REWIRE WEEK 2
MODULE 3: Understanding the Reactive Cycle
--------Have you been applying the Exposure and Prevention model from
Module 2 to eliminate some of the triggers that lead to the impulsive
technology behaviors you’re trying to control? If you haven’t selected at
least one prevention strategy from last week to try, pick one to test out
before moving on to today’s lesson. To access Module 2, click here.
WHAT LIES BENEATH
In Week 1, we worked on stopping the impulses that lead you to compulsively check our
inbox or social profiles. We deconstructed the psychology of intermittent rewards, the
reinforcement process that keeps our eyes glued to screens and our hands tethered to
devices. We then examined the triggers causing you to mindlessly (and habitually) engage
with technology. At this point you should have started to create barriers that will help
prevent you from uncontrollably checking your devices, stopping the cycle of digital
addiction before it can get started.
MELODYWILDING.COM
Now, in Week 2, we’re going to focus on preventing the second part in the cycle of
technology addiction: Reacting and loss of control. Now that you have better control over
when you engage with technology (because of the barriers from Week 1), it’s time to make
sure that you don’t lose control during the times when you do use your devices.
We’re going to examine the automatic mental-emotional responses happening beneath the
surface when we use technology that cause us to lose our self-control and launch into a
frenzy of reactive behavior. Today, in Module 3, you’ll discover a structured process that
you can use to stop these impulses, like frantically responding to emails or endlessly
watching videos, and instead help you channel your energy in a healthier, more productive
way.
THE REACTIVE CYCLE
At the end of the day, technology is merely a means to an end. Your laptop, tablet, and
phone are just tools that can be manipulated to achieve a certain goal, like looking up
directions or typing up a document, or to satisfy a particular need, like entertainment or
education. Ultimately our devices are just hunks of metal and plastic, so why do they hold
such powerful sway over our behavior?
The reason this happens is because of a phenomenon known as implicit cognition, which
are the automatic thoughts that influence our decision-making. These subconsciously
programmed or “knee-jerk” reactions are activated involuntarily and without awareness or
intentional control through repetitive conditioning and practice over time. Implicit cognition is
the “auto-pilot” that allows us function in daily life and perform complex actions like
commuting to work or cooking our favorite meal without having to think about it.
Implicit cognition is an evolving area of psychology that is helping us understand why
people engage in behaviors that they know are harmful or counterproductive in the long run,
but they are unable to stop in the moment. Researchers point to implicit cognition as the
underlying mechanism responsible for unhealthy and risky behaviors, such as binge
drinking, smoking, binge eating, unhealthy eating, and unsafe sex. Our behavior in these
situations is not governed by rational, reasoned action. We don’t take time to weigh the pros
and cons, but rather act out of impulse, seemingly defying our own common sense. Implicit
cognition fuels the mindless whirlwind of reaction you experience when you are engulfed in
your bad tech habits.
Implicit cognition kicks in after we’ve been triggered (which is why the first task in this
course was to start eliminating triggers). After we’ve impulsively picked up our devices, our
behavior follows a predictable cycle. Like we talked about last week, we start off by getting
a small “high” from indulging the intermittent rewards we get from technology. It feels good,
so we keep engaging, but as we do our self-control goes down. If we continue this way for
MELODYWILDING.COM
long enough, we can even enter a trance-like state where we lose track of time and what
we’re doing entirely.
Fortunately (or unfortunately) the temporary high eventually dissipates, and then we’re left
to face the consequences. Once we notice how much time we’ve wasted, we kick ourselves
for procrastinating, feel guilty about all the time we’ve lost, and beat ourselves up for not
being strong willed enough to just put down our damn phones! This is why we tend to
become aware of implicit cognition only when we look back at situations and wish we
handled it differently.
Here’s an example of how implicit cognition works. Let’s say you’re in charge of planning a
surprise party for your significant other. While your partner is out running errands for the
afternoon, you want to take care of making some calls to lock down a location. Even though
you know you only have a limited time alone, instead of getting on the phone as soon as
you’re by yourself, you tell yourself that your significant other is going to be gone for hours
so you have time to watch some TV before you get around to making the calls.
This is implicit cognition at work -- even though you know that your time alone is limited and
you should make the most of it by placing the phone calls, you tell yourself a story that
rationalizes behaving in a way that is counter-productive in the long run but
enjoyable in the short term.
Of course the end of the first episode you watch concludes with an intense cliffhanger, and
the combination of the small “high” you got watching the first episode and the decrease in
willpower you’re experiencing means you decide to watch another. And then another.
When your significant other gets home from running errands and you’re still in front of the
TV without having made a single call you wonder: What was I thinking?
