Excellence in Exhibition
Label Writing Competition 2011
The Jurors
Museums rely on exhibition labels to welcome
and engage, inform and inspire. Label text must be
clear, concise, and captivating—a combination not
easily achieved. By showcasing excellent work, this
competition aims to inspire label writers and editors
to keep striving to find, as Cathleen Donnelly says,
“just the right word[s].”
Writers and editors from across the country submitted
sixty-seven labels to the 2011 competition. A panel
of four jurors—representing more than 105 years of
collective experience writing, editing, and evaluating
museum labels—reviewed the entries and chose eight
to honor at the AAM annual meeting in Houston.
Thank you to those who entered their work in 2011.
We applaud your efforts. We gratefully acknowledge
the work of this year’s jurors: Cathleen Donnelly, Nancy
Goodman, Brian H. Peterson, and Liza Reich Rawson.
We thank Eileen Wagner of Eileen Wagner Design and
Bob Meyer Jr. of M&G Graphics, both in Chicago, for
helping create this display. And, we extend our sincere
appreciation to CurCom for sponsoring this initiative
in cooperation with EdCom and NAME.
Representing CurCom
Representing NAME
Brian H. Peterson
Liza Reich Rawson
Gerry and Marguerite Lenfest Chief Curator
James A. Michener Art Museum
Senior Exhibit Developer & Project Manager
Liberty Science Center
Exhibition writers must always be aware that
most people need help with stuff like string
theory or dopaminergic neurons. An attitude of
generosity is important. But we also must remain
true to the complexity of our subjects—and so
the fun begins! Find a graceful, even a poetic
way of making Mt. Everest seem like a walk in
the park, while not losing sight of the actual
mountain with its summit soaring above the
clouds. That’s our job.
Writing labels is hard. Crafting memorable
labels that convey content and concepts, while
helping visitors navigate their own experience
and meaning-making (using only 50 words)
can be daunting.
Exhibit writing has very strict parameters. So
does a sonnet. So does a haiku. We can’t be
Shakespeare or Basho, but we can still be
creative despite the fact that we only have 150
words—words that, for example, must put one’s
“philosophy” of exhibit writing into a neat little
gift-wrapped box. That’s all those taskmasters
in Chicago gave me to work with—150 words.
Count ’em, friends—150, on the nose!
Representing EdCom
Before they start writing, the best writers ask,
“Who am I writing for? What are they ready to
understand? What “voice” will resonate with
them? “What are the visitor behaviors we want
to support?” Only then do they ask, “What am I
writing about?” And, “What are the messages we
want visitors to take with them?” This approach
results in labels that truly connect to visitors.
I respond to labels that grab my attention
with humor or pathos; explain complex ideas
without jargon; encourage me to experiment or
observe; transport me to another place or time;
and inspire me to share what I’ve discovered.
These are the labels that stay with me long after
I’ve left an exhibition and have changed my
own approach to exhibit writing.
Cathleen Donnelly
Senior Exhibit Developer
Children’s Museum of Indianapolis
Representing the 2010 awardees
Nancy Goodman
Thanks for attending the Marketplace of Ideas. We
look forward to receiving your entries for the 2012
competition. Submission details will be available
in August at www.curcom.org.
John Russick Emily H. Nordstrom
Director of Curatorial Affairs Editor
Chicago History Museum Chicago History Museum
I look for labels that intrigue me, that grab my
attention and make me want to know more. It’s
even better when the copy helps me think about
something in a whole new way. Sure, I need text
that helps me understand a concept or answers
my question, but I don’t want a lecture.
I like short labels that use simple language.
If I can’t understand what the writer is talking
about, I’ll tune out.
I prefer a label that tells a story, evokes a feeling,
or makes me laugh—like a conversation with
good friends. But to be an exceptional label, it
has to pass another test. It must be crafted so
carefully that every single word is just the right
word. That kind of writing looks easy, but is so
hard to do.
Independent Exhibit Developer and Writer
Ideally, an exhibit label is the other half of
a conversation. It might provide an answer
for a visitor who is curious about an exhibit
object and is looking around to find out more.
