Family System
In Islam
By
Dr.ZeenatKauther
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Islamon
onSexuality)
Sexuality,Reproduction
Islam
Reproduction
and
and
Family System
Family
System
PaperPresented
Presentedto the
Paper
the
InternationalConference
ConferenceofNGOs
International
of NGOs
Seoul,Korea
Seoul)
Korea
10-16October
October1999
10-16
1999
By
Dr. Zeenath
Zeenath Kausar
Kausar
World Assembly
ofMuslim youth"
Youth,
Assembly ofMrnlim
(wAtvfY)
(WAMY)
Riyadh,
Riyadh) Saudi
Saudi Arabia
Arabia
PREF
PREFACE
ACE
As the
the title
tide of
of the
the paper
paper suggest
sugests,
s, Dr. Zeenat
Zeenath
h Kausar
Kausarhas
has
attemgted
attemp
ted to presen
present
the Islamic
t the
Islamic perspec
perspective
tive on sexualit
se<uality,
y,
reproduction
reprod
uction and
and family
family system
system.
.
Family
Family values
values play
play an
an import
imporant
ant role
rore from the Islamic
Islamic
point of
of view.
view. Islam
Islam seeks
seeks to create
create durable
durable bases
bases for
relation
relationship
ship within
within the familr,
family, which is
is the buildin
buildingg block
of
a
society
society.
.
When
when
each
each
of these
of
gf
theseblocks
blocks is
is firmly
nrmlyilaced,
placed,
the " social
social structu
struch*e
re of
of the
the society
society rests
rests on aa strong
founda
foundation.
tion. Where
wfhere the
the cohesiv
cohesive
e bond gets
gets diluted
diluted,
, the
th;
society
societybegins
beginsto tumble
nrmble.
The Wester
westem
society present
n society
presents
s aa glaring
glaringexampleof
example of this
this
phenom
phenomenon.
enon. The growin
grovdng
g numbe
tt.t*b.r r of
or singlerittgt.-parent
parent
families in the wake
families
wake of
of rampant divorce
divorces
s has
has"created
created aa
""*p*t
sihration
situatio
n in which uninhib
uninhibited
ited sex
ro has
has culmin
culminated
ated in the
the
outbrea
outbreak
k of
ArDs and
of AIDs
and other sexually
sexuallytransm
transmitted
itted disease
diseases.
s.
An import
rmporant
ant factor for the
the breakd
breakdown
own of
of marriag
marriages
es in
the
the West
west is
is the
the fact
fact that marital
marial relation
relations
s in Wester
sTestem
n
societie
societies
s are
are govern
govemed
ed by materia
material
l conside
considerations,
rations, such
such as
as
wealth,
wealth' beauty
fame. These
These are
are epheme
ephemeral
ral values
values
_beauty or fame.
doome
doomed
d to self-ero
self-erosion
sion in the
the course
courseof
time. When
of time.
when that
that
happens,
happen
s, the
fragile relation
the fragile
relationship
ship gets
gets swerve
swerved
d and
and the
marriag
marriage
e ends
endsin divorce
divorce.
By contras
contrasg
t, marital
marital ties
ues in the
the Muslim society
society are
are on
firmer ground
Furner
ground.. Familie
Families
s seeking
seeking alliance
afriances
s also
also look for
qdth aa strong moral charact
partners
partner
s with
character,
er, among
among other
things.
thirp. Thus
Thus if
if the
the married
married life of
of aa couple
couple become
becomis
s aa bit
bumpy,, they
bumpy
they still
still pull on for th~
the sake
sakeof
oittt.ir
their childre
children
n to
whom they
owe az religiou
religious
s obligat
obtigation
ion to bring up
- th.y owe
properly.
properl
y.
wisdom from
Let me
me conclude
conclude with
with these
these words
words of
ofwisdom
from Cdiph
Caliph
I-et
his
divorcing
on divorcing his wife.
wife.
