“Hozho”: Finding Harmony to Walk in Beauty’s Way by The Rev. Dr. Alison Halsey Minister, The First and Franklin St. Presbyterian Church Baltimore, MD “Hozho” is a Navajo word which at best can be approximated in English by combining words such as “order,” “beauty,” “balance,” and “harmony.” While I set out originally to explore the arts in relationship to spirituality what I discovered instead was the need to pursue this sense of “hozho.” It was the journey into the world of Navajo rug weaving which opened my heart and my spirit to this need in my life and the life of my congregation. God indeed moves in mysterious ways. Thanks be to God. In this reflective piece I will share with you a bit of the journey and then some thoughts about why the creative arts might be helpful in restoring both the sanity and the soul of the pastor and the congregation. Also, how such activity might be instrumental in connecting us to the “Ground of All Being” where we feel a sense of beauty and balance and harmony. Preparations for the Journey Frankly, I applied for a sabbatical grant because I needed a break. After 30 plus years in the parish ministry I was tired, felt pulled in twenty different directions, and was having a difficult time of facing another year of doing church ‘stuff’. I started thinking about what I would enjoy doing with a few months of free time and the money to make it happen and, in all honesty, what would get us the grant. “Alison Halsey on “Hohzo”: Finding Harmony to Walk in Beauty’s Way” from the website Resources for American Christianity http://www.resourcingchristianity.org/ I also realized it would need to have some bearing on the church’s ministry and so I began having conversations with members of the church. Where both connected was the world of artistic expression. More than 25 years had passed since I had set up my loom and heard it sing. Standing beneath large tapestry weavings in museums I marveled at their beauty and wondered how they could have possibly been created. Trips in my past to the Southwest introduced me a bit to the world of Navajo weaving and I was intrigued. I had read a bit about their history, their connectedness to the spirituality of the people, and the tools which made them possible. The technique in both cases was the same; I decided I wanted to learn how I too could create such. My time away was therefore designed to include a three week trip to France and Belgium with my husband to visit museums containing historic tapestries and the factories where they were and still are created; some time at home to read and weave; three weeks on the Navajo reservation in Arizona studying with a master weaver; and two weeks at the beach with our sons and their families. The church, located in the midst of the arts world of Baltimore, filled with creative people, would have an artist/pastor in residence during my absence and begin exploring ways it could and would connect to the arts in the future. As one of the elders put it, “God created and it’s hereditary!” It was our hope that exploring our creativity would bring us closer to our God. It did and it has, but certainly not in the ways we expected! Unexpected Surprises and Bumps in the Road The time in France and Belgium with my husband (who kept referring to himself as my Sherpa and chauffeur) was a marvelous way to begin the journey. It was fun to plan together and focusing our trip on a given topic was a new and fascinating way to travel. We kept cutting back all the places we would like to have gone in favor of taking a more leisurely pace and truly enjoying a given area. (Highly recommended!) The factory tours were a treat and when not in churches, museums and the like, there were long quiet walks, marvelous foods and wines. Biking under cathedral-like canopied trees along canals in Belgium was a magical experience. The European leg of the journey was a time to slow down, center my life a bit, reconnect with my spouse, and enjoy all the fruits of visiting another country. It was all that we had hoped it would be. The second leg of the journey took me to Window Rock, AZ, the capital of the Navajo People. I went alone and lived in a Comfort Inn for almost three weeks. Page 2 of 10 “Alison Halsey on “Hohzo”: Finding Harmony to Walk in Beauty’s Way” from the website Resources for American Christianity http://www.resourcingchristianity.org/ Each day I drove my rented Prius 40 miles one way out to master weaver, Jennie Slick’s compound (since I have been home she was pictured in the N.Y. Times) through absolutely gorgeous countryside. The sky was an amazing blue (think turquoise), the earth and its fantastic rock formations a beautiful red clay (which changed colors in the sun), and the roadside boasted a whole variety of various farm animals grazing freely. Jennie’s compound was typical Navajo (a few hogans, small mobile homes, a trailer or two, and one house, where a variety of family members and their friends lived). I would sit in the living room of her trailer home on a trunk and learn to weave while listening to the trials of life on the “Rez.” Children would come and go and the sagas of functional and dysfunctional family members filled our