HUMAN INFLUENCE
Charles E. Dwyer, Ph.D.
HOW TO GET ANYBODY
TO DO ANYTHING
YOU WANT
Charles E. Dwyer, Ph.D.
McCabe’s Law:
Nobody has to do anything.
Charles McCabe
IT’S NOT WHAT WE DON’T
KNOW THAT HURTS, IT’S
WHAT WE KNOW THAT
AIN’T SO
Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
THE LOVE OF MONEY IS
THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL
Bible, 1 Timothy
THE LACK OF MONEY IS
THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 - 1950)
A FEAST IS MADE FOR
LAUGHTER AND WINE
MAKETH MERRY, BUT MONEY
ANSWERETH ALL THINGS
Ecclesiastes 10:11
WEALTH MAKETH MANY
FRIENDS
Bible, Proverbs 19:4
NO ONE WOULD
REMEMBER THE GOOD
SAMARITAN IF HE’D ONLY
HAD GOOD INTENTIONS. HE
HAD MONEY AS WELL.
Margaret Thatcher
IF POSSIBLE, HONESTLY,
IF NOT, SOMEHOW,
MAKE MONEY
Horace (65 - 8 B.C.)
FIRST SECURE AN
INDEPENDENT INCOME,
THEN PRACTICE VIRTUE
Greek Saying
MONEY IS A GUARANTEE THAT WE
MAY HAVE WHAT WE WANT IN THE
FUTURE. THOUGH WE NEED NOTHING
AT THE MOMENT IT INSURES THE
POSSIBILITY OF SATISFYING A NEW
DESIRE WHEN IT ARISES
Aristotle
I BELIEVE THAT THE
POWER TO MAKE MONEY IS
A GIFT FROM GOD
John D. Rockefeller
IF ONLY GOD WOULD GIVE
ME SOME CLEAR SIGN! LIKE
MAKING A DEPOSIT IN MY
NAME IN A SWISS BANK
ACCOUNT
Woody Allen
THERE ARE FEW
SORROWS, HOWEVER
POIGNANT, IN WHICH A
GOOD INCOME IS OF NO
AVAIL
Logan Pearsall Smith
WEALTH IS NOT WITHOUT ITS
ADVANTAGES, AND THE CASE TO THE
CONTRARY, ALTHOUGH IT HAS OFTEN
BEEN MADE, HAS NEVER PROVED
WIDELY PERSUASIVE
John Kenneth
Galbraith
THERE IS A CERTAIN
BUDDHISTIC CALM THAT
COMES FROM HAVING
MONEY IN THE BANK
Tom Robbins
IT’S NO SIN TO BE POOR BUT IT IS
DAMNED INCONVENIENT
Mark Twain
HONESTY IS THE BEST
POLICY—WHEN THERE IS
MONEY IN IT
Mark Twain
It is a kind of spiritual
snobbery that makes people
think that they can be happy
without money.
Albert Camus
Money may not buy
happiness but , it does
enable one to be miserable in
some very nice places
Anonymous
WITH MONEY IN YOUR
POCKET, YOU ARE WISE
AND YOU ARE HANDSOME
AND YOU SING WELL TOO.
Yiddish Proverb
What do the Following
Have in Common?
•Advertising
•Politics & Religion
•Marketing
•Parenting & Spousing
•Sales
•Negotiating &
•Merchandising
•Conflict Resolution
They each involve some
engaged in some
designed to influence the
of one or more other
How Do We Frame What
We Want from Others?
hAttitudes
hDispositions
hBeliefs
hPersonality
Characteristics
hQuality of
Relationships
VS.
Behavior
Performance
Observable
Measurable
Quantifiable
What Do We Use to Get What
We Want from Others?