Omar. Once
Once aa man
man sought
sought his
his advice
advice on
Omar.
When Cdiph
Caliph Omar
Omar asked
asked him
him for
for the
the reason,
reason, the
the man
man
When
with her."
her." Whereupon,
Whereupon,
replied: "I'm
"I'm no
no more
more in love with
replied:
Omar retorted:
retorted: "Are families
families built
built upon love alone?
alone?
Caliph Omar
What about inter-family relationship
relationship and the shared
shared life
\X/hat
with their children?"
children?"
with
Dr. Maneh
Maneh FI.
H. Al-Johani
Al-Johani
Dr.
Secretary General
General
Secretary
of Muslim Youth CX/AlvfY)
(WAMY)
Assembly of
World Assembly
Ftiyadh,Saudi~bi~
Saudi Arabia
Riyadh,
ISLAM ON
ISLAM
ONSEXUALITY,
SEXUALITY,
REPRODUCTION
REPRODUCTION AND
AND FAMILY
FAMILY
SYSTEM
SYSTEM
Introduction:
Introduction:
Life an
anIntegrated
IntegratedWhole:
Whole:
1.1.Life
Islam, which
which implies
implies willing
willing and
Islam,
to
and complete
completesubmission
submission
Allah
to Allah
completeway
way of
life embracing
(tn"tl isis aa complete
of life
(swt)
embracingall
all aspects
aspectsof life
life
including sexual,
sexual,reproductive,
reproductive,
including
marital
maritaland
familial. It underlines
andfamilial.
underlines
two important
importantpoints:
points:
two
Firstly, Islam
Islam perceives
perceiveslife
life as
as an
Firstly,
an integrated
integratedwhole
wholeand
andfor
for this
this
reasonsexuality
sexualityand
and reproduction
reproductionare
reason
partsof the
areparts
thewhole
wholeIslamic
Islamic
systemof life,
life, not
not outside
outsideit.
it.
system
secondly, Islam
Islam which
which is
is aa Divinely
Divinely ordained
Secondly,
ordainedsystem
systemof life,
life,
possesses
injunctionsand
and regulations
regulationsin its
the Qur'an
and
possesses
injunctions
its texts
texts- the
eur'an and
the Prophetic
Prophetic traditions
traditions for
for the
of sexuality,
sexuality,
the
the regulation
regulation of
reproductionand
andall
all that
reproduction
that are
are related
related to these.
these.
Islamlc
Tawhid integrates
integrates all
all aspects
aspects of
of life
life.
Islamic philosophy
philosophy of Tawhid
Tawhid
of God,
God, unity
unity of
of the
the prophets,
prophets, unity
unity of
of life,
life,
Tawhid implies
implies unity
unity of
unity
of mankind,
mankind, unity
unity of
of the
the purpose
purpose of
of creation,
creation, unity
un,ity oi
of
unity of
knowledge,
knowledge, etc.
etc. The
The fundamental
fundamental beliefs
beliefs -i)
no god
god but Allah (swt)
(swt) and
and the
the prophet
Prophet Mohammad
Mohammad
i) That
That there
there is no
(pbuh)
is the
the last
last messenger
messenger of
ofAllah
Allah (surt)
(swt) for
for the
the whole
whole mankind;
mankind;
(pbuh) is
ii)
ii) That
That man's
man's life
life in
in this
this rvorrd
world is
is temporary
temporary and
and he/she
he/she has
has to
to
follow
of rife
life (Isllm)
(Islam) in
in all
all aspects
aspects to
to be
be
follow Allah's
Allah's ordained
ordained way
way of
successful
and~
successful here
here and
and in
in Hereafter
Hereafter and;
iii)
iii) That
That with
with Allah
Allah rests
rests all
all the
the final
final judgements
judgements of
ofrewards
rewards and
and
punishments
all based
based on
on these
these
punishments in
in the
the akhirah
akhirah (life,
(life, hereaftei;
hereafter) are
are all
unity,
Unity, Tawhid.