conversations as we wove. Another woman, with whom I made the connection with Jennie, visited often and took me to see various trading posts, introduced me to other weavers, arranged a day of digging up roots to create an orange dye, and shared with me the history of the people and the rugs. There were not many other ‘Anglos’ around and it felt good to be immersed in another culture which was incredibly hospitable. From feelings of being confined by the pressures of work and life in the city to being free to create in an environment, which was expansive and unique, was unbelievably restorative. This time was better than I thought possible. Something happened in the church in my absence which I am still trying to understand. We had a large celebration of the arts with a concert and visual art show before I left. We brought in a talented woman pastor who also was a performer to be the interim pastor. While people loved her preaching and style, few showed up to take part in the theatrical classes she offered and they ultimately were cancelled. The church, in reality, took a sabbatical, attendance was down, and when I returned in late August nothing was planned for the fall. The stewardship chair had quit and people seemed to be discouraged. Some thought it was time for me to leave. It took me almost a year to feel like things were somewhat like I had left them, but they weren’t really. Much has been in transition since. We began and recently completed a major renovation of the church’s 150 year-old ‘flamboyant gothic’ sanctuary and a year ago the church’s Church/Parish Coordinator of 29 years died somewhat unexpectedly. Some of our major areas of mission focus were forced to close down because of state and city budget cuts due to the recession. It was and in some ways, continues to be a difficult re-entry. A Hint of What was to Be The first thing I was told to do upon arriving at the reservation, even before meeting Jennie, was to go to the trading post and pick out three different colored skeins of yarn. Off I went, found the building, and once inside stood in a room filled with all sorts of beautiful shades of wool. How would I choose? One color of blue stood out from all the rest. That must be one, I thought. Then there was Page 3 of 10 “Alison Halsey on “Hohzo”: Finding Harmony to Walk in Beauty’s Way” from the website Resources for American Christianity http://www.resourcingchristianity.org/ this shade of rosy pink, which spoke to me, and finally, an ochre to offset the two. No reason for the colors―I just liked them. A day later I needed a fourth color so a green was added, again no apparent reason. As my first weaving grew, I played with the pattern and the colors and then on about day five as I sat weaving on my trunk I looked over the loom out the window. There it was! The colors I had chosen, for no apparent reason, were the colors of the land: the sky, the rocks, the clouds, and the cactus. I obviously had this strong need to reconnect with the earth. As I came to further discover the need also to reconnect with the “Ground of All Being”—God. I have since discovered that one of the Navajo words for weaving is “Dah'iist,” which literally means “progressing from the ground up,” which is both the world view of the Navajo, as well as the direction of the weaving. The Returning and Re-Turning At the end of my sabbatical time I felt whole, rested, and ready to resume the pastorate of the church. There were things I was excited about trying and anxious to get on with the fundraising for the building project. I tried to remain centered and calm thinking maybe just maybe I could ooze myself back into the pulpit with a new way of being. It was not to be. Too many things needed to be started up if the fall calendar was to begin, hurt feelings created by individuals in my absence needed to be mended, money needed to be raised, folks needed to be visited, plus the Sundays were a comin’ one after another. I soon found myself once again running in many directions, swamped by little details and with a ‘to do’ list beyond my doing. While away I had begun most days reading, praying a Psalm, and then being quiet, but now I was finding little time to be still and meditate. When I did find time, my mind was so full it was hard to calm all the thoughts flying around my brain. One evening while on the reservation, I found myself reaching for the pen and the paper in the hotel room to begin creating a list of things to do. I started to laugh at myself. What was I going to list? 1. Read a Psalm. 2. Roll 3 balls of yarn. 3. Eat dinner. 