Family Hosting Information
for Japanese Students
4-H International Exchange Program
Purdue University
Table of Contents
What is Meiji Gakuin ......................................................................................................................3
Characteristics of the Program.......................................................................................................4
4-H Japanese Exchange Program Contacts ..................................................................................5
Hosting Hints ....................................................................................................................................6
Questions to Think About Before you Host ...................................................................................7
Ideas of Places to Visit .....................................................................................................................8
Checklist of Suggestions for a Successful Exchange .....................................................................9
Expectations, Knowledge and Understanding ..............................................................................11
Your Visitor Arrives ..................................................................................................................12
Sleepiness and Time Zone cChanges ........................................................................................13
Language .....................................................................................................................................13
Who Pays for What....................................................................................................................14
Eating ..........................................................................................................................................14
Food for Thought .......................................................................................................................15
The Family Experience ....................................................................................................................17
Vacation Procedures ........................................................................................................................18
Community Activities ......................................................................................................................19
Safety Checklist ................................................................................................................................20
Special Permission Required ..........................................................................................................22
Differences in Bathing .....................................................................................................................22
For Host Families of Female Exchangees ......................................................................................23
Gifts ...................................................................................................................................................23
Your Exchangee’s Money................................................................................................................24
Participating in 4-H or Other Camps ............................................................................................25
The Need to Adjust ..........................................................................................................................26
About Religion..................................................................................................................................26
Some Areas of Cross-Cultural Differences ....................................................................................27
Touching .....................................................................................................................................27
Homesickness, Writing Home and Telephoning Home ..........................................................27
Indiana 4-H International Programs Review List ........................................................................28
Non-Verbal Gestures .......................................................................................................................29
Eye Contact.......................................................................................................................................29
Children’s Roles in Japan ...............................................................................................................30
Boyfriends/Girlfriends.....................................................................................................................30
Making Choices ................................................................................................................................30
Japanese/American Culture ............................................................................................................30
Characteristics of Japanese Society .........................................................................................31
More Major Differences Between US/Japan ...........................................................................33
Telling Time................................................................................................................................34
Japanese Trivia ................................................................................................................................34
Helpful Language Hints ..................................................................................................................35
Some Common Questions About the Exchange ............................................................................36
Preparation and Arrival ............................................................................................................36
Activities During the Visit .........................................................................................................37
Money ..........................................................................................................................................39
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Hosting Adults ............................................................................................................................40
Around the House ......................................................................................................................40
Medical Problems.......................................................................................................................41
Good-Bye is not the End ............................................................................................................42
Luggage Limits .................................................................................................................................42
Returning to Japan ..........................................................................................................................44
A FAIR TRADE
You were a stranger
And so was I
But a change took place
As we passed by.
I had a smile
And you did too.
A smile for a smile An even trade.
But in the deal
Two friends were made.
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A VISITOR FROM JAPAN IS COMING TO LIVE WITH YOU!
Congratulations! This is an experience you will long remember as an opportunity and a
challenge. No doubt the questions now in your mind are: “What is expected of us as a new host
family?” and “What can we do to prepare for the arrival of this new family member?” Some of
your questions are answered in this handbook. Still others will be answered by International
Extension staff members at the state level. Finally, many of your questions will be answered by
your visitor! You will find more questions and answers as this cooperative living experience
develops.
WHAT IS MEIJI GAKUIN?
Since 1986, Meiji Gakuin students have experienced homestays in Indiana. Meiji Gakuin High
School is one of the oldest and best private schools in Japan. The school, which became
co-educational in 1991, was established in 1877 by Presbyterian and Reformed church
missionaries. They were led by Dr. James C. Hepburn, who authored one of the first JapaneseEnglish dictionaries and who developed one of the two systems used today to write Japanese
words in Roman letters. Hepburn founded and became the first president of Meiji Gakuin
University, the high school’s parent institution today.
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Characteristics of the Program
1.
After the 4-H and Japanese youth have been assigned to each other, correspondence is
initiated and adult and whole family friendships have resulted. The child doing the
traveling feels much more secure in visiting a home he or she knows about, rather than a
stranger's home. After a Japanese youth has stayed in the 4-H home, it is possible that a
4-H member will visit Japan the following summer and stay in his/her friend's home.
Correspondence can be continued from one summer to the next and then this relationship
can become one of a lifetime.
2.
The timing of the visit is very rigid because it comes during Japan's summer school
vacation. The Japanese exchangees visit Indiana from approximately mid-July to midAugust.
3.
Experiencing daily life as it truly exists within each culture is the heart of the program.
Therefore we ask each host family to alter the daily life of their families as little as
possible.
4.
Several Indiana counties have selected a volunteer County Coordinator (CC) for the
International exchange program. This person has had experience with the exchange and
serves as a local liaison for public relations, information and problem-solving.
5.
Adult chaperones accompany the group from Japan and homestays are provided for them.
The chaperones help in case of an emergency, illness or severe homesickness. Their main
role is to assist while traveling and at orientation and evaluation sessions.
During the homestay, these chaperones will contact their exchangees through letters or
postcards. The children know this is an individual homestay and are instructed not to call
other exchangees. If families hosting exchangees see each other in social situations or if the
county arranges 4-H events involving host families and exchangees, we encourage
interaction. However, the time an exchangee is with the family should be devoted to family
living and speaking English with his hosts; not speaking Japanese on the telephone.
While the exchangees are in the United States, they are under the jurisdiction of 4-H. The
4-H Extension Specialist/International Program Coordinator at the State 4-H Office at
Purdue coordinates the program and is available to assist all participants.
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4-H/JAPANESE EXCHANGE CONTACTS
STATE 4-H OFFICE
State 4-H Office, Purdue University
4-H International Programs
First Emergency Contact:
Linda Hines
Department of Youth Development and Agricultural Education
Purdue University
615 W State Street
West Lafayette, Indiana 47907-2053
Office telephone: (765) 494-8433
TOLL FREE: 1-888-EXT-INFO (398-4636)-please ask for Linda Hines in 4-H
Office fax: (765) 496-1152
e-mail: [email protected]
Cell telephone: (765) 585-9857
PLEASE NOTE: You are asked to call the office if at all possible. Your questions can better be handled
from the office where the records are, and the voice messaging service is more reliable. If you call the
office at night, your call will be returned the next day. Also, if you call during the day you can request to
be called right back, thereby putting the phone charges on Purdue's bill instead of yours.
Second Emergency Contact:
Department Head
Roger Tormoehlen
Office telephone: (765) 494-8422
Cell telephone: (765) 714-4941
County Extension Office
Every host parent should know the name and telephone number of his/her county extension educator and
volunteer county coordinator (if you have one, not all counties have one). If you cannot reach your local
county representatives or do not have their telephone numbers, or there is a serious problem and/or
emergency, contact the staff at the State 4-H Office at Purdue University.
If you are not affiliated with 4-H, you are encouraged to contact your extension office before and during
the exchange. Ask the 4-H educator if they would like to meet your delegate. You may feel free to utilize
the county extension educators and volunteer county coordinators as resources for support. Your state
coordinator is also available to assist you. You may also find that there are other 4-H activities that your
family could be involved in during and after the exchange.
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HOSTING HINTS
As a host family, you are preparing for a wonderful, enriching experience! We hope these
suggestions will help you.
Learn About Your Visitor and Japan
Please write to your Japanese friend as soon as you can. This will give both of your families a
chance to get acquainted. It is reassuring to the Japanese family and exchangee to know that
his/her host family takes an interest in him/her.
A list of Japanese trivia, which will help to familiarize your family to some of the Japanese
culture, is included in this handbook. You will also find helpful language guides in this
handbook. Your visitor will be very happy to find you know something about Japan and are
interested enough to learn some words in Japanese.
Japanese-English dictionaries are also very helpful.
WRITING TO A
JAPANESE FAMILY
It is very important that you write your exchangee as soon as you have received his or her
name. Imagine sending your child around the world for a month, and not knowing
anything about the people who would have this responsibility! If there is an email address
provided on the personal information sheet, feel free to use it.
The following letter is a suggestion to get you started. The areas in italics are the parts that you
would change, adding the information about your own family. Enclose a family photo and photos
of your home, town, or videos of your family to introduce you.
Because the Japanese families may not be very fluent in English, please type or print your letter.
The first letter should be from the host parents to the Japanese parents. After that, the children
can write.
Postage: A 1-ounce airmail letter or a postcard to Japan is approximately $1.00.
Please adjust the letter accordingly if you are hosting an adult.
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SAMPLE LETTER
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Tanaka,
Our names are Russell, (father) and Patricia (mother) and our children are John (18
years old), Thad (15 years old), and Todd (12 years old). All of us wish to extend our invitation
to Kiyoshi, to come into our home this summer.
We are very excited about Kiyoshi coming to stay with us. He will be welcomed into our
home as a member of our family during his visit to America.
Our home is near Bloomington, Indiana, which is located about 50 miles southwest of
Indianapolis. The weather in July and August is very warm and mostly sunny.
Russell works for the telephone company and coaches a boys' baseball team. Patricia is
a school teacher and likes to play tennis. John likes sports, especially baseball. Thad plays
clarinet, likes baseball and enjoys drawing. Todd likes to study history and travel.
We hope to make Kiyoshi's visit an enjoyable experience.
Sincerely,
Russell and Patricia Krantz
Questions to Think About Before you Host...
1.
What things could you teach or share with your new friend from Japan?
2.
When writing letters to your Japanese exchangee, what questions could you ask before he gets to
the United States which might help make your exchangee experience more enjoyable for both of
you?
3.
How could you learn more about your exchangee and her country before departure back to Japan?
4.
What would you do if your guest did not like certain foods?
5.
What sort of things would you like to do in your spare time while hosting this exchangee?
6.
How would you acquaint your friend with animals?
7.
Would you be willing to share a bedroom if needed?
8.
What might you tell your exchangee about yourself and your family in your letters?
9.
What would you do if your new friend would not participate in any family activities and you do
not know why?
10.
If your family planned a very busy schedule and your exchangee is very tired, what would you
do?
11.
Your friend will probably bring you several gifts. What gifts could you send to Japan with
him/her?
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12.
Americans are commonly viewed as being wealthy. How would you more accurately describe the
average American family?
13.
In what type of community activity would you involve your new friend?
