CHILD REARING PATTERNS
Afghanistan
MIDDLE EAST
Map reference: www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook
The Islamic Republic of Afghanistan is located in southern Asia, north and west of Pakistan, east of
Iran. It is bordered by: China, Iran, Pakistan, Tadjikistan, Turkmenistan, and Uzbekistan. The capital is
Kabul. The Hindu Kush mountains that run north-east to south-west divide the northern provinces
from the rest of the country. The highest peaks are in the northern Vakhan Corridor.
The legal system, based on mixed civil and Sharia law, has not accepted compulsory ICJ jurisdiction.
There is universal suffrage at 18 years of age.
Afghanistan is extremely poor, landlocked, and highly dependent on foreign aid, agriculture,
and trade with neighbouring countries. Much of the population continues to suffer from shortages
of housing, clean water, electricity, medical care, and jobs. Criminality, insecurity, and the Afghan
Government’s inability to extend the rule of law to all parts of the country pose challenges to future
economic growth. It will probably take the remainder of the decade and continuing donor aid and
attention to significantly raise Afghanistan’s living standards from their current level, among the
lowest in the world.
While the international community remains committed to Afghanistan’s development,
pledging over $24 billion at three donors’ conferences since 2002, Kabul will need to overcome
a number of challenges. Expanding poppy cultivation and a growing opium trade generate roughly
$4 billion in illicit economic activity and looms as one of Kabul’s most serious policy concerns.
Other long-term challenges include: budget sustainability, job creation, corruption, government
capacity, and rebuilding war-torn infrastructure.
History
Until 1973, Afghanistan was a traditional monarchy. The first communist-backed regime
came to power in 1978. In 1979, the Soviet Union invaded to support the tottering Afghan
communist regime, but withdrew ten years later under relentless pressure by internationally
supported anti-communist mujaheddin rebels. The Taliban emerged in 1994 to end the country’s
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civil war and anarchy, seizing Kabul in 1996 and the surrounding country by 1998. Following the
11 September 2001 terrorist attacks, a combined US, Allied, and Northern Alliance military action
toppled the Taliban and sought to detain Osama Bin Laden.
In late 2001, a conference in Bonn, Germany, established a process for political
reconstruction that included the adoption of a new constitution and a presidential election in
2004, and National Assembly elections in 2005. On 7 December 2004, Hamid Karzai became the
first democratically-elected president of Afghanistan.
Peoples of Afghanistan
Prior to 1978 the population of Afghanistan was about 17 million. By 1990, however, it was
estimated to be approximately 9 million (remaining in Afghanistan), plus 6.2 million in refugee
camps, 1 million settled in the West – and 2 million dead.
Afghanistan is ethnically and linguistically diverse but the dominant groups, the Pashtuns,
the Tadjiks and the Hazara, make up 69% of the population. Other smaller groups are: Uzbek 9%,
Aimak 4%, Turkmen 3%, Baloch 2%, other 4%.
Languages
The two main languages of Afghanistan are: Dari (or ‘Afghan Persian’) 50% and Pashtu 35%.
In both languages the Arabic script is used. Other lesser languages include: Turkic languages
(primarily Uzbek and Turkmen) 11%; and 30 minority languages, primarily Balochi and Pashai,
are spoken by 4% of the population. Many people in Afghanistan are bilingual.
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Religion
The official religion of Afghanistan is Islam (Sunni Muslim 80%, Shi’a Muslim 19%, other 1%).
Other minority groups include: Ismaelis, Hindus, Jews, Sikhs and Bahais.
The religion of Muslims is called Islam which means obedience to God. The Prophet Mohammed,
born in Mecca in 570AD, taught the Arabs that there was only one God. The Koran is the holy book
that contains the rules of obedience to God.
The five pillars of Islam are five duties:
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Shahada: affirmation that there is only one God, Allah, and that Mohammed is his messenger.
Salat: prayers said five times a day in Arabic.
Zakat: the giving of gifts to good causes.
Siyam: fasting during the month of Ramadhan between dawn and dusk.
Hajj: pilgrimage to the holy city of Mecca at least once in a lifetime.
Afghans in Australia
The first Afghans arrived in Australia in the 1860s to work as camel drivers for the early explorers.
By the 1930s there were an estimated 3000 Afghans living in Australia, the majority single men.
In 1980, Australia accepted a first round of about 500 Afghan refugees, with a peak of nearly 1000
arriving in 1991 and 1992. The majority were Pashtuns, and they settled in major cities.
During the rule of the Taliban, several hundred refugees arrived as asylum seekers and were given
Temporary Protection Visas. More recently Afghan families have arrived as refugees under the
Humanitarian Program. According to Australia’s national census, in 2006 4,560 Victorian residents
spoke Dari and 1,299 spoke Pashtu.
