Indexed and Abstracted
African Journal of Social Sciences
Volume 1 Number 3 (2011), pp.10- 20
ISSN 2045-8460 (Online)
ISSN 2045-8452 (Print)
ww.sachajournals.com
GENDER PARADIGM SHIFT WITHIN THE FAMILY STRUCTURE IN KIAMBU,
KENYA
WAMUE-NGARE, Grace1 and NJOROGE, Waithera Nancy1
1
Department of Gender and Development Studies
Kenyatta University
Nairobi, Kenya
ABSTRACT
The African family is organized along gender relations that stem from patriarchy.
Patriarchy manifests itself in socio-economic and cultural structures that present
diverse gender conflicts. Cultural gender norms affect resource distribution and
power relations in the family, thereby creating gender inequalities. Members with
more access to resources have greater power and influence. Using the Resources
Theory, this paper posits that family members with more access to resources have
greater power; hence more influence. The African family has witnessed a gender
paradigm shift. This has dire consequences for both men and women. It has
improved women’s decision –making, thereby widening their autonomy. On the
other hand, it has challenged the traditionally perceived male supremacy rendering
men helpless and hopeless. By so doing, it has strained gender relations, thus
marginalizing the family further. Using a baseline survey, this paper highlights the
gender shift and its impact on the family in Kiambu, Kenya.
Keywords: Feminism, Gender, Family, Kenya
INTRODUCTION
Gender researchers world over recognize that the concrete behaviour of individuals is a
consequence of both socially enforced rules and values that are imparted through a socialization
process which prescribes and ascribes gender roles. Gender roles are acquired through a
socialization process which makes clear to each gender what is expected of him/her by the
society. Once someone has conformed to a certain gender, the behaviour traits become part of
perceived responsibilities. In African communities, gender roles are based on patriarchal
systems whereby male authority and power are dominant. Men/ boys and women/girls are
therefore socialized to conform to the prescribed gender status quo at both the family and
community. In this, boys and men must take leading roles as heads of households and bread
winners. Women, on the other hand, take a secondary position especially in the public domain.
Their main participation is in the domestic sphere where they take a leading role. This
patriarchal ideology bestows absolute power on men, thereby leaving women at their mercy.
African Journals of Social Sciences, Volume 1 Number 3 (2011); pp. 10- 20
Observably, the family in Kenya has been evolving and is thus affected by various
issues. The position of this paper is that, there has been a paradigm shift in gender power
relations in the family in Kenya, a case of Kiambu. This is based on a gender role reversal. This
has altered gender power relations within the family. By so doing, new gender identities have
been created. The consequence is a compromised position of men which renders them helpless
and hopeless. The situation has compromised traditional gender perceptions which previously
culminated in a distinctly male identity and self respect. Unable to live up to the unwritten
cultural norms and values of behaviour, most men in Kiambu have succumbed to feelings of
inferiority, uncertainty and frustrations, all with dire consequences on the family.
On the other hand, women have re-positioned themselves to concrete positions in the
family. This paper explores the dynamics of the changing power relations and its impact on the
family as it attempts to respond to these general questions:(i)
What factors have contributed to gender relations in the family in Kiambu?
(ii)
What has caused the paradigm shift in gender power relations in the family?
(iii)
Could Kiambu women be challenging traditionally constructed gender identities, which
have always been thought immutable, or are they responding to feminism?
(iv)
What impact does the immense gender shift have on women’s and men’s lives in
Kiambu?
(v)
And, in this context, what is the future of the family in Kiambu and in Kenya generally?
METHODS AND MATERIALS
The paper addresses the relationship between gender roles and power relations in the
African Family in Kiambu County1. Kiambu County was purposefully selected due to various
reasons. It is an area with very high crime rates with frequent reports of kidnapping, carjacking,
child defilement and rape. The recent development of women’s Merry-go-Rounds commonly
referred to as “Kamweretho2” groups were spearheaded by Kiambu women. These are believed
to have a bearing on the gender paradigm shift. Finally, Kiambu has in the recent past years
witnessed several demonstrations by women reacting against the excess partaking of illicit
brews by the male fraternity, which as the women claim, has rendered their husbands and sons
impotent, and hence worthless.
