KERPLUNK!
By Donna Latham
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Synopsis: Jewel tiptoes into the kitchen to prepare a surprise breakfast for
Gram and Gramps. Addie is befuddled when Jewel hands her eggs to crack.
Jewel tells her to “clink” them on the side of the mixing bowl. Heavy-pawed
Addie “bonks” and “thunks” the eggs. Soon, Bill enters and lends a helping
hand. As Bill “swooshes” cheese across the grater, Addie “kerplunks” milk
into the bowl. When Jewel heats up a sizzling skillet, she realizes that the
room is a-buzz with onomatopoeia - - words that imitate sounds. “I don’t
wanna be ya?” asks Addie, while Bill wonders, “I don’t wanna see ya?”
Jewel carefully pronounces the word: “Ahn-uh-mah-tuh-PEE-yuh.” Bill,
Addie, and even Roscoe supply examples such as “burp, growl, and cheep.”
Addie notes that onomatopoeia is “easy to dance to.” She beats on a pot with
a wooden spoon and starts a conga line. Bill and Jewel join in, chanting,
“Onomatopoe - - ,” as Roscoe completes the word with “Awwk!” Hearing
the ruckus, Gram and Gramps awaken. Gramps recites from Edgar Allan
Poe’s “The Bells,” which contains sound words, as Roscoe accompanies him
with the birdcage bell. Soon, Roscoe rings his bell urgently. Jewel’s egg
bake sets off the smoke alarm, and Gram and Gramps quickly “whoosh”
away the smoke. The family takes their movable feast to the patio, while
Roscoe “awks” out one last chorus of the song and Gram and Gramps dance.
CAST OF CHARACTERS
(3 MEN, 3 WOMEN, FLEXIBLE)
JEWEL (F) ........................a vibrant, inquisitive, and studious student
GRAM (F).........................her kind, gentle, and nurturing grandmother
GRAMPS (M)...................her courtly, proper grandfather, a retired British
brigadier general
BILL (M) ..........................her up-for-anything younger brother
ADDIE (M/F)....................their lovable lug of a talking dog
ROSCOE (M/F) ................their pet parrot
The Stratford Family
A tightly knit intergenerational family, the Stratfords are an energetic,
verbally adept bunch. The family dynamic is chatty, nurturing, and
supportive; together, they tackle problems that arise in their ongoing
adventures with the English language. As Gramps says, "English is quite a
sticky wicket of a language to master!"
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Gramps is a retired British brigadier general, devoted to his bride, Gram, a
kind, nurturing soul. Gramps is a lover of history and literature, while Gram
enjoys tending to her garden and whipping up new recipes in the kitchen. A
still-vigorous pair, Gramps and Gram remain young at heart with the
presence of their grandchildren. Jewel, an industrious teenager, is a multitalented multi-tasker! She aspires to be the next J.K. Rowling and is
currently writing a whodunit. Bill, her spontaneous younger brother, is up for
anything! Thoroughly living in the moment, he is not actively planning for
the future, as Jewel is. In fact, he is consumed these days with teaching
Roscoe, the world's most bashful parrot, to talk. Add a lovable, loyal talking
dog, Addie, to the mix and the family is complete!
SETTING
The play uses a fixed set, with a cozy kitchen and an adjoining living room
area. At left, is the kitchen, with a table and four chairs. The kitchen includes
a stove, sink, and several cabinets. At right, is a living room area, with a sofa
with several pillows, coffee table, and wing chair. Windows appear at
opposite sides of the stage; curtains hang from rods. In Kerplunk! Roscoe the
bird appears onstage in his birdcage, although he may be off stage in other
plays. Addie's dog bed is currently in the living room but may appear
elsewhere in other plays.
Staging Suggestions:
A discussion of sounds words offers the opportunity to explore the melody
of the word onomatopoeia. Since the word appears repeatedly in the play, it
is essential that the actors pronounce it correctly, and in Jewel’s case,
quickly. The proper pronunciation is “Ahn-uh-mah-tuh-PEE-yuh.” It is
suggested that actors rehearse so that the word rolls trippingly from the
tongue! In addition, encourage actors to exaggerate the sound words in the
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script and have fun with them. It is also suggested that faux food items be
used in this production. Although you may opt to use real food items on
stage, please ensure that actors use hard-boiled rather than raw eggs for
safety considerations. For the sequences featuring the conga line, have actors
rehearse the dance so that they kick out with one leg on the first “YUH!”
