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in cohabitation, changes in legal definitions, civil unions
and divorce.
With a solid definition of the generations behind us, we
now move forward to look at the emerging generations in
the home, school, workplace and marketplace.
4 PARENTING
AND TRAINING
‘Parents often talk about the younger generation
as if they didn’t have anything to do with it.’
Haim Ginott
As the Boomers begin to enter the retirement phase of their
lives, a new generation of parents has emerged: Generation
X. Called ‘slackers’ when they were younger, the X-er parents, older and more financially secure, are certainly not
slack parents. In fact, they have given birth to a generation
more materially endowed, educated, planned for and mollycoddled than any past generation. But while the Zeds have
been a privileged generation, these children of an information-saturated and increasingly competitive world have
not enjoyed the leisurely and lengthy childhood of previous
generations. For their parents, the times have added to the
pool of parenting concerns and challenges. As of 2010, the
X-ers now share the parenting reins with Gen Y. This was
the year that the Y-ers began to turn 30 and enter the peak
childbearing years. The year 2010 also welcomed the start
of a new generation: the Alphas, who will largely be the offspring of the Y-ers.
The family has undergone many changes since the
1960s. However, while the following trends show a move
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The ABC of XYZ
away from traditional family life, the conventional family
unit (or ‘nuclear family’), comprised of mum, dad and kids,
is still by far the norm. Although in decline, 45 per cent of
all families fit this description, while 85 per cent of couples
with children are married.1
Emerging trends in the home
Older grandparents
Today’s new parents – the X-ers – are nearly a decade older
than their parents were when they had their first child. Not
only is this increase significantly contributing to a greater
age difference between children and their parents, but it
is also increasing the age difference between children and
their grandparents – the Boomers. Based on these averages,
women and men in the 1960s were grandparents in their
40s while today’s new mothers and fathers will have to wait
until their 60s to be grandparents for the first time.2
Smaller families
Biologically, the average woman has around 20 years of fertility, yet in the 21st century most Australian women begin
their families in the last quarter of their fertile years. One
reason for the fewer number of children per woman today
is simply that many run out of time.While we may be living
longer, the timeless biological realities have not conformed
to our changing social norms. In the 1990s, the average
Australian couple called their family complete at three children; today, couples stop at two.3 Around 60 per cent of
families with Gen Z children have two or fewer children.4
If we consider the Year 12 class of 2020, more than one in
three of the females will have no children in their lifetime.5
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Table 4.1
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Household trends
Median age at first marriage:
1980
2010
F: 22.1
M: 24.2
F: 22.7
M: 29.6
60%
35%
38%
78%
26.6
30.7
90%
46%
2.1
2.0%
There are fewer Australians married as a
percentage of population than ever before;
however, Australian couples are still in favour
of marriage – they are just delaying it. Of
all couples, 85% are married, and of couples
with dependent children, 90% are married.
Percentage of couples who get married in
a church:
The declining numbers of couples getting
married in churches reflects the declining
levels of religious affiliation. Twenty-three
per cent of those aged between15 and 24
do not identify with any religion, compared
with a small 8% of those aged over 65.
Percentage of marriages preceded by
cohabitation:
Cohabitation has increased by 100% since
the early 1980s.
Median age of mother at birth of first
child:
The increasing age of first-time mothers is
one reason why couples are having fewer
children and more are turning to IVF. More
than three per cent of all babies are now
conceived through IVF.
Percentage of mothers aged under 30
when having first baby:
Women are starting families later than
ever, having fewer children than ever and
returning to work after childbirth sooner
than ever.
Total fertility rate:
By the mid-1980s Australia had slipped
below replacement rate (two children per
woman) and now migration, not natural
increase, keeps Australia growing.
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Average family size:
Parenting and training
1980
2010
5
4
$324
$1000
$60 000
$550 000
185
550
An Australian mother has had, on average,
two children. However, an Australian woman
aged over 60 has had, on average, three
children.
Average weekly gross earnings:
We are earning three times the salary of 25
years ago but houses cost, on average, eight
times that of 1982.
Median house price:
Sydney was the housing leader by a long
way in 1982 where the average house cost
$80 000 compared to Melbourne’s $50 000.
