Understanding &
Managing Adolescents
Prepared by: Mrs. Sng Kian Hoe
Presented by: Mdm. Vivian Yee
Sat 26 Jan 2013
2. Understanding Adolescents
Definition:
• Adolescence =
in transitional phase
of developing from
child into an adult
• (12 – 18 years of age)
3. Erikson’s stages of Psychosocial
development
Basic Conflict: Identity vs. Role Confusion
Important events: Social Relationships
Teens need to develop a sense of self and
personal identity
• Success leads to an ability to stay true to yourself
• Failure leads to role confusion results in feelings of
inferiority
•
•
•
4. Changes in 4 major areas
Physical changes
• Weight
• Height
What is
• Other Bodily changes
happening
• Body mature ready for sex
to me?
and babies but their emotions are not
• Strongly encourage parents to discuss about
physical changes
5. Changes in 4 major areas
Mental changes
Brain Development
• Frontal brain that is associated with thought vs. part of the brain
that is associated with feelings
• Is able to process information at more conceptual level
• Use abstract reasoning, make hypothesis and use deductions
• Can be logical, persuasive, argumentative and manipulative
• Act without thinking and allow their feelings to overcome them =
being impulsive, irrational and lack self control
6. Changes in 4 major areas
Mental changes
• Mood swings -Outburst of anger and disrespect for a few
minutes and then swing back to love and compliance
• Reason vs. emotion. Can use thoughts and judgment,
then switch to feelings and impulsiveness within
seconds. Intense and extreme emotions – affect
judgment
• Adolescent values, opinions and perceptions are fluid
and unpredictable
7. Changes in 4 major areas
• Teens are divided people. Insides are in conflict with
each other. Feeling and thoughts are disjointed from
each other. Teens often don’t know what they think or
feel because on an almost daily basis, they are becoming
a different person.
• Engage your teens with healthy and helpful people for
experiences to aid in brain development
• Environment and human interaction affects brain growth
8. Changes in 4 major areas
Personal changes
• Dependence v. independence
• Question beliefs and values of family and challenges
authority
• Feels more confident about dislikes and likes
• Is more invested in ‘today’ than ‘tomorrow’
• Challenges and tries out his identity, role, power and skills
9. Changes in 4 major areas
• Adolescent feels alive when he does something
right and meaningful which makes it difficult for
him to postpone gratification
• Parents to give structure consistently and
love to help teen navigate all these changes
10. Changes in 4 major areas
Social changes
• Family vs. friends.
• Show empathy for teen for what he is going through
• Offer plenty of patience, love and guidance
• Home a safe place for him to return to when he feels
insecure or if he fails
FAMILY
VS
FRIENDS
11. Managing Adolescents
Characteristics of a
healthy adolescent
• Make connections
• Develop good values
• Are responsible
• Accept reality
• Make mistakes but not severely – able to learn from it
and not repeat
• Make good choices (e.g. friends/manage emotions )
• Challenge their parents, question their authority and
their opinions
12. Managing Adolescents
Role of care-givers
• Understand the Teenage World
• Revisit your own adolescence
• Get connected
• Be a role model - Walk the talk
• Be United in Your Parenting
• Ensure a safe and secure home environment
• Establish good boundaries, consequences and
structure
13. Managing Adolescents
What are boundaries?
• They are how you define yourself, say who you are / are not,
set limits establish consequences. When you say ‘no’ to
someone’s bad behaviour, you are setting a boundary.
• Boundaries help people to clarify what they are and are not
responsible for in life.
• Question: I don’t really have good boundaries. How can I
dispense what I don’t possess?
• A teen without boundaries needs an involved parent with good
boundaries
14. Managing Adolescents
Why do teens need boundaries?
• Teen’s desire for total freedom and the parents’
desire for control
• Freedom comes with responsibility
When boundaries are not in place
• Often do not have good control over their
behaviour
• Do not have a clear sense of responsibility for their
actions
• Do not have much self-discipline and structure
15. Managing Adolescents
How to set boundaries?
• Express your love and
concern for his welfare
and interest
• Talk about truth
• Freedom
• Reality
16. Managing Adolescents
How to set rules and consequences?
• A consequence can be either removing the desirable
(more effective) or adding to the undesirable to your
teen’s life as a result of a rule violation
• Rules and consequences must be reasonable and
appropriate
• Involve your teen in the rules and consequences
• Aware of the different consequences (e.g. Natural)
• Avoid punishment but use LOGICAL consequences
17. Managing Adolescents
How to set rules and consequences?
• Have more than one kind of consequences
• Use reward strategically
• No reward for doing what is normally
required in life
• Follow through
18. Managing Adolescents
Aware and be in collaboration for
your child’s future…
• Sec. 1 target setting
• Express Stream L1R5 = 14 points
• Normal Stream EMB3 = 14 points
• Increase in responsibility and increase in
pressure to do well
• Teen’s grades will affect the path of his life
19. Managing Adolescents
How to handle this problem?
• Determine your teen’s motivation.
• Teen who is motivated
• Teen who is not motivated
• Determine standards, rewards and consequences
on 3 levels: Not OK, OK, Excellent
• Establish a daily structure for his after school day
• Weekends
• Monitor
• Get help
20. Managing Adolescents
Don’t let your teen put his future at risk
simply because he’s unmotivated or
lack of structure.
Thank
You