15
Uncle Podger Hangs a Picture
“Little knowledge is a dangerous thing,” says the proverb What a man
with expertise accomplishes smoothly, a man with little knowledge
spoils the work and crests problems for himself and for others.
You never saw such a commotion up and down a house, in all your life as when my uncle Podger
undertook to do a job. A picture would have come home from the frame-maker’s and be standing in
the dinging room waiting to be put up and Aunt Podger would ask what was to be done with it and
Uncle Podger would sat:
“Oh, you leave that to me. Don’t you any of you, worry yourselves about that. “I’ll do all that.”
And then he would take off his coat, and begin. He would send the girl out for six- pen’orth2 of
nails and then one of the boys after her to tell what size to get, and from that he would gradually work
down and start and the whole house.
“Now you go and get me my hammer”, Will he would shout, “and you bring me the rule Tom,
and I shall want the step- ladder3 and I had better have a kitchen chair too and Jim, you run round to
Mr. Goggles and tell him Pa’s kind regards, and hopes his leg’s better and will be lend him his spirit–
level4? And don’t you go, Martha, because I shall want somebody to hold me the light, and when the
girl comes back, she must go out again for a bit of picture-cord,5 and Tom ! Tom you come here I shall
want you to hand me up the picture.”
And then he would lift up the picture and drop it and it would come out of the frame, and he
would try to save the glass and cut himself and then he would spring round the room, looking for his
handkerchief. He could not find his handkerchief, because it was in the pocket of the coat he had taken
off, and he did not know where he had put the coat, and all the house had to leave off looking for his
tools and start looking for his coat, while he would dance round and hinder6 them.
“Doesn’t anybody in the whole house know where my coat is ? I never came across such a set
in all my life upon my word I didn’t. Six of you ! and you can’t find a coat that I put down not five
minutes ago ! Well, of all the..”
Then he’d get up and find that he had been sitting on it, and would call out.
“Oh, you can give it up ! I’ve found it myself now. Might just as well ask the cat to find anything
as expect you people to find it.”
And, when half an hour had been spent in tying up his finger, and a new glass had been got, and
1- disorder noisy disturbance. 2- short form for six penny worth. 3- a portable ladder with steps. 4- a glass tube filled
with liquid to show if a surface is horizontal 5- thick string for hanging picture. . 6- obstruct, delay
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the tools, and the ladder, and the chair, and the candle had been brought, he would have another go, the
whole family, including the girl and the charwoman7, standing round in a semi- circle, ready to help.
Two people would have to hold him there, and a fourth would hand him nail, and a fifth would pass him
up the hammer, and he would take hold of the nail, and drop it.
“There !” he would say, in an injured tone, “now the nail’s gone”.
And we would all have to go down on our knees and grovel8 for it, while he would stand on the
chair, and grunt,9 and want to know if he was to be kept there all the evening.
The nail would be found at last, but by that time he would have lost the hammer.
“Where’s the hammer ? What did I do with the hammer ?” “Great heavens ! seven of you
gaping10 round there and you don’t know what I did with the hammer?”
We would find the hammer for him and then he would have lost sight of the mark he had made on
the wall. Where the mail was to go in, and each of us had to get up on the chair beside him, and see if
we could find, and we would each discover it in a different place and he would call us all fools, one after
another and tell us to get down. And he would take the rule, and remeasure and find that he wanted half
thirty - one and three eighth inches from the corner, and would try to do it in his head, and go mad.
And we would all try to do it in our heads and all arrive at different results, and sneer” at one
another And in the general row,12 the original number would be forgotten, and Uncle Podger would
7- a woman hired for house work. 8- crawl 9- make a short low sound in the throat 10- stars open mouthed and in
surprise. 11- show contempt by means of a derisive smile utter contemptuous words. 12- noisty disturbance.
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125
have to measure it again.
He would use a bit of string this time and at the critical moment, when the old fool was leaning
over the chair at an angle of forty five, and trying to reach a point three inches beyond what was
possible for him to reach, the string woud slip, and down he would slide13 on the piano, a really fine
musical effect being produced by the suddenness with which his head and body struck all the notes at
the same time.
