DECEMBER 2015
Hello …….
Another year has gone yet again and it is a wonder
where it went. The Compassionate Friends (TCF) has
weathered the year and supported a variety of grieving
people who have contacted the organisation or to give
support in one way or another.
It is always hard for everyone especially at this time of
year as there is always one of our family missing from
our home and our table. No matter how hard we all try
to put on that brave face it never works as we know it
will never be the same but for me personally I keep
my tears for my time as most folks cannot handle
seeing you grieving.
I especially feel for those parents and families who are
facing this for the first time. Each one of you will find
a different way to deal with your grief and there is no
right or wrong way to get through it. Parents may find
that they don’t connect in the same way however this
is very normal and each person needs to allow the
other to do his or her grieving in their own way as you
will eventually find a way to support one another.
There is always someone on the phone even if you
need to leave a message someone will eventually get
back to you. Please don’t be disheartened if no one
answers as volunteers also have time away over this
period. What I will say is take good care of yourselves
in whatever way works for you and I hope that when
the day comes it will go much better than you
expected and you will no doubt have tears and sad
moments as the memories flood back for you. From
me I send you lots of love and hugs hoping you find
peace.
Grieving...Healing…
In sincere appreciation for the printing of this
Christmas Newsletter 2015
The group has changed in many respects and has had
to embrace the fact that financially it is getting much
harder to keep the organisation going. We have looked
at many ways to help remedy this and so far the
Management Committee has kept the flag flying so to
speak.
I wish I had more positive news but these are hard
times and we certainly need new ideas and more
people to help brings these ideas to fruition helping
with funds to further support those yet to experience
what we all have and will need the support that TCF
can and does give.
I also have news, I am returning to my homeland next
year to be closer to my daughter and my two
grandsons as it is getting harder for me to be here in
Australia by myself. I will miss everyone I know here
as I have made many friends through TCF and also in
many areas of my life so in that respect I will certainly
feel the loss. I am also having to leave my beloved
boys where they lie in rest.
So I want to say a huge thanks to everyone who has
ever helped me to find a way through the loss of my
two boys, I appreciate you all more than words can say
and hope that I will return one day in the future to find
TCF stronger than ever helping those who need this
amazing group.
Love and Blessings, wishing you a Safe and Healthy
Festive Season and Health & Happiness in 2016.
Alison Flanagan
(Mother of Roddy and Aidan)
Growing
newsletter, we say “Thank You” to FUJI XEROX
QUIZ NIGHT 2015 SUCCESS!
2
$1,800
RAISED
TCF WORLDWIDE
CANDLE LIGHTING
2015
CANDLELIGHT
MEMORIAL
Sunday 13th
December at 2.30
The service will take place on Sunday 13th
December at 2.30pm so please make sure
you are at St George’s Cathedral by 2pm to
sign in, put your pictures on the alter and
find your seat.
Everyone is welcome and if possible please
bring a plate to share and a gift for a child,
as we will still have a cuppa before we
make the journey home.
Looking forward to seeing you all on the
13th. All welcome.
The Compassionate Friends
Worldwide Candle Lighting unites
family and friends around the globe
in lighting candles to honour the
memories of the sons, daughters,
brothers, sisters, and grandchildren
who left too soon.
Candles are lit as hundreds of
thousands of people commemorate
and honour the memory of all
children gone too soon. Meaning a
virtual 24-hour wave of light is
created as it moves around the
world.
Hundreds of ‘formal’ candle lighting
events are held each year, and
thousands of informal candle
lightings are conducted in homes, as
families gather in quiet remembrance
of children who have died, but will
never be forgotten.
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WALK OF
REMEMBRANCE
Children’s
International
Memorial Day
This International day is held each
year on last Sunday in January 24th at 6pm in
the evening. There are balloons released and
there is a simple ceremony which many
bereaved parents participate in. Last year this
was held in the Place of Reflection which is
where it will be held again in 2015. The Place of
Reflection is a beautiful garden which was
developed to allow people to sit quietly
remembering their loved one who has died,
been lost or has disappeared without trace.
This is truly a deeply moving place to be,
experiencing nature at it’s best whilst looking
over the water of the Swan River.
