Amendment Writing Guide
for Refuting Teams
2013 YMCA Queensland
Youth Parliament
Table of Contents
Page 3:
Introduction from the Parliamentary Team
Page 4:
Bills and Amendments at QYP
Page 5:
The Amendment Process
Page 6:
Effective Refuting
Page 7:
How to Draft Amendments
Page 8:
Sample Amendments – Hydrogen Power Youth Bill 2005
Page 11:
OQPC Formatted Amendments – Healthy Lifestyle Youth
Bill 2012
Page 13:
Amendment Writing Tips
Page 14:
Appendix 1 - Clauses
Page 15:
Appendix 2 - Parts
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Hi Youth Member!
Welcome to the Amendment Writing Guide! This guide will reintroduce you to the
amendment writing process. Along with the guide, we have sent you a copy of your
committees formatted Youth Bill. All other Youth Bills are available on the QYP website for
you to pursue.
As a Refuting Team, when looking at your committees Sponsoring Team’s Bill, remember to
look at the overarching themes and larger concepts before getting bogged down in the
details. The most significant changes are the ones that need to be focused on first.
Depending on the contents of the Youth Bill, your team may need to write major amendments
to crucial clauses, or you may need to make only fairly minor changes that will improve the
Bill. Remember the position your team decides to take towards amending the Bill will
determine the level of debate that is generated during Youth Parliament sitting week.
When we review your teams amendments, we will consider which amendments are ‘noncontroversial’, and serve as a very minor change to improve the Youth Bill, and which of
those that are (hopefully majority of) ‘controversial’ and serve to generate debate between
both sides. The amendments which are considered ‘non-controversial’ will be automatically
accepted by the Sponsoring Team and passed through parliament without a vote. Those that
are ‘controversial’ will be debated and voted on.
Amendments are due to your mentors by Sunday 14th July 2013, in which afterwards
they will be submitted to the Office of Queensland Parliamentary Counsel (OQPC) for final
formatting. Between now and then, your mentors will be in touch with you about organising
times for your team to meet to discuss your amendments and the parts that you will be
responsible for.
Best of luck in your amendment writing! We can’t wait to read through the finished product. If
you have any questions or would like any further information on amendment writing please
speak to your mentor, or alternatively you can contact us via our email addresses below.
Happy amendment writing!
Christien & Steph
Christien Duffey
Parliamentary Education Coordinator
[email protected]
Steph Toft (Youth Governor)
Parliamentary Officer
[email protected]
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Bills & Amendments at QYP
Come residential, Youth Bills and amendments will be debated in the
Queensland Legislative Assembly, with each committee team presenting
theirs to the house.
The difference between QYP and ‘real parliament’ is that both the
government and opposition introduce Bills and amendments to the house,
where this is rarely the case in ‘real parliament’.
We do follow the real process as best as we can however due to time
constraints and lack of resources we expect Bills and amendments to be
correspondingly less detailed then if they were to be presented to ‘real
parliament’.
Sponsoring & Refuting teams
By now you have been divided into sponsoring and refuting teams. If you are
reading this document you are, obviously, a member of a refuting team.
Your team will be responsible for drafting the amendments to improve or
change parts of the Bill your committee’s Sponsoring Team has written.
Writing the amendments
Writing amendments will be easier than it sounds.
Just remember to examine the Youth Bill, research
the topic well and plan your attack. Your mentor
will be there to help and guide you during this
important process.
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The Amendment Process
Introduction
First Reading
Second
Reading
CONSIDERATION
IN DETAIL
Third Reading
Royal Assent
Definition
‘amendment’ (Merriam-Webster)
a)  the process of amending by parliamentary or constitutional procedure
b)  an alteration proposed or effected by this process
Legislative Process
‘Consideration in Detail’ is one of the stages of the legislative process which
is about achieving the best possible piece of legislation. During this stage
Parliament debates the clauses of a Bill and amendments can be moved by a
Bills refuters in order to improve a Bill. These amendments are debated by
both sides and voted on by Parliament. A second vote takes place during the
Third Reading in which the Bill, in its original or amended form, is voted on as
a whole.