And Aunt Maria would say that she would not allow the children to stand round and hear such
language.
At last, Uncle Podger would get the spot fixed again and put the point of the nail on it with his left
hand and take the hammer in his right hand. And, with the first blow he would smash14 his thumb, and
drop the hummer with a yell,15 on somebody’s toes.
Aunt Maria would mildly observe that the next time Uncle Podger was going to hammer a mil
into the wall, she hoped he’d let her know in time so that she could make arrangements to go and spend
a week with her mother while it was being done.
“Oh ! you women you make such a fuss over everything. Uncle podger would reply” picking
himself up.” why, I like doing a little job of this sort.”
And then he would have another try, and at the second blow, the nail would go clean through the
plaster and half the hammer after it, and Uncle Podger be precipitated16 against the wall with force
nearly sufficient to flatten his nose.
Then we had to find the rule and the string again and a new hole was mode. and about midnight
the picture would be up- very crooked17 and insecure,18 the wall for yards round looking as if it had
been smoothed down with a rake,19 and everybody dead beat20 and wretched- except Uncle Podger.
“There you are he would say, stepping heavily off the chair on to the charwoman’s corns and
surveying21 the mess.22 he had made with evident pride. “Why some people would have had a man in
to do a little thing like that !”
- Jerome K. Jerome
A-
The words given in column A are jumbled up Unscramble the words write them in
gs in column B.
column B, and match them with their meaning
A
B
(a)
shams
a tool for breaking things, drawing nails.
(b)
dewrecth
unnecessary excitement.
(c)
remmah
to break violently and noisily into many pieces.
(d)
sufs
feeling ill
13- move smoothly over. 14- strike heavily with crushing blow. 15- loud sharp cry. 16- to make something happen
suddenly or sooner 17- not straight, bent. 18- not safe. 19- long- handled tool with prongs. 20- - exhausted. 21- take
a general view of 22- state of confusion, disorder.
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Uncle Podger Hands a Picture
B-
g supply it from the following
g list. Put
In the sentences given below one word is missing
the word in its correct form :(invent, find out,
create , discover,
produce. )
a.
James Watt watched water in the kettle boil and this led to______ of the
steam engine.
b.
A great artist is one who can________ a thing of beauty out of the raw material of life.
c.
Harvey ___________ the process of blood circulation.
d.
We must_________ more food in order to feed our people.
e.
The scientist wanted to_______ what had made his experiment go wrong.
A.
g questions in one or two sentences each.
Answer the following
1.
What happened every time Uncle Podger undertook to do a job ?
2.
Why could Uncle Podger not find his handkerchief ?
3.
From the hints given in the story, find out how many people lived in Uncle Podger’s house.
4.
What would happen when the dropped nail had been found ?
5.
B.
What would lead Aunt Maria to say that she would not allow the children to stand round and
hear such language ?
g questions in two to four sentences each :
Answer the following
1.
List the accessories and tools that Uncle Podger needed for hanging a picture.
2.
Describe how the whole family would help the injured Uncle Podger in hanging the picture a
second time.
3.
What incident leads you to believe that Uncle Podger’ family was not good at mental maths.
4.
What was Aunt Maria’s reaction at Uncle Podger’s hanging the picture?
5.
C.
Describe the aftermath of Uncle Podger’s successful hanging of the picture.
gh at Uncle Podg
ger- while going
g throug
gh the story ‘Uncle
One can’t help but laug
ger hang
gs a picture’. Explain.
Podg
The phase and clause
Look at the sentence .
The sun rises in the east .
It was a sunset of great beauty .
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127
The tops of the mountains were covered with snow .
Examine the group of words : ‘In the east’, ‘of great beauty’ or ‘of the mountains’.
Each of them makes sense , but not complete sense . Such a group of words, which makes
sense, but not complete sense and is without a Finite verb, is called a phrase .
Now look at these sentences.
