My Brother Alephs,
“Don’t wish your life away.”
Growing up, my mom would always tell me that. Whenever I grew
impatient, whether it was waiting for the school year to be over or simply
waiting for the newest video game to come out, I would say, “I can’t wait
for *insert date here*”. No matter the circumstance, I got the same
frustrating response.
“Don’t wish your life away.”
For the longest time, I thought that she was saying this to mock me. I was
in middle school, so obviously I knew everything (as all middle schoolers
do), and I didn’t see any value in waiting. Still, every single time, it was
the same.
“Alex, don’t wish your life away.”
I dreaded those words. But now, as I reflect upon my five years in BBYO,
I think I’ve finally started to see the value in what she was saying. As I sit
here, writing out my final address to the order, I’m forced to confront the
uncomfortable reality that BBYO does not last forever, and I don’t know
whether or not I’m ready to move on.
When I was in eighth grade, I lost for chapter Moreh, and was elected to a
different position as a rundown. I hated that term. I hated my position, I
hated my lack of motivation, and I hated the time that seemed to crawl by
so slowly. I accomplished next to nothing that term, because all the time
that I could have spent making an impact or doing my best with that
position was wasted, and it was wasted on wishing. I wished for nothing
more than for that term to be over, and in the end, I guess I got what I
wanted. Well, I got what I thought that I wanted. Sure, the term was over,
but it was a term full of regrets. My states report for that term consisted of
me apologizing to my chapter for how much I had let them down, and all
the while I heard a voice in the back of my head saying,
“Don’t wish your life away.”
You’d think that I would have learned. You’d think that as I was speaking
to my chapter about how I wasted both my time and theirs, the lesson
would finally sink in. You’d think so, but apparently not.
My brother Alephs, it is so easy for us to wish away our time, but then
what? What happens when we’re out of time? It’s gotta happen
eventually, right? At the end of the day, there’s no way to change the
past. Like it or not, we have to live with our decisions. I made mistakes.
It happens to everybody, I can live with it. The part that I can’t live with is
that all of it could have been avoided so easily. All I had to do was listen
to that voice in my head, screaming at me,
“What are you doing? Don’t wish your life away!”
If you give it your all and come up short, that’s alright. As long as you’re
proud of what you did, then nothing else is relevant. I guess that’s really
the essence of what I’m trying to say here. Towards the end of my term
as CRW’s 62nd Regional Moreh, I kind of burned out. Overall, I loved
regional board, but near the end, I wasn’t enjoying it the way I used to. I
had already been elected to international board, and was wishing for my
term to end so the next one could start. I spent my time wishing, and as a
result I slacked off instead of finishing the term in a way that I was proud
of. It was right there all along. That nagging voice, and I ignored it.
“You’re wishing your life away...”
After five years, a person might think that I’m ready to move on from
BBYO, but I can’t be sure, and I know the exact reason for that
uncertainty. It’s because of that term in 8th grade, which at the time
seemed trivial. It’s because of the end of my regional board term. It’s
because of every moment I’ve ever had in AZA where I know that I
could’ve done better but instead chose not to because it was easier to just
wish for the next thing. But now, I have no “next thing”. My time in AZA is
coming to a close, and I only have one thing left to wish for.
I wish for all that time that I wasted to come back. But it can’t.
And that’s it. My final address to the international order comes down to
that one regret, and I hope that all of you are able to learn from it. It’s ok
to look to the future. It’s ok to be excited. I’m not trying to inhibit that. But
never trade in what you have in the present for what you might have in the
future. Be proud of what you do. Take advantage of the time you have,
and make sure that you leave behind no regrets. Working hard through a
term that you don’t think you’re enjoying is far better than a term wasted
through wishing. Because if you spend all your time in BBYO wishing for
the future, then eventually you’re just going to find yourself wishing for the
past.
So please. Don’t wish your life away.
