The Support of Extended Family
Five years ago, northern Alberta was booming with the oil and gas industry and people across the
country were flocking north to grab their piece of the pie. Younger generations may forget that many of
their parents followed the same boom 30 years ago that led them to Alberta. Many of those left behind
their families –parents and siblings- for opportunity, not only for themselves, but for their future
children.
My mother left her large maritime family behind in New Brunswick to follow my father, who was raised
in Toronto, to their new life in Fort McMurray and later Edmonton. They were living in an apartment,
“with only a mattress and a radio,” says Nick Johanson, construction manager for Suncor. In an effort to
locate my mother Linda, my grandmother called as many radio stations in the area as she could hoping
that her daughter would hear her message to get in touch.
Extended family can be a blessing, or a bomb waiting to go off. Some members may have opposing
views on raising children or running a home; they may also have innovative ideas or suggestions that can
improve the way a family functions. That is, if the extended family is close enough to understand the
family dynamic.
I imagine that growing up with cousins would be fun, different versions of my own parents, and we
would all be from the same clan or secret club. It seems to provide a sense of identity; we are all from
the same root source. What would it have been like to have old school grandparents, or the cool auntie
who all the kids love to be around.
As someone who has grown up with cousins being more of a myth than a fact, shadows that take on a
face or perhaps a voice once in a while, I can say with confidence that it is best to maintain contact
however you can, throughout your life and your children’s life.
Every family is different and in some this relationship with the extended family may not be possible. It is
important than to maintain a strong family bond with the immediate members, for everyone’s best
interests.
My immediate family and I are very close and maintain contact daily, even though there are 400
kilometers separating us. However, my mother usually speaks to only one of her nine siblings once a
month. Our families-including our extended families- are one the greatest supports we can have and we
should utilize it to the best of our abilities.
Children need to feel loved and connected with all members of their families. The closer a family is, the
more links in the family safety net are created. These links provide a child with feelings of love and
support, which will help them stay in a positive life path. Grandparents can be positive role models, as
well as aunts, uncles and older cousins. Chances are that each adult has a different career and life
experience to offer the children in their family.
A great way to teach young children how to use the internet in a positive way could be to show them
how to email or chat via Facebook or MSN Messenger with their cousins, aunts and uncles. Even some
savvy grandparents are tackling the internet. These are great ways to exchange photographs, stories
and events that are taking place in one another’s lives. Also, don’t forget that the phone is still one of
the best ways to stay in touch.
This column was written by Jesseca Johanson. For information on parenting and other family resources,
go to www.fsca.ca. Or call Family Services, your parent link centre at 403-340-6400.