I survived the Columbine High School shooting
A student s h a r e s h e r terrifying story
B y Melissa Miller
F r o m Scope
M e l i s s a Miller, 15, hid b e h i n d a truck w h i l e s e n i o r s Eric Harris a n d D y l a n Klebold s p r a y e d bullets
a n d t h r e w pipe b o m b s i n t o t h e p a r k i n g lot o f C o l u m b i n e H i g h S c h o o l . O n t h a t tragic a f t e r n o o n last
April, Eric, 18, a n d D y l a n , 17, killed 1 2s t u d e n t s a n d a teacher, w o u n d e d 2 3students, a n d t h e n
killed t h e m s e l v e s . Eric h a s said that i n s e v e n t h a n d e i g h t h g r a d e , kids called m e n a m e s , p u s h e d
m e against the lockers, a n d s n a p p e d pennies a tm y h e a d . I w a s miserable and lonely. E v e r y night,
I cried a n d b e g g e d m y m o m t o let m e g o to a n o t h e r s c h o o l .
I u n d e r s t a n d w h a t it's like t o b e p i c k e d o n . B u t I c a n ' t u n d e r s t a n d w h y a n y o n e w o u l d t u r n t o g u n s .
G u n s are not the a n s w e r . I learned that o n April 2 0 , 1999. T h a t d a y w a s definitely the w o r s t day o f
m y life.
Not a Prank
I w a s i n t h e C o l u m b i n e p a r k i n g lot w h e n I , h e a r d t h e first e x p l o s i o n . I t h o u g h t it h a d t o b e a
firecracker—some kind of senior prank. T h e n , I looked u pand s a w the backs of t w o guys in black
t r e n c h c o a t s . T h e y w e r e s t a n d i n g a t t h e t o p o f t h e h i l l n e a r t h e r e a r e n t r a n c e t o t h e s c h o o l . It w a s
E r i c H a r r i s a n d D y l a n K l e b o l d . I d i d n ' t k n o w t h e i r n a m e s t h e n , b u t l'd s e e n t h e m a r o u n d . M y f r i e n d s
a n d I w o u l d m o v e o u t o f t h e i r w a y in t h e halls. T h e y s c a r e d u s .
A s E r i c a n d D y l a n t u r n e d a r o u n d , I s a w that t h e y h a d g u n s . I still t h o u g h t it w a s a p r a n k . I figured
t h e rifles h a d to b e paintball g u n s . Eric a n d D y l a n h a d n o e x p r e s s i o n s o n their f a c e s . T h e y s h o w e d
no emotion—not anger, not hatred.
T h e n , t h e y o p e n e d fire. B u l l e t s s t r u c k s t u d e n t s o n t h e s i d e w a l k , i n t h e p a r k i n g lot, a n d o n t h e hill.
M y f r i e n d A n n e M a r i e w a s s t a n d i n g o n t h e s i d e w a l k r i g h t b e l o w t h e m . It l o o k e d l i k e t h e y s h o t h e r i n
t h e s t o m a c h . S h e d o u b l e d o v e r a n d t h e n fell o n h e r b a c k . H e r k n e e s flipped t o t h e s i d e . S h e didn't
get up. S h e just s t a y e d c r u m p l e d o n the ground. T h a t w a s w h a t m a d e m e realize - o h , m y G o d ! it w a s n o j o k e . It w a s n ' t r e d p a i n t o n t h e g r o u n d . It w a s b l o o d . D y l a n a n d E r i c w e r e t r y i n g t o g e t
back a t students w h o h a d m o c k e d and bullied t h e m during their four y e a r s a t t h e Littleton,
C o l o r a d o , h i g h s c h o o l . B e l o w , M e l i s s a — w h o k n o w s h o w it f e e l s t o b e p i c k e d o n — s h a r e s h e r i d e a s
for h o w students w h o feel alienated can turn things a r o u n d w i t h o u t violence. S h e also tells t h e
dramatic story of her e s c a p e f r o m the shooting.
I w a s terrified. I quickly d u c k e d b e h i n d a w h i t e truck. I did not d a r e l o o k up. C r o u c h e d b e h i n d a tire,
I w a s scared to m o v e a n inch.
