4 Weeks of Self-Knowledge: The Guide to Sentence Completion
Contents
How to do the Course
Chapter 1: Introduction and Course Structure
3
Chapter 2: What is Sentence Completion?
6
Chapter 3: The Weekly Review
8
Support and Guidance
Chapter 4: How to Deal with Repetition
10
Chapter 5: 3 Tips to Enhance your Memory
11
Chapter 6: How to Stick to a Daily Practice
13
Chapter 7: Complementary Practices:
Meditation and Journalling
15
Chapter 8: How to Rock the Self-Praise
17
Chapter 9: Encouragement for Hard Times
19
Chapter 10: How to Deal with the Snoozies
21
Chapter 11: The C-Word
23
Chapter 12: On Self-Acceptance and
Compassion
25
Chapter 13: Onwards and Beyond
27
What Next?
28
Cover art: Will Moyer
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4 Weeks of Self-Knowledge: The Guide to Sentence Completion
Chapter 1: Introduction and Course
Structure
Thank you so much for signing up to 4 Weeks of Self-Knowledge. Congratulations,
you’ve made a valuable commitment to yourself and I hope you find the next four
weeks enjoyable and insightful. Sentence completion is something that I have found incredibly rewarding, and,
through doing a regular practice, I’ve learned so much about myself that I might
not have otherwise. One of the things I love about sentence completion is that you
don’t have to spend a huge amount of time doing it - each day’s sentences
shouldn’t take longer than 10 minutes (if they do, you’re over-thinking it!). This
means that whatever your existing schedule or commitments, this isn’t going to
weigh you down.
Later in this chapter, I’ll tell you all about sentence completion and how it works,
but first I want to give you a quick explanation of the course’s structure, and what
you can expect during the four weeks.
Course Structure
Your time is valuable, and the course is designed to help you get the most out of
the next 28 days. Each morning, you’ll receive an email with that day’s stems, so
you don’t have to remember where you are in the course, or keep track of which
stems you’re supposed to be completing - just do the exercises in that day’s email.
Starting the day after you sign up, you will receive the first six stems. You'll get the
same stems every day for three days, and you complete all six stems six times
every day (i.e. 36 stems in total per day).
On the fourth day of the week, you’ll get six new stems, and will receive the same
six stems each day for 3 days. The seventh day is a chance to reflect on what you
have written during the week, and then you'll start receiving the next set of
sentences for the first half of week two.
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4 Weeks of Self-Knowledge: The Guide to Sentence Completion
Here’s a visual break-down showing what you’ll get in the first week:
Week 1
Part 1 (Days 1-3)
1. When I think about sticking to this exercise for 4 weeks, I feel... x6
2. Something that might stop me from dedicating this time to myself is... x6
3. The way I plan to make time for this every day is… x6
4. I might find it difficult to... x6
5. When I think of what difference this could make, I feel… x6
6. Aspects of my life I hope this course will influence include… x6
Part 2 (Days 4-6)
1. I regularly feel… x6
2. More often, I want to feel… x6
3. Something that stops me feeling these things is… x6
4. I need… x6
5. I want to develop… x6
6. Something I will need to do these things is… x6
Review (Day 7)
1. 'When I look back on my answers this week, I notice...' (complete 10 stems)
2. 'When I look back on my answers this week, I feel...' (complete 10 stems) The structure is the same for each of the four weeks: one set of sentences for three
days, a second set of sentences for three days, then a review day.
You don’t have to start your daily practice on the first day you start receiving
emails. I know all too well how best laid plans to commit to something for a certain
amount of time can be disrupted by all kinds of events, situations and
circumstances. I suggest you keep all course-related emails; you can even create
a special folder called “4 Weeks of Self-Knowledge” in your email account, and put
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4 Weeks of Self-Knowledge: The Guide to Sentence Completion
each day’s email in there as soon as you’re done with it. That way, if you get
interrupted, it’s easy to go back and pick up where you left off, or start the course
again. Even if you don’t, it might be fun for your to revisit the course at a later date.
This ebook is designed to give you an insight into sentence completion, and
explain some of the benefits a daily practice will bring to your life. I’ll also support
you through some of the challenges you might experience during the next four
weeks, and provide guidance on how to approach them with compassion and
empathy for yourself.