The label “speaks” and answers the visitor’s
questions. Labels can start conversations, too,
by being so personable that visitors want to
read them aloud—sharing ideas and prompting
responses from family and friends. Good labels
are short enough and long enough to provide
engaging, balanced conversations. Good labels
nudge visitors to look closer, see more than
they’ve seen before, and understand—or keep
seeking—just as a good conversation draws
you in and makes you think. And good labels,
like memorable conversations, are fluid and
impressive in their language, whether their
content is light-hearted or serious.
Writer: Toni Wynn
Editor: Judy Rand
Reclaiming Our History
African Burial Ground Visitor Center
New York, New York
Target audience: As a National Park Service
National Monument, the exhibition is open
and accessible to all. To target our writing,
we followed the 2006 Analysis of Potential
Audiences (People, Places and Design
Research), which identifies audience segments
including people of African descent; people
who are interested in African American,
American, and/or colonial history; women;
and older adults.
Label type: Concept (subsection)
Ships Were Laden with
Heavy Cargo
African men’s lives were cut short, working
on the docks
Enslaved men filled or emptied the
ships of sugar, rum, tobacco, and
other cargo—goods made by other
enslaved people throughout the
Americas. Even though the men were
hired out, slaveholders pocketed the
wages. All day the men loaded and
unloaded: bending under heavy loads,
carrying barrels, boxes, and crates
of goods. They were worked to death;
their muscles, spines, and joints
wore out while they were still young.
Many died in their mid-30s.
Some men cut deals with their
slaveholders for time to visit with
family and friends. Those who were
denied permission might steal away
anyway, risking harsh punishment.
This 1797 painting is one of the first
to represent African New Yorkers.
Francis Guy, The Tontine Coffee House (1797). Collection of the New-York
Historical Society, 1907.32
Detail of painting above
Ships Were Laden with
Heavy Cargo
African men’s lives were cut short, working
on the docks
Praise from the Jurors
“African men’s lives were cut short, working on
the docks.” This is one powerful label. It evokes
anger, sadness, even shame. And it’s impossible
not to get caught up emotionally in the story.
Who can’t be moved by the thought of young
men worked to death on the docks?
This writer did a masterful job of selecting just
the right words to paint a vivid picture of the
enslaved. We see the men “bending under heavy
loads,” “their muscles, spines and joints wore
out,” while “slaveholders pocketed the wages.”
Though the label is almost 100 words, it didn’t
feel long as I read it. A compelling narrative
and a skillful use of cadence kept it rolling.
Excellent work!
— Cathleen Donnelly
Enslaved men filled or emptied the
ships of sugar, rum, tobacco, and
other cargo—goods made by other
enslaved people throughout the
Americas. Even though the men were
hired out, slaveholders pocketed the
wages. All day the men loaded and
unloaded: bending under heavy loads
carrying barrels, boxes, and crates
of goods. The men were worked to death;
their muscles, spines, and joints
wore out while they were still young.
Many died in their mid-30s.
Some men cut deals with their
slaveholders for time to visit with
family and friends. Those who were
denied permission might steal away
anyway, risking harsh punishment.
Writer and editor: Eileen Campbell
Changing Earth
The Franklin Institute
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Target audience: Eight year olds and up
(labels written at a middle-school reading level)
Label type: Special graphic
Praise from the Jurors
Using only 38 words, this label captures the
vast travels of a drop of water (around the
world, over time, and from one state of matter
to another) and the means of travel (weather
and water use by living things), all while using
captivating examples and bringing the water
back home to the visitor and the museum.
Well done!
— Nancy Goodman
There’s an art to making an effective list.
Variation and surprise go a long way: Peru
to dinosaurs to Ben’s bathwater. Rhythm and
sonority make a big difference, too: notice
how the poem—oops, label—starts and ends
with longer, more didactic chunks of words,
broken up with short, choppy chunks like
“Ben Franklin’s bath.” That’s NOT a sentence,
by the way. The horror . . . If Joseph Conrad could
get away with it, why not exhibition writers?