T h e n , a silver cylinder landed about five feet f r o m m e . I could smell the burning and s e e s m o k e
c o m i n g o u t o f b o t h e n d s , s o I c o v e r e d m y h e a d w i t h m y hånds. I d i d n ' t k n o w it t h e n , b u t i t w a s a
pipe bomb. In s e c o n d s , t h e b o m b exploded and shrapnel rained d o w n o n the p a v e m e n t around
m e . S o m e h o w I didn't g e t hit w i t h a n y s h r a p n e l . J u s t a f e w s e c o n d s later, t h e r e w a s a n o t h e r pipe
b o m b , a n d it c a m e e v e n d o s e r t o m e . A g a i n , b y s o m e m i r a c l e , I w a s n ' t hit a t a l l .
E r i c a n d D y l a n o p e n e d f i r e a g a i n . It d i d n ' t s o u n d t h e w a y g u n f i r e s o u n d s i n t h e m o v i e s . E a c h s h o t
w a s like a dart hitting a dartboard. N o t h i n g s o u n d e d t h e w a y you'd expect. N o o n e w a s s c r e a m i n g
o r y e l l i n g a t t h e m t o s t o p . It w a s a c t u a l l y r e a l l y q u i e t .
A b o y w h o ' d b e e n s h o t i n t h e l e g (I d o n ' t k n o w h i s n a m e ) g o t u p a n d r a n a w a y . B l o o d s p u r t e d
t h r o u g h his fingers as he held onto his w o u n d . B e f o r e he reached safety, he looked back over his
s h o u l d e r at t h e g u n m e n . H i s e y e s w e r e s o large, a n d filled w i t h p u r e t e r r o r a n d p a i n .
T h e l o o k o n h i s f a c e w i l l h a u n t m e f o r t h e r e s t o f m y life. I j u s t h o p e it's a l o o k t h a t n o o n e h a s t o
s e e or give ever again.
Eric and D y l a n had stopped shooting. T h e y ' d g o n e inside. I started to run a w a y . T h e n , I hesitated.
S h o u l d I t r y t o h e l p A n n e M a r i e ? S h e w a s l y i n g t h e r e , still n o t m o v i n g . I d e c i d e d t h a t t h e b e s t t h i n g
w o u l d be to get real help.
A s the gunshots rang out inside t h e school, I r a n across the soccer field. A t the s a m e time, this
unbelievable s t r e a m of people, of panic, c a m e out of the cafeteria. That's w h e n the screaming
s t a r t e d . E v e r y o n e w a s s c r e a m i n g . T o g e t o f f o f s c h o o l g r o u n d s , I h a d t o m a k e it o v e r a t a l l c h a i n
l i n k f e n c e . S o m e h o w — d o n ' t a s k m e h o w — I j u s t s a i l e d o v e r it. I w a s l i k e X e n a . T h e b e s t w a y I c a n
d e s c r i b e it i s t h a t I w a s o n a m i s s i o n . I w a s r u n n i n g s o f a s t t h a t I c o u l d b a r e l y b r e a t h e . I t h o u g h t m y
heart w a s going to pop.
Finally, I s a w a h o u s e with a n o p e n garage. I r a n in. T h e r e w a s a p h o n e , s o I cailed 9 1 1 . T h e
h o u s e b e l o n g e d to a n elderly c o u p l e w h o let m e in a n d h e l p e d m e contact m y p a r e n t s .
A s I w a i t e d to b e p i c k e d up, I w a t c h e d t h e n e w s . I.cried a n d cried a s a m b u l a n c e s t o o k m y friends,
i n c l u d i n g A n n e M a r i e , a w a y . ( F o r d a y s , I d i d n ' t k n o w if A n n e M a r i e w a s a l i v e o r d e a d . ) O n T V , I
c o u l d s e e m y b o o k b a g l y i n g i n t h e p a r k i n g l o t w h e r e l'd l e f t it.