How you use the book is up to you: you can read the whole thing at once before
starting, or dip in and dip out as you wish during the next four weeks. Print it out,
send it to your e-reader, or keep it on your computer for when you need it. Each
chapter title summarizes the content, so you can easily refer to the section that
feels most relevant at any time.
If you have any questions or feedback, please email me at
[email protected]. Thanks for signing up, and happy writing!
Best wishes,
www.becomingwhoyouare.net
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Chapter 2: What is Sentence Completion?
Perhaps you've done sentence completion before, or perhaps this is the first time
you've heard of it. Here's a little background information to get you started:
Sentence completion is a tool that can help develop your self-awareness around
particular issues. The practice comes with very few 'rules', the most important one
being that it's important not to over-think your answers. The whole point of
sentence completion is to use the first six answers that come into your head for a
particular stem. After you've completed each stem six times, you move on to the
next one. This is a quick process and each day's sentences should take around 10
to 20 minutes to complete.
The best time for me to complete these sentences is first thing in the morning, but
try experimenting with different times of day to find out what works for you. The
reason I like doing my practice early is because I can focus on the sentences with
a fresh mind, before I get involved in the day's tasks and that freshness becomes
cluttered with to-dos and the outside world.
You can do sentence completion by hand or digitally. Again, try experimenting to
find out what works best for you. I prefer writing by hand as it feels more organic
and more 'me', but some people find that method too slow and prefer being able
to complete their stems as quickly as possible. Don't worry if you start to see a lot of repetition in your answers - you’re providing
six answers to the same stems three days running, so it's understandable that
some of those answers might be the same! Each set of sentences lasts for three
days for two reasons:
1) The repetition helps us identify any patterns or changes in our responses that
come up during the week.
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2) Repeating the exercise throughout the week can encourage underlying
thoughts or feelings rise to the surface, which might not if we were to only do the
sentences once, then move on.
It might feel like you don't have six different things to say about each stem each
day, but often the first couple of responses we give are our conscious answers,
and it's helpful to keep going to tap into our unconscious answers. So try not to
think too much, just let it all come out.
The experience of completing this course will be different for every person. Some
weeks will be invigorating and rewarding, and you might experience some of the
weeks as harder than others. Certain stems might be difficult to answer, or leave
you with thoughts and feelings that don't sit comfortably. At times like these, you
might find it helpful to have a support structure. This can be someone you call
when you need to, someone who is also doing the sentence completion course, or
a group you can meet with and talk to about your experiences.
Even during more challenging sentences, the experience that comes with
completing this four-week course is completely worth it. At the end, you will have
invested in a deeper connection with yourself, have a better understanding of what
makes you tick, and have a plan in place to maintain and develop this connection
and awareness going forward.
Are you ready?
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Chapter 3: The Weekly Review
The act of completing the sentences each day is rewarding in itself, but the weekly
review can be even more of an eye-opener. The review is about reflecting on your
week’s sentences, and noticing what thoughts and feelings come up as you review
your answers.
It’s a chance to look back over your sentence stems and notice patterns,
unexpected answers and anything you found challenging to think about or accept.
Lots of thoughts and feelings might come up during your daily sentences, and
doing a weekly review in retrospect can remind you of important moments, and
help you gather your thoughts from the last seven days.
Just as there's very few 'rules' for completing your sentences, the way in which you
conduct your weekly review is flexible. You’ll receive the following sentences on
review days, and you can use these to start your review: 1. 'When I look back on my answers this week, I notice...' (complete 10 stems)
2. 'When I look back on my answers this week, I feel...' (complete 10 stems) Feel free to supplement these sentences with any of your own. It doesn't matter if
you come up with the same answers to each sentence multiple times - that
repetition is just something to notice, and it might be that a particular repeated
answer is important to you at this moment.
Like the sentences, the weekly review is best done during dedicated time and with
a clear mind. You can experiment with the format: if you hand-write your sentences
during the week, how does it feel to type up your weekly review, or vice versa?
