Present ideas persuasively in informal letters
My learning objectives
To learn how to use full stops
correctly
To learn how to use apostrophes
correctly
Improve your accuracy
Full stops
Make sure you can use full stops correctly.
RULE
Use a full stop at the end of a
complete sentence.
For example:
Do not put too much information on your site .
It is important to think about safety .
Apostrophes
Many students make mistakes in using apostrophes. Here is the rule for using
apostrophes that replace missing letters (these are sometimes called ‘apostrophes
of omission’).
Make sure you
can use both types
of apostrophe correctly.
Look back to page 58
to remind yourself
of the rule on using
apostrophes that replace
missing prepositions.
RULE
Use an apostrophe when
you are shortening two
words into one word. The
apostrophe goes above
where a letter or letters
have been missed out.
For example:
I am  I ’ m
He does not  He doesn ’ t
ACTIVITY
1 Shorten each pair of words into one word using apostrophes.
is not
he is
they are
dare not
cannot
what is
I would
2 Read this extract from a student’s letter.
Im worried about how much information youre putting on your site, all that stuff
about your age (which isnt true anyway) and what you like to do, I think you are
giving too much away and if you arnt careful youll have lots of ‘friends’ who arnt
friends at all but creepy men. Honestly Jasmine, you realy should think about
your privacy levels, you know the provider will change them for you but youll
have to give your proper age.
3 Use what you have learnt about how to use full stops and apostrophes to spot
the errors in the extract.
4 Rewrite the extract correctly, and check carefully to make sure you have not
missed any errors.
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Practice Writing tasks
TASK
1 One of your friends has become involved in a gang. At the moment
he is not breaking the law, but you are worried about the future. His
parents know nothing about it. You cannot email or text him privately,
so you have decided to send him a letter explaining your concerns.
You may wish to include the following points:
••
••
••
••
••
••
That he has many other friends he can turn to.
That he may go to court for his involvement in the gang’s activities.
The effect of a criminal record on future college and/or job prospects.
What his parents would say/do if they found out.
What you think he should do.
Any other ideas you may have.
Write your letter.
TASK
2 You have recently moved to a new area and have started at a new
school. Write a letter to a friend from your old school giving your
impressions of your new situation.
You may like to include the following points:
••
••
••
••
••
••
Information about your new house and the area in general.
How your family are settling in.
What you think of your new school.
Any new friends you have made so far.
Things you miss from your old home and area.
Anything else you feel is appropriate.
Write your letter.
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Practice Writing tasks: student answers
Study the two examples of informal letters written by students in response to the
examination-style Task 2 on page 75. Use the examiner’s comments to help you to assess
and improve your own writing.
Student A FAIL 7
Informal sign on and off are correct
but her own address is missing, so the
format is not completely correct.
✓ Dear Jane
I have now settled into my new home and school. The school is quite good but the
teachers are much stricter and the lessons seem very hard, 7 it was difficult to
make new friends and I havn’t 7 got many yet though there is one girl who has been
Some content
kind to me and shown me around a bit. There isnt 7 any youth clubs around here
not relevant for
and the place is a bit posh compared with where we used to live. 7 I cant practice
the audience.
my dance routines at lunchtime in school because they dont seem to like kids
doing anything like that. My brother Kyle 7 doesnt like his primary school because
Many errors
hes missing his friends. Im missing you as well as there isnt any really nice people
in sentence
living near me who go to my school, the neighbours are old and they have allready
structure,
complained to my mum about the noise of my music. Ive got a bigger bedroom though
punctuation
and thats nice, it has lovly pink curtains and a thick carpet, the windows look onto
and spelling.
the street and so I can see whose 7 about. Write soon,
✓ Love
Informal sign on and
off are correct.
Maria xxx
Information is not organised, for example
comments on friendships appear
throughout the letter. Following the
structure in the task could have helped.
Examiner summary
The tone of the letter is suitably friendly, but the student shows that she has not thought carefully about her audience
when she includes information they would already know, such as the name of her brother and the reference to ‘where
we used to live’. The content is not well organised – it jumps around the different aspects that should be covered.
However, the student is clear about her purpose. The letter lacks a suitable format at the beginning, and ends abruptly.
It is also too short. This would not gain a Level 2 pass for ‘Content and organisation’.
Punctuation errors, including comma splicing and apostrophe misuse, are common in the letter. A number of simple
words are misspelt. Careful checking would have reduced the number of such errors. This would not gain a Level 2 pass
for ‘Sentence structure, punctuation and spelling’.
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Writing
Student B PASS 3
✓ 27 Southam Road
Correct format.
Newcastle
NE99 2BN
29th May 2010
✓ Hi Jared
Correct format.
✓ Thought I’d drop you a line and tell you how I’m getting on even
though you have probably forgotten who I am by now! ✓
Information is
✓ Well, I’m here and a bit settled. It’s not like being in London
organised into though and I’m missing those nights out we had at the football
club. They don’t understand up here that Arsenal is a much better
paragraphs
and everything team than Newcastle. Still, one lad I’ve met has promised to take
in the task is
me to St James Park when the Gunners come up to visit. Bit
covered.
worrying, I’ll be a lone voice and lucky to escape with my life if I wear
my red scarf!✓
✓ School’s not bad. They are an OK bunch and they soon
welcomed me into the Under16 team when they saw my goalscoring skills in the lunchtime kick about! ✓ It’s good to have girls
Strong
sense of
around too – you don’t know what you’re missing going to a singleaudience,
sex school! ✓ Luckily they’re doing similar courses to the ones we
with
were doing in the old school so I have fitted in quite well. ✓ Not
appropriate
been kicked out yet anyway, though the Head is a bit scary! ✓
tone and
✓ The new house is good! Bigger than our old one and I’ve got a
content.
room to myself – no more listening to my brother snoring! There’s
plenty of space for you to come and visit. The neighbourhood is a
Information is bit quiet and there are no other kids around that I’ve met, but I’ll
organised into soon make more friends from the football team.
Mum is running around like mad trying to organise us all, but Dad
paragraphs
and everything just sits watching the football as he always has. Julie loves school
because she is in the same one as me and there are boys.
in the task is
covered.
Time to eat. Keep in touch. Sorry to miss the game on Saturday,
✓ Cheers
Sam
Strong sense of
audience, with
appropriate tone
and content.
Points are
developed
with additional
information.
Correct format.
Examiner summary
The letter has a suitably friendly and chatty tone and the information is appropriate. There
is a very good sense of engagement with the task and, by referring to shared knowledge
and experiences, the writer is clearly aware of his audience. The purpose is clear and the
format accurate. This would gain a pass at Level 2 for ‘Content and organisation’.
There are no punctuation or spelling errors and the sentence structures are varied. This
would easily gain a Level 2 pass for ‘Sentence structure, punctuation and spelling’.
Peer/Self-assessment
What have you have learnt
about writing an informal
letter? Make notes under
the headings: audience,
tone, format and purpose.
Is there anything you still
need to improve?
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