W r i t e o n Ta r g e t : W r i t i n g S k i l l s f o r
Records Managers
Ken Neal, Canon Business Process Services, Inc.
L e a r n i n g O b j e c t i ve s
• Upon completion of this session, participants will be able to:
–
–
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More effectively obtain support for strategic programs
Communicate more effectively with senior management, IT personnel,
legal executives and RM staff
Master key forms of business writing as well as improve
communication/presentation skills in general
Ken Neal
• Director, Corporate Communications
– 20 years communications experience
– Canon Business Process Services, IBM, KPMG Consulting, Fujitsu
Consulting
– Certified Advanced Speaker, Toastmasters International
– Presentations at ARMA, New York Real Estate Institute and National
Council on Economic Education
O ve r vi e w o f t h i s S e s s i o n
• Keys to good business writing
– Be brief
– Be clear
– Be direct
O ve r vi e w o f t h i s S e s s i o n
• Blueprint for composition
– Focus on the reader
– Watch your tone
– Remember the paragraph
– Put statements in positive form
– Use definitive language
– Omit needless words
– Keep related words together
O ve r vi e w o f t h i s S e s s i o n
• Practical application
– The Business Case
 Critical document for records managers who
want to win support for programs
 Embodies many of the keys to good business
writing we’ll be discussing
 Represents a challenge for many
records managers.
want
Communication Counts
• Today, communicating your message is very
challenging.
• Writing well is a critical way to meet this
challenge.
Key #1 – Be Brief
• Research: sentences over 21 words irritate people.
– Flesch Reading Ease Scale
– The Gettysburg Address was a masterpiece of
shortness
– Hemingway wrote a story in six words
 What were those words?
Key #1 – Be Brief
• “For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.”
Key #1 – Be Brief
• Best practice: keep your sentences to within a
maximum of 18 words.
• Example:
– This year, after a careful fine-tuning of our records
management budget, we were able to reduce our program costs by a
grand total of $30,000.
– This year we saved $30,000 in records management program costs.
Key #2 – Be Clear
• Avoid jargon
• Avoid clichés
• Make every word have a purpose
• Use “intensives” carefully
Key #2 – Be Clear
• Avoid jargon (technical language) unless it’s
appropriate for the intended audience.
– You risk confusing your readers
– Use “iterative” if you’re in engineering.
(Otherwise, use “frequent.”)
– Use “efficacy” if you’re in healthcare.
(Otherwise, use “effectiveness.”)
Key #2 – Be Clear
• Avoid clichés
– You risk boring your readers
– Avoid “hereto” or “hereinafter” (legalese);
delete them.
– Avoid “Permit me to say…”
(meaningless filler); delete it.
Key #2 – Be Clear
• Make every word have a purpose
– Business writing is economical
– All unnecessary words should be eliminated
– Example: In addition, we are also sending you our
latest brochure.
– Better: Additionally, we are sending you our latest brochure.
Key #2 – Be Clear
• Use “intensives” carefully
– Intensives (very, highly, greatly etc.) lean toward overstatement and
may be perceived as unprofessional.
– Example: I was very pleased to talk to you about our records program
– Better: I was pleased to talk to you about our records program
Key #3 – Be Direct
• Avoid being evasive (the opposite of being direct)
– You risk irritating business people
– Two examples:
 Actual press announcement
 Actual voice mail recording
Key #3 – Be Direct
• Avoid focusing on yourself
– You risk not being persuasive in your writing.
– Four questions for focusing more directly on your
audience (i.e. being more “strategic”).
Blueprint for Composition
• Focus on the reader
– Effective writers “speak” about what the
reader wants to know and needs to know.
– Many of us fail to do this. Why?
– I’d like to focus better on the reader. How?
Why?
Blueprint for Composition
• Focus on the reader
– Start by asking a few important questions
 What sort of report does the reader want to
receive?
 What does the reader need to know?
 How do you want to the reader to react to your message?
Blueprint for Composition
• Watch your tone
– Effective business writing has an appropriate
tone
– Tone: the way a message sounds.
– Tone: can make your communication interesting or bland.
Blueprint for Composition
• Watch your tone
– Example: It is with our deepest and sincerest good wishes that we
hereby wish to acknowledge receipt of the news that you have been
appointed National Records Manager of your company.
– Better: Congratulations. We hear you are the new National Records
Manager at Widgets Incorporated.
Blueprint for Composition
• Watch your tone
– Email #1 (From Nat’l RM Office)
– I just got a complaint from John. He said
you guys still haven’t completed the
records needs assessment for your office.
What is the problem down there? I’m tired of getting complaints and
want this completed NOW!
Blueprint for Composition
• Watch your tone
– Email #2 (From Nat’l RM Office)
– Good morning. I just received an email from
John saying the records needs assessment for
your office hasn’t been completed yet. Unfortunately we are way past
deadline and need this data ASAP. Please investigate and get back to
me ASAP to discuss.
Blueprint for Composition
• Remember the paragraph
– Tips on length:
 Memos/reports: Keep opening/closing
paragraphs to three to four lines; body
paragraphs within eight lines.
 Emails: Keep opening/closing paragraphs
to two or three lines; body paragraphs within five lines.
Blueprint for Composition
• Remember the paragraph
– Tips for clarity (memos/reports and emails):
 Use one idea per paragraph. Each paragraph
should develop one idea. When you have a
new idea, start a new paragraph.
