Beware of Vampires!
No. I don’t believe in vampires, at least not like in the popular movies you will find on at the
movies and television programs of today. However, I do know of a kind of vampire that really
does exist. It’s the emotional vampire! An “emotional vampire” is a term coined by psychologist
Albert J. Bernstein in his book, Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People who Drain you Dry.
The truth is that the nature of either type of “vampire” is incompatible with the Christ-like nature
that should be the identifying trait of a Christian man or woman. Allow me to explain.
Bernstein repeatedly makes the point that life is lonely for vampires: For them, the world
comprises only their needs, nothing else… their symptoms are apparent when the person is
under stress or bored… and they behave like an emotional two-year old. He lists the basic social
rules of emotional vampires as: My needs are more important than yours; the rules apply to other
people, not me; It’s not my fault, ever; I want it now; If I don’t get my way, I throw a tantrum.
Other traits of these emotional vampires are: they are “often attractive, energetic
and fun to be around, but they are inherently unreliable and have no problem lying to get
what they want.” They “are also mistrustful of others because they suspect that all people
are motivated by self-interest, and like them are only capable of predatory behavior.”
They live for “attention and approval”… and are “experts at hiding motivation.” Some
tend to “go out of their way to appear to be helping while all the while pushing their own
agenda.” Usually they “have huge egos and tiny consciences”…with “grandiose fantasies
about being the smartest, most talented people in the world. It's not that they think less of
others, they don't think of them, period.”
The Bible actually warned us of people like this long before Dr. Bernstein. Note
what Paul wrote to Timothy in 2 Timothy 3:1-9,
But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will
be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers,
disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving,
slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors,
headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having
a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn
away! For of this sort are those who creep into households and make
captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various
lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the
truth. Now as Jannes and Jambres resisted Moses, so do these also resist
the truth: men of corrupt minds, disapproved concerning the faith; but they
will progress no further, for their folly will be manifest to all, as theirs also
was. NKJV
Do you know, or have you known, an emotional vampire? Most of us have.
Some live with one. Some are related to one or work with one. You will find then in
churches and outside of churches. Just like their fictional counterparts in the movies,
they’re the ones who can’t see their reflection—can never see themselves as they truly
are or as others see them. They can’t stand the light of day—any attempt at examining
their motives brings their wrath. It’s not a new thing. Note John 3:19-20,
“This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved
darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who
does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their
deeds will be exposed.”NIV
The Apostle Paul didn’t just point out the problem of, what we might call in our
day, “emotional vampires,” he also gave some guidance in living among them in verses
10-17.
But you have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life, purpose,
faith, longsuffering, love, perseverance, persecutions, afflictions, which
happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra—what persecutions I
endured. And out of them all the Lord delivered me. Yes, and all who
desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. But evil men
and impostors will grow worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived.
But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been
assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from
childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make
you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.
All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine,
for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of
God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.
No matter what century we live in, it is the same for those who wish to be Christlike, but have to live among those who are maybe not so motivated. (1). Maintain your
purpose and walk of faith. (2). Persevere no matter what you have to endure—God
delivers. (3). Remember, you can’t make people do right or treat others right—except for
your children. (4). Maintain your faith in Christ and the boundaries of good behavior.
(5). Follow the guidance of God’s Word.
Be aware of “emotional vampires” and their nature, but don’t give in to them or
allow your walk of faith to suffer because of them.
© 2012 by Mark Beaird
Mark Beaird is a licensed professional counselor (LPC) in Huntsville, Alabama. He has also been a pastor
for over 25yrs, and is an author and freelance writer. Email: [email protected]