14.
If you and your exchangee have an argument, how will you solve the problem?
15.
If your exchangee asks you to help handle his money, how might you do this?
16.
If your student is showing signs of homesickness, what will you do to ease the problem?
17.
If you unknowingly hurt the feelings of your Japanese friend, how would you try to apologize to
him/her?
18.
What sort of things are you most interested in learning? Sharing?
19.
How will you communicate with your new friend?
IDEAS OF PLACES TO VISIT
Library
Schools
Churches
Capitol—our government
Sports events
Zoo, museums
Picnics or camping
Youth clubs and activities – Don’t forget 4-H!
County fairs
Grocery stores
Department stores
Industry or factories
Watch newspaper for events and ideas
Country, farm, ranch
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CHECKLIST OF SUGGESTIONS
FOR A SUCCESSFUL EXCHANGE
Before arrival.
Visit libraries and read books, browse through oriental information.
Study religion.
Explore Japanese recipes or dine in Oriental restaurants.
Locate delegate’s home on maps and globes.
Familiarize yourselves with government, geography, educational system and family
relationships of Japan.
Establish contact with someone of Japanese heritage.
Correspond with delegate. Ask questions about their lives in these letters. Include:
a floor plan of your home;
your type of employment (describe duties, type of business and so forth);
your interests and hobbies;
your family's vital statistics, size, ages, gender and so forth;
any animals or pets in your home including types, number and names;
the location of your home such as city, rural or suburban; and
pictures of family and home.
Inform your neighbors about an international guest.
Arrange a place in your home for the guest. They need to feel a part of the family.
Separate rooms for summer hosting are not necessary, but they do need to be able to have
separate beds and some privacy at times.
Making plans for special activities and events. Remember, don't over plan and be too
busy. They are here to learn family life styles, not to only sight-see and become
exhausted from touring.
Discuss roles of family members and each one's duties during host's stay.
Discuss:
what will be done to help alleviate homesickness,
discipline, rules, and
ways to overcome the language barrier.
Attend orientation with international coordinator and/or extension educator in your
county or neighboring county.
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Upon arrival.
Pick up your guest on time. Please try not to be late because the exchangees are very
nervous and often times misinterpret tardiness as not wanting to host them.
Bring a frisbee, ball, an Indiana map, pencil and paper with you. Activities and drawing
will help break the ice.
During
Treat your guest as one of the family. Plan a few special events, but don't overwhelm
them.
Expect guest to be somewhat withdrawn or shy, tired and homesick for the first week.
Jet-lag is a big factor in their attitude.
Give guest time to relax, be alone and write home.
Work with delegate on types of souvenirs to take home to their family.
Think of a gift that you will present to guest upon departure. A photo album with pictures
of his stay in America is a great gift.
Allow delegate to have some duties and chores like other members of the family.
Have stamps, postcards and so forth available, if possible, and show your friend how to
mail. The exchangee will enjoy a trip to your local post office.
Explain routines, meal times (3 meals a day, please), how to use the bath and laundry,
daily routine events, house rules.
Have on hand or take guest shopping for soap, toothpaste and daily personal hygiene
supplies.
Find opportunities to learn about their culture. The Japanese love to cook, sew and share
hobbies.
Don't force guest to clean his plate or eat unfamiliar food that he doesn't care for.
Familiarize your guest with pets. Some may be quite frightening and the kids are often
frightened of insects.
Explain customs, birthdays, Christmas and other celebrations.
Use sign language if necessary. Pencil, paper, crayons will help communication skills.
RELAX . . . Don't he afraid of the international experience. Don't over-react to communication
barriers.
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Leaving
Know the luggage weight and regulations. (One suitcase, up to 50 pounds and one carryon per delegate)
Delegate should have a list of purchases and cost for customs.
Continue correspondence.
Send news articles or pictures of the events they showed interest.
Remember birthdays, Christmas, and so forth.
Remember
If you experience problems, whether in language, discipline, etc., please contact your State 4-H
International Programs office, at the number listed on page 5 or your local County Extension
Educator or Coordinator.
Expectations, Knowledge and Understanding
Be sure you understand the program and your role in it. Its purpose is to help establish a better
understanding between peoples of the world. The feeling is that this purpose can best be
accomplished by having the young people live as members of the family. The greater the
understanding between host and exchangee, the greater the contribution toward a more peaceful
world.
A major expectation of the children coming to Japan is that one member of their American
family will be their host brother/sister. This is the person in your family who was matched by
gender and interests to the Japanese youth. Of course, the whole family is involved in the hosting
experience, but the Japanese student will expect their “host” to give them special attention and
share activities.
In order to have global understanding, people must learn to know each other and their lifestyles.
Just as you have an interest in Japan, your exchangee will want to know about the United States.
Questions from your visitor will vary from statistical data to problems of race relations and
foreign policy. “What is the size and population of your state, country, town and community?”
“Why don't you like people whose skin color is different from yours?” “Is it true that in this land
of plenty some people are hungry?” “Show me!” You will find that the exchangee will stimulate
you to think and find out more about your own country. You may be quite surprised to see the
United States through the youth's eyes. You may also be surprised to know how much your
exchangee already knows about American and world events.
You can be ready to answer these questions and more by refreshing your knowledge of the U.S.
Your local library's Americana section and current magazines are fine sources of information
concerning your own section of the United States as well as other parts of the country.
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Your Visitor Arrives
Take the exchangee into your family in much the same way you might receive a niece, nephew
or cousin. The exchangees will undoubtedly arrive a bit travel-worn, curious, somewhat
apprehensive, and perhaps a little homesick. The degree of homesickness and apprehension will
vary with each individual. Don't worry if they are silent; they'll talk more as their feeling of
strangeness wears off. Getting involved as quickly as possible with the family routine may be the
best preventative for homesickness. The exchangees really want to feel like part of the family.
Former Indiana exchanges reported some of the “best things” about their experiences as: “riding
a horse,” “playing water slides and water skiing,” “taking part in the county fair,” “speaking
English,, “to be a real part of American family,” and “The experience to work with my host.”
Be yourself. Be kind. Be considerate. Let your exchangee know that we Americans are just
ordinary people, and not as we may have been portrayed in the movies.
Upon arrival, show your exchangee around the house. Show them the light switches, where to
put their dirty laundry, their bedroom and where to unpack their belongings. Take special care to
go over instructions on how to use the bath and toilet. Cover other items from the Safety
Checklist found in this manual. Repeat the entire process the next day, as the student might
not have understood the first time.
As you show your new family member around your home, remember that our ways are strange
to him/her. Cultural backgrounds are different in every country. Wearing shoes into the house
will be very strange. In Japan, shoes are removed at the door, so your exchangees might be
reluctant to step on your rugs with their shoes on.
It is not necessary for the Japanese children to have their own rooms, although they must have
their own bed or mattress. Most previous exchangees were much happier sharing rooms and
were less likely to become frightened or homesick at night when not all alone in a room.
Special Note: Many Japanese sleep on the floor on mats, so if you have bunk beds, make sure
the exchangee sleeps on the BOTTOM. Don't take a chance on an injury. Accidents have
happened in the past.
It is also important that your exchangee be provided an area which is for his or her own personal
use. Clean out one or two drawers and/or a shelf and indicate that this is for the use of the
exchangee. Provide a safe place for the exchangee to keep his/her passport and medical form. (It
takes at least three weeks to replace a lost passport and the exchangee cannot re-enter Japan
without it.)
Please explain to the exchangee the procedures for operating any home appliances he or she is to
use. You may need to do this three or four times. They are listening, but initially do not always
understand the differences which may exist between their appliances and ours. Speak slowly and
do not shout.
Allow some quiet, uninterrupted time to write letters or journals and for homework. Make him or
her feel at home. Give love and affection, help if needed and accept the student as he or she is.
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To help the Japanese young person adjust to the new time zone and the new family as easily as
possible, the family's regular schedule of sleeping, getting up, meal times, bedtimes, and other
routines should be followed, especially in the first three days of the homestay. Also, no family
trips should be planned for the first three days of the homestay since the Japanese youth are still
tired from their long trip and are still getting used to the new time and climate.
Sleepiness and Time Zone Changes
Your exchangee will probably want to “take it easy” during the first few days in your home.
Provide adequate time for your exchangee to rest. Ask if he or she is “sleepy.” In Japanese, tired
and sleepy mean different things. They are not interchangeable.
Although short naps may be allowed at first, it is very important for the exchangees to adjust to
Indiana time as quickly as possible...and this only occurs by keeping them up and active during
the day so that they will feel tired at night. Therefore, do not allow the need for naps to continue.
If your exchangee feels sleepy, have your kids play with him or her outside or
do something physical. Have your exchangee rise in the morning with the
rest of your family, even if he or she is tired.
Remember that Japan is 13 hours ahead of Indiana time, so day will feel like night and night will
feel like day for your student. Do all you can to assist in the adjustment.
Language
“Without words, a heart communicates with another heart and a person communicates with
another person.” -- 1981 Exchangee.
One common anxiety when hosting a foreign student is how to bridge the language barrier. Your
Japanese son or daughter probably will not speak very much English.
Just remember to relax, speak very slowly, not loudly, use your hands, point
to pictures, use your visitor's dictionary, pantomime, use simple sentences,
smile.
Watch for cues indicating confusion. Clarify whenever possible. The students may have
difficulty with our accents and colloquialisms. Make it apparent that you are eager to help them
learn the language. Many have said that little children are often the best English teachers.
Children are patient and not too polite to correct their errors. Often their English is simpler than
that of adults.
Although the exchangees have studied English through their Meiji Gakuin activities, remember
their mastery of English is still at a beginning level. In addition, they are used to learning English
in a very formal, repetitive setting, and may find conversational English (and the various accent
and dialects found throughout Indiana) very confusing.
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At first, your exchangee may have difficulty understanding and you may wonder if he or she
possesses any English ability at all. As the days pass, the exchangee's language ability improves
and you will find oral language less important, for other methods of communication have begun
working well.
Speaking loudly, but fast, won't help a bit. Make sure they understand you. Their use of the word
“yes” doesn't necessarily mean they've caught the drift. In fact, if they say "yes” too often,
chances are they don't understand what they're agreeing with. They may be trying to be polite or
they're just too tired and “yes” is an easy way out. Such an answer often merely means one is
listening to the speaker's voice. Watch the eyes. They often tell if an exchangee understands or
not.