Tawhid. Hence,
Hence, questions
questions on'sexuality'
on 'sexuality' and'reproduction,
and 'reproduction'
are
are also
also anchored
anchored on
on the
the Tawhidic
Tawhidic paradigm.
paradigm.
II.
II.
Vicegerency -- PurPose
Purpose of
ofLife:
Life:
VicegerencY
The very
very raison
raison d'etre
d'etre of
ofman's
man's creation
creation according
accordingto
tothe
the Qur'an
Qur'an
The
The
(swt).
Allah
is
the
perfonnance
of
the
vicegerency
of
Allah
(swt).
The Qur'an
Qur1an
of
is the peribrmance of the vicegerency
says:
says:
Behold Thy
Thy Lord
Lord said
said to
to the
the angels:
angels:
Behold
will create
create aa vicegerent
vicegerent on
on earth.
earth.
II will
Hence, any
any thought
thought and
and activity
activity of
of man
man in
in Islam,
Islam, be
be that
that sexual
sexual or
or
Hence,
purpose
this
to
reproductive, rhould
should be
be ultimately
ultimately related
related to this purpose of
of life
life
reproductiue,
vicegerency of
of Allah (swt)
(swt).
vicegerency
Sexuality
and ReProduction:
Reproduction:
Sexualifyand
With this
worldview, it is easier
easier now
of Islamicworldview,
backgroundofIslamic
this brief background
reproduction.
to
look
into
the
Islamic
texts
on
sexuality
and
reproduction.
and
to look into the Islamictextson sexuality
function
man'sanimalistic
animalisticfunction
as man's
Sexuality
trivializedas
is not
not trivialized
Islam is
in Islam
Sexuality in
perceived
is
Sexuality
fancy.
and
by
his
own
whim
and
fancy.
Sexuality
is
perceived
to
be
tackled
to be tackled by his own whim
and
regulatedand
be regulated
life to
to be
man's life
as
parts of man's
essentialparts
the essential
of the
as one
one of
guidance.
disciplined
properguidance.
theproper
throughthe
disciplinedthrough
relationship
sexualrelationship
into sexual
enterinto
A
canenter
Islamcan
in Islam
woman in
and aa woman
A man
man and
'sign'of Allah (swt)
asaa 'sign'
reckonedas
of Allah (swt)
only
which isis reckoned
marriage,which
after marriage,
only after
says:
and
prophets',
TheQur1an
theprophets
', The
waysof
of the
andthe
theways
Qur'ansays:
youfrom
from
for you
spouses
createdspouses
He created
And
for
thatHe
thisthat
His Signs
Signsisisthis
amongHis
And among
them.
with them.
yourselves,
that
intranquility
tranquilitywith
dwellin
yemay
maydwell
thatye
yourselves,
We
andWe
(OMohammad)
you(0
Mohammad)and
We
before
beforeyou
messengers
sentmessengers
indeedsent
We indeed
assigned
them
wives
and
children.
themwivesandchildren.
assigned
relationship
maritalrelationship
themarital
basisof
ofthe
verybasis
ItIt implies
Islam,the
thevery
that inin Islam,
impliesthat
into
can enter
enterinto
they can
which they
throughwhich
between
wife through
andwife
husbandand
betweenhusband
'love'. Furthermore,
(swt)
implants
Allah
Furthermore,
is
'love'.