M e m o r i a l i t e m s for C o l u m b i n e : w r e a t h w i t h a n g e l B e a n i e Babies, a n d b o o k s m a d e by a first grade
c l a s s . I d i d n ' t g e t m y b o o k b a g b a c k u n t i l J u n e . W h e n I d i d , it b r o u g h t b a c k a l l o f m y f e a r . M y b a g
h a d b e e n t r a m p l e d o n a s s t u d e n t s r a n f o r t h e i r lives. M y h a i r b r u s h w a s b r o k e n , a n d all o f m y b o o k s
were damaged.
A Place to Belong
E r i c a n d D y l a n r u i n e d s o m a n y lives. T h e y w e r e o u t c a s t s , b u t v i o l e n c e is n e v e r a s o l u t i o n . In j u n i o r
high, I w a s tortured. I didn't w e a r t h e right clothes, a n d I didn't h a v e t h e right hair. I h a d z e r o
friends. B u t w h e n I started at C o l u m b i n e , I c h a n g e d m y situation. I joined t h e m a r c h i n g b a n d a n d
m a d e t o n s o f f r i e n d s . N o w t h e p e o p l e t h a t wére s o m e a n t o m e i n j u n i o r h i g h a r e s i g n i n g m y
y e a r b o o k a n d giving m e h u g s in t h e hall.
I f o u n d a p l a c e t o b e l o n g . If y o u ' r e a n o u t c a s t , y o u d o n ' t h a v e t o r e s o r t t o v i o l e n c e . J o i n a c l u b .
C o l u m b i n e offers c l u b s like t h e o u t d o o r s club, t h e Bible club, the c h e s s club. T h e r e a r e t o n s of
a c t i v i t i e s t h a t y o u d o n ' t h a v e t o b e a n a t h l e t e o r t h e s m a r t e s t p e r s o n in t h e w o r l d t o p a r t i c i p a t e i n .
High school doesn't h a v e to be s o terrible.
If E r i c a n d D y l a n h a d t r i e d t o t u r n t h e i r l i v e s a r o u n d , m a y b e 1 2 o f m y p e e r s w o u l d n ' t b e d e a d ,
m a y b e A n n e Marie wouldn't be learning to w a l k again.
http.vycoiitent.scholastic.com/browse/article.isp'^d^SSl
W O R K I N G W I T H I survived t h e C o l u m b i n e High School shooting
W h a t did Eric repeat o v e r and o v e r again t h r o u g h s e v e n t h and eighth
g r a d e t o his m u m and w h y ?
W h a t did Melissa t h i n k w h e n s h e heard t h e first explosion?
W h i c h impression had Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold given Melissa and
her friends?
H o w does she describe t h e i r facial expression?
W h e n did she realize t h a t it w a s n ' t a prank?
W h a t did she do t o p r o t e c t herself?
W h a t m a d e t h e w h o l e s i t u a t i o n so s u r r e a l i s t i c ?
8)
W h i c h image w i l l haunt her f o r t h e rest of her life?
9)
H o w did she m a n a g e t o get a w a y ?
1 0 ) H o w d i d i t a f f e e t h e r t o g e t h e r b o o k b a g back?
11) Melissa knows w h a t i t ' s like t o be friendless and being bullied in
school. H o w can you change a situation like t h a t , according t o
Melissa?
12) W i l l Melissa's solution always w o r k , do you think?
H I G H
S C H O O L
H O R R O R
W h a t lessons c a n b e learned f r o m A m e r i c a n school violence?
by Claudia Wolosin
Last April, t w o t e e n a g e boys
walked into their Colorado
scbool armed with guns and
b o m b s . T h e y killed o n e t e a cher and 1 2 fellow students
a n d t h e n killed t h e m s e l v e s . It
w a s not the first time American high school students had
killed o n e a n o t h e r . N o r w a s i t
t h e l a s t . It w a s f o l l o w e d by
c o p y c a t c r i m e s all o v e r t h e
U.S., though none of the
others had as m a n y victims.