(“Onomatopoe - - YUH!”) and with opposite leg on the second “YUH!”
(“Sizzling words, you see-YUH!”) or, later, on Roscoe’s “Awwwk!”
Encourage the actors playing Jewel, Bill, and Addie to throw themselves
with great zeal into their first conga line. Allow noise to reach a crescendo as
Gram and Gramps enter. When Gramps interrupts the ruckus with his first
line, direct the actors to quickly lower their volume so that Gramps can be
heard, while allowing random, low-volume clangs and clatters to sound from
the pot and lids. For the curtain call, have the actors dance in a conga line
and reprise their song; Addie carries the prop bird.
PROPS
Stuffed bear
Dog bed
Birdcage with bell and prop bird
Apron
Recipe card
Huge skillet
Large pot
Big mixing bowl
Wooden spoon
Big wire whisk
Casserole dish
Chef’s hat
Faux eggs
Faux hunk of cheese
Faux bagels
Old-fashioned orange squeezer
Faux orange halves
Bottle marked “Oil”
Two pot lids
Stocking cap
Dish towel
Maracas
AT RISE:
ADDIE sleeps on the couch, clutching her stuffed bear. Her empty
dog bed rests beside the couch. She snores loudly, and ROSCOE, in
his birdcage, punctuates each of ADDIE’s snores with a “cheeping”
snore of his own. JEWEL enters and crosses, tiptoeing, to the
kitchen, where she puts on an apron and washes her hands at the
sink.
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ROSCOE: (Flutters in his cage with an off stage SFX and voice.)
Awwk?
ADDIE: (Leaps up, startled; looks around.) Huh? Who? What?
Where? When? Why? How?
JEWEL: (Waves arm.) Rise and shine, Addie, girl! You, too, Roscoe!
ROSCOE: (Flutters in his cage with an off stage SFX and voice.)
Cheep, cheep!
ADDIE: Jewel, you’re up at the crack of dawn! Don’t you know what
time it is?
JEWEL: (Waves a recipe card cheerfully.) Yes, I know it’s early. Bill
and I are surprising Gram and Gramps with breakfast.
ADDIE: (Runs to JEWEL.) Breakfast, yum; the most important meal
of the day! Why didn’t you say so? When do we eat?
JEWEL: (Rustles around, but makes a point of trying to be quiet; sets
out a huge skillet and pot, two pot lids, several large mixing
bowls, a wooden spoon, a big wire whisk, and a casserole dish.)
Since Bill seems to be a no-show, why don’t you help me, Addie?
ADDIE: (Puts on a chef’s hat; licks her lips loudly as she surveys the
food items JEWEL is placing out.) Eggs . . . cheese . . . bagels!
Ah, yes, my favorite foods all in a row. Now, just tell me there are
oatmeal cookies, too, and I’ll bow-wow, woof, and yip for joy.
Copyright © MMV by Donna Latham. All rights reserved. Caution:
Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that KERPLUNK! is subject
to a royalty. ALL INQUIRIES CONCERNING PERFORMANCE RIGHTS,
INCLUDING AMATEUR RIGHTS, SHOULD BE DIRECTED TO
HEUER PUBLISHING LLC, PO BOX 248, CEDAR RAPIDS IA, 52406.
www.heuerpub.com
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JEWEL: Sorry, Addie, no cookies, but we are making this egg bake
recipe I learned in my Foods class. (ADDIE looks at the recipe
card and licks her chops.) Why don’t you scrub up and then start
placing the ingredients in the mixing bowl?
ADDIE: (Pretends to be a surgeon and elaborately scrubs up at the
sink; mimes putting on surgical gloves; exaggerates the words
“wrrriggles” and “squeeeezes” as she struggles into the mimed
gloves.) The dedicated surgeon wriggles and squeezes her
skillful hands into the surgical gloves. (Pretends to snap glove
against paw.) Snap! At long last, they’re on!
JEWEL: (Laughs.) Okay, Doc, start with the eggs, please. (Hands
ADDIE several eggs.)
ADDIE: (Takes eggs and studies them in bewilderment; holds them
up to her ear and shakes them like maracas.) How do these
things work?
JEWEL: Clink them against the bowl. Don’t clank them; a gentle clink
should do the trick. (Mimes a delicate clink.)
ADDIE: (Hits the egg against the mixing bowl.) Bonk! Thunk!