The walk of remembrance that is held in
March each year will be once again held at the
children’s park at Burswood. The walk is a
sponsored walk and there will be forms sent
out in our next newsletter for everyone to have
a look at. The group of those attendees walk as
much or as little as they can do to the
Windamn bridge and back and then a
barbeque is held which gives everyone time to
catch up with those they have made friends
with over time. The weather is normally on our
side and it makes for a lovely Sunday morning
outing whilst remembering our children and
raising much needed funds for our
organisation.
“Thank You”
To all those who donated to our organisation this
past three months. We are very grateful for all
your wonderful gifts of love xoxoxo
To everyone who volunteered in the office,
Committee, sent in their membership fees,
supported the quiz night, who makes sure our
newsletter is published, collated and posted, and
take our support groups each month. You are all
very much appreciated and there are no words to
thank you enough.
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Your Memoriams…in remembrance
We are featuring this special article again to share our beautiful unique ways of remembering our dearly loved
departed children. It is so wonderful to share our special places that we hold in our hearts of our lost children.
If you would like to show your special memoriam, we would love to feature it on this page in our next issue.
Please e-mail to [email protected]
This is Adam’s memorial garden at the family home. Adam was 27 years old
when he died in 2011. Adam loved helping us in the garden. Our family cat
Ziggy died 2 years later, at the age of 20. You are always in our hearts.
Adam Robbins 16/12 1983—06/04/2011
I WILL LOVE YOU
By Caniel Haughian
The Compassionate Friends
A Poem for Christmas
I will love you, my Child,
as long as I can dream,
as long as I can think,
as long as I have memory…
I will love you.
By Alison Flanagan, November 2007
Christmas for most is a time of celebration and joy
Remembering the Christ Child’s birth
Who was born such a precious gift
A time past so long ago
At Christmas we think about our precious children
Those that have died and gone before us
With a great sadness and the grief we feel
Waiting for the emotional pain to subside
Watching those around us making plans
Plans for festivities with family and friends
A time that normally would be joyful and happy
A time that is so hard to bear
But then there are the shining bright lights
Bringing hope, love, peace and harmony
Seeking each and everyone to draw hope and guidance
From this one event from a time gone past
LOVE”
“If I love until it
hurts, then
there is no
hurt, but only
more love.”
( Mother
Tereasa)
“
It is difficult for us all
To watch people smiling and laughing
They don’t see the emotional pain deep within
So we gather together in remembrance
We light our candles, we sing our songs
Read our words and remember our loved ones
In a way that brings us peace
Honouring our beautiful children
So Christmas is a time of pain, sorrow, laughter and joy
Standing together sharing with one another
Love and hope for the future
With open hearts embracing our memories
In memory of my beautiful boys
Roddy and Aidan
55
As long as I have eyes to
see,
and ears to hear,
and lips to speak…
I will love you.
As long as I have
a heart to feel,
a soul stirring within me,
and imagination to hold
you…
I will love you.
As long as there is time,
as long as I have a breath
to speak your name…
I will love you.
Relationships
Siblings
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO MY SISTERS
Darkness came as fast as you got your angel wings.
My tear as will never go away,
My heart feels like it's been thrown away.
When I heard the news,
I fell to my knees.
Not wanting to get up,
I heard you say it'll be okay.
Flying 1200 miles to see if it was true,
Memories running through my head not believing my
only brother's life was gone.
I sit there looking at you,
wanting to shake you.
I couldn't see those big brown eyes,
there's not a smile that could ever be replaced.
God, take this pain away from me.
I never got to say goodbye,
I want you to answer me why.
I was too late to take his place,
but all I can do is wait.
Till then I'll be missing him.
I am with you every day though you cannot see.
I wonder do you notice me?
I am...
The warmth of the sun upon your face,
The gentle breeze that ruffles your hair,
The soft flit of a dragonfly's wings,
The gentle beauty of a butterfly in flight,
The softness of flower petals kissed by morning dew,
The song of the birds in the trees,
The lazy flight of a bumblebee,
The soft mist of an April shower,
The beauty of a rainbow at the end of a storm,
The soothing sound of water in a brook,
The glitter of moonlight on new fallen snow,
The beauty of the sunrise on the mountains,
The warmth you feel as you watch puppies play,
The love of your children to make your day,
A am the soft kiss of a gentle breeze upon your cheek.