Data was obtained from two divisions in Kiambu, Limuru and Kikuyu. These were
purposely selected as most of the demonstrations against illicit brews were done here. A
descriptive baseline survey was conducted on two hundred respondents selected randomly or
purposefully from “illicit beer drinking dens, shopping centres, churches, and, Kamweretho
groups. Respondents were selected from a sampling frame of the indigenous residents of
Kiambu County. Respondents included both men and women, totaling 45 people.
Data was collected by the use of self administered questionnaires, interview guides, and
Focused Group Discussions. In addition, in-depth interviews were conducted particularly to key
opinion leaders such as Church elders, Sub-chiefs, County Administration, and Kamweretho
group leaders. In addition, secondary sources have been used.
1
Kiambu County here refers to the old administrative District which comprises of Kikuyu, Lari,
Githunguri, Kiambaa, and Limuru. Though, the administrative boundaries have continuously been
changing, the dynamics of the family have not been affected, hence new boundaries are not a factor in
this paper.
2
Kamweretho: A famous women’s merry-go-round group popular in Central Kenya whose main activity
is to re-visit one’s parents to appreciate them for raising one up.
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African Journals of Social Sciences, Volume 1 Number 3 (2011); pp. 10- 20
THEORETICAL CONCEPTS
Family scientists define power in terms of who is able to influence others to get their
way in the family, and who is able to block others from getting their way. In most cases, family
power is a property of the family system, which is instituted in the culture prevailing.
Cromwell and Olson (1975) classify family power into three areas: power bases, power
processes, and power outcomes. In looking at Power Bases, French and Raven (1959) took a
micro systemic view of family power. In this, they examined power strictly from inside the
family and suggested that there are six bases of family power. These are: - Legitimate power,
which is sanctioned by the belief system within the family; Informational power; based on the
person with more income. Referential power based on affection, mutual attraction, friendship,
and likeability within the family. Coercive power; which involves the use of physical or
psychological force in imposing one's way on others in the family. Expert power based on
education, training, or experience that is relevant to the issue at hand and finally, Reward power
which is the ability to influence others by providing physical and psychological benefits to
those who comply with one's wishes. Though these power bases are often unclear in actual
families for situations keep on changing, this paper recognizes the first two for analysis. We
note that people with more legitimate and informational power tend to be assertive and
empowered.
Taking a macro systemic view, Blood and Wolfe (1960), presents a resource theory of
family power. In this, they look for associations between power within and outside the family,
and argue that power is apportioned between husbands and wives based on the relative
resources that each contributes to the family. Blood and Wolfe specifically focus on the
resources of income, occupational prestige, and educational attainment. They demonstrate that
the greater the men's resources in these three areas, the greater the men's perceived power
within the family. They conclude that the resource theory of the family power is influential
because the idea suggests that men do not become heads of households by divine right or
natural biological processes, but because they have more and easier access to resources in
society. The idea suggests that opening up women's access to resources outside the family can
result in a more evenly balanced distribution of power within the family, a trend observed in
Kiambu.
Safilios-Rothschild (1967) also taking a macro systemic view point out that the bases
of family power are a reflection of culturally defined gender ideologies and gender-segregated
resources in the wider society in which a family is embedded. In practically all societies, this
means that males have more power in families because of patriarchal beliefs about male
authority and supremacy. In this, family power is linked with belief systems where allocation
and distribution of resources is unfairly done, since men get the most.
The above authors suggest that gender relations in the family are based on an intricate
relationship between power and resources. As a consequence, men’s continued superior status
in the family leads to power over women and control of valuable resources, which is supported
by laws and policies. This spells out and legitimizes man’s privileged and dominant status,
which is justified by tradition, morals, and belief systems. The gender stratification system rests
on the premise that women are economically dependent on men, and that their contribution to
family resources is minimal, hence less powerful. In this, power processes in families involve a
large number of complex cultural and family-related variables.