Youth Parliament Process
During Youth Parliament sitting week we will follow the same legislative
process as ‘real parliament’, just at a faster pace. Each refuting team member
will speak during the Bill debate which takes place during the Second
Reading. Two team members will also speak again during the Consideration
in Detail stage, where they will present their amendments to the legislative
assembly.
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Effective Refuting
Upon receiving the Sponsoring Team’s Youth Bill there are three things that need to
be done in order to be an effective refuter:
1.  Examine the Youth Bill - Note any mistakes, discrepancies and unreasonable
sections.
2.  Research the topic - Do some research into the issue the Youth Bill discusses.
Run it by friends or family and see what reaction you get. Is the fundamental idea
good, but the proposal poorly drafted? Or is the fundamental idea what you
disagree with?
3.  Plan your attack - There are different options, depending on your teams attitude
to the Youth Bill.
Planning your attack
When planning your teams attack there are a few different directions you can take.
Chuck it out
Your team disagrees wholeheartedly with the fundamental idea of the proposal, and
intends to urge parliament to reject it completely. This is a big move and you will need
to make sure you can prepare a blistering assault against the bill. You should prepare
amendments to take out some of the worst features of the bill in case it looks like
passing through parliament.
Not good enough, yet
Your team might decide the problem is valid and needs a solution. The intention of the
proposal is good, but in its present form it doesn’t deal with the real issues or go far
enough. If this is the case you may want to prepare significant amendments to make
the proposal more effective in its operation.
Alright…but
You can tell a team that agrees with most of the youth bill when they move
amendments like “the board should contain 9 rather than 7 people” just to save face.
If you really agree with the proposal and can’t find significant areas of amendment
then a fallback position is to find minor things and harp on them. At the end of the day
this will improve the bill as well. If this is the case, try to be funny – Parliament can
get dull!
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How to Draft Amendments
The Bill that you find enclosed with this pack and those posted on the website have been
sent to the Office of Queensland Parliamentary Counsel (OQPC) for formatting and appear
just like any other Bill debated in Queensland Parliament. The only way they can be
changed is by moving an amendment on the floor of Parliament. This is the task of the
refuting teams - to scrutinise the bills, identify their faults and propose amendments to them.
There are three types of amendments:
1. 
2. 
3. 
Inserting - New words may be inserted into an existing clause to clarify a point of
change it’s meaning, or a new completely new clause can be inserted.
Omitting - Words may be omitted from an existing clause to clarify a point or change it’s
meaning, or an entire clause can be omitted altogether.
Omit, Insert - Within a single clause some words can be omitted and alternatives
inserted, or entire clauses or part can be omitted and a replacement inserted.
On pages 8 to 10 you will find an example of each type of amendment listed above. The
amendments are for the ‘Hydrogen Power Youth Bill 2005’.
On pages 11 to 12 you will find a previously OQPC-formatted amendment set from the 2012
Queensland Youth Parliament. The amendments are for the ‘Healthy Lifestyle Youth Bill
2012’.
(Note: the last two pages of this guide (pages 14 to 15) are appendices, outlining
clauses and parts. They have been added to assist you when amending clauses and
entire parts of your Bill.)
Amendments can range from minor changes to rewrites of entire parts, however they cannot
change the fundamental idea of the Bill. Obviously anything added to the Bill will need to be
written in the same style we write Bills in and an Amendment template that will be emailed to
you to assist you in this. Once the amendments have been completed all Youth Members will
then receive a final copy of their Youth Bill and the proposed amendments.
Some of the amendments you write, which are considered only minor by the Parliamentary
team, will be separated from those that are more significant and controversial. Those
considered only minor will be automatically passed through Parliament without a vote during
sitting week, where as those that are significant will be debated and voted on.
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Sample Amendment 1
(Inserting)
Title of Bill:
Hydrogen Power Youth Bill 2005
Amendment Sponsor
Youth Member for:
Mr Tom Stephenson
Ashgrove
At:
Clause – 6
Line –
27
Omit / Insert After:
Clause 6
And Insert (if applicable):
6A
Location Restrictions
Power plants must not be located where—
(a)  the land is within 20 km of the closest point on any boundary
of land on which there is a residential building, a primarily
residential area, an area approved for residential
development or intended to be residential in character, a
place of worship, hospital, school, kindergarten, or any other
facility or place regularly frequented by persons for
recreational or cultural activities; or
(b)  where there is not a sufficient level of acceptance, at
community and local government level, for the establishment
of a power plant at the premises.