I send you these things so that I can be...
With you every day - though you cannot see.
LETTING GO
TODAY
You're still here in my heart and mind,
still making me laugh cause your stories live on.
I hold you in a thought and I can feel you.
I feel you and this gives me strength and courage.
The tears I have cried for you could flood the earth
and I know you have wiped each one away.
For you Brother, I promise you this,
I will go on with my life and make you proud. I will
always hold you in my heart.
I promise you I will be missing you everyday till the end
of time,
but this is not my end and I can't hold my head
underwater....I need to breathe.
I need to love and miss you, but I also need to live
because through me you will live,
you will still laugh and love,
you will still sing and dance,
you will still hug and kiss.
You will forever be in our lives,
you will forever be a brother,
a son, an uncle and friend.
I am going to miss your shining face
I think of you and wonder why?
I might cry or smile,
but at the end of the day I am one day closer to you....
Today I walked down memory lane to days of that,
Our youth
I walked through our childhood and boy, was that a
hoot
Our many shows and dances, our secrets never told
Continued on this trip today into our teens I arose and
laughter shook what's left of my very soul
Kept going and not far away were soon to be our
graduation days
Our paths soon led us to adulthood, where many days
were spent
Our mother and new babies kept us busy to all ends
So glad we had those moments that no one will ever
know
For I will treasure them wherever I may go
Until we meet, My sister, stay sweet and pure of soul
For you were and will always be the light within my
soul
Those pinky swears and double dares will see me
through the end
I will always love you, Until we meet again.
MY OTHER HALF
Never thought it could be you,
I never wanted it to.
My other half of me just disappeared.
Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems
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Relationships
Grandparents
WHAT IS GRANDCHILD LOSS?
but always be haunted by the might-have-beens.
While these feelings come along with the new
normal, each day can also bring hope and healing to
the bereaved grandparent and their child.
Ways to Process this Tragedy:
Don't feel like you have always to be the strong one.
It's perfectly fine for you to be sad and show that
you're sad.
The pain one experiences when their
grandchild – an unborn baby, a living, breathing baby,
toddler or older child – leaves this earth can feel
unbearable. It can leave a grandparent grappling with
one of the most unnatural, unfair, painful experiences
one can endure.
As a grandparent, you are now placed in the position of
grieving your own sense of loss, as well as helping your
child cope with the loss of his or her child. This can be
compounded when the child dies near or around the
time of the birth of another child. Finding ways to
celebrate the new baby and mourn the one who has
died can be extremely difficult.
Go through the grief process. It's essential that you
process this grief in order to be able to hold up your
child.
Talk about the grandchild. Remember that you're not
going to remind your child of the child they lost. They
want you to talk about them. They want people to
remember that they existed.
Forgotten Grief:
Grandparents are often forgotten because attention
and grief are focused on the parents of the
child. Grandparents grieving the loss of a grandchild
feel a double-edged kind of pain. They feel the pain of
not being able to make things better for their own child
coupled with the pain of losing a family member. Grief
can be complicated, and a grandparent may not feel as
if they are allowed to grieve openly.
It's vital that grandparents allow themselves the
opportunity to grieve - even if it has to be privately - to
allow themselves to process the loss. Take the time and
process the loss while focusing on yourself. You're not
going to be any help to anyone if you don't allow
yourself the opportunity to grieve. And remember,
there is no timetable on grief and everyone grieves
differently.
Whether your grandchild dies from an infection, is
stillborn or a miscarriage, SUDC (Sudden Unexplained
Death of a Child), pediatric cancer, or an accident, the
end result is the same: grief, questions, pain, emptiness,
and often guilt – and the feeling of a limb being
missing, because, well, it is missing.
Remember that watching your child grieve and long for
their child is going to be hard. Your remembering the
birthdays and anniversaries of the child's death is going
to help them heal over time. And by helping them heal,
you will begin to heal. You want to fix them, but since
you can't, helping them move through their life without
their child is the next best thing.
Listen to your child. You cannot heal the pain they're
going through, but you can be a shoulder to lean on,
someone to wipe their eyes. It may be hard to hear
their complicated grief, but they will need you.
