What It Means to Be Gendered Me: Life on the Boundaries of a Dichotomous Gender System Author(s): Betsy Lucal Source: Gender and Society, Vol. 13, No. 6 (Dec., 1999), pp. 781-797 Published by: Sage Publications, Inc. Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/190440 Accessed: 07/04/2009 13:21 Your use of the JSTOR archive indicates your acceptance of JSTOR's Terms and Conditions of Use, available at http://www.jstor.org/page/info/about/policies/terms.jsp. JSTOR's Terms and Conditions of Use provides, in part, that unless you have obtained prior permission, you may not download an entire issue of a journal or multiple copies of articles, and you may use content in the JSTOR archive only for your personal, non-commercial use. Please contact the publisher regarding any further use of this work. Publisher contact information may be obtained at http://www.jstor.org/action/showPublisher?publisherCode=sage. Each copy of any part of a JSTOR transmission must contain the same copyright notice that appears on the screen or printed page of such transmission. JSTOR is a not-for-profit organization founded in 1995 to build trusted digital archives for scholarship. We work with the scholarly community to preserve their work and the materials they rely upon, and to build a common research platform that promotes the discovery and use of these resources. For more information about JSTOR, please contact [email protected]. Sage Publications, Inc. is collaborating with JSTOR to digitize, preserve and extend access to Gender and Society. http://www.jstor.org Perspective WHATIT MEANS TOBE GENDERED ME Life on the Boundaries of a Dichotomous Gender System BETSYLUCAL Indiana UniversitySouthBend Whatare the implicationsof living in a gendersystemthatrecognizes "twoand only two" genders? For those individualswhose "genderdisplays" are inappropriate,therecan be a varietyof consequences, many of themnegative. In this article, the authorprovidesan analysis of her experiencesas a woman whose appearance often leads to gender misattribution.She discusses the consequencesof the gender systemfor her identityand her interactions.Theauthoralso examinesLorber'sassertion that "gender bending" actuallyserves to perpetuategendercategories ratherthanto breakthemdown,and she suggests how her experiences might contradictLorber'sargument.Using her biographyto examine the social constructionof gender,she both illustratesand extendstheoreticalwork in this area. I understoodthe concept of "doing gender"(West and Zimmerman1987) long before I became a sociologist. I havebeen living with the consequencesof inappropriate"genderdisplay"(Goffman1976;WestandZimmerman1987) for as long as I can remember. My daily experiencesare a testamentto the rigidityof genderin our society, to the realimplicationsof "twoandonly two"when it comes to sex andgendercategories (Garfinkel1967; KesslerandMcKenna1978). Eachday,I experiencethe consequences that our gender system has for my identity and interactions.I am a woman who has been called "Sir"so many times thatI no longer even hesitate to assumethatit is being directedat me. I am a womanwhose use of publicrestrooms regularly causes reactions ranging from confused stares to confrontationsover what a man is doing in the women's room. I regularlyenact a varietyof practices AUTHOR'S NOTE: I thankthe journal's reviewers,my writing group (Linda Chen, Louise Collins, April Lidinsky,MargareteMyers, Monica Tetzlaff,and Becky Torstrick),Heather Bulan, and Linda Fritschnerfor their helpful commentson earlier versions of this article. REPRINTREQUESTS:Betsy Lucal, Departmentof Sociology, Indiana UniversitySouth Bend, P.O. Box 7111, South Bend, IN46634-7111; e-mail: [email protected]. GENDER& SOCIETY, Vol.13No. 6, December1999 781-797 ? 1999SociologistsforWomenin Society 781 782 GENDER & SOCIETY / December 1999 either to minimize the need for others to know my gender or to deal with their misattributions. I am the embodimentof Lorber's(1994) ostensibly paradoxicalassertionthat the "genderbending"I engage in actuallymight serve to preserveand perpetuate gendercategories.As a feminist who sees genderrebellionas a significantpartof hercontributionto the dismantlingof sexism, I findthispossibilitydisheartening. In this article,I examinehow my experiencesboth supportand contradictLorber's (1994) argumentusing my own experiencesto illustrateand reflect on the social constructionof gender.My analysisoffers a discussionof the consequences of genderfor people who do not follow the rules as well as an examinationof the possible implicationsof the existenceof people like me for the gendersystem itself. Ultimately,I show how life on the boundariesof genderaffectsme andhow my life, and the lives of otherswho make similardecisions abouttheirparticipationin the gender system, has the potentialto subvertgender. Because this articleanalyzesmy experiencesas a womanwho often is mistaken for a man,my focus is on the social constructionof genderfor women.My assumption is that,given the genderednatureof the genderingprocessitself, men's experiences of this phenomenonmight well be differentfrom women's. THE SOCIAL CONSTRUCTION OF GENDER It is now widely acceptedthatgenderis a social construction,thatsex andgender are distinct, and thatgenderis somethingall of us "do."This conceptualizationof gendercanbe tracedto Garfinkel's(1967) ethnomethodologicalstudyof"Agnes."1 In this analysis,Garfinkelexaminedthe issues facing a male who wished to pass as, and eventuallybecome, a woman. Unlike individualswho performgenderin culturallyexpectedways, Agnes could not takeher genderfor grantedandalways was in dangerof failing to pass as a woman (Zimmerman1992). This approachwas extendedby KesslerandMcKenna(1978) andcodified in the classic "DoingGender"by WestandZimmerman(1987). The social constructionist approachhas been developed most notably by Lorber(1994, 1996). Similar theoreticalstrainshave developed outside of sociology, such as work by Butler (1990) and Weston (1996). Taken as a whole, this work provides a number of insights into the social processes of gender,showing how gender(ing)is, in fact, a process. We apply gender labels for a variety of reasons;for example, an individual's gendercues ourinteractionswith heror him. Successful social relationsrequireall participantsto present,monitor,and interpretgenderdisplays (Martin1998; West andZimmerman1987). Wehave, accordingto Lorber,"nosocial place for a person who is neitherwomannorman"(1994,96); thatis, we do not know how to interact with such a person.Thereis, for