Rapunzel
By
Gerald P. Murphy
Rapunzel and Nun Fun Copyright (c) 2009 By Gerald P. Murphy
CAUTION. Professionals and Amateurs are hereby warned that performances of
RAPUNZEL or NUN FUN in whole, or in part, is subject to payment of a royalty.
It is fully protected under the copyright laws of The United States of America, and
of all countries covered by the International Copyright Union (including the
Dominion of Canada and the rest of the British Commonwealth) and of all
countries covered by the Pan-American Copyright Convention, the Universal
Copyright Convention, the Beane Convention, and of all countries with which the
United States has reciprocal copyright relations. All rights, including without
limitation professional/amateur stage rights, motion picture, recitation, lecturing,
public reading, radio broadcasting, television, video or sound recording, all other
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information storage and retrieval systems, photocopying, and the rights of
translation into foreign languages are strictly reserved. Particular emphasis is
placed upon the matter of readings, permission of which must be obtained from the
Author in writing.
The English language stock and amateur stage performance rights in the United
States, its territories, possessions and Canada for RAPUNZEL or NUN FUN are
controlled exclusively by Next Stage Press. No professional or nonprofessional
performance of the Play may be given without obtaining in advance written
permission and paying the requisite fee. Inquiries concerning production rights
should be addressed to Gene Kato, and sent via e-mail to.
[email protected]
SPECIAL NOTE
Anyone receiving permission to produce RAPUNZEL or NUN FUN is required to
give credit to the Author as sole and exclusive Author of the Play on the title page
of all programs distributed in connection with performances of the Play and in all
instances in which the title of the Play appears for purposes of advertising,
publicizing or otherwise exploiting the Play and/or a production thereof. The name
of the Author must appear on a separate line, in which no other name appears,
immediately beneath the title and in size of type equal to 50% of the size of the
largest, most prominent letter used for the title of the Play. No person, firm, or
entity may receive credit larger or more prominent than that accorded the Author.
2 Rapunzel and Nun Fun No nuns or long-haired princesses were harmed in the
writing of these plays.
3 Rapunzel and Nun Fun Rapunzel
Characters
Mother – F
Father - M
Gardener – M or F
Enchantress - F
Cardoon – peasant- M or F
Kale – peasant – M or F
Rapunzel - F
Prince Simon – M
Princess Mordant – F
King – M (doubling possible)
Queen – F (doubling possible)
Prince Theodore – M (doubling possible)
4 Rapunzel and Nun Fun RAPUNZEL
(At rise, the Husband and the very pregnant Wife, dressed as peasants,
enter stage right bringing out a sturdy bench to downstage centre.)
Husband. This better be good!
Wife. Oh, for goodness sake, you make it sound like I’m torturing you!
Husband. You know I’m apprehensive about bothering the witch!
Wife. She’s not a witch. She’s an enchantress.
Husband. So, what’s the difference?
Wife. I have no idea, but I’m not about to quibble with the old witch!
Husband. Enchantress!
Wife. (Climbing up on bench and peering into the garden/audience.)
Whatever she is, she has a wonderful garden.
Husband. (After climbing on the bench.) I see what you mean. It’s
beautiful.
Wife. Do you see those plants in the far corner?
Husband. Where?
Wife. (Pointing) Over there!
Husband. What kind of plant is that?
Wife. I have no idea, but I want some!
Husband. But you’re going to have a baby soon. It might not be good
for the child!
Wife. If you don’t get me what I want, it might not be good for you!
(Gardener enters from stage right.)
Gardener. You called for me?
Husband. Did you call for the gardener?
Wife. I certainly did. I need an expert here. Someone who can tell me
what that plant is called.
Gardener. (Stepping up on bench between the two.) Where is it?
Wife. Over there, in the corner.
Gardener. (Pointing.) Over there?
Wife. Yes, over there. Does it have a name?
Gardener. Oh, yes! That’s Rampion.
Husband. Rampion?
5 Rapunzel and Nun Fun Gardener. Right. Rhymes with champion.
Wife. Is it poisonous?
Gardener. Goodness, no! It’s a wholesome vegetable.
Wife. What kind of a name is Rampion?
Gardener. It comes from the Latin specific name, Rapunculus, a
diminutive of Rapa.
Husband. Rapa?
Gardener. It means turnip.
Wife. You see, it’s just a like a turnip, only smaller. It won’t poison me!
Gardener. You’re not seriously considering going into that garden, are
you?