Weeks of work to buy an average house:
In real terms, housing has more than doubled
in its purchase cost.
Average new mortgage:
$29 000
$318 000*
As house prices have increased so have
mortgages. However, today home buyers
borrow a far higher percentage of the value
of their home than in 1982.
*McCrindle Research figures.
For those who cannot conceive naturally, IVF is increasingly becoming an option with more than three per cent
of all babies now conceived through IVF, compared to one
percent in 1995.6
The ‘sandwich’ carer role
Half of all Australians in their 20s still live in the parental
home, highlighting the changed life stages of today. Today’s
20-somethings are delaying the traditional adult milestones
of marriage, children, career and mortgage more than ever
before, and for the first time an entire generation of parents
| 77
have been approaching their 60s while still providing financial and personal support to their children.7
Because of the delay in adult responsibilities, many of
today’s parents have a dual caring role, ‘sandwiching’ them
between the need to care for their dependent children and
their responsibility to ageing parents. Those sandwiched the
most are women, who traditionally have taken on the dominant domestic and childcare role. With more mothers in the
workforce, this is changing, but slowly. Females continue to
be the primary homemakers and carers, taking responsibility for 71 per cent of all home and childcare duties.8
Working mums
An unprecedented number of today’s mothers are working.
In fact, this is by far the norm with just over half (52.6 per
cent) of mothers with children under five working, increasing to three-quarters of mothers (77.3 per cent) by the
time their youngest child is aged between ten and 14 years.9
Of these working mothers, many are part-time workers,
making up 60 per cent of the part-time workforce.10 Balancing family and career is an expectation of most women
today. Yet we have noticed a small but sustained trend of
women choosing full-time parenting over juggling work
and family. There are several drivers of this trend.
On average, women today have an extra eight years in
the workforce before starting a family and so have greater
financial and career security – enabling many to take on the
stay-at-home role. Currently the female labour force participation rate is 58 per cent (compared to 72.1 per cent for
males). Interestingly, there has been a growing recognition
among women that while the working years are growing
(retirement age pushed back to 67 by 2023) the years with
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The ABC of XYZ
young children are shrinking (as the number of babies per
woman declines). There is a trend in women moving back
to the full-time mum role for this more limited time.
For workers today, there is more opportunity than ever
to stay involved in the workplace – even while being a stayat-home mother. In this era of work–life balance, homebased work and self-employment, a growing number of
full-time mums are able to juggle additional roles. An entrée
for many mums into a stay-at-home role is paid maternity
leave, where a three- or four-month scheme ushers in a
new lifestyle.
Economic downturn and the values realignment
The economic downturn of 2008–09 caused a shift from
the rampant materialism of the late 1990s and early 2000s
to a time of reprioritising. There has been a change in discretionary spending; from the gym memberships to the private school commitments, many spending priorities were
realigned. In this economic climate and renewed DIY culture, Australians took back mowing, dog and car washing
and house cleaning.
Even though Australia avoided a recession, in the recovery discretionary spend is more limited and Australians are
once again trading off a bit of their time for money. Some
outsourced jobs are being brought back in-house. Recent
research showed that 56 per cent of survey respondents had
made significant changes in the way they are living. After
the costs are reassessed, many are finding that the second
income can equally be reconsidered.
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Table 4.2
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Percentage of children in paid care by age
Under three
Between three and four
1996
21.6%
59.2%
Today
25.2%
72.8%
ABS Australian Social Trends 2005, cat. no. 4102.0, ABS, Canberra.