example,no way of addressingsuch a personthat does not rely on making an assumption about the person's gender ("Sir" or (WestandZimmerman1987). "Ma'am").In this context,genderis "omnirelevant" Lucal / LIFE ON THE BOUNDARIES 783 Also, given the sometimes fractious nature of interactions between men and women, it might be particularlyimportantfor women to know the gender of the strangersthey encounter;do the women need to be wary,or can they relax (Devor 1989)? Accordingto KesslerandMcKenna(1978), each time we encountera new person, we make a genderattribution.In most cases, this is not difficult.We learnhow to readpeople's gendersby learningwhich traitsculturallysignify each genderand by learningrules thatenable us to classify individualswith a wide rangeof gender presentationsinto two andonly two gendercategories.As Westonobserved,"Genderedtraitsarecalled attributesfor a reason:People attributetraitsto others.No one possesses them. Traitsarethe productof evaluation"(1996, 21). The fact thatmost people use the same traitsandrules in presentinggendersmakes it easier for us to attributegendersto them. We also assume that we can place each individualinto one of two mutually exclusive categoriesin this binarysystem. As Bem (1993) notes, we have a polarized view of gender;therearetwo groupsthatareseen as polaropposites.Although thereis "norulefor deciding 'male'or 'female'thatwill alwayswork"andno attributes "thatalways and withoutexception aretrueof only one gender"(Kessler and McKenna 1978, 158, 1), we operateunderthe assumptionthatthereare such rules and attributes. KesslerandMcKenna'sanalysisrevealedthatthe fundamentalschemafor gender attributionis to "See someone as female only when you cannotsee [theperson] as male" (1978, 158). Individualsbasically are assumed to be male/men until provenotherwise,thatis, until some obvious markerof conventionalfemininityis noted.In otherwords,the defaultreadingof a nonfemininepersonis thatshe orhe is male; people who do not deliberatelymarkthemselvesas feminine are takento be men. Devor attributedthis tendencyto the operationof genderin a patriarchalcontext: "Womenmust markthemselves as 'other',"whereason the otherhand, "few cues [arerequired]to identifymaleness"(1989, 152). As with language,masculine forms are taken as the generically human;femininityrequiresthat something be added.Femininity"mustconstantlyreassureits audienceby a willing demonstration of difference"(Brownmiller1984, 15). Patriarchalconstructsof genderalso devaluethe markedcategory.Devor (1989) foundthatthe women she calls "genderblenders"assumedthatfemininitywas less desirablethanmasculinity;theirgenderblendingsometimeswas a productof their shame about being women. This assumptionaffects not only our perceptionsof otherpeople but also individuals'senses of their own genderedselves. Not only do we rely on our social skills in attributinggendersto others,but we also use ourskills to presentourown gendersto them.The roots of this understanding of how genderoperateslie in Goffman's(1959) analysisof the "presentationof self in everydaylife," elaboratedlater in his work on "genderdisplay"(Goffman 1976). From this perspective,gender is a performance,"a stylized repetition of acts"(Butler 1990, 140, emphasisremoved).Genderdisplayrefersto "conventionalized portrayals"of social correlatesof gender (Goffman 1976). These displays 784 GENDER & SOCIETY / December 1999 are culturallyestablishedsets of behaviors,appearances,mannerisms,and other cues that we have learnedto associate with membersof a particulargender. In determiningthe gender of each person we encounterand in presentingour genders to others, we rely extensively on these gender displays. Our bodies and their adornmentsprovide us with "texts"for reading a person's gender (Bordo 1993). As Lorbernoted, "Withoutthe deliberateuse of genderedclothing, hairstyles, jewelry, and cosmetics, women andmen would look farmore alike"(1994, 18-19). Myhre summarizedthe markersof femininity as "having longish hair; wearingmakeup,skirts,jewelry,andhigh heels; walkingwith a wiggle; having little or no observablebody hair; and being in general soft, rounded(but not too rounded),andsweet-smelling"(1995, 135). (Note thatthese descriptionscomprise a Westernconceptualizationof gender.)Devor identified"mannerisms,language, facial expressions, dress, and a lack of feminine adornment"(1989, x) as factors that contributeto women being mistakenfor men. A personuses genderdisplayto lead othersto makeattributionsregardingheror his gender,regardlessof whetherthe presentedgendercorrespondsto the person's sex or gender self-identity.Because genderis a social construction,there may be differencesamongone's sex, genderself-identity(the genderthe individualidentifies as), presentedidentity (the gender the person is presenting),and perceived identity (the genderothers attributeto the person).2For example, a person can be female withoutbeing socially identifiedas a woman,anda male personcan appear socially as a woman.Using a femininegenderdisplay,a man can presentthe identity of a woman and, if the display is successful, be perceivedas a woman. But these processes also mean that a person who fails to establish a gendered appearancethatcorrespondsto the person's genderfaces challenges to her or his identity and status. First, the gender nonconformistmust find a way in which to constructan identityin a society thatdenies heror him anylegitimacy(Bem 1993). A personis likely to wantto defineherselfor himself as "normal"in the face of culturalevidence to the contrary.Second,the individualalso mustdeal with otherpeople's challenges to identityand status-deciding how to respond,what such reactions to their appearancemean, and so forth. Because ourappearances,mannerisms,andso forthconstantlyarebeing readas partof ourgenderdisplay,we do genderwhetherwe intendto or not.Forexample,a woman athlete,particularlyone participatingin a nonfemininesportsuch as basketball,mightdeliberatelykeepherhairlong to show that,despite actionsthatsuggest otherwise,she is a "real"(i.e., feminine)woman.But we also do genderin less conscious ways suchas whena mantakesupmorespacewhen sittingthana woman does. In fact, in a society so clearlyorganizedaroundgender,as ours is, thereis no way in which to not do gender(Lorber1994). Given our culturalrules for identifyinggender(i.e., thatthereare only two and that masculinityis assumedin the absence of evidence to the contrary),a person who does not do genderappropriatelyis placed not into a thirdcategorybut rather into the