Watch out for slang and idioms. Even having studied English, one can be baffled by these.
Attempt to remove any unnecessary words from your sentences, such as “you know,” “like,"
“well,” etc. Things should be repeated three or four times and demonstrated.
The success of Indiana host families in working with the exchangee’s language barriers is clear
in these quotes from Japanese participants:
“A host family can understand our poor English.”
“You're very friendly and patient about the language.”
“The host family understood my heart.”
Who Pays For What
Host families are financially responsible for those items which they would normally assume for
their own children. This includes meals, lodging, occasional admission fees for family outings,
and transportation for family and community activities. The exchangees themselves are
responsible for personal expenses including postage, camera film, admission for things where the
children of the family would normally be expected to pay, etc.
Related to both food and money is the occasional problem of the exchangees being expected to
pay for their own meals. This usually happens when the host family goes out to eat, or when they
go to a fair, etc. The Japanese exchange partners and 4-H have agreed that all meals should be
provided by the host families, both in Japan and in the United States. If exchangees have to pay
for their own meals, it severely limits their feeling of being a member of the host family.
Eating
Follow your normal eating pattern, but do let your exchangee know what your family's system
(or lack of!) is. You'll find that fruit may be more welcome than a sweet dessert. Also, steamed
and fresh vegetables will be much appreciated, due to their fiber content...especially since the
exchangee's digestive system can be thrown out of whack by the long journey. In general, the
Japanese eat a much leaner and fiber-filled diet than Americans do.
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In Japan, most children do not prepare food for themselves. They are used to being served their
meals and snacks at regular hours. All food is prepared by their mothers. In Japan, it is also
considered very rude to go into another person's kitchen or to open their refrigerator. Therefore,
Japanese children feel very uncomfortable preparing their own lunches or helping themselves to
food when they want a snack, and many of them don't even know how to make a sandwich.
They may simply do without lunch rather than embarrass themselves. One
family found that leaving a basket or bowl filled with snacks on the counter
was successful. The Japanese student helped themselves to a snack whenever
they were hungry.
Please make sure your exchangee gets enough to eat. Explain your family's customs, make sure
they know what is available for them to eat, show them how to prepare any food that the children
of the household are expected to get for themselves, etc. You may need to explain things several
times before they feel comfortable.
You probably already know that the Japanese eat a lot of rice. However, the exchangees did not
come here to eat rice! So, unless your family regularly eats rice, don't feel obligated to add it to
your menus. Also, it's helpful to know that Japanese rice is sticky, unlike our dry version, so if
you prepare some “American-style”, your exchangee may not recognize it!
Many families try having one night during the exchange designated as
“Japanese Night” - on this occasion, the exchangee prepares a Japanese
dinner, and all members promise to at least try everything!
Some families have found it was interesting to plan special occasions involving food -- a
Thanksgiving menu or dyeing eggs to explain holiday traditions, or making homemade ice
cream. Ovens like ours are not part of Japanese kitchens, so making pastry or bread would be a
novel experience. Canning or freezing some fruits or garden produce, making relish, jams or
jellies are additional suggestions. If some of the canning is done in small enough containers, 3 or
4 jars would be an excellent gift to send back to your guest's family. Be sure the jars are tightly
sealed, well packed and padded to avoid problems at customs inspection.
Food for Thought - and the Tummy too!
Positive food experiences assist those being introduced to a new culture to have a more
satisfying experience. It helps to prevent homesickness, contributes to a sense of well being and
is a more active approach to participating in new activities. In addition to shelter and clothing,
food is essential for all humans before they can turn their attention to other activities.
Through education, host families can be helped to understand that food and food habits are
reflective of a culture and differ from one culture to another. Much comfort is provided to
exchangees when food and food habits become predictable and consistent. For example, how do
you know when a food is considered a snack and is being served because dinner will be late? Or
could it be that you just had your entire meal for the evening and that is really was not a snack?
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Japanese children are used to having mother serve their meals three times a day. These meals
include small servings of many different foods. The food is carefully prepared and presented.
Snacks are small and intended as supplementary food and not to take the place of a meal. The
Japanese are very health and nutrition conscious and recognize food as both an artistic and
nutritious expression.
Since many Japanese exchange students have returned to Japan saying that they were often
hungry, it has become important to consider possible ways that we can improve upon this part of
the exchange. Believe it or not, the key to a successful or poor exchange can very likely be
determined by the quality of the food experience. This fact has been expressed in various tactful
ways by the participants themselves.
Past hosts suggest:
• Serve or provide three meals a day on a consistent basis. Breakfast is especially
important to getting the day off to a good start.
• Use a “blue plate special” form of presentation. This makes it unnecessary to make
choices or to have to ask for a food by its name. The presentation of food is very
important to Japan.
• Don’t assume that the American host youth will see to it that the Japanese guest will be
fed a meal. Make this a specific, detailed responsibility for one person.
• Keep food on hand for both snacks and meals. Relocate foods to the table or counter that
may be eaten as snacks. This avoids having to go into your refrigerator or cupboard - an
act considered impolite in Japan.
• Fast foods may be enjoyed occasionally, but should not be the daily fare.
• When serving food offer small servings, repeat offers of food as the Japanese are used to
declining before finally accepting. Make sure that student does not go away hungry.
• Provide cooked vegetables - they are not used to eating very many raw vegetables.
• Vegetables and salads are considered a part of the breakfast meal.
• Serve meals at regular times and provide snacks when you can’t keep regular time. Make
clear when food is a snack and when it is a meal.
• Involve the exchangee in food preparation and food activities early in the experience so
that he/she is comfortable in the kitchen.
• Take your student to the grocery store. Perhaps they could choose a cereal, snack, fruit or
vegetable that they would like to have.
• When all else fails, try a familiar food such as rice or tea to help get back on track. (that’s
white cooked rice not instant or brown)
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In planning your food experiences don’t forget that you’re not always hungry and that there are
some foods you just don’t like. Your guest will be the same. The Japanese are used to lots of
carbohydrates, fruits, and vegetables as well as much more salt than we are. They are not used to
the amount of high fat and low fiber that we are. In the Japanese diet approximately 20% of the
calories come from fat while the Americans get approximately 35%. Had you considered the
possibility of improving your own family’s diet with this exchange experience? It could be a
real nutrition bonus!
Grace M. Lang, Ph.D., Professor Emeritus Rutgers University, N.J.
The Family Experience
There will be lots of fun! At first, looking at photographs or magazine pictures together provides
many chances for getting across explanations - both ways. Many children's games can be played
with very little explanation. Bring out the jigsaw puzzles. Your exchangee may know some good
card tricks. “Uno” is a popular card game around the world. After a few days together, you'll
most likely not need to search very hard for activities.
Note your exchangee's birthdate. If it falls during your time together, have a birthday celebration.
Expensive gifts are not necessary...a “traditional" American birthday cake will do!
“My family gave a party for me the day before I left.”
“My family celebrated my birthday.”
“We had a birthday party. I got presents - even underwear.”
(Comments from former Japanese exchangees)
Write a letter to the parents of the exchangee while their son or daughter is with you, including,
if possible, pictures of yourselves, your home, and the exchangee in your midst.
Consider the exchangee's visit a family experience. Do not put full responsibility on the children
of your family. Also, remember the exchangee does not have to be baby-sat, entertained or
accompanied every minute. As the exchangee adjusts, he or she will find activities of interest and
may also need the time just to be alone. Our fast-moving pace may be a great strain in addition to
other adjustments. If the exchangee's command of English is still limited, please remember that
the effort to understand and to speak in English leaves one exhausted by the end of the day.
The student may have some difficulty at first in adjusting to a different family time schedule.
The stamina of the exchangees away from home may be less than that of your own children. This
factor, combined with the difference in family roles between the two cultures may present some
difficulties in doing chores. It has been learned, however, that the exchangees feel they are really
part of the family when they share responsibilities or have small, regular tasks assigned to them.
Let the student have the pleasure of helping you in this way. An exchangee commented:
“I did many works of farm - taking care of animals --cattle and sheep, milking a cow.”
One host mom wrote in a journal daily about the exchange and gave it to the
student before he left. This was a wonderful memento.
17
The following general recommendations concerning family life should prove helpful:
•
Explain how you want to handle laundry. Because many Japanese do laundry every day,
and due to luggage restrictions, your exchangee may need clothes washed often.
•
Help your exchangee feel at ease about food. Give permission to “raid the fridge" when
hungry, if the rest of your family does.
•
Give permission to retire to the bedroom when there is a need for privacy. Encourage
him/her to let you know if they are not feeling well.
Explain your family's daily work routine, meals and relaxation, and what you generally do
on weekends.
•
•
Explain that you expect him/her to adhere to the family routine as when you get up, eat,
and go to bed.
•
Explain family rules and expectations.
•
Before going somewhere, be sure to explain where you are going, for how long, what you
will be doing, who will be there, proper dress, and why. Also be sure to explain how long
the car ride will take...imagine how difficult it would be to take a trip or journey and have
no idea whether you'd be in the car for 10 minutes or two hours!
•
Keep him/her informed of schedule a day in advance if possible. He/she may or may not
ask.
•
Be alert to any clothing needs and lend warmer or older clothing, if appropriate. Try to
explain to the exchangee why you are offering different clothing so he or she does not feel
embarrassed as though a mistake has been made.
Vacation Procedures
Short trips for shopping or recreation are allowed. We do not allow long vacation trips (more
than 10 days) as this is not in keeping with the goals of the program.
All travel must be reported to Purdue University 4-H International Programs:
- Dates of your trip
- Your Destination
- Phone number where you can be reached while away, or in the event of no phone
(i.e. camping), the number of someone who can reach you for us in case of emergency.
18
Your exchangee will need his or her passport to travel to the Mexico and Canada and back into
the U.S. When leaving the U.S., normal procedure is for the immigration official to check the
passport and to remove the I-94 form, which is stapled to your exchangee's passport (although
sometimes the official just waves you on). If the I-94 is removed, your exchangee will have to
complete a new one when re-entering the U.S. The I-94 is not difficult to complete, but to
simplify matters, please make a photocopy of the I-94 form before going to Canada or
Mexico, so that you will find it easy to fill out a new I-94 if required.
