ACADEMIC WRITING FOR
POSTGRADUATE STUDENTS:
NUTS AND BOLTS
Terminology
Revising: focus on content, ie “re-vision”, to get
to the deepest, most thorough exploration of the
topic possible
Editing: focus on coherent structure, consistent
style
Proofreading: focus on accurate vocabulary,
spelling, grammar, & punctuation
In this workshop, students will learn primarily about
editing for style, and about some proofreading issues:
• writing paragraphs
• active/passive voice and first person/impersonal
styles
• tenses
• formal/informal academic language
PARAGRAPHS
One of the most significant features of good
academic writing is appropriate and effective
paragraphing.
Why are paragraphs so important? They
assist the reader by:
• breaking up the “wall of words”, and
• presenting information clearly.
When you come to edit your draft, consider each
paragraph as a “mini-text” in its own right.
Analysing the content and structure of the
paragraph will help you to focus on some
significant aspects of the writing craft at the
micro-level.
Key features are:
• unity
• cohesion
Paragraph unity
• one main idea (topic) per paragraph,
• a topic sentence, usually at the start
(sometimes at the end),
• the rest of the paragraph developing the
main idea, and
• every sentence relevant to the main idea.
Review the following paragraph with the principle of
paragraph unity in mind. Would you make any changes?
Superconductivity is a phenomenon of exactly zero
electrical resistance and expulsion of magnetic fields
occurring in certain materials when cooled below a
characteristic critical temperature. It was discovered by
Dutch physicist Kamerlingh Onnes on April 8, 1911, in
Leiden. The University of Leiden was founded in 1575 by
the Prince of Orange. Like ferromagnetism and atomic
spectral lines, superconductivity is a quantum
mechanical phenomenon. It is characterized by the
Meissner effect, the complete ejection of magnetic field
lines from the interior of the superconductor as it
transitions into the superconducting state.
Review the following paragraph with the principle of
paragraph unity in mind. Would you make any changes?
Superconductivity is a phenomenon of exactly zero
electrical resistance and expulsion of magnetic fields
occurring in certain materials when cooled below a
characteristic critical temperature. It was discovered by
Dutch physicist Kamerlingh Onnes on April 8, 1911, in
Leiden. The University of Leiden was founded in 1575 by
the Prince of Orange. Like ferromagnetism and atomic
spectral lines, superconductivity is a quantum
mechanical phenomenon. It is characterized by the
Meissner effect, the complete ejection of magnetic field
lines from the interior of the superconductor as it
transitions into the superconducting state.
Review the following paragraph with the principle of
paragraph unity in mind. Would you make any changes?
Superconductivity is a phenomenon of exactly zero
electrical resistance and expulsion of magnetic fields
occurring in certain materials when cooled below a
characteristic critical temperature. It was discovered by
Dutch physicist Kamerlingh Onnes on April 8, 1911, in
Leiden. The University of Leiden was founded in 1575 by
the Prince of Orange. Like ferromagnetism and atomic
spectral lines, superconductivity is a quantum
mechanical phenomenon. It is characterized by the
Meissner effect, the complete ejection of magnetic field
lines from the interior of the superconductor as it
transitions into the superconducting state.
Adequate development
Be wary of one-sentence paragraphs. More often
than not, a one-sentence paragraph is indicative
of insufficient development of the topic.
Having defined the topic of your paragraph, it is
important that you explore the topic sufficiently
to satisfy the reader’s curiosity or to allow you to
build on the idea in subsequent paragraphs.
Developmental devices that everyone will be
familiar with include:
• definitions,
• supporting evidence,
• explanations,
• contrasting evidence,
• quotes,
• personal experiences
• examples,
• etc...
Cohesion
Smooth flow in writing can be achieved by using a
variety of devices known as linking words (or
discourse markers) that make explicit the conceptual
connection between sentences or clauses.
Much of the logic of your analysis of literature and
data is made visible by the use of these words.
Nevertheless, be careful not to overuse them.
• adding to or amplifying what you have just
said:
also, similarly, furthermore, in addition,
then, moreover, in other words, likewise
• indicating a contrast between what came
before and what follows:
nonetheless, but, by contrast, yet,
nevertheless, however, on the contrary,
despite, conversely, although,
• indicating a conclusion drawn from
information previously presented, or a
statement which otherwise creates a sense of
finality:
in conclusion, consequently, thus, to
conclude, in summary, accordingly,
therefore, as a result, for that reason, hence
• numerically or sequentially marking the points
you make:
first, firstly, initially, second, secondly,
thirdly, next, finally
• linking to a specific example to support what
you have just said:
for example, for instance, to illustrate
Other language features which enhance
cohesion:
Conjunctions link clauses and simultaneously
show the nature of the link between the ideas in
the two clauses. Examples include and, but,
while, whereas.