He has a chain which is made of gold .
We can not start while it is raining .
I think that you have made a mistake .
Examine the group of words underlined ‘which is made of gold’, It contains a subject (which)
and a predicate (is made of gold) Such a group of words which forms part of a sentence and contains
a subject and a predicate, is called ‘a clause’.
Sentences : Simple, Compound and Complex.
Examine the following sentences
1.
The heavens declare the glory of god.
2.
Night came on and rain fell heavily and we all got very wet.
3.
They rested when evening came.
We see that sentence 1 has only one subject and one predicate . It has only one finite (tense
carrying ) verb Such a sentence is called a simple sentence. Sentence 2 consists of three parts.
(i)
Night came on.
(ii)
Rain fell heavily.
(iii)
We all got very wet.
These three parts are joined by the co-ordinating conjunction and each part contains a subject
and a predicate of its own. Each part makes a good sense by itself, and hence can stand by itself as a
complete sentence; each part is there -fore ‘a clause’.
Each ‘clause’ is independant of the other or is of the same order or rank Thus a sentence which
is made up of two or more independent clauses is called’ a compound sentence.
Sentence 3 consists of two parts :(i) They rested
(ii) when evening came.
•
Each part contains a subject and a predicate of its own and forms part of a large sentence each
part therefore is a clause.
•
‘They rested’ makes a good sense by itself and hence can stand by itself as a complete sentence.
It is therefore called the ‘principal’ or ‘main clause’.
•
The clause ‘when evening came’, can not stand by itself and make good sense. It is dependent
on the clause ‘they rested’, it is therefore called ‘a dependent’ or ‘subordinate clause.’
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Uncle Podger Hands a Picture
•
Thus a sentence which is made of one main clause and one or more subordinate clauses is called
a complex sentence.
Look at the following sentences and state their kind (simple, compound or complex)
1.
God made the country and man made the town———————————
2.
Your reward is great in heaven. ___________________
3.
Roses smell sweet ( _____________________ )
4-
Listen carefully and take notes. ( _____________________ )
5-
There was a philosopher who chose to live in a tub.( _________________ )
6-
They always talk who never think ( _____________________ )
There are three kinds of clauses
Noun clauses, Adverbial clause and Relative clause.
(i)
Noun Clause.
Look at the sentences given below :
Aunts Maria would say that she would not allow the children round.
This sentences can be divided into two parts :
a)
Aunt Maria would say.
b)
That she would not allow the children round.
The part (a) makes complete sense by itself, while part (b) depends on part (a) to make complete
sense. It is joined with part (a) by a subordinating conjuction ‘that’ It functions as the object of the verb
‘would say’. It is therefore the noun clause.
As Noun clause is a group of words which contains a subject and a predicate of its own, and
does the work of a Noun.
As Noun clause is a subordinate clause which does the work of a noun in a complex sentence. It
can be :
(i)
The subject of a verb
That he will succeed is certain
Whether we can start tomorrow seems uncertain.
How he could assist his friend was his chief concern.
(ii)
The object of a transitive verb
I can not tell what has become of him.
Do you know when the train will arrive ?
I asked the boy how old he was .
I did not know who he is.
Tell me why you did this.
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129
(iii)
The object of a preposition
Pay careful attention to what I am going to say.
It depends on how it is done.
There is no meaning in what you say.
(iv)
In apposition to a noun or pronoun.
The report that he was killed is untrue.
It was unfortunate that you were absent.
My verdict that the prisoner shall die was correct.
(v)
The complement of verb of incomplete predication.
My wish is that I may please you.
This is where I live.
Life is what we make it.
•
•
g sentences.
Underline the Noun clauses in the following
1.
I went to see what had happened.
2.
I earn whatever I can.
3.
Where we were to lodge that hight was the problem.
4.
The police must know where he is living.
5.
It seems that he is a doctor.
6.
His great fear is that he may fail.
7.
I was unfortunate that you were absent.
8.
There is no meaning in what you say.
g a Noun clause.