See more at: http://www.bandbacktogether.com/grandchildloss
Survivor's Guilt:
No one ever expects to outlive their own children. It's
unnatural to bury a child. As a grandparent, you may
feel full of guilt, remorse, and misplaced anger because
you have survived while your grandchild has not.
Often, grandparents wish they could change places
with the child who has died.
Grandparents may feel haunted by unanswerable
questions: "Why didn't I spend more time with the
child?" "Why am I alive while my grandchild is dead?"
Grief-stricken grandparents must learn to live their lives
7
ARNETT Shayloh Aurora, age 14 months,
15/10/09-15/12/10. To the sweetest piece
of life. We miss you so much, you were a
slice of heaven and our tiny little angel.
Mummy, Daddy, Jacob and Indianna. xoxoxo
BROWN Emily Louise, age 7 years, died 12th
January 2000. As years fly by Emily, we will
always love you around the world and back,
a million times and more. Miss you our little
angel. Love you Mum, Dad, Sarah, Benjamin,
Timothy and Holly. xoxoxo
BURTON Joshua 05/03/1983—07/01/2011.
Our dear Josh, we miss you every day and
will always love you. Mum, Dad, Bec, Jeremy,
Ben and all the family xoxoxo
GREEN
Michael
David
22/12/1988—
06/02/2008. My precious Son, I still miss
you so much but treasure the happier
memories we shared. Miss your cheeky
smile. Love you always, MUM xoxoxo
CARR Janelle Emma, age 24 years, 17/08/79
-11/01/04. At 11 years old, little did I know
that the most important person in the world
to me had just been born. It wasn’t until that
day that I felt and know a love and bond so
strong. Our love and laughter is still in my
heart. Thank you for showing me what love,
family and true sisters are meant to be. I
miss you dearly. We will be forever together.
Your loving sister Renae. xoxoxo
HODDY Ruben John, age 37 years, 09/06/72
-01/01/10. I miss you every day my
beautiful son. You are always close to my
heart. I often feel you near me. Love forever,
Mom. xoxoxo
MARSHALL Georgia Olivia 16/08/2001—
14/01/2010. “Gorgeous Girl”. The years are
passing fast. Our hearts miss you more and
more each passing day. Watch over your big
brother Aaron—Aza to you. He is driving!!
Love you and miss you forever, Mum, Dad
and Aza. xoxoxo
DUFF Jessica Emily 07/07/80—16/12/03.
You are always with me, love Mum xoxoxo
FARRIS Simon Christopher 20/04/1978—
28/11/2008.
My
beautiful
loving
courageous son Simon. Seven years ago your
pain ended and my heart will be forever
broken. I miss you so much, love for
eternity, Mum xoxoxo
MATTHEWS Chris 08/06/1982—Jan 2009.
Still can’t believe you are gone. Trying to live
through the pain and appreciate all the help
from The Compassionate Friends since you
left. My life has changed and you have given
me strength to help others. We all miss you
so much, love Mum, Ian, Colin and Ashley
xoxoxo
FLANAGAN Aidan William 17/01/1983—
12/12/2002. An extremely sad day for us all
and memories sometimes do not mean
enough but you are in our hearts and
remembered well with much love and
blessings. MUM, JULIE & FAMILY xoxoxo
SHAW
Chanel
Elizabeth
Nicole
22/02/2010—04/01/2012. Our little girl
that we love and miss so very much, You will
always be in our mind and in our hearts.
Always remembered and never ever
forgotten. Love Mummy and Daddy xoxoxo
GALLAGHER: Mark Peter 31/01/2004.
Forever missed, Forever Loved. MUM, DAD
ROB and AMANDA xoxoxo
If you would like to include your child’s or grandchild’s details for
the next issue, please fill out the enclosed form.
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KINGSTON Devin Patrick, born 19th February
1971. My darling boy, I miss you so much. I
miss your jokes, your smile, your hugs—I
just miss you. Love always Mum xoxoxo
POPE John, born 16th January 1969. Time
slowly passes on but your memory lives in
our hearts. Love from all the family xoxoxo
ROBBINS Adam John born 16th December
1983. Happy 32nd birthday Adam. Another
year that you are not here to celebrate. We
have
treasured
memories
of
past
celebrations to keep forever. We miss you
every day. Lots of Love Mum, Dad and Jade
xoxoxo
BATT Jeremy Lawrence, born 20th December
1975. Loving memories always of our
precious son and brother. Never forgotten,
love Dad, Mum and Damien xoxoxo
SERMANNI Clifford Elliot, age 19 years, born
30th December 1992. Forever in our
hearts...