Allah
(swt)
implants
sexual
relationship
is
relationship
sexual
2
'love'ininhusband
this
this'love'
and
husband
andwife
wifetowards
towardseach
eachother
otherso
thatthey
sothat
theymay
may
live
live inin peace
peaceand
. Such
andharmony
harmony.
such an
Islamic attitude
an Islamic
attitudetowards
towards
sexualit
y goes
sexuality
goes entirely
entirely against
againstthe
the mere
mere lusty
lusty cravings
cravings in
in
man/wo
man and
man/woman
and its
itssatisfact
ion through
satisfaction
throughlegitima
legitimate
te or
orillegitim
illegitimate
ate
ways.
ways. In
InIslam,
Islam,itit isisthe
'love' and
the'love'
andthe
thestrong
strongcovenan
covenant
(nikah)that
t (nikah)
that
'force'or
unite
unite man
man and
andwoman
womannot
not 'force'
or tempora
temporary
ry arrangem
arrangements
ents
outside
outsidemarriag
e or
marriage
tion. For
orcohabita
cohabitation.
Forthis
reason,all
thisreason,
alltypes
typei of
preof premarital
marital and
andextra
extramarital
maritalrelations
relationships,
hips, fornicati
fornication,
on, illicit
illitit carnality
"u*ality
are
are complet
completely
ely condem
condemned
ned isisIslam
Islamand
andman
manis
is ordained
ordainednot
nor
go
ro go
to
nearerto
nearer
to adultery
adultery
TheQur'an
. The
says:
Qur'ansays:
Nor come
comenigh
nighto
Nor
to adultery
adultery
Foritit isisaashamefu
shameful
(deed)
For
l (deed)
And an
anevil,
evil,opening
And
openingthe
theroad
road
(to other
otherevils).
evils).
(to
Islam thus
thus makes
Islam
makes aa distincti
distinction
on between
between sexuality
sexuality that
that is
is
constrained
constrai
and disciplin
ned and
disciprined
ed through
through marital
maritar relations
relationship
hip and
and
sexuality,
which transgre
sexuality
, which
transgresses
sses morality
morarity and
and spiritual
spirituality
ity and
turns
andturns
animalism.
Islam does
animalis
m. Islam
does not
not overlook
overlookthe
the sexual
sexuardrive
drive in man
man but
but
institutionalize
institutio
nalize it through
through marriag
marriage
e ro
to protect
protect man
man from
prophetMoham
immorality.
TheProphet
immoral
ity. The
Mohammad
mad (pbuh)
(pbuh) said:
said:
young men!
o young
men! Those
o
Thoseamong
among you
you who
who can
can support
support a wife should
-ftor
should
marry
for it restrains
marry for
restrains *y*r
eyes from casting
casting t.uir
(evil grunces)
glances) and
and
preserves
preserves one
one from
from immorality.
immorality.
Islam
Islam is
is quite
quite sensitive
sensitive in a[
all issues
issues pertaining
pertaining to
to marriage
marriage and
and
sexuality.
sexuality. As
As sexuarity
sexuality outside
outside maniage
marriage is iilegTtim"i.,
illegitimate, *u.riug*
marriage
without
without the
the proper
proper consent
consent is
is declared
declared invar-id.
invalid. The
The rrophet
Prophet
Mohammad
Mohammad (pbuh)
(pbuh) said:
said:
'A
'A widow
widow shail
shall not
not be
be married
married until
until she
she be
be consulted,
consulted, nor
nor shail
shall aa
virgin
virgin be'
be, married
married until
until her
her consent
consent be
be asked;
asked; and
and that
that aa woman
woman
rip^e
ripe in
in years
years shail
shall have
have her
her consenf
consent asked
asked i"in *--"g"
marriage and
and ififshe
she
refuses,
refuses, she
she shall
shall not
not be
be married
married by
by force.,
force.'
Therefore, marriage
marriage in Islam,
Islam, unlike
unlike radical
radical feminism
feminism is neither
neither an
an
Therefore,
her
upon
is
thrust
forced
upon
her as
as a
imprisonment
woman
that
forced
or
for
woman
is
thrust
that
imprisonment
punishment nor enslavement
enslavement that
that makes
makes her
her subservient
subservient to man.
man.
punishment
Marriage is a covenant
covenant of
of faith
faith and
and consent
consent and
and a bond
bond of
of love
love and
and
Marriage
concern.
concern.