Pronouns show the link between ideas by
referring back to a noun used earlier (the
“antecedent”). Examples are he, she, it and also
this, those (relative pronouns).
Effective paragraphing example:
paper by Mason Durie (2011)
VOICE AND “I” STATEMENTS
What is “voice” (as a grammatical concept)?
• Active voice: The girl ate the apple.
When a sentence is in the active voice, the subject of
the sentence is the agent of the action described in
the sentence.
• Passive voice: The apple was eaten by the girl.
In the passive construction, the agent of the action
described in the sentence is not the subject.
The passive voice also allows the agent of the
action to go unnamed: The apple was eaten.
This feature of the passive voice allows us to
make our writing impersonal.
Thus, when reporting:
• one’s own actions (research procedures, data
and analysis) or
• one’s own thoughts (reflections and opinions),
the use of personal pronouns “I”, “we”, “me”,
“us” can be avoided.
In certain disciplines this is expected – it is the
standard style of scientific and technical
writing.
It presents information as objective fact,
conforming to the positivist notion of an
objectively existing reality. There is no place for
personal opinion.
Q: Which version would you expect to see in a
scientific report?
1: “I determined magnetic susceptibilities
using a SQUID magnetometer.”
2: “Magnetic susceptibilities were determined
using a SQUID magnetometer.”
Q: Which version would you expect to see in a
scientific report?
1: “I determined magnetic susceptibilities using
a SQUID magnetometer.”
2: “Magnetic susceptibilities were determined
using a SQUID magnetometer.”
A: Version 2. Version 1 would be highly unusual.
Q: Which version would you expect to see in a
business report?
1: “I told the respondents that the questionnaire
(titled ‘Business Practices Survey’) was designed
to study practices at a business-unit level.”
2: “The respondents were told that the
questionnaire (titled ‘Business Practices Survey’)
was designed to study practices at a businessunit level.”
Q: Which version would you expect to see in a
business report?
1: “I told the respondents that the questionnaire
(titled ‘Business Practices Survey’) was designed
to study practices at a business-unit level.”
2: “The respondents were told that the
questionnaire (titled ‘Business Practices Survey’)
was designed to study practices at a businessunit level.”
A: No clear answer to this one: Ask your lecturer!
WARNING: Contains 62.5% more words than
necessary!
The passive voice can be tediously wordy:
“Determination of the magnetic
susceptibilities was achieved by use of a
SQUID magnetometer.”
Pitfalls of “I” statements
The over-use of “I” statements can make the
writing appear self-centred.
Statements such as “I think…” and “I believe…”
can appear to be mere opinion.
Your thoughts on a subject should be framed in a
way that demonstrates they are based on careful
consideration:
“The evidence indicates…”
“This analysis leads me to conclude …”
Another problem: Writers referring to
themselves in the third person
“The researchers determined magnetic
susceptibilities using a SQUID magnetometer.”
There is no need to write like this!
Scientists and engineers can use the active voice
In many situations, the active voice can easily be used,
rather than the passive, eg in literature reviews:
“It was suggested by Petrovsky et al. (2000) that soil
magnetometry could be used to map industrial
pollution.”
can be rewritten as:
“Petrovsky et al. suggested (2000) that soil
magnetometry could be used to map industrial
pollution.”
TENSE
Consider the two sentences below. What do you
notice?
“Green and Brown (1997) commented that the
socioeconomic factors have been removed from
consideration in public health work by insisting on a
focusing on the agent, host, and environment as the
main determinants of disease.
[…]
White (1993) points out that disability and chronic
illness are likely to be found more frequently in groups
with lower socioeconomic status, partly because
illnesses and accidents arise more frequently in poorer
social and work conditions, and partly because job
opportunities are reduced for people with chronic
illnesses."
Consider the two sentences below. What do you
notice?
“Green and Brown (1997) commented that the
socioeconomic factors have been removed from
consideration in public health work by insisting on a
focusing on the agent, host, and environment as the
main determinants of disease.
[…]
White (1993) points out that disability and chronic
illness are likely to be found more frequently in groups
with lower socioeconomic status, partly because
illnesses and accidents arise more frequently in poorer
social and work conditions, and partly because job
opportunities are reduced for people with chronic
illnesses."
Reporting the published work of others
Referring to ideas
A published paper is accepted as “current knowledge”
by the academic community, unless it has been
retracted by the author or refuted by subsequent
publications.