COREMANS Rene Robert born 18th January
1977. You are in our hearts always darling
and it is a great comfort to know that you
watch over us at all times. We miss you and
love you always. Mum, Michells, Senem,
Beliz, Kerem, David, Jess and Jasper xoxoxo
TARR Byron Daniel, born 4th January 2005.
We hope you are happy and free with your
big sister Neve. Thank you for your love and
for watching over your younger sister
Chelsea. Love you forever, Mum, Dad and
Chelsea xoxoxo
FIELDING Robert Charles born 3rd February
1981. I am often surprised at how long it’s
been since you left us because there’s not a
day that goes by that I don’t think about
you. Your sense of humour, your brilliant
mind! What you would have achieved, who
you would have married and the children
you could have had. Robbie we love you and
miss you. Mum, Dad and David xoxoxo
TCHERNAKOFF Paul Jason, age 41 years,
born 18th January 1971. Paul, you are so
very missed by us all. It still seems unreal
that you are no longer with us but we all feel
your spirit. From all your family and friends.
xoxoxo
Van EIJNDHOVEN Mark (Dutchy) born 19th
December 1980. Forever in our hearts and
minds. A piece of all of our hearts went with
you when you left this earth. Love forever,
Mum, Dad, family and all your mates.
xoxoxox
FLANAGAN Aidan William, born 17th January
1983. You are in my thoughts everyday and
missed more than words can say. Love is
always within your reach from Mum, sister
Julie, brother-in-law Iain, nephews Kane and
Louis. xoxoxo
GREEN Michael David, Born 22nd December
1988. Today you would have been 26 yet
you will always be 19 to me. Hope you are
skating with the Angels. Love you always,
Mum xoxoxo
An angel wrote in the book of life my baby’s date of birth, then
whispered as she closed the book, “Too beautiful for earth.”
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MANAGING GRIEF AT CHRISTMAS
Christmas can be a difficult time if you’ve recently lost
someone you care about. However, there are a few
things you can do to help yourself cope, and ways that
you can look after yourself over the holidays.
Remember that there’s always someone you can talk
to.
This might help if:
You've recently lost someone you care about
You're struggling with grief
You're worried about coping with Christmas
Why Christmas is particularly tough
Christmas is often a time when people get together
with family and friends, so if you have lost someone
you love, Christmas can be a pretty stark reminder of
that. While everyone reacts differently, a lot of people
find Christmas can be a pretty difficult time - it can
prompt you to react more sensitively to things or
become detached from those around you. Everyone
will have a different way of coping, but however you
react to Christmas, it’s important that you look after
yourself and have your own way of getting through the
times when you’re feeling really low.
Ideas for coping
Christmas may have been a time you spent with
someone you have lost, so it's completely normal to
feel sad that they're not with you. It may help to take
some time out, allow yourself to be sad, and think of
the person you love. Some suggestions of things you
can do include:
Find a quiet spot to remember all the good things about
the person
Go and do something that you used to do together
Write a letter to the person
Revisit that favourite spot you had
Share some of the memories
You might find it difficult to celebrate when you're
missing someone you love. Many people report
experiencing a range of conflicting/different feelings
such as sadness, guilt, or excitement. However, getting
together with family and close friends may be a chance
to remember the good times. It's important to know
that it's ok to relax and have a laugh - having fun is not
a sign that you miss a person you have lost any less.
might need to treat yourself with a bit of care. If
possible, make some time each day to treat yourself to
something you enjoy doing. It may be that you:
Go to the beach
Go for a walk
Kick a footie
Listen to music
Go shopping
Have a massage
Hang out with friends
Who can you talk to?
You might find it useful to talk to someone you trust
about how you're feeling. This could be a family
member, friend or youth worker. If you’re finding it
hard to cope with day-to-day stuff then it may help to
talk to someone like a counsellor. Check out the
Professional Help section for more information about
what types of help are available.
You can find details of a counsellor in your local area in
the beyondblue Directory of Medical and Allied Health
Practitioners or your local doctor should also be able to
suggest someone.
Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) or Lifeline (13 11 14) also
have counsellors that are available 24 hours a day
Source: Reachout.com
Looking after yourself
Be prepared and remember that this could be a tough
time for you, so it's a good idea to be mindful that you
10
11
The Mandurah Group of The Compassionate Friends
held their annual weekend retreat at Nanga Bush Camp
(just past Dwellingup WA), in November for 2015
A few TCF WA members were invited and had a wonderful time
relaxing and getting to know their fellow group members. On offer were
Reiki, Readings, Workshop, Canoeing and Bushwalking. The theme this
year was LOVE, HOPE and MEMORIES.
The accommodation was very
rustic….and the highlight of the
weekend was our rose petal
dedication to our beloved children.
Wendy organised hundreds of rose
petal which we took down to the
river and released with love for our
lost children. It was very emotional
as we watched the rose petals flow
downstream. A very moving and
touching experience.
We set up a beautiful
butterfly garden with an
angel looking over our
children.
The Reiki was held
outdoors in the beautiful
bush setting.
Even the local Kookaburras were
keen to join us!
Ursula from TCF WA having a go
at the assault course with the help
of Gary—president of TCF
Mandurah.
Thanks Mandurah, we’ll be
there for sure again next year!
12
NOT ALL LOSSES ARE THE SAME
By Bill Cushnie...from the site Hello Grief
The death of someone we love is always difficult.
The circumstances surrounding the loss however are
seldom the same. Also, our responses to loss are not all
the same.
I’ve had multiple losses in my life and not one of
them has had the same impact. Yes, there are
similarities, but there are lots of differences, too. As we
navigate our grief journeys and support others in the
journey it is helpful to be mindful of these differences.
ANTICIPATED OR SUDDEN
The main difference for me has been whether
the death was anticipated, like the passing of my
parents and grandparents, or sudden, like the recent
death of a good friend. The grief is profound in both
cases, but we have to appreciate their differences.
Well meaning adults sometimes exclude children from
anticipatory grief, thinking they are protecting them.
The opposite is often true, as at some level the child
may not only be surprised, but resentful for being
excluded. Even when an adult or child is “prepared,” it
is important that we not minimize their pain or need to
mourn by saying such things as “Well, it was expected
after all.” Or, “It’s behind you now and you can move
on.”
The more sudden the death, the more likely the
shock and the disbelief that it happened. Some try to
push away the pain at first. Older teens and adults may
plunge into activities at a frantic pace and avoid being
alone with their grief. The young child may respond by
going outside to play in the only way he or she knows
how since “play is a child’s work.” We know the path to
healing is to allow ourselves to move toward the pain
and visit those dark feelings, but for some it is very
difficult to do. Being patient with ourselves or with
others who experienced the loss is an important part
of coping when death is sudden and unexpected and
feelings are very raw. Refrain from telling the person,
“You need to snap out of it.” Or, “At least she didn’t
have to suffer long.”
Whether the death is anticipated or sudden we
may feel culpable in some way. I personally wish I had
been more assertive with my father about his heavy
drinking and smoking which contributed to his death.
It may or may not have made a difference, but I’ll
never know since I only tried once. Guilt can raise its
ugly head in many ways. An unresolved argument, an
ill-timed vacation, work priorities, a missed
opportunity…
A tough lesson for me, but I eventually learned
that I cannot undo the past. I can learn to forgive
myself and I can live forward being more mindful in
my relationships.
AGE
Losses also differ based on the age of the person
who died. When a person is older it is easier to
understand death is “the natural order of things.”
That’s not to say it makes the loss easier. But, when
death happens while a person is young, it feels more
tragic – a life that has been cut short.
Many of the differences between a loss of an elder
loved one and a young life are similar to those of
anticipated and sudden loss. It is key to understand the
difference, yet appreciate the grief both cause.
STIGMA
Some deaths have a stigma – suicide, drug
overdose, murder, AIDS, for example. Society responds
differently to these loses, and sympathy is not as
readily available from outsiders. That often brings
additional feelings of shame, embarrassment,
loneliness and/or hurt with the grief of a stigmatized
loss.
