TABLE OF CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
Notice to Parent or Guardian of Religious Permeation ---------------------------------- 4
Parents’ Prayer ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------5
‘Male and Female He Created Them’ -------------------------------------------------------- 5
Role of Parents ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 6
Role of the Family, Parish, and Community ------------------------------------------------- 7
Religious Education Program Philosophy ---------------------------------------------------- 7
The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality – Catholic Principles -------------------- 8
Alberta Learning Guidelines --------------------------------------------------------------------- 8
Teaching Human Sexuality in the Calgary Catholic School District –
Guidelines for Teachers ------------------------------------------------------------------ 9
THE CURRICULUM
The Human Sexuality Curriculum
Introduction and Background ----------------------------------------------------------- 11
Health and Life Skills Alberta Catholic Schools:
Human Sexuality Outcomes Grades 7 – 9 ------------------------------------------ 12
The Nature and Needs of the Learner -------------------------------------------------------- 12
GRADE 7 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 13
Grade 7 Student Handout – Being Male and Female ----------------------------------- 16
- It’s Okay to say “NO” --------------------------------------- 18
Tips for Parents of Grade 7 Students --------------------------------------------------------- 18
GRADE 8 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 19
Grade 8 Student Handout – Sexual Attraction ------------------------------------------------23
- Respect and Making Decisions -------------------------- 24
- Making Choices for You ------------------------------------ 26
- Sexually Transmitted Infections Fact Sheet ----------- 27
- Teen Sexual Activity: Contraception vs Chastity----- 29
- Contraception & Catholic Teaching---------------------- 30
Tips for Parents of Grade 8 Students -------------------------------------------------------- 31
GRADE 9 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 31
34
Grade 9 Student Handout – The Only Safer Sex is NO Sex -------------------------------- Choosing Life--------------------------------------------------- 35
- Contraception & Catholic Teaching --------------------- 36
- Avoiding the Risks of Date Rape --------------------------37
Tips for Parents of Grade 9 Students --------------------------------------------------------- 38
Appendix A: STUDENT EXEMPTION UNDER SECTION 50.1(2) OF THE
SCHOOL ACT -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 39
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SUPPORTING RESOURCES FOR PARENTS
42
Social & Sexual Development in Children & Adolescents ---------------------------------Communication Starters -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 44
Sex On TV – What’s a Parent to Do? --------------------------------------------------------- 46
The Internet – Safety Tips for Kids ------------------------------------------------------------ 48
The Internet – Tips for Parents ----------------------------------------------------------------- 49
Body Image: Tips for Parents ------------------------------------------------------------------ 50
Resources: Church Documents --------------------------------------------------------------- 52
Other Helpful Resources for Parents --------------------------------------------------------- 53
“Violence: You CAN make a difference”
Early Warning Signs of Dating Violence ----------------------------------------------55
57
Do You Think Your Husband/Partner/Boyfriend is Abusing You? --------------What You Can Do to Help an Abused Woman –
Friend, Relative, Co-Worker or Neighbour ----------------------------------59
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INTRODUCTION
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NOTICE TO PARENT OR GUARDIAN
OF RELIGIOUS PERMEATION
The School Act requires a school board to give notice to a parent or guardian when
courses of study, educational programs, institutional materials, instruction or exercises
include subject matter that deals primarily and explicitly with religion.
All of the schools in this district are Catholic Separate Schools, the essential purpose of
which is to fully permeate Catholic theology, philosophy, practices and beliefs, the
principles of the Gospel and teachings of the Catholic Church, in all aspects of school
life, including in the curriculum of every subject taught, both in and outside of formal
religion classes, celebrations and exercises.
Every course of study and educational program, all institutional materials, instruction
and exercises will at all times include subject matter that deals primarily and explicitly
with religion.
2348396-1
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Parents’ Prayer
Dear Father of us all, we come humbly before you seeking your wisdom and courage.
You have entrusted us with your precious children to nurture and guide, and we ask for
your help in being the parents we are called to be. We are grateful for the many joys we
continue to receive as parents, and we are challenged by the awesome responsibility
we have been given. Help us to be wise and loving, especially as we teach our children
about your wonderful gift of sexuality. Grant us what we need to guide them, through
word and example, in your ways of loving. We ask this through your Son, Jesus.
Amen.
‘Male and Female He Created Them’
“So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male
and female he created them…God saw everything that he had made, and indeed, it was
very good.”
Genesis 1:27, 31
“Sexuality is a fundamental component of personality, one of its modes of being, of
manifestation, of communicating with others, of feeling, of expressing and of living
human love. Therefore, it is an integral part of the development of the personality and
of its educative process: ‘It is, in fact, from sex that the human person receives the
characteristics which, on the biological, psychological, and spiritual levels, make that
person a man or a woman, and thereby largely condition his or her progress towards
maturity and insertion into society.’”
Educational Guidance in Human Love,
John Paul II, Rome, 1983
“Man and woman have been created, which is to say, willed by God: on the one hand,
in perfect equality as human persons; on the other, in their respective beings as man
and woman. ‘Being man’ or ‘being woman’ is a reality which is good and willed by God:
man and woman possess an inalienable dignity which comes to them immediately from
God their Creator. (Cf. Gen 2:7, 22) Man and woman are both with one and the same
dignity ‘in the image of God’. In their ‘being-man’ and ‘being-woman’, they reflect the
Creator’s wisdom and goodness.”
Catechism of the Catholic Church #369
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Role of Parents
“The role of parents in education is of such importance that it is almost impossible to
find an adequate substitute. It is therefore the duty of parents to create a family
atmosphere inspired by love and devotion to God and their fellow men which will
promote an integrated, personal, and social education of their children. The family is
therefore the principle school of the social virtues which are necessary to every society.”
“Parents are the first and most important educators of their children, and they also
possess a fundamental competency in this area: they are educators because they are
parents.”
The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality
This Parent Handbook is provided to assist you in talking with your child about sexuality
issues, and to provide you with information regarding the human sexuality curriculum in
Grades 7, 8, and 9. We, as educators, may be the experts in the classroom, but only
you have the relationship of love and trust with your child that is the basis of all our
work. We depend greatly on your special knowledge of your child, at all stages in
his/her development, in order to help us properly provide for his/her educational needs.
Our children develop their values from what we do, but they also develop their values
from what we say. Therefore, as parents, we must use each teachable moment to talk
to our children about our values. Sexuality education is an ongoing process.
Sexuality is not just sexual intercourse. Sexuality has to do with being female or
male and the similarities and differences we share. Sexuality looks at how we view our
bodies and our relationships with each other; how we grow and change over the years;
who we are as women and men (girls and boys); and, of course, how we reproduce.
Sexuality is an important part of being human.
As parents, you are already teaching your children many things about sexuality,
and you have been since the day they were born. Children learn from:

the way they are touched by others;

the way their bodies feel to them;

what your family believes is okay and not okay to do;

the words that family members use (and don’t use) to refer to parts of the
body;

watching the relationships around them;