one with which heror his genderdisplayseems most closely to fit; thatis, if a man appearsto be a woman, then he will be categorized as "woman,"not as Lucal / LIFE ON THE BOUNDARIES 785 somethingelse. Even if a persondoes not want to do genderor would like to do a genderotherthanthe two recognizedby oursociety, otherpeople will, in effect, do genderfor thatpersonby placingheror him in one andonly one of the two available categories.We cannotescape doing genderor,more specifically,doing one of two genders. (There are exceptions in limited contexts such as people doing "drag" [Butler 1990; Lorber1994].) People who follow the norms of gender can take their genders for granted. Kessler and McKenna asserted, "Few people besides transsexualsthink of their genderas anythingotherthan 'naturally'obvious";they believe thatthe risks of not being takenfor the genderintended"areminimalfor nontranssexuals"(1978, 126). However, such an assertion overlooks the experiences of people such as those women Devor (1989) calls "genderblenders"and those people Lorber (1994) refersto as "genderbenders."As West andZimmerman(1987) pointedout, we all are held accountablefor, and might be called on to accountfor, our genders. People who, for whateverreasons,do not adhereto the rules,risk gendermisattributionandany interactionalconsequencesthatmightresultfromthis misidentification. What are the consequencesof misattributionfor social interaction?When mustmisattributionbe minimized?Whatwill one do to minimizesuchmistakes?In this article,I explore these and relatedquestionsusing my biography. Forme, the social processesandstructuresof gendermeanthat,in the contextof our culture,my appearancewill be read as masculine. Given the common conflation of sex and gender,I will be assumed to be a male. Because of the two-andonly-two genders rule, I will be classified, perhaps more often than not, as a man-not as an atypicalwoman,not as a genderlessperson.I mustbe one genderor the other;I cannotbe neither,norcan I be both.This normhas a varietyof mundane and serious consequences for my everydayexistence. Like Myhre (1995), I have found that the choice not to participatein femininityis not one made frivolously. My experiencesas a womanwho does not do femininityillustratea paradoxof our two-and-only-twogender system. Lorberarguedthat "bendinggender rules and passing between gendersdoes not erode but ratherpreservesgender boundaries" (1994, 21). Althoughpeople who engage in these behaviorsand appearances do "demonstratethe social constructednessof sex, sexuality,and gender"(Lorber 1994, 96), they do not actuallydisruptgender.Devor made a similarpoint:"When genderblendingfemales refusedto markthemselvesby publicly displaying sufficient femininityto be recognizedas women, they were in no way challengingpatriarchalgenderassumptions"(1989, 142). As the following discussionshows, I have found thatmy own experiencesboth supportand challenge this argument.Before detailing these experiences,I explain my use of my self as data. MY SELF AS DATA This analysisis basedon my experiencesas a personwhose appearanceandgender/sex are not, in the eyes of many people, congruent.How did my experiences 786 GENDER & SOCIETY / December 1999 become my data?I beganmy research"unwittingly"(Krieger1991). This articleis a productof "opportunisticresearch"in thatI am using my "uniquebiography,life experiences, and/or situationalfamiliarityto understandand explain social life" (Riemer1988, 121; see also Riemer 1977). It is an analysisof "unplannedpersonal experience,"thatis, experiencesthatwere not partof a researchprojectbutinstead are partof my daily encounters(Reinharz1992). This work also is, at least to some extent, an example of Richardson's(1994) notionof writingas a methodof inquiry.As a sociologist who specializesin gender, the more I learned,the more I realizedthatmy life could serve as a case study.As I examined my experiences,I found out things-about my experiences and about theory-that I did not know when I started(Richardson1994). It also is useful, I think,to considermy analysisan applicationof Mills's (1959) "sociologicalimagination."Mills (1959) andBerger(1963) wroteaboutthe importance of seeing the generalin the particular.This meansthatgeneralsocial patterns can be discerned in the behaviors of particularindividuals.In this article, I am examiningportionsof my biography,situatedin U.S. society duringthe 1990s, to understandthe "personaltroubles"my gender producesin the context of a twoand-only-twogender system. I am not attemptingto generalizemy experiences; rather,I am tryingto use themto examineandreflecton the processesandstructure of gender in our society. Because my analysis is based on my memoriesand perceptionsof events, it is of those events.Howlimitedby my abilityto recalleventsandby my interpretation the about truth that I am not ever, genderandhow claiming my experiencesprovide it works. I am claimingthatthe biographyof a personwho lives on the marginsof our gender system can provide theoreticalinsights into the processes and social structureof gender.Therefore,after describingmy experiences, I examine how they illustrateand extend,as well as contradict,otherwork on the social construction of gender. GENDERED ME Each day, I negotiatethe boundariesof gender.Each day, I face the possibility that someone will attributethe "wrong"gender to me based on my physical appearance. I am six feet tall and large-boned.I have had shorthairfor most of my life. For the past severalyears,I have worna crew cut or flat top. I do not shaveor otherwise remove hair from my body (e.g., no eyebrow plucking). I do not wear dresses, skirts,high heels, or makeup.My onlyjewelry is a class ring, a "men's"watch(my wristsaretoo largefor a "women's"watch),two smallearrings(gold hoops, bothin my left ear), and (occasionally) a necklace.I wearjeans or shorts,T-shirts,sweaters, polo/golf shirts,button-downcollarshirts,andtennisshoes or boots. Thejeans are "women's"(I do have hips) butdo not look particularly"feminine."The rest of the outergarmentsare from men's departments.I preferbaggy clothes, so the fact Lucal / LIFE ON THE BOUNDARIES 787 thatI have "womanly"breastsoftenis not obvious(I do notweara bra).Sometimes, I weara baseballcap or some othertype of hat.I also am white andrelativelyyoung (30 years old).3 My genderdisplay-what othersinterpretas my presentedidentity-regularly leads to the misattributionof my gender.An incongruityexists betweenmy gender self-identityandthe genderthatothersperceive.In my encounterswith people I do