And when love speaks, the voice of all the gods
Makes heaven drowsy with the harmony.
~ Love’s Labour’s Lost
Seduction by Shakespeare
Copyright © 2004, TCB-Cafe Publishing
Cover Copyright © 2004, TCB Cafe Publishing
ISBN 0-9674898-6-5
Library of Congress Control Number: 2003095735
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored
in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means,
electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the
prior permission of TCB-Cafe Publishing.
Every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of the information
in this book prior to publication. Neither TCB-Cafe Publishing nor any
of its employees or associates assumes any legal liability or responsibility
for the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any information herein, or
consequences arising from the use of this book.
TCB Cafe Publishing
PO Box 471706
San Francisco, CA 94147
www.cafeandre.com
Printed in the USA
Seduction
by Shakespeare
Advice, Observations and Quotes on
Love, Lust, Beauty & Desire
Table of Contents
I. The Shakespeare Method
Shakespeare on Love
Shakespeare on Lust
Shakespeare on Beauty
Shakespeare on Desire
II. Seduction by Scenario
Seductive Responses to Common
Situations
6
11
12
14
15
16
III. Shakespearean Advice
106
IV. Warnings to the Wise
112
V. More Great Quotes from the Bard
122
VI. Index
128
6 SEDUCTION BY SHAKESPEARE
The Shakespeare Method of
seduction
William Shakespeare wrote hundreds of sonnets, plays, and
poems, capturing for generations the issues of life in tragedies
and comedies. He traversed a multitude of topics, from war to
money to politics, but one of his favorite themes was romance.
Love, lust, beauty and desire were examined and explained
in almost every one of his creations. He looked at these
elements of romance from a variety of perspectives, whether it
be that of a cheated king, a passionate princess, a merchant
scorned, or a breathless lover. Seduction was his specialty, in
WHAT IS IT?
7
both fiction and reality. His personal love-affairs are legendary,
and Shakespeare’s lessons have become a part of Western
civilization and culture. No artist has had such an impact
on so many people’s romantic expectations, behaviors, and
perceptions.
This is why we have gone back to the master, the Bard, to
collect his best and most insightful observations and advice on
areas that continue to obsess us even today, and drive us to
seduce, and be seduced. Taken together, they create what is
officially called "The Shakespeare Method of Seduction."
8 SEDUCTION BY SHAKESPEARE
A Few Guidelines
Everything has a time, and everything has a place. The
Shakespeare Method of Seduction is based on the right phrase
for the right circumstance. To make it easier to figure out when
that is, we’ve given you two tools. The first is a suggestion at
the bottom of each page which recommends the situation that
best matches a particular quote or phrase. For example, there
are recommendations for the best way to set up for a first kiss,
or to end a kiss, or to compliment someone at dinner.
We’ve also created a set of icons that indicate the point in
a relationship when any particular quote is appropriate. This
is helpful because obviously you would not want to talk too
much about Love with someone you’ve only dated once.
WHAT IS IT?
9
1
2
3
. Use frequently. Don’t just pull it out of a hat every six years. The more
you use them, the more useful they become.
. Be relaxed. Be open to initial laughter, but even more inviting of
smiles.
. Write down a favorite quote or two and say them a few times. You’ll
become more comfortable with them, as well as avoid reducing their
impact because you’re wondering if you remembered all the words.
4
5
6
. Don’t worry if you can’t remember all the words, just continue along in
the spirit of what they are trying to convey.
. Never speak with a fake English accent (no “Merry Ole England” or
“Very good, Gov’na”). It may be funny, but you won’t be very seductive.
. Change the gender in the quote as required. For the most part,
Shakespeare wrote about love between a woman and a man, but was not
always the case. Regardless of your situation, don’t let a pronoun (he, she, her,
him) stand in the way of a good seductive quote.
7
. Do not use Shakespeare as a pick-up line, primarily because pick-up
lines don’t seduce, and secondarily because using Shakespeare quotes as
pick-up lines is as old as America. It’s generally a tired tactic, and puts you in
the same category as people who ask, “What’s your sign?”
WHAT IS IT?
Shakespeare on Love
Love surfeits not.
Lust like a glutton dies;
Love is all truth,
Lust full of forged lies.