Table 4.3
Meet the statistical face of Australian youth
Sex
Male
For every 100 females there are
105 males born
Secondary
education
Will complete Year 12
75% of young people complete
Year 12
Drugs and
alcohol
Will experiment with
cannabis by age 24 and have
had his first beer by age 17
57% of males aged 16–24 have
used cannabis at least once, while
72% of males aged 14 to 17
drink alcohol
Tertiary
education
Will study technology at
university
The most popular pathway from
school is university (29.8%)
then TAFE (24.4%), full-time
work (17.2%), part-time work
(12%), and unemployment
(9%). There are more tertiary
students enrolled in the area of
technology (IT, engineering and
related technologies) than any
other category
Health
Will be overweight at some
point in his life
58.6% of Australian males are
overweight or obese
Mortality
Will reach his 80s
When he was born life
expectancy for a male was
74, although today male life
expectancy at birth is 79. Male
life expectancy will exceed 90 in
the next 50 years
Cause of
death
Will die of cancer
The leading cause of death today
is cancer – a decade ago it was
heart disease
McCrindle Research (2008) The face of Australian youth, <www.mccrindleresearch.com.
au/resources.htm>, accessed 3 July 2008
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Single-parent and grandparent families
Along with changing social norms has come a 54 per cent
increase in single-parent families since 1986.11 Fifteen per
cent of Australian families are now headed by a single
parent, with 83 per cent of these headed by the mother.12 In
the USA, nine per cent of households are headed by a single
parent, up from five per cent in 1970.13
Alongside the rise of single-parent families has come
an increase in grandparent families (where grandparents
are raising their grandchildren). In just ten years, grandparent families have increased in Australia by 100 per cent to
22 000. Half of these families are single-grandparent families, the vast majority of which are headed by the maternal
grandmother.14 In the USA, grandparent families are also
on the rise. As a percentage of the total population, eight
per cent of children (5.7 million) live with their grandparents, of which the majority or 3.7 million live in the grandparents’ home. Of the 3.7 million grandparent caregivers,
nearly half (1.6 million) are single, the vast majority being
women.15
Parenting concerns and challenges
Parents have always had challenges and concerns to deal with
in raising their family. While many of these remain, today’s
parents have a new set of concerns and challenges to overcome. In our survey of 1000 Australian parents, the three biggest concerns of parents of Zeds were bullying, peer pressure
and the negative influence of advertising and media. While
bullying and peer pressure are old realities of childhood, the
influence of media and advertising is a relatively new but
increasing concern of parents in the 21st century.
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In this information age, children are bombarded by all
kinds of messages and images, many of which counteract
the values their parents want to instil. Attempts at censoring
information and images in the interests of young people do
not go unchallenged. Here we have an example of a values
clash in modern society: the majority view that children
should be protected clashes with the article of faith regarding freedom of speech and expression.
A more insidious challenge for parents is that adult content is being aired earlier and earlier in the evenings. Quite
often today parents have to censor television content long
before 8 pm. Parents, quite understandably, feel challenged
and undermined by all this. They are no longer guardians
of information, as Michael Grose notes, but processors and
censors (a role in which, in the light of accelerating technology, they are increasingly impotent).
Not only do today’s parents have to battle the negative
influences of media and advertising from the home-front
(very few opt not to have television and the Internet in
their homes), they also have to be aware of its influence
through other children. Over a third of respondents said
that counteracting the negative influences of peers and television is their biggest challenge as parents of Zeds. Children
dedicate 27 per cent of their waking hours to screen time,
more than the time spent at school or with mum and dad,
adding to this challenge of parents.16 Busy trying to balance
their dual responsibilities of work and home, the television and the Internet can be tempting alternatives to other
before- and after-school activities for exhausted, time-poor
parents.
Since the emergence of the Internet and text messaging, bullying is no longer confined to the schoolyard. One
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in four Zeds will be bullied, while, according to the Federal Government’s NetAlert service, 16 per cent of children
have been bullied online and 14 per cent have been bullied
via SMS.17 Today’s prevalence of MMS, which is similar to
texting but incorporates media-rich content like images, is
only compounding this problem.
Peer pressure has also evolved. With family size shrinking, including extended family, peers (and the media) have
replaced older relatives as a source of information, guidance
and support to young people.18 This, combined with family
breakdown and the widespread use of social technologies
(like SMS, social networking services and instant messaging) by young people, leads us to deduce that peers must be
playing a more influential role in children’s lives today.
A generation ago parents could control what came into
the household – even electronically. Television viewing
could be monitored and when the phone rang everyone
knew about it – including who was on the phone and to
whom. In our research, parents often express the feeling of
having lost control – from mobile phones buzzing with text
messages at all hours to laptops online in the bedrooms.
