Define Your Core Values
When I look into the eyes of men that have long since passed out of this world in in paintings
and sculptures. I can see a sense of purpose in the eyes of those men. Unfortunately, when I
look at men today, I don’t see that same resolve. I see overgrown children that have no idea
what life is or the true value they can impart to the world. They don’t have the drive, purpose,
and ambition that the men of old had and they feel lost. Several books and articles by
sociologists back up these observations. There are so many reasons that men are lost in the
world. Part of that reason is that what were once considered traits of masculinity are now
considered misogamy. It’s no wonder that men of today are lost, our society is attempting to
stamp out millennia of biological programming. But, let’s be honest. There’s not much a man
can do to change the trend in an entire society. So, in this short pdf I want you to focus on
something well within your reach: your core values.
The Importance of Clearly Defining Your Core Values
Defining our values gives us purpose. When you don’t know or you haven’t clearly defined your
values, you end up drifting along in life. Instead of basing your decisions on an internal
compass, you make choices based on circumstances and social pressures. You end up trying to
fulfill other people’s expectations instead of your own.
Life goes by much quicker than you think. The days run into weeks, the weeks into months, and
the months into years. Before you know it, you will be looking back on your life and wondering
what happened. Defining your core values gives you the ability to choose your direction and
work towards your goal more easily because you know what you stand for and what you stand
against.
Defining your values prevents you from choosing wrongly
We are faced with many societal pressures as we move through the world and when your core
values are not clear in your mind you can easily succumb to the influences around you. Core
values make it simple, either you think it is right or you don’t, no two ways about it.
Confidence Boost.
There is nothing like an unwavering belief in yourself and what you stand for. It’s nice to hae a
vague impression of what is good and bad in a general sense. When you have tailored your
beliefs to yourself, you build the confidence to stay congruent with them.
Defining our values makes life simpler.
When you’re sure of your core values, making decisions becomes much simpler. When faced
with a choice, you simply ask yourself, “Does this action align with my values?” If it does, you do
it. If it doesn’t, you don’t. It’s really that simple, no more worrying or lost sleep.
Defining the Core Values
The aim of this exercise is to discover, clearly define, and write down your core values. Before
we begin, let’s be clear that we’re not trying to define goals here. Goals are specific actions, like
“becoming financially independent by age 30” or “asking my girlfriend to marry me this June.”
What we are looking for are values: the ideas that you esteem to be of great worth and that
give structure to your life.
1. Relax your body and mind. However you want to do this is fine. Take a walk, sit in a quiet
room, meditate. Just allow all the tension to flow out of your body.
2. Get a pen and paper, preferably something that you will keep for a very long time.
3. Ask yourself this question: “What’s truly important to me as a man?” There is no right or
wrong answer, it’s just you and your paper. If nothing comes to you at first, don’t worry, it will.
4. Write down whatever comes to you. As soon as it comes, write it. This is your personal list so
don’t worry about what the next man would write or what your brother would write. This is all
you. Keep writing until you cannot think of anything else.
5. Cull the list. This is about core values, the things that are absolutely important to you. The
list should only consist of five values. If there are more than that then the less important ones
need to be removed. If you are having trouble removing some, pair them up and look at them
next to each other and take the one that you consider more important. Do this until your list is
down to five.
6. Scale of preference. Now that you have your list of five values. It is important to decide the
most important ones on a scale of preference. This is because if there is a conflict between two
or more you will know how to go. For example if family is number one and friendship is number
two and you are faced with a situation where you have to do something for your family and
your friends at the same time. You will be able to choose which one to go with without much
trouble. Here are some values to look over and jumpstart your thinking process. Don’t limit
yourself to these ones because our core values may encompass so many different things.
• Adventure • Balance • Confidence • Control
• Creativity • Discipline • Education • Faith
• Family • Financial Security • Friends
• Freedom • Fulfillment • Forgiveness • Fun
• God • Growth • Happiness • Health
• Hope • Honesty • Humor • Independence
• Integrity • Kindness • Knowledge • Marriage
• Peace of mind • Power • Progress • Reason
• Security • Self-reliance • Service • Spirituality
• Strength • Success • Truth • Wisdom
Now, get to it.
My 5 Core Values:
1. ______________________________________________________
2. ______________________________________________________
3._______________________________________________________
4._______________________________________________________
5._______________________________________________________