Combine these sentences using
eg.
How did the burglar get into the house ? Smita knows.
Smita knows how the burglar got into the house.
1.
When did you buy the book ? I want to know.
2.
How did Neil Armstrong go to the moon ? It was explained to us.
3.
Who is the dancer ? The chief guest wanted to know. 3
4.
Where are the saplings ? Please tell the gardener ?
5.
What was your grandfather’s name ? We’d like to know.
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Uncle Podger Hands a Picture
The Accident
The teacher shows the picture of an accident.
“After the accident, the policeman asked six witnesses what they had seen. Only one witness
made a correct statement. The other five witnesses all made one mistake.
Which is the correct statement? Can you spot the one mistake in each of the other statements? What
are they?”
The Teacher reads out one by one the statements given by the witness.
Witness A
“I was standing on the corner at about ten o’clock. I heard a crash. The car
ran into the boy. The boy fell out on to the street. He was unconscious.
Witness B
“I was on my way to the butcher’s when it happened. I heard the sound of
breaking glass. I thought it was a smash and grab raid. I ran round the corner. The
car had run straight over to the boy. What a mess!”
Witness C
“I didn’t see it properly, because I need new glasses. The car had just pulled
away from the stop. The boy shot out in front of it. What an idiot! He’s lucky to be
alive. It happened about eleven o’clock, I think.”
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131
Witness D
“I was just across the road when it happened. The boy was coming out of the
side street. He didn’t see the car. The car driver tried to stop. The boy jumped out
just in time.”
Witness E
“This is a very dangerous corner. This is the second accident we’ve had here
in a week. The car was going too fast. And it was a woman car driver.
Witness F
“The boy was hurt. It was me who called the ambulance. The car hit the boy.
I don’t know what caused the accident. It happened about a quarter to ten. I was
on my way to the dentist. I’ve missed my appointment now because of this accident.”
In a Restaurant
Role Play - Amit, Sonu, Sunil, Rahul, Waiter Amit
:
Well what do you think of this , Sonu ? Do you like this restaurant?
Sonu
:
Oh, it Look’s very nice . Let’s see if we can sit over there by the window?
Amit
:
Oh, sure , let’s ask the waiter. Excuse me , could you have the table
over there by the window ?
Waiter
:
No, I’m sorry , sir . That one is already reserved .
Would you mind sitting over there ?
Amit
:
Oh, all right . Come on friends, let’s go there .
May we have the Menu Card , please .
Waiter
:
Oh, sure . Here you are, sir !
Ami
:
Thank you , What shall we have ?
Sonu
:
I would like to have some fruit juice and some snacks .
Sunil
:
I would like to have Masale Dosa and coffee .
Amit
:
OK I would prefer a North Indian Thali .
What about you , Rahul ?
Rahul
132
:
I think I shall try a South Indian Thali
Uncle Podger Hands a Picture
Sunil
:
OK let’s order . Waiter ———— A plate of Masala Dosa , a North Indian
Thali, a South Indian Thali , some snacks followed by a glass of apple juice and
coffee .
Waiter
:
OK sir , I’ll be right back .
[later]
Sunil
:
Waiter, get the bill please .
Waiter
:
Here you are, Sir.
Group or pair work : Practise the above dialogue with your friends and learn, how to place order for
food etc in a restaurant.
A.
Describe - how do you feel when your vehicle breaks down at a place where no workshop is
available nearby.
B.
Express your feeling when you tried your utmost to repair your vehicle but
in place of getting repaired , it gets more and more irreparable .
•
All of you must have seen a dictionary.
•
A dictionary deals with the words of a language . It contains various kinds of information about
words . Any standard dictionary gives us :
•
1.
The pronunciation of a word.
2.
The grammar of a word.
3.
The meaning and usage of a word.
gs of the following phrases :
Find out the meaning
up and down, up and running, update upsticks , up - beat,
up - braid, upcoming, upcountry, upfield, up - front,
up - grade, up-hill, up-hold, up-keep, up-lift.
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133