Fraternally Submitted With Undying Love
For The Grand Order Of The Aleph Tzadik Aleph,
For Central Region West #45,
And For Simon Wiesenthal AZA #2524,
I Forever Remain Aleph Alex Merritt
Accepting Life Membership,
Not As Grand Aleph Moreh,
But As An Aleph
Dedications
I believe that life pages should be mainly about the message, so I intend
to keep this part somewhat brief. This is to recognize all of the people
who have played a role in helping me become who I am both in and out of
BBYO. I want to honor people from my past and present who have
inspired and continue to inspire me, people from my present who
constantly give me motivation to continue with BBYO, and those in the
future who I hope I have impacted. I especially would like to honor one
person from each of these categories.
Those who have inspired me:
Dan Smolkin - I don’t understand. I don’t know what it is you saw in me
that caused you to spend hundreds of hours working with me and
hundreds of dollars on meals with me, but you did, and I’m the luckiest
person alive because of it. Without you, I would not be anywhere near
where I am today. I don’t mean on international board (although that’s
true too), but simply as a person. Without you even trying, I feel like I
learn something and that I grow as a person every time that I’m around
you. You inspire me ceaselessly, and I aspire to be able to bring out in
others what you have been able to do with me. Your unwavering
dedication for SiWi and for the Alephs within it is truly awe-inspiring. Your
constant selflessness amazes me. Even though this paragraph may be
long, it does not come anywhere close to fully expressing my gratitude
and admiration for you. When people ask me what I want to be, I shrug
and say, “I don’t really know. Maybe something with a psychology major,
but I’m really not sure”. But when people ask me what type of person I
want to be, it’s obvious. I want to be like you, Dan. Thank you for
everything.
Alex Goldstein, Alex Hammer, Alex Ruby, Aviv Delgadillo, Guy Singer, Ilan
Siegel, Jill Pottel, Josh Cohen, Mica Laber, Nathan Curtis, Ruby Hartman,
Ryan Cohn, Sam Asin, Sam Hain, Tomer Kaftan, and countless others.
Those who remind me why I love BBYO:
Andrew Levy - Andrew, it’s weird to me that we’ve only been friends for
about two years now, because we’re so close that it feels like so much
longer, and I think that it says something about our friendship that we’ve
gotten this close over that amount of time. I’ve told you this before, but
when people talk about the amazing people and the lifelong friendships
you make in BBYO, you’re the person that I think of. You are kind, funny,
caring, and just overall an exemplary Aleph. I wish that we had gotten to
spend a little more time together, but I’m saving up for a trip to Ohio, so no
need to worry about that. You mean more to me than I can express, and I
really don’t tell you that enough. This all sounds so cliché, but really,
thank you for always being there for me. You know I’ll always be there for
you too.
Amir Mazor, Ben Schulman, Daniel Roth, Eli Burg, Eric Hunker, Eric
Jedel, Evan Elkin, Gabby Mesnier, Izzy Kipnis, Jake Steel, Joey Eisman,
Josh Annex, Josh Leviloff, Kyle Price, Max Meyer, Michael Strauss, Natty
Bernstein, Sam Dolen, Sam Ennis, Sam Finn, Sam Perlen, Yosi Vogel, my
incredible Morim network, the 90th and 70th international boards, and
more.
Those who I hope to have inspired:
Ron Miasnik - When we first became friends, I viewed you as a younger
member who I had the chance to inspire and teach. But not anymore. I
no longer see you as that younger Aleph. I view you completely as my
equal, if not more than that, and it’s scary to me when I realize that you’re
only a rising junior. You’ve come farther and grown more in just a few
years than most people do throughout all of their time in BBYO. I like to
joke that when you won Regional Aleph Godol, I was happier than you
were, and that’s just because I’m so ridiculously proud of you. Even
though you’re younger than me, I admire you, and I’ve learned so much
from you. If you’ve come so far already, I can’t wait to see where you’ll go
with another two years. Just know that I’ll always be rooting for you.
Ben Lee, Billy Braker, Danny Debare, Ethan Grossman, Jake Davis, Joey
Garber, Lucas Popp, Matthew Golub, Micah Bloom, Michael Vronsky,
Noah Hoffman, Roee Landesman, Sam Feldman, Yanir Nulman, Zach
Grob-Lipkis, Zach Hankin, and CLTC 5 2015.
To all those mentioned here and more,
from the bottom of my heart, thank you.