Power is a fundamental aspect of all human relationships, including family and marital
relations. It has been argued that it is important to define and measure power as a dynamic
process (Aida and Fablo 1991; Zvonkovic, and Schmiege, 1994, Komter 1989). Marital power
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African Journals of Social Sciences, Volume 1 Number 3 (2011); pp. 10- 20
can be conceptualized in two ways. First, it is noted in decision-making and associated conflict
that influences strategies. In this, lack of decision-making, conflict, or influence strategies as a
result of one partner anticipating and deferring to the position of the other. This can result from
the less powerful partner believing that they are unable to have influence or fearing negative
reprisal. Second, invisible power refers to an unconscious process in which social and
psychological systems of inequality result in one partner being unable to even conceive the
possibility of having input in decision making, engaging in conflict, or using power strategies.
Linking family power with resources, Blood and Wolfe's (1960) highlights the resource
theory. They observe that, the distribution of resources in the family is crucial to explaining
marital power. As such, power in marriage results from the contribution of resources to the
relationship. Consequently, the spouse who contributes the most will have greater influence in
decision making, hence greater power (Kulik 1999, Bolak 1995; Blaisure and Allen 1995).
Resources can also be thought of as alternatives to the relationship. Adding to Blood and
Wolfe's theory, Heer (1963) developed an exchange theory of marital power, arguing that the
individual who has the greatest access to alternative resources outside the marriage relationship
will have the most power. Looking at the theory from a cultural context, Rodman (1967) notes
that the distribution of marital power results not only from an unequal contribution of resources,
but also from the larger cultural context within which the marital relationship exists. Cultural
gender norms affect the impact that resource contribution has on the distribution of power.
The connection between culture and resources in the balance of marital power has been
examined and found that gender inequality is not merely found in the norms and ideologies but
characterizes the structure and practices of a society's political, legal, religious, educational, and
economic institutions. Discrimination and male domination of these institutions result in
women's lower access to resources. This condones and reinforces the patriarchal ideology
thereby contributing to the maintenance of gender inequality in the family.
Allen and Straus's (1980) observe that, when husbands lack economic or interpersonal
skill resources to maintain a dominant position in marriage, they may fall back on physical size
and strength-resources that, on average, husbands tend to have more of than their wives. This is
a condition referred to as the Ultimate Resource Theory. Consequently, the loss of men’s power
relative to women’s, may result to a greater likelihood for Gender Based Violence (GBV). This
is due to the fact that even as gender roles change, widening opportunities for women,
patriarchal attitudes have not changed much. However, the opportunities have their price, and
the family in Kiambu is taking the toll.
The shift in gender roles in the past 30 years has been enormous. It has also happened
so quickly that men and women are still trying to sort out what the new roles and rules mean to
them. Kiambu women, in patriarchal lenses are traditionally expected to be the keepers of the
house. However, in reality, they have become the breadwinners in many families. On the other
hand, although men are generally open to the successes enjoyed by the women, they find it hard
to celebrate a woman's triumph because they feel it diminishes their own, hence the paradigm
gender shift.
PATRIARCHY AND GENDER POWER RELATIONS IN GIKUYU FAMILIES
Patriarchy is a system of social structure and practice in which men dominate, oppress
and exploit women (Waby 1980). Patriarchal societies or cultures are initiated by men in
positions of power and they continue to maintain it as they enjoy its benefits (Clifford 2001). In
African indigenous families, men dominated virtually all aspects of life, politically,
economically and socially and made all decisions regarding everything including issues relating
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African Journals of Social Sciences, Volume 1 Number 3 (2011); pp. 10- 20
to women. Women were mere recipients. This was a culture institutionalized through a rigorous
socialization process in which, every member of the community knew their place and what was
expected of them. The indigenous perception was that this is the correct order, crucial to family
harmony.