who does what chores, and so on.
They are also picking up a great deal from outside the family whenever they watch
television, listen to music, talk with their friends, and interact with the world around
them.
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Role of the Family, Parish, and Community
Parents, as primary educators of their children, have both the right and the duty to
nurture, guide, and prepare their children for the obligations of living and learning
outside the home. The Religious Education program in the school supports parents in
their efforts by modeling and teaching the truths of the Catholic faith. If this education is
to be successful, parents must cooperate actively with the school, be kept informed of
the Religious Education program, and support the Religious Education efforts of the
school by making use of the structures offered for parental involvement in the school.
Good parent-teacher relations contribute to a well-rounded experience for the child.
Ultimately, Religious Education takes place within a community living out its faith in a
space and time not limited to the school. Religious Education is the work of a lifetime,
aimed at enriching the faith life of students at each stage of their development, and
leading them to an eventual adult understanding to which they are able to respond fully.
Religious Education Program Philosophy
As Catholic Educators, we have a philosophy. It emerges from our faith and it is
expressed in our concept of and relationship with God, human beings, our environment,
and society. Our philosophy is based on the teachings of Jesus Christ.
As religious educators, we represent the Church. Thus, our teaching cannot be limited
to our own thoughts and opinions. We speak for the Church community, its history, and
its divine authority to teach.
“The activity of a Catholic school is, above all else, an activity that shares in the
evangelizing mission of the Church; it is a part of the particular local Church of the
country in which it is situated, and shares in the life and work of the local Christian
community.”
The Religious Dimension of Education in a Catholic School
The Sacred Congregation for Catholic Education
Rome, 1988
Regarding the teaching of human sexuality:
“The role of parents is so vital in the basic education of children that no other agency
can adequately replace it. The Church and school can only assist and support parents
in fulfilling their responsibility for developing moral attitudes and Christian values.”
Guidelines for Family Life Education
Ontario Conference of Catholic Bishops, 1987
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The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality
Catholic Principles
1. Parents are the primary educators in the area of human sexuality.
2. Pope John Paul II states, “The family is the primary but not the only exclusive
educating community.” He emphasizes the importance of parents and educational
groups to strive for the “formation of a perfect educating community.”
3. Each person is created unique in the image and likeness of God.
4. All life is valuable and worthy of respect from the time of conception and in every age
and condition.
5. The role of Catholic Education is to present “Human Sexuality as a sacred mystery
and in accord with the doctrinal and moral teaching of the church.”
6. Sexuality, including the genital experience, is to be valued.
7. Sexual intercourse has a two-fold purpose: unitive and procreative.
8. “Only information proportionate to each phase of their individual development should
be presented to children and young people.” As educators, we must make good
judgment calls. “The principle of decency” must safeguard the virtue of chastity.
“Therefore in passing on sexual information in the context of education for love, the
instruction must always be ‘positive and prudent’ and ‘clear and delicate’.
Alberta Learning Guidelines
(Directive 4.1.2)
o Every school operated by a board shall provide human sexuality education to
students in Grades 4 through 9, and in at least one senior high course required of all
students.
o Human sexuality education shall be taught within the normal school day.
o Human sexuality education may be offered through different instructional structures.
The goals and objectives outlined in the health curriculum are prescribed, but may
be offered through family life or religion classes.
o Parents shall be advised prior to the start of human sexuality instruction of their right
to exempt their child from this course component.
o Parent information nights to meet the teachers and ongoing chances for parents to
review learning resources and teaching concepts are strongly recommended.
o Schools will provide alternate learning experiences for those students who have
been exempted from human sexuality instruction by their parents.
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Teaching Human Sexuality
in the Calgary Catholic School District
Guidelines for Teachers
1. Parents are their children’s primary educators.
2. All teachers new to teaching human sexuality in the Calgary Catholic School
District must take the “Teaching Human Sexuality” inservice prior to teaching
this component of the Family Life Program.
3. Human sexuality is taught in the spring in grades 4 – 9 when rapport has been
developed between teachers and students.
4. A letter must be sent home to parents in September, informing them that
human sexuality will be taught in their child’s classroom later that year, and
listing the topics that will be addressed. A second letter must be sent home
one month prior to instruction, listing the topics and dates of instruction.
Parents have the right to exempt their children from human sexuality
instruction. Schools will provide alternative learning experiences for those
students who have been exempted.
5. All resources must be approved by the District. Always check the reference
for appropriate Catholic content and that information given is compatible with Church
teachings.
6. Check the Approved Organizations & Agencies book in your school library
before booking guest speakers.
7. Preview videos. All videos at I.M.C. have been approved. If you are using
videos from other sources, they must be approved.
8. Students in combined grades must be taught human sexuality according to
their grade level curriculum only.
9. The School Nurse is available as a resource for teachers. The School Nurse
does not teach curriculum and cannot be asked to teach students human
sexuality.
10. Stay within the curriculum guidelines. If the resources go beyond the
curriculum for your grade level use only the applicable material.
11. For further information, support, resources, and other help, please contact
the Religious Education & Family Life Consultant.
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THE CURRICULUM
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The Human Sexuality Curriculum
Introduction and Background
Alberta Learning mandated that all schools must implement a new Program of Studies
for Health and Life Skills from Kindergarten through Grade 9, beginning in September of
2002. Of particular concern to Catholic school districts in our province was the human
sexuality component of the Program. In response, Bishop Henry formed a committee to
rewrite the Grade 4 through 9 human sexuality lessons for use in all Alberta Catholic
schools. The committee was to rewrite this component so that our children develop a
full understanding of and an appreciation for the awesome gift of their sexuality from a
Catholic perspective.
Respectful of their role as primary educators of their children, parents were asked to
provide feedback on the new curriculum. Beginning in May 2003, and continuing
through February 2004, the Calgary Catholic School District invited parents to take part
in focus groups to discuss their common concerns and insights. These sessions
provided invaluable feedback and direction, including requests for support of their role
as primary educators of their children. Parents also provided written feedback following
a pilot of the new curriculum in March 2004, and again following full implementation of
the curriculum in the District in May and June 2004.
Parents consistently provided the Calgary Catholic School District with three general
recommendations:
 Provide parents with the support they need to fulfill their role as primary
educators of their children.
 Continue to teach human sexuality as a comprehensive unit in the Religious
Education Program only.
 Create revisions to the curriculum that reflect the concerns and suggestions
provided by parents, teachers, and students of this District.
In response, the Calgary Catholic School District has committed to increasing
communication with parents through information letters and evenings that provide
parents opportunities to more closely examine the curriculum and have their questions
and concerns addressed. As well, this Parent Handbook is a direct result of parental
request for more support. Parents always have the option of contacting their child’s
teacher with their questions and concerns. They also can contact the District Religious
Education and Family Life Consultant.
The concerns of parents, teachers, and students have been heard, and the curriculum
will reflect the feedback the District received. The Calgary Catholic School District will
also continue to honour the overwhelming number of parental requests to teach the
human sexuality curriculum as a comprehensive unit in the Religious Education
program only.
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Health and Life Skills Alberta Catholic Schools:
Human Sexuality Outcomes
Grade 7 – 9
Prior to teaching this unit, teachers must have taken part in a District “Teaching Human
Sexuality” inservice. Letters must have been sent home, informing parents that this
instruction will take place in their child’s classroom and inviting parents to call with
questions or concerns. This unit is taught in the spring when rapport has been
developed between teacher and students.
Teachers are reminded in the introductory pages of this curriculum that “discussing
topics on sexuality with young people can be very challenging. It is important to create
the climate in which sexuality issues are to be discussed.” Ground rules need to be reestablished, with emphasis on mutual respect. As part of their lesson preparation,
teachers are invited to read and reflect on the scripture texts and church teaching
included in the Theological Background of the section for the teacher in the lesson plan.
Each lesson begins with a prayer and a discussion of a scripture passage.
“Many young people are very interested in the topic of sexuality, but are not always
comfortable asking questions. To facilitate student questions, it is recommended that
teachers use the ‘Question Box’. The ‘Question Box’ encourages students to ask
questions while maintaining confidentiality.
 Remember, teacher responses must always reflect our Catholic tradition.
 Answer questions that reflect the context of the curriculum outcomes. It is important
that teachers focus on age appropriate material and use correct terminology.
 If some students need questions answered that go beyond the curriculum outcomes,
do not hesitate to refer these questions to the parents, who are the primary
educators.
 If you are uncertain as to how to answer a question, let the students know.
Research the question and then provide correct information to the student.”
(From: Health and Life Skills Alberta Catholic Schools
Human Sexuality Outcomes Grade 4 – 9 , p.3)
The Nature and Needs of the Learner
Central to all curricula are the needs of students, and the special way they learn. The
Religious Education program, taking this into account, is designed to facilitate an
education that builds upon the student’s physical, intellectual, psychological, emotional,
and faith development. The goal of Religious Education is to meet students’
developmental needs at the present time, and equip them to be open to respond to the
message of revelation in an authentic, personal way.
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GRADE 7
Grade 7 Outcomes:
The student will examine the wonder of the human reproductive
process and recognize how sexual development is unique and
diverse.
The student will explore the effects of social influences regarding
gender roles and gender equity; e.g. media, culture, and religion.
The student will explore the personal decision-making process from a
Catholic perspective.
The student will examine the influences on personal decision-making
for responsible sexual behaviour; e.g. family, cultural beliefs and
religious and social values.
