B-I-N-G…OH!
TEN MINUTE PLAY
By Jonathan Markella
Copyright © MMXIV by Jonathan Markella
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B-I-N-G…OH! by Jonathan Markella
Copyright © MMXIV by Jonathan Markella
B-I-N-G…OH!
By Jonathan Markella
SYNOPSIS: The game of Bingo is all about combinations, and so is love.
Love between fathers and daughters, mothers and sons. Two lonely people try
to find their way in the world over a game of Bingo. A comedy about letters
and numbers, loneliness and love.
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CAST OF CHARACTERS
(ONE MAN, ONE WOMAN)
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JACK (M) ....................................... A 48 year-old divorced father and
devoted son, who fills his empty hours
doting on his elderly mother, driving her
where she needs to go and helping her
around the house.
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DEB (F)........................................... A 47 year-old divorced woman who finds
herself lonely after her father passes
away, so she continues to frequent the
Bingo hall where they bonded.
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SETTING
A large VFW hall, bustling with senior activity and all the sights and sounds
of Bingo. Jack and Deb meet in adjoining seats at a large function table full
of Bingo players. As elaborate or as simple as the theatrical venue allows.
NOTE: The Bingo combinations that Deb focuses on are implied and not
necessary as a recorded audio element.
PROPS
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A table
Two folding chairs
Two Bingo cards
Two markers.
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B-I-N-G…OH! by Jonathan Markella
Copyright © MMXIV by Jonathan Markella
AT RISE:
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JACK: (Walks up to an empty chair in a large, busy Bingo hall.)
Is this seat taken?
DEB: (Looking straight ahead, concentrating on the Bingo caller.)
B-4.
JACK: What…? Oh, sorry, sure… (Starts to walk away.)
DEB: (Takes his card, puts it down next to her and marks it.)
B-4…this is Bingo, you snooze, you lose.
JACK: I’m sorry, what? I thought you said “before”…like someone had
it before….
DEB: (Looking straight ahead, waiting for the next Bingo call.)
They just called B-4…sit…you can’t play if you don’t listen.
JACK: Oh, well I’m not here to play, I’m just… (Sitting.)
DEB: Everyone’s here to play, it’s the ones who are here to win that
you have to watch out for…I-7…c’mon… (She reaches over and
marks his card.)
JACK: Oh, no, see…I’m just here with my mother…just watching out
for her…I’m not… (Hand gesture over the table.) this…
DEB: Mother, huh? Where is she?
JACK: She told me to move my seat…said I was giving her bad luck.
(Looking around the room.)
DEB: O…
JACK: Oh…?
DEB: O…O-62... (She reaches over and marks his card.)
JACK: Oh! You’re really playing here…sorry. Oh geez… (Ducking
behind Deb’s shoulder.) I think I know that guy.
DEB: What guy? (Looking straight ahead.)
JACK: The guy over there in the red sweater-thing…he’s always in
the food court at the KENO monitor.
DEB: So you’re not “this”… (Gesturing to table.) but you’re…“that”?
(Pointing in direction of KENO guy.)
JACK: Oh…no…mother again…I take her places. She likes the food
court…and Bingo…I just…worry about her…that’s all…
DEB: What’s to worry about? She raised you didn’t she? N-33.
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B-I-N-G…OH! by Jonathan Markella
Copyright © MMXIV by Jonathan Markella
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JACK: Yeah, but that was a long time ago…she was younger
then…she’s starting to forget stuff…she’s a little slower... (Looking
around the room.)
DEB: G-51…c’mon keep up….
JACK: God this moves fast…
DEB: It’s ‘cause you’re distracted.
JACK: I lost track of my mom…just want to keep an eye on her…
(Searching the room with his eyes.)
DEB: Where is she?
JACK:
Oh, she’s there… (Pointing.) blue-print shirt…spotless
Sketchers… (Gives an explanatory tip of his head.) mall-walking.
DEB: That’s your mom? Blue-print Sketchers?
JACK: Yes, why?
DEB: B-9.
JACK: What?
DEB: B-9. Stop worrying.
JACK: What do you mean?
DEB: Your mom, blue-print-Sketchers? She’s known as Shirley the
Shill…she runs numbers for that whole side of the hall. They say no
one gets Bingo without her letting it happen.
JACK: What…? That doesn’t sound like her. She forgets to eat lunch
sometimes. Are you saying she’s DEB: She’s connected, that’s all I’m saying.
JACK: I have to drive across town to make sure she points the right
end of the remote at the TV and you’re telling me she’s the Don
Corleone of the Bingo Mafia?
DEB: I-22. I’m saying your mother is fine, sharp as a tack. She just
needs to be social, that’s all. So don’t worry so much.
JACK: I…I don’t know what to say…
DEB: But it’s nice that you worry. Moms never stop taking care of us,
even if it means letting us take care of them…whether they need it
or not. (Pause.)
JACK: How do you know so much about Bingo…and mothers…?
DEB: Had one. Been one. And I’ve spent a lot of time here, that’s all.
JACK: With your mom?
DEB: Dad. Mom passed too soon to discover the joys of VFW halls.
JACK: So where’s your…
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B-I-N-G…OH! by Jonathan Markella
Copyright © MMXIV by Jonathan Markella
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DEB: Dad? Shady Hill.