Patriarchy maintains the status quo in the African family where the senior son as the
principle heir and executor controls the family wealth, a position bestowed on him almost by
divine right. Traditionally, the Kenyan male has had authority and power. Observably, in the
patriarchal families, customs and traditions have tended to favour men more than women.
Referring to Gikuyu family, (Kenyatta 1938) notes that men practically owned everything,
goats, land, livestock and any other valuable resources as far as Kikuyu economy was
concerned. Women had access and control of domestically used resources such as pots, pans,
utensils, baskets, milk, farm produce and an occasional goat kept indoors ( mburi ya gicegu),
which, though considered theirs, would instantly be slaughtered in the event any woman
bragged about owning it.
Using the Gikuyu economic system, women’s resources, unlike men’s, were never
considered family wealth, hence no economic power. In case women’s resources started
accruing benefits, for example, ample harvest, men would traverse gender barriers and control
such resources, by ordering for their disposal.
With the introduction of a monetary economy, formal education, and formal
employment, the colonial system altered Gikuyu economy in the family. This saw a shift in
resource value from goats/cows to dairy/poultry, barter to money, communal family land
trusteeship to individual title deeds, ploughs to pumps, traditional herding of goats to formal
employment. The colonial shift altered gender roles, reinforced existing gender disparities,
thereby heightening power differentiations within the Gikuyu family. On one hand, it lifted
men from traditional economies in production to tangible economic endeavours, while on the
other; it relegated women to the unpaid domestic work on production and human reproduction.
This scenario altered gender power relations and marginalized women further (Wamue 1999).
At the end of the colonial period, Gikuyu men practically had control of and access to
the family economy. In the early post-colonial years, it was common to have husbands either
withdrawing their wives from work upon marriage or controlling their income (O.Is Miriam
Wanjiku and Mary Nyacuma, 2010) .Men would also control resources accrued from cash crops
(tea/coffee) even while they worked at distance urban centres. By so doing, both men and
women internalized the fact that gender power in the family rested in the hands of men thereby
reinforcing existing traditional beliefs.
However, patriarchy in the African set up did not and does not necessarily subjugate
women. It is the adoption of the colonialist’s sense of family administration that presented an
undesirable intra-gender relationship modelling (Wamue1999). The colonization process
erected men as masters of the home, village, clan and nation. By so doing, women were
allowed insignificant roles to play. Nevertheless, irrespective of historical positioning, the
general principle governing gender power relations in the Gikuyu family has been that of
superiors and inferiors, man as ruler, woman as a subject. As such, the father is the head of the
household, final decision maker and breadwinner. Women are subordinate to men.
GENDER SHIFT OF ROLES IN THE KIKUYU FAMILY IN KIAMBU
Among the Kikuyu people, labor was organized along gender lines (Kenyatta Op.Cit.
Women did all chores in the domestic while men did the chores in the public domain. Gender
interchanging of roles was rather rare in the Kikuyu family. In most cases, it is considered
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African Journals of Social Sciences, Volume 1 Number 3 (2011); pp. 10- 20
taboo( O.Is Catherine Wangechi, Cecilia Waithira 2010). It is noted that, even when women
make major headways in formal employment, equal with men in the workplace, they still are
responsible for the traditional domestic roles of home maintenance and child rearing. Wamue
(ibid.) Note that chores that an individual performs is determined their power position. Since
men’s roles were quantified as work, the division of labour by gender simply meant that men
had more power and authority in the family than women.
Domestic work falls exclusively under women, girls and uncircumcised boys. The latter
abandons it immediately after circumcision (O.Is.Chris Mwaniki, David Waweru, 2010) . As a
rule, men only “help” out with housework if there is no other option ( O.Is Rose Wairimu, Lucy
Waiganjo, 2010). Housework exemption for men has exacerbated their power positions as
compared to women’s. Men have continually used it as a means of exercising supremacy and
assertion thereby making housework appear as a tool for gender oppression. This they do with
the belief that a “good wife” is the one who performs housework perfectly and tirelessly.