The student will examine our Christian principle of human dignity and
how this calls us to a chaste life.
The student will explore abstinence as a faithful response to God’s
call.
The student will consider the benefits and cautions of Internet
communication tools – Chat Rooms, Instant Messaging, Blogs, EMail, & Test Messaging.
Catechetical Focus:
 We marvel at the complexity of the human body and how God has created its parts
to work as a whole.
 We are called to make life-giving choices.
 We discern what is good and right for a healthy lifestyle through prayer, church
teaching, personal reflection, an informed conscience, and the wise counsel of
others.
 We are called to respect the dignity and needs of others.
 Chastity and purity are virtues of great value.
 Everyone is called to and capable of living a chaste life.
 Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit.
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Note to the Catechist:
• Students will review the concept of puberty and all the changes associated with this
stage of their life. They will also review the human reproductive system with terms
appropriate to their grade level.
• During puberty, students sometimes become anxious about their bodies as they
compare their development or lack of it with their peers. It is important to reassure
students that they are all ok, that they all mature and develop at different rates and
in ways unique to them. God has created each of them wonderful and unique and
God isn’t finished with them yet.
• Students need to have access to correct information about sexuality. Examples of
responsible sources of correct information regarding sexuality are parents, teachers,
church, guidance counsellors, medical professionals.
• Students will explore gender roles and what influences their concept of gender.
• Students need to come to accept and respect their own and others’ femaleness and
maleness.
• Students need to become aware of how their language and actions may be hurtful
and disrespectful of others when they use terms like “fag”, “gay”, etc. whether it be
done with intent to hurt or tease (e.g. female hockey players need to be respected
and recognized as much as male hockey players, and males should not be teased
or discouraged from careers such as nursing or culinary arts.)
• Students will also examine how media can reduce the human person to an object.
Pornography degrades a human person. Pornography is defined as pictures, films,
or writing deliberately intended to arouse sexual excitement.
• Students will explore who and what influences the choices they make about sexual
behaviours. They will identify positive and age appropriate ways of expressing their
sexuality as well as learn strategies for resisting negative pressure.
• Sexuality includes all aspects of being male or female, this includes the effect being
male or female has on our relationships with others and the feelings we have about
oneself.
• Sexual behaviour encompasses language used, movies and television shows
watched, dating, and sexual activity.
• Positive and appropriate ways for expressing their sexuality or dealing with feelings
of attraction include: outings with a group of friends, writing positive poetry or letters,
sending appropriate notes, shopping together, joining a youth group, do a hobby or
sport you enjoy together, giving a genuine compliment, smiling at each other, sitting
together at lunch time.
• The collage students make is to look at positive messages in the media so as not to
focus on the abundance of negative messages in the media.
• Students will review a Christian decision making model, “Observe, Judge, Act”, and
evaluate how they apply this model to important moral decisions.
• Many decisions young people make about their sexuality involve using their
conscience. It is important for students to realize how they need to inform their
conscience in order to make wise decisions that give life to self and others.
• Students will explore the concepts of human dignity and chastity. They will begin
this exploration by examining the incarnation and recognizing how this event gives
all human life dignity.
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•
•
•
•
The greatest gift one can give to another person is the gift of oneself. Every time the
gift of oneself is given to another and then the gift is rejected, self-respect, sense of
value, and sense of dignity is lost.
As Catholic Christians, we are all called to a chaste life, a life that shows a
reverence and regard for others. We believe that sexuality is a special gift from God
and that we are called to respect it by engaging in sexual activity only within a
marriage.
Abstinence is a faithful response to God’s call to live a chaste life. There is no risk of
exploitation, being emotionally scarred, contracting sexually transmitted diseases, or
unwanted pregnancies. The fruits of a chaste life are a sense of dignity and the
freedom God gave us.
We have the right to stand up for ourselves, to show others that we are worthy of
respect and dignity. When faced with a request that we do not wish to honor, we can
say “no”, politely, firmly, and positively.
Scripture References:
 Genesis 1: 27-31
 Corinthians 12: 26
 Psalm 139: 13-15
 Jeremiah 1: 5
 Genesis 2: 21-24
 Deuteronomy 30: 15-20
 Isaiah 11: 2-3
 Matthew 7: 7-11
 Philippians 4: 4-9
 John 15: 12-13
 Galatians 5: 13-26
 1 Thessalonians 4: 3-7
 1 John 1: 1-4
 Matthew 5: 27-30
 Luke 2: 1-7
Catechism of the Catholic Church References:
 #355 – 357
 #2332 – 2333
 #1783 - 1785
 #2496
 #2847
 #1731
 #2347
 #2337
(We are called to accept our sexual identity in its diversity and uniqueness as each one
of us is created in the image of God. We are designed for relationship with others and
our sexual identity, male and female, is complementary. Our sexuality is a gift that can
lead to intimate relationships with the capacity to love and procreate.
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Human beings are free to choose their actions and thus are responsible for their
actions. Part of our humanity is living with temptation. We are called to critique the
internal and external influences that surround us, for example - mass media. Through
forming one’s conscience and through prayer we are called to reflect upon and discern
our choices. Informing one’s conscience is a lifelong task and requires that we consult
scripture, the teachings of the Church and engage actively in prayer. We are also aided
by the witness and advice of others who live according to their informed conscience.
Living according to one’s conscience guarantees freedom and peace of heart and mind.
Chastity is, too often, confused with the terms celibacy and abstinence. Chastity is a
virtue that holds a deep reverence and regard for one’s dignity and the dignity of others.
Thus, all people, whether married or single, are called to live a chaste life. Celibacy, on
the other hand, refers to one who chooses to refrain from sexual activity. Living a
chaste life means to be self-giving, not selfish in relationships with others. Chastity is
purity of mind and body.)
Recommended Resources:
• CD Rom: Life Begins (Available through Quality Multimedia) – Teachers can only
use those sections that are relevant to the Grade 7 outcomes, including review.
• Krantzler, N. & Kane, W. Abstinence: Health Facts. Santa Cruz, California: ETR
Associates. 2004.
• Catholic Values and Sexuality (Videos & Manual), by Rev. John Forliti. (PARENTS:
The Manual is available at the Catholic Diocesan Pastoral Resource Centre with the
title “Valuing Values Program Manual – Sexuality Education in the Catholic Tradition,
1986)
• Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops: Believe in Me. (Religious Education
Program Grade 7 Student Text)
• Video: Puberty for Girls: Amazing Changes Inside and Out. Marlin Motion Pictures,
2001. (PARENTS: This video is available at the Calgary Public Library – j612.661
PUB)
• Video: Puberty for Boys: Amazing Changes Inside and Out. Marlin Motion
Pictures, 2001. (PARENTS: This video is available at the Calgary Public Library –
612.661 PUB)
Grade 7 Student Handout
Being Male and Female
God created human beings with two different genders. We are either male or female. Our
maleness or femaleness is our gender. At the moment of conception, chromosomes decide our
gender, if we are male or female. If two X chromosomes meet, then the baby will be a girl. If the
baby is a boy, then an X and a Y chromosome have come together.
God has also created us to experience life fully. Gender roles do not allow us to live fully, because
they limit our choices and us. We should all be able to share our gifts, no matter what they are,
for the good of all.
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The attitudes and behaviours that boys and girls develop in our society are learned. We are not
born this way, but because of how we are treated and what we learn to do and play with, we learn
gender roles.
Gender roles are the ways we learn to conform to specific role expectations in our society. Our
society often expects certain behaviours from boys and different behaviours from girls. Gender
specific roles dictate that if you are a girl or a boy, or a woman or a man, you must perform these
specific roles, and do them well. Can you name some specific male and female gender roles?
Where do we learn these gender roles? We learn them from our families, our friends, the media,
our culture and our society. Generally, our families model traditional male and female roles for
us. Mom has certain responsibilities and activities, and Dad has other responsibilities and
activities. We witness these and then try to copy them. Our friends may influence us by
convincing us to play with certain toys and to have specific interests.
The media perpetuates gender roles in our society by portraying males and females in very
traditional gender roles. In many television shows, the girls play with dolls, while the boys play at
sports. The mothers are the nurturers, and the fathers are the breadwinners. The women need
saving, and the men are the ones to do the saving. The women are emotional, sensitive, and
whiny. The men are strong, aloof, and rational. These are often the images that we find in movies
and on television.
Think, also, about the way people in the media look. They don’t seem quite real. Their
appearance is beautiful, almost perfect. We look up to them and we try to imitate them. We have
images of what we think we should look like and we may overstress ourselves to have the perfect
hair, teeth, or body.
Our society pressures us to conform to gender roles by maintaining beliefs and values that are
gender specific. We often hear the phrases “act like a man,” “boys don’t cry,” “be ladylike,” and
…All of these conjure up images of expectations and attitudes that society suggests boys and
girls live up to.
Sometimes, our culture may shape our gender roles. Cultural traditions will dictate how men and
women act, work, and think.
It's not wrong for guys to like sports or fix cares or for girls to enjoy cooking. The problem is that
we are told that we must perform these roles in order to fit in. It is important for all of us to make
our own decisions about what we do.
Neither gender is better than the other. Jesus was a whole person; he had what we would
consider traditionally masculine and feminine qualities. Jesus was compassionate, assertive,
loving toward children, willing to take a stand, sensitive toward others, independent, and much
more. God wants everyone to respect the gender of others and to be the very best person one
can be.
Grade 7 Student Handout
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It’s Okay to say “NO”
Here are some suggestions for saying “No” and still keeping your friends.
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Know ahead of time what you will do in situations when you will need to make choices about
sexual activity, drugs, smoking, or drinking.
Tell your friends what your convictions/values are. Be friendly, but firm. Be assertive.
Be honest. Tell your friend how you really feel. If you lie, you may be forced to make up more
lies.
Speak only for yourself; show respect for yourself. For instance, you might say, “I’m not ready
to have sex yet.” “I plan to save sex for marriage.”
Suggest an alternative activity. “Let’s go to a movie or the mall!” There are alternatives to
sexual activity that will enhance a deepening friendship.
You can always walk away. Your friend might just join you.
Be prepared to accept the fact that if you don’t say “yes” your friend may reject you. If that
happens, he or she really wasn’t the friend that you thought they were.
Tips for Parents of Grade 7 Students:






Developing open and honest communication with children about sexuality at an early
age helps create the foundation for when they enter the teenage years and are
faced with having to make decisions about sexual behaviour.
Take advantage of teachable moments. A TV show, a song, or a friend’s pregnancy
can all provide opportunities to discuss sexuality. (See “Communication Starters” and
“Sex On TV – What’s a Parent to Do?” in the “SUPPORTING RESOURCES FOR
PARENTS” section of this Handbook.)
Some children openly ask questions and raise concerns, others are quieter. This
doesn’t mean they aren’t thinking about sexuality. You may need to initiate the
conversation, using teachable moments.
Just because your child is asking about sex doesn’t mean they are thinking about
having sex. Don’t jump to conclusions. Be grateful for the opportunity to discuss
your thoughts and values on this issue with them. Reassure them that they are
normal, and reinforce their willingness to come to you with such an important topic.
(An informal survey by the Calgary Health Region recently found that 92% of
Calgary adolescents turn to a friend for information about sex, with only 20% going
to a parent. Calgary Health Region, 2004)
Young people want to know how to ‘do’ relationship. Questions about sex should be
answered within the context of the purpose and role of sex in the larger context of
relationships. Sex has more than a biological purpose for human beings, and young
people need to learn how to be appropriately intimate with others.
Let your children know what you think, and what standards of behaviour are all right
in your house. It is also important to let them know what is socially
appropriate/inappropriate, and what to do if they have difficulties or questions. As
Human Sexuality - Grades 7/8/9 - Parent Handbook
18
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children mature it is also important to help them understand that other people’s
standards may be different from theirs.
Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know” or to let your child know that you’re
embarrassed. You can say, “I feel a little uncomfortable, but this is important to talk
about. Let’s find out some answers together.” Consult trusted, reliable sources for
accurate information.
Know that you can’t control the decisions your child makes. This can be difficult for
parents, but anger and threats don’t work. We can let our children know we don’t
approve of their actions, but we love them and would never abandon them.
Continue to build your relationship with your child. Spend time with them.
Remember to hug them daily. Let them know you’re there for them and that you
know that the teenage years can be really tough on people. Young people who
have the greatest resiliency to negative influences are those who have at least one
caring adult in their lives.
Don’t be afraid to laugh with (never at) your child. This topic doesn’t have to be so
serious that you can’t enjoy your conversations together.
Don’t forget to stay connected with the source of all life and love. Pray for wisdom,
patience, and humour as you embrace your important role of primary educator of
your children.
GRADE 8
Grade 8 Outcome:
The student will explore and be respectful of the unique development
of self and others in the areas of the human body, emotions,
sexuality, sexual attraction and sexual orientation, spirituality, and
social development.
The student will explore our Christian call to uphold the dignity of the
human person.
The student will recognize the signs, methods, and consequences of
various types of abuse; e.g. neglect emotional, physical, sexual
abuse.
The student will explore our Christian understanding of human beings
as being relational.
The student will identify and describe, from a Catholic perspective,
the responsibilities and consequences associated with a sexual
relationship.
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The student will describe symptoms, effects, treatments, prevention
for common sexually transmitted infections - Chlamydia, HPV (genital
warts), Herpes, Gonorrhoea, Hepatitis B/C; HIV, AIDS.
The student will identify contraception technologies and critique the
contraceptive mentality from the viewpoint of our Catholic tradition.
The student will explore our Catholic teaching regarding our
openness to life within marriage.
The student will understand the need for following basic rules of
online safety, and will know how to deal with online bullying.
Catechetical Focus:
 As Christians, we appreciate our uniqueness, demonstrate sensitivity towards
others, and understand that each person is worthy of love and respect.
 We discern what is good and right for a healthy lifestyle through prayer, Church
teachings, personal reflection, and the wise counsel of others.
 Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit.
 Chastity and holiness are virtues of great value. Everyone is called to and capable
of living a chaste life.
 Contraception technology is contrary to Catholic moral teaching, which only
promotes abstinence and Natural Family Planning methods.
 Human life begins at the moment of conception, and must be respected and
protected.
 Abortion is the killing of an innocent life.
Note to the Catechist:
At this age the student’s sexual identity is in its formative stage. Not all students
develop at the same rate. Great sensitivity should be instilled within the students not to
be judgmental about the various rates at which their peers are developing physically.
The development of the body is a beautiful occurrence that unfolds in its own good time;
each at his or her own unique rate. No one should ever feel they are abnormal or that
something is wrong with them because their personal rate of development is not the
same as their peers. How I develop, in my good time, is God’s unique way of
continuing his creative work in me.
It is only natural to be curious about how we develop physically. This curiosity is very
often exploited by those in society that produce and sell pornographic material. The
Church reminds us that pornography offends against chastity because it perverts the
intimate sexual union of marriage and puts in on display for third parties. All who
partake in it, as actors, vendors or those who consume it do grave injury to their
personal dignity. Pornography reduces persons into objects of both lust and profit.
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Sexual abuse includes sexual exploitation, sexual interference, invitation to sexual
touching, exposure and sexual assault. Sexual exploitation is the improper use of
another person for one’s own sexual purposes. Sexual interference is the touching of
any part of a child under the age of 14 for sexual purposes. An invitation to sexual
touching is making an invitation to a child under the age of 14 to touch the one making
the invitation for sexual purposes. Exposure is exposing genital organs to someone for
sexual purposes. Sexual assault is sexual activity that occurs without the consent of
another. It often happens with the threat of physical force.
The possible risks of sexual activity are: pregnancy, contraction of a sexually
transmitted disease, decreased self-respect, losing friends, and scarred emotions
(loneliness, heartache, and unwillingness to trust).
Some of the consequences of pregnancy are: increased likelihood of not continuing
education, being at a lower socio-economic level, increased risk of health and
developmental problems in the baby, lack of social activity.
When choosing to be sexually active, a person is responsible to the sexual partner,
future sexual partners, future spouse, family, friends, possible children, and self.
Sexually transmitted diseases are communicable diseases that are spread from one
person to another through sexual contact or intercourse.
Herpes Simplex Virus can appear as sores in and around the mouth (Type I) and as
sores on the genitals (Type II). Both types are capable of causing herpes infection on
or around the mouth, or on the genitals through oral genital contact. This is a very
common occurrence among teens today.
“Called to give life, spouses share in the creative power and fatherhood of God.
Married couples should regard it as their proper mission to transmit human life and to
educate their children; they should realize that they are thereby cooperating with the
love of God the Creator and are, in a certain sense, its interpreters. They will fulfill this
duty with a sense of human and Christian responsibility.” (Catechism of the Catholic
Church, 2367)
“Periodic continence, that is, the methods of birth regulation based on self-observation
and the use of infertile periods, is in conformity with the objective criteria of morality.”
(Humanae Vitae, 16.3)
The methods of Natural Family Planning espoused by the Church “respect the bodies of
the spouses, encourage tenderness between them, and favour the education of an
authentic freedom…every action which, whether in anticipation of the conjugal act, or in
its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes,
whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible is intrinsically evil.”
(Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2370)
Scripture References:
 Psalm 139: 13-15
 Genesis 1: 27-31
 Genesis 2: 18-25
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Genesis 17: 15-16
1 Corinthians 6: 19
1 Corinthians 12: 12-26
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8
Ephesians 4: 17-24
John 17: 21
John 14: 26-27
Sirach 6: 33
Isaiah 11: 2
Ecclesiastes &: 11-12
Luke 1: 38
Deuteronomy 30: 15-20
Catechism of the Catholic Church References:
 #355-357
 #369
 #2354, 2356
 #2333
 #1701, 1706
 #1930-1931
 #371-372
 #1731
 #1786-1787
 #2337
 #2347
 #1830-1831
 #2378
Commentary on these passages of the Catechism of the Catholic Church:
Human beings are unique in God’s creation. Created as male and female, we are
unique. We accept our sexuality as a gift and respect all people in their uniqueness as
all people are a creation of God and thus have dignity.
When our actions become “Christ Like” we start to live life to the fullest. Our lives are
no longer just an “existence”; they take on the nature of being a “Vocation”, meaning
they become an answer to an inner “Call”. Living out a Call gives ultimate meaning and
purpose to our life and also graces us with the strength to persevere during times of trial
and tribulation.
The glory of being human lies in the fact that we are free beings who can make real
choices about who we will become and how we will live out our lives by the choices we
make. Life giving choices are the fruit of a communal effort. The “other person” in our
life acts as a sounding board, a gage by which we can measure our own actions and
the direction we are taking.
The word ‘disciple’ comes from the word ‘discipline’. It takes much self-discipline to be
a faithful disciple. Chastity is a learned and acquired discipline that over time, when
practices faithfully can become a virtue that bears wonderful fruit in our friendships with
others.
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Human beings are never to be treated as objects, rather always as subjects. We
cannot be owned, controlled, or possessed by others. To use another person as an
object of self interest goes against the very nature of our humanity. Relationships
blossom to their fullest potential within mutually respectful encounters.
Recommended Resources:
 Video: “Teen Sex: Challenges & Decisions” by Dr. Stephen Genuis
 Other relevant, District-approved videos from the Calgary Catholic School District
Instructional Materials Centre
 Catholic Youth Update: “STDs: A Life and Death Issue”, by Susan Bines-Brigger
 Calgary Catholic School District document: “Child Abuse Domestic Violence
Protocol”
Grade 8 Student Handout:
Sexual Attraction
You are at an age now where it will start to feel more comfortable to be around the opposite sex.
It may not seem as odd anymore, to have both male and female friends. In fact it’s great to have
friends of both sexes who share our interests and activities.
During puberty, we know that the reproductive system releases hormones. These hormones
cause a chemical reaction called sexual attraction. Sexual attraction means that we see
someone as appealing because of his or her physical looks and gender.
Sexual attraction can be a strong feeling and it is important for us as teenagers to learn how to
handle it appropriately. When we were younger, we learned how to manage our anger and hurt,
now we must also learn how to handle what we call: sexual attraction.
Although we cannot control whom we are sexually attracted to, we can however, control how we
respond to that attraction. We are not meant to act on every feeling of attraction. Being attracted
sexually to someone may make us feel like we want to become sexually active with that person.
Yet, it is very important to remember that sexual activity is a precious gift that we, as Christians
want to save for the person whom we will to commit ourselves to for life, in a union called marriage.
It is not easy to resist becoming sexually active, until we are in a committed married relationship.
However, with God’s grace and our will power we can make this choice and feel really good about
it too!
Some of the tried and true ways to resist becoming sexually active is to get involved in group
activities and projects with lots of friends, like sports, youth groups, hobbies, or volunteering. Not
becoming sexually active before marriage, for the Christian is the “only way to go”! If you can
save the gift of your sexual expression until the day when you give yourself completely to the one
you will love for life, this will be one of most precious days of your life! And just think how much
more precious it will be since you saved it for this moment! Your wedding day will then truly
become the day when you give yourselves to one another in a way that you have never given
yourself to anyone else before. It will be the day you will never forget!
Read the following stories. Provide some advice to the people who are dealing with these
situations.
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Jack and Sydney have been friends for a long time. They are neighbours and they have played
on the same community soccer team for many years. Lately, their feelings seems to have taken
on a character that goes beyond their childhood friendship. They are enjoying the new feelings,
Sydney is trying to push the relationship into an exclusive boyfriend and girlfriend one. Jack is
afraid to tell Sydney that he isn’t ready for that kind of relationship because he doesn’t want to
ruin the friendship they have shared for many years.
Mark and some of his friends hang out at the mall after school. Sometimes they call out to the
girls, from school, as they walk by. At times, their remarks can be are pretty mean and degrading.
Mark is feeling really uncomfortable and he doesn’t want to participate in this activity anymore.
He is afraid that his friends will think he is too immature, and they will start to pick on him.
John is a grade 9 student and really enjoys his sports with the guys. He likes girls but is not really
interested in the “dating game”, yet. He very much prefers to continue investing much of his time
with his long time buddies and the fun they have in their sports activities. Many of his friends
have a girl friend and are putting a bit of pressure on John to get a girl friend too.
One day after school, Sam and his friend Kyle decided to go to the Community Centre to shoot
some baskets together. After a good workout they went to Kyle’s for a pop. While they were
drinking their pop, Kyle asked Sam if he wanted to see some very “hot" pictures from a Playboy
magazine he had in his room.
Grade 8 Student Handout:
Respect and Making Decisions
Two types of respect are important in making decisions about sexual activity: self-respect and
respect for others. Respect is the quality of showing consideration; that you care what effect your
choices will have on others.
Having self-respect means that you like the person you are and you choose things that will make
you safe and healthy. If you have self-respect, you will feel valuable as a person. You will know
what you want in life and you will know how to handle the problems that may crop up in your life.
You will do the tasks that you are responsible for because you recognize the gifts and skills you
have, and you can be proud of what you can accomplish. This doesn’t mean you are conceited
or perfect, instead it means that you believe in yourself and you try to be the best person you can
be.
Those who respect themselves and others are less likely to take advantage of others or to let
others take advantage of them.
Respecting others means that you care for the persons they are; you want to keep them safe and
healthy, too. If you have respect for others, you will see them as worthy and important. You
believe in others’ abilities and you refuse to stand in the way of them becoming the best they can
be. Indeed, when you respect others, you help others grow.
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Discuss the following statements in small groups. Explain the meaning of each statement, and,
if possible, provide an example. Share your responses with the entire class.
“You have to like yourself before you can really like someone else.”
“When you feel good about yourself, getting along with others is easier.”
“Love others as God loves us.”
“It hurts when a friend you treat with respect doesn’t give you respect in return.”
Someone who respects you…
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cares about the limits you set for yourself and
the relationship.
treats you with dignity.
communicates clearly and honestly with you.
listens to you.
regards how you feel.
will not invade your privacy.
accepts you.
Someone who does not respect you…