Therefore, when you refer to the theories, ideas,
intellectual conclusions, previously published work,
you must respect its status as established, current
knowledge by referring to it in the present tense
Referring to ideas: Present tense examples
As concentration increases, the micelles undergo
a series of ordering transitions to form,
successively, a nematic phase and a smectic
phase (Boden, Jackson, McMullen & Holmes,
1979).
The marketing concept holds that organisational
goals are achieved by being more efficient and
effective in identification and satisfaction of
customer needs than the competition (Kotler,
2003).
Making a direct attribution to other authors
‘Direct attribution’ means the use of the
author’s name in the sentence.
Going strictly by the rules of grammar, the
past tense should be used to make a direct
attribution of ideas or statements to other
authors.
Referring to authors: Past tense example – with ideas
still referred to using the present tense
“Harrison, Price, Gavin, and Florey (2002) offered
distinctions on management styles that could have an
important impact on the effectiveness of a diverse
workforce [...]. The company’s historical background
and its individually evolved organisational culture play
an important role in business decision making.”
(Shoobridge, 2006, p. 98)
However…
you will see many instances in the literature of
authors’ statements being referred to in the
present tense.
This tense form has been described as the
‘historical present’ tense (Harvey, 2003).
Referring to authors: Present tense example – with
ideas also referred to using the present tense
“Font (2001) and Dann (1997) make the suggestion
that ecolabels are a product of businesses seeking a
point of differentiation and note that certifying
agencies push their label.”
(Fairweather, Maslin, & Simmons, 2005)
Generalising the rules for use of tenses
Referring to ideas:
Present tense
Referring to authors:
Past tense
or
Present tense
(but not both!)
FORMAL ACADEMIC LANGUAGE
Many lecturers have very clear ideas about
exactly what constitutes ‘correct academic
English’. Unfortunately, experience indicates,
they do not entirely agree among themselves.
Furthermore, there is no definitive text which
can tell us what ‘correct academic English’
looks like.
Some generally accepted rules of formality
Contractions should be spelled out in full, eg,
isn’t, weren’t, can’t, don’t, could’ve, mustn’t, it’s
Second person (you, your) should generally be
avoided.
Whole numbers zero to nine should be written in
words, while numbers 10 and above can be given
as figures.
Abbreviations should be defined upon first
use.
Gender bias should be avoided: “he or she”
rather than “he” in describing generalised
situations. “Police officer” rather than
“policeman”.
Emotive language or exaggeration is best
avoided:
“incredibly”, “amazingly”, “unbelievably”,
“obviously”
Vague descriptions should be avoided:
“a few times”, “quite high”, “a huge number”, “a
slight decrease”, “a considerable amount”
Some rules of formality about which there seem to
varying levels of agreement
• A preposition is not something a sentence
should end with.
• It is important not to carelessly split an
infinitive.
• And a sentence should never begin with a
conjunction.
Whenever it is necessary for clear and concise
writing, these rules can be safely ignored.
Reporting literature
Two constructions are seen over and over
again in essays:
“Smith (1999) states …”
or
“According to Smith (1999) …”
What alternatives can you suggest to enliven
repetitive and dull writing like this?
Manchester Phrasebank
An extensive collection of extremely useful
words and phrases to enhance your academic
writing
See www.phrasebank.manchester.ac.uk
Other useful resources
Purdue OWL (Grammar section):
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/section/1/5/
Writing Center (University of North Carolina):
http://writingcenter.unc.edu/handouts/
Guide to Grammar and Style (Rutgers University):
http://andromeda.rutgers.edu/~jlynch/Writing/contents.html
Hypergrammar (University of Ottawa):
http://www.uottawa.ca/academic/arts/writcent/hypergrammar/
References
Durie, M. (2011). Indigenous mental health 2035: Future takers,
future makers and transformational potential. Australasian
Psychiatry, 19, S8-S11. doi:
10.3109/10398562.2011.583058
Fairweather, J., Maslin, C., & Simmons D. (2005). Environmental
values and response to ecolabels among international
visitors to New Zealand. Journal of Sustainable Tourism.
13(1), 82-98. Retrieved from
http://www.tandfonline.com/loi/rsus20
Harvey, M. (2003). The nuts and bolts of college writing: The
historical present. Retrieved February 26, 2006, from
http://nutsandbolts.washcoll.edu/rhetoric.html#present
Shoobridge, G.E. (2006). Multi-ethnic workforce and business
performance: Review and synthesis of the empirical
literature. Human Resource Development Review, 5(1), 92137. doi:10.1177/1534484305285459