Observably, from the 1980s onwards, a growing shift in gender relations has been
witnessed. It is noted that from around this time, the country's economy started escalating
downwards. The economic growth rate was affected by periodic external factors especially
between 1970s and 1980s. This is characterized by long term deterioration in the country's
terms of trade initiated by the first oil shock of 1974-1975. This led to a 1975 adjustment
program which was followed by the second oil shock in 1979 which had further implications on
the economy. Economic growth in Kenya slowed from 1980s, as inflation rose. This culminated
in the reconstruction policy that led to massive cutbacks in layoffs both in “golden handshakes”
and retrenchment, all which affected the Kikuyu family in Kiambu in enormously. First, most
men lost jobs, since the proportion of male to female workers in the formal sector has always
been higher. Second, retrenched persons had to try and fit in the informal sector. Observably,
due to the socializing processes, while women smoothly moved to informal livelihoods, Kikuyu
men found it rather difficult to fit in the informal sector. Due to the gender classification of
roles in the family, which usually allow women to multi task in both domestic and public
domains, retrenched women in Kiambu found it easier than men to be integrated in the informal
sector.
Most women, though working formally, would still have to carry on their domestic
duties, either before work, in between work or after work. Upon retrenchment, women simply
went back to the villages, started numerous socio-economic activities either as individuals or in
groups specifically in farming and or trade. The more adventurous ones ventured into import or
export of commodities such as tie and die materials, baskets (ciondos) and new and second
hand clothes (mitumba). Finances would be sourced through formation of women “Merry-GoRounds, mainly referred to as (Chamas)”; which enabled them to secure loans from financing
agencies and revolving funds generated by members. Besides expanding their businesses, these
chamas would be used to accumulate funds to facilitate their children to acquire travel visas and
fees to study abroad. 60% of the women respondents had either one or two children in foreign
countries, while 20% had all of their children abroad. Over 80% claimed to have facilitated
their children without the help of their spouses.
The women also engaged in buying land and constructing either their own homes or
real estate’s for rent. About 70% of our respondents have at least one or two houses for rent
while 30% have blocks of flats mostly in the city suburbs. These Income Generating Activities
doubled as social organizations, widening women’s economic participation. Besides raising
their economic status, they also increased their visibility both at the family and the community,
a state that elevated their social status. The 1980-1990s economic depression served as a
springboard for Kiambu women’s emancipation and empowerment.
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African Journals of Social Sciences, Volume 1 Number 3 (2011); pp. 10- 20
On the contrary, Kiambu men returned to the villages and sulk up at their homes, alone,
disoriented and confused. Due to the gender classification of roles, men have traditionally been
socialized to fit in the outside domain. Upon taking formal employment, they completely
alienate themselves from household management and informal work. On retrenchment, they
found it almost impossible to fit in the informal sector. In due course, most of the men were
broke thereby losing their traditional position as family breadwinners, consequently challenging
their traditionally perceived patriarchal image in the Kikuyu family. Gradually, the male ego
was deeply compromised. These men found themselves in a hopeless and helpless cage that
eroded their self esteem. As a result, most of them either resulted to illicit brews or turned to
Gender Based Violence.
Men with such mentality are struggling to reinvent themselves in a world where women
have turned the tables round. Such men are facing a dilemma. Our survey presented a grim
picture especially on the male generation between ages 20-45, who spend all their time either in
illicit drinking dens. Observably, these brews have severe drawbacks on men in Kiambu.
Considering their age bracket, the scenario is horrifying. Since the brews affect their
reproductive system, wives often find themselves with impotent husbands, hence marital
frustrations. Majorities of the girls from this area tend to prefer men from outside the Kikuyu
community, or older men, thus creating a generation gap.
Our survey also found that fathers have resulted to siring children for their “impotent”
sons. Despite this being the highest form of incest, they resort to it since they want their family
lineages to continue. Ng’ang’a Ruo (O.I, 2010) cited several cases where such relationships
have thrived. Speaking on condition of anonymity, the few men who claimed to “sire children
on behalf of the impotent men,” bragged that “theirs is a mission to save a generation”.