— Brian H. Peterson
After reading this label I will never look at a
glass of water the same way again.
— Liza Reich Rawson
Every drop you drink
might once have been
ice in the Arctic.
Rain in Peru.
A drink for a dinosaur.
Ben Franklin’s bath.
The same water is used
over and over again.
So sip, and
join the cycle!
Writer: Bonnie Wallace
Editor: Eileen Campbell
no rock is Forever
Rocks get recycled endlessly from one form
to another because Earth’s surface is so active.
Over time, changes in heat, pressure, and exposure
melt, freeze, deform, and weather all rocks.
Changing Earth
The Franklin Institute
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Target audience: Eight year olds and up
(labels written at a middle-school reading level)
PahOEhOE
FOSSiLiFEROuS LimEStOnE
WiSSahickOn SchiSt
SandStOnE
[ SEdimEntaRy ]
cOngLOmERatE
Fragments stick
together
Water, wind, and ice break rocks and shells
into sediments: gravel, sand, and mud.
Sediments get buried deep in river deltas,
lakes, and seas. Pressure and chemicals
glue them into sandstone, limestone,
and shale, and other sedimentary rocks.
cOaRSE-gRainEd gRanitE
FinE-gRainEd gRanitE
Label type: Concept
BandEd gnEiSS
[ ignEOuS ]
Liquid rock cooLs
SLatE
molten magma churns under Earth’s crust.
it forms different igneous rocks depending
on how fast it cools. magma flowing from
a volcano hardens fast into glassy pahoehoe.
underground, magma crystals can cool
slowly into granite.
[ mEtamORPhic ]
deep rocks buckLe
under pressure
When rocks get buried, massive pressure
and heat can recycle them by folding,
squishing, or partly melting their minerals.
minerals recrystallize to form marble,
gneiss, and other metamorphic rocks.
No rock is forever
Rocks get recycled endlessly from one form
to another because Earth’s surface is so active.
Over time, changes in heat, pressure, and exposure
melt, freeze, deform, and weather all rocks.
Praise from the Jurors
I love that this label injects activity
into something as solid and seemingly
unchangeable as a rock. Despite the wellknown “diamond is forever” slogan, we learn
that “no rock is forever,” what with all that
sticking, churning, flowing, hardening, folding,
and squishing. Great use of energetic words,
clear definitions of the three rock-recycling
processes, and solid examples—familiar ones
for reinforcement and a lovely new one for
fun: pahoehoe!
— Nancy Goodman
[Sedimentary]
Fragments stick
together
Water, wind, and ice break rocks and shells
into sediments: gravel, sand, and mud.
Sediments get buried deep in river deltas,
lakes, and seas. Pressure and chemicals
glue them into sandstone, limestone
and shale, and other sedimentary rocks.
[Igneous]
Liquid rock cools
Molten magma churns under Earth’s crust.
It forms different igneous rocks depending
on how fast it cools. Magma flowing from
a volcano hardens fast into glassy pahoehoe.
Underground, magma crystals can cool
slowly into granite.
[Metamorphic]
Deep rocks buckle
under pressure
When rocks get buried, massive pressure
and heat can recycle them by folding,
squishing, or partly melting their minerals.
Minerals recrystallize to form marble,
gneiss, and other metamorphic rocks.
Writer: Raúl Nava
Editors: Elizabeth Labor and Melissa Snyder
Hot Pink Flamingos: Stories of Hope
in a Changing Sea
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Monterey, California
Target audience: Adults and teens
Label type: Object
White ibis
Corocoro blanco
Eudocimus albus
Praise from the Jurors
This writer sketches a lovely and evocative
portrait of a white ibis. Color words—“striking,
bright blue eyes” and “lanky pink legs”—draw
the visitor’s attention to physical features, while
active verbs vividly describe the bird’s behavior.
There’s also a complete story in this label,
all in one short paragraph. We see the ibis
in the marsh, looking for food, watching for
predators. And then the tide comes in and the
bird moves on.
Informative and beautifully written, this label is
a joy to read and re-read.