not know, I sometimes conclude, based on our interactions,that they think I am a man. This does not mean thatotherpeople do not thinkI am a man,just thatI have no way of knowing what they thinkwithoutinteractingwith them. Livingwith It I haveno illusions ordelusionsaboutmy appearance.I knowthatmy appearance is likely to be readas "masculine"(andmale) andthathow I see myself is socially irrelevant.Given our two-and-only-twogenderstructure,I must live with the consequencesof my appearance.These consequencesfall into two categories:issues of identity and issues of interaction. My most common experienceis being called "Sir"or being referredto by some othermasculinelinguisticmarker(e.g., "he" "man").This has happenedfor years, for as long as I can remember,when havingencounterswith people I do not know.4 Once, in fact, the same workerat a fast-foodrestaurantcalled me "Ma'am"when she took my orderand "Sir"when she gave it to me. Using my credit cards sometimes is a challenge. Some clerks subtly indicate their disbelief, looking from the cardto me and back at the cardand checking my signature carefully. Others challenge my use of the card, asking whose it is or demandingidentification.One cashier asked to see my driver'slicense and then asked me whetherI was the son of the cardholder.Anotherclerk told me that my signatureon the receipt "hadbettermatch"the one on the card. Presumably,this was herway of lettingme knowthatshe was notconvincedit was my creditcard. My identity as a woman also is called into question when I try to use womenonly spaces. Encountersin public rest rooms are an adventure.I have been told countless times that"Thisis the ladies'room."Otherwomen say nothingto me, but their staresand conversationswith otherslet me know what they think.I will hear them say, for example, "Therewas a man in there."I also get stareswhen I entera locker room. However,it seems thatwomen areless concernedaboutmy presence there,perhapsbecause, given thatit is a space for changingclothes, showering,and so forth,they will be able to makesurethatI am reallya woman.Dressingrooms in departmentstoresalso areproblematicspaces.I remembershoppingwith my sister once andbeing offereda chairoutsidethe roomwhenI beganto accompanyherinto the dressing room. Womenwho believe thatI am a mando not wantme in women-onlyspaces. For example,one womanwouldnotentertherestroomuntilI came out, andothershave told me that I am in the wrong place. They also might not want to encounterme 788 GENDER & SOCIETY / December 1999 while they arealone. For example,seeing me walkingat nightwhen they arealone might be scary.5 I, on the otherhand,am not afraidto walk alone,day or night.I do not worrythat I will be subjectedto the public harassmentthat many women endure (Gardner 1995). I am not a clear targetfor a potentialrapist.I rely on the fact thata potential attackerwould not wantto attacka big man by mistake.This is not to say thatmen neverareattacked,just thatthey arenot viewed, andoften do not view themselves, as being vulnerableto attack. Being perceivedas a manhas mademe privyto male-maleinteractionalstyles of which most women are not aware.I found out, quite by accident,that many men greet,or acknowledge,people (mostlyothermen) who makeeye contactwith them with a single nod. For example, I found thatwhen I walkeddown the halls of my brother'sall-maledormitorymakingeye contact,men noddedtheirgreetingsatme. Oddly enough, these same men did not greet my brother;I had to tell him about makingeye contactand noddingas a greetingritual.Apparently,in this case I was doing masculinitybetterthanhe was! I also believe that I am treateddifferently,for example, in auto parts stores (staffedalmostexclusively by men in most cases) becauseof the assumptionthatI am a man. WorkersthereassumethatI know whatI need andthatmy questionsare legitimaterequestsfor information.I suspect that I am treatedmore fairly than a feminine-appearingwomanwould be. I have not been able to test this proposition. However,Devor's participantsdid report"beingtreatedmorerespectfully"(1989, 132) in such situations. Thereis, however,a negativeside to being assumedto be a man by othermen. Once, a friendandI were drivingin hercarwhen a manfailedto stop at an intersection and nearlycrashedinto us. As we droveaway,I mouthed"stopsign" to him. When we both stoppedour cars at the next intersection,he got out of his car and came up to the passengerside of thecar,whereI was sitting.He yelled obscenitiesat us andpoundedandspit on the carwindow.Luckily,the windowswere closed. I do not thinkhe would have done thatif he thoughtI was a woman.This was the first time I realizedthatone of the implicationsof being seen as a man was thatI might be called on to defend myself from physical aggressionfrom othermen who felt challengedby me. This was a soberingand somewhatfrighteningthought. Recently,I was verballyaccostedby an olderman who did not like where I had parkedmy car.As I walkeddown the streetto work,he shoutedthatI shouldparkat the universityratherthan on a side streetnearby.I respondedthat it was a public streetandthatI could parkthereif I chose. He continuedto yell, butthe only thingI caughtwas the last partof whathe said:"Yourtires aregoing to get cut!"Based on my appearancethatday-I was dressedcasuallyandcarryinga backpack,andI had my hat on backward-I believe he thoughtthatI was a young male studentrather thana femaleprofessor.I do notthinkhe wouldhaveyelled at a personhe thoughtto be a woman-and perhapsespecially not a woman professor. Given the presumptionof heterosexualitythat is partof our system of gender, my interactionswith women who assumethatI am a man also can be viewed from Lucal / LIFE ON THE BOUNDARIES 789 thatperspective.Forexample,once my brotherandI were shoppingwhen we were "hiton"by two young women.The encounterendedbeforeI realizedwhathadhappened.It was only when we walkedawaythatI told him thatI was prettycertainthat they hadthoughtbothof us were men. A morecommonexperienceis realizingthat when I am seen in publicwith one of my womenfriends,we arelikely to be readas a heterosexualdyad.It is likely thatif I were to walkthrougha shoppingmall holding hands with a woman, no one would look twice, not because of their openmindedness towardlesbian couples but ratherbecause of their assumptionthat I was the male half of a straightcouple.Recently,whenwalkingthrougha mall with a friendand her infant,my observationsof others'responsesto us led me to believe thatmanyof themassumedthatwe were a familyon an outing,thatis, thatI was her