There is nothing new about the influence of peers on
the behaviour of children. Indeed of all age groups it is children and teenagers who have the highest social desirability
index (a quantifiable measure of the peer influence). However, now peers are not just the school friends from one’s
area but the MSN buddies and MySpace friends from all
parts of the world, and these peers have an influence that
extends well beyond the school day.
The peer pressure put on young Zeds to conform to
the latest trends is perhaps one of the strongest in this age
of consumerism. The most marketed-to generation ever,
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the Zeds watch between 30 000 and 40 000 commercials
a year.19 Because the parents of the Zeds are usually financially well off, it can seem easier to relent. Consequently,
the average Australian household with dependants owns in
excess of 100 toys and one in four families with children
spend more than $500 per child per year on toys.20
According to our studies, drugs, followed by peer pressure, alcohol and sexual relationships, were the biggest concerns of parents in raising teens today, reflecting the reality
that many teens are experimenting with drugs (see statistics
from chapter 3), binge-drinking (35 per cent of teens are
binge drinking regularly, 43 per cent occasionally) and having sex at a younger age (average age is 16).21
In today’s world of ‘up-ageing’, adolescence begins earlier. Indeed today’s ‘tweens’ aged 8 to 12 are as brand savvy,
fashion aware and peer influenced as yesterday’s teenagers.
The often age-inappropriate information to which young
people are exposed is one factor contributing to this phenomenon. With adolescence commencing earlier, young
people are pushing for independence, are peer-focused, and
are engaging in risk-taking behaviours from a younger age
and to greater excess.
The younger generations are more formally educated
than any before them and are set to enter a workforce where
they, rather than jobs, are in demand. Interestingly then,
when it comes to the future of their children, respondents
were most concerned about employment (25 per cent) followed by education (17 per cent), reflecting more the concerns of their own youth.
Surprisingly, respondents were least concerned about the
physical (11 per cent), spiritual (11 per cent) and mental
health (15 per cent) of their children, even though one in
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four children today are obese or overweight, fewer attend
church (the average age of an Australian church attendee
is 5322) and an unprecedented one in five Australian children will have some form of mental illness.23 Despite the
opportunities available to this most educated, entertained
and materially endowed generation, or ironically because
of them, the prevalence of lifestyle diseases is growing with
Generation Z. These medical issues include depression, eating disorders and stress-induced illnesses such as stomach
pain, headaches and chronic fatigue.
These conditions are all symptoms of the competitive,
fast-moving world that this generation of children lives in,
forcing them to grow up faster.24 Of those parents surveyed,
seven in ten believed it is harder growing up today because
of greater pressures. One Boomer male felt that ‘childhood
is less honoured than it used to be’ and a female Boomer
said that ‘sometimes families miss [out on enjoying close]
relationships because there is so much on, particularly for
the children’. Sentiments were similar among the X-ers
with one female respondent saying she felt that ‘our kids
have it very hard today. There is more pressure on them to
grow up too quickly with parents being too busy.’
In the early 20th century, it was the working child; by
the mid-20th century it was the free-range child; and now,
in the 21st century, it is the managed child! The following
story highlights this modern-day phenomenon. One X-er
mother, who bought a PDA for her son on his birthday,
explained that because he was so busy with extracurricular
activities, he needed one to learn how to manage his time.
The boy was only ten.
Poet William Blake’s summary of childhood is becoming
fast redundant in this highly organised society:
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To see a world in a grain of sand,
And heaven in a wildflower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.
With parents facing increasing life complexity and pressures, adult worries have filtered down to children. Home
affordability ranks as a top-five worry among young teens.
‘Getting a job’, ‘being successful’ and ‘needing to make
money’ also top the list of teen concerns.25 Gen Z children
are also serious because of the extra pressures. Being part of
a small family has also made them less carefree, as siblings
no longer outnumber parents.26 No longer are there 3.5
children to play with in the house – in fact for your average child today there is just 0.8 of a sibling to interact with!