~ Venus and Adonis
11
12 SEDUCTION BY SHAKESPEARE
Shakespeare on Lust
The expense of spirit in a waste of shame
Is lust in action; and till action, lust
Is perjured, murderous, bloody, full of blame,
Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust;
Enjoyed no sooner but despised straight,
Past reason hunted, and no sooner had
Past reason hated, as a swallowed bait
On purpose laid to make the taker mad:
Mad in pursuit and in possession so;
Had, having, and in quest to have, extreme;
A bliss in proof, and proved, a very woe;
Before, a joy proposed; behind, a dream.
All this the world well knows; yet none knows well
To shun the heaven that leads men to this hell.
~ Sonnet 129
WHAT IS IT?
13
Our bodies are our gardens, to the which our wills are
gardeners; so that if we will plant nettles or sow lettuce,
set hyssop and weed up thyme, supply it with one gender
of herbs or distract it with many, either to have it sterile
with idleness or manured with industry, why, the power and
corrigible authority of this lies in our wills. If the balance
of our lives had not one scale of reason to poise another
of sensuality, the blood and baseness of our natures would
conduct us to most preposterous conclusions; but we have
reason to cool our raging motions, our carnal stings, our
unbitted lusts, whereof I take this that you call love to be a
sect or scion --It is merely a lust of the blood and a permission of the will.
~ Othello
14 SEDUCTION BY SHAKESPEARE
Shakespeare on Beauty
Beauty is but a vain and doubtful good;
A shining gloss that vadeth suddenly;
A flower that dies when first it begins to bud;
A brittle glass that is broken presently:
A doubtful good, a gloss, a glass, a flower,
Lost, vaded, broken, dead within an hour.
And as goods lost are seld or never found,
As vaded gloss no rubbing will refresh,
As flowers dead lie withered on the ground,
As broken glass no cement can redress,
So beauty blemished once is for ever lost,
In spite of physic, painting, pain, and cost.
- ~ The Passionate Pilgrim
WHAT IS IT?
He hath a daily beauty in his life
That makes me ugly
~ Othello
Shakespeare on Desire
My love is as a fever, longing still
For that which longer nurseth the disease,
Feeding on that which doth preserve the ill
- Sonnet 147
Impatiently I burn with thy desire;
My heart and hands thou hast at once subdued.
- King Henry VI
15
16 SEDUCTION BY SHAKESPEARE
SEDUCTION by SCENARIO
SEDUCTIVE RESPONSES
FOR COMMON SITUATIONS
SEDUCTION BY SCENARIO
17
recommended usage:
Seduction Level A - You have just recently met | This
is a first or early date
Seduction Level B - You have dated each other more
than two times or already have some sort of romantic
relationship
Seduction Level C - You are being or already have
been intimate together
18 SEDUCTION BY SHAKESPEARE
This bud of love, by summer’s ripening breath,
May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet.
~ Romeo and Juliet
What to say at the end of the 3rd date
SEDUCTION BY SCENARIO
They do not love that do not show their love.
~ The Two Gentlemen of Verona
What to say right before a kiss
19
20 SEDUCTION BY SHAKESPEARE
Hereafter in a better world than this,
I shall desire more love and knowledge of you.
~ ~ As You Like It
What to say after a first kiss
SEDUCTION BY SCENARIO
23
I swear to thee, by Cupid’s strongest bow,
By his best arrow with the golden head,
By the simplicity of Venus’ doves,
By that which knitteth souls and prospers loves,
And by that fire which burn’d the Carthage queen,
When the falseTroyan under sail was seen,
By all the vows that ever men have broke,
In number more than ever women spoke,
In that same place thou hast appointed me,
To-morrow truly will I meet with thee.
~ A Midsummer Night’s Dream
How to respond after confirming a date
SEDUCTION BY SCENARIO
25
If I could write the Beauty of your Eyes,
And in fresh Numbers number all your Graces,
The Age to Come would say “This Poet lies:
Such Heavenly Touches never touched Earthly Faces.”
~ Sonnet 17
How to express your date's attractiveness
26 SEDUCTION BY SHAKESPEARE
Love’s fire heats water, water cools not love.
~ Sonnet 154
What to say when in water, such as in a shower,
at the beach, in a pool or hot tub, or kissing
in the rain
SEDUCTION BY SCENARIO
27
Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.
~ Venus and Adonis
What to send in an email when the recipient is
not having a great day