4. Weave at least 1 inch. 5. Phone my husband. It was crazy and I was doing it just out of habit. I told myself to put the pad and the pencil down, turn around and slowly walk away. I did, vowing not to make another list while on sabbatical. Now, however, I was swamped and there were multiple lists. I put on my Super Woman cape, doing what needed to be done. Within a year’s time I felt exhausted again. I did continue to weave a few times during the week and the weaving and the small rugs I had purchased which hung over our bed conjured up memories of peace-filled, joyous moments. They kept me going. Although I wondered, after being an effective and talented pastor for over 30 years, why was it I now felt like I was about to fail. Page 4 of 10 “Alison Halsey on “Hohzo”: Finding Harmony to Walk in Beauty’s Way” from the website Resources for American Christianity http://www.resourcingchristianity.org/ Then I picked up a book which had been around our house for awhile by Eugene Peterson titled, Under the Unpredictable Plant, and began to read it. In it, he speaks of similar struggles in his own ministry, he wrote: “In desperation I went to my church Session and resigned. ....I told them that I had no time for close personal relationships and no time for prayer. Not only was there no time, my very capacity for love and prayer had atrophied alarmingly. I told them that I had been trying to change but could not, and I could see no way out but to get out of there and get a new start someplace else.” (p. 38) Instead of accepting his resignation the wise leaders of the church asked him “What do you want to do?” His response? “My answer was that I wanted to deal with God and people. I told them, ‘I want to study God’s word long and carefully so that when I stand before you and preach and teach I will be accurate. I want to pray, slowly and lovingly, so that my relation with God will be inward and honest. And I want to be with you, often and leisurely, so that we can recognize each other as close companions on the way of the cross and be available for counsel and encouragement to each other.’” These were what I had started out intending when I became a pastor, but working in and for the church had pushed them to the fringes. Oh my gosh, I thought, that sounds just like me. I am allowing the church to pull me away from the groundedness and closeness to God. I had felt and experienced, and from that initial sense of call I had from a very early age. Looking around at the church I also saw a certain degree of frantic activity by many members with subsequent burn-out taking place. There was little sense of Hozho in my life or in the life of the church. While I wasn’t ready to go to the Session and offer my resignation as Peterson did, I did, in the context of an Advent-themed opening worship, share with the Session all of the dark places I felt in my own life and in the life of the church, which needed the light of the one coming into the world. It opened a flood gate of conversation centered on concerns about the church and their own sense of spirituality. It was a difficult, yet needed, discussion. I recommended a few ways to slow us down: move the Annual meeting to May, which would change the budgeting and the election of officers; give time for further reflection, cancel most of the meetings scheduled for January, and provide in their place materials for the congregation to, individually and corporately, engage in Bible Study and Page 5 of 10 “Alison Halsey on “Hohzo”: Finding Harmony to Walk in Beauty’s Way” from the website Resources for American Christianity http://www.resourcingchristianity.org/ prayer, discern where they felt the Spirit of God was leading them and the church. Together we decided to hire a consultant to lead us out of the non-functional muck and mire in which we found ourselves. In the past few months we have been working with the consultant to focus our energies on the questions of who we are and who are we called to be. What has clearly emerged as the major principal is the desire for an increased sense of spirituality (always helpful since we are a church!). What has also emerged is reorganizing the way we do church, using smaller focus groups to accomplish tasks. These groups, in addition to having a clear missional focus, will also offer care and spiritual growth to the participants. The overall governing body will be small in number and will be instructed and supported by the pastor. The pastor will no longer attend all the committee meetings or be responsible for issues concerning the building and the like. Hopefully, we are on the right track to providing a sense of hozho to all involved. We have also, in the process, canvassed the neighborhood to determine what areas of mission we might pursue and how we might connect with those nearby. What has kept bobbing to the surface is the arts. With the opening of our newly refurbished, magnificent sanctuary designed now also to be performance space, plus the addition of new lighting and molding turning our chapel into gallery space for the visual arts, we have created an Arts Task Force to oversee the new “The Spire Series” which is planned for this coming year. We are exploring collaborating further with the Baltimore School for the Arts, the Eubie Blake School of Jazz, and the Peabody Institute, all of whom are close by. Might the arts be the creative and restorative venue yet for the church as it was for me? Whether it be participating in the production of a beautiful piece of music or in listening to it; or in the observation of an intriguing piece of art or in the creation of it; or in the enjoyment of being challenged by a piece of poetry or in the inspiration of writing it; might such open us to the creative spirit of God within us and bring us closer to the “Ground of All Being” and one another? Perhaps our original plan for the joint sabbatical wasn’t too far off. Learning to Use the Right Side–Implications for the Church Our Bible begins, “In the beginning God created…” and day after day, eon after eon, the world came into being and God saw that “it was good!” All sorts of wonderful things God created, as Annie Dillard once wrote, “The Creator loves pizzazz!” And God created humanity and one of the first things humanity had the privilege to do was a creative act–giving name to all God’s creatures. How much fun would that have been? However, humanity didn’t feel content with life in this wonderful world called Eden so instead we opted for the complexities of living with work, scheduling, more data than we could ever process, and the need to Page 6 of 10 “Alison Halsey on “Hohzo”: Finding Harmony to Walk in Beauty’s Way” from the website Resources for American Christianity http://www.resourcingchristianity.org/ control it all. We took a giant leap on to the tread mill of life and started running, having little time to process what we were about or seeking to reconnect with our creating God. Artistic expression can draw us back to this oneness we once experienced with God, through slowing us down, centering our energies, balancing both sides of our brains, inviting us to see things in new ways, and giving us visions of what could be. Tales told within the Navajo tradition often repeat a special verb in a special tense, “ajini,” which means, “one has been saying that for a long time.” They are meant to draw the listener back to a deeper truth. Our creativity can do that. With the exception of pictorial rugs and Yei rugs, most Navajo weaving is symmetrical. If you were to fold the rug in half either length or width wise the two sides would almost match. This is again, hozho, the balance, harmony, and beauty in life. It is based upon the way the sun rises and sets each day, the cycle of the seasons over the course of a year, the parallel lives by which all humanity lives, and by the equal worth of men and women. (As an aside, homosexuals are treated equally as well since they are individuals who are thought to possess both male and female sides in one’s being.) The weaver is aware of this while weaving. When weaving in the Navajo tradition one is very conscious of this balance. The weft creates the design, the warp cannot be seen, there is a tidiness and neatness to the weaving and the warp is totally woven from the bottom to the top leaving no fringe. The only measured mark made on the warp is the center point and one’s design is focused on reaching that point. In many ways the process of such weaving is similar to walking a labyrinth–there is a journey inward, a creative vision or expectation where one wonders where the pilgrimage will take one; there is reaching the center, with time for reflection and thanksgiving; and then there is the similar journey outward, taken with new insight, and promises of new possible ventures as one learns from the past experience. It is renewing and restorative, there is expectation and there is hope. My sense is that this is true for other areas of artistic expression as well. The brilliant writer, Madeleine L’Engle wrote in her book, Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art, about the need to listen to the silence, stay open to the voice of the Spirit, and to slow down: “When I am constantly running there is no time for being. When there is no time for being there is no time for listening. I will never understand the silent dying of the green pie-apple tree if I do not slow down and listen to what the Spirit is telling me, telling me of the death of trees, the death of planets, of people, and what all these Page 7 of 10 “Alison Halsey on “Hohzo”: Finding Harmony to Walk in Beauty’s Way” from the website Resources for American Christianity http://www.resourcingchristianity.org/ deaths mean in the light of love of the Creator, who brought them all into being, who brought me into being, and you.” The dancer needs to pause and concentrate intently on her body, the musician on the performance of and technique used in his playing, the writer in the words chosen, the painter on the image in his mind which will soon find expression on the canvas. For a moment the fast paced world is put on hold and our spirits are given the permission needed to sing. Jesus was a story teller and his favorite medium was the parable. He was a master at telling them and I am sure he enjoyed the reactions of his listeners to them. His stories often didn’t make sense, upon first hearing maybe, but after further reflection there was something amiss. Even when the disciples asked for further clarification, seldom did Jesus totally explain the teachings. He teased their imaginations and made them focus for a few moments on what God might be saying to them through the parable. His creative story telling made people think–it still makes us think. The parables center our energies in the Spirit of God. Art has the power to center our energies in the Spirit of God and to bring meaning to our lives. It can set before new possibilities and hope. Once again, to quote