What does it mean to be a resident?
Charushree Prasad, PGY1, Dalhousie University
What does it mean to be a “Resident”? I’ve always wondered if perhaps the word originated
as a reference to the doctors who always stayed in-house, or “resided,” in the hospital. It’s
true that sometimes the hospital wards start looking more familiar than home; the call
room beds and kitchens on the wards visited more frequently than our own beds and
kitchens…
It’s only been a few months of residency, and time has flown by. Day 1 – I was really
fortunate as I had a formal orientation; many colleagues did not have that privilege. I
learned where the wards were, how my pager worked, how to get into the dictation
system… And now, it’s day 93. I am running around seeing patients, writing admission
notes and orders, following up on bloodwork and getting ready to discharge patients. All
the while living at the beck and call of my beloved pager (why was I excited to receive it
again?!).
There are so many great things about residency that I’ve lost track. First of all, doing what I
love. Seeing amazing children every day, playing with them, helping them with their
medical issues, and learning from and working with incredible families and colleagues. I
enjoy learning in a self-directed manner, hands-on and practical – through an active
process, rather than a didactic lecture that didn’t really stick. There are new and different
things every day: just when I feel I’ve gotten comfortable in a skill, something changes and I
go right back to the beginning to face the challenge yet again, this time maybe just a little
more prepared. It keeps me on my toes. My fellow residents and staff are incredible people
– great mentors, wonderful friends to learn from and to hang out with. I love having
independence in my thought process, while being able to rely on my seniors for support
and guidance…I could go on.
There are a few tough parts as well, don’t get me wrong. One of them being the fact that at
the end of the day (sometimes the middle!) some days I am just so tired I crawl into bed
and don’t study like I had planned, or miss out on meeting friends, or speaking with my
family. Sleep is a very precious commodity that I now greatly respect. Also, the emotional
toll from an increasing level of responsibility as well as dealing with sad or difficult
situations is hard to process occasionally. Not everyone around is always understanding of
your level of ignorance, and not everyone is kind and willing to help you (a smile goes a
long way though to get them on your side!).
So what does it mean to be a resident? How do I create meaning in what I do?
I remind myself of the first time I picked up a newborn with confidence and the satisfaction
of getting the femoral pulses on my first try. The first time when a mother heartily agreed
to have her child’s vaccinations updated and told her children as I was leaving – “now
wasn’t that a lovely doctor?” The first time when I became a mock code team leader in
Simulation and my team members and I “saved” the mannequin from supraventricular
tachycardia. The first time I escaped from the hospital at a decent time and managed to get
in a workout, a chat with family, some coffee and a study session on Wilms tumours all in
one day.
I have decided residency is about a lot of firsts. There are first good moments. There are
first bad moments. But the best part is, there are a lot of seconds too…second chances,
second opportunities to heal and be healed. And of course, second helpings of cheese at
Grand Rounds!