Wife. Oh, not me! But my husband is.
Husband. We haven’t actually decided that yet!
Gardener. Oh, my! Oh, my! This is not for me! Not for me! The witch
who owns that garden is very intimidating!
Husband. She’s not a witch. She’s an enchantress.
Gardener. All right, then, the enchantress intimidates me. And she’ll
torture you and bite you and claw you and set your hair on fire!
Wife. How do you know that for sure unless you test it out!
Gardener. I might survive jumping off a cliff, but I’d never tempt fate!
Husband. Does that mean you won’t help me gather some Rampion?
Gardener. (Exiting stage right) That’s exactly what it means!
Husband. Come back! Come back!
Wife. He’s gone, husband, he’s gone.
Husband. Are you sure you need those Rampions?
Wife. I can’t help it! I’ve gotten these urges ever since I got pregnant!
Don’t you remember when I had to have pickles and ice cream every
night?
Husband. And the fish and chips with loads of vinegar!
Wife. And the gherkins submerged in chocolate cake!
Husband. (Exiting with Wife stage left) Right, but those cravings didn’t
involve me being killed by a witch!
Wife. Enchantress!
Husband. Either way, it could be my life!
Wife. Well, if you don’t bring some home, then I’ll kill you!
Husband. Are you sure you don’t want some vinegar and chocolate
6 Rapunzel and Nun Fun cake?
Wife. I need Rampion, darling, and as soon as possible! (Husband and
Wife exit stage left. Enchantress, dressed as a female version of Merlin,
enters stage right and peers toward stage left.)
Enchantress. I thought I heard something here in my garden. And there
is that neighbor of mind. I thought it would be his wife. She’s always
ogling my beautiful green garden. I’ll just hide back here and see what
he’s up to and then I’ll sneak up behind him! (Husband enters stage left
carrying two sacks of green leafy vegetables, perhaps turnips, if
Rampions are not handy. He doesn’t realize as he paces back and forth
that the Enchantress, is right behind him.)
Husband. These Rampions look better than I thought. I think we can
boil the larger roots like parsnips.
Enchantress. Perhaps they can be eaten with hot sauce!
Husband. Yes, hot sauce! An excellent suggestion!
Enchantress. And what about the young roots?
Husband. Ah, the young roots. I think they should be eaten raw with
vinegar and pepper!
Enchantress. And the leaves?
Husband. The leaves could be eaten as a kind of winter salad!
Enchantress. And what about you?
Husband. What about me?
Enchantress. Yes, my dear trespasser! How would you like to be
eaten?
Husband. (Finally noticing her and dropping both sacks) Oh, no! It’s
the witch!
Enchantress. (Screaming) It’s the Enchantress, you thief. And don’t
make that mistake again!
Husband. (Kneeling in supplication) Please forgive me. This is all a
mistake! I didn’t meant to do anything wrong!
Enchantress. You didn’t mean to come into my garden by scaling a
ten-foot wall?
Husband. I used a ladder, my lady!
Enchantress. I don’t care what you used! The point is that you entered
my garden unannounced and illegally!
Husband. Please don’t call the high-sheriff!
7 Rapunzel and Nun Fun Enchantress. And why would I do that? My ability to punish far
surpasses the sheriff’s. I can torture you and bite you and claw you and
set your hair on fire!
Husband. Oh, no! The gardener was right!
Enchantress. The gardener?
Husband. The gardener said you would torture and bite and claw and
set my hair on fire!
Enchantress. That’s true, but only if I’m in a good mood. And
presently I’m in a perfectly horrible mood!
Husband. My wife, dear lady, my wife…
Enchantress. Do you mean to switch the blame to your wife? I don’t
see her here in my garden!
Husband. No, my lady, my wife is with child and she has these urgings.
Enchantress. Urgings? What sort of urgings? I have an urging right
now to slice off your head and feed it to the dogs! Is that the kind of
urgings your wife has?
Husband. No, your supreme excellence, she craves certain foods.
Sometimes it is pickles and ice cream, sometimes it is chocolate covered
sauerkraut. But today she had a craving for Rampion.
Enchantress. My Rampion!
Husband. Yes, oh perfect one, she wanted your Rampion. She claimed
she would die if she couldn’t have a large bowlful.
Enchantress. So instead, she sent you to die!
Husband. She can’t help herself, oh merciful one! She’s been like this
ever since she became pregnant.
Enchantress. Is she expecting soon?
Husband. Very soon!