Looking for reasons
N a t u r a l l y , p a r e n t s , s c h o o l offic i a l s , n e w s a n n o u n c e r s , politicians, a n d e v e n o t h e r s t u d e n t s ,
a r e t r y i n g t o e x p l a i n t h e inexplicable. W h a t m a k e s t e e n s
attack their ciassmates at
school? T h e n e w s media
reported that t h e t w o Colora-
do boys belonged t o a group
cailed " T h e T r e n c h c o a t
Mafia", whose m e m b e r s
w o r e b l a c k r a i n c o a t s , liked t o
play video g a m e s like D o o m ,
and listened t o "Goth" music
like M a r i l y n M a n s o n .
Did t h e m u s i c m a k e t h e m do
i t ? It t u r n e d o u t t h a t " T h e
Trenchcoat Mafia" was the
n a m e given t o a g r o u p o f
" n e r d s " by t h e s c h o o l s
" j o c k s " . T h e n e r d s cailed
themselves "The Anachron i s t s " a n d t o o k p r i d e in b e i n g
d i f f e r e n t f r o m t h e p o p u l a r AllA m e r i c a n j o c k s , w h o bullied
t h e m a l m o s t e v e r y day. D i d
the desire for revenge make
t h e m do it? T h e s e particular
m u r d e r e r s s p e n t a g r e a t deal
of u n s u p e r v i s e d t i m e o n t h e i r
c o m p u t e r s and got t h e recipe
f o r their b o m b s o n t h e Internet. Did t h e N e t m a k e t h e m
do it? Gun control advocates
point out t h e obvious: Once
again confused and angry
adolescents had easy access
t o guns. Did t h e g u n s m a k e
t h e m do it? T h e answer, it
s e e m s t o m e , is all o f t h e
above, and m o r e . A m e r i c a n
t e e n s g r o w u p in v i o l e n c e .
Culture of violence
P e r p e t r a t o r s of e x t r e m e violence don't just appear o u t of
t h i n air. T h e y a r e t h e p r o d u c t s
o f a s o c i e t y t h a t is a l r e a d y
p r o n e t o violence a n d t h a t
h o l d s t h i s v i o l e n c e in g r e a t
e s t e e m , j u d g i n g by t h e n a t u r e
of its television p r o g r a m s
[including t h e n e w s ] , f i l m s ,
a n d s o n g lyrics. A s s u c h , t h e
79
w i d e s p r e a d publicity f o r violence t r a n s f o r r n s it into
s o m e t h i n g t h a t is n o t only .
t a k e n f o r granted but also
viewed a s a means t o a n .
end. Problem-salving and
physical v i o l e n c e b e c o m e c o n fused.
Peer Pressure
Of c o u r s e , s c h o o l s h o o t i n g s
are n o t simply t h e result of
.too m a n y B r u c e W i l l i s f i l m s .
. One of t h e major causes of
s h o o t i n g s a n d stabbings in high
schools, a c c o r d i n g t o t h e r e searchers, is peer pressure.
T h e s o r t of peer pressure
t h a t causes o n e group t o
e x c l u d e a n individual o r a n o t her group. Everyohe's w o r s t
n i g h t m a r e i s t o fall o f f t h e
socially acceptable branch
a n d e n d u p labeSed a s a n e r d ,
a geek, w i m p , o r weirdo.
Social o u t e a s t s such a s t h e s e
b e a r t h e b u r d e n o f b e i n g ridic u l e d a n d bullied. L i t t l e by little t h e y e n d u p believing t h a t
they just aren't good enough.
This c r e a t e s a sense of insecurity a n d frustration, leading
80
t h e m t o o n e day retaliate
w i t h violence a n d rage, t h e r e by m a k i n g t h e i r m a r k o n t h e
sociéty t h a t r e j e c t e d t h e m .
Ahsentee parents
Then there are the parents
w h o didn't s e e , o r did n o t w a n t
to see, t h e warning signs of
their children's marginality.
T h e s e parents r e m a i n e d inattentive a t a crucial t i m e , t o o
busy with their careers a n d
t h e i r o w n social s t a t u s . '
American teenagers increasingly live i n t h e i r o w n w o r l d s ,
i g n o r e d by a d u l t s o c i e t y
except a s target markets.