Madeleine L’Engle: “In art we are once again able to do all the things we have forgotten; we are able to walk on water; we speak to the angels who call us; we move, unfettered, among the stars. We write, we make music, we draw pictures, because we are listening for meaning, feeling for healing. And during the writing of the story or the painting or the composing or singing or playing, we are returned to that open creativity which was ours when we were children. We cannot be mature artists if we have lost the ability to believe which we had as children. An artist at work is in a condition of complete and total faith.” (pp. 57, 58). Genesis records our coming into being this way, “So God created humankind in God’s image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27) And in choosing to become human in the person of Jesus Christ, God revealed the truth that at the heart of every human being and every creature, there is the light and wisdom that was at the beginning and through who all things have come into being. In her book, My Stroke of Insight, Jill Bolte Taylor who is a neurologist, wrote about having a stroke and what it took for her to recover. The Page 8 of 10 “Alison Halsey on “Hohzo”: Finding Harmony to Walk in Beauty’s Way” from the website Resources for American Christianity http://www.resourcingchristianity.org/ stroke primarily affected her left brain which is the part of the brain which controls all the little details and scheduling. She wrote about life from primarily just her right hemisphere: “My right mind is all about the richness of this present moment. It is filled with gratitude for my life and everyone and everything in it. It is content, compassionate, nurturing, and eternally optimistic. .....My right character is adventurous, celebrative of abundance and socially adept. ......My right mind is open to the eternal flow whereby I exist at one with the universe. It is the seat of my divine mind, the knower, the wise woman, and the observer. It is my intuition and higher consciousness.” (pp. 146-147) She does not mention God in her book, but clearly she experiences this oneness and joy which we would call the workings of God within our lives. It comes as no surprise that this right side of one’s brain is also the creative side. Giving ourselves permission to step outside of all the facts and figures, timelines and boundaries of our left brain and to play with all the creative energy we can muster may have wonderful consequences. We may rediscover thanksgiving, our unity as God’s children, fun in our lives, our oneness with creation, and the Spirit of God which dwells within us. Thoughts for the Continued Journey I had thought the whole notion of both myself and the church reconnecting to the arts, finding therein restoration and renewal lost or at best a far away dream. However it now seems not only possible but necessary. First and Franklin St. Presbyterian Church sits in the center of the creative arts in Baltimore City. Within a five-minute walk of the church are institutions such as Center Stage, the Baltimore School for the Arts, Peabody Conservatory, the Walters Art Museum, the Maryland Historical Society, the Meyerhoff Symphony Hall, the Lyric Opera House, the Maryland Institute College of Art, the Eubie Blake School of Jazz, and the city’s principal theatrical casting agency. It would be incredibly exciting for members and the community-at-large to see the church provide opportunities to explore their creative energies in the context of a spiritual discipline. All these interconnecting programs and institutions reflect the conviction that God is at work in our society, and especially in our city, through the arts. I don’t see art as just the “pretty” or the “traditional,” but open to all. The congregation by nature and by conviction reaches out to challenge, to welcome, to be faithful, and to learn. The arts can help them do this. I also hope to find ways to unite those energies in service to God within the city’s lower income neighborhoods Page 9 of 10 “Alison Halsey on “Hohzo”: Finding Harmony to Walk in Beauty’s Way” from the website Resources for American Christianity http://www.resourcingchristianity.org/ near the church and in the elementary school located therein with which we have a relationship. As a congregation of very artistic folk, I hope we might begin to explore our own creativity in this light, as well as offering programs with artists in residence, concerts, theater, and performances which invite others in our community to take the journey with us. It is my hope that exploring our creativity will reunite us to God, give us new dreams, and make of us a more Spirit filled people. That the creative energy will be life giving, not life draining. That it will bring Hozho and hope to our individual and corporate lives. There is a prayer taken from a Nightway Ceremony which suggests the repetitive motion of weaving which reads: My feet for me restore. My legs for me restore. My body for me restore. My mind for me restore. My voice for me restore. Might I add: My soul for thee restore. Thy church for thee restore. Page 10 of 10
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