As a companion to a weekly review in the sentence completion format, you can
also try journalling long-hand about how you have experienced the last week’s
sentences. This is especially useful if you want to explore thoughts that have come
up during the week, or during the review, and need more space to do so.
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You don’t have to stick to the same method or format each week - trust that you
know what style of sentence completion or journaling is right for you to be able to
process that week’s sentences, and listen to your intuition.
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Chapter 4: How to Deal with Repetition
During the course, you might notice a few patterns starting to show, especially if
you’ve seen the same or similar answers appear several times. When that
happens, you might feel frustrated, stuck, or like this isn’t ‘working’. Maybe you’ve
decided your mind isn’t opening up in the way it should do. If so, that’s OK; this
chapter is for you and I hope it’ll be helpful.
The repetitions are a gift. With repeated or similar answers, your mind is telling you exactly what you need to
know. It’s offering up what it has to say on a platter, it’s waving colored flags, it’s
flashing neon signs in your direction that say “LOOK AT THIS!”. True, your mind doesn’t always communicate what it wants to say clearly, which is
why repeated answers can be frustrating. You might not understand why this
particular answer is so important, why it keeps coming up again and again, why
it’s the only thing you can think of when you read a certain stem.
But the reason will be there, somewhere. These answers keep coming up because
your mind thinks you aren’t listening or haven’t quite understood it yet. It’s trying to
talk to you, and it will keep finding ways to tell you until you figure it out. The
repeated answers are a bit like repeated dreams: they tell you exactly what you
need to know, you just have to crack the code first.
So go back and look at the patterns, the repetitions, notice which answers stand
out, or have provoked most frustration and think “What is my mind trying to tell me?
What is it that my subconscious wants me to know?”
The answer is in there, and you will be richer for knowing it.
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Chapter 5: 3 Tips to Enhance your
Memory
Memory is a funny thing; we can recall all kinds of weird and wonderful facts and
tidbits at the drop of a hat, yet can look back on certain periods of our lives and
experience total blankness. Some of the sentences during Four Weeks of SelfKnowledge ask you to reflect on your childhood and think about specific things
you associate with that period and the people in it. Retrospecting in this way might be challenging. Childhood could be a long time
ago now, and you might find it difficult to remember how things were. You might
also find that even if it wasn’t that long ago, it’s hard to remember certain portions
of this period of your life. This doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t be able to complete these exercises.
Below are a couple of ways you can try to get in touch with that time, or find out
more about what life was like.
Talk to family members
Even if you can’t remember what messages you received during your childhood,
perhaps you know someone who can. Try talking to parents, siblings or extended
family and asking questions about you as a child and their relationship with you.
When doing this, be aware that they might have their own stories about your
childhood that might not be totally accurate, so listen to your own feelings about
what they have to say. If you’re still in touch with friends or neighbors from that
time, you can try talking to them too.
Look in the present
Even if you feel you have drastically changed in adulthood, chances are that you’ll
carry some of your childhood beliefs forward with you. Think about your
relationship with yourself: what kind of self-talk do you engage in? Is it positive and
encouraging, or critical and demotivating? Think about the core beliefs you hold
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about your life, such as whether you have achieved enough, how you measure
‘success’, and how you approach your relationships with other people. Do you
automatically assume everyone will like you, or do you fear their judgements? All
this information can help you piece together some of the messages you might
have received as a child from the people around you.
Use complementary practices
We’ll be talking more about journalling and meditation as complementary practices
to this sentence completion course in Chapter 7. These tools won’t necessarily
help you remember forgotten aspects of your childhood, but you can try to use
them to get in touch with feelings and beliefs you associate with this period. See
what thoughts and feelings come up when you try an inner child meditation. You
can also try journalling with your non-writing hand. This is a practice that can
remind us what it is like to be a child again, and some people find it helpful for
accessing feelings from this time.
Can you think of any other ways you could uncover emotions or memories from the
past?
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Chapter 6: How to Stick to a Daily Practice As you get further into the sentence completion program, the “newness” of the
course might start to wear off, other commitments will rear up, and you might find it
difficult to maintain your practice everyday.
Committing to a daily practice for four weeks is no mean feat, and whether you get
to day two or day 28, you can feel proud of what you’ve done.