In addition to these vices, our survey also found traces of cross generational
relationships in the study area. In this, pre-marital and extra-marital sexual relationships are
gaining acceptance. Consequently, quite a number of women in Kiambu attested to engaging in
cross generational relationships, some as old as 45 having affairs within 18 year olds. Such
women claimed that their husbands are either “too dirty, poor or impotent”; hence they
(women) cannot allow them “conjugal rights”. Also speaking on conditions of anonymity, these
women, claimed that conjugal rights as the name suggests are “rights” given to those who
deserve them; and in this case, their husbands are not anywhere near this category.
Besides alcoholism, others result to gambling and hard drugs. These men steal
household goods and exchange them for both vices. Once discovered, the women beat them
thoroughly, sometimes, warranting the men to “run away” from home. Kikuyu customs dictate
that men never “run away” from home. It is vice versa.
In about 70% of the homes we surveyed, male adults are in such compromised gender
power positions where family decisions and home management are entirely at the hands of
women. These men portray a complete lack of authority and power in the family front, hence
the common slogan in Kiambu “gukorogerwo” (literally meaning ‘to be cemented on). This
derogatory term refers to a situation where a man’s position in the family has been absolutely
comprised. Such men appear socially weak, hopeless, and ‘impotent” on critical decisions
affecting their families. Due to their lack of control, they are denied basic things like food,
shelter and sex. Consequently, they are in perpetual hunger, dirt, drunk, and in tatters. In most
cases, they are seen idling in the shopping centers commonly referred to as “mung’etho” (to
stare) all day, and beg for small handouts from visitors especially those from the city. The
situations they find themselves in quite often lead to premature deaths (David Kamau O.I,
2010).
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Naturally, some men fight back, hence situations of GBV are rampant. Most of the
domestic fights, as the women claim, are however caused by man’s irresponsibility, idleness
and consequent demands for food. Men, on the other hand, claim that they result to violence
because they are desperate and stressed. From our observation, both parties are indeed so
stressed, ever in a vicious blame game cycle, an act that marginalizes the family further. The
effect of the above situation has had far reaching consequences on the family in Kiambu. From
our observations, the social cohesion that has previously bound the family unit together has
been loosened by this paradigm shift in gender power relations. Owing to lack of proper role
models, most young adult males have resulted in crime such as carjacking, kidnapping,
outlawed gangs, and rape. Those not in serious crimes or outlawed gangs, portray a
dependency syndrome that compromises their ability to mature into adulthood and take up
responsibility e.g. marry and establish their own homes as is the norm among the Kikuyu
people.
As women and girls in Kiambu strife to change their traditional status at family level
thereby dislodging men from their previously “divinely” perceived positions, a complex shift in
power relations occurs. Considering that, the above period coincided with women’s awakening
that climaxed in the UN conference in Nairobi in 1985 and a decade later in Beijing 1995, as
well as the girl-child campaign, gender tables have indeed been turned in Kiambu.
DISCUSSIONS
Gender power relations in Kiambu families have drastically altered power bases in the
family. It is quite clear that attitudes toward gender roles have been gradually changing albeit
with resistance from the male fraternity. This has challenged traditional gender power and role
ideology thereby creating a less equitable gender division of labour and access and control of
resources shifting towards the women.
Consequently, families have become centres of conflicts and tensions with each gender
trying to assert itself. Observable characteristics are male bashing, drug abuse, alcoholism,
rebellious youth and general crimes. Women in Kiambu want men to perform “female
perceived roles”, as long as they (men) are not in any gainful employment, and most of them
are not. Men, on the contrary resent this; hence the gender conflicts. The continued lack of
recognition of housework as work leaves the performers of whichever gender with no sense of
value. As such, they become frustrated and continue to resent it. To demonstrate their assertion,
empowered women want men to perform housework in return for their basic needs like food,
clothes, conjugal rights or any other ‘small privileges’. Majorities of the women who subject
their husbands to this situation ironically belong to the numerous social economic groups that
have flourished in the area. Some of these are Kamweretho, Hama, and Ngumbato, to mention
just a few 95% of our female respondents belong to at least one of these groups. Although all
women merry-go –rounds portray the same characteristics, Kamweretho has hit Kiambu County
by a storm.