JEWEL: Whoa, easy, please! Now crack them open. (Huddles with
ADDIE to tend to the eggs.)
BILL: (Enters sleepily.) Hey! Sorry, I couldn’t drag myself out of bed. I
was up late watching Friday Night Creature Features. (Stops at
ROSCOE’s cage.) Hello! Hello! (All stop what they are doing and
stare at ROSCOE expectantly; after a beat, they shrug and
resume activities.)
ADDIE: The eggs are (Exaggerates word “oooozing.”) oozing out . . .
glub, glub, glub.
BILL: (Crosses to kitchen; washes hands at sink.) How can I help?
JEWEL: How 'bout if you grate the cheese? (Hands him a mimed
“mini-grater” and a chunk of cheese.)
ADDIE: Now what, Jewel?
JEWEL: Plop them into the bowl, and dribble the milk in until you get
just the right consistency.
ADDIE: Splish! Kerplunk! Oops, sorry, Jewel - - that was a bit more
than a dribble.
BILL: (Mimes grating enthusiastically.) Swoosh, swoosh!
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ADDIE: (Punctuating BILL’s “swooshes” and pouring in more milk.)
Kerplunk!
BILL: Swoosh, swoosh!
ADDIE: Kerplunk!
JEWEL: (Holds finger to her lips.) Hush! Cheese it!
ADDIE: Cheese? I thought you’d never offer! Yes, please! (Assumes
a begging position, with paws raised hopefully.)
JEWEL: (Still with finger to her lips, listens for a moment.) OK, it was
nothing; I thought I heard Gram. “Swoosh” and “kerplunk” more
quietly, guys. We don’t want to wake Gram and Gramps and spoil
the surprise.
BILL: Sorry! I’ll grate with a lighter touch - - swish, swish, swish! Here
you go. (Hands bowl of cheese to JEWEL.)
JEWEL: (Passes bowl and wire whisk to ADDIE.) Addie, will you
please stir this into the mixture?
ADDIE: (Pours in cheese and stirs.) Glub, glub, glub. Jewel, I have to
admit, this concoction doesn’t look too appealing right now, but
I’m all over anything that’s made with eggs and cheese.
JEWEL: Don’t worry, Addie. It’ll be ab fab when we finish baking it.
(Takes out an old-fashioned orange squeezer.) Bill, will you use
Gram’s orange juice thingamajig to squish up the oranges for
fresh juice? I’ll turn the skillet on and get it sizzling. (Places skillet
on stovetop and mimes pouring cooking oil in it, as BILL uses the
squeezer.)
Off stage SFX: Sssssssssss!
JEWEL: I’ll plop in the seasonings; stand back in case they spatter,
splash, or splatter. (Mimes adding seasonings from a bowl.)
Off stage SFX: (louder) SSSSSSSSSSS!
JEWEL: This has been a real adventure in onomatopoeia!
BILL: (Stops squeezing oranges; puzzled.) I don’t wanna be ya?
ADDIE: (Puzzled.) I don’t wanna see ya?
JEWEL: (Quickly.) Onomatopoeia. (Laughs; segments and
pronounces the word carefully.) Ah-nuh-mah-tuh-PEE-yuh.
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BILL: Jewel, I can always count on you to blurt out fancy words, but
this is the biggest one you’ve ever blabbed.
JEWEL: Onomatopoeia refers to sound words. They’re words that
imitate the sounds they make in real life.
BILL: Like burp, belch, and gargle?
ADDIE: And growl, roar, and bow-wow?
ROSCOE: (Off stage voice.) Awwwk, cheep, cheep!
BILL: Sorry, Roscoe. We didn’t mean to leave you out.
JEWEL: Yep, you’re on the right track. All the sounds we’ve made
here have made me think of onomatopoeia: the eggs cracking,
the milk kerplunking, the oil sizzling.
As JEWEL mentions each sound word, ADDIE supplies SFX.
ADDIE: Crrrack! Ker-PLUNK! Sssizzzzle!
BILL: What was that big word again, Jewel?
JEWEL: (Segments and pronounces the word carefully.) Ah-nuhmah-tuh-PEE-yuh. (She mimes pouring ingredients from the
mixing bowl and skillet into the casserole dish, which she places
in the oven.)
ADDIE: Ah-nuh-mah-tuh-PEE-yuh. It’s got a nice rhythm. I like the
beat, and it’s easy to dance to. (Beats on the bottom of a large
pot with the wooden spoon as she rhythmically chants in a conga
beat.) Onomatopoe - - YUH! Onomatopoe - - YUH! (Starts a
conga dance around the kitchen.)