When you receive daily prompts (and the suggestion that you should be practicing
every day), missing a day can lead to self-recrimination and internal criticism,
which creates a vicious cycle. If we criticize ourselves for skipping a day,
forgetting to do the sentences or doing them later than usual, remnants of those
feelings are more likely to come up when we sit down to do the practice the next
day.
‘Remember that time when you didn’t get them done on time/properly/at all?’ the
voice says, leaving us feeling totally demotivated to do that day’s sentences.
Eventually, we feel down on the whole program.
So if you miss a day, it’s not the end of the world. You might criticize yourself, you
might not. Whatever happens is OK: the best gift you can give yourself is to be
conscious of what your feelings and thoughts are, and what effect those feelings
and thoughts are having on your well-being and your practice. You can also try to
introduce some motivators into your practice to quell any doubtful or critical voices
that might arise.
Offer yourself a reward
Acknowledge that you’ve done something beneficial for your well-being, and show
yourself that taking this time out for yourself each day is meaningful. Your reward
could be anything from a cup of your favorite tea to an episode of your favorite TV
show. Page 13
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Whatever the reward is, it’s important to choose something that won’t leave you
feeling uncomfortable later. For example, if you’re worried about your weight or
health, try to avoid anything involving calories or sugar; if you’re concerned about
finances, do something inexpensive. Otherwise, the reward will end up being
associated with guilt or dread, rather than a pleasurable experience. Try making a list of acceptable rewards and choosing from it every time you feel
you need a little motivation to keep going.
Leave yourself nice messages
This is a fun thing to do whether you need motivation to complete your sentences
or not! Try leaving nice slogans or messages for yourself wherever you feel you
might need to be reminded of how important and valuable you are, and what a
great thing it is you’re doing for yourself. This might be on your laptop screensaver,
on a post-it attached to your desk, inside your wardrobe or in the fridge. Wherever
you feel you might go to avoid doing that day’s sentences, or wherever you might
be when you’re feeling low, leave yourself a little pick-me-up that says “Go on, I
know you can do it!”
Read This
The fact that you care about yourself enough to sign up for this course means I
know you will do this in the way that is right for you. Trust that I’m cheering you on
and I think you’re incredibly brave for embarking upon this journey. Page 14
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Chapter 7: Complementary Practices Meditation and Journalling
During your four weeks of sentence completion, you might find extra practices
helpful for unlocking your thoughts, feelings, and deepening your awareness. The
practices outlined below aren’t necessary for your sentence completion practice,
but they are valuable personal development tools that you can use during the
course, and beyond.
We spend so much time thinking about the past and the future - what happened
yesterday or last week, what we need to get done later today - that we can find it
very hard to stay in the moment. Over the course of our busy lives, our minds are
filled with clutter that can prevent us opening up and exploring thoughts and
feelings that might arise as a result of the prompts.
These practices are designed to help us clear that clutter, make way for new
ideas, and to help us focus on ourselves and our feelings in the moment.
Meditation
Meditation trains our minds to focus on the here and now. Two types of meditation
could aid your sentence completions. The first is guided meditation. This can be
helpful for exploring a certain topic, event, or feeling that comes up. With a guided meditation, you use a live or pre-recorded soundtrack. These
meditations focus on certain concepts, such as acceptance, healing or
experiencing emotions. You might find it helpful to look for guided meditations
around the themes that come up each week in the sentences, or choose those you
feel would help you most right now.
The other type of meditation is a self-directed meditation. This can be as simple as
sitting and focusing on your breath for five or ten minutes each day. For more tips
on meditation, the folks at Meditation Oasis have created some helpful
guidelines to give you a starting point for your own meditation practice. I also
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created a guided meditation on Creating a Safe, Internal Space, which is available
for free on Becoming Who You Are.
Journalling
Journalling is another practice that can help clear your mind before your daily
sentence completion. It’s also useful for further exploring thoughts and feelings
that come up during the 4 Weeks of Self-Knowledge course.
Writing stream-of-consciousness for a certain amount of time, or for a certain word
count, before you begin your sentence completion each day frees up your mind.