Bernard Salt argues that a positive outcome of such pressures will be a more educated and street-smart generation
than any before it.27
With childhood ending and adolescence commencing
sooner, parents are also having to deal with teenage angst
from a younger age – and for longer as more young people
delay adult responsibilities until their 30s and live at home
well beyond their 21st birthday, as we have seen.
For the 21st-century family, the cost of living has become
an increasing concern, especially since the economic downturn. Our X-er parent respondents cited financial stress (not
being able to afford a home or the basics) as their greatest
worry, ahead of terrorism, crime, divorce, road accidents and
cancer. Even though our research showed that seven in ten
Australians agree that it is harder growing up today given
the cost of living, young kids have never been more materially endowed. More children go to private schools, and
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Generation Y & Z: Today’s youth talking about their
generation
What movies were the most formative for you and
your generation?
Knocked Up,The Matrix, Hair,Titanic, American Pie movies,
Scream movies, Team America, Harry Potter movies
What are the brands and fads of your generation?
Nokia, Nintendo, Apple, Google, Natural Confectionery
Company, LG
Comments:
‘Our generation is blamed for a lot of the problems of
today, but I think it is our parents the Boomers who are to
blame.’
‘They [the Boomers] were selfish and many of them left
their kids to do their job of raising ourselves and our
siblings.’
‘We are portrayed as being more rebellious and less
respectful. To me this is untrue. We do things our parents
did. I still stand up for the elderly on the bus if I am
occupying a seat and there are none left, and I see people
my age doing the same all the time.’
‘We have a lot more control over our parents than teens of
past decades.’
‘Our generation is looked down on by the Builders and
Baby Boomers who forget that they too had “crazy”
teenagers in their youth and refuse to admit they are
prejudiced hypocrites.’
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a two-car family with a four-bedroom home is the norm
for 21st-century Australian families. The parents of previous generations are astounded at the X-er parents’ financial
concerns, having themselves started their families before
buying their first home or achieving financial stability. This
generation of mums and dads has high standards when it
comes to their children – not to say of course that previous
generations of parents didn’t. It’s just that the X-ers are used
to comparatively affluent lifestyles and want the same for
their kids. For Gen X-ers this has commonly meant postponing the commencement of a family until financial stability is secured, and then stopping at two children in order
to maintain their comfortable lifestyle.28
A 30-year-old respondent’s comments reflect a common
concern of many X-er parents:
My family is classed as middle class, yet we can’t afford
food some weeks. My children don’t get all their living
needs met – clothes and shoes, haircuts and medicines.
I don’t have a health care card and I can’t afford to get
prescription medicines for my family so we don’t see
the doctor when we are very sick. And things are only
getting worse.
Similar sentiments were expressed by a 42-year-old respondent who asked, ‘Where do they get their average wage indication from? No-one I know, that’s for sure.We are working
harder longer and not getting anywhere.’
Commonly labelled ‘the cotton-wool kids’, Generation
Z are living up to the ‘bubble wrapped’ metaphor. In our
parenting survey, the majority of respondents (62 per cent)
think today’s kids are over-protected. Experts agree. They
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believe that the Zeds are increasingly a nervous generation because of the fears their anxious parents are instilling in them. Our research shows that X-ers are the most
anxious generation of parents, and consistent with this they
are being labelled ‘helicopter’ parents, ‘hyper’ parents and, in
Sweden, ‘curling’ parents (after the Winter Olympic sport
where someone slides the ice puck down the rink and two
others energetically sweep in front of it to make a smooth
path).