Kamweretho is a women’s group whose basic organization is the popular women’s
merry-go-round; an idea which has been central in the empowerment of women. Each member
of the group contributes a certain amount of money each month which is invested or used as a
lump sum by one member at a time. Many women have benefited greatly by these merry-gorounds (O.Is Serah Nduta, Jane Muthoni, Mary Mwara, Serah Wairimu, Mary Muumbi,
Jennifer Njeri, Rose Waithera, 2010).
Basically, it is exclusively a female affair with males always taking a secondary role, if
any. Our survey found out that, Kamweretho was started by the urban, not so educated ladies
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African Journals of Social Sciences, Volume 1 Number 3 (2011); pp. 10- 20
who import both second and new clothes for sale (O.I Serah Teresia Wambui, Lucy Njeri,
Kezziah Nyambura, Jane Njeri, 2010). Clad mainly in uniform and a galore of fanfare, the
Kamweretho groups are mainly around forty members. The ceremonies involve the ritualistic
visit to their parents’ home to seek forgiveness for wrongs ever committed, appreciate parents
them for raising them up, and hence seek blessings and favors, particularly from their mothers.
This exercise is believed to “bail them” from any known and unknown curses, that could be
prohibiting their socio-economic progress. Their activities involve buying clothes to their
mothers and occasionally, fathers, and literally dressing them during the function. In return, the
parents symbolically spit on their chests and invoke blessings to their children. Beside clothes,
they give a monitory “token” of appreciation that ranges from US $ 250- 2500 a figure that
depends on size of membership and economic power. Though some members insist that this
money is not symbolic, others boldly claim that indeed, it is dowry (O.I Lucy Waiganjo, Esther
Njeri, Eunice Wairimu, Frasier Wanjiru, Florence Nyathira,Eunice Wambui, Florence Wanjiru,
Gladys Gathoni 2010).
Customarily, no parent would receive a dowry for a daughter before he pays for her
mother. Notably, under Kikuyu customs, if a man receives his daughter’s bride price before he
pays any for her mother, he would have to take such money to his father-in-law, so that it can
‘open” for his own daughter’s further dowry payment. Besides, one cannot ask for more dowry
for a daughter than he paid for her mother. In case he dishonours that, he brings wrath to his
daughter, who may have misfortunes in her new marital home. So Kamweretho women who
advocate for dowry payment do so by claiming that it is for the benefit of the entire family.
Initially, Kamweretho dowry ritual was exclusively a reserve for the unmarried single
mothers. Kikuyu customs demand that unmarried mothers give a ‘token’ of appreciation to their
fathers, if alive, or brothers as dowry. By so doing, unmarried women would ‘bail themselves
out’ from a feeling of incompleteness as no dowry has ever been paid for them. In this, the
single mother “marries” herself so that she can be “cleared” to receive her daughter’s dowry.
However, married women have joined the dowry-payment orgy. By so doing, they have defied
customs, hence the resentment of Kamweretho by most men, and the Church.
A number of men have banned their wives from participating in Kamweretho activities.
This is attributed to what O.Is Eliud Kihuha, John Mwaniki , Paul Mwani and David
Kamunge refer to uremi wao ( tendency to defy orders). However, majorities of the women
have ignored the ban, claiming that they are no longer under any male authority. The women
claimed that they need no permission from men, as these do not provide any financial resources
(O.Is. Rose Wambui, Esther Kabura, Virginia Nyokabi, Dorcas Wambui 2010). Some of the
husbands are aware of their wives’ participation in these groups but are helpless about it since
they have no control over them (O.Is David Kamau, Lawrence Kariuki, Simon Muthumbi,
Albert Kimathi, 2010). From the women’s views, the socio-economic gains derived from
participating in these groups are enormous. As such, most women opt to participate in them
defying any bans from spouses ( O.I Hannah Wakori).