Our Behavior (Direct and Indirect)
hKnowledge
hSkill
hExperience
hExpertise
hAuthority
hPosition
VS.
hWhat We Say
hHow, When, Where
hGestures, Timing, Tone
hLanguage and Rhythm
hMode of Communication
hActions/Example
WORDS, THE FRAGILE
VESSELS OF OUR MEANINGS,
EASILY LOSE THEIR
WAY IN THE CHANNELS OF
OTHERS’ MINDS
Charles E. Dwyer
‘Estate Tax’
‘Inheritance Tax’
‘Death Tax’
Words to Use
Their Words
Words to Use
Synonyms
Paraphrases
Words to Use
“Because”
“Imagine”
Words to Use
Stories
Words to Use
Autobiography
Well, I would—if they realized that we—
again if—if we led them back to that
stalemate only because that our retaliatory
power, our seconds, or strike at them after
our first strike, would be so destructive
that they couldn’t afford it, that would hold
them off.
Ronald Reagan when asked if nuclear war
could be limited to tactical weapons
I BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE
WOULD BE ALIVE TODAY
IF THERE WERE A
DEATH PENALTY
Nancy Reagan
“Sir Francis Drake
circumcised the world with a
100 - foot clipper.”
HE HAS A GOD-GIVEN
KILLER INSTINCT
Al Davis of the Oakland Raiders
on George Blanda
MOST OF OUR FUTURE
LIES AHEAD
Denny Crum, Louisville
Basketball Coach
NOLAN RYAN IS PITCHING
MUCH BETTER NOW THAT
HE HAS HIS CURVE BALL
STRAIGHTENED OUT
Joe Garagiola
REAGAN WINS ON BUDGET,
BUT MORE LIES AHEAD
ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME
FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT
STUD TIRES OUT
RED TAPE HOLDS UP
NEW BRIDGE
PROSECUTOR RELEASES
PROBE INTO
UNDERSHERIFF
POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN
TO RUN DOWN
JAYWALKERS
JUVENILE COURT TO TRY
SHOOTING DEFENDANT
LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL
DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF
SEX EDUCATION DELAYED,
TEACHERS REQUEST
TRAINING
NEVER WITHHOLD
HERPES INFECTION
FROM LOVED ONE
PANDA MATING FAILS;
VETERINARIAN
TAKES OVER
INCLUDE YOUR CHILDREN
WHEN BAKING COOKIES
KIDS MAKE
NUTRITIOUS SNACKS
Words
Safe
Solid
Dependable
Durable
Reliable
Strong
Steady
Stable
Sturdy
Substantial
Consistent
Permanent
Words
Prudent
Wise
Sensible
Reasonable
Informed
Astute
Well-advised
Judicious
Sound
Careful
Cautious
Orderly
Incremental
Words
Preserve
Protect
Conserve
Guard
Anchor
Shield
Words
Enrich
Enhance
Invigorate
Nourish
Reinforce
Support
Energize
Shelter
Support
Buttress
Undergird
Intact
Words
Vigorous
Aggressive
On the offensive
Toughness
Stamina
Tenacity
The long haul
Staying power
Endurance
Flexible
Power/Influence is the ability to
get people to perceive that a
given behavior (or performance)
is the best action they can take in
the service of their values.
Perceptions are:
• Personal
• Subjective
• Fragile
• Idiosyncratic
• Arbitrary
• Infinitely Malleable States
Consciousness
Subconsciousness
Skills
Beliefs
Knowledge
Memories
Attitudes
Behaviors
An Alternative Program
Never expect anyone
to engage in a behavior
that serves your values
unless you give that person
adequate reason to do so.
Values
R
Perception
Behavior
A
X X X
X X X
X X X
Feel Good
Behaviors
B
X
X
X
X X X
X X X
X X X
Effective With
Other’s Behaviors
The Model
1. Capability
Knowledge of the Behavior
Competence (Knowledge and Skill)
Self - Confidence
2. Perception of Potential Value Satisfaction
3. Perception of the Probability
of Value Satisfaction
4. Perception of Cost
5. Perception of Risk