Gen X parents certainly have some misgivings about the
impacts of this parenting and how different it is from their
own carefree childhood which Australian children traditionally enjoyed. Children under ten spend less than ten per
cent of their free time outdoors; most of it is spent in front
of the computer, television or mobile phone. Our tracking
studies show that over the last decade children’s TV time
has decreased, but total ‘screen’ time (which includes all
the electronic screens in their life) has increased. Increased
urban living has also contributed to the sedentary lifestyle
of Gen Z. While houses have increased from an average 175
m2 in 1990 to 289 m2 today, the land area has decreased by
one-third from 600 m2 to 400 m2 over the same period.29
When respondents were asked to comment on childhood and its perceived dangers, some telling observations
were given:
• ‘Kids are over protected and stay at home a lot more
nowadays. They rarely go out on their own.’ (X-er
male)
• ‘It’s different from when I was a kid. I’m too scared to
let my daughter out of my sight.’ (X-er female)
• ‘Growing up today is more complicated. I began to see
a glimmer of life to come at eight when the Beaumont
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children went missing. Living in Adelaide then was
uncomplicated. No-one even thought evil could be
done to children. I had no comprehension of not
speaking to strangers.’ (Boomer female)
It is fear of strangers and the dangers associated with
favourite childhood pastimes like tree climbing and bike
riding that has seen once noisy neighbourhoods childfree.30 The warnings of experts and the media have compounded these fears of parents. Parents are now informed
that not only do their children have to be wary of strangers
(‘stranger danger’), but of trusted persons as well (the ‘danger from within’).31 It is interesting when talking to Gen
X-ers about their childhoods to recognise just how much
has changed in a generation: from parks devoid of slippery
slides, to a childhood without firecracker night, pyjama parties, or even a walk to school.
The propensity of Gen X to mollycoddle their Gen Z
children is not only because of increased concerns over
perceived dangers that threaten children’s safety, but also
shrinking family size. All of their eggs are in fewer baskets, and the smaller a family is the more time there is to
‘over-parent’ and the more intense adult–child relationships
become. Being older when beginning their family, X-er
parents have often experienced failed pregnancies and other
difficulties in conceiving their children, many finally turning to expensive fertility treatments. These rough formative
experiences as parents have also added to their anxieties and
tendency to overprotect their young.
Though criticised for being overprotective, ironically
X-er parents are also criticised when they allow their children the freedoms granted previous generations of children. So not only are they protective and anxious but also
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Generation X: Today’s mums and dads talking about
their generation
What movies were the most formative for you and your
generation?
Dirty Dancing, ET,Top Gun, Lost Boys, Friday the 13th, Saturday
Night Fever, Indiana Jones movies, Grease, Star Wars movies,
Reality Bites,The Godfather movies, Mad Max, Puberty Blues,
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,The Breakfast Club, Gremlins, Aliens
What are the most memorable brands and fads of your
formative years?
Doc Martens, Pacman, Atari, Commodore 64, Star Wars,
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Cabbage Patch Dolls
Comments:
‘It does feel like a whole new world today than the one we
grew up in. We seemed to have more time to live and just
be happy with a lot less.’
‘I’m proud to be Generation X, the first generation too
difficult to define.’
‘Generation X is the link between the past and the future.
We are comfortable with technology yet when we grew
up our doors were still unlocked and Michael Jackson was
black. We like Creedence and Cold Chisel but don’t mind
50 Cent and Beyonce. In the modern world (especially in
the workplace) we are the glue that holds young and old
together!’
‘I feel luckier than Generation Y. We had the awesome
original ’80s era – it was fun, the music fantastic
and memorable, without all the violent, depressing
connotations, not to mention bland and butchered songs
that are covered today.’
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experience guilt – whether they give their children the
freedom of playing in neighbourhood streets or restrict
their outdoor activities to times when they are available to
supervise.
Parenting styles and aids
Once, Australians referred to parents for advice regarding
the discipline of their children. Now it’s a plethora of parenting manuals and experts. ‘Sparing the rod and spoiling
the child’ is more than simply out of vogue. Corporal punishment, the prerogative of parents for millennia, is now
scorned by many.
More than nine in ten adult respondents were smacked
as children, and two in three still agree with smacking in
certain contexts. However, even among the parents who
agree with smacking, there is a low level of commitment to
it. Most view corporal punishment as socially undesirable
and that there is strong social pressure to abstain from it.
Indeed, most respondents stated that for this reason they
would not smack their child in a public place.