partnerand the fatherof the child. Dealingwith It AlthoughI now acceptthatbeing mistakenfor a man will be a partof my life so long as I choose not to participatein femininity,therehave been times when I consciously have tried to appearmore feminine. I did this for a while when I was an undergraduateandagainrecentlywhen I was on the academicjob market.The first time, I let my hairgrow nearlydownto my shouldersandhadit permed.I also grew long fingernailsandworenailpolish. Muchto my chagrin,even thenone of my professors, who did not knowmy name,insistentlyreferredto me in his kinshipexamples as "theson."Perhapsmy firstact on the way to my currentstance was to point out to this man, politely and afterclass, thatI was a woman. Morerecently,I againlet my hairgrowout for severalmonths,althoughI did not alterotheraspectsof my appearance.Oncemy hairwas abouttwo anda half inches long (fromits originalquarterinch),I realized,basedon my encounterswith strangers, thatI hadmore or less passedbackinto the categoryof "woman."Then,when I returnedto wearinga flat top, people again respondedto me as if I were a man. Because of my appearance,muchof my negotiationof interactionswith strangers involves attemptsto anticipatetheirreactionsto me. I need to assess whether they will be likely to assumethatI am a manandwhetherthatactuallymattersin the context of ourencounters.Many times, my genderreally is irrelevant,and it is just annoyingto be misidentified.Othertimes,particularlywhenmy appearanceis coupled with somethingthatidentifiesme by name(e.g., a check orcreditcard)without a photo, I might need to do somethingto ensurethatmy identityis not questioned. As a result of my experiences,I have developedsome techniquesto deal with gender misattribution. In general, in unfamiliarpublic places, I avoid using the rest room because I know thatit is a place wherethereis a high likelihoodof misattributionand where misattributionis socially important.If I must use a public rest room, I try to make myself look as nonthreateningas possible. I do not weara hat,andI tryto rearrange my clothing to make my breastsmore obvious. Here,I am tryingto use my secondarysex characteristicsto makemy gendermore obvious ratherthanthe usual use 790 GENDER & SOCIETY / December 1999 of genderto make sex obvious. While in the rest room, I nevermake eye contact, and I get in and out as quickly as possible. Going in with a woman friend also is helpful;herpresencelegitimizesmy own. People areless likely to thinkI am entering a space whereI do not belong when I am with someone who looks like she does belong.6 To those women who verballychallengemy presencein the restroom,I reply,"I know,"usually in an annoyedtone. Whenthey stareor talkaboutme to the women they are with, I simply get out as quickly as possible. In general,I do not wait for someoneI amwith becausethereis too muchchanceof anunpleasantencounter. I stoppedtryingon clothes beforepurchasingthema few years ago becausemy presence in the changing areaswas met with staresand whispers.Exceptions are storeswhere the dressingrooms arecompletelyprivate,wherethereareindividual stallsratherthana roomwith stalls separatedby curtains,or wherebusinessis slow andno one else is tryingon clothes.If I amtryingon a garmentclearlyintendedfor a woman,thenI usuallycan do so withouthassle. I guess the attendantsassumethatI must be a woman if I have, for example, a women's bathingsuit in my hand. But usually,I thinkit is easier for me to try the clothes on at home and returnthem, if necessary, ratherthan risk creating a scene. Similarly,when I am with another woman who is tryingon clothes, I just wait outside. My strategywith creditcards and checks is to anticipatewarinesson a clerk's part.When I sense thatthereis some doubtor when they challengeme, I say, "It's my card."I generallyrespondcourteouslyto requestsfor photo ID, realizing that these might be routinechecks because of concernsaboutincreasinglywidespread fraud.But for the clerkwho askedfor ID andstill did notthinkit was my card,I had a strongerreaction.Whenshe saidthatshe was sorryfor embarrassingme, I told her thatI was not embarrassedbut thatshe shouldbe. I also am particularlycarefulto make surethatmy signatureis consistentwith the backof the card.Facedwith such situations, I feel somewhat nervous about signing my name-which, of course, makes me worrythatmy signaturewill look differentfrom how it should. AnotherstrategyI have been experimentingwith is wearingnail polish in the dark bright colors currentlyfashionable.I try to do this when I travel by plane. Given more stringenttravelregulations,one always must presenta photo ID. But my experienceshave shown thatmy driver'slicense is not necessarilyconvincing. Nail polish mightbe. I also flash my polishednails when I enterairportrest rooms, hoping that they will providea clue thatI am indeed in the right place. Thereareothercases in which the issues areless those of identitythanof all the normsof interactionthat,in oursociety, aregendered.My most commonresponse to misattributionactuallyis to appearto ignoreit, thatis, to go on with the interaction as if nothingout of the ordinaryhas happened.Unless I feel thatthereis a good reasonto establishmy correctgender,I assumethe identityothersimpose on me for the sake of smooth interaction.For example, if someone is selling me a movie ticket,thenthereis no reasonto make surethatthe personhas accuratelydiscerned my gender.Similarly,if it is clearthatthe personusing "Sir"is talkingto me, thenI simply respondas appropriate.I acceptthe designationbecauseit is irrelevantto the Lucal / LIFE ON THE BOUNDARIES 791 situation.It takesenougheffortto be alertfor misattributionsandto decide which of them matter;respondingto each one would take more energy thanit is worth. Sometimes, if our interactioninvolves conversation,my first verbalresponseis enough to let the otherpersonknow thatI am actuallya womanandnot a man. My voice apparentlyis "feminine"enough to shift people's attributionsto the other category.I know when this has happenedby the apologies thatusually accompany the mistake.I usuallyrespondto the apologies by saying somethinglike "No problem" and/or "It happens all the time." Sometimes, a misattributorwill offer an accountfor the mistake,for example,sayingthatit was my hairorthatthey were not being very observant. These experiences with gender and misattributionprovide some theoretical insights into contemporaryWesternunderstandingsof gender and into the social structureof genderin contemporarysociety. Althoughthereare a numberof