Maturity: Practical Wisdom on being a Grown-Up
“The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is
that he wants to live humbly for one.” ― J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye
So many adults live in an emotionally regressed state of mind or existence. What, exactly, does it mean to be
a mature adult? Some believe it’s a number, an age; some may believe it requires a rite of passage. Here is a
list of general traits of those men and women who demonstrate maturity on a mental, emotional, and spiritual
level:

Take responsibility for your own life. Do not blame others for your choices, behaviors, actions, or
mistakes. Be a man or woman of honor, look yourself in the mirror, and take ownership of who you are.
“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's
character lies in their own hands.” - Anne Frank

Realize growth is a process. Allow yourself the grace and understanding to learn and grow one day at a
time, one circumstance at a time. Becoming a mature adult is a continual process. Big jumps of growth
never come; instead, people grow by small increments. If you want to be good at math, do not worry
about how big the book is, instead, focus on today’s homework.
“The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.” – Carl Rogers

Overcome fear. Fear is common; you will have many opportunities in life to experience it. Overcoming
fear does not necessarily mean not feeling fear, rather, it means learning how to succeed in spite of the
feeling. The best way to overcome fear is to value courage. If you find yourself feeling afraid, do not give
the fear the power; instead, value courage, be brave, and do what is necessary regardless of how you feel.
Experience your fears, and go ahead in spite of them.
“It’s OKAY to be scared. Being scared means you’re about to do something really, really brave.” ― Mandy
Hale

Learn to manage pain. Self-focused individuals tend to overly emphasize their pains and inconveniences
in life, overrating the feelings that cause them to feel uncomfortable. Immature individuals tend to let
pain stop them from accomplishing their responsibilities. Rather than avoiding pain, the best approach in
maturity is to face it head on, realizing that the pains in life are often the building blocks of wisdom,
strength and skill.
“Adversity toughens manhood, and the characteristic of the good or the great man is not that he has been
exempt from the evils of life, but that he has surmounted them.” – Patrick Henry

Be diligent. Diligence means showing initiative and working hard. Life is not a spectator sport. Maturity
requires action. You can dream about life being an adventure, or you can live a life of adventure.
Whatever you dream about, take one action step today to begin the process of reaching your dream.
Diligence requires action verbs – study, work, build, invest…
“Diligence is the mother of good luck.” – Ben Franklin

Know how to properly handle temptation. Always remember, temptations are invitations to destroy your
life. Understand that each temptation you face is designed to destroy some valuable part of you. Every
temptation you face is common to mankind. When faced with temptation do three things – (a) flee; (b)
ask yourself, “What should I be doing instead right now?” and (c) do something good instead. Do not try
to stand up against temptation, telling yourself you should be strong enough to face it; rather, leave the
situation immediately.
“I can resist everything except temptation.”– Oscar Wilde

Manage authority well. In other words, when you are placed in a position of authority, use this as an
instance to lead well, by example. Do not be a person who abuses his authority, by hurting others or by
being selfish. When in authority, be a servant leader; that is, instead of saying, “Do this, do that,” say
instead, “Come on, I’ll show the way.”
“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” - John C. Maxwell

Be a good life partner. Not everyone chooses to get married; but if you want to be a person of integrity,
with a fulfilling lifelong partner, then prepare yourself for the task. There are three essential ingredients
for having a healthy intimate relationship; these are – listening skills, empathy, and validation. Having a
fulfilling lifelong relationship requires intimacy – that is being real and vulnerable with one other person;
taking off the mask of superficiality and being unwilling to hold the other at arm’s length. Healthy
connection requires risk. Be the type of person who shows respect, care, and thoughtfulness to the other.
Do not go in to the relationship looking for what you can take from the other person; rather look at how
you can best love that person.
“Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice.” – Fawn Weaver

Be a lifelong learner. Education and going to school are not necessarily the same. Even if you have a
college degree you may not be learned about the things of life. A good education prepares you for the
events that occur in life, and often, the most valuable learning does not occur in the classroom.
“Education comprehends all that series of instruction and discipline which is intended to enlighten the
understanding, correct the temper, and form the manners and habits of youth, and fit them for usefulness
in their future stations.” – Noah Webster

Forgive others. Do not waste your valuable time ruminating over how others have hurt you. Instead,
acknowledge that you have been hurt; process your feelings of anger, betrayal, despair, disappointment,
or any other feelings regarding the situation. Make a conscious decision to turn over your negative
feelings to God, trusting that you do not have to retaliate or seek restitution from the person who harmed
you. Make the choice to have a forgiving heart; open your hands and “let go” of your hurts. This frees up
your mind to think and do good.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do
that.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.