Community Activities
“I enjoyed the county fair.”
“My family took me to a wedding.”
“I met many 4-H'ers at 4-H camp.”
“I enjoyed playing softball with 4-H'ers.”
“I had my picture in the newspaper.”
(Comments from former Japanese exchangees)
Keep in mind the community activities which may be of interest to your exchangee. After
arrival, introduce your new family member to the life of your community -- where you shop, buy
or sell your food products, where the host father and/or mother works, where the children go to
school, your 4-H club, and other community organizations. A county fair, parade, community
celebration, a wedding, or a picnic, can be very interesting events to share.
Don't forget to visit the newspaper office, radio and television station and the library. All of these
give the idea of how an American community functions. You may want to take your visitor to a
drive-in movie. They've heard of them, but perhaps have not seen them, as space in Japan in
limited. Try to think of other such "everyday things” that might interest your visitor. Many
exchangees from big cities comment of the wonder of simply listening to the hum of crickets or
laying on the ground at night and looking up at a sky full of stars!
The Persieds is a meteor shower that can be viewed every year. It is possible to
spot five meteors per hour at the beginning of August and perhaps 15 per hour by
August 10. The meteors rapidly increase to a peak of 50-80 per hour by the night
of August 12/13 and then rapidly decline to about 10 per hour by August 15.
19
SAFETY CHECKLIST
READ THIS CAREFULLY WITH ALL FAMILY MEMBERS BEFORE YOUR
EXCHANGEE ARRIVES
POST THIS LIST IN A PROMINENT PLACE DURING THE EXCHANGE
ALCOHOL/SMOKING
* DO NOT ALLOW YOUR EXCHANGEE TO CONSUME ALCOHOL OR SMOKE
DURING THE HOMESTAY.
RECREATIONAL AND MOTORIZED VEHICLES
*
*
DO NOT ALLOW YOUR EXCHANGEE TO RIDE OR DRIVE ANY TYPE OF
MOTORIZED VEHICLE. In the past, children have been seriously injured on such vehicles
such as 4-wheelers, motorcycles, go-carts, etc. Exchangees are not allowed to drive cars,
motorcycles, or any motorized vehicles. They are not covered by insurance for such activities.
Bicycle brakes may be different (Japanese bicycles only have hand brakes.) Because of
different traffic patterns, extreme caution should be used.
HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES
*
Explain and demonstrate how household appliances work, hazards of using them, and safety
precautions. Be sure to include: stove, refrigerator, dishwasher, toaster, washing machine,
dryer, garbage disposal, trash compactor, microwave, smoke detector, fan, etc.
FOOD
*
*
Explain your family’s customs about snacking. If applicable, tell the exchangee that it is OK to
open the fridge and have snacks. (In Japan, it is considered extremely rude to open someone
else’s fridge or to help yourself to food from their kitchen.)
If no adult will be home to prepare a meal, make sure your exchangee knows how to prepare
the meal him/herself.
SHOWER
*
*
*
*
Show your exchangee how to combine the hot and cold water to get an even temperature.
Make sure the student understands that the shower curtain must be inside the tub, and that water
should not be thrown on the bathroom floor.
Explain that Americans usually do not take long showers.
Japanese youth will probably shut the bathroom door when they leave. This is a
Japanese custom. They may knock on the door while someone is in there. If so, just
knock back – that lets them know someone is using the facilities. You may have to
help your Japanese youth with the length of time they spend in the bathroom. In Japan,
the stool and tub are in separate rooms so they can stay as long as they like to in the tub.
Some Japanese youth use the bathroom as a place to escape to be alone.
20
FARM EQUIPMENT
*
*
Explain safety precautions - moving parts, power take-off, gasoline, sharp blades, etc.
Exchangees MAY NOT drive any motorized vehicle, including farm equipment.
FARM ANIMALS AND HOUSEHOLD PETS
*
Japanese children have had little experience with farm animals or large household pets. If the
student will be around animals, someone should be along to make sure he/she handles them
correctly and safely.
BUNK BEDS
*
If used, the student is only permitted to sleep on the lower bunk.
FIRE EXITS
*
Show how to get out of the house in case of fire.
LIGHT SWITCHES
*
Show your exchangee where the light switches are located and how to use them.
TRAFFIC
*
*
*
In Japan, cars are driven on the left side of the road.
Explain right-hand driving. Tell the student to always look both ways before crossing the street
(taking care to look especially to the LEFT) and to walk, not run across streets.
In Japan, cars will stop for pedestrians in a crosswalk. Explain that in America this does not
happen and more care must be taken when crossing the street. The exchangee must be alert!
GUN SAFETY
*
Keep all firearms LOCKED AWAY, or otherwise inaccessible to the exchangees. Instruct the
student not to touch them under any circumstances.
PLANE RIDES
*
Small plane rides are permitted only if the pilot is properly licensed. In all other cases, the
exchangee is not covered by insurance.
WATER SKIING
*
Japanese children probably have had no experience with water skiing. Children under 16 are
discouraged from water skiing, and older members should do so only under strict supervision
and only if they fully understand the proper procedures and rules.
21
LAWN MOWERS
*
It is acceptable for exchangees over 16 to help mow the lawn using hand-pushed mowers only
(motorized LAWN mowers are not permitted). Extreme care should be given to make sure
he or she understands the machine and lawn mower safety. Adult supervision is required.
FIREWORKS
*
If fireworks will be used, care should be given to ensure that the exchangee understands all
necessary safety precautions. Students should not set off firecrackers themselves.
Special Permission Required For...
Each year, some exchangees beg to have their ears pierced or make other such changes.
Permission from the Japanese parents is required for:
Piercing (ears and other)
Permanent Waves (perms)
Hair Color
Tattoos
(Perms are highly discouraged since most Japanese schools prohibit them.)
Permission may be granted by writing to the Japanese parents and asking for written permission
in return. Normal haircuts do not require permission unless they are quite a drastic change.
Differences in Bathing...an Important Custom to Understand!
Avoid possible misunderstanding with details such as use of the bathroom. The difference in
actual bathing facilities as well as bathing manners and habits is surprising. Bathing in Japan is a
leisurely activity of almost ritual-like proportions; not just a process by which a person becomes
clean. This subject has caused great apprehension among the exchangees.
The toilet in Japan is a separate room from the bath. Baths are called ofuros. They are deep and
square and the user sits immersed in very hot water up to his neck. The actual washing is done
beforehand, in a shower area outside the tub, with the soapy water splashing all over the tile
floor. When the soap has all been carefully washed off, the user then soaks in the hot water. No
soapy scum accumulates and the bather feels very clean. Typically, a whole family will use the
same bath water since all bathers are clean.
Be sure to explain to your exchangee that we wash in the tub and that the water should be
drained after each bath. If taking a shower, please explain carefully that the shower curtain goes
inside the tub. Show him or her how to operate the hot and cold faucets and the shower spray.
Warn against stepping into the shower, then turning on the water, and risk being scalded. Also
inform your visitor of a limited hot water supply, if that is the case. The Japanese are used to
very long and very hot showers. Reassure him or her that the water can run for the duration of a
shower lasting “X" number of minutes.
22
Most Japanese-style toilets are built into the floor, and this style is the preference of most older
Japanese. Many “Western” style toilets have now been installed in Japan, however, so your
exchangee will be familiar with them. Toilets in Japan are usually flushed both before and after
use.
Customary procedure for using an American bathroom should be explained to the exchangee. In
Japan, the bathroom door is kept closed even when it is not in use. In the United States,
however, the door is usually left open when it is not in use as a clue to future users that it is
available. Also, the Japanese lock the door when using the bathroom. Generally in the United
States we rely on the closed door alone to signal the bathroom is in use. Try not to be offended if
your exchangee uses these different customs, and make special efforts to adjust.
For Host Families of Female Exchangees
Depending on their age, some female exchangees may be on their monthly periods during the
homestay. Please show your exchange daughter where menstrual supplies are kept and how they
should be disposed of. Emphasize, if appropriate, not to flush them down the toilet. The brand of
sanitary napkins called “Always” (in the individual, folded pouches) are the most similar to what
a girl might use in Japan. Girls in Japan are given information about the menstrual cycle during
the sixth grade, or their mothers might have already explained it to them. However, as in
America, not all Japanese mothers are as thorough as they should be on this topic. Please ensure
that your exchangee feels informed and comfortable with your procedures. A female adult
chaperone may be telephoned to assist with translations if necessary.
Gifts
The Japanese have many customs regarding exchanging gifts. A gift will probably be presented
to you upon the exchangee's arrival and you will undoubtedly want to present him or her with a
memento of your time together as a family. Keep it small; it is the spirit of the gift that is
important.
Personalized gifts are far more appropriate than those of material value. Also, much more
important than material gifts are the ideas and frame of mind your visitor takes home. If your
exchangee is returning to Japan with greater confidence and a deeper cross-cultural
understanding, he or she has been enriched indeed. If you would be generous, be generous by
respecting Japan, valuing its history and achievements, and trying to understand its problems. Be
generous in admitting to yourself and to your exchangee that we are not perfect, that there is
much room for improvement in our own life—that we have much to learn, too.
A photograph, a book, 4-H items, a hand-sewn or hand-crafted item, perfumed soap, jewelry, and
items unique to Indiana are suitable. For gift ideas, watch to see which things your exchangee
admires, buys, or collects for gift ideas. Remember the exchangee has limited suitcase space and
a luggage weight limit.
23
PLEASE NOTE: The items listed below should NOT BE GIVEN as gifts, even if they are
intended for the Japanese parents. They are forbidden from entering Japan:
Raw Food (dried or canned is okay)
Alcohol
Tobacco
Firearms
Knives
Gun Powder
Fireworks
Live Plants or Animals
Dirt
Seeds
Ideas for the student who has everything: tape his or her favorite television shows on
DVD/videotape or create a “photo-diary” of your student's experience...this may be the most
meaningful gift you could give him AND his family in Japan. Include pictures of activities,
places and fun things you did around home during his stay.
You will probably wish to send a small gift back for each member of the exchangee's household.
Check your information sheet to see if a grandparent lives with the family, as is very common in
Japan.