ways in which my experiencesconfirmthe work of others,there also are some ways in which my experiencessuggest otherinterpretationsand conclusions. WHAT DOES IT MEAN? Genderis pervasivein oursociety.I cannotchoose not to participatein it. Even if I try not to do gender,otherpeople will do it for me. That is, given our two-andonly-two rule, they mustattributeone of two gendersto me. Still, althoughI cannot choose not to participatein gender,I can choose notto participatein femininity(as I have), at least with respect to physical appearance. Thatis wherethe problemsbegin.Withoutthe decorationsof femininity,I do not look like a woman. That is, I do not look like what many people's commonsense understandingof gendertells thema womanlooks like. How I see myself, even how I mightwish otherswouldsee me, is socially irrelevant.It is the genderthatI appear to be (my "perceivedgender")thatis most relevantto my social identityandinteractionswith others.The majorconsequenceof this fact is thatI mustbe continually aware of which gender I "give off' as well as which gender I "give" (Goffman 1959). Because my genderself-identityis "notdisplayedobviously,immediately,and consistently"(Devor 1989, 58), I am somewhatof a failure in social terms with respect to gender.Causingpeople to be uncertainor wrong aboutone's genderis a violation of taken-for-granted rules thatleads to embarrassmentanddiscomfort;it meansthatsomethinghas gone wrongwith the interaction(Garfinkel1967; Kessler andMcKenna1978). This meansthatmy nonresponseto misattributionis the more socially appropriateresponse; I am allowing others to maintain face (Goffman 1959, 1967). By not calling attentionto their mistakes, I uphold their images of themselves as competentsocial actors.I also maintainmy own image as competent by letting them assume thatI am the genderI appearto them to be. But I still have discreditablestatus;I carrya stigma (Goffman 1963). Because I have failed to participateappropriatelyin the creationof meaning with respect to 792 GENDER & SOCIETY / December 1999 gender(Devor 1989), I can be called on to accountfor my appearance.If discredited, I show myself to be an incompetentsocial actor.I amthe one not following the rules, andI will pay the pricefor not providingpeople with the appropriatecues for placing me in the gendercategoryto which I really belong. I do thinkthatit is, in manycases, saferto be readas a manthanas some sort of deviantwoman."Man"is an acceptablecategory;it fits properlyinto people's genderworldview.Passingas a manoften is the "pathof least resistance"(Devor 1989; Johnson 1997). For example, in situationswhere gender does not matter,letting people take me as a man is easier thancorrectingthem. Conversely,as Butlernoted,"Weregularlypunishthose who fail to do theirgenderright"(1990, 140). Feinbergmaintained,"Masculinegirls andwomen face terrible condemnationand brutality-including sexual violence-for crossing the boundaryof whatis 'acceptable'female expression"(1996, 114). People aremore likely to harassme when they perceiveme to be a womanwho looks like a man.For example, when a groupof teenagersrealizedthatI was not a man because one of their mothers identified me correctly,they began to make derogatorycomments when I passed them. One asked,for example, "Does she have a penis?" Because of the assumptionthata "masculine"woman is a lesbian, there is the risk of homophobicreactions(Gardner1995; Lucal 1997). Perhapssurprisingly,I find that I am much more likely to be takenfor a man than for a lesbian, at least based on my interactionswith people and their reactions to me. This might be becausepeople areless likely to revealthattheyhavetakenme for a lesbianbecause it is less relevantto an encounteror because they believe this would be unacceptable. But I thinkit is morelikely a productof the strengthof ourtwo-and-only-two system. I give enough masculine cues that I am seen not as a deviantwoman but ratheras a man, at least in most cases. The problemseems not to be thatpeople are uncertainaboutmy gender,which mightlead themto concludethatI was a lesbian once they realized I was a woman. Rather,I seem to fit easily into a gender category-just not the one with which I identify. In fact, because men representthe dominantgenderin our society, being mistakenfor a man can protectme from othertypes of genderedharassment.Because men can move aroundin publicspacessafely (atleastrelativeto women),a "masculine" woman also can enjoy this freedom(Devor 1989). On the otherhand,my use of particularspaces-those designatedas for women only-may be challenged.Feinbergprovidedan intriguinganalysis of the public rest room experience.She characterizedwomen's reactionsto a masculineperson in a public rest room as "anexample of genderphobia"(1996, 117), viewing such women as policing gender boundariesratherthan believing that there really is a manin the women'srestroom.She arguedthatwomenwho trulybelievedthatthere was a manin theirmidstwouldreactdifferently.Althoughthis is an interestingperspective on her experiences,my experiencesdo not lead to the same conclusion.7 Enoughpeople have said to me that"Thisis the ladies' room"or have said to their companionsthat"Therewas a manin there"thatI taketheirreactionsat face value. Lucal / LIFE ON THE BOUNDARIES 793 Still, if the two-and-only-twogender system is to be maintained,participants mustbe involvedin policing the categoriesandtheirattendantidentitiesandspaces. Even if policing boundariesis not explicitly intended,boundarymaintenanceis the effect of such responses to people's genderdisplays. Boundariesandmarginsarean importantcomponentof bothmy experiencesof gender and our theoreticalunderstandingof genderingprocesses. I am, in effect, both womanandnot-woman.As a womanwho oftenis a social manbutwho also is a woman living in a patriarchalsociety, I am in a uniqueposition to see and act. I sometimes receive privileges usually limited to men, and I sometimes am oppressedby my status as a deviant woman. I am, in a sense, an outsider-within (Collins 1991). Positionedon the boundariesof gendercategories,I havedeveloped a consciousness that I hope will prove transformative(Anzaldua 1987). In fact, one of the reasons why I decided to continue my nonparticipationin femininitywas thatmy sociological trainingsuggestedthatthis could be one of my contributionsto the eventualdismantlingof patriarchalgenderconstructs.It would be my way of makingthe personalpolitical.I acceptedbeing takenfor a man as the priceI wouldpay to help subvertpatriarchy.I believedthatall of the