Spammed!
Well, let’s see, there are two definitions of spam, with each
definition depending on whether you use a little “s” or a
capital “S” in the spelling of the word. I became reacquainted
with spam recently for reasons that only Sheila Riddle will
appreciate. Yes I am once again picking on Sheila for two
reasons. First, she is tough enough to take it, and secondly,
cause she and I go way back and picking on her is like taking
candy from a baby…so easy! But, as with taking candy from a
baby, after the fact there is always a price to be paid…so yes,
a phone call from Sheila is probably already on the way for
again referencing her in my writing…and that I can count on.
Now about spam. Spam, with a little “s” is what most folks in
the younger generation think of when the word “spam” is
used. It simply means, “unsolicited emails” on your computer,
and usually lots of ‘em. However, Spam, with a capital “S” is a
word that my generation knows well, cause we ate it, like a
lot, growing up. It comes in a can and it is what my daughter
Addie Lee loving refers to as “gross cat food looking stuff that
her daddy eats.” And yes, I love it…especially fried Spam and
eggs for breakfast.
Well, anyways, it took on a new meaning to me the other
day, which is where Sheila comes into the picture. Okay
Sheila, here’s my shout out to you. I was actually at my own
church with my family the other Sunday, a rarity for me. It
was Mother’s Day and Daniel Royster, Abbeville First’s
Student Pastor, was finishing up preaching a series on the
Baptist Faith and Message. He concluded on Mother’s Day
with a great message about the family. Well, and here it
comes Sheila, Daniel started preaching on the family from
Genesis, referencing God looking at all He had created, saying
it was all good…well, except for one thing. Man was alone
and God said that was not good…in fact, God said, he, man,
needed help. That’s right Sheila, God made man and said man
needed help, like real bad, so God made the woman. Now are
you happy Sheila? I said it! Men need help…they need
women! Well, that’s not exactly what Daniel said in his
sermon, actually not even close, but that is what I heard,
especially after the day I’d had the day before.
Okay, so let me extrapolate on this thought for a minute.
Man left to himself is not good, according to God, so God
gave the first man a woman to help him. So, like basically,
God created man and then realizing what He had just done,
said, “Woe, man needs help…like really bad!” Thus, woe-man
was created. Now, I’m quite certain, Sheila is high-fiv’n
everybody in her office say’n, “Finally, a man gets it!” So, I got
to thinking, now stay with me, does the more help a man
needs determine how many women God puts in his life to
help him? If so, then what does it say about me that God gave
me a wife, three daughters, one daughter-n-law, one granddaughter and another grand-daughter on the way, plus, three
women in my office, plus Sheila Riddle. Man, do I need help
that badly? Maybe so! Ouch, the truth hurts!
So I have been really stressed out the last month or so with
issues related to our association and churches. And on the
Saturday before Mother’s Day…it was the worst day I had had
in a while. I agreed to take Emily’s little frue-frue dog, actually
it’s a giant Labradoodle, to the place where they pamper
frue-frue dogs. It was only supposed to take three hours, so I
agreed to take her and go to the office and cut grass. Well,
long story short, while cutting the grass, the back tire fell off
my big zero turn mower. Now that was a big deal to get it
back off the ground, go get parts and fix it without tools. So,
after that hassle and loading it back up, I went to pick up the
frue-frue dog, only she wasn’t ready. So I went home to offload the mower and trailer and returned to Greenwood to
pick up the frue-frue dog, only once again she wasn’t ready. I
dilly-dallied around Greenwood, returned at the appointed
time, and that frue-frue dog still was not ready. I told the lady
in the shop to please get some help with that dog and she
could tell by my tone I had had enough. And trust me, when I
have had enough, I have had enough! I texted Emily my
feelings about the whole thing and how her frue-frue dog had
been such a hassle and well, later I wished I could have taken
that text back in a big way.
Later that night, she snuck into the house and left me a goody
bag as if to apologize for the horrible day I’d had. I got to
thinking and apologized to her the next day. I felt awful! I had
hurt my little girl’s feelings…one of them girls God had sent to
help me. But I got to looking at the goody bag, and amongst
the Goldfish (with extra cheese I might add) and mini-moon
pies was, of all things, a can of Spam. The more I thought
about that the harder I laughed. Now I know the way to a
man’s heart is through his stomach, but…Spam?! I’m still
laughing! Not a box of chocolates…Spam! Because she knows
me so well and loves me so much, she wanted to speak my
love language to “help” me through my struggle, so she gave
me, of all things, Spam.
In other words, she Spammed me! And by so doing, she
reminded me why God sent so many women into my
life…because He loved me and wanted to help
me…ahhh…remember Genesis? That can of Spam has
become like a precious gift to me because it reminded me
that life can be a struggle and everybody needs help. I may
put that can of Spam on my shelf with other mementoes in
my office. Through my temper tantrum, she showed me what
her Mama taught her…grace and unconditional love.
I’m a grandfather and still learning! Thank you Lord for
realizing that men need help and for creating a wonderful
creature called woe-man. I’m so grateful for my beloved wife,
all my girls, and yes, even Sheila Riddle. In fact, when I’m
having one of those really bad days and thinking like I’m
Elijah, the only one having a really bad day, I think I’ll bring
out that can of Spam, and realize that God knew these days
were coming, so He gave me Kim, Lacy, Emily, Addie Lee,
Katelyn, Lettie Ann, and my next…granddaughter. How much
more blessed could men be than to be helped along in life by
wonderful, caring women. Spammed...it’s what every man
needs ever now and then…just say’n!