The more stigmatized the death the more
isolated the survivors may feel. There certain things we
“just don’t talk about” in our society. Without very
sensitive friends and family members, professional
help, and/or retreat experiences that provide an
opportunity to mourn with those who understand,
healing may be difficult, and the consequences long
lasting. Fortunately there are many organizations that
provide that special touch and/or connect those who
can truly understand and care.
FINAL THOUGHTS
We must always remember that every person’s
situation is different, and every person’s unique
experience and personality plays a role in their grief.
There’s no time limit for “getting over it,” and “moving
on.” I’m still amazed at how prevalent this view is in
society, and also how limiting and damaging it is for
those who need to mourn in order to heal and create a
new life out of their experience of loss.
To quote from Mary Oliver’s “The Uses of
Sorrow,” as I’ve done before in Hello Grief:
Someone I loved once gave me a box full of
darkness. It took me years to understand that this too,
was a gift. The new life we create after loss doesn’t put
the grief behind. If we are wise, in time, the experience
of loss softens and changes us, and our “gift” is
helping others through the “darkness.”
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We’re selling the new 2015—2016 Perth
Entertainment TM Books as a fund-raiser!
The new Book is only $65 and you’ll receive over
$20,000 worth of valuable offers that you can use
right away.
Plus, $13 of your book purchase goes towards our
fund-raising—so please forward this to your family
and friends,
as the more books we sell, the more funds we will
raise!
ATTENTION ALL MEMBERS. CAN
YOU PLEASE MAKE SURE WHEN
PAYING YOUR MEMBERSHIP BY
DIRECT DEBIT THAT YOU PUT YOUR
INVOICE NUMBER OR FULL NAME
IN THE NARRATION AS SOME HAVE
OMMITTED THIS AND WE ARE
HAVING TROUBLED FINDING YOU
AND MAKING SURE YOUR
MEMBERSHIP HAS BEEN PAID. IF
YOU THINK THIS IS YOU, PLEASE
CONTACT THE OFFICE AND WE WILL
MARK YOUR INVOICE AS PAID.
Many thanks
Annette (Treasurer TCF)
A huge thank you to all who have
sent their membership
subscription in. It is
very much
appreciated.
To order contact : Compassionate Friends
Phone : 9486 8711
Email: [email protected]
www.entertainmentbook.com.au/orderbooks/83m300
Help in the office. Your time and
assistance would be valuable to us.
URGENT REQUEST!!Please
give your
support by donating postage stamps
They are used to send out anniversary cards to
grieving parents to give much needed support.
and also A4 photocopy paper which is
used to print grief packages.
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Peer Support Group
Meetings
“We
invite and welcome our fellow bereaved parents to the following groups. We value your company and
after the group session we welcome sharing of supper or lunch and friendships. You are most welcome to
bring a plate to share. The group last approximately 2 hours for caring and sharing stories. Parent support
groups start at 7.30pm and morning tea groups start at 10am. See you there”.
CITY WEST—PERTH
COUNTRY MORNING TEAS
FREMANTLE
MANDURAH
SUICIDE GROUP
To be confirmed at a later date
PLEASE CALL THE OFFICE on 9486 8711
2nd Wednesday of each month 7pm—8.30pm
At: The Meeting Place
245 South Tce, South Fremantle
Ring Gabrielle 0403 460 229 for details
3rd Friday of each month
At: Lotteries House, 7 Anzac Place, Mandurah
9.30am—12.30pm
GOSNELLS
To be confirmed at a later date.
BUNBURY
4th Wednesday of each month
Please ring Wendy first on 9725 0153
PLEASE CALL THE OFFICE on Gosnells 9486 8711
HEATHRIDGE
4th Thursday of each month at 7.30pm
At: Granny Spiers Community House, cnr Albatross
Court and Poseidon Road, Heathridge 9486 8711
COLLIE
Please ring Kathy 0437 788 566
MIDLAND
To be confirmed at a later date.
PLEASE CALL THE OFFICE on 9486 8711
We need not walk alone.
We are The Compassionate Friends.
We reach out to each other with love,
understanding and with hope.
Our children have died at all ages and
from many different causes, but our
love for our children unites us.
MANDURAH
1st Thursday of each month for bereaved parents,
grandparents and siblings.