Marital relationship
relationship in Islam
Islam is neither
neither patnarchal
patriarchal and
and political
political nor
Marital
economic
and sexual
sexual for its own sake
sake as
as against
against the
the common
common
economic and
of gender
gender feminists,
feminists, but moral
moral and
and spiritual'
spiritual. In fact,
fact,
perception of
perception
Islam since
since husband
husband
husband
each other
other in Islam
complementeach
and wife complement
husbandand
provides
security to his
his wife and
and his
his children
children
sexualsecurity
and sexual
economicand
provideseconomic
and
her chastity
chastity and
and her
her husband's
husband's possessions
possessions as
as
guardsher
his wife guards
and his
her
The Qur'an
Qur'an says:
says:
obligation The
moralobligation.
her moral
Men
protectors
Men are
arethe
the protectors
And
women,because
God
And maintainers
maintainersof
becauseGod
of women,
Has
(strength)
giventhe
more(strength)
Hasgiven
the ones
onesmore
Than
the other,
other, and
and because
because
Thanthe
They
They support
supportthem
them
From
means
From their
their means
Therefore
women
the righteous
righteouswomen
Thereforethe
guard
Are
andguard
Are devoutly
devoutlyobedient
obedientand
In
absence
(thehusband's)
absence
In (the
husband's)
guard.
What
themguard.
havethem
would have
WhatGod
Godwould
anddo
do
eachother
Islamcomplement
complementeach
otherand
Thus,
wife in Islam
Thus, husband
husbandand
and wife
They are
friends and
and
are friends
not
andsupremacy.
supremacy.They
for domination
dominationand
not compete
competefor
Both
Allah(swt).
co-partners
of Allah
(8wt). Both
in their
co-venture-vicegerency
co-partnersin
their co-venture-vicegerency
have
other and
and both
both have
enjoy
duties towards
towards each
each other
rights and
and duties
enjoy rights
(swt). This
is very
in the
This is
very clearly
clearly stated
the
obligations
Allah (swt).
stated in
to Allah
obligations to
proclaimsequality
in the
equality in
the very
very creation
creationqf
Qur'anic
verse which
which proclaims
of
Qur'anicverse
from aa single
pointingout
theircreation
creationfrom
singlesoul:
soul:
womaq pointing
man
manand
andwoman,
outtheir
your Lord,
your duty
Lord, Who
duty to your
Who created
created
mankind, be
consciousof your
oO mankind,
be conscious
like nature,
her mate,
mate,and
from
you from
nature,her
andfrom
from aa single
you
singlesoul,
soul,created
createdof like
women;and
mindful
createdand
manymen
menand
andbe
be mindful
the two
two created
spreadmany
andwomen~
the
andspread
4
of -your
of
your duty
duty to
to God
God by
by Whose
whosename
nameyou
youappeal
appear
to
to one
oneanother
another
andto
and
to (the
(theties
tiesot)
of) womb.
womb. Verily
VerilyGod
Godwatches
witch.jouer
over you.
you.
Even if
Even
if the
the sexual
sexualsatisfact
satisfaction
ion isis perfonn
performed
ed by
by man
manand
andwoman
woman
while being
while
being mindful
mindful of
of its
itsetiquette
etiqurtti as
ur ordained
ordainedin
in the
theQur'an
and
eur,anand
sunnah, itit is
Sunnah,
is reckone
reckoned
d as
as ibadah
tbadnh and
andsadaqah
sadaqah(charity)
(charity),
. The
The
ProphetMoham
Prophet
Mohammad
(pbuh)said:
mad (pbuh)
said.