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
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

ignores what you say.
pretends not to hear you.
teases you about something you’re sensitive
about.
gets mad when you don’t do what he or she
wants you to do.
uses violence to get his or her way.
touches you when you don’t want to be
touched.
embarrasses you in front of others.
Human Sexuality - Grades 7/8/9 - Parent Handbook
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Grade 8 Student Handout:
Making Choices for You
Chastity is an attitude. It is the attitude that you believe in yourself and in your power to make
good decisions for your life. You value yourself as a special gift from God; you truly respect
yourself.
To be chaste is to present yourself to others in a confident and modest manner. Your manner of
dress, speech, and action displays the respect you have for yourself and others. Chastity
demonstrates that you are responsible for what you choose and that you want to get the most out
of life. Chastity gives you the energy and freedom to do all the things you want in your life, like
have fun with friends, travel, get an education, and so on.
Abstinence is an appropriate choice for a chaste lifestyle. Abstaining from activities that could
hurt you allows you the freedom of living your life fully, without fear. If you choose to abstain from
sexual activity, you will come to a committed relationship with a pure heart. You will be able to
give your marriage partner love that is true, real, and lasting.
The greatest gift you can give to another person is the gift of yourself. Protect yourself and your
dreams through abstinence; until you are in a committed married relationship with someone you
trust will be faithful to and respecting of you.
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Grade 8 Student Handout:
Sexually Transmitted Infections Fact Sheet
Chlamydia
•
•
•
•
•
•
The most common STI caused by
bacteria.
It is acquired through sexual contact or
intercourse.
Many will not experience any symptoms;
therefore, serious complications can
occur before there is knowledge of
having the disease.
The symptoms in a male are likely to be
a discharge from the penis and pain
during urination.
In females, the
symptoms may include abnormal vaginal
discharge, abdominal pain, and irregular
menstruation.
If left untreated, females may be unable
to have children.
Antibiotics are used to cure Chlamydia.
•
•
Genital Warts
•
•
•
•
Crabs (Pubic Lice) or Scabies
•
•
•
•
•
Tiny insects infest the genital area and
cause painful itching.
Both insects are spread through skin-toskin contact and sexual contact with an
infected person.
Pubic lice can also be spread through
sharing infested bedding, clothes, or
towels.
Pubic lice attach to the pubic hair and
feed on blood. Scabies burrow under the
skin in the genital area.
Both insects can be cured with
medicated shampoos or creams.
Genital Herpes
•
•
•
A virus causes this STI.
Blister-like bumps appear in the genital
area and are painful and itchy. Other
symptoms include fever, and pain during
urination.
The disease can be passed on to another
with or without the presence of the sores.
Human Sexuality - Grades 7/8/9 - Parent Handbook
The virus remains in the body, even after
the symptoms disappear. The symptoms
usually reoccur repeatedly.
There is no cure for this disease. There
are only medications to help treat the
symptoms.
•
•
This is the most common viral STI.
These are small growths or bumps that
grow in the genital area.
They are caused by the human papilloma
virus (HPV), and they are spread through
skin-to-skin contact and sexual contact.
A person may not realize that infection
has occurred. It may take a long time for
the warts to appear, but the infected
person may share the disease without
the presence of bumps.
There is no cure for this disease, only
treatments.
There is a link between genital warts and
cervical cancer.
Gonorrhea
•
•
•
•
The bacteria that causes Gonorrhea lives
in the male’s penis and in the female’s
vagina.
It may be passed through sexual contact
or intercourse. A mother may pass the
disease to her baby during birth, causing
eye infection.
The symptoms in males are similar to
those of Chlamydia. The symptoms in
females mimic Chlamydia along with
swelling, itching, or pain in the genital
area.
If it is diagnosed early, it can be cured
with antibiotics, but if it is left untreated,
the disease may spread in the body and
27
cause sterility, and possible damage to
organs.
Hepatitis B
•
•
•
•
•
This virus can be passed through the
exchange of blood and body fluids,
through sexual contact, and from a
mother to her baby.
The virus attacks the liver.
The symptoms are similar to the flu:
fatigue, nausea, and lack of appetite.
Most people will recover from Hepatitis B
and will not have any long-term
problems. Some will become chronic
carriers and they may suffer from cancer
of the liver.
There is a vaccine available. Most
children are immunized when they are
11.
HIV/AIDS
•
•
•
•
•
•
AIDS is caused by the human
immunodeficiency virus (HIV). Acquired
immune deficiency syndrome is a deadly
disease that destroys the body’s immune
system, thus, the body cannot fight
infection.
Many teens become infected with HIV
and the disease develops into AIDS
when they are in their twenties.
HIV is contracted through the exchange
of blood and body fluids, sexual contact,
or from infected mother to baby.
Some infected with HIV will have no
symptoms, but they are still infectious.
Others will experience flu-like symptoms:
fatigue, fever, weight loss, cough,
diarrhea, and swollen glands. These
symptoms may last for months.
Since the HIV damages the immune
system, the person is more apt to catch
infections.
These
are
called
opportunistic diseases.
When this
begins to happen, the disease is
classified as AIDS. It is an opportunistic
disease that will kill the person with AIDS.
There is no cure for AIDS.
•
•
•
•
Bacteria cause this STI.
It is passed through sexual contact or
from mother to baby.
The symptoms appear in three stages. In
the first stage a painless red sore or
sores will develop in the genital area.
These sores will disappear and the
disease will progress to the next stage.
During the second stage, a rash will
appear anywhere on the body. The rash
usually turns into blister-like sores.
Finally, after two or more years, the
disease may attack the heart, the blood
vessels, or the nervous system. Syphilis
can lead to death.
If the disease is treated during the first
two stages, it can be cured with
antibiotics.
STIs cannot be contracted through casual
touch, like hugging or holding hands.
Public toilets do not transfer the bacteria
or viruses associated with STIs.
Syphilis
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Grade 8 Student Handout:
Teen Sexual Activity – Contraception Vs Chastity
RISK
PROTECTED BY
CONTRACEPTION?
(none, some, a lot)
PROTECTED BY
CHASTITY?
(none, some, a lot)
BEST CHOICE
Contraception
or Chastity?
Sexually Transmitted
Infections
Pregnancy
Pregnancy Panic
Loss of Reputation
Ruined Relationships,
Break-up
Conflict with Parents
Sin, Guilt, Shame
Weakened
Relationship with God
Emotional Upheaval
Preoccupation,
Distraction
Loss of self-respect
and moral standards
Having to make adult
decisions
Devaluing of sexual
experience
Jeopardy to future
married happiness
29
Grade 8 Student Handout:
CONTRACEPTION & CATHOLIC TEACHING
METHOD
BARRIER
CHEMICAL
HORMONAL
PERMANENT
PREVENTING
IMPLANTATION
EXAMPLES
HOW THEY WORK
These methods act as blocks between
the sperm and the egg.
Chemicals in a spermicidal agent work by
killing or inactivating sperm.
Hormone levels are regulated to prevent
a woman from ovulating. Some hormonal
methods also cause changes in the
uterus so that in the event of a
conception, the baby cannot implant in
the uterus. This causes an abortion.
Sterilization involves surgery to make a
person incapable of reproducing.
These methods prevent the fertilized egg
from implanting in the uterus, effectively
causing an abortion.
Sex is a sacred gift from God, to be shared between a husband and a wife in that life-long
committed relationship called marriage. Sexual intercourse in marriage is valued as the
way that couples can grow in love for each other and bring children into a family that can
care for them. It has life-giving and love-giving power when given unselfishly to one’s
spouse.
Sex should never be about ‘what I can get from it’. It’s about opening oneself up
completely and unselfishly to the other and to the wonders this gift brings. It is so
powerful a gift that we have the ability, through this bond with another person, to create
another human being. This is God-like. What an awesome responsibility this gift brings!
Use of contraception interferes with this gift – a closing of the door to what this gift is
about, diminishing it to less than what is intended.
Sex, however, is not the end-all, be-all. Sex can be an expression and celebration of
love within a married relationship, but that love is not dependent on sex. Many married
couples experience times in their relationship when they don’t have sex. This does not
mean they don’t love each other; in fact, it may be just the opposite. These couples
recognize the sacred gift that sex is and the potential for creating another human being.
With great respect for this gift and for each other, they follow the natural signs of the
woman’s fertility cycle. When they decide it’s not the best time for them to have a child
they choose not to have sexual intercourse in that time of her cycle when it is most likely
she will get pregnant. Our Church supports these methods (i.e. “Billings”, “Serena”, etc.)
for married couples as they respect God’s gift of fertility and work cooperatively with it.
30
Tips for Parents of Grade 8 Students:

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
See Tips for Parents of Grade 7 Students.
The Grade 8 human sexuality curriculum focuses on some key topics: review of
puberty & the reproductive systems, abuse, chastity & decision-making, sexual
attraction and sexual orientation, sexually transmitted diseases, and the Catholic
perspective on contraception. For your own background information, see the Grade
8 Student Handouts provided, and the last section of this Handbook – Supporting
Resources for Parents.
The Calgary Catholic Diocesan Resource Library is located at 120 17 Avenue S.W.
(phone 218-5500). There are a number of excellent resources on sexuality available
for loan to parents.
Some of the following resources may be particularly useful to parents in talking to
their teens about sexuality from a Catholic perspective. All these titles are available
from Family Honor, Inc. (http://www.familyhonor.org). (See the complete
bibliographic information on each title in the last section of this Handbook.)
o Our Power to Love – God’s Gift of Our Sexuality (Revised 2000) by Dr. Ruth
Taylor, Ann Nerbun, & Fr. Richard Hogan
o Beyond the Birds and the Bees (2001) by Gregory Popcak
o Sex and Chastity: What’s a Parent to Say? (1999)
Also, available from www.sorinbooks.com:
o Because We Love Them – Fostering a Christian Sexuality in Our Children
(2004) by Sheree Whitters Havlik
GRADE 9
Grade 9 Outcomes:
The student will explore ways of coping with ones unique and diverse
growth: physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual, and social.
The student will critique the myth of “safer sex practices”.
The student will explore our Catholic teaching that human life must be
respected and protected from the moment of conception.
The student will identify the responsibilities and sources of support
associated with pregnancy and parenting.
The student will examine chastity as the responsible choice in
determining sexual behavior and explore Catholic teaching regarding
healthy relationships, sexual attraction, and sexual orientation.
31
The student will develop strategies to help prevent or reduce sexual
risk; e.g. abstain from drugs and alcohol, date in groups, use assertive
behaviour.
The student will identify what constitutes sexual assault and explore
the sources of support for the victims.
Catechetical Focus:
 We marvel at the complexity of the human body and how God has created its parts to
work as a whole.
 We accept that we are made in the image and likeness of God.
 We are called to respect the dignity and needs of others.
 We are called to make life-giving choices.
 We discern what is good and right for a healthy lifestyle through prayer, Church
teachings, personal reflection, and the wise counsel of others.
 Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit.
 Chastity and purity are virtues of great value.
 Everyone is called to and capable of living a chaste life.
 Contraceptive technology and the mentality that condones it are contrary to Catholic
moral teaching, which only promotes Natural Family Planning.
 Abortion is the killing of an innocent human life.
Note to the Catechist:
Developmental tasks during adolescence: form mature relationships with peers and of
both genders; accepting one’s body; gaining emotional independence from parents and
other adults; preparing for marriage, family, and career; developing a personal set of
values and beliefs to guide behaviour; developing social awareness – understanding
others’ needs and helping others to achieve goals.
Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual contact from sexual exploitation to sexual
intercourse. It is a crime of violence. The likely purpose of the abuser is not to gratify
sexual urges; rather it is to have control or power over his or her victim. The victim of
sexual assault is never to blame; the victim never “asks for it”.
The possible risks of sexual activity are: pregnancy, contraction of a sexually
transmitted disease, decreased self-respect, losing friends, and scarred emotional
health. Some of the consequences of pregnancy are: increased likelihood of not
continuing education, being at a lower socio-economic level, increased risk of health and
developmental problems in the baby, lack of social activity.
Inaccurate information may include myths such as, “Being sexually active shows that
you are more mature,” “Once I become sexually active, I will have to continue being
sexually active,” or “Sexual activity will make a boyfriend or girlfriend love me more.”
Christians hold that sexual activity is a gift to husbands and wives within a marriage.
Sexual intercourse has a twofold purpose: deepening the love and commitment between
the couple and being open to the creation of new life. Our Catholic tradition does not
32
condone the use of contraceptive technology because it interferes with the purpose of
sexual intercourse as being open to life.
The following quotes are taken from The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality; The
Pontifical Council for the Family. “…reject the promotion of so-called safe sex or safer
sex, a dangerous and immoral policy based on the deluded theory that the condom can
provide adequate protection against AIDS. Parents must insist on continence outside
marriage and fidelity in marriage as the only true and secure education for the
prevention of this contagious disease.” (139)
“Since each child or young person must be able to live his or her own sexuality in
conformity with Christian principles, and hence be able to exercise the virtue of chastity,
no educator – not even parents – can interfere with this right to chastity (Cf. Matthew
18:4-7)” (118)
Scripture References:
 Psalm 139: 13-16
 Genesis 1: 27-31
 Matthew 7: 7-11
 James 5: 7-11
 1 Corinthians 12: 12-16
 Daniel 13
 Galatians 5: 13-26
 Philippians 4: 4-9
 1 Thessalonians 4: 3-7
 Sirach 6: 33
 1 Corinthians 6: 14
 Luke 1: 41
 Isaiah 49: 1
 1 Peter 3: 8
 2 Peter 1: 3-8
 Deuteronomy 30: 15
Catechism of the Catholic Church References:
 #2333
 #1704
 #2356
 #2270
 #2209
 #2337
 #2274
 #1931
 #2290 – 2291
 #1784 – 1785
(These passages highlight the need for each of us to accept ourselves fully. Only
through this acknowledgment of our self can we move beyond our own needs and
33
desires and respond generously to the other. In the end, we are to seek and love what
is true and good.
Society has a responsibility to appropriately support individuals and families who are in
need. Our call to work for justice as a faith community is a call to work for the common
good. It is how we treat our weakest that tells us how civilized we have become.
Chastity is an integration of the whole person and the integrality of the gift. Inner peace
is the result of living a chaste life. Being aware of the consequences of sex outside of
marriage gives us the ability to reflect and choose the virtue of prudence in our
relationships. Our tradition teaches us a lifestyle that leads to a full and happy life.
It is important to live fully through the ongoing formation of our conscience. With the
help of God’s Word, the Church’s teachings, and good friends, we can grow in wisdom
and develop the virtues that give dignity to both ourselves and the community.)
Recommended Resources:
 Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops: Be With Me (Grade 9 Religious Education
Program text)
 A number of District-approved videos on these outcomes are available for teacher
use through the District Instructional Materials Centre.
Grade 9 Student Handout
The Only Safer Sex is No Sex
There has been a great deal of attention paid lately to the idea of "safer sex." This means that it
could be all right to engage in sexual activity as long as the partners are using contraceptives.
Safer sex is supposed to give some protection from pregnancy and STDs, but, in reality, it offers
limited protection from these and absolutely no protection from the emotional problems that result
from sexual activity outside of a committed married relationship.
Until someone is in a committed married relationship, the only means of safe sex is not engaging
in any sexual activity. Abstinence is the decision to refrain from engaging in sexual activity. It is
a responsible, life-giving choice, because it allows maximum protection from all the harmful
consequences that sexual activity outside of marriage may bring about.
Abstinence is 100% risk free.
transmitted disease.
There is no danger of pregnancy or contracting a sexually
It is important to remember that abstinence is a choice. Making the choice takes planning. A
person will need to plan what he or she really wants in the future, and what he or she most values.
If someone has a vision in view and the determination to see it through, choosing abstinence will
be easy.
Anyone can make the choice of abstinence. Even if someone has chosen at one time to engage
in sexual activity, it is never too late to choose abstinence.
There may be many pressures along the way that might entice someone to engage in sexual
activity, but it is important to respect, trust, and remain responsible. It is important for a person to
respect one’s partner and one’s self enough to set limits and not compromise them. A person
must trust that if there is too much pressure to become sexually active, that he or she will have
the courage to say no. Finally, a person needs to remain responsible and avoid situations where
34
the risk of sexual activity is high. Some high-risk situations include being alone with a date, dating
someone who has not chosen abstinence, and using drugs or alcohol.
Understanding the importance of abstinence and making a personal commitment to be abstinent
is such a healthy choice for people before marriage. Be sure to communicate that decision with
friends and any dating partners.
Make an Abstinence Plan
•
•
•
•
•
Establish your priorities in life. Know what is most important
to you, and what you want out of life.
Set personal limits. Know how you want to show affection for
your dating partners.
Share your decision to remain abstinent with your friends and
dating partners.
Avoid risky dating situations.
Understand why you want to choose abstinence.
Grade 9 Student Handout
CHOOSING LIFE
Every human life is good. Because we come from God and return to God we are filled with dignity.
We share in God’s breath of life from the beginning of conception. Because God is the only Lord
of this life, we cannot do with it as we will. Human life is in the hands of God.
Yes, life is always good. Does my attitude reflect God’s goodness too?
On God’s Commandment: “You Shall Not Murder”
Evangelium Vitae
1. Human life is sacred because from its beginning it involves the creative action of God, and
it remains forever in a special relationship with the Creator.
2. The commandment can be summed up in this phrase: “You shall love your neighbour as
yourself.”
3. In giving life to us, God demands that we love, respect and promote life. The gift thus
becomes a commandment, and the commandment is itself a gift.
4. This should not cause surprise: to kill a human being, in whom the image of God is present,
is a particularly serious sin. Only God is the author of life!
Grade 9 Student Handout/Review of Grade 8
CONTRACEPTION & CATHOLIC TEACHING
METHOD
BARRIER
EXAMPLES
HOW THEY WORK
These methods act as blocks between
the sperm and the egg.
35
Chemicals in a spermicidal agent work by
killing or inactivating sperm.
Hormone levels are regulated to prevent
a woman from ovulating. Some hormonal
methods also cause changes in the
uterus so that in the event of a
conception, the baby cannot implant in
the uterus. This causes an abortion.
Sterilization involves surgery to make a
person incapable of reproducing.
These methods prevent the fertilized egg
from implanting in the uterus, effectively
causing an abortion.
CHEMICAL
HORMONAL
PERMANENT
PREVENTING
IMPLANTATION
Sex is a sacred gift from God, to be shared between a husband and a wife in that lifelong committed relationship called marriage. Sexual intercourse in marriage is valued as
the way that couples can grow in love for each other and bring children into a family that
can care for them. It has life-giving and love-giving power when given unselfishly to
one’s spouse.
Sex should never be about ‘what I can get from it’. It’s about opening oneself up
completely and unselfishly to the other and to the wonders this gift brings. It is so
powerful a gift that we have the ability, through this bond with another person, to create
another human being. This is God-like. What an awesome responsibility this gift brings!
Use of contraception interferes with this gift – a closing of the door to what this gift is
about, diminishing it to less than what is intended.
Sex, however, is not the end-all, be-all. Sex can be an expression and celebration of
love within a married relationship, but that love is not dependent on sex. Many married
couples experience times in their relationship when they don’t have sex. This does not
mean they don’t love each other; in fact, it may be just the opposite. These couples
recognize the sacred gift that sex is and the potential for creating another human being.
With great respect for this gift and for each other, they follow the natural signs of the
woman’s fertility cycle. When they decide it’s not the best time for them to have a child
they choose not to have sexual intercourse in that time of her cycle when it is most likely
she will get pregnant. Our Church supports these methods (i.e. “Billings”, “Serena”, etc.)
for married couples as they respect God’s gift of fertility and work cooperatively with it.
Grade 9 Student Handout
Avoiding the Risks of Date Rape
In the last few years, date rape has been given a lot of attention. It is important to be familiar with
the potential risks associated with dating. How can we keep our dating fun, healthy and safe?
If we take the time to plan and make responsible decisions, we may be more apt to be in control
of ourselves in intense situations.
36
We should only date those people whom we know. We should become friends with someone
before we agree to go out alone with that person. Make sure your family has met the person you
want to date and they know where you are going and when you are expected to be home.
If at any time during the date you feel uncomfortable, get out of the situation quickly. It is always
a good idea to date in places where there are other people around, just in case you need help.
Decide what your limits regarding sexual activity are before you go on a date with anyone. It’s
O.K. to consider your relationship with God when trying to work out where to set your limits. Be
sure you know when enough is enough. It is your right to set limits and to say no when you feel
that things are getting out of hand. If your date respects you, then they will show you that respect
by listening to you and following the boundaries you set.
Be certain to clearly communicate your limits to your date. Do this early on, so that there are no
unreasonable expectations. If there is pressure being applied by your date to engage in sexual
activity; say “no” firmly, politely, and positively. Act immediately; don’t let the pressure continue
because it will most likely get harder to set your limits.
Send the message that you really mean to. Let your date know your expectations of the
relationship and consistently send that message by dressing, talking and acting modestly.
If your date sets limits, understand those limits. Know that “no” means “no,” no matter how it is
said.
Avoid the use of alcohol and drugs because they can impair your judgment. You may not be able
to stick by your decisions if you aren’t thinking clearly, allowing someone else to take advantage
of you. Someone may try to slip a drug or alcohol into your drink without you being aware. Be
attentive. A clear head will always help you be true to yourself and your decisions.
It is most important to show respect for yourself when you are on a date and to expect your date
to do the same. This is perhaps the best way to show your date how much you care for them. In
the end, when we go out with someone, we are called by God to out with the whole person…
including their humour, their beauty and their faith.
37
Tips for Parents of Grade 9 Students:



See Tips for Parents of Grade 7 & 8 Students
This unit is integrated with The Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops Grade 9
textbook, “Be With Me”, Unit 4, “Be Loving”. In this section, the value of chastity is
taught from the Church’s perspective. A university campus chaplain tells the stories
of three students he worked with and how they found ways to relate the Church’s
teachings to their lives. One story is of Alan, a young man who has a homosexual
orientation. This provides an opportunity to learn our Church’s teachings regarding
homosexuality, chastity, and the need for compassion and understanding of those
challenged by a different sexual orientation.
For their own background information, parents may wish to consult the following
resources:
o Catechism of the Catholic Church (#2357 – 2359)
o “A Resource For An Inclusive Community - A Teacher's Guide For and About
Persons With Same Sex Attractions”. Available on the Alberta Catholic Trustees
Association Website: http://www.acsta.ab.ca/resources/inclusive.htm
o “Always Our Children – A Pastoral Message to Parents of Homosexual Children
and Suggestions for Pastoral Ministers” (A Statement of the Bishops’ Committee
on Marriage and Family by the National Conference of Catholic Bishops)
o “Marriage Matters” by the Catholic Organization for Life and Family
The Grade 9 Human Sexuality curriculum also helps students develop strategies to
prevent or reduce risk of date rape and sexual assault. Parents can help their teens
by talking about the early signs of dating violence and abusive relationships. See the
last section of this Handbook, “Supporting Resources for Parents”, for the discussion
and information sheets “Violence – You Can Make a Difference”.
38
Appendix A
STUDENT EXEMPTION UNDER SECTION 50.1(2) OF THE
SCHOOL ACT
TO: Principal/Teacher of
[identify school], of
[identify school board].
In response to the notice provided to me by my child’s school
[name of School] of
the
[name of school board] dated
[date of notice] indicating that instruction, course of study,
or educational program in which my child is enrolled, or use of instructional
materials in a course of study or educational program in which my child is enrolled,
includes subject matter that deals primarily and explicitly with [specify
sexuality], I,
human
[name of parent/legal
guardian], in accordance with section 50.1(2) of the School Act, hereby request
that my child,
[name
of
child]
be
excluded from the instruction, course of study, educational program or use of
instructional materials identified in the notice.
I request that my child: (check relevant box)
Leave the classroom or place where the instruction is taking
place or where the instructional material is being used for the
duration of that part of the instruction.
OR
39
B) Remain in the classroom or place where the instruction
is taking place without taking part in the instruction or use of
instructional material.
I confirm that I am the legal guardian of
[name of child] and
have chosen to exercise my option to have my child excluded
from the instruction described in the notice from
School [name of school] on
the dates indicated in the notice. I also confirm that it is my obligation
to ensure that this form is returned to the school principal/teacher on
or before the date of the instruction indicated in the notice. The child to
whom this exemption notice applies is:
[name
of child]
Grade:
Parent/Legal Guardian Date
Human Sexuality – Grades 7/8/9 – Parent Handbook
40
SUPPORTING RESOURCES
FOR
PARENTS
Human Sexuality – Grades 7/8/9 – Parent Handbook
41
Social & Sexual Development in Children & Adolescents
The following information is a guideline for what to expect as children develop
socially and sexually, and provides tips for parents and caregivers to promote
healthy social and sexual development.
It is important to understand there is a wide range of normal when it comes to
development. Although all children progress through the developmental stages
following the same pattern, some children progress through them at a slower rate
whereas others progress through them at a faster rate.
Stages of Social and Sexual
Development in Children and
Adolescents
Tips and Strategies for Parents
and Caregivers