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Family
A patriarchal family structure is determined by Islamic and Afghan social codes, in which daughters
marry out and sons are responsible for the care of the family. In the traditional Afghan family,
the father is the head and guardian of the family. He is responsible for the financial support of the
family and is the most respected person in the family. Elders are highly respected and have the
final word on all family and community matters. Parents live with their sons, who with their wives
are expected to care for them financially and morally. Grandmothers will sometimes assist with
child care, but men are not expected to undertake domestic duties.
Families in Afghanistan usually have many children. The extended family is important and it is
common for several generations to live together supporting each other. Children will live with
their parents until they marry, when the girl will go to live with the husband’s family. The sons have
particular responsibilities to care for parents as they age. Arranged marriages are very common;
they are made by parents through family connections. It is common for the girl to be much
younger than the man. Girls can be married quite young, any time after puberty.
The father is usually the head of the family, although grandparents are often consulted and opinions
sought from them. Some women work outside the home; this can depend on the education level
of the woman. Domestic responsibilities are always held by the women; grandmother, mother and
daughters. Fathers and sons never do domestic work, it is seen as shameful. Children are expected
to assist with chores at home, particularly the girls. Children may also be expected to work outside
the home and contribute to family income, particularly if the family is very poor.
Often marriage will be restricted to the same ethnic group e.g., Pashtu, Tajik, and Hazara etc.
Most often the woman will take the man’s family name after marriage, as will the children.
People usually have one or two names, and nicknames are common. Sometimes grandparents
will select the name of the children and often names are chosen from the Koran.
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The role of women
Under Islamic law, women have equal rights with men. However, many women in Afghanistan
defer to their husbands and the male members of the family. Women are usually confined to their
households and, if they appear in public, must be veiled.
It was estimated in 2007 that there were 6.64 children born per woman in Afghanistan.
Childbirth and child rearing
Pregnant women will try to rest and may eat extra eggs, soups and sweet foods. Births will usually
be in hospital in cities and larger towns. Fathers never attend the birth, only medical staff. If the
birth takes place at home, the woman will be supported by female relatives and a midwife, who may
have medical training, but not always.
After the birth women will traditionally stay at home with their baby for forty days. They will
not shower for the first three days and will be carefully wrapped up. They eat more animal fats
for strength. New mothers will be advised by the hospital and their mother and mother-in-law.
After forty days the mother and baby may go to visit the maternal grandmother and share a
special meal.
In the first few weeks after a birth there will be a party and naming ceremony. The naming
ceremony of new babies is a special rite. The names are determined by the elders of the family.
For the first six months the custom is to swaddle the baby. Breastfeeding is common for the first
twelve months. This may also be a time to circumcise, if the baby is a boy. The parties for boys may
be bigger; they will involve lots of food and singing.
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Women are not to have sexual relations for two months after birth and do not go to pray at the
mosque while they are bleeding.
Babies are breastfed. Breastfeeding is not done in front of men. Women will avoid spicy foods
while they are lactating, and will not eat too much beef. Babies will sleep next to their mothers
until 2-3 years old, after which they may sleep with siblings. There is often not a formal routine or
discipline around sleeping times and other daily routines for children.
Children are not encouraged to be independent eaters, but are fed by their mothers. The first
foods to be introduced may be rice cereal, egg, biscuit or bread in milk, maybe with some added
sugar, and banana.
Children
Children are highly valued in Afghan society. They are taught to honour both their parents in
accordance with Islamic law and to be respectful to all adults. In cities, babies are generally born
in hospital. An important custom is Shabe Shash (sixth night), which is a ceremony to celebrate
when a new born baby reaches six days old.
At 2 years of age the child is seen as having moved out of babyhood and having achieved
some independence. Girls are expected to stay at home and help the mother; boys have more
freedom. All boys are circumcised before physical maturity is reached. This is done in a special
religious ceremony.
The mother is responsible for the care of young children; she will also discipline them, but as
they become older, the father may have a greater role here, particularly with sons. The discipline
for girls is not the same as for boys. The discipline for girls can be very harsh and they are very
restrictive. Boys have much more freedom. Physical punishment is a common form of discipline
and is used both in the home and at school by teachers.
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Boys are encouraged to be independent thinkers. However, girls are not; they are expected to
listen to their parents and then their husbands.
Polite behaviour is particularly important, especially to elders and parents. The kissing of hands is
a common form of address. Children will always use the terms aunty and uncle when addressing
elders, even when not related. Women will often be quiet and reserved in the company of men.