Exchangees will wish to shop for gifts and souvenirs to take home. They always look for things
made in America! Try to allow them time for this activity. A good place to shop would be a craft
show and sale. Assist them in this. We typically do not provide time to shop during the departure
activities.
Your Exchangee's Money
The exchangees are not supposed to bring much money with them (under $250.00). Some may
have more, some may have less. Some teens have been quite careless about leaving their money
around, since they are used to Japan, a country where theft is rare. Be alert.
Your exchangee will bring money in a combination of cash and traveler's cheques. Traveler's
checks are sometimes difficult to cash in stores and banks in small towns. You may have to
travel to a larger bank in a larger town to do so. Your exchangee must have his or her passport
in order to have a traveler's check cashed.
You may want to sit down with the exchangee at the beginning of the homestay and help them
budget their spending money—advise them on prices in America, find out what they want to
buy, and so on. The host parents may also want to designate a safe spot for the student to keep
his or her money, passport and other valuables.
Each student may take $400 worth of combined goods back into Japan without paying duty.
Anything above the allowed $400 requires duty which varies with the items. If you have
questions about your exchangee taking items back to Japan, please ask.
24
Participating in 4-H Camp or Other Camps
If your 4-H camp falls during the exchange period and you can arrange for the Japanese student
to participate with your youth, please do so. The Japanese partners and 4-H strongly encourage
camp participation, as past participants who have had this opportunity were quite enthusiastic.
However, experience has shown that it is essential that the youth spend the first few days in your
home recovering from "jet lag," and we ask that no exchangee be taken directly to camp upon
arrival. Please phone the 4-H International Programs Office at Purdue if you have such a
situation so that we can discuss options.
If your youth will be attending a camp this summer and you expect the Japanese student to
attend, you must request permission through the 4-H International Programs Office at Purdue.
We need to direct the request through the proper channels. If you have questions about this,
please contact the 4-H International Programs office. Camp requests should be made
immediately.
Please write to your exchangee in advance and tell him or her a little about the camp experience;
what to expect, necessary clothes and other items, dates, times, daily schedules, expectations, etc.
The more they know in advance, the more secure they will feel at camp!
Summer Camp Arrangements
If you are planning camp experiences for your children, the Japanese delegate can also
participate. Reasonable camp fees for the Japanese delegate are covered only with prior
approval.
You must notify the State Office if your exchangee will be attending camp.
How Do I Get Permission For The Exchangee To Attend Camp?
1. Fill out the proper camp attendance forms and send a copy, along with a written request, to
the 4-H International Programs Office.
2. You will be notified that the request has been approved. At that point, you should pay for the
camp fees. Send a copy of the check or a receipt of payment to the 4-H International
Programs Office.
3. The 4-H International Programs Office will arrange for you to be reimbursed by Purdue
University.
If you have questions…ask!
25
THE NEED TO ADJUST
One concern often mentioned by the Japanese exchangee is: “I don't like to see my host family
fighting and yelling.”
Although you should be aware that this aspect of your lifestyle may be difficult for your
exchangee, there is no need to drastically alter your patterns. In America, children are much
more outspoken with their parents than in Japan. This can be interpreted by the Japanese
exchangees as a lack of respect. By the end of the exchange, however, they come to realize that it
is our culture's way of encouraging independent thinking.
Basically, your family should follow the usual routine so your exchangee can learn to understand
you. Cultural differences, however, may require some adjustments on both sides. This is the
essence of the experience. Exchanges are two-way streets to improve understanding of ourselves
and others. As a host family, you are the key to such understanding because the visitor has the
opportunity to learn about a different way of life by living it with you. Your language may be
limited, but remember, “actions speak louder than words."
We do have an occasional disappointing experience for a family or for a student. In these cases,
neither party is “bad” or “wrong.” Think of the exchange experience as a blind date...sometimes it
works and sometimes it doesn't! Fortunately, though, your chances are much better as a host
family than on a blind date; bad hosting experiences are very rare. Should problems be
developing, contact your International County Coordinator, county extension educator, or the 4-H
International Programs Office at Purdue University. The adult chaperones are also available to
help with misunderstandings.
About Religion
The Orient is predominantly Buddhist, and Japan is no exception. The Buddhist religion spread
from India through Southeast Asia and China, and came to Japan in the 6th century AD. In
addition to the Buddhist beliefs, there were native Shinto beliefs already in Japan. They were
compatible and complimentary to each other, and so today one finds both Buddhist temples and
Shinto shrines throughout Japan. They are visited frequently, though not on a once-a-week basis.
Rather, these visits are usually for special occasions (i.e., special holidays, festivals, etc.) and for
specific life ceremonies (i.e., weddings, funerals, the equivalent of christenings soon after the
birth of a child etc.). Many Japanese families have small shrines in their homes. There are also a
number of Christian denominations in Japan.
Feel free to discuss religion, but do not argue or try to convert your exchangee. This is a
program of understanding—not trying to prove who is right or wrong. One visitor reported,
before leaving this country, that the only thing he did not like about his visit was having a host
family try to convert him to their religion. He, too, is proud of his religion.
26
Your exchangee will probably want very much to visit your church with your family. However,
if after the first visit, he or she declines to participate, we request that you do not insist. Religion
is a very personal issue. One way to understand an exchangee's possible reluctance is to imagine
your own child in a foreign country, not feeling comfortable going to a worship service at a
Buddhist shrine. Also, because of the language barrier, church services are sometimes difficult or
frustrating for exchangees to understand.
Since your visitor may not know the ritual etiquette involved, please explain such things so the
experience is not uncomfortable or embarrassing. (e.g. taking off hats, special arrangements,
when to sit, stand, kneel, etc.) He or she will also need to be told what types of clothes are
appropriate for your church. You may want to include this in a letter in advance, so that the
proper types of clothing are brought on the trip.
SOME AREAS OF CROSS-CULTURAL DIFFERENCES
Although this list is not exhaustive, it includes some of the delicate areas of cross-cultural
differences which have sometimes caused frustrations for past host families and exchangees. The
important thing is not to change your lifestyle or expect the exchangees to change theirs; but
rather, for both sides to understand and respect the differences and to do what they can to
accommodate each other.
Touching
Physical touching is not as common in Japan as it is in the U.S., even among close family
members. Your Japanese student may feel “stiff” when you hug him or her, and may not feel
comfortable expressing affections physically in return. This does not mean that his or her heart is
not full of affection and gratitude; they simply have a different way of showing it. But don't let
that discourage you from hugging! This is a “cross-cultural” gift you can give your student.
Homesickness, Writing Home and Telephoning Home
The exchangees are usually very disciplined concerning these issues. They tend to not get
homesick because they have been preparing for the experience for so long and because they wish
to fulfill the expectations of their Japanese families. They feel that they are only in America for a
short time, so they shouldn't concentrate on homesickness or writing letters. Also, the children
have been strictly instructed not to telephone their parents in Japan during the homestay.
Telephone conversations typically only intensify feelings of homesickness. Even if your
exchangee has a telephone calling card, and even if he or she promises to reimburse you for the
call, please do not allow it.
27
INDIANA 4-H INTERNATIONAL PROGRAMS
REVIEW LIST
1.
Collect medical form and passport (if student wants you to keep in safe place) immediately
upon arrival in home. Always carry medical release with you when traveling!
2.
Please contact your county coordinator or 4-H International Programs Office anytime a
problem comes up that you feel uncomfortable with or need assistance. Remember, small
problems are easily resolved if handled while they are still small.
3.
Everything will be totally unfamiliar and strange to your exchangee. Please treat him/her as
you would want your own child treated if he were in Japan.
4.
The mothers and fathers in Japan are anxious and often nervous about sending their child to
America and to an unfamiliar environment. Please help them overcome this anxiety by
writing them after your exchangee arrives at your home.
5.
Talk very slowly. Draw pictures, write things down, and use your hands. You will not have
a communication problem if you use a creative approach to communicating. Please do not
become frustrated or discouraged if your message doesn't come across easily. Many
Japanese youth become exhausted from the constant effort of trying to communicate and
will often say yes even when they mean no just to avoid having to translate it again and
again. Each delegate will have a Japanese/English dictionary – insist that you use it
together to achieve successful communication.
6.
Your delegate has arrived in Indiana 2 to 3 days prior to arriving in your home. This should
help rid them of some of the jet lag they may be experiencing.
7.
It may take a few days to adjust to our sleeping hours. Japan is 13 hours ahead of us so they
have lost almost a full day. If they stay awake at night until 2:00 a.m. or 3:00 a.m., that is
not unusual. Not only because of the time change but, many Japanese children study until
that hour every morning in Japan. We encourage them to be quiet and to read or write,
while some may have studies to do while in America.
8.
Most of the teens will be of Shinto or Buddhist religion. Please feel free to include them in
your church activities, but don't be disappointed if they are less than enthusiastic. Some
love church and others don't care for it. Remember, they may not understand what is being
said so you might want to encourage them to take paper and pencil for writing.
9.
The Japanese teens should not ride on motorcycles and they are not allowed to drive any
motorized vehicle.
28
10.
Medical Emergency - Contact the county coordinator or 4-H International Programs Office
anytime the Japanese exchangee becomes ill or injured. Take him/her to the doctor or
hospital.
11.
Homesickness. The Indiana delegates who travel to Japan suggest the following steps to
help prevent or overcome homesickness. Keep the exchangee busy; if she/he is showing
signs of homesickness, occupy his/her time by playing board games, inviting friends over,
bicycle riding or a car trip to the market.
Common symptoms of homesickness are withdrawal, staying in bedroom, and refusing to
participate. Crying and irritability are also symptoms. This can be difficult for some
international exchangees to overcome.
12.
Chores. Boys in Japan do very few chores, if any. Girls do some around the home. The
Japanese teens spend a great deal of time studying for high school and university entrance
exams. If your child does chores, then so should your Japanese delegate.
13.
If you must scold your Japanese teen, please tell them why they are being scolded.
Japanese parents rarely raise their voices so be aware that yelling at exchangees might
frighten them.
14.
When teens buy gifts it would be appreciated if you could assist them in keeping a record
of purchases for customs. Ask the delegate who they need to buy for at the beginning of the
homestay and you will be able to guide him/her better during the four weeks.
15. Vacations. One of the requirements of this program is that you report your destination and
phone number to the 4-H International Programs Office when leaving for more than two
days. Please remember that if an emergency would come up in Japan, we would need to
know where the Japanese teen is so we could contact him immediately.