T V p r o g r a m s , films, video
games, music fashion a n d
advertising a r e a i m e d specifically a t y o u n g p e o p l e , w h o
s p e n d m o s t o f t h e i r t i m e in
school, o n t h e s t r e e t s , in t h e
s h o p p i n g m a i l s , i n front o f a
s c r e e n , a n y w h e r e b u t in t h e
c o m p a n y o f c a r i n g a d u l t s . if
p a r e n t s d o n o t o f f e r love a n d
guidance, a n d peers do n o t
offer respect, these "iosers"
may resort t o hate crime.
B u t p e r h a p s vi/e s h o u l d s p e a k
of crimes of solitude, desperation, and ignorance. T h e
C o l o r a d o " j o c k s " d i d n ' t believe
they w e r e being violent w h e n
t h e y bullied t h e " n e r d s " . A n d
t h e n e r d s c a m e t o believe
that respect and power c o m e
only f r o m violence. T h a t s o r t
o f i g n o r a n c e i s deadly.
Speakeasy, October, 1999.
Group work
Write dbwn all the
reasons g i v e n w h y
teenagers k i l l
teenagers.
Look a t a l l t h e reasons,
w h e r e d o y o u agree
a n d disagree?
W h a t s h o u l d be d o n e
to improve the situation?
YOU M U S T BE THE CHANGE Y O U W A N T TO SEE
(Mahatma
Gandhi)
1. W h y do k i d s s h o o t k i d s ?
2. T h e r e i s n o excuse f o r
keeping a gun i n your
home.
3. Guns are OK i f k e p t i n a
s a f e place.
Look a t the following
questions and statements.
C o m m e n t o n t h e ones y o u
f i n d most interesting.
E i t h e r i n groups o r as a
class d i s c u s s i o n .
10. ' D o p a r e n t s u s u a l l y see t h e
w a r n i n g signs - a n d w h a t
are t h e y ?
5. D o w e n e e d a g u n t o
p r o t e c t ourselves?
1 1 . Can v i d e o games h e l p f u e l
v i o l e n t fantasies?
6. I s i t y o u r o w n p r o b l e m i f
y o u e n d u p as a n e r d , a
geek, a w i m p , o r a weirdo?
12. S h o u l d a s t u d e n t w h o
brings a g u n t o school be
expelled?
7. Åre t e e n a g e r s o f t e n
ignored by adults?
13. S h o u l d access t o g u n s b e
more difflcult?
22. Is t h e A m e r i c a n c u l t u r e a
violent culture?
15. S h o u l d g u n dealers b e
punished?
23. T h e N R A ( T h e N a t i o n a l
Rifle Association) t h i n k s
y o u n g kids should l e a m
h o w t o use g u n s . W h a t d o
you think?
17. G u n m a k i n g s h o u l d b e a
crime.
18. K i d s a r e n ' t b o m v i o l e n t ,
it's learned behavior.
19. I s s h o o t i n g a r e s u l t o f l o w
self-esteem?
20. W h y do s m a r t , p r i v i l e g e d
k i d s s o m e t i m e s e n d u p as
violent gang members?
2 1 . Former President Clinton
says, " C u l t u r e o f v a l u e s
n o t culture of violence".
W h a t does h e m e a n ?
9. A r e p a r e n t s t o b l a m e ,
w h e n kids become
criminals?
4. Guns d o n ' t k i l l people.
People k i l l people.
14. I f g u n s c a n n o t b e b a n n e d ,
w h y not j u s t ban bullets?
16. S h o u l d y o u h a v e a l i c e n s e
to own a gun?
8. W h a t h a p p e n s i f p a r e n t s
. don't o f f e r love and
guidance?
24. H o w can schools, f a m i l i e s
and communities work
t o g e t h e r t o m a k e sure t h a t
every child is safe i n every
school?
25. Years ago a f i g h t was
settled w i t h a fist or a
f i g h t outside. N o w it's b y
weapons. W h y this
change?
26. S a f e corridors t o schools,
a r e t h e y a g o o d idea?
27. G o o d n e i g h b o r s l o o k a f t e r
t h e neighbors' kids!
28. W h a t are t h e p o s i t i v e
alternatives to life i n the
street?
29. A r e y o u t h c u r f e w s a
solution to y o u t h
violence?
30. B o r e d o m can l e a d t o risky
a n d dangerous activities.