Typical clothing for men is loose pants and calf-length loose tunic-type top and maybe
turban-type head wear. Women usually wear a longish skirt. Shawls are common and often a scarf
covering the hair. Many families will encourage young girls to also wear headscarves but this will
depend on the family.
Children’s toys and games
Children in Afghanistan will play with whatever they can find. Girls and boys play in different ways;
girls’ play is often within the home and centres on domestic role play, sewing and more traditional
women’s roles. Dramatic play with dolls is common for girls. Hopscotch, volleyball and gymnastics
are popular. Kite flying is very popular for boys and men; in fact it can be an obsession. There is
often much discussion about kites, the different materials and techniques. Cock fighting is also
popular for boys and men.
There are many traditional songs and stories which are shared with children. Some of these are in
book form and often they are told orally.
Indian movies are now very popular in Afghanistan with everyone.
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Education
Education is valued and Afghan parents want their children to do well at school. School is
compulsory between 7 and 13 years of age in Afghanistan. The attitude towards education will
often depend on the education level of the parents. If the head of a family is not educated,
they will be less likely to encourage education for their children. In other families they will value
education for their children, particularly the boys. Boys usually get a higher education and will be
sent to the better schools.
Using the definition of literacy rate as the percentage of people aged 15 and over who can read
and write, it was estimated in 2000 that of the total population 28.1% were literate, with male
literacy at 43.1%, and female literacy at 12.6%.
Festivals and celebrations
As the majority of Afghans are Muslim, the Muslim festivals such as Eid al-Fatr (sometimes just
called ‘Eid’), which comes in the last three days of the month of Ramadhan, and Eid al-Qorban,
the Muslim Festival of the Sacrifice, are extremely important religious and family feast days.
During the month of Ramadhan people will abstain from all food and drink from sunrise until
sunset. At the end of Ramadhan there will be three days of celebration involving prayer at the
mosque, feasting, visiting, sharing sweet foods and maybe wearing new clothes.
The second Eid two months later is a two-day celebration. It may be marked by having a sacrificial
lamb and gifts passed onto the poor, and often this is the time to make the pilgrimage
to Mecca.
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Afghanistan’s other main national holidays are Independence Day, held on 19th August to celebrate
independence from the British in 1919, Children’s Day, August 30th, and Mother’s Day, June 14th.
The Afghan New Year occurs on March 21st or 22nd.
Birthdays are celebrated in some families, but not all.
Food
Afghan families eat a good diet of simple natural foods, prepared in appetising ways and served
in generous quantities. The strong Persian influence is evident across the whole of the Middle
East, and the Indian influence is also seen in Afghan cooking with use of spices, such as saffron,
cinnamon, cloves, peppers, chillies and garam marsala. Persian and Arabic influences contribute
cardamom, dill, mint, cumin and coriander.
Afghans eat cereals, rice, noodles and bread. The bread is usually traditional flat bread – lawash and
naun. Bread is served with most meals and used to scoop food or sauces. Dips eaten with bread
contain yoghurt, cucumber, eggplant or chick peas. Yoghurt is a main ingredient used in a variety
of ways. Cheese is also an important part of the meal.
Main meals include pilau (rice based) with or without meat. Lamb is the most common meat
served in different ways: sometimes as kebabs, minced or stewed. Chicken, beef and fish are also
eaten. Afghans eat a variety of vegetables including eggplant, leeks, turnips, potatoes, carrots,
spinach, and salad vegetables. Dried beans and lentils are also used, as well as nuts and dried fruit.
Tea is a favourite beverage. The diet features a lot of rice, lentils, beans, potato, turnips, salads,
curries and soups. Meat consumption depends on affordability. Fish from rivers and lakes is eaten,
but not shellfish. Yoghurt and cheese are eaten regularly. Food is always halal. Pork is forbidden,
as is alcohol.
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There is usually more than one dish served, and always bread. Children eat a diet similar to their
parents. Food is traditionally served in large dishes which are shared.
Usually three meals a day are eaten. Families always eat together; usually the father will begin
eating first. Water will be brought to the mat/table to wash hands. It is common to eat with the
hand. The women will always be responsible for preparation and clearing up after the meals.
Bibliography
Zangalis, C., and Clarke, P, The Middle East: a source book, Hodja Press, 1981.
Middle East: Moslem families. Child rearing information. FKA Children’s Services,
Richmond, Victoria, 1996.
SBS World Guide, 12th Edition.
Child rearing paper - ‘Afghanistan’, FKA Children’s Services, Richmond, Victoria, 1996.
World factbook, Central Intelligence Agency, Washington, USA,
www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/geos/iz.html, last updated July 2007.
Popal, Fatima, Record of interview, FKA Children’s Services, Richmond, Victoria, 2008.
Fatima is a bilingual worker with the FKA.
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