Non-Verbal Gestures
Gestures have different meanings in every region of the world. If your exchangee makes a
gesture which is considered obscene in our culture, gently explain this to him or her.
Occasionally, we receive calls from host families who are distraught or hurt over an obscene
gesture. In most cases, the exchangee did not understand the offensive nature of the gesture.
Eye Contact
Eye contact in many Asian countries is considered a sign of disrespect or arrogance. Try not to
be frustrated if your exchangee will not “look you in the eye.”
29
Children's Roles in Japan
In Japanese society, getting a good education is the most important responsibility of children. They study
very hard, and often do 5+ hours of homework each night. For this reason, they are not expected to carry
the same load of household chores as their American counterparts. Their mothers usually take care of all
of their physical needs so that they may concentrate on their studies. In particular, Japanese children
rarely prepare their own food. If your Japanese student has difficulty remembering to do a chore you give
him or her, it is most likely due to “lack of practice” rather than a bad attitude. Work with your student to
remind him that in our culture, every member of the family contributes to the workings of the household.
Boyfriends and Girlfriends
If you are hosting an older exchangee, and your own child has a boyfriend or girlfriend, you will want to
be sensitive to make sure that your exchangee does not feel left out. The delegate should not be sitting
home alone every night while the American host is out with a boyfriend or girlfriend. At the same time,
the American youth must feel that he or she still has a chance to spend some private time with the
boyfriend or girlfriend. Teens in Japan do not get as serious with boyfriends and girlfriends at so young
an age as we do here in America. They may be surprised by such serious relationships.
Making Choices
In Japan, it is considered impolite to ask a guest to make any choices. It is the role of the host to think
about what the guest would want and to provide it. However, in America, it is considered polite for a host
to give their guests as many choices as possible.
This may help explain why the Japanese students may feel overwhelmed by the myriad choices they are
expected to make in America -- for example—”What would you like to drink...milk, soft drink, or juice?”
or “How do you want your eggs cooked?” or “What would you like for supper?” or even “Would you like
seconds?” This also helps explain why, when the 4-H'ers go to Japan, they are not given choices. They are
simply given something, or told what to do.
The Japanese organization does not recommend that host families change their customs, but it may help if
host families offer some guidance to their exchangee if they are obviously having problems making up
their mind on various topics.
JAPANESE AND AMERICAN CULTURE
Although we tend to think that human beings are basically the same all over the world, there are some
cultural differences which can lead to problems if misunderstood.
In the case of Japan and America, many of these differences are centered around the concepts described in
this handbook. What is important to understand about these differences is that the exchange experience
can broaden us to refrain from automatically assigning a negative value to ideas or actions which are
foreign to us. Seen from the other person’s cultural background, these “foreign” ideas are perfectly
natural! In the same way, a visitor to the U.S. might have trouble understanding some of our customs until
they see things from our background and point of view.
30
If you are troubled by something your exchangee is doing, try to look at the motive behind the action
before making a value judgment. For example, a Japanese student's inability to fix himself lunch is not
necessarily a sign of immaturity, but rather a result of that culture's strong emphasis on academic
performance, which is considered a student's main responsibility. In the same way, an American youth's
informal relationship with his parents is not necessarily a sign of disrespect, but may be reflecting an
attempt at fostering an open communication climate where all family members feel valued.
You may find that your Japanese son or daughter has a different way of showing respect, enjoyment,
comprehension, and a multitude of other emotions. Vivid display of emotion is not a Japanese
characteristic, so try to be patient. If your exchangee is quiet, he or she may still be very happy! Try to
learn and watch for different ways of showing happiness.
Seen from the context of different histories, resources, and influences, it is easier to understand a different
way of doing things. This two-way sharing of culture is just what the exchange program is all about!
CHARACTERISTICS OF JAPANESE SOCIETY
Because of Japan's unique geographical location, natural resources and history, the Japanese people have
distinctive character traits. Although on the surface Japan looks very Westernized, the people remain
distinctly Japanese.
Some of the outstanding characteristics of Japanese people are their group mentality, the influence of
nature on Japanese life, and the Japanese people's sense of discipline and organization.
The following chart compares some aspects of, and causes of, Japanese and Western character. Please be
aware that the list gives only broad generalizations.
(By “Western”, we are referring to European and American people, most of whom share a common
cultural, linguistic, religious, and historical background.)
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JAPANESE PEOPLE
WESTERN PEOPLE
GROUP MENTALITY
INDIVIDUALISTIC
As in most rice-growing societies, the rights of
the GROUP have traditionally been more
important than INDIVIDUAL rights. Rice
growing is done in groups, and people must
cooperate and not be selfish, or everybody will
starve. The GROUP MENTALITY is still very
strong in Japan, and individualism is not
encouraged.
Early people in Western countries were generally
nomadic hunters, roaming their vast continents in
small tribes. Survival depended on their strength
and cleverness. As Western civilization developed,
INDIVIDUAL RIGHTS and FREEDOMS were
considered to be the foundations of society.
ADAPT TO NATURE
PROTECT FROM NATURE
Because Shinto gods live in nature, people
traditionally did not fight nature, but adapted to
their surroundings. All aspects of Japanese life
are influenced by the change of seasons, and
certain natural events (for example the Spring
and Autumn Equinox are national holidays)!
Western people have traditionally viewed nature as
an enemy--as something to protect themselves
against, and something to sway to their will. For
example, Western houses have traditionally been
built as “fortresses.” Their thick walls and small
windows and doors have kept nature out.
JAPAN IS AN 'ISLAND COUNTRY'
MULTI-CULTURAL/MULTI-RACIAL
Except for a few small minorities, the Japanese
are the same race, they speak the same language,
and they share a common history, religion, and
customs. The sea has long been a natural barrier
against interactions with foreigners. But since
1868, when the Japanese started to interact again
with foreign countries, they have had to learn
how to get along with people who are different.
There are many cultures, races, and religions in the
West. Countries have their own distinct feature, but
trade between nations was common, and people
became used to sharing ideas and experiences with
people who look different, speak a different
language, and have different beliefs.
DISCIPLINE AND ORGANIZATION
“TAKE IT EASY”
Japan's high population density, group
mentality, and lack of natural resources has
resulted in great discipline and organization.
People are brought up to cooperate with and
obey authority. They work hard and
conscientiously not only for their own sake, but
for the benefit of their group—their family,
company, and country. The Japanese are much
more willing to set aside their personal desires
for the well-being and harmony of their group.
Because of the emphasis on individual happiness
and individual rights, and also because of the
generous natural resources and low population
density, Western people are generally more relaxed
and easy-going than Japanese. Westerners are less
willing to accept authority or to discipline
themselves to do things they don't want to do,
simply for the sake of 'group harmony.'
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MORE MAJOR DIFFERENCES BETWEEN U.S. AND JAPAN
JAPAN
2
Land size (1000 km )
(1000 mi2)
Ethnic groups
Religion (millions)
Language*7 (No. of letters)
(top to bottom and
right to left)
Society
Food
Climate
Natural disasters
Buildings/environment
Homes/nature
Color preferences
Behavior
Size preference
Dress
Music
Units of measure
Currency
Traffic
Natural resources
Agricultural products
Labor union members
Unionization rate
Practicing attorneys
Marriage/divorce rate
University entrance rate
378
(146)
Isolated Islands
Practically one
Shinto 2 (98.35?)
Buddhist 16 (87.86?)
Christian 0.7 (0.97?)
Kanji-3000
Hirangana-46 syllables
Katakana-46 syllables
Group Consciousness
*importance attached to
personal relationships
*respect for elders
*elders held in high esteem
*survive with harmony
Traditionally vegetarian plus
fish
Humid (esp. in June, July)
Earthquakes, typhoons, fires
Co-exist in harmony with
nature
“Middle zone” important
(engawa)
Grey, dull, earth tones
Ambiguous but polite
Compact can be beautiful
Decorative/Non-functional
Melancholy
gr, cm, km, C
Yen
Left side
Very poor
Dependent upon imports
12.56 million
30.5%
12,500 (private)
6.6(m) 1.39(d)
35%
33
U.S.A.
9,363
(3,615)
Large continent
Practically every
Christian
Jew
Other
Alphabet-26
(left to right)
Individual consciousness
*Progress achieved through
competition
*Respect for wealth and
*Power *Youth oriented
*Survival of the fittest
Mainly carnivorous
Rather dry
Tornado, hurricane, flood
Exist to tame or conquer
nature
Nature either brought inside
or left outside
Bright colors
Clear-cut yes/no, frank
Big is powerful
Active and sporty
Cheerful, lively
lb, in, mi, F
Dollar and cents
Right side
Very rich
Self-sufficient
20.246 million
23.6%
6000,000
10.6(m) 5.3(d)
estimated about 50%
Telling Time
Like many European countries (and the armed forces in the U.S.) the Japanese often tell time on
the 24-hour clock. This means the new day begins after midnight and the hours are numbered
consecutively through 24. (You do not start over after 12 noon.)
If it is 2:00 p.m., the time is
on a
24-hour clock. If it is 11:00 a.m., the time is
on a 24-hour clock. If it is 11:00
p.m., the time is
on a 24-hour
clock.
JAPANESE TRIVIA
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
How many major islands are there in Japan?
How many small islands are there in Japan?
Japan is about the size of what state?
What type of storm sweeps over Japan from August to October?
What was the first religion of Japan?
What is the code of moral behavior based on the teachings of a Chinese
scholar which many Japanese follow?
How many children do most Japanese families have?
How many school days are there per week in Japan?
What is the art of folding brightly colored and printed paper into shapes?
What is the national sport of Japan?
What is the Japanese game similar to chess?
What is the raising of miniature trees and flowers called?
What are soft woven mats that Japanese floors are made of?
What is the name for the thick, cotton mattress?
What ceremony did the Zen Buddhists introduce to Japan?
What is the Japanese unit of currency?
What is Japanese fencing called?
What is the most popular western sport in Japan?
What is the Japanese bath called?
Which direction do the Japanese read from?
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4
About 3,000
Montana
Typhoons
Shintoism
Confucianism
1 or 2
5 1/2
Origami
Sumo (wrestling)
Shogi
Bonsai
Tatami
Futon
Tea ceremony
Yen
Kendo
Baseball
Ofuro
Left to right
21.