Enchantress. Hmm. Perhaps I will not kill you.
Husband. No price is too high if you will only spare my life!
Enchantress. You come into my garden like a thief into the night! And
now you want me to spare your life!
Husband. It’s not my fault! My wife was feeling sickly! What was I to
do?
Enchantress. Sick? Ha! How sick was she?
Husband. She told me she would die without this plant!
Enchantress. You are not a very good liar, Sir!
8 Rapunzel and Nun Fun Husband. But I’ll pay you anything if you will only let me go free!
Enchantress. Anything?
Husband. Yes! Anything!
Enchantress. Then fine. I demand your first-born child!
Husband. You mean to take our baby?
Enchantress. Certainly! Fair is fair.
Wife. (Screaming from stage left) What’s that? Are you making an
agreement without me?
Enchantress. That’s right, woman! Do you have a problem?
Wife. I can’t climb over the wall or I’d tell you my problem.
Enchantress. Just open the door, you greedy thing!
Wife. What door? It’s just a wall over here!
Enchantress. (Gesturing magically with her hands, accompanied by
a tinkling magical sound effect.) Let there be a door!
Wife. (Entering from stage left) That’s some trick you have there,
Witchy!
Husband. Enchantress!
Wife. Anyone who wants to steal my baby is a witch!
Enchantress. You want me to kill your husband instead?
Wife. That would be fine with me! But I get to keep my baby!
Enchantress. What about the Rampion?
Wife. Listen, lady, I don’t have a choice in that matter. I must have
Rampion!
Enchantress. Then I can kill your husband as long as you get the sack
of food?
Wife. (Pausing, then to Husband) Sorry, honey, but I lost my craving
for you a long time ago!
Husband. But I’m your husband! I love you!
Wife. (Pausing) And I’m your wife, and I love Rampion!
Enchantress. That’s some marriage you have! (Handing the sacks to
Wife) Here’s the Rampion. You can keep your husband, too. But I get
the baby!
Wife. I get to keep the Rampion?
Husband. And I stay live?
Enchantress. That’s the deal. You get the Rampion, you get to live, and
I get the baby!
9 Rapunzel and Nun Fun Wife. (Pause, as she ponders the deal) Sounds good to me!
Husband. Me, too!
Enchantress. Now get out of here before I change my mind!
Wife. (To Enchantress) I was afraid I’d never eat this tasty treat!
Husband. By the way, what will you name the child we give you?
Enchantress. Rapunzel! (Enchantress, Husband and Wife exit stage left
as Cardoon and Kale enter stage right.)
Scene 2 –Rapunzel’s tower twenty years later.
Cardoon. Did they really give up the baby so easily?
Kale. Of course not! They tried all sorts of trickery to back out on their
promise.
Cardoon. So, Kale, what convinced them to give up the baby?
Kale. Rampion!
Cardoon. Rampion?
Kale.The enchantress gave them ten bonus bags of Rampion to sign
over the baby all nice and legal like.
Cardoon. I can’t believe a mother would give away her baby so easily.
Was she addicted to this vegetable?
Kale. That’s the only thing that could explain it, Cardoon.
Cardoon. What about the father, Kale?
Kale. He was just happy not to be tortured, bitten, clawed and set on
fire!
Cardoon. (Looking high at the tower which is off stage right) And little
Rapunzel has been up in the tower for the last twenty years? Poor thing!
Kale. Actually, the enchantress didn’t put her up there until she turned
twelve, so it’s only been eight years.
Cardoon. Keeping her away from the boys, eh?
Kale. I can’t read her mind, but that’s probably it.
Cardoon. I still can’t get over Rapunzel’s parents. How could they let
this happen? I’d rather die than give up my child!
Kale. It’s a mystery, Cardoon, a real mystery!
Cardoon. They shouldn’t have given her up so easily!
Kale. Instead of just trading her for greens in the garden, they should
have bargained for meat!
Cardoon. I think you should never abandon your baby!
10 Rapunzel and Nun Fun Kale. Right there’s got to be some other way.
Cardoon. If anyone hears that you were to sell your kid, it looks bad on
your resume! (Enchantress enters stage right and crosses to upstage
center. She is angry.)
Enchantress. So it’s Kale and Cardoon! Get away from my tower
before I turn you into cauliflower!
Cardoon. We’re leaving! We’re leaving! (Cardoon and Kale exit
stage left.)
Enchantress. Okay, Rapunzel, let down your hair!
Rapunzel. (From offstage right) I can’t hear you!