When we write stream-of-consciousness, we write down whatever comes into our
heads. It doesn’t have to be beautifully composed: this type of journalling is like
the sentence completion exercises in that it is about recording whatever comes to
mind first. From the second we wake up to the second we fall asleep (and in between) we are
thinking, thinking, thinking. During the day, we accumulate things to think about.
Journalling helps us get those thoughts out of our heads and onto paper, leaving
space in our minds for other thoughts to enter. During these four weeks and beyond, journalling can also help you explore
thoughts and feelings that arise from your sentences. For example, if you feel
uncomfortable admitting something to yourself, or you experience a particular
aspect of the course as challenging or enjoyable, journalling can help you think
about why this might be, what the beliefs are behind this and what you need in
order to be able to feel acceptance for what you’ve brought to your sentence
practice.
I’m an avid journaler and have experienced amazing shifts as a result of spending
time with pen and paper. If you’d like to find out more, I’ve created a book called
The Ultimate Guide to Journaling, which provides a range of information,
suggestions and ideas to enhance and support your journalling practice.
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Chapter 8: How to Rock the Self-Praise
Some sentence sets in Four Weeks of Self-Knowledge are about the good stuff:
things you feel proud of, nurturing figures, and what positive beliefs you have, and
can create for yourself. Even though all of us have many reasons to big ourselves up, self-praise can be
difficult, even if we’re talking about objective achievements. It feels grandiose,
unnatural and wrong to think of and acknowledge what we’re proud of about
ourselves. This is especially relevant for people who experience self-criticism or attack. As
soon as we start identifying things about ourselves we like, that voice kicks in,
arguing with us, trying to prove us wrong, and reminding us of all the things that
aren’t great.
If you find yourself struggling with the self-praise, you’re not alone. But learning to self-praise is crucial. Part of self-awareness and self-acceptance is
being able to cultivate awareness and acceptance of all parts of yourself. When
we think about self-acceptance, we usually think about it in the context of striving
to accept ‘negative’ aspects of ourselves that we view as bad or wrong. We also need to be mindful that it’s important - and it can be difficult - to accept
and acknowledge all the ways we are a total gem, in addition to the things we
don’t feel so proud of.
Spending time thinking about what we like about ourselves is just as important as
thinking about what we’d like to change. If you find yourself struggling to think of
things you’re proud of, or a positive belief you have about yourself, start with the
objective facts. This exercise focuses on who you are, but if an objective
achievement like graduating from high school keeps coming up, go with that. Like all answers, think about why that particular thing is important to you. What
values do you associate with it? What do you feel it says about you as a person?
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Can you find any other values that lie beneath it? For example, if you are proud of
graduating high school, perhaps that says to you that you are a hard-worker, or
that you have overcome adversity.
If you can identify that self-praise is hard and really want to throw yourself out of
your comfort zone, ask other people what they think you should be proud of, what
your positive attributes are, what they like about you, and why they’re friends with
you. Asking other people for feedback can be tough, but if you’re finding it difficult
to identify positive traits, their answers could provide you with a new perspective.
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Chapter 9: Encouragement for Hard
Times
A key part of developing our self-awareness is dealing with some of the things we
might not be proud of, and exploring whether we can accept them. If you haven’t consciously explored these things before, doing so can provoke
challenging, uncomfortable feelings. When asked to think about things that feel
uncomfortable, this might bring up memories that you haven’t thought about for a
long time - perhaps memories you’d rather not think about. Remembering incidents you’d rather forget, especially those you have some
responsibility for, is difficult. In response, it could be tempting to skip that day’s
sentences, postpone them until you feel better, skip this part of the week, or quit
the course altogether.
It’s totally your decision and whatever you choose to do will be the right thing for
you to do at this time. I’m not going to say you should deal with the feelings, power through, that it’s the
right thing to do, or any obligation-orientated talk like that. It’s your decision. I hope
you can work through any uncomfortable emotions, but there are no “should”s or
“have to”s.
If you are struggling with any week’s sentences (and even if you’re not), know that
you are brave to do this. It can be difficult, please don’t let anyone tell you
otherwise. Please don’t let you tell yourself otherwise. Please know I’m rooting for you. I hope you can use your support group, I hope
you can talk to a trusted friend or family member about your experience. I hope
you know that you totally deserve lots of love and care for exploring this stuff.