22.
23.
24.
What famous American mouse do the Japanese love?
Fish or vegetables dipped in batter and fried in deep fat?
The utensil the Japanese eat with?
What are the passenger trains of the Japanese National Railroad which can
travel at 210 kilometers per hour (130 mph) called?
25. Name three Japanese motorcycle manufacturers:
26. Name three Japanese auto manufacturers:
27. The Japanese national flower.
28. The elevated wooden sandals, traditional Japanese footwear.
29. Traditional Japanese garment.
30. What is a staple of the Japanese diet, used in making Sushi and grown in
paddies?
31. Under what emperor did Japan begin to westernize and modernize?
32. What U.S. admiral forced the Japanese to trade with western countries in
1853?
Mickey Mouse
Tempura
Ohashi/chopsticks
Shinkansen
or “Bullet Trains”
Yamaha
Honda
Kawasaki
Honda
Toyota
Nissan
Sakura or
Cherry blossoms
Geta
Kimono
Rice
Meiji
Perry
HELPFUL LANGUAGE HINTS
from a previous host family…
1. Your exchange probably knows more English than he/she lets on. They need encouragement
to use it, and the best way is for the host children to be willing to try to learn Japanese. As
often as possible, ask for the Japanese word and try to repeat it. Exchangees are more willing
to make mistakes in pronunciation if you make mistakes with their language. Being an
enthusiastic learner of their language is the best way to encourage them to use ours.
2. Most English/Japanese dictionaries are written in letters rather than Japanese symbols.
Although Japanese can decipher the words, because they know the letter sounds, this is not a
natural way for them to read their own language. They may find it difficult.
3. We found that when pronunciation was difficult on a word the exchange wanted to
communicate, it was helpful for him/her to spell the word (in English) into our hand. By
saying and drawing the letter at the same time, the problem of saying alphabet sounds with
an accent is circumvented.
4. Japanese do not have a sound for our “L” or “R”. If you’re having difficulty with a work
they say, you can guess where the L or R belongs, and sometimes get it. Also, each Japanese
syllable generally ends with a vowel. If the exchange says a word you can’t decipher, take
off a final vowel, and you may get it (eg. Bas-sa-ke-to – basket, schoo-lo-school). They just
add the extra vowels because they sound natural to them. It’s just like McDonalds is spelled
the same, but pronounced ma-ca-do-no-la-do. All those extra vowels just fall into the word.
35
5. Let your student know that you think he/she is making good progress in learning English, and
that you like it when they try because you can learn more about their country when they talk
about it.
…Thanks to Joann Boruvka
1990 Host Mother
WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS
Most families find many ways to communicate. Gestures, smiles and a Japanese/English
dictionary are all helpful. Few families have any difficulty. However, if there does seem to be a
problem and all else fails…these phrases may help. Please try to use them only as a last resort –
part of the joy (and challenge) of an international exchange is learning new ways to
communicate.
Remember the Japanese chaperones and 4-H staff are here to help you. Never hesitate to
contact us should you need assistance.
SOME COMMON QUESTIONS ABOUT THE
4-H/JAPANESE EXCHANGE
PREPARATION AND ARRIVAL
Why do the kids arrive during 4-H Fair time, and stay (in some cases) until after my child has
started school?
Japanese youth have approximately five weeks vacation from school; mid-July through mid-August.
Their visit to the USA depends on their school schedule. They leave as soon as school is out and return
just before it begins again. County fairs occur at many different times and it would be impossible to
avoid all of them. If possible, let them experience school and the fair.
Will my exchangee be able to speak English? How will we communicate?
The English level of the exchangees varies widely. All of them have studied English, but many lack
experience in speaking it. Jet lag and shyness can make this more pronounced. To help communication,
speak slowly and don’t shout. Use as few words as possible, such as "We go shopping ." instead of "It's
time for us to go downtown, to the mall, and the post office." She/he may be shy and reluctant to use
his/her English, even if it is fairly good. You may find that he/she is answering "yes" to your questions
even if they are not understood. Don’t be afraid to use hand motions and a dictionary. Encourage them to
speak English to you. Help him/her learn by saying "I want a glass of water," before you give him/her
one. Most Japanese youth communicate through their heart.
My exchangee wrote a letter in excellent English. Does this mean that she speaks English well?
Possibly not. They usually write much better than the speak. So don't be surprised if he/she talks more
hesitantly than he/she wrote.
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What will the first few days of the visit be like? Should I plan lots of activities?
Your guest will arrive very tired from travel, and will be on a totally different time zone (13 hours ahead
of us.) Exchangees will have stayed at Purdue for two nights prior to meeting their host families.
Do not plan lots of actives or any major trips for the first few days. On the other hand, do not let him/her
sleep all day, as you want to help them adjust to local time.
Will my exchangee bring gifts? Will I be expected to reciprocate?
Most exchangees arrive with many gifts for their host families. Sometimes they are presented right away,
sometimes later. If you wish to give your delegate a gift, they like anything with English writing, such as
pencils, t-shirts, caps, and any souvenirs of Indiana and the US.
Gifts most appreciated are things that a person has made oneself (light and small things are
recommended.) Some host families have put together photo albums with pictures of their homes and
communities, and of the family and friends during the visit, for him/her to take home. If you have a video
camera, you might make a DVD/tape showing your home, family, and activities during the visit,. You
may also wish to send home a small inexpensive gift to each Japanese family member.
I have a big house. Can I host an adult and a child, or two kids?
No - This is a policy of the Japanese organization. Hosting two Japanese at once would make it
harder for your guest to feel like a member of your family. They would not tend to speak English
as much.
ACTIVITIES DURING THE VISIT
Will it be expensive to host?
We have had host families from a wide variety of income groups. You are expected to provide
your exchangee with food at home, and to pay for restaurant meals and admission costs if you do
the same for your children. Trips to expensive places such as Chicago or Kings Island are
completely optional. Many families have made these special trips, but do not overlook less
expensive outings to state parks, picnics near home, family reunions, etc.
Do I need to take our exchangee sightseeing?
Families are not obligated to tour their Japanese youth around the state or country. Japanese
youth are more interested in doing family activities. Japanese boys enjoy doing things with their
host fathers. Things Japanese youth have enjoyed in the past include: swimming, baseball, raft
trips, style shows, dances, drive-in movies, biking, birthday parties, tennis, hiking, basketball,
fairs, cards, miniature golf, volleyball, soccer, bowling, skateboarding, music, horseback riding,
fishing, camping, and stargazing.
37
May I take my guest on trips?
Yes, if this is part of your family's summer plans. It is not recommended that you stay away from
home more than a week. The main idea of the visit is for them to experience normal American
home life. You should inform the 4-H International Programs Office of any trips and provide
them with emergency contact numbers.
Can we go out of state?
Yes, but be sure your county coordinators and 4-H International Programs Office know how to
reach you in case of an emergency at home in Japan. If you go to Canada or Mexico be sure your
exchangee takes his/her passport with the I-94 form stapled to it.
Will my exchangee stay at home or will he/she want to go off alone?
Some Japanese delegates are used to going long distances alone by subway or bicycle to visit
friends, etc. Try to make clear what your family rules are about excursions by themselves.
Depending on the age of your exchangee, (and the setting of your home) it may not be
appropriate for him or her to go anywhere alone. A few host families have reported that their
delegate tended to wander off. If this is the case for yours, do not hesitate to be firm in repeating
the rules.
Do we need to entertain our guest all the time?
No, in fact exchangees will need some time alone to do their schoolwork and write in their
journals. It is very difficult for families to keep their exchangee busy constantly, and it is
especially hard for host brothers and sisters if they feel like they must always entertain their
guest.
On the other hand, an exchangee should not be left alone all the time. This is especially true if
the host sister or brother has band, sports, or a job. This is a nice time for siblings to be included
as hosts, or neighbors and relatives may want to help. A few delegates have felt left out when
their host sisters have had a boyfriend and have been gone a lot.
TV may be hard for them to understand. Many host families have rediscovered the fun of playing
games such as UNO, which do not require skill in English. Chess and card games are popular in
Japan.
Do Japanese kids know how to ride bikes?
Yes, but they are only used to hand brakes. Also, they must be instructed about safety, as many
of them have never ridden on a dirt or gravel road. Important: Traffic moves on the other side
of the road in Japan, so both bike riders and walkers should be reminded to watch for cars.
38
Can the exchangees become involved in 4-H fairs?
Some counties have encouraged their Japanese youth to enter arts and/or craft items at their fair.
Youth have modeled kimonos in style revue and shown others how to do origami or demonstrate
calligraphy. Some Japanese youth have had the “thrill of a lifetime” by showing a small animal
at the fair. Japanese youth and adults are especially interested in learning about 4-H.
Should I take my exchangee camping?
That is fine if it is a normal family activity for you. Going to camp in Japan is very important to
Japanese youth. They are very interested in how Americans camp. If families could arrange for
a weekend of camping, it would be great. Be sure to let the 4-H International Programs Office
know your whereabouts. If your child is going to an organized camp during the visit, the
exchangee may be able to go also. We will need plenty of advance notice in order to arrange
permission, forms, and payment of fees. (See page 32 for camp arrangements.) You may not be
required to pay the fees, if you give enough advance notice for this to be arranged.
Some families have set up a tent in the backyard if an actual camping trip is not on the schedule.
Can the girls get perms or get their ears pierced?
Most Japanese schools forbid these things. Unless you receive a clearly worded letter from the
parents, in English, giving permission (and that is not likely), they should not have these things
done. It's OK to have their hair curled (with a curling iron, not permed) or braided, and they may
buy clothes here.
MONEY
How much money will my exchangee bring?
They are told to bring about $200-300. This is a guideline, and some bring more, and some bring
less. If asked, please help your exchangee find a safe place to keep money. If they seem to need
it, help them budget during the visit, and have them save some money for the time they will be
spending in California before they leave for Japan.
Japanese delegates may be more careless than we are about leaving their wallets out in public
because it is safe to do so in Japan. They should be told to leave most of their money home when
going on shopping trips. If your visitor has travelers' checks, he/she may need help cashing them
at the bank (be sure to have them bring their passport for ID when cashing travelers' checks. We
have had a few reports of kids having trouble cashing travelers checks at malls. Your bank may
be better.)