Did Allah
Did
Allah not
not make
makefor
you that
for you
thatfrom
from which
which you
you can
givesadaqa?
cangive
sadaqdl
verily, every
Verily,
every time
time you
you say
saySubhana
suhhanaAllah,
Alrah, there
ihereis
sadaqua_and
is aJsadaqua-and
for every
everytime
for
time you
you say
sayAllahu
Allahu Akbar
Akbarthere
thereis
is aa sadaqa;
sa*qa;Every time
Every
time you
you say
say Laa
Laa ilaha
irahaill
iil Allah,
Ailah, there
thereis
is aaiadaqaand
sadaqa
for
t and for
you sayAlhamdu
every time
Alhamdulillah,
li/lah, there
thereis
is aa sadaqa;
sadaqa;
lurry time you say
Every act
Every
act of enjoinin
enjoining.
g what
what is
is right
right there
thereis
is sadaqa
sacraqaand
and in
in every
every
act of
forbidding
act
of forbiddi
ng evil
evil there
there is
is ai sadaqa.
sadaqa, and
and in
in your
sexual
sexual
fo.r,
relationsalso
relations
alsothere
thereis
is aa sadaqa.
sadaqa.
Thereupon
Thereup
the compan
on the
companions
ions asked:
asked:0o Messeng
Messenger
er of Allah!
Alrah!Is
Is there
there
rewardfor
for one
aa reward
oneof us
us when
whenhe
he satisfies
satisfieshis
his sexual
sexuardesire?
desire?
The
Prophet replied:
replied:Don't
Don't you
you see,
see,had
had he
satisfied ititwiththe
hesatisfied
with the
Thg.lpptet
forbidden
forbidde
would there
n would
there not
not have
haue 6een
been aa sin
upon him?
sin upon
him? The
The
companions
compan
said:"yes".
ions said:
"yes".
r$ Prophet (pbuh)
The
said: In the
the same
same way,
way, when
when he
he satisfies
satisfies it
froghet (pbuh) said:
with the
the lawful,
lawful, there
there is
is for him
him in that
that a reward.
reward.
Tlrus,
Thus, sexuality
sexuality is never
never perceived
perceived by Isram
Islam as
as a mere
mere carnar
carnal desire
desire
of
of man
man to be
be fulfilled
fulfilled in any
any animalistic
animalistic *uy.r
way as tr*
he ft"ur*r.
pleases. eut
But
man
man in Islam
Islam is ordained
ordained to folrow
follow certain.tiq*tt.
certain etiquette in his
his se*uar
sexual
relationship
relationship so
so that
that he
he shourd
should remember
remember Allatr
Allah trortl
(swt) euen
even uerore
before
this
this act
act and
and do not
not fall
fall a prey
prey to the
the satanic;;ill
Satanic trap. ihi,
This can
can be
be
easily
easily gleaned
gleaned tkough
through a careful
careful reading
reading of
of iew
few prophetic
Prophetic
traditions,
traditions, either
either practiced
practiced or spoken
spoken by him
him Jn
on these
these matters.
matters.
5
It is exhorted
exhorted that
that the
the husband
husband should
should place
place his
his hand
hand on the
the
of her
her wife at the
the time of
of consummating
consummating the
the marriage
marriage and
and
forelock of
forelock
pray for Allah's
Allah's blessings.
blessings. The
The Prophet
Prophet Mohammad
Mohammad (pbuh)
(pbuh) said:
said:
pray
of you
you marries
marries a woman
woman he
he should
should hold
hold her foreloch
forelock,
When any
any of
When
O
saying:0
mention Allah
Allah most
most high,
high, and
and pray
pray for His
His blessings
blessings saying:
mention
Allah, I ask
ask You for the
the good
good in her
her and
and the
the good
good with which You
Allah,
and
her; and
refuge in You from the
the evil in her
her and
have created
created her;
seekrefuge
and I seek
have
the evil with which
which You have
have created
created her.
her.
the
if
desirableif
Furthermore, according
traditions, it is desirable
other traditions,
someother
Furthermore,
according to some
show
the husband
husband presents
presents to his
his wife something
something to drink to show
the
ever
closely ever
kindness to her
her and
prayer together
together to remain
remain closely
kindness
andto offer prayer
(s.w.t) from the
the evil.