JACK: Cemetery?
DEB: He’s been gone two years.
JACK: I’m sorry.
DEB: That’s okay. Wasn’t your fault.
JACK: I didn’t say it was - it’s just what you say when…
DEB: (Turning to him.) You know, you might be bad luck. We don’t
talk about those who’ve passed around here. (Turns attention back
to Bingo caller.)
JACK: Sorry…I’m Jack, by the way…hi… (Extends his hand.)
DEB: Crap!
JACK: Oh, sorry, I thought it…
DEB: No, someone just got Bingo. Oh look… (Pointing.) it’s on your
mother’s turf. Ten to one she gets a cut of the winnings. Deb.
JACK: Deb…?
DEB: It’s my name, Deb. (Looking at his card.) Oh, looks like you’re
O-less…
JACK: I beg your pardon?
DEB: You had B, the I, N and G…you were just one O away. There’s
a joke in there somewhere…but I don’t know you well enough…
JACK: Uh…
DEB: And look… (Pointing again.) the winner is the “fallen and can’t
get up” lady…
JACK: Oh, you mean from the commercial…?
DEB: No, from the front steps. Last spring she fell and couldn’t get up.
It was a whole big thing.
JACK: This whole evening is moving much faster than I thought…and
my mother’s the ringleader…
DEB: So that means you can relax and enjoy yourself.
JACK: Oh, this isn’t usually how I enjoy myself…
DEB: (Flips over his and her cards.) New game. G-47. So how do you
then?
JACK: Do what?
DEB: Enjoy yourself?
JACK: Oh, I don’t…know…I…
DEB: You’re certainly bending yourself into a pretzel telling me
everything you’re not.
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B-I-N-G…OH! by Jonathan Markella
Copyright © MMXIV by Jonathan Markella
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JACK: That’s because I’m not who I used to be and not too thrilled
with who I am, I guess. Oh my God, did I just say that…?
DEB: (Looking straight ahead, waiting for the next call.) It’s okay – I
have been told my blunt demeanor and staccato speech patterns
tend to catch people off guard. It’s made for a few embarrassing
moments. B-2.
JACK: S’cuse me?
DEB: Dad’s lucky combo…B-2…B squared…Billy Bennett…double
B…
JACK: Oh, nice.
DEB: He was. I used to take him here twice a week. Used to worry
about him, just like you and your mom. And I’d see him spring to life
the minute he walked through these doors…
JACK: So, why are you…
DEB: Here? Habit. N-48. After spending so much time here with him,
I like it. I miss it. And there’s not much else to do.
JACK: Does it always smell like this?
DEB: It’s the third Saturday of the month.
JACK: Uh…care to elaborate on that, or…?
DEB: Third Saturday afternoon of every month they have a Meat Raffle
here. Tends to leave an odor. Eventually the smell of Aqua Net
balances it out. Some nights I’m surprised this place doesn’t
spontaneously combust. (Pause.)
JACK: Don’t you have any other, uh, habits? Hobbies,
hangouts…husbands…?
DEB: Just one. And he’s long gone. Left after our son died. Couldn’t
handle it. I couldn’t either, but I never considered leaving an option.
JACK: (Apologetic.) I’m sorry. I…I didn’t mean to get too heavy…
DEB: It’s okay. You asked. It’s nice to be asked. Sometimes heavy is
good. Sometimes it beats the alternative.
JACK: (Chuckling, shaking head.) We’re a pair. Who knew Bingo was
so…heavy.
DEB: And you? Wife?
JACK: Ex.
DEB: Kids?
JACK: Two. Grown. They don’t need me as much now, and Mom
does, so here I am.
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B-I-N-G…OH! by Jonathan Markella
Copyright © MMXIV by Jonathan Markella
THE END
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DEB: And there she is. (Pointing.) Do you think Mom needs help
paying off the Bingo caller?
JACK: (Shaking his head.) I guess not. (Pause.) Look, uh, sorry if I
brought up too much about your husband and…
DEB: It’s okay, don’t worry. He left me with low self-esteem and a huge
bank account. It’s an interesting combination.
JACK: (Thoughtful pause.) You know, that’s what I think this Bingo
thing is all about, isn’t it? In its simplest form? Combinations. Letters
and numbers…right brain and left brain…
DEB: (Slight smile.) Mothers and sons.
JACK: Fathers and daughters. (Long pause.) Can I say something
without offending you?
DEB: No more than you already have?
JACK: I think we can do better…strike that…different. We can do
different things…and we should…other than Bingo.
DEB: Different? Like…what?
JACK: I don’t know, but I think this - (Gesturing between them.) is an
interesting combination. Us. Two. You. And me.
DEB: I have to warn you. I’m a little weird. (Pause.) More than a little.
JACK: And more than a little interested.
DEB: Says who?
JACK: Says me, since you’ve missed the last 5 calls.
DEB: B-7, N-22, I-19, G-63, and O-55.
JACK: You know, you had me at B-4…
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B-I-N-G…OH! by Jonathan Markella
Copyright © MMXIV by Jonathan Markella
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NOTES
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NO PERFORMANCE RIGHTS CONVEYED.