Critics of Kamweretho point out that suspicion starts because the women usually buy
presents for their mothers and not fathers. Besides, members often return home late after
engaging in drinking and sexual immorality. This allegation is echoed in some Kikuyu pop
music by Ephraim Maina. In addition to allegations of drinking sprees during Kamweretho
outings and using the same outings as avenues for extra-marital affairs, critics claim the women
use the groups to pay the bride price for themselves, which is totally against Kikuyu customs.
All these activities contradict marital expectations. To most men, Kamweretho has really
destroyed many homes.
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African Journals of Social Sciences, Volume 1 Number 3 (2011); pp. 10- 20
However, women note that in the dowry payment, “it is the men who misunderstand us,
since they (men) are jealous” ( O.Is. Damaris Muniu, Edith Njoroge, Purity Njambi. To the
latter, indeed the aim is to pay a dowry and open up avenues for their so called husbands to
receive their daughters’ dowry, since these “foolish” men are not aware that they cannot marry
off their daughters if they have not married their wives traditionally. It is taboo and a curse!
Besides, these men are impotent (O.I Mary Wanjiru, 2010), hence having extramarital sex is a
norm. In addition, they cannot meet any economic family obligation. As such, they have no
moral authority to question us. The women claim to socialize within the groups to release the
marital stress caused by their husbands’ many woes.
Contrary to the negative perception of Kamweretho, these groups fill a once existing
socio-economic vacuum to women’s emancipation and empowerment in Kiambu. However,
some activities, in particular, “visiting parents, paying dowry and physical investment”,
contradict traditionally perceived gender roles. In particular, dowry payment and physical
investment are exclusive male issues. Traversing gender lines by doing “manly duties”
compromise the male ego, hence the discernment of Kamweretho by men from all spheres.
Indeed, it demonstrates the very essence of the paradigm gender shift in the family.
CONCLUSION
From the foregoing analysis, it is obvious that traditional gender roles in the family in
Kiambu have indeed changed. Role reserved only for men have to be performed by women and
vice versa. In addition, most men, as already seen, lost the bread winning status. This has
adversely affected their status quo seriously challenging the male ego. It has resulted in women
taking over power and authoritative positions in the family. The scenario has also led a
perceived female defiance mainly from wives whose previous loyalty to husbands was directly
related to the husband’s earning status. With its loss, gender power relations in the family
changed. Men have either to succumb to traditional reserved roles for women in order to fit in,
or get lost in the process. Being so dependent on traditional gender perceptions that define male
identity, men find themselves at a loss when confronted with new gender identities.
On the contrary, women’s increasing participation in the male domain has had a major
social change particularly in terms of gender power relations in the family. This autonomy has
given women and girls a mileage ahead of men and boys. In the absence of male economic
power, the women are at a powerful advantage that leads to high self esteem. The traditional
“father head” that men under study religiously enjoyed, is gone. Children have grown up
seeing their mothers in control of the economic power of the family, thereby calling the shots.
In the process, the father has been pushed to the periphery of a toothless dog in the family
scene. Indeed, gender tables in Kiambu, have been turned. It is evident that women have taken
over gender power relations in the family, which have linked them to the public domain, outside
domestic circles. As a consequence, the family in Kiambu has been experiencing strained
gender relations for the last 20years.
In lieu of the above, it is obvious that, as we continue advocating for gender equality, in
particular women’s empowerment, we must refocus our attention on gender equity that does not
compromise the family. Balanced gender relations are crucial in redeeming the family in
Kiambu. Meaningful gender relations need to be re-defined within the family context, where
both men and women find space for the assertion. This is achieved without either gender trying
to undermine or outdo each other. By so doing new gender perceptions need be re-defined,
which incorporate activities that will integrate both genders. The aim is to create positive
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African Journals of Social Sciences, Volume 1 Number 3 (2011); pp. 10- 20
models that will balance gender power relations and maintain the family, a crucial institution in
the society.
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