evil. It
after
good and
refugein Allah (s.w.t)
seekrefuge
the good
and seek
after for the
that it is
is commendable
commendableto
is also
traditionsthat
from several
severaltraditions
evidencedfrom
also evidenced
'wudhu' (ablution)
obligatoryto
make
(ablution) after
before sleep
sleepbut obligatory
sex before
make 'wudhu'
after sex
possible.
take
sleepwhenever
wheneverpossible.
after sleep
bath after
after sex
before or after
take bath
sexbefore
that sexuality
senrality in
It is
quite obvious
discussion that
is quite
the above
above discussion
obvious from the
perceived as
Islam
neither perceived
as an
an objective
of life to be
be totally
Islam is neither
objective of
moral and
immersed
no other
other moral
and spiritual
spiritual considerations
considerationsnor
immersedin it with no
meanfor its own
aa beastly
way and
beastlyact
act to be
throu,ghany
any way
and mean
be fulfilled throu,~
manand
from
sake.
Islamdisciplines
disciplinessexual
sexualdesire
desireof man
andalso
alsoexpects
expectsfrom
sake. Islam
(swt) even
Allah (swt)
rememberAllah
evenwhile
while joining his
his
him
him that
he should
should remember
that he
(sw) to protect
pray to Allah (swt)
protecthis
wife for sex
andeven
his child
evenpray
child from
sexand
granted aa child
is clear
evil,
evil, if
if he
he is granted
after the
the sex.
sex. It is
from the
the
child after
clear from
prayerand
following prayer
andthe
the Prophetic
Prophetictradition:
tradition:
the name
name of Allah,
Allah! Keep
Keepus
In the
Allah, 0O Allah!
us away
awayfrom the
the devil,
devil, and
and
keep the
the devil
devil away
from that
that which
grant us
keep
away from
which You may
may grant
us
(offspring).
(offspring).
The
TheProphet
ProphetMohammad
(pbuh)said:
Mohammad(pbuh)
said:
After that,
that, if Allah
Allah decrees
After
decreesthat
that they
haveaa child,
theywill have
child,the
the devil
devil
will never
neverbe
be able
ableto
harmthat
to harm
that child.
child.
6
impliesthat
alsoimplies
Islamnot
ItIt also
thatIslam
notonly
onlyenjoins
enjoinsman
manto
to remember
rememberAllah
Allah
(swt) before
beforehis
sexualrelationship
relationship
(swt)
but
hissexual
butalso
alsomakes
makeshim
himconscious
conscious
of his
his responsibility
responsibilitytowards
of
child
towardshis
prospective
hisprospective
protecthim
chirdto
to protect
him
fromthe
thecunning
cunningSatan.
Satan.
from
Family: Parents
ParentsObligations
ObligationsTowards
Family:
TowardsChildren
Children
sexuality, reproduction
reproduction and
Sexuality,
and children's
children's responsibility
responsibility are
are
interconnected
in Islam
Islam through
interconnected
in
throughan
institution,family.
aninstitution,
family. Family
Familyis
is
consideredas
as the
frrstschool
the first
considered
schoolof
of children
childrenwhere
wherethey
theyare
arenot
not only
only
nurtured but
but also
also taught
taught basic
nurtured
basic morals
morals and
and etiquette
etiquette so
sothat
that the
the
childrencan
can appreciate
appreciate
children
Islamic
Islamicethos
ethosand
andvalues.
values.A stable
stabrefamily
family
will give
give rise
rise to
to aa stable
stablesociety
will
societyand
andaa stable
stablecivilization.
civilization. All this
this
requiresthat
that both
parentsand
both parents
requires
childrenshould
andchildren
shouldbe
be mindful
mindful of their
their
obligationstowards
towards each
eachother
obligations
otheralong
alongwith
with their
their rights
rightsso
sothat
that they
they
may love
love and
and respect
respecteach
each other.
may
other. Islam
Islam enjoins
enjoinsits
its adherents
adherentsto
love children
children and
and to
to be
be mindful
mindful of their
love
towards
their responsibilities
responsibilities
towards
them
from the
thevery
verybeginning
beginningof their
them from
their inception
inceptionand
andeven
evenearlier
earlierto
it. The
TheQur'an
says:
it.