During infancy, healthy human sexual
development is nurtured through the
sense of touch, during rocking,
feeding, and being held.

The love and warmth a baby feels
helps him or her to develop trust and
the ability to give and receive
tenderness and affection in later life.

Toddlers are curious about their own
bodies and they begin to assert
themselves socially.

Often parents are embarrassed by
their children’s curiosity with their
genitals but parents can gently
redirect their children’s attention.
Help your child learn to appropriately
express emotions and self control by
modeling and gently setting limits.


During the early childhood years
children begin to learn about how
people interact with each other by
watching what happens between the
people closest to them. Later on, their
behaviours may reflect what has been
modelled for them.

Human Sexuality – Grades 7/8/9 – Parent Handbook
Families express affection differently.
In some homes, people choose to
behave more formally with each other,
while in others affection is freely
shown with hugs and kisses. Be aware
that these interactions are lessons
your children are learning about how
adults behave in close and personal
relationships.
42

In the pre-school and early school
years, children generally begin to ask
more questions and become more
curious about the body differences of
playmates of the opposite gender.
Children understand what it means to
be male or female and begin to form
ideas about gender roles.






Through the early school years
children generally favour a social
interest in the same gender, but it is
also normal to favour the opposite
gender.

Generally between the ages of 9 and
13 children begin puberty. During this
time they experience a great deal of
change physically, emotionally,
socially, and sexually.


Answer questions calmly using the
correct words for body parts. Treat
their questions as you would any
question about how something works.
Use books and pictures for your
children’s level to help them to
understand the points you are making.
If their curiosity leads to behaviour that
is socially inappropriate, correct the
behaviour. Reinforce with stories that
describe the use of more appropriate
behaviours.
Teach your children the differences
between personal boundaries with
family, close friends, acquaintances
and strangers. It is important for them
to understand at a young age that their
body belongs to them, and that they
have the right to tell others not to touch
them.
At this stage, activities and games
with other playmates will help your
children to develop in their social
world.
Give your children tasks at home that
they are responsible for, and involve
them in activities outside of the home
to help build their self-esteem.
Before the changes begin, talk to
your children about what they can
expect to happen. Many books and
videotapes are available to help
parents share this information in a way
their children can understand. Knowing
ahead of time what will happen can
lessen fears and confusion, and help
them to build confidence and a healthy
self- image.
 Listen carefully to your children and
allow them to express themselves and
their feelings.
 Help your children to recognize their
Human Sexuality – Grades 7/8/9 – Parent Handbook
43
strengths, focus on them and develop
them.

Following the rapid changes of
puberty, adolescence begins. This is
a time of exploring and eventually
solidifying identity. Young people
attempt to form their own values and
beliefs.


Parents make difficult decisions at this
time about how much independence
to allow their children. Based on your
family beliefs and values and your
children’s ability, you will need to
decide what you are comfortable
letting your children decide for
themselves. These decisions may
include choice of clothing, hairstyles,
friends and some activities that they do
alone such as visiting the doctor.
These are all opportunities for your
children to express themselves as
individuals, separate from you.
Continue to have discussions with
your adolescents about the values that
surround sexuality throughout the
lifespan: true intimacy, self-esteem,
caring, and respect. Help adolescents
set appropriate boundaries around
relationships.
Adapted From: National Information Center for Children and Youth with Disabilities
(NICHCY). (1992). Sexuality education for children and youth with disabilities
(Electronic Version). NICHCY News Digest, #ND17.
COMMUNICATION STARTERS
Open communication is essential for healthy parent-child relationships. The
following communication starters may help you to discuss various topics with your
child.
 I have a concern about…
 After seeing that (T.V. show, magazine article, movie), I’ve been thinking
about…
 What do you think about…
 How do you feel about…
 I’m not sure I understand you. Will you try to say it another way?
 Let me check this out with you…Are you saying that…?
 What we’re talking about makes me feel pretty uncomfortable (embarrassed,
angry, concerned).
 There’s something important to me that I’d like to talk about with you…
 It would be really helpful to me if you’d tell me how you feel about…
Human Sexuality – Grades 7/8/9 – Parent Handbook
44
 I’ve been thinking about our conversation last night (last week, last month)
about….and there’s some more I’d like to say.
 I have a different feeling about that.
Human Sexuality – Grades 7/8/9 – Parent Handbook
45
SEX ON TV – WHAT’S A PARENT TO DO?
Getting Started
Watch T. V. with you child
Parents who watch T.V. with their children can help them understand T.V.’s sexual
messages. They can also use this time as a way to talk about their own values
and beliefs.
Talk about positive and negative images
Children build barriers against “doom-saying” adults or those who criticize the
shows they like. Ask your child’s view of the situation, rather than tell them what
you think is wrong with it.
Teachable Moments
Turn T.V. into a resource and conversation starter
Direct questions can put children on the spot. Begin the conversation in a nonthreatening way. For example:




“Do you agree with what that person did/said?”
“I wouldn’t like it if someone did that to me.”
“How do you feel about…?”
“What do you think about…?”
Use commercial breaks to deliver your own “brief messages!”
Sample Questions
The following questions are helpful when watching T.V. with your children:
1. Family and Friends
 Is there a T.V. family you would like to be part of?
 If you were a parent, what would you do if your child had a friend you didn’t like
or trust?
 Do people on T.V look like/act like people in real life? What are the
differences?
2. Relationships
 How do people show that they like each other?
 What might happen if you or I did what these T.V. people are doing?
Human Sexuality – Grades 7/8/9 – Parent Handbook
46
3. Values and Emotions
 What does our family believe about…(violence, how we treat each other,
sexuality)?
 What values do your favourite T.V. characters and families have?
4. Trust and Responsibility
 What does it mean to trust someone?
 Would you trust that T.V. character?
 How easy is it to say “no”?
5. Sexual Behaviour and Sex Roles
 Do you think…(name T.V. characters) are ready for a sexual relationship?
 What responsibilities go along with a sexual relationship?
T.V. as a Teacher
Should we be concerned?
 Canadian writer Michelle Lansberg says that “television is not part of culture; it
is our culture.” Cited in Hunter and Posner; 1987: 100
 Canadian children, between 2 and 11, watched 15.5 hours of television per
week in fall 2000. Statistics Canada, Oct. 2001
 Studies show that even 1 – 2 hours of daily television viewing by school-aged
children has a significant harmful effect on academic performance, especially
reading. Canadian Pediatric Society, 1999
 57% of U.S. children, between 8 and 16, have a television set in their bedroom.
Media in the Home 2000, Annenberg Public Policy Center
 Entertainment television is a source of information for children. It provides
information about the adult world that is entertaining – not instructive.
 When the programs children see on T.V. are unrealistic or do not represent
personal and family values, parents must find opportunities to shape their
child’s understandings.
 Remember you are in charge. If you find you are uncomfortable with a
program on T.V. – Turn it off!
Adapted From: Calgary Health Region. (2003). Sex on t.v. what’s a parent to do
[Brochure].
Human Sexuality – Grades 7/8/9 – Parent Handbook
47
THE INTERNET
SAFETY TIPS FOR KIDS
Tips for Kids
Reprinted with permission of the Ontario Provincial Police Child Pornography Unit.
Never give out identifying information such as Name, Home Address, School Name,
or Telephone Number in a public message such as at a chat room or on bulletin
boards. Never send a person a picture of you without first checking with your parent
or guardian.
Never respond to messages or bulletin board items that are:
• Suggestive
• Obscene
• Belligerent
• Threatening
• Make You Feel Uncomfortable
Be careful when someone offers you something for nothing, such as gifts and
money. Be very careful about any offers that involve your coming to a meeting or
having someone visit your house.
Tell your parent or guardian right away if you come across any information that
makes you feel uncomfortable.
Never arrange a face-to-face meeting without telling your parent or guardian. If your
parent or guardian agrees to the meeting, make sure that you meet in a public place
and have a parent or guardian with you.
Remember that people online may not be who they seem. Because you can't see or
even hear the person it would be easy for someone to misrepresent him- or herself.
Thus, someone indicating that "she" is a "12-year-old-girl" could in reality be an older
man.
Be sure that you are dealing with someone that you and your parents know and trust
before giving out any personal information about yourself via E-mail.
Get to know your "online friends" just as you get to know all of your other friends.
Human Sexuality – Grades 7/8/9 – Parent Handbook
48
TIPS FOR PARENTS
Make sure that the computer in your home is in plain view at all times when your
children are using it.
Talk to your children about what they are doing on the Internet. Get to know your
child’s online & offline friends. Ask your child to explain chat room and web lingo.
Become more computer literate. In today's day and age the children are learning
about computers and most parents barely know how to turn one on. Get to know
your computer, even have your kids teach you a little, it will be time well spent with
your kids.
Use blocking programs for Internet use such as NetNanny (see next section).
These programs are an excellent way to make the Internet safer for your children.
Note: Street proof your children on the Internet the same way you street proof
your children in your community.
Blocking Software
Parents have options when it comes to filtering or blocking information and sites
their children may have access to. It is important to understand that these have
limitations, and that parental supervision and involvement cannot be replaced.
A very useful website, discussing various options to parents is:
http://www.bewebaware.ca/english/TechnologicalTools.aspx
INTERNET SITES FOR PARENTS
www.getwebwise.ca
www.bewebaware.ca
safety.sympatico.msn.ca
www.netparents.org
In May, 2006 Alberta Children’s Services launched
http://www.weron2u.ca/ an Internet safety website for teens.
Human Sexuality – Grades 7/8/9 – Parent Handbook
49
BODY IMAGE: TIPS FOR PARENTS
(The following is excerpted from an article appearing in Eating Disorders, 9:1-14,
2001, entitled “BRIDGE (Building the Relationship Between Body Image and
Disordered Eating Graph and Explanation): A Tool for Parents and Professionals,
by Shelly Russell and Sabine Ryder, Calgary Regional Health Authority.)
A recent United States survey of female high school and college students shows
that 15.4% of these students met the clinical criteria for an eating disorder
(Cavanaugh & Lemberg, 1999). While 90% of people with eating disorders are
female, male incidence of disturbed eating is on the rise (Andersen, 1999;
Cavanaugh & Lemberg, 1999). A large number of girls and women and to a lesser
extent men, while not meeting the criteria for an eating disorder, have subclinical
symptoms (Shisslak et al., 1998). Further, large numbers of women and growing
numbers of men have become dissatisfied with their body shape, size, or weight.
Dieting, fear of fatness, and binge eating have been reported in girls as young as 9
years of age (Mellin, Scully, & Irwin, 1992). Thirty to 40% of 9-year-old girls and
80% of 10- and 11-year old girls have dieted. Young girls have indicated in
surveys that they are more afraid of becoming fat that they are of cancer, nuclear
war, or losing their parents (Berzins, 1999; National Eating Disorder Information
Centre (NEDIC), 1999). While females attempt to reduce their body size, males
more often report an obsessional preoccupation with their muscularity to the point
where their social or physical functioning may be severely impaired. For example,
they may abandon social and family relationships to spend more time at the gym or
take steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs even in the face of serious
side effects (Pope, Olivardia, Gruber, & Borowiecki, 1999). We need to be
concerned about a wide range of disordered eating behaviours and attitudes. It is
not only issues that meet the criteria for an eating disorder that require
intervention.
Tips for Parents
Parents can help their children understand the importance of healthy attitudes and
behaviours associated with body image and size. Parents should:
• Examine the ways in which their beliefs, attitudes, and behaviours about their
own body and the bodies of others have been shaped by common attitudes and
prejudices. Educate children about the basic differences in body types and the
importance of the person, not the image (Smolak & Levine, 1994).
•
Examine closely their dreams and goals for their children and other loved ones.
Are they emphasizing beauty and thinness, particularly for girls? Parents
should avoid sending a message that says in effect, “I will like you more if you
looked different,” and accept and reinforce their children for qualities other than
appearance.
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•
Learn about and discuss with their sons and daughters, (1) the dangers of
trying to change one’s body through dieting or other body altering behaviours
(e.g. steroids), (2) the benefits of being active, and (3) the importance of eating
a variety of foods. Parents should avoid labeling foods as “good”, “safe”, “nofat”, “low-fat”, or “bad”, “dangerous”, “fattening”, and practice being a good role
model with sensible eating and sensible exercise.
•
Take a look at the reasons they exercise and make an effort to be active for the
joy of feeling their body move, not to make up for eating too much, or to change
their body shape. Parents should consider how they view food in their life.
Healthy eating is a part of normal daily living, and is needed to fuel our bodies
so we can work and play.
•
Be a positive role model and stop avoiding activities (such as swimming,
sunbathing, dancing) simply because they call attention to their weight or
shape. Similarly, parents should refuse to wear clothing or accessories that are
uncomfortable simply because they take attention away from weight or shape
or are currently “in fashion” (i.e., stiletto heels or body shapers).
•
Make a commitment to help children think critically about the ways in which
television, magazines, and other media promote mostly unrealistic images and
try to provide children with a balance in the types of messages they receive
from the media.
•
Recognize the importance of self-acceptance – practice being their own best
friend – and control self-talk by changing negative messages to positive ones
(i.e., change “I’m so stupid” to “everyone makes mistakes”). Also, parents
should make sure to take time for themselves – time where they can enjoy their
favourite music, read a book, or spend time alone.
(Sabine Ryder & Dr. Shelly Russell-Mayhew are Co-Directors of Body Image
Works. Body Image Works promotes healthy body image and self-acceptance
through creative resource materials. Their website is www.bodyimageworks.com)
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Resources
For further resources, contact the following:
• Calgary Catholic Diocesan Life & Family Resource Centre, 218-5505
• Calgary Catholic Diocesan Religious Education Office, 218-5515
• Calgary Catholic Diocesan Youth Ministry Office, 218-5503
• Calgary Catholic Diocesan Resource Library, 218-5510
• The Calgary Diocesan Website is: http://www.rcdiocese-calgary.ab.ca/
• Calgary Public Library
• Calgary Health Region
CHURCH DOCUMENTS
Documents On Sexuality and Family Life
The following references are useful in ascertaining the official position of the
Church on a variety of topics dealing with Human Sexuality and The Family. This
is not an exhaustive list and is in constant need of update. It will however serve as
an appropriate starting point for these topics.
Pontifical
1968 Humanae Vitae (Of Human Life), Pope Paul VI
1985 To The Youth of The World, Pope John Paul II
1989 Pornography and Violence in the Communications Media – A
Pastoral Response
1995 Evangelium Vitae (The Gospel of Life), Pope John Paul II
1996 The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality: Guidelines for
Education Within the Family.
2006 Encyclical Letter of the Supreme Pontiff Benedict XVI to the
Bishops, Priests, and Deacons, Men and Women Religious and
All the Lay Faithful On Christian Love
Sacred Congregation for Catholic Education
1974 Declaration on Abortion
1975 Declaration on Certain Questions Concerning Sexual Ethics
1983 Educational Guidance in Human Love and Charter of Rights of
the Family
1987 Instruction on Respect For Human Life In Its Origin And On The
Dignity Of Procreation (Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith)
Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops
1979 Catholic Moral Questions and The Canadian Bishops Statement
on the Formation of Conscience
1983 Curriculum Guidelines For Family Education and Guidelines For
Family Life Education
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1985 1999 2002 2004 2006 -
Growth in Faith, In and Through the Family, or The Virtue of
Chastity
Catechism of the Catholic Church (Revised Edition)
In Love for Life! A Reflection Paper on the Conjugal, Social and
Religious Significance of Marriage
Marriage Matters
The Media: A Fascinating Challenge for the Family (C.O.L.F.)
Diocese of Calgary
1988 Catechetical Commission on Family Life, Bishop Paul O'Byrne
2005 Respect Life pamphlet
Other Writings
1980 Quinn, John R. Most Rev. Pastoral Letter on Homosexuality,
Daughters of Saint Paul, Boston Mass.
1984 McCarthy, Edward A. Most Rev. Instructions on Integrating Moral
and Spiritual Values in Sex Education
1987 Guidelines for Family Life Education, Ontario Conference of
Catholic Bishops
1988 Dunphy Richard, S J. Aids, What The Church is Saying and
Doing, Liguori Publications, Liguori Missouri.
1997 Always Our Children – A Pastoral Message to Parents of
Homosexual Children and Suggestions for Pastoral Ministers,
National Conference of Catholic Bishops
OTHER HELPFUL RESOURCES FOR PARENTS
Aquilina, Mike. Talking to Youth About Sexuality – A Parent’s Guide. Huntington,
Indiana: Our Sunday Visitor, Inc. 1995. (“Education in human sexuality demands
that our children know the facts of life. But even more important, it is crucial that
our children are given a faith-filled and morally correct context in order to make
sense of all the issues connected with human sexuality.”)
Catholic Organization for Life and Family. In Love for Life! A Reflection Paper on
the Conjugal, Social and Religious Significance of Marriage. Ottawa, ON:
Concacan Inc., 2002.
Catholic Organization for Life and Family. “Marriage Matters”. Ottawa, ON:
COLF, 2004.
Catholic Updates:
“Human Sexuality: ‘Wonderful Gift’ and ‘Awesome Responsibility’” (#C0892)
“What the Church Teaches About Homosexuality” (#C0799)
(Just 2 of many titles Catholic Update offers. These are brief summaries of the
highlights of Catholic teachings on a variety of topics. Published by St. Anthony
Messenger Press, Cincinnati, Ohio. Their website is www.AmericanCatholic.org
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Fey, Mary Ann & Nerbun, Ann. Sex and Chastity: What’s a Parent to Say?
Columbia, SC: Family Honor Inc., 1999.
Havlik, Sheree Whitters. Because We Love Them – Fostering a Christian
Sexuality in Our Children. Notre Dame, IN: Ave Maria Press, Inc. 2004.
Kurey, Mary-Louise. Standing With Courage – Confronting Tough Decisions About
Sex. Huntington, IN: Our Sunday Visitor Publishing Division, 2002. (“Mary-Louise
Kurey’s book is an honest account of her experiences as a teen and in the Miss
America Pageant. She explains the importance of her relationship with God and
how it has helped her to ‘stand with courage’.” Excellent for junior high students.)
National Conference of Catholic Bishops. “Always Our Children – A Pastoral
Message to Parents of Homosexual Children and Suggestions for Pastoral
Ministers”. Washington, D.C.: United States Catholic Conference, Inc. Revised,
1998.
Popcak, Gregory K. Beyond the Birds and the Bees. Huntington, Indiana: Our
Sunday Visitor Publishing Division, 2001. (A guide for parents, with chapters on
“The Ingredients of a Healthy, Holy Catholic Sexuality”, “Preparing to Talk to Your
Kids About Sex”, “Talking the Talk”, and some on ages & stages of sexuality.)
Spicka, Jana. The Locket and the Mask. Heiskell, Tennessee: Jana Spicka, Inc.,
2002. (A beautiful twist on the classic fairy tale of the toad and the kiss. “A gentle
teaching tool for parents and teachers to reinforce the importance of personal
honor and physical restraint until marriage.”)
Taylor, Ruth S., Nerburn, Ann. G., & Hogan, Richard M. Our Power to Love –
God’s Gift of Our Sexuality. Columbia, SC: Family Honor, Inc. – DEPPA
Publications Dept., 2000. (“This book is a new approach to sexuality education for
adolescents and parents, incorporating the physiology of sexual maturing with
Pope John Paul II’s theology of the body.”)
Helpful Websites:
o
o
o
o
Catholic Organization For Life and Family: www.colf.ca
Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops: www.cccb.ca
Media Awareness: www.media-awareness.ca/english/parents
United States Conference of Catholic Bishops – rating of motion picture,
television & DVD/video releases: www.usccb.org/movies
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o
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