— Cathleen Donnelly
I love how this label paints a picture with
words, “A white ibis scans the marsh with
striking, bright blue eyes . . . ” I imagine
being the ibis and “Strolling on lanky pink
legs” or probing the mud with my “sensitive
beak to find hidden snacks.” I can also
imagine delight the writer took in crafting
this little gem!
— Liza Reich Rawson
A white ibis scans the marsh with striking, bright blue
eyes to find food and watch for predators. Strolling
on lanky pink legs, it probes the mud with a sensitive
beak to find hidden snacks. As sea levels rise,
the marsh will flood and move inland—if there’s room.
The ibis will follow, looking for new food and shelter.
diet: fish, crustaceans, insects
size: to 27 in. (68 cm)
Writer: Jenny Sayre Ramberg
Editors: Elizabeth Labor and Melissa Snyder
Hot Pink Flamingos: Stories of Hope
in a Changing Sea
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Monterey, California
Target audience: Adults and teens
Label type: Concept
Manure Happens
When life gives you cow pies,
make electricity
Cow manure, burps and flatulence release lots of methane—
a powerful climate-changing gas. And since dairies and feedlots
generate tons of manure, they can make good use of the methane
by capturing it and converting it to energy.
Using manure this way is a win-win solution because less
climate-changing methane enters the atmosphere, and
the farms make energy—cow pie power!
Praise from the Jurors
To paraphrase the future wife of Tom Cruise in
Jerry Maguire: you had me at “manure.” Now
that’s an attention grabber: Manure happens.
But then the clever doctoring of the terrible old
lemon/lemonade bromide, and the grand finale:
cow pie power! If your assignment is to write a
label about manure and methane, what are your
choices? A scholarly tone, with footnotes? Why
not have fun with it? That’s what I like about this
label—the writer had a good time writing it.
Consequently, I have a good time reading it!
— Brian H. Peterson
1. Farmers collect a sloppy
slurry of cow manure and
other food wastes.
2. As a digester heats the
slurry, bacteria feast on it
and make methane gas.
3. A generator burns
the methane gas
to make electricity.
4. Farmers use the
leftovers for fertilizer
and garden mulch.
Writers: Dr. Peter Kindsvatter and Sarah Winski
Editors: Dr. Steve Frank and Mary Jane Taylor
Art of the American Soldier
National Constitution Center
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Target audience: Students in grades 6 to 12
and general family and adult visitors
AFTER
BATTLE
When the guns of war fall silent, the evidence
of their handiwork remains: charred and ruined
towns, pastoral landscapes scarred by shell
craters, and forests stripped of foliage. The
Label type: Concept (subsection)
dead need burying and the wounded, military
and civilian, need care. During World War I, the
eight combat artists selected from the Society
of Illustrators used their training to document
shattered French villages devastated by the
weapons of the first “modern” war. Later artists
continued to record the nightmarish landscapes
and unimaginable human casualties that serve
as a moving reminder of the costs of war.
Praise from the Jurors
When you need to find the right words, it
helps if you’re feeling what the words need to
say. This writer felt the feeling and found the
words. The opening line is masterful—it has the
rhythm and majesty of Whitman’s war poems.
Think of all the banal ways to say it: When
the shooting stops . . . After the war is over.
Instead—“When the guns of war fall silent.”
Silence. Like the men who died are silent.
There’s rhythm in those words, and pathos.
Thank you to this writer for finding the feeling,
having felt it, and finding the words that make
me feel, too.
— Brian H. Peterson
“When the guns of war fall silent . . .” the
haunting imagery that follows this evocative
beginning left me shuddering. A well-written
label that is poignant and moving.
— Liza Reich Rawson
After
Battle
When the guns of war fall silent, the evidence
of their handiwork remains: charred and ruined
towns, pastoral landscapes scarred by shell
craters, and forests stripped of foliage. The
dead need burying and the wounded, military
and civilian, need care. During World War I, the
eight combat artists selected from the Society
of Illustrators used their training to document
shattered French villages devastated by the
weapons of the first “modern” war. Later artists
continued to record the nightmarish landscapes
and unimaginable human casualties that serve
as a moving reminder of the costs of war.