So that the clause now reads:
As above
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Sample Amendment 2
(Omitting and inserting)
Title of Bill:
Hydrogen Power Youth Bill 2005
Amendment Sponsor
Youth Member for:
Mr Christien Duffey
Kawana
At:
Clause – 6
Line –
8
Omit / Insert After:
Cairns
And Insert (if applicable): Callide
So that the clause now reads:
(3) Areas of interest to the committee are the following–
(a) Callide
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Sample Amendment 3
(Omitting)
Title of Bill:
Hydrogen Power Youth Bill 2005
Amendment Sponsor
Youth Member for:
Mr Luke Williamson
Gympie
At:
Clause – 12
Line –
2
Omit / Insert After:
Clause 12 and renumber accordingly
And Insert (if applicable): N/A
So that the clause now reads: Without Clause 12
10
OQPC Formatted Amendments
(Healthy Lifestyle Youth Bill 2012 – Accepted Amendments)
11
OQPC Formatted Amendments
(Healthy Lifestyle Youth Bill 2012 – Debated Amendments)
12
Amendment Writing Tips
Four tips for bill writing
1. 
2. 
3. 
4. 
Make them clear – amendments need to be properly drafted so apply the rules
regarding drafting Bills.
Make them meaningful – don’t be afraid to propose significant changes to the
Bill if there are aspects you think can be improved - it will make for a better bill
and more enjoyable debate.
You cannot completely change the Bill – you can’t change the fundamental
idea of the Bill, or move an amendment to directly negative it (i.e. if a bill were to
change the voting age to 16, you couldn’t amend it to keep the age at 18). If
you thoroughly disagree with the proposal, encourage the House not to pass it
at all.
Amendments don’t have to be lengthy to be good or significant.
Christien & Steph’s Golden Rules
1. 
2. 
3. 
4. 
5. 
6. 
Write in plain English. Clear, concise language without ‘big’ words.
Use strong and definite wording. Always use ‘must’ or ‘will’ and never use
‘should’ or ‘shall’.
Each clause is one idea only.
Don’t write long, chunky sentences. Where possible break it down into
subsections.
Keep it brief. Your amendments aren’t ‘real’ legislation and can’t include
everything, just the essential information.
Adhere to deadlines. If one bill is not submitted
on time it slows the entire process down.
Have questions or need help?
Talk to your mentor, or if they’re struggling
to answer your questions email your
Parliamentary Education Team at
[email protected].
13
Appendix 1 - Clauses
Clauses are the very basic building blocks of Bills and should be focused on
one narrow change or idea. Each clause is numbered and has a title.
There are three basic types of clauses:
— 
— 
— 
<Title of Clause>
<one sentence outlining one change>.
<Title of Clause>
(1)<subsections, all relating to the title of the clause, but each an independent
sentence>.
(2)<subsections, all relating to the title of the clause, but each an independent
sentence>.
(3)<subsections, all relating to the title of the clause, but each an independent
sentence>.
<Title of Clause>
<a list of points, all relating to one introductory sentence> –
(a) <point one>; and
(b) <point two>; and
(c) <point three>.
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Appendix 2 - Parts
All Bills have one central idea, but have different methods for achieving the
desired change. Parts serve as a way of organising a Bill and splitting the
different methods for achieving the desired change.
For example: If part of a Bill required the establishment of a committee it
would be sensible to include all the clauses relating to this in a clearly
defined part.
All bills have at least two parts and Part One of every Bill contains the same
information, that being the ‘Preliminary’.
For example:
PART ONE – PRELIMINARY
1. Short Title This Youth Bill may be cited as the <insert the name of your bill>.
2. Commencement
This Youth Bill commences on <insert date of commencement – if you don’t care write ‘a day to
be fixed by proclamation’>.
3.  Main Purpose of Youth Bill
The main purpose of this Youth Act is to <insert a statement/s summarising the purpose of your
Bill>. 4. Definitions
In this Youth Bill –
<“insert word”> means <insert definition – define all necessary words and write out all
acronyms>
<“insert word2”> means <insert definition2 – define all necessary words and write out all
acronyms>
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