Some of the sentences might be difficult: it can be difficult to be human. I hope at
the end you will know yourself a little better and feel more compassion for yourself
and your experiences.
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Chapter 10: How to Deal with the
Snoozies
Sentence completion has a lot going for it; you don’t have to think about it, you can
be done in 10 minutes, and you learn a whole bunch of stuff about yourself that
you might not have known before.
As we discussed in Chapter 6, however, daily practices can have their challenges
too, and when that ‘newness’ starts to wear off, you might find a creeping sense of
‘blah’ rocking up and taking residence in your sentences.
If you’ve started your sentences, you might not have experienced this yet, in which
case don’t worry too much about this chapter. If you’ve found your mind
wandering, experienced a sense of resistance when it’s time to do your daily
practice, and noticed that you try and put the sentences off for as long as
possible, this one’s for you.
If you’ve experienced boredom, you might have felt that you’re not supposed to
feel this way, that it’s a sign that the course isn’t working for you, or that you’re
doing it wrong. You might take it as an indicator that you should stop, (but I hope
you don’t).
Sometimes boredom is just boredom. Other times, it can be a cover feeling for
something else.
During this sentence completion course, boredom might be a disguised lack of
acceptance towards your answers. It could be the result of expectations that
havenʼt been realized, for example the idea that you should be going ‘deeper’ or
noticing significant change as a result of the course. It might also be due to
discomfort with some of the feelings and thoughts that your answers have
provoked. In Chapter 7, we talked about journalling and meditation as practices that
complement this sentence completion course. You can also use these practices to
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explore feelings of boredom or a lack of motivation. Questions to ask yourself
might include:
* Can I feel any other emotions in addition to, or underneath, the boredom?
* If I try and visualize my boredom, how does it appear? Think about the color,
shape and texture.
* What is the thought behind the boredom? Is there an underlying belief or
expectation that could be affecting the way I feel?
* Could this feeling belong to anyone else? How would important childhood figures
have reacted to me doing something like this? Sometimes boredom is just boredom. Taking time to examine this feeling might be
a deviation from what you expected this course to be. Exploring the boredom, however, is part of the process, and you might be
surprised by what you find underneath.
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Chapter 11: The C-Word
I’m referring to “change”, of course.
As you progress through the four weeks, you might notice a change in and
deepening of your self-awareness. You might, however, notice nothing.
Some of your answers might have surprised you; your weekly review might have
revealed patterns you didn’t notice before. But you don’t feel any different.
Well, maybe a bit disappointed, especially if you were expecting a series of
revelations, or an epiphany that would change your perspective of the world. It’s
understandable you had that hope (after all, that would be pretty nice), and it’s OK
that it hasn’t come to fruition.
We’ve all been holding on to our beliefs, stories, doubts, pain and patterns for
years. Generally - but not always - the longer you hold onto those beliefs and
patterns, the harder it is, and therefore the longer it takes, to let go of them.
When we expect big changes, these expectations also cloud our perception of
shifts - albeit small ones - that might be taking place.
Personal development is like training for a marathon. We could go running every
other day for several weeks before we notice any tangible difference in our fitness.
If we’re starting out as a couch potato and 24 miles is our goal, it’s going to be a
long time before we can complete that comfortably. Having that huge end-goal
means that little changes along the way could get lost. We might start thinking: “So
what if our ten-minute run is more comfortable today than it was at the beginning of
the week? It’s still only ten minutes”.
But we have to get through the ten minute run over and over again before we can
build up enough stamina to run at a level with which we’re happy. In between, we
might experience a lot of set-backs: we’ll have good days, bad days, possibly
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injuries, and days when the last thing we feel like doing is getting up off the couch
and putting on those running shoes.
Personal development is a similar process. This program is a drop in the selfgrowth pond: it’s not about changing the way you feel, but about cultivating
awareness. We start with this because we can only change what we are aware of.
At the end of the course, I’ll give you a few suggestions around what you can do to
continue this wonderful momentum you’ve gained over these four weeks and
deepen your self-exploration further.