BILL: (Clangs pot lids together; joins conga line with ADDIE.)
Onomatopoe - - YUH! Sizzling words, you see - - YUH!
Onomatopoe - - YUH! Sizzling words, you see - - YUH!
JEWEL joins the conga line, waving the wire whisk; they all chant the
song and do the conga around the stage. As they dance, each kicks
out a leg on the YUH! sound. At the YUH! sound, ADDIE hits the pot
and BILL clangs the lids. In the following two exchanges of dialogue,
JEWEL, ADDIE, and BILL will say most of the word “onomatopoeia,”
while ROSCOE will say the final syllable. Unbeknownst to the others,
GRAM and GRAMPS, still in their jammies, have entered and stare in
amazement at the conga line. GRAMPS wears an old-fashioned
stocking cap. GRAM sways to the beat.
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JEWEL, BILL, AND ADDIE: Onomatopoe - ROSCOE: (Off stage voice.) Awwwk!
JEWEL, BILL, AND ADDIE: Onomatopoe - ROSCOE: (Off stage voice.) Awwwk!
GRAMPS: (Over the racket, which dies down gradually as he
speaks.) I say! What the dickens is going on here? All this
clanging, clanking, and clattering!
GRAM: (Sniffing.) Sniff, sniff - - whatever it is, it smells delicious.
ADDIE: You said it, Gram. I’m drooling here.
GRAMPS: (Crossing to kitchen; looking at food.) Fresh-squeezed
orange juice, bagels . . . What a delectable spread, by jiminy!
JEWEL: Oh, I’m so sorry we woke you. I wanted to set the table, cut
some of Gram’s gorgeous roses from the garden, and call you
quietly for a surprise breakfast. This was so not a surprise!
GRAM: (Hugs JEWEL.) Oh, dear, you are all so sweet.
GRAMPS: By Jove, I beg to differ with you, Jewel. This was indeed a
surprise. We were awakened by your rousing serenade.
GRAM: (Nods.) Yes, it was a catchy little ditty - - it had a conga beat,
didn’t it?
BILL: Right! Jewel inspired us with one of her big words. What was
that word again, Jewel?
JEWEL: (Quickly.) Onomatopoeia.
GRAM: Ah, yes, I know it well - - words that imitate sounds, such as a
babbling brook or a murmuring voice.
ADDIE: Like animal sounds - - meow, buzz, hiss! (Mimes a cat, a
buzzing bee, and a slithering snake as the others clap
appreciatively.)
BILL: Or mechanical sounds - - like a doorbell’s ding, dong or a
telephone’s brrring, brrring!
GRAMPS: Indeed! In addition, poets rely on onomatopoeia to
communicate the wondrous melody of sounds in our world.
JEWEL: (Teasing.) Gramps, would you do us the honor of reciting an
example?
GRAMPS: I thought you’d never ask! Allow me to recite from Edgar
Allan Poe’s “The Bells.” (Clears throat; strikes a formal stance; as
GRAMPS dramatically recites, ROSCOE accompanies him by
ringing his bell in his birdcage, with off stage SFX.)
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“Hear the sledges with the bells - - Silver bells!
What a world of merriment their melody foretells!
How they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle,
In the icy air of night!
While the stars that oversprinkle
All the heavens, seem to twinkle
With a crystalline delight;
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the tintinnabulation that so musically wells
From the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells - - From the jingling and the tinkling of the bells.”
ALL: (Ad-libbing.) Bravo! Awesome! Go, Gramps! Yay, Roscoe!
GRAM: I still hear Roscoe jingling and jangling. (ROSCOE rings bell
with an off stage SFX.)
GRAMPS: I do believe the old chap enjoys a verse or two.
ROSCOE continues to ring the bell - - now urgently.
BILL: Hey, Roscoe, are you trying to tell us something?
All glance around, concerned and bewildered. ADDIE sniffs the air
and nudges BILL.
BILL: (Sniffing.) Um, Jewel. Do you smell something burning?
JEWEL: Oh, no! The egg bake!
Off stage SFX: Smoke alarm.
GRAM: (Runs to kitchen and seizes a towel; waves it over her head,
as BILL opens a window.) Whoosh! Let’s clear out the smoke.
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GRAMPS: (Removes his stocking cap; waves it to and fro.)
