Book Three: Action Verbs
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–– Chapter 1: Writing as Wanted: Dead or Alive ––
By Bryan Thors Noonan
The first ray of light flickers from that corner of the imagination where inspiration glows. As you shine
this latest-greatest idea from mind to page, you feel giddy and free.
You finish writing the sentence, beaming and ready to read it again to bask in its clever wisdom. That’s
when disappointment settles in. A moment ago, you considered this first thought to be a spiraling of
kaleidoscope colors with a dash of “that’s deep, man” logic. Now the words are staring back at you, naked
and shivering on the page.
Giddy turns into gloom as you realize you exposed another literary vein that needs to be pricked with a
lethal injection. Lord have mercy, you unleashed another cliché.
Sorry to break this news to you, but chances are your first thought is and may always be a cliché. Don’t
take it personal. Your cousin’s first thought is probably a cliché too. In fact, your best friend’s first thought
is probably a cliché. Your girlfriend’s first thought is probably a cliché. Your teacher’s first thought is
probably a cliché.
Even your dog’s first thought is a cliché. Didn’t you see his eyes popping out of his skull last time you
took the top off the cookie jar? His mind was not analyzing the situation: “Oh my, look at the curvature
around that delicious-looking morsel! I cannot wait to feel it crunch inside my mouth!”
Unless doggo has the power to transform into a British lord sipping tea, his mind slobbers, “COOOOOKIE!
YUM! YUM! YUM!”
So I’m going to beat this dead horse one final time, hoping my point reaches you clear as crystal: your
first thought is more than likely cliché.
That’s okay for the time being. In the same way it’s okay to follow fashion clichés just to be safe; or why
it’s acceptable to turn into the cliché “sports fan” when the local team is in the playoffs.
If you can’t beat them, join them, right?
However, allowing verbal clichés to burst out of your mind and onto your written page eventually adds up
to this badge of shame: you’re proving to yourself and everyone around you that you are an incorrigible
bore.
That you don’t care. That you won't bother to try. That you aren’t engaged enough to nudge your mind to
fire a single synapse more than necessary to grumble out your latest version of “Whatever.”
It’s hard work, being an original. Stay cliché if you want a life of blah for yourself.
So what is a cliché, some of you are asking? Probably need to know that, assuming you are one who
believes knowledge is power. A cliché is a word or expression that has been used so many times, it makes
the reader or listener throw up a little in his or her mind. This acid reflux is actually a regurgitation of an
idea that has been written or spoken the same way thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, if not millions
of times. I purposefully wrote a handful in the opening of this chapter, and you’ll spot them when you
realize you’ve read or heard them once upon a time.
In essence, the cliché is the epitome of unoriginal writing. Writers are urged to avoid them like the plague,
if they hope to save the day.
Assuming you'll accept this mission, remember this: Clark Kent was the cliché, Superman the original.
Thankfully, there is a phone booth that will transform your writing from blasé bloke to stimulating
superhero: the action verb.
The action verb is the word that makes the vixen purr, the muscleman snarl, the politician blabber, and
poor grandma fuss.
The action verb is the word that determines how the reader captures your writing, dead or alive.
Write What You Know taught us how to draw on knowledge and personal experience to prove expertise.
That’s the hard part. As we step into Book Three: Action Verbs, it’s important to understand how the parts
of speech shine up those great pearls of wisdom and make your ideas sing in the reader’s mind. Those
pesky parts of speech have the power to transform your words into hipster priests skating the half pipe
while reciting the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody with their collars popped.
Since the action verb is the single most important element to great writing, this is the place we’ll start
practicing. That is, if you don’t want to sound like every other writer in the world (i.e. cliché).
Until you train your mind to realize its first thought is a cliché, it will always be so. Recognize that fact,
then study the chapters in this book to learn how to dig deeper each time you are thinking. Eventually, your
first thought will begin snapping awake from the dance party bumping in your mind, the place where great
thinkers groove ideas onto the page.
Along the way you'll discover this cliché truth: when action speaks louder than words, the verb is holding
the megaphone.
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Exercise 3.1.1: Grab your notebook and label a fresh page, “Book Three: Action Verbs” then a
subheading “Chapter One: Writing as Dead or Alive.” Underneath your headline, define what a cliché is,
along with a couple examples. Below that, explain why clichés are considered to be bad writing. Beneath
that, if you can, list a couple clichés you’ve used in the past, and then write them in a way that could only
come from you.
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Exercise 3.1.2: Try to identify each of the clichés I put in this chapter. You can list them, or just name them
in your head as you read. If you would like the answers, go to this link, where I have copy-pasted this
chapter and bolded the clichés.
WORD COUNT: 965 WORDS
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