KCL Chapel
Matthew 26:36-46
Spring term Sermon Series
24th February 2016
JESUS IN GETHSEMANE
Jesus experiences spiritual desolation
May I speak in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Sometimes, preachers start with an anecdote which somehow casts a new light on a
well known story. Sometimes, preachers start with a quote or reference to popular
culture. And sometimes preachers dive straight in and start with the meaty stuff
first. These are all techniques designed to catch your attention and engage (or
perhaps re-engage) your brain.
But I am going to do something slightly different. We’ll come on to the “meaty
stuff” in a minute. But rather than engage your brain, let me try to engage your
emotions and your imagination.
Take a deep breath and I want you to imagine for a moment that you are in the
Garden of Gethsemane. We know its night time, but how dark is it? Maybe it’s the
dead of night, or maybe its dusk? Using your imagination, what can you see
around you? Is it very overgrown or can you see further in to the distance? What
can you hear? Maybe there are crickets chirping, maybe you can hear animals
moving in the undergrowth. Can you hear the breeze rustling the leaves of the
trees?
Who else can you see in the garden? We know that the disciples are there too.
Jesus told them to sit while he took Peter, James and John with him to pray. In
your mind’s eye can you see the disciples sitting in the garden? How many of them
are there? Where are they sitting?
As you move further in to the garden you see Peter, James and John. Jesus told
them to stay where they were and stay awake. We know that they didn’t stay
awake. Can you see them sleeping?
We know that Jesus moved further in to the garden and away from Peter, James
and John. Can you see Jesus? Can you imagine what he looks like? You can see
him on the ground and he’s saying something. As you get closer you hear him.
He’s praying. You hear him saying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass
from me; yet not what I want but what you want. My Father, if it is possible, let
this cup pass from me; yet not what I want but what you want.”
We know that Jesus is deeply grieved, even to death and so how does Jesus sound
when he say, “Let this cup pass from me”? He is on his own crying out to his
father. I wonder if he sounds afraid. What do you imagine that he is feeling right
now? When you see him like this, how does it make you feel?
In the Garden of Gethsemane, I believe that Jesus was experiencing spiritual
desolation.
We know that God is never absent from us. But, when we are experiencing
spiritual desolation, we feel that God is absent from our lives. We do not feel that
we are in the light of God’s love.
When we experience spiritual desolation, it may be that, through our own actions,
we have absented ourselves from God. In which case turning back to God,
returning to God, in prayer and in the sacraments; being attentive to God’s
presence in our lives and in the lives of others; and accepting the unconditional
love that God has for each one of us individually, these can be sufficient to draw us
back in to a loving and consoling relationship with God.
But, spiritual desolation can also come from feeling as if it is God who has
absented himself from our lives. We might feel that we have been faithful and
obedient to God, that we have maintained our prayer lives, received communion,
tried to be as loving and accepting of others as possible. Yet, somehow we just do
not feel like we are living in God’s light. God is never absent from us but it really
can feel like that sometimes.
Just as an aside, I should say that spiritual desolation is different from depression.
Depression is a medical condition that should be treated appropriately. Desolation
is a spiritual condition and is different.
When we feel that God is absent from us it is only natural to respond in the same
way – for us to remove ourselves from God. We feel that we are praying in to a
void and so it is only natural for us to pray less frequently, with less commitment
and with less heart. When that happens it is only the grace of God that is able to
draw us back in to the light. But when we are already turning ourselves away from
God we are less inclined to see the light and be drawn towards it. By removing
ourselves from God we serve to perpetuate the feeling of absence that we already
feel and the spiritual desolation perpetuates itself.
So, if we can use our imaginations to put ourselves in to the same situation as Jesus
in the Garden and imagine what he was feeling and if we therefore accept that
Jesus was experiencing spiritual desolation it is worth examining how he
responded. When we look at the Gospel story we see first of all that Jesus sought
out the comfort of his friends. He tells them how he is feeling, that he is deeply
grieved, even to death. He asks them to say with him, to be with him. He then turns
to God in prayer. Whereas our own inclination might be to turn away from God
when we feel like this – Jesus turns towards God.
What we see, however, is that he is not immediately consoled. When he returns to
his friends he is still upset. His friends have fallen asleep and I think it is possible
to imagine hearing a sense of frustration and anger in Jesus’ voice when he says,
“So, you could not stay awake with me one hour?”
Although he still feels upset, he returns to God. And when he comes back and sees
his friends asleep again, rather than lashing out again, he leaves them in peace. Is
he beginning to recover his own, natural, sense of compassion?
His compassion becomes clearer when he turns to God for the third time. He
expresses his desire to do his father’s will – the spirit is willing but the flesh is
weak. This time when he comes to speak to his friends we hear a greater sense of
love, peace and acceptance. It seems to me that Jesus is still feeling afraid,
distressed, grieved. He still feels desolate but at the same time he knows that his
father is no longer absent from him but that even in the desolation, his loving
father is there. We talk about experiencing the depths of God’s love for us. By the
time Jesus is able to say to his friends, “Get up, let us be going,” he has reached a
new and deeper understanding of the love that his father has for him. I wonder if
this deeper understanding that sustains him over the course of the next few hours
as he carries his cross, suffers and dies.
For Jesus, the response he makes to the desolation he feels, his turning to God in
prayer rather than turning away from God, only serves to deepen his understanding
and love of God. It does not take him out of his desolation – that comes later on
Easter day – what it does do is to draw him in closer to his father’s love.
I know it’s difficult. When we feel that God is absent from us the last thing we can
want to do is pray. But if we can overcome our reluctance, if we can turn towards
God rather than away from God, then we too can begin to feel a greater sense of
love, peace and acceptance. We, too, might obtain the strength through God that
will sustain us as we carry our own cross. If we are truly committed to deepening
and understanding our relationship with God, periods of spiritual desolation are
inevitable. (On the upside, periods of consolation are also inevitable.) But by
looking at the example of Jesus we can hope not only to get through the desolation
but to get through the desolation having deepened our relationship with the God
who loves us unconditionally. Amen.
Raymond Baudon,
Chaplaincy Assistant to the Strand and Denmark Hill campuses