Writers: Eugene Dillenburg and John Gordon
Editor: Liza Pryor
Science, Risk and Vaccination
Science Museum of Minnesota
St. Paul, Minnesota
Target audience: Families with children
ages 9 to 13; general
Label type: Introductory
A shot in the arm
It’s the needle many of us fear.
It’s the boost all of us need.
It’s a shield against numerous deadly
diseases.
It’s a weapon in the war
on germs.
It’s real.
It works.
It’s…
Vaccination.
Come learn more about
this modern medical marvel.
What is vaccination?
Praise from the Jurors
It’s literal. It’s a metaphor. Perfect title!
And then, visitors step through a series of
well-chosen words that make their points
with good rhythm, alliterative flow, and
contrasts (fear/need; shield/weapon; deadly
diseases/modern medical marvel) and that
acknowledge different viewpoints while
strongly promoting one. Every word works.
That makes a great label!
— Nancy Goodman
I appreciate labels with a point of view. This
writer is clearly in favor of vaccines and lets you
know it: “It’s a shield against numerous deadly
disease.” “It’s a weapon in the war on germs.”
“It works.” It’s a “. . . modern medical marvel.”
The repetition of “It’s” is used to dramatic affect
to build momentum and carry us to the end—
and the answer to all the clues—“Vaccination.”
Nice!
— Liza Reich Rawson
Those cells stay with you—if you ever
encounter the real, live germ, your body
is ready to overwhelm it and keep you
from getting sick.
All photos courtesy CDC
Good introductions attract attention, launch a
conversation, elicit curiosity, or set the mood.
This label does all of that. It caught my eye
with a simple sentence structure and drew me
in with clever metaphors. I’d be curious to
explore the topic, based just on what I read in
this appealing panel.
— Cathleen Donnelly
Vaccination is a medical procedure which
boosts your body’s natural ability to fight
disease. The doctor injects a dead or
weakened germ under your skin. Your
body responds by producing special cells
to fight the harmless invader.
A shot in the arm
It’s the needle many of us fear.
It’s the boost all of us need.
It’s a shield against numerous deadly
diseases.
It’s a weapon in the war
on germs.
It’s real.
It works.
It’s . . .
Vaccination.
Come learn more about
this modern medical marvel.
Writers: Eugene Dillenburg and John Gordon
Editor: Liza Pryor
Science, Risk and Vaccination
Science Museum of Minnesota
St. Paul, Minnesota
Target audience: Families with children
ages 9 to 13; general
Label type: Sidebar
Praise from the Jurors
It takes confidence to break the rules, and
man oh man, does this one break the rules! An
exhibit writer actually talking about himself,
in the third person no less, as if HE’S the thing
being studied, instead of a saber-toothed tiger
or a squid! And he writes about himself with
such style and panache—“This is Gene” and
“(Hi Mom!)” Such a friendly, self-deprecatory
aroma to the words! But underneath lies a
purposefulness, a seriousness that hits home
to the reader. This is not theoretical, this is you
and me, our lives. A truly masterful piece of
work, this label—Best in Show, hands down,
from a grateful recipient of a polio shot in
the 1950s.
— Brian H. Peterson
What a relief it was to get to this label and
meet “Gene.” What a breath of fresh air it
must be for visitors, too. Breaking the fourth
wall with “Hi Mom!” and adding the touch
of self-deprecating humor “. . . much to
the annoyance of his co-workers” makes it
easier to absorb the label’s core point—that
vaccines have risks but the risks outweigh
the alternative.
— Liza Reich Rawson
A case history: Gene
This is Gene.
He works for The Science Museum of
Minnesota. In fact, he wrote this exhibit. (Hi
Mom!) While doing the research, he came
across his old medical records.
In 1965, he was vaccinated for measles—and
promptly came down with a mild case as a
reaction. He recovered and went on to
become a museum professional—much to
the annoyance of his co-workers.
Like millions of other people, Gene is living
proof that the side effects of vaccination—
even when serious—are still infinitely
preferable to the debilitating, potentially fatal
disease.