Can I take a tax deduction for hosting a student?
No - this only applies to families hosting a year-long student.
39
HOSTING ADULTS
Can I host an adult if I work?
The 4-H International Programs Office will work closely with families wanting to host adults.
Preference may be given to hosts where there is someone home most of the time.
Some of the adults would do fine in a situation where they will be left alone, but some would be
uncomfortable. In the case of either adults or students, it is fine to have neighbors and friends
entertain your exchangee for a day.
Do the adults attend meetings while they are here?
During the homestay, the adults do not attend any meetings or travel unless they are needed in
case of emergency. They will have lots of writing to do while in your home (postcards to the kids
in Indiana; writing in a journal; letters home.)
If they need to make long-distance calls, they will have a calling card. If they do not have a
calling card, you should forward your telephone bills to the 4-H International Programs Office
and you will be reimbursed.
Chaperones need to be accessible to the State 4-H Staff and delegates in case of an
emergency or challenging situation. Often, we cannot wait for two to three days for a
chaperone to return calls, so it is important to provide contact information if you will be
away from home.
AROUND THE HOUSE
Are bathroom customs in Japan like ours?
You will need to instruct your exchangee about our habits. Show your Japanese youth how to use
the bathtub – how to put in the stopper – control faucets – how to use shower – important to draw
curtains, etc. Some things are different: In Japan, they always keep the bathroom door closed.
When someone knocks on the door, the occupant will knock back to indicate the facility is in
use.
You may have to help your Japanese youth with the length of time they spend in the bathroom.
If your household has a time limit for showers, let the exchangee know. In Japan, the stool and
tub are in separate rooms so they can stay as long as they like to in the tub. Some Japanese youth
use the bathroom as a place to escape to be alone.
We don't sit down to meals three times a day. Will my visitor be able to prepare his or her
own snacks or meals?
This may be new for your exchangee. It may take awhile for you to convey the idea that it's
alright for them to help themselves. In Japan it is rude to open someone else's refrigerator. You
should be sure that someone will be at home during mealtimes to help him or her prepare food.
In Japan, mothers usually do all the cooking. Many Japanese kids have never made a sandwich!
40
Why are my exchangee's table manners different from ours?
In Japan, it’s customary to slurp your food while eating many foods, particularly noodles,
spaghetti and soups; pick up a bowl and put it to your mouth; to begin eating before everyone is
at the table; to eat fast; to not use napkins; and to eat lots of rice.
Should we prepare Japanese food? Why did he/she bring Japanese food?
His or her mother may have wondered if they would like American food, but you should serve
whatever your family normally eats. Japanese kids love things like tacos, hamburgers, corn, and
pizza. Be aware that some of the kids may be a little queasy at first, from jet lag or airsickness.
The first few days may not be the time to introduce fatty foods like French fries. If your
exchangee brings food, encourage them to share it with your family. If they offer to cook, enjoy
it!
What about chores?
Since the exchange is almost a month long, you should treat your exchangee more like a family
member than a guest. If your kids do chores around the house or farm, assign some chores to
your exchangee. Be aware that some Japanese delegates do not do chores at home and you may
need to do some teaching. It's a good experience for them!
Will I have to discipline the Japanese youth?
Treat the Japanese youth like your children. He/she will need rules established for hours, chores,
leaving your property, etc. It is not essential to be a perfect host family, it’s more important to be
a normal family. American children should not become “caretakers” for Japanese youth. The
youth have been told that they should be conscientious of the American system of going to bed,
getting up, doing activities with the family, etc., and to participate as a family member.
Both parents work outside the home. Can we still host?
Yes. The arrangements you make depend on the ages of the youth involved. If your kids go to a
baby-sitter, of course the exchangee should too. If your youth is an older, responsible teen, it is
fine if there is not an adult home. Please make sure that your exchangee has something to do if
your teen is involved in activities.
MEDICAL PROBLEMS
What should I do if my exchangee gets sick?
The delegates arrive with written permission for you to act on behalf of the parents and you
should get medical care immediately in an emergency. In less urgent situations, you will have to
use your judgment about what is needed, and you should call on the State 4-H staff or your
county coordinator. If the language barrier prevents you from being sure what the problem is,
contact the Japanese adult chaperone if interpretation would help. You will have a list of where
the adult chaperones are staying during their homestays (page 5.)
41
Can I give him or her medicine if necessary?
Be careful about using over-the-counter remedies. Many Japanese are allergic to aspirin, which
is in many medicinal products. You will receive advance notice about allergies and medical
problems and can consult with the chaperone or the 4-H International Programs Office if you are
unsure about medicines, etc.
Submit all medical bills according to directions in this book (page 13).
Good-bye Is Not The End
“The saddest day of her stay was the day we had to say goodbye. We never imagined that we
would be so lucky…to have such a wonderful addition to our family… We miss her and love her
very much.” --an Indiana host family
“We miss her very much…The hardest part of the experience was sending her back home. When
she boarded the bus, it felt like parts of our hearts were also leaving. We miss her very much
and wish to be able to see her again.” --an Indiana host family
“We love him as our own son and miss him dearly. He will forever be a part of our family! –an
Indiana host family
Friendships developed during these few weeks can last a lifetime. Perhaps an exchangee will
come back to the U.S. to visit his host family. Perhaps a family will travel to the exchangee's
home and learn more about the culture of Japan. When your exchangee leaves, you may feel as
though one of your sons or daughters were departing. But the understandings you have built will
remain. Correspondence will continue. Some day you may meet again!!
Luggage Limits
Each year, the exchangees arrive in Indiana with one large, hard suitcase on wheels. During the
exchange, they will frequently buy or receive numerous items. However, all of these extra items
must be able to fit into the suitcase which they brought. Most of the kids come with no room to
spare in their luggage. No additional luggage may be used to return to Japan. The only exception
would be a small backpack or large purse which does not require the use of the student's hands to
carry. Your exchangee should be aware of this rule. The reason for this policy is that each
exchangee must carry his or her own luggage during the duration of the trip back to Japan. This
includes their arrival at Narita Airport and their trip to a hotel via public transportation during
rush hour! So it's “each student for himself.”
In past years we have recommended that anything not fitting into a suitcase be sent back to Japan
in a box mailed from the post office. The cost for postage has virtually doubled in the past year.
You may want to check with your post office before you decide to let them mail something
home. The exchangees should pay for the postage for items which they buy; gift-givers might
consider helping to pay for the postage of the items that they give. Global Priority Mail is a good
mailing option for smaller items.
42
***Please note that your exchangee's large piece of luggage may weigh no more than 50
pounds. If it weighs any more than this, a substantial fee will be charged by the airline.
This fee must be paid by the exchangee at the time of departure. Please weigh the luggage
before the student leaves your home.
My exchangee has bought lots of gifts and souvenirs, and his suitcase is too full. What
should we do?
Each student must be able to handle all of his or her own luggage. (They come with one large
suitcase, and one carry-on bag.) General airline guidelines are as follows: maximum, weight of
each bag is 50 pounds. The checked bag can be no bigger than 62" total. (L + W + H) The
carry-on also can be no bigger than 36".
NOTE: Requirements are that the exchangees bring only one suitcase. They must handle their
own baggage during the departure activities (two nights in a hotel), and while going through
customs on returning home.
Mailing costs to Japanese are very high, so if it looks like this will be necessary, be sure to take
the package to the post office while the exchangee is still here. Don't offer to mail it yourself
after they leave - -you may be shocked at the price. Postage is the responsibility of the
exchangee.
Can I send back gifts for his/her family?
That is fine with the following exceptions:
DO NOT SEND:
Guns of any kind, including water guns
Knives, including Swiss Army knives
Fireworks, matches
Plants, vegetables, seeds, animals (food is OK if commercially processed).
Tobacco
Alcohol, drugs
Anything else forbidden by the airlines. (Call if unsure)
Students should have no more than one suitcase and one carry-on bag.
Can my exchangee call me from the hotel or airport? What do they do before leaving
Indiana?
Do not ask your exchangee to call you after you have said good-bye. This is difficult for both
sides, and calling from Indianapolis will make it worse.
After they leave you, they will be in the hands of State 4-H Staff, as well as their adult leaders.
They will spend one night debriefing, and preparing for their return.
Food and hotel costs are taken care of in Indianapolis, but the delegates should save some money
to shop.
While they are in Indianapolis, you should have no further contact with your exchangee
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They need time to separate emotionally from you and to prepare to go home to their families. It
is important that your good-byes be final, sad as it is.
Hopefully you will keep in touch with your exchangee and his or her family; friendships like this
can last for a lifetime.
RETURNING TO JAPAN
TO HOST FAMILIES: Here is a translation of the return-trip instructions which were given to your
exchanges. Any suggestions or help you can give to your exchangee will be greatly appreciated.
YOUR RETURN TRIP TO JAPAN
1. LUGGAGE: YOU MAY CHECK-IN ONLY ONE SUITCASE.
CARRY-ON BAGGAGE MUST BE SMALL ENOUGH TO FIT UNDER THE PLANE SEAT. If
you have too much, ask your host family to help you mail some things home (shoes, clothes, etc.).
Pay your host family for the postage.
2. GIFTS: Do not accept liquor or cigarettes from your hosts. Do not pack fragile goods in your checkin suitcase. Used rifle slugs, gun-powder, fireworks, etc. are strictly forbidden by Japanese law as are
knives of any sort.
3. PASSPORT: Do not pack it in your check-in bag.
* Make sure you have it when you leave your host family.
* Do not lose it on the way to the gathering place!
* Keep it on your person at all times!
Please follow the above instructions, and have a safe and problem-free trip home!
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4-H International Exchange Program
Purdue University
Agricultural Administration Building
615 West State Street
West Lafayette, IN 47907-2053
765/494-8433 FAX: 765/496-1152
It is the policy of Purdue University that all persons have equal opportunity and access to its educational
programs, services, activities, and facilities without regard to race, religion, color, sex, age, national origin
or ancestry, marital status, parental status, sexual orientation, disability or status as a veteran. Purdue
University is an Affirmative Action institution. This material may be available in alternative formats.
1-888-EXT-INFO
http://www.agcom.purdue.edu/AgCom/Pubs/menu.htm