ATM: THE 3 STEP INTERVENTION STRATEGY
Luckily there’s a way to interrupt this frenzy of unconscious, reactive behavior. It involves
asking yourself a few key questions at critical decision points that will help you short circuit
the mind-numbing effect implicit cognition can have on you so you remain in control of your
behavior.
This proactive intervention strategy is called the “ATM Intervention,” which stands for
ASK, TUNE IN, and MEET THE NEED. When applied to digital habits, the ATM Intervention
will help you create a better relationship with technology so your behavior is aligned with
your goals. It’ll jolt you out of an automatic, reactive cycle and make you more aware of your
behavior so that you start engaging with your devices purposefully, deliberately, and
consciously.
MELODYWILDING.COM
Here’s what ATM stands for:
(1) ASK: Is this the best use of my time? What am I missing out on by doing this right now?
How is this positively contributing to my goals? What’s my intention for this action?
(2) TUNE IN: What type of pain or unpleasant emotion might I be trying to cover up? Am I
trying to avoid confronting or starting something?
(3) MEET THE NEED: What can I do right now about my stress, my loneliness, my
boredom, or whatever other feelings you uncover by “tuning in” in step 2?
This is what it looks like in practice: Let’s say your goal is to be more present and “in the
moment” when you’re in social settings, instead of constantly checking your phone.
Because you’ve been working on creating friction between you and your unwanted digital
habits, you stowed your phone in your bag while you’re out to dinner with friends. However,
as dinner is winding down, everyone else starts pulling out their phones and you feel
compelled to do the same. Here’s your chance to put the ATM Intervention into action.
When you ASK yourself if checking your phone is a good use of your time, you can decide
it’s not, and opt to put your phone down in favor of getting more face time before you leave.
By TUNING IN, you identify that you felt anxious when everyone else started to reach for
their phones, and only reached for yours so that you would fit in with the rest of the group.
You then realize you can MEET THE NEED for connection by putting your phone face down
on the table and instead continuing one of the conversations from earlier in the dinner to get
another few minutes of quality time with your friends before the night is over. Viola,
mindlessness averted.
MELODYWILDING.COM
EVERYDAY MINDFULNESS
EXERCISE
This activity will help you practice using the ATM Intervention to better control and regulate how you engage with
technology on a daily basis. The goal of the exercise is to begin building the habit of engaging in goal-oriented (rather
than mindless) tech use, so you’re the one in the driver’s seat, not your devices.
In this exercise, we’ll focus on the ASK element of the ATM Intervention, which will bring your attention back into the
present moment when you start to feel the impulses of implicit cognition take hold. By questioning your typically
unconscious behavior at these key decision points, you’ll be able to see the situation more clearly and make an
informed choice about how you want to engage with technology in the moment.
You may be wondering “What about ‘TUNE IN’ and ‘MEET THE NEED,’” the other two steps in ATM? For now, I just
want you to focus on the first part of the process, since it can be difficult to manage all three at once when you’re just
learning to use this technique. After you’ve practiced using the first part of the model and have your thinking under
more conscious control, we can then turn to dealing with your emotional and physical needs. We’ll cover those in the
next module’s exercise, when we put all three steps together.
INSTRUCTIONS:
1.
2.
3.
List three common ways you use technology on a daily basis where you often find yourself being distracted
and “pulled down the rabbit hole” before you realize that it’s happening. Ex. checking your work email,
coordinating plans via text
Define your original intention for the action, before your behavior is hijacked by implicit cognition.
Remember, technology is a means to an end, so define a measurable goal or reason for engaging in the
tech behavior. Ex. “Remind Dad about the birthday party”, “Answer my boss before 1pm”
Ask yourself how that action is helping you meet your personal goals. Ex. Emailing friends helps me stay
socially connected, Reading my Kindle helps me meet my monthly book goal
EVERYDAY USE #1:
ü What’s my intention for this action?
ü How is this action helping me meet my current goals?
EVERYDAY USE #2:
ü What’s my intention for this action?
ü How is this action helping me meet my current goals?
MELODYWILDING.COM
EVERYDAY USE #3:
ü What’s my intention for this action?
ü How is this action helping me meet my current goals?
Now when you find yourself in one of these three moments during the next few days, return to these questions.
Since you’ve answered them now, ahead of time and before you’re feeling the pull of implicit cognition in the moment,
it should be easier for you to recognize when you’re drifting from your intentions for using technology and help
yourself get back on track. The hope is that by identifying your true purpose for these behaviors now, it will be easier
for you to remember them in the moment and resist the pull of implicit cognition to stay on track.
Once you’ve got these three experience under control you can expand the list to other instances where you find
yourself being overwhelmed by implicit cognition, but for now just focus on these three to avoid getting too scattered
while you’re just starting out.
MELODYWILDING.COM