that flies around the room and turns off only after the rotor is returned to the base.
All of these are designed for those of us who have a difficult time waking up and staying awake!
Some of us, though, prefer a more gentle approach such as clocks that use light to mimic the
sunrise and illuminate your room to wake you up more naturally. There are lots of innovative
alarm clocks out there to help make getting up on time a little easier, but if you’re really
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struggling to get up every day, you may want to examine y our sleep habits, and make sure
you don’t need to make some big changes there. I’ve talked about this is previous sessions,
so I can’t really dig into what good sleep habits for ADD here, but it is very important to make
sure you’re getting regular and sufficient sleep. The quality and quantity of our sleep can
significantly affect how well we can manage our ADHD symptoms, as well as the effectiveness
of our treatment. And if a good sleep routine doesn’t make a big difference for you, you may
want to talk to your doctor to rule out the need for a sleep study or additional interventions.
The Importance of Self-Awareness
One important piece I haven’t addressed that can help you come up with the best approach
to improving your punctuality is the importance of Self-awareness – Looking at What already
works for a client is a very important piece of helping them develop the kinds of
individualized ways of doing things that will help them be relying on their strengths to better
manage their ADD challenges. So, a little introspection is really important here as well.
You’re probably not late for everything? What are you punctual for? If you wouldn’t dare be
late for work, but often keep friends or family members waiting for personal gatherings, think
about what you’re doing differently. Use those same strategies for all appointments—
regardless of the type.
It’s also important to take a good hard look at what you might be doing that isn’t serving you
particularly well in your quest to be on-time. So, be honest with yourself and think about
what you are doing that makes you late. For example, what are YOUR time drains? Do you
tend to get sucked into email or the internet when you’re trying to get out the door? Do you
always lose track of time vegging out to your morning new show with your coffee in the
morning? Do you get sidetracked by cleaning up? Think about where you get off-track, and
then be honest about whether or not you may need to establish some new “policies” for
improving your punctuality. An example of one of my punctuality policies, for lack of a
better phrase, is that I know that I can’t sit down at my computer without some sort of
external something that’s going to indicate my stopping point—whether it’s setting a timer or
two or knowing that it’s ok to start looking at my email because my next client will be calling
in a few minutes. Whatever your personal hurdles are, be honest with yourself, and realistic
about what you need to do differently to make yourself more likely to be on time.
And, finally, I would be remiss to talk about punctuality and being on-time without talking a
little bit about the power of routines and habits in helping you here!
The Power of Auto-Pilot
Having a well-entrenched, helpful routine of what you do every evening to prepare for the
next day can help you more than you can imagine! Your Evening Routine is important for
setting the tone for the next day! What you do as part of your evening routine can make all
the difference in your punctuality the next day, and this is where the planning really comes
into play. if you know you’re spacey in the morning or tend to run late, do absolutely
everything you can the night before (even for church) from laying out clothes, makeup & hair
stuff to having lunches packed, and your wallet or purse, keys, and everything else together
and ready to grab and go. What you do the night before can and will make all the difference
in your morning! Everything that’s left, everything that absolutely cannot be done the night
before, should be part of a morning routine so that you do is eventually on autopilot and
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don’t have to rely on your foggy brain to guide (or misguide!) you. (This is where checklists
can really come in handy—for adults as well as for kids!)
I talk in other sessions about the benefit of routine and what I like to call “putting your life on
auto-pilot,” and I don’t have time to go into this in detail in this session, but do what you can
to eliminate the thinking in the morning! When we have a solid routine for what we do in
the morning to get ready for the day, we don’t wake up and have to think about how much
time the things we need to do will take, and when we’re going to squeeze them in. So, start
with 3-5 things MAX that you absolutely want to do every morning, think through any order in
which they should happen, and how long they take, and create a morning routine check list
for yourself. If you can laminate it or put it in a sheet protector, you can check the items off
as you go with an wipe-off marker, and re=use it every morning. After about a month or so of
consecutively using the checklist, if you feel like the things on the list are becoming nobrainers, you can add another 1-3 steps that you would like to add to the morning routine.
Keep it simple, and go slow with this. Same thing for the evening. 3-5 things max to start
with, and adding 1-3 more after about a month of consistency and feeling comfortable.
And thinking about what gets in your way of being on-time is going to be a good key to what
kinds of things should be part of that evening routine. For example, if you find yourself often
running behind because you’re looking for things like keys, wallets, cell phones, etc., placing
everything you’ll need for the next day in some sort of consistent “launching pad” location as
part of your evening routine can be incredibly helpful. Those things can go on your checklist
under preparing for leaving: Do I have my cell phone? Glasses? An address and directions and
the telephone number of the person you're meeting—in case you get lost or run into traffic.
Think through all the things you can do to prepare for the next day, and make them part of
your evening checklist so it becomes a no-brainer the next morning.
Also, if you’re like me and you struggle in the morning with low energy and brain fog, it can
also help tremendously to do something to get your blood pumping a bit first thing. If you
can’t squeeze in a full workout for even 20-30 minutes, or a walk or jog, try just 10 minutes
of yoga, or a few jumping jacks or push-ups. Get creative, and do anything you can to get the
blood pumping to the brain! Along the same lines, it may Sound obvious to some of you, but
it isn’t always, that some of us will be best to jump right in that shower the minute we turn
off the alarm to get the blood flowing. Many of my clients will want to grab a cup of coffee
before they shower, and that often leads to them getting lost in the morning fog on the way
to the shower! Again, the order of the things you do in the morning can be something that’s
part of that morning routine checklist.
Well, as usual, I’ve covered an awful lot of information in this session. Again, what causes
one person to struggle to be on-time out the door is going to be a little bit different and
unique to that person. Tardiness is often really a complex set of behaviors that can be
address with simple changes to the contributing components.
I hope I’ve given you some things to think about and a good jumping-off place for you to make
some changes in the way you’re doing things so that you can improve your punctuality and
reduce the stress you may have around constantly racing against time!
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Now, as your coach, it’s important that I give you some Fieldwork for you to do after this
session so that you can put into practice some of the things I’ve talked about here. You can
find your Fieldwork in the companion workbook on the following pages.
I want to thank you for listening to this session, and I wish you the best in learning to be OnTime with ADHD!
Until next time,
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You Can Be OnOn-Time © Fieldwork
Your guide to being On-Time with ADHD, and Improving Punctuality!
1. What is Your Struggle with Punctuality Costing You?
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
2. Which of your ADHD Characteristics Get in the Way of Being On-Time?
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
3. How Does Your “One-More-Thingitis” Show up?
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
4. Think About What “On-Time” Means to You. What need to change?
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
5. Get to the “Who” of Being On-Time! What does it matter?
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
1.
6. How are you Using Your Alarm Clock? How are your sleep habits?
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
7. Self-awareness is Key! What are YOUR time drains?
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
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8. Where do you get Off-Track?
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
9. What New “Policies” Will You Set for Punctuality?
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
10. What can you put on Auto-Pilot?
Morning Routine:
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
Evening Routine:
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
11. Fieldwork
a. What are your punctuality road blocks?
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
b. What are you willing to do differently?
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
c. What works?
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
d. Focus on progress and effort!
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Celebrate!
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