Interestingly, this feeling of social pressure, conflicting
choices and insecurity comes right at the time when the
amount of parenting advice and number of experts has
risen dramatically. One in three parents have sought parenting advice using the Internet, most have read or accessed a
book on parenting, and most have read a magazine or publication on parenting advice. Two-thirds of our respondents
believe there is less support around for parents today. While
there is more parenting information than ever before, there
is less personal advice or help. Parents report that they don’t
need an expert or another research study as much as they
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need a friend or family member to offer some encouragement and maybe a helping hand. They feel swamped by
their busy lives, undermined by advertising and entertainment that targets their children and is at odds with their
values, and judged by a society that calls on parents to better
control their children while removing some of the tools in
their parenting toolkit.
Compounding this difficulty is the ineffectiveness of
past parenting styles in raising and disciplining 21st-century
children. Once parents would have consulted their own
parents for advice – now it is increasingly common for parents to seek out peers when they require support or guidance because of the perception that the old methods don’t
seem to resonate with their young people. While the days
of seniority-specific courtesy and respect, of the positional
‘because mum/dad said so’ have passed, today we extend a
mutual respect to each other. It can be taken too far, however, with many parents becoming more like ‘peerants’ to
their children. Even in the school setting things are changing. Parents, now increasingly tending to side with their
children when there is a discipline issue, once would have
sided with the teacher.
The younger generations are often criticised for ‘lack of
respect’ for elders. Perhaps it is not that they lack respect
for them, but that, in this world of technological innovation, there is a tendency to look forward, not back – to look
to the future and not the past. Traditionally we have had a
society where people looked up to the older generations for
authority, experience and leadership. However, a quick look
at the media, advertising and our popular culture shows that
today it is the young people who are the early adopters, the
cultural influencers and the trend leaders. In our youth-
Parenting and training
| 93
obsessed culture young people have more influence than
ever before.
Just as respect for authority figures and sense of duty is
typified by the Builders, and distrust of authority figures
is characteristic of Gen X and even the Boomers, the idea
that ‘it’s only a crime if you get caught’ is a slogan for many
young people today. In a study about Australians on the
road, 12 per cent of our respondents stated they would consider asking someone they knew to claim demerit points
on their behalf. In 2006, NSW alone identified nearly 300
occurrences of false nominations for driving offences.32
Shaped in post-modern times where truth is relative and
context, interpretation and individual circumstances dominate, upholding bylaws and regulations is an increasing
challenge.
What’s in a name?
The fashion of names has changed since the Boomers came
into the world. In the 1950s, John was the number one
boys’ name (now 90th), Peter was second (now 125th –
in 2008 only 27 boys nationwide were named Peter) and
Michael was third (now 35th). For girls in the 1950s, Susan
was first, Margaret second and Anne was third. None of
these three names were among the top 143 girls’ names
recorded for 2008.
Gen X parents are being very intentional in every aspect
of their parenting and one example of this is the unique
names they are giving their Gen Z children. In giving
their children ‘unique’ names, they are also trying to instil
an individual identity – just like everyone else! Unique
spelling and differentiated pronunciation of traditional
94 |
The ABC of XYZ
names is a growing trend – the use of ‘y’ instead of an ‘i’
has become relatively common, as has the use of ‘k’ over
‘c’ (Jaykob, Lynkon), double letters (Siimon, Chriss) and
hyphens (Emma-Lee). Popular celebrities have undoubtedly influenced the trend of unique spelling and names:
Nicole Kidman and her child Sunday, Katie Holmes and
Suri, Gwyneth Paltrow and Apple, Sean Penn and Hopper, Elle Macpherson and Aurelius, and Jordan and Princess Tiáamii. In Australia we have had: Tayla and Taylah,
Brayden, Mikayla, Charli, Kaiden, Jorja, Jayden and Jaxon.
Most of the names in the top ten list are relatively new
entrants. Eight of the current top ten boys’ names only
achieved their prominence during the 2000s, while the
remaining two (Thomas and James) are the only survivors
of the 1990s’ top ten list. For girls’ names, all of the top ten
have emerged in the 21st century. Jack has by far been the
most popular boy’s name of the decade (though currently
sitting at number two). It is also the number one name for
the family dog! In 2008, one in 29 baby boys were named
Jack. The obsession with the name Jack is not limited to
Australia.
While Jack had the most number ones, it was not as
popular in Canada (16) and the USA (38) – making James
a much more consistent performer across all nine Anglophone countries: Australia, Canada, England, Wales, Ireland,
Northern Ireland, New Zealand, Scotland and the United
States.
