The Nexus No Name Newsletter
Number Forty One
February 2014
“February, when the days of winter seem endless and no amount of wistful
recollecting can bring back any air of summer.”
We are pleased to let everyone know that at last we
have had the roof repaired and haven’t had any more
l ea ks de spi t e t he ver y heavy r ai n we have
had recently. The vinyl has been laid in the kitchen
and the rest of The Hub carpeted.
The breakfast bar in the kitchen.
The computer room.
The quiet area.
The kitchen area.
The new toilet
No more moon
This question was posed by Steven Nairn from
Edinburgh in a book called “Does Anything Eat
Wasps and a 101 Questions” which was printed in the
popular last Word Section of the New Scientist
magazine, it was just one of the many books I found
on my many charity shop visits with Lisa C from
Birch House.
What would be the effect on the Earth if
an alien spaceship came along and dragged
the moon away?
Any alien spaceship stealing the moon would unleash
a devastating chain of events that would ultimately
spell the end for life on Earth.
The most immediate difference would be the disappearance of the tides. Both the sun and moon influence the tides on Earth, but the moon is the dominant
force. Remove the moon and the daily rush of the
tides would recede to a gentle ripple.
The next omen of doom would be wild swings in
the Earth's rotational axis from a position almost perpendicular to the ecliptic plane all the way to being
practically parallel to it. These swings would provoke
drastic climate changes: when the axis points straight
up, each point on the globe would receive a constant
amount of heat throughout the year but, when the axis
lies parallel to the ecliptic, Earthlings would spend six
months of the year sweltering under the unending
blaze of the sun, only to spin round and shiver for the
next six months, hidden on the frigid surface of the
Earth's dark side.
Of all calamities, though, the creature to be pitied
first is the marine organism called 'nautilus'.
This mollusc lives in an elegant shell shaped like a
perfect spiral partitioned off into compartments. The
nautilus only lives in the outermost partition, and each
day adds a new layer to its shell. At the end of each
month, when the moon has completed one revolution
around Earth, the nautilus abandons its current
compartment, closes it up with a partition, and moves
into a new one. Scientists have proved that the number
of layers making up a chamber are directly linked to
the number of days it takes the moon to circle the
Earth. Remove the moon and the nautilus lies
stranded, forever locked in the same chamber and
wishing ruefully for the days when it could look forward to a new home.
Andrew Turpin New Moat, Pembrokeshire.
SOME FACTS ABOUT THE MOON
The leading explanation for how the moon formed
was that a giant impact knocked the raw ingredients
for the moon off the primitive molten Earth and into
orbit. Scientists have suggested the impactor was
roughly 10 percent the mass of Earth, about the size of
Mars.
The moon very likely has a very small core just 1 to 2
percent of the moon's mass and roughly 420 miles
(680 km) wide. It likely consists mostly of iron, but
may also contain large amounts of sulfur and other
elements.
Its rocky mantle is about 825 miles (1,330 km) thick
and made up of dense rocks rich in iron and
magnesium. Magmas in the mantle made their way to
the surface in the past and erupted volcanically for
more than a billion years — from at least four billion
years ago to fewer than three billion years past.
The crust on top averages some 42 miles (70 km)
deep. The outermost part of the crust is broken and
jumbled due to all the large impacts it has received, a
shattered zone that gives way to intact material below
a depth of about 6 miles (9.6 km).
Like the four inner planets that orbit the earth, the
moon is rocky. It's pockmarked with craters formed by
asteroid impacts millions of years ago. Because there
is no weather, the craters have not eroded.
The average composition of the lunar surface by
weight is roughly 43 percent oxygen, 20 percent
silicon, 19 percent magnesium, 10 percent iron,
3 percent calcium, 3 percent aluminum, 0.42 percent
chromium, 0.18 percent titanium and 0.12 percent
manganese.
The moon has a very thin atmosphere, so a layer of
dust or a footprint can sit undisturbed for centuries.
And without much of an atmosphere, heat is not held
near the planet, so temperatures vary wildly. Daytime
temperatures on the sunny side of the moon reach 273
degrees F (134 C); on the dark side it gets as cold as
minus 243 F (minus 153 C).
SILLY JOKES
We haven’t had any silly jokes for a long time in the newsletter so here’s a whole page full
Why doesn't the sea spill over the earth?
Because it's tied!
Who was the Black Prince?
The son of Old King Cole!
Did you hear about the mad scientist who invented a
gas that could burn through anything?
No, what about him?
Now he's trying to invent something to hold it in!
Where do snowmen go to dance?
A snowball!
Where does a general keep his armies?
Up his sleevies!
Why did the burglar take a shower?
He wanted to make a clean getaway!
What kind of fish can't swim?
Dead ones!
How do Welsh people eat cheese?
Caerphilly!
What is the most slippery country in the world?
Greece!
What is the strongest bird?
A crane!
What is the smelliest city in America?
Phew York!
What did the fireman's wife get for Christmas?
A ladder in her stocking!
Who was the best actor in the bible?
Samson, he brought the house down!
What cake wanted to rule the world?
Atilla the Bun!
What is posthumous work?
Something written by someone after they are dead!
What has a bottom at the top?
I don't know?
Your legs!
What is a skeleton?
Bones, with the person off!
What might you eat in Paris?
The trifle tower!
Which Elizabethan sailor could stop bikes?
Sir Francis Brake!
Have you ever seen a man eating tiger?
No, but in the cafe next door I once saw
a man eating chicken!
What is the quickest way to double your money?
Fold it in half!
What do you get if you cross a Scottish l
legend and a bad egg?
The Loch Ness Pongster!
What's the nearest thing to silver?
The Lone Ranger's bottom!
This morning my dad gave me soap
flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast.
I bet you were mad.
Mad? I was foaming at the mouth!
What sort of animal is a slug?
A snail with a housing problem!
What did one virus say to another?
Stay away! I think I've got penicillin!
What does "Minimum" mean?
A very small mother!
What is an archaeologist?
Someone who's career is in ruins!
What is hail?
Hard boiled rain!
Why are astronauts successful people?
Because they always go up in the world!
How do you make milk shake?
Give it a good scare!
Do you know the time?
No, we haven't met yet!
What sleeps at the bottom of the sea?
A kipper!
Waiter, this soup tastes funny?
Then why aren't you laughing!
What do you get if you cross a US President with a
shark?
Jaws Washington!
Why is it not safe to sleep on trains?
Because they run over sleepers!
Why do you keep doing the backstroke?
I've just had lunch and don't want to swim on a full
stomach!
How do we know that Joan of Arc was French?
She was maid in France!
Who invented underground tunnels?
A mole!
Why did the clock get sick?
It was run down!
What is the best day of the week to sleep?
Snooze-day!
How many rotten eggs does it take to make a
stink bomb?
A phew!
What do cannibals eat for breakfast?
Buttered host!
What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams!
What does "Maximum" mean?
A very big mother!
What is full of holes but can still hold water?
A sponge!
Why is perfume obedient?
Because it is scent wherever it goes!
Where do flies go in winter?
To the glass foundry to be turned into
bluebottles!
Why did the king go to the dentist?
To get his teeth crowned!
How do you prevent a Summer cold?
Catch it in the Winter!
What button won't you find in a tailors shop?
Belly button!
Why didn't the banana snore?
Because it didn't want to wake up the rest of
the bunch!
If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana
make?
Slippers!
Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?
He wanted to find Pluto!
What happened when the wheel was invented?
It caused a revolution!
How do you cure a headache?
Put your head through a window
and the pane will just disappear!