Whoosh - - away it goes.
JEWEL: (Opens oven.) Oops, the egg bake dripped and drizzled
down to the bottom of the oven. No harm done - - it looks ab fab,
if I do say so myself!
GRAM: Why don’t you set it out to cool, dear, while Gramps and I get
dressed?
BILL: Addie, let’s go cut some of those flowers Jewel wanted.
(ADDIE sniffs extravagantly and gazes longingly at the egg bake,
then reluctantly exits out the front door with BILL.)
JEWEL: How about breakfast on the patio?
GRAM: Great idea, dear; it’s a glorious day! (Exits with GRAMPS.)
JEWEL: (Chuckling; to ROSCOE.) Doesn’t it figure, Roscoe, that the
smoke alarm would go off right in the middle of a discussion
about sounds? (Looks at cage; receives no reply; shrugs and
exits out the front door.)
ROSCOE: (Bursts into conga song with an off stage voice.)
Onomatopoe - - Awwwk! Onomatopoe - - Awwwk!
GRAM and GRAMPS, who holds maracas, enter during ROSCOE’s
song. GRAMPS shakes the maracas, and he and GRAM form a
conga line and conga across the stage. Their legs kick out on
“Awwk!” They exit out the front door, as ROSCOE’s song continues.
ROSCOE: (Off stage voice.)
Onomatopoe - - Awwwk!
Onomatopoe
CURTAIN.
THE END
-
-
Awwwk!
MINI-LESSON: ONOMATOPEIA
Rev up your engine, as we vroom along to onomatopoeia.
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Definition:
A type of figurative language, onomatopoeia refers to the use of a word or a
group of words that imitate the sounds of the things or actions they represent.
In short, they are sound-effect words. For example, the word hum imitates
the sound of soft droning. The words clickety-clack imitate the sound of a
train traveling over a track.
Examples:
o The water burbled up from the fountain and splashed against the
tile.
o It was hard to fall asleep with the loud tick-tock of the grandfather
clock.
o After bawling for a moment, the baby babbled and cooed happily.
o “Ka-ching!” Mina said, when she made the first sale at her
lemonade stand.
Common Sound Words and Their Representations:
o Boing: something bouncing; a spring
o Boom: an explosion
o Bow-wow: a dog’s bark
o Cheep, cheep: a bird’s call
o Ding-dong: a doorbell
o Gurgle: bubbling from the throat
o Honk: a car’s horn; a goose’s call
o Squeak: a high-pitched cry
o Yada, yada, yada: talking on and on
o Zoom: the buzz of something speeding
MINI-TEST
Directions: Read each sentence. Underline the example of onomatopoeia in
each.
1.
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2.
3.
4.
5.
Every day on the farm the rooster woke us up with, “Cock-adoodle-do!”
Jake’s science experiment fizzed over the top of the test tube.
As hard as I tried, I just couldn’t whack the ball over the net.
Her throat was so sore that she could barely croak out a sound.
As Tamara opened the door, the contents of the closet clattered to
the floor.
Which Little Piggy cried, “Wee-wee-wee” all the way home?
6.
Answers:
1. Every day on the farm the rooster woke us up with, “Cock-adoodle-do!”
2. Jake’s science experiment fizzed over the top of the test tube.
3. As hard as I tried, I just couldn’t whack the ball over the net.
4. Her throat was so sore that she could barely croak out a word.
5. As Tamara opened the door, the contents of the closet clattered to
the floor.
6. Which Little Piggy cried, “Wee-wee-wee” all the way home?
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Activities:
o Onomatopoetry: Write a poem using onomatopoeia. Read your
completed poem aloud to a partner, and use your voice expressively
to reflect the sound words you have included.
o New Sound-Effect Words: New sound-effect words clatter, plop,
and zip into our language all the time. Listen to the sounds around
you at home, in school, when you ride in a car, or when you do a
favorite activity. Use those sounds to invent your own examples of
onomatopoeia. For example, what’s a new way of expressing the
noise your shoe makes on a floor? The way a motorcycle gains
speed? The way a strip of Velcro™ unfastens? Perform your new
sounds for others. Can they guess what you are representing?
Read All About It:
Who Says a Dog Goes Bow-Wow?, by Hank De Zutter. Dell Yearling, 1997.
Depending on where you live in the world, dogs go mong-mong and arar. De Zutter’s multicultural book, enjoyable for every age, takes a
global peek at animal sounds.
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