inconveniences I was enduringmeantthatI actuallywas doing somethingto bringdown the gender structuresthat entangledall of us. Then, I read Lorber's(1994) Paradoxesof Genderand found out, much to my dismay,thatI mightnot actuallybe challenginggenderafterall. Because of the way in which doing genderworksin ourtwo-and-only-twosystem, genderdisplays are simply read as evidence of one of the two categories.Therefore,gender bending, blending,and passing betweenthe categoriesdo not questionthe categoriesthemselves. If one's social genderandpersonal(true)genderdo not correspond,thenthis is irrelevantunless someone notices the lack of congruence. This realitybringsme to a paradoxof my experiences.First,not only do others assumethatI am one genderor the other,butI also insist thatI reallyam a member of one of the two gendercategories.Thatis, I amfemale;I self-identifyas a woman. I do not claim to be some other genderor to have no genderat all. I simply place myself in the wrong categoryaccordingto stereotypesand culturalstandards;the genderI present,or thatsome people perceiveme to be presenting,is inconsistent with the genderwith which I identify myself as well as with the genderI could be "proven"to be. Socially, I display the wrong gender;personally,I identify as the propergender. Second, althoughI ultimatelywould like to see the destructionof our current genderstructure,I am not to the pointof personallyabandoninggender.Rightnow, I do not wantpeople to see me as genderlessas much as I wantthem to see me as a woman.Thatis, I would like to expandthe categoryof "woman"to includepeople like me. I, too, am deeply embeddedin ourgendersystem,even thoughI do notplay by many of its rules. Forme, as for most people in oursociety, genderis a substantial partof my personalidentity(Howardand Hollander1997). Socially, the problem is thatI do not presenta genderdisplaythatis consistentlyreadas feminine.In fact, I consciously do not participatein the trappingsof femininity.However,I do 794 GENDER & SOCIETY / December 1999 identify myself as a woman, not as a man or as someone outside of the two-andonly-two categories. Yet, I do believe, as Lorber(1994) does, thatthe purposeof gender,as it currentlyis constructed,is to oppresswomen.Lorberanalyzedgenderas a "processof creatingdistinguishablesocial statusesfor the assignmentof rights and responsibilities" that ends up puttingwomen in a devaluedand oppressedposition (1994, 32). As Martinput it, "Bodies that clearly delineate gender status facilitate the maintenanceof the genderhierarchy"(1998, 495). Forsociety, gendermeansdifference(Lorber1994). The erosionof the boundaries would problematizethat structure.Therefore,for genderto operateas it currentlydoes, the category"woman"cannotbe expandedto includepeople like me. The maintenanceof the genderstructureis dependenton the creationof a few categoriesthataremutuallyexclusive,themembersof whichareas differentas possible (Lorber1994). It is the clarityof the boundariesbetweenthe categoriesthatallows gender to be used to assign rights and responsibilitiesas well as resources and rewards. It is thatpartof gender-what it is used for-that is most problematic.Indeed,is it notpatriarchal-or, even morespecifically,heteropatriarchal-constructionsof gender that are actually the problem?It is not the differences between men and women, or the categoriesthemselves,so muchas the meaningsascribedto the categories and,even moreimportant,the hierarchicalnatureof genderunderpatriarchy that is the problem (Johnson 1997). Therefore, I am rebelling not against my femaleness or even my womanhood;instead,I am protestingcontemporaryconstructionsof femininityand,atleastindirectly,masculinityunderpatriarchy.We do not, in fact, knowwhatgenderwouldlook like if it were notconstructedaroundheterosexualityin the context of patriarchy. Althoughit is possible thatthe end of patriarchywould meanthe end of gender, it is at least conceivablethatsomethinglike whatwe now call gendercould exist in a postpatriarchalfuture.The two-and-only-twocategorizationmightwell disappear, therebeing no hierarchyfor it to justify. But I do not thinkthatwe shouldmakethe assumptionthatgender and patriarchyare synonymous. Theoretically,this analysispoints to some similaritiesanddifferencesbetween the work of Lorber(1994) andthe worksof Butler(1990), Goffman(1976, 1977), and West and Zimmerman(1987). Lorber(1994) conceptualizedgenderas social structure,whereasthe othersfocused moreon the interactiveandprocessualnature of gender.Butler(1990) andGoffman(1976, 1977) view genderas a performance, andWestandZimmerman(1987) examinedit as somethingall of us do. One result of this differencein approachis thatin Lorber's(1994) work,gendercomes across as something that we are caught in-something that, despite any attemptsto the contrary,we cannot breakout of. This conclusion is particularlyapparentin Lorber's argumentthatgenderrebellion,in the context of our two-and-only-twosystem, ends up supportingwhatit purportsto subvert.Yet,my own experiencessuggest an alternativepossibilitythatis morein line with the view of genderofferedby Lucal / LIFE ON THE BOUNDARIES 795 West and Zimmerman(1987): If genderis a productof interaction,and if it is produced in a particular context, then it can be changed if we change our performances. However,the effects of a performancelinger, and gender ends up being institutionalized.It is institutionalized,in oursociety,in a way thatperpetuatesinequality,as Lorber's(1994) workshows. So, it seems thata combinationof these two approachesis needed. In fact, Lorber's(1994) work seems to suggest that effective gender rebellion requiresa moreblatantapproach-bearded men in dresses,perhaps,or more active responsesto misattribution.Forexample,if I correctedeverypersonwho called me "Sir,"andif I insistedon my rightto be addressedappropriatelyand grantedaccess to women-only spaces, then perhapsI could startto breakdown gendernorms.If I assertedmy rightto use publicfacilities withoutbeing harassed,andif I challenged each person who gave me "thelook,"then perhapsI would be contributingto the demise of gender as we know it. It seems thatthe key would be to provide visible evidence of the nonmutualexclusivityof the categories.Wouldthis breakdown the patriarchal components of gender? Perhaps it would, but it also would be exhausting. Perhapsthereis anotherpossibility.In a recentbook, TheGenderKnot,Johnson (1997) arguedthat when it comes to genderand patriarchy,most of us follow the paths of least resistance;we "go along to get along,"allowing