 Include the topic in your opening sentence. The first sentence
should introduce the main idea. The following sentences should develop that
idea.
Blueprint for Composition
• Put statements in positive form
– He was not very often on time.
– He usually came late.
• Key point:
– Be careful of the word “not.”
– “He is not honest” versus “He is dishonest.”
– “I did not remember” versus “I forgot.”
Blueprint for Composition
• Use definite language
– Choose the definite over the vague
– “A period of favorable weather set in” versus
“It was sunny every day for a week.”
• Definite language holds the reader’s attention
• Shakespeare
– The details matter
– The words call up pictures
Blueprint for Composition
• Omit needless words
– “Omit needless words” versus
“Get rid of words that are not needed.”
• “The Elements of Style”
– “A sentence should contain no unnecessary words,
a paragraph no unnecessary sentences,
for the same reason a drawing should have
no unnecessary lines…”
Blueprint for Composition
• Omit needless words
– Ken had a dream of speaking at ARMA. His boss agreed
that doing more industry presentations was a good
performance goal for this year. Ken then drafted a
proposal and sent it to ARMA. The ARMA education
committee approved Ken’s presentation, which ultimately enabled him
to meet his performance goal. (Three sentences, 50 words).
Blueprint for Composition
• Omit Needless Words
– Supported by his boss, Ken met his performance goal
and realized his dream of speaking at ARMA by
drafting a proposal that was approved by the association.
(One sentence, 27 words).
Blueprint for Composition
• Omit needless words
– I give, devise and bequeath all of rest, residue
and remainder of my property which I may
own at the time of my death, real, personal
and mixed, of whatsoever kind and nature
and wheresoever situate, including all property which I may acquire or
to which I may become entitled after the execution of this will, in equal
shares, absolutely and forever, to ARCHIE SMITH, LUCY SMITH, his
wife, and ARCHIBALD SMITH, per capita, to any of them living ninety
days after my death.
Blueprint for Composition
• Omit needless words:
– I give the rest of my estate in equal shares to
Archie Smith, Lucy Smith, and Archibald Smith,
assuming they survive me by at least 90 days.
Peter Tiersma, The Nature of Legal Language
Blueprint for Composition
• Omit needless words
– FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY: Will produce serious gastric disturbances
if taken internally.
– “Does this mean that you should only drink it outdoors? Clearly that is
not the intent. But if the message is do not drink, why not just say so?”
Peter Tiersma, The Nature of Legal Language
Blueprint for Composition
• Keep related words together
– The position of words in a sentence is important. Badly placed words
cause confusion and ambiguity.
– “She noticed a large stain in the rug that was right in the center” versus
“She noticed a large stain right in the center of the rug.”
Wr i t i n g T h e B u s i n e s s C a s e
• The critical challenge:
– To persuasively communicate a complex idea
in order to win executive support (e.g. budget).
• Meeting the critical challenge:
– Gain the ability to write a good business case
Wr i t i n g T h e B u s i n e s s C a s e
• Winning budget allocation
– The department with the better argument usually wins
– IT vs. RM
– The situation is changing
Wr i t i n g T h e B u s i n e s s C a s e
• Business case example: “The Principles”
Wr i t i n g T h e B u s i n e s s C a s e
• Business case example: RM program helps
protect food company against insurance
claims.
Wr i t i n g T h e B u s i n e s s C a s e
• Key elements of a good business case
– Know the company/department’s mission statement
– Relate the current situation/challenges to the mission statement
– Quantify how the proposed solution will address the situation/challenges
Wr i t i n g T h e B u s i n e s s C a s e
• Business case example: technology services provider
– “Business documents are critical to the success of our
company”



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Improve timely access to HR documents
Improve auditing/compliance
Paperless system for on-boarding new hires
Enhance disaster preparedness
• Digitizing records can help meet these needs and save money
Wr i t i n g T h e B u s i n e s s C a s e
• Case example solution:
– Digitized records for 12,000 employees (x 40 records each = almost
50,000 images)
– Projected savings over five years = $200,000
– Any authorized employee with a Web browser can retrieve HR records
quickly
– Digital records render paper documents “copies” that can be disposed
according to the retention schedule
Wr i t i n g T h e B u s i n e s s C a s e
• Bottom line
– Many records managers accept budget levels rather than
campaign for more
– A good business case can help win more budget and
elevate the perception of records management
– The key to a winning business case is good writing
Summing Up
• How to write well
• What to write well
Summing Up
• How to write well
– Keys: Be brief, clear and direct
– Compositional blueprint: focus on the reader; watch your tone;
remember the paragraph; make statements positive; use definitive
language; omit needless words; keep related words together.
Summing Up
• What to write well
– The Business Case:
 Win executive support
 Successfully campaign for budget
 Elevate the status of RM in the organization
 Further your own career
Suggested Reading
• The Elements of Style, William Strunk and
E.B. White
• Business Writing Basics, Jane Watson
• The New Doublespeak, William Lutz
• Why Business People Speak Like Idiots, Brian Fugere, Chelsea
Hardaway and Jon Warshawsky
Thank you
[email protected]
Tel: 212-502-2100
www.cbps.canon.com
Advancing Business Performance to a Higher Level