Enchantress. Are you going to be difficult about this?
Rapunzel. It’s not my idea! You told me to be careful about letting
anyone up here!
Enchantress. All right! All right! You’ve gotten so fussy over the years.
Rapunzel. I wonder where I picked up that trait?
Enchantress. (Reciting loudly) Sweet Rapunzel Dear,
Open up your window!
Let your hair fall down
For I need to visit you! (A length of braided hair is thrown from stage
right, landing at the feet of the Enchantress. Meanwhile, a large window
frame is wheeled on stage by Rapunzel, dressed in a white gown, stage
right to upstage center. The braid passes through this window from
Rapunzel’s head to the hands of the Enchantress. After the Enchantress
climbs through the window frame from upstage centre, she has entered
the tower.)
Rapunzel. (Pulling the braid from window and arranging it neatly on
the floor.) Hello, Stranger!
Enchantress. You know, after all these years, you could call me
Mother.
Rapunzel. Ah, but honesty prevents me!
Enchantress. Are you feeling well, Rapunzel?
Rapunzel. I’m so healthy it makes me ill! Not that it makes any
difference. Sick or well I’m still rotting in this tower!
Enchantress. You’ll thank me someday!
Rapunzel. Oh, I thank you every day! I thank you for the friends I
never had. I thank you for the games I never got to play. I thank you for
11 Rapunzel and Nun Fun the kisses I never experienced, for the classmates I never saw, for the
music I never heard, for the wind I never felt flowing through my stupid
long hair as I never ran through the woods! Thank you, Stranger!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Enchantress. You have no idea how wicked a place this world is!
Rapunzel. How could I?
Enchantress. I protect you because I love you!
Rapunzel. If you love something, set it free.
Enchantress. Where did you hear that?
Rapunzel. I read it, Stranger! I couldn’t hear it because I have no one
but you to talk to. And I know you would never say such a thing!
Enchantress. Is it from one of your books?
Rapunzel. Yes, a book of Chinese proverbs. Do you want to hear the
whole quote?
Enchantress. (Covering her ears) No, I don’t want to hear it, not at all!
Rapunzel. (Screaming and badgering the Enchantress who escapes
about the stage to avoid hearing.) If you love something, set it free! If
it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was!
Enchantress. Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Rapunzel. We do not possess anything in this world, least of all other
people! We only imagine we do!
Enchantress. I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you!
Rapunzel. Our friends, our lovers, our spouses, even our children are
not ours; they belong to themselves!
Enchantress. (Uncovering her ears) Why are you punishing me like
this?!
Rapunzel. Possessive and controlling relationships can be as harmful as
neglect!
Enchantress. Sharper than a serpent’s tooth is an ungrateful child!
Rapunzel. And just what is it that I have to be so grateful for?
Enchantress. Your real mother gave you away for a sack of vegetables!
Rapunzel. Is that why I’m decomposing in this tower?
Enchantress. Your real father was a coward who gave you away for
fear of bodily pain!
Rapunzel. And because he was a coward, I must pay for his sins in this
eternal prison?
12 Rapunzel and Nun Fun Enchantress. Once again, the tower is for your protection! When I was
your age I was unprotected, pure, naïve. A man came into my life, a
magician. He taught me many tricks. I thought he was genius. I came
to love him. And then, one day, he pulled off the greatest trick of all –
he disappeared! Without a word he disappeared and left me all alone
and broken-hearted!
Rapunzel. And what has this to do with me?
Enchantress. I love you, Rapunzel, as my daughter. Even if you won’t
call me your mother, I know that I truly am. And as your mother I
vowed to save you from the hurt I felt when I was abandoned.
Rapunzel. Please leave!
Enchantress. I’ll return, you know. Even though you treat me with
spite, I love you more than life itself.
Rapunzel. I know.
Enchantress. Then will you give your mother at least one kind word
before I depart?
Rapunzel. I know you love me. And you know I love you, too. It’s just
my loneliness that makes me say these things.
Enchantress. I wish only for you happiness, Rapunzel.
Rapunzel. (As the Enchantress departs through window with braid)
Bring me more books when you return. They are my closest
companions!
Enchantress. As you wish my dear. As you wish.
Rapunzel. Someday my prince will come and save me from this prison
cell. I don’t know why I know this, but I hope it happen soon. It’s so
lonely living in this tower. The future is all clouded in mystery! I’m
ready to snap! It must happen soon. I must be saved or I will go insane!
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