our actions to be shapedby the gendersystem.Collectively,ouractionshelp patriarchymaintainand perpetuatea system of oppressionandprivilege.Thus,by withdrawingoursupport from this system by choosing pathsof greaterresistance,we can startto chip away at it. Many people participatein genderbecause they cannotimagine any alternatives. In my classroom, and in my interactionsand encounterswith strangers,my presence can make it difficult for people not to see that there are other paths. In otherwords,following fromWestandZimmerman(1987), I can subvertgenderby doing it differently. Forexample,I thinkit is truethatmy existencedoes nothave aneffect on strangers who assumethatI am a manandneverlearnotherwise.Forthem,I do upholdthe two-and-only-twosystem.But thereareothercases in whichmy existence can have an effect. Forexample,whenpeople initiallytakeme for a manbutthenfindout that I actuallyam a woman, at least for thatmoment,the naturalnessof gendermay be called into question. In these cases, my presence can provokea "categorycrisis" (Garber1992, 16) because it challenges the sex/genderbinarysystem. The subversivepotential of my gender might be strongestin my classrooms. When I teach aboutthe sociology of gender,my studentscan see me as the embodiment of the social constructionof gender.Not all of my studentshave transformative experiencesas a resultof takinga coursewith me; thereis the chancethatsome of them see me as a "freak"or as an exception.Still, afterlistening to stories about my experiences with gender and readingliteratureon the subject, many students begin to see how and why genderis a social product.I can disentanglesex, gender, andsexualityin the contemporaryUnitedStatesfor them.Studentscan begin to see the connection between biographicalexperiencesand the structureof society. As 796 GENDER & SOCIETY / December 1999 one of my studentsnoted,I clearlylive thematerialI amteaching.If thathelps me to get my pointacross,thenperhapsI am subvertingthe binarygendersystem afterall. Althoughmy genderedpresenceandmy way of doing gendermightmakeothersandsometimeseven me-uncomfortable, no one eversaidthatdismantlingpatriarchy was going to be easy. NOTES 1. Ethnomethodologyhas been describedas "thestudyof commonsensepracticalreasoning"(Collins 1988, 274). It examines how people make sense of theireverydayexperiences.Ethnomethodology is particularlyuseful in studyinggenderbecauseit helpsto uncoverthe assumptionson which ourunderstandingsof sex and genderare based. 2. I thankan anonymousreviewerfor suggestingthatI use these distinctionsamong the partsof a person'sgender. 3. I obviously have left muchout by not examiningmy genderedexperiencesin the contextof race, age, class, sexuality,region,andso forth.Sucha projectclearlyis morecomplex.As Westonpointedout, genderpresentationsarecomplicatedby otherstatusesof theirpresenters:"Whatit takesto kick a person overinto anothergenderedcategorycan differwith race,class, religion,andtime"(1996, 168). Furthermore, I am well awarethatmy whitenessallows me to assumethatmy experiencesaresimply a product of gender (see, e.g., hooks 1981; Lucal 1996; Spelman 1988; West and Fenstermaker1995). For now, suffice it to say thatit is my privilegedpositionon some of these axes andmy moredisadvantagedposition on othersthat combine to delineatemy overallexperience. 4. In fact, such experiencesare not always limited to encounterswith strangers.My grandmother, who does not see me often,twice has mistakenme foreithermy brother-in-lawor some unknownman. 5. My experiencesin restroomsandotherpublicspaces mightbe verydifferentif I were, say, African Americanratherthan white. Given the stereotypesof African Americanmen, I think that white women would react very differentlyto encounteringme (see, e.g., Staples [1986] 1993). 6. I also have noticedthatthereare certaintypes of rest rooms in which I will not be verballychallenged;the higherthe social statusof the place, the less likely I will be harassed.Forexample,when I go to the theater,I might get staredat, but my presenceneverhas been challenged. 7. An anonymousreviewer offered one possible explanationfor this. Women see women's rest rooms as their space; they feel safe, and even empowered,there. Insteadof fearingmen in such space, they might insteadpose a threatto any manwho mightintrude.Theirinvulnerabilityin this situationis, of course,not physicallybasedbutrathersocially constructed.I thankthereviewerforthis suggestion. REFERENCES Anzaldua,G. 1987. Borderlands/LaFrontera.San Francisco:Aunt Lute Books. Bem, S. L. 1993. The lenses of gender.New Haven,CT:Yale UniversityPress. Berger,P. 1963. Invitationto sociology. New York:Anchor. Bordo, S. 1993. Unbearableweight. Berkeley:Universityof CaliforniaPress. Brownmiller,C. 1984. Femininity.New York:Fawcett. Butler,J. 1990. Gendertrouble.New York:Routledge. Collins, P. H. 1991. Blackfeminist thought.New York:Routledge. Collins, R. 1988. Theoreticalsociology. San Diego: HarcourtBrace Jovanovich. Devor, H. 1989. Genderblending: Confrontingthe limits of duality.Bloomington:IndianaUniversity Press. Lucal / LIFE ON THE BOUNDARIES 797 Feinberg,L. 1996. Transgenderwarriors.Boston: Beacon. Garber,M. 1992. Vestedinterests:Cross-dressingand culturalanxiety.New York:HarperPerennial. Gardner,C. B. 1995. Passing by: Genderand public harassment.Berkeley:Universityof California. Garfinkel,H. 1967. Studies in ethnomethodology.Englewood Cliffs, NJ: PrenticeHall. Goffman,E. 1959. Thepresentationof self in everydaylife. GardenCity, NY: Doubleday. .1963. Stigma.Englewood Cliffs, NJ: PrenticeHall. .1967. Interactionritual. New York:Anchor/Doubleday. .1976. Genderdisplay.Studies in the Anthropologyof VisualCommunication3:69-77. . 1977. The arrangementbetween the sexes. Theoryand Society 4:301-31. hooks, b. 1981. Ain't I a woman:Black womenandfeminism. Boston: SouthEnd Press. Howard,J. A., andJ. Hollander.1997. Genderedsituations,genderedselves. ThousandOaks,CA: Sage. Kessler, S. J., and W. McKenna. 1978. Gender:An ethnomethodologicalapproach.New York:John Wiley. Krieger,S. 1991. Social science and the self. New Brunswick,NJ: RutgersUniversityPress. 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Betsy Lucal is an assistantprofessorof sociology at Indiana UniversitySouth Bend, whereshe teaches gender, classical theory,feminist theory, and introductionto sociology. Her current researchfocuses on systems of oppressionand privilege, withparticular attention to race and gender,and on teaching about inequalitiesand theory.
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