Change might not happen quickly and, when it does, you might not even notice it
until after the fact. And once that change is in place, we have to work to maintain
it, just like we have to jog on to maintain our fitness levels.
So keep going with no pressure, and celebrate when you notice shifts and
changes, however small.
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4 Weeks of Self-Knowledge: The Guide to Sentence Completion
Chapter 12: On Self-Acceptance and
Compassion
Some of the sentence stems in Four Weeks of Self-Knowledge focus on feeling
compassion and acceptance for yourself. In this section, we’re going to talk about
what self-acceptance is, what it isn’t and why it’s such an important part of
personal development.
Self-acceptance is about seeing all parts of ourselves, viewing ourselves as we
really are, and accepting that we are who we are right now in this moment. We
might want to work on or change certain things in the future, but as you read this
passage right now, what you see is what you get.
Self-acceptance is about being aware of what we like about ourselves, what we
don’t feel so comfortable with, and being curious about why we like certain things
while disliking others. It’s about understanding why we have these likes and
dislikes, and feeling empathy for ourselves. It’s also about looking into the past and
thinking about why we might have developed those behaviors or beliefs we like or
don’t like, and developing empathy for that too. This is why we do the archaeology and excavation, so we can see where these
things have come from and feel compassion for parts of ourselves that have
developed ways of surviving in the world. The person-centered theory of development talks about something called
“actualization”. This term describes humans’ tendency to fulfill their potential, to
keep growing and developing, and to be the best they can be in their environment.
If our environments aren’t conducive to healthy growth, we find ways to survive
them, to grow within the conditions and restrictions of that environment. For
example, we introject our parents’ beliefs about ourselves, we might copy their
behaviors, or we might take on their world views, because when we are children
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4 Weeks of Self-Knowledge: The Guide to Sentence Completion
We internalize explicit and implicit messages from, and the ‘voices’ of, authority
figures. These translate into certain behaviors, or become self-criticism and limiting
self-talk when we’re older. Self-acceptance and compassion is about recognizing
that, although these behaviors and beliefs might not be helpful now, at one point
we might have felt like we needed them to survive.
Self-acceptance is not a license to do whatever we please. It’s about striving to act
within the scope of our values, and having curiosity around and empathy for
ourselves when we don’t. It’s not about letting ourselves off the hook - we are still
accountable to ourselves and others for our actions - but it’s about understanding.
How can you be understanding towards yourself during this course?
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4 Weeks of Self-Knowledge: The Guide to Sentence Completion
Chapter 13: Onwards and Beyond
The last week’s sentences provide you with a chance to think about what you can
do to continue the wonderful process you have started during these four weeks.
You’ve made a huge commitment to yourself, and that started when you signed up
to the course. Whatever your conscious reasons for signing up, you sent a
valuable message to yourself that your personal development is worth committing
to.
In week 4, you’ve shown yourself that you are worthy of that commitment by
sticking to it: doing the daily practice, doing the work, digging deep even when the
feelings are hard to sit with, and deepening what you know and understand about
yourself.
You’ve spent four weeks dedicating a little time every day or most days to your
awareness and growth: what an amazing thing to do! Now you have set the
foundations for continuing this process in your own way.
I’d love to hear how you have experienced this course and what your journey has
been. What worked, and what didn’t work for you? What did you notice most about
your experiences during the course? What did you least expect?
Let me know and get a virtual high-five for completing week four: you deserve it.
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4 Weeks of Self-Knowledge: The Guide to Sentence Completion
What Next?
After your final review at the end of the fourth week, I’ll send you an email
containing suggestions for continuing with your journey, developing selfawareness and deepening your connection with yourself.
In the meantime, I’d love to get to know you better. Connect with me through
Facebook or Twitter, email me with any questions, suggestions or feedback, or
leave a comment over at Becoming Who You Are, where you can find more tools
and resources for authentic living. I have several new exciting products in the
pipeline, including a book on journalling and a self-care course. I also offer
coaching packages, so check the offerings on the site, and continue your selfinvestment.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this ebook and that it will be a useful companion during your
sentence completion practice. Happy writing!
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