At: Eastlake Church, cnr Lakes Road and Murdoch
Drive, Mandurah
7pm—9pm
Office: Lotteries House, 7 Anzac Place,
Mandurah. Phone: 9535 7761
To ensure that information is accurate and up to date, you and your call will be most welcomed. The Compassionate
Friends of Australia does not make any recommendations to any one view of grief or way of mourning, as each of you
will find your unique way of expressing your love and pain on the tragic death of your precious loved one. We provide a
range of literature from local TCF and worldwide as well as a book library, plus professional input. These are provided
knowing that you will choose and then respond in a way that you believe to be the best for you at any given time. We
welcome the sharing of your stories and poems in the newsletter so others know that they are not alone. “You will make
a difference!”. The articles and written material in this newsletter may not represent the opinions of TCF Inc members
and associates.
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THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS
of WESTERN AUSTRALIA Inc
City West Lotteries House, 2 Delhi Street, West Perth, 6005
Office 9486 8711and 9486 8717
[email protected]
Supporting Families After a Child Dies
Category A Charity No: 18526
ABN: 1741 750 2246
“We
are a group for families who have lost a son, daughter, sister, brother or grandchild. Although we
are not counselors, we encourage you to reach out to us and have a chat knowing we understand. It may
not be easy but by talking on the phone, popping into the office or attending group sessions, your burden
will be lightened. You and your call are important to us so please leave your name and number if we are
unavailable and we will return your call as soon as possible. Our warmest thoughts are with you”.
WEB SITES
COUNTRY CONTACTS
Badgingarra
Jillian
or
Balingup
Doreen & Peter
Bunbury
Wendy
Cervantes
Joy & Brian
Collie
Kathy
Donnybrook
Judy
Sue
Dunsborough
Maureen
Kalgoorlie/Boulder Kathleen
Kambalda
Karratha
Libby
Kojonup
Roberta
Lake Grace
Julie
Leeman
Lynne
Mandurah
Office
Merredin
Jenny
Narrogin
Kathy/Keith
Three Springs
Barbara
For a list of grief sites please look at;
www.compassionatefriendswa.org.au
(08) 9652 9017
(08) 9652 3044
(08) 9764 1101
(08) 9725 0153
(08) 9652 7162
0437 788 566
(08) 9764 1232
(08) 9764 1262
0407 998 036
(08) 9021 3741
(08)
(08)
(08)
(08)
(08)
(08)
(08)
(08)
9185
9833
9865
9953
9535
9041
9881
9954
We also invite you to view The Compassionate
Friends web and view web sights worldwide. You
may also consider accessing email newsletter’s
from TCF worldwide. We are truly a worldwide
group and encourage you to make links when
traveling.
We sincerely thank all Contacts, Facilitators and
Staff members for being available and willing to
Share and Care. Your compassion and time is
valued and deeply appreciated., we say …..
“THANK YOU”
3336
6232
3058
1938
7761
3153
4152
5048
Please let us know if you have changed your
telephone number or your address.
If you would like your newsletter e-mailed,
please contact us on
[email protected]
SIBLINGS: The Forgotten Mourners
A Guide to Healthy Grieving
This DVD is intended to assist bereaved siblings
to deal with the death of a brother or sister in a
healthy manner. $16.50 each plus postage $2.35
Please contact TCF Mandurah on 9535 7761
The Worst Loss
“Every parent’s worst nightmare is to lose a child”.
This phrase may be a cliché but each year, for
thousands of parents and siblings, the nightmare
becomes a reality.
SUICIDE IN MEMORIAM BOOK
Please pass on your loved ones name direct to:
[email protected]
38 St George’s Terrace, Perth WA 6000
See form attached
For over 40 years, The Compassionate Friends has
been offering support to families in their time of greatest
need from the only source that really understands—
other bereaved families. With mutual support, we guide
each other through the new world in which we find
ourselves.
IF YOU NO LONGER
REQUIRE THE NEWSLETTER
PLEASE
E-MAIL OR PHONE TO
CANCEL DELIVERY.
Whatever the age of the child you have lost and
whatever the cause, we are here for you and we can say
truly:
“I know how you feel.”
For any information please call our office on
The Compassionate Friends has no religious or political
affiliations. We are all one in our shared loss.
Donations to BSB 066001 Account no 10107668
WE ARE HERE
9486 8711or 9486 8717
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