WISDOM. CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY. 21/2/16
Life is full of choices and I have made both good and bad during my life. Never truer than when choosing
friends. I’ve drifted into friendships with all sorts of people with varying effects on my life. The influence of
different people has change my life and my attitude to life both good and bad. I am a product of all those
influences. This is why we need to “Choose our friends wisely.”
Here are some well known quotes. A friend in need is a friend in deed. Good friends are hard to come by.
C.S.Lewis said: “Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another; ‘What you too? I
thought that no one but myself…’ “ There are literally thousands of sayings about friendship on the net and
all no doubt very meaningful to someone, and all, in some way, attempting to explain the writer’s concept
of “friendship”. One writer put it like this: “A stranger stabs you in the front. A friend stabs you in the back.
A boy or girl friend stabs you in the heart, but real friends only poke each other with straws.” Our verse
today Proverbs 17:17 says “A true friend is always loyal and a brother is born to help in time of need.” Let’s
see if a few Biblical examples can help us understand this verse better.
Biblical examples. A good friend looks a lot like …… Ruth, who was loyal even when times got tough. When
her mother-in-law, Naomi, lost her husband and both sons (one of them was Ruth's husband), Naomi
decided to move far away to deal with her grief. She told Ruth to stay behind, but Ruth said no way: "Don't
urge me to leave you … Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay." (See Ruth 1:1-22) A bad
friend looks a lot like …… Pharaoh's cupbearer, who didn't have a clue about showing appreciation. While
in prison with Joseph, the two became friends. Joseph promised the cupbearer that he would soon be
freed from prison and given a new chance at life—great news indeed! But when the cupbearer got out of
jail, he "did not remember Joseph; he forgot him." (See Genesis 40:1-23) A good friend looks a lot like ……
Jonathan, who would do anything, even risk his life, for a friend. Jonathan's dad, King Saul, was jealous of
David, Jonathan's best friend. When Jonathan heard his dad wanted to kill David, he hatched a plan to save
his friend's life. Jonathan modeled the ultimate friendship when he told David, "Whatever you want me to
do, I'll do it for you." (See 1 Samuel 20:1-42)
A bad friend looks a lot like …… Judas, who often acted like a friend, but put his own self-interests above
everything else. He followed Jesus everywhere, yet was often guilty of faking it. Even when Jesus said Judas
would betray him, Judas essentially replied, "No way! Not me!" He continued his charade to the moment
of betrayal, by giving Jesus a kiss on the cheek, to which Jesus said, "Judas, are you betraying the Son of
Man with a kiss?" (See Matthew 26:15-17, 25; Luke 22:47-48) A good friend looks a lot like …Jesus, who
was the ultimate friend to everyone. He was compassionate, encouraging, patient, loyal, understanding,
loving. The best way to be a good friend is to be like Christ, to "clothe" ourselves with the things of God, as
it says in Colossians 3:12-17. That's the ultimate definition of what a good friend looks like.
More from Proverbs :“A friend loves at all times and a brother is born of adversity”. "A man of many
companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother". "Wounds from a
friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses“. "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens
another." These are some of the wise words handed down to us for our consideration and application.
They are all true but some need further understanding. Amos 3:3 gives us a clear example. The principle of
friendship found in Amos. "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"
This pearl of wisdom from Amos is perhaps one of the more easily understood. Friends are of like mind.
The truth that comes from all of this is that a friendship is a relationship that is entered into by individuals,
and it is only as good or as close as those individuals choose to make it. Someone has said that if you can
count your true friends on the fingers of one hand, you are blessed. A friend is one whom you can be
yourself with and never fear that he or she will judge you. A friend is someone that you can confide in with
Sermon Handout-Steve Regelous/21 February 2016
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complete trust. A friend is someone you respect and that respects you, not based upon worthiness but
based upon a likeness of mind.
The Words of Jesus. "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my
friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his
master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have
made known to you"
This is both a statement of explanation and a rule by which we can determine likemindedness of a
potential friend. Jesus explains the extent that he expects us to go to for a friend. He of course set the
example. Then his words offer us a tool for testing counterfeit friends. If they do not do what he
commands, they are not his friends and therefore, not our friends in Christ. We would not be of like minds.
Paul puts it like this. "For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone
would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners,
Christ died for us"
"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends"
Now, that is true friendship!
Friends or Acquaintances. What’s the difference?
Proverbs 18:24. - The Hebrew is literally, “a man of friends will come to destruction.” The word means to
“break or destroy" (comp. Isaiah 24:19); and the maxim means that the man of many friends, who lays
himself out to make friends of bad and good alike, does so to his own ruin. They will feed upon him, and
exhaust his resources, but will not stand by him in the day of calamity, but, rather will give a helping hand
to his downfall. It is not the number of so called friends that is really useful and precious. But there is a
friend that sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 17:17; Proverbs 27:10).
Facebook? Friends or acquaintances? Just hit the button and you have a new friend. Really? Or is it just a
computer program matching people who may have some rather tenuous link with you or someone else
who has a mutual link? These people are not friends they are ships that pass in the night.
What words or phrases come to mind when describing a true friend? Trust, truth, reliability, caring, going
out of their way to help, like minded, etc. The value of a true friend shows when someone is willing to put
your friendship on the line because they truly care. Making Friends. Some people say they don’t have any
true friends. They say “Nobody seems to want to be my friend”. Are they trying to make friends? This is so
real. Children especially have this problem and sometimes they try too hard or end up willing to except
what ever is on offer. Too often as adults, we don’t actively look for those special friends because we don’t
want to be pushy or we don’t want to get refused. Remember the chesdale cheese advert? “Good things
take time”. Well nothing could be truer when it comes to making true friends.
Your Challenge! What are you doing to cultivate a friendship? Don’t spend your time looking for lots of
friends. Find your likeminded person. Spend your time developing true friendship. Don’t just wait for it to
happen. Find the right, like minded, person and make it happen. True friends are worth their weight in gold
– as we say.
Choose your friends wisely.
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