Although Ella topped Australia’s list of top ten girls’ names
for 2007 and 2008 (with Lilly/Lily taking the top spot in
2009), and was the choice for one in 28 baby girls in 2008,
the name Emily has dominated the 2000s with four number
ones, two seconds and one third. Each of the Anglophone
Parenting and training
Table 4.4
| 95
Top ten baby names across the generations
Builders
Boomers
X-ers
Y-ers
Zeds
Males
John
William
James
Robert
Joseph
Charles
George
Edward
Thomas
Frank
John
Peter
Michael
David
Robert
Stephen
Paul
Phillip
Christopher
Ian
Matthew
Andrew
David
Michael
Paul
Adam
Christopher
Daniel
Mark
Scott
Matthew
Daniel
Michael
Thomas
Benjamin
James
Samuel
Phillip
Christopher
Ian
William
Jack
Jacob/Jake
Lachlan
Oliver
Thomas
Riley
Joshua
Ethan
Noah
Females
Mary
Dorothy
Helen
Margaret
Ruth
Virginia
Elizabeth
Anna
Mildred
Susan
Margaret
Anne
Elizabeth
Christine
Jennifer
Judith
Patricia
Michelle
Catherine
Kylie
Nicole
Rebecca
Melissa
Lisa
Belinda
Jessica
Sarah
Emma
Lauren
Rebecca
Ashleigh
Amy
Emily
Catherine
Helen
Rachel
Sarah
Kate
Katherine
Lily/Lilly
Chloe
Isabella
Mia
Olivia
Charlotte
Ella
Emily
Amelia/
Amelie
Ruby
Betty
Pickering, D (1999) Dictionary of First Names, Penguin, London, pp. 388–89.
McCrindle Research (2008) Baby names Australia 2008, <www.mccrindle.com.
au/resources.htm>, accessed 12 June 2009.
countries had different number one girls’ names, except for
Australia and New Zealand (Ella). However, Emily was the
most consistently popular name for newborn girls in the
Anglophone countries in 2008.
Australia shares six boys’ names and five girls’ names with
the top ten lists for Anglophone countries. Australia’s top
ten lists most resemble those of New Zealand and the combined list of England and Wales. In North America, names
96 |
The ABC of XYZ
like Jacob, Matthew, Emma, Ava, Madison, Sophia, Abigail
and Hannah make it into each of the top ten lists. In the
Gaelic countries, names like Daniel, Ryan, Emma and Katie
appear in each of the top ten lists.33
The challenge for today’s parents, in these times of great
change, is to avoid the traps of the rules-free permissive
approach, yet not run to the other extreme of an authoritarian approach which leads to discouraged children. The
ideal, nurturing parent is one who is regular in expressing
love and demonstrating affection for their child, yet is also
clear on defining boundaries and creating a culture of compliance with their child. To effectively deliver in both of
these areas is the perennial challenge of parents. Despite the
new environment in which we parent, the basic dynamics
of parents and children are timeless. Therefore for 21st-century parents, the input of their parents and the sage advice
of grandparents has never been as important.
In the next chapter we look at educating and engaging
today’s students:Y-ers and Zeds.
5 EDUCATING
AND ENGAGING
‘The principle goal of education is to create men who are
capable of doing new things, not simply of repeating what
other generations have done – men who are creative, inventive
and discoverers.’
Jean Piaget
Age is no longer a factor in learning. We are all students in
this information age. While younger generations are now
staying in formal education for longer, older generations
are continuing their learning experiences well past middle
age. In this chapter we examine the attitudes, issues and
outcomes of an entire education system that encompasses
infants, children, teenagers and adults.
So far we have analysed the group of people who represent the majority of today’s learners: they are our children, our children’s children, our nieces and our nephews,
otherwise known as Generations Y and Z. The children of
Australia are today’s students and tomorrow’s employees.
Today’s preschoolers will be completing primary school in
2019, secondary school in 2025 and tertiary education in
the years towards 2030. But what is it that defines this significant cross-section of today’s learners as being different?
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