Qur'ansays:
And be
be mindful
mindfulof your
your duty
duty to God
And
whose name
name you
you appeal
appeal
God in whose
to one
oneanother
anotherand
andto the
the ties
ties of
the womb.
womb.
to
of the
Islam emphasizes
emphasizes
that
Thus,
that parents
parents
should realize
that the proper
proper
should
realizethat
Jhus, Islam
'from
development
development of
of the
the child
child begins
begins 'from the
the mother's
mother's womb itself.
itself
FI:l*
Hence the
the parents
parents should
should be concerned
concerned about
about their prospective
prospective
child
child from
from the
the very
very beginning.
beginning.
It
It has
has been
been scientifically
scientifically proved
proved that a pregnant
pregnant woman
woman should
should
abstain
abstain from
from alcoholic
alcoholic drinks
drinks and
and narcotics
narcotics and
and avoid
avoid tensions.
tensions. IfIf
she
she fails
fails to
to consider
consider alr
all these
these precautionary
precautionary measures,
measures, any
any
complication
complication in
in her
her own
own health
health andthat
and that of
ofthe
the child in
in the
the wom6
womb
can
"iito
can hardly
hardly be
be prevent:d
prevented. ftIt is
is also
also pointed
pointed out
out that
that
the relationship
relationship
the
between
the prospective
prospective father
father should
should
between the
the prospective
prospective moth*r
mother and the
not
advers*ty
not be
be conflict-ridden
conflict-ridden because
because itit"nd
adversely uiT*rt,
affects the
the mental
mental and
and
7
lly the
eventually
tive mother
and eventua
mother and
prospective
the prospec
l health
heatth of the
physical
physica
verse
quoted
verse
above
quoted
the
through
the
above
Islam
through
Islam
child.
child.
tive
prospective
prospec
of
mindful
be
of
their
parentsshould
shouldbe
that parents
clear that
makesit clear
cally makes
emphati
empiratically
n.
inceptio
very
the
inception'
from
the
children
their children
towardstheir
duties
dutlestowards
physical
the physical
of the
care of
take care
s not
not only to take
believers
ds its believer
commands
Islam comman
Islam
and
moral
nal,
educatio
moral
and
also their educational,
children but also
their children
of their
ing of
upbringing
upbring
says:
Qur'an
The
says:
ment. The Qur'an
development.
spiritual
spiritual develop
and your wives
es and
yourselves
protectyourselv
strive to protect
believe! Strive
you
who believe!
you who
fire.
the fire.
and
children from the
andchildren
o
o
from the fire is by
ng children
children frol
protecting
way of protecti
ly, the
best way
Obvious
the best
obviously,
lhe
the
than the
More than
proper training.
training' .More
n and
and proper
e educatio
education
adequate
providin
providinig adequat
n
education
educatio
best
best
require
require
children
, children
property,
materialproperty
thi material
wealth
and the
wealth and
Prophet
Prophet
The
The
r.
Hereafter.
Hereafte
the
in
the
and
ind
here
heie
success
real success
for their real
said:
(Pbuh)said:
mad (pbuh)
Moham
Mohammad
good
their good
best is their
the best
childrenthe
his children
give to his
cangive
father can
Of all
that aa father
all that
.
trainingtraining
and
n
and
educatio
education
facing
Ummah is facing
Muslim Ummah
where Muslim
age, where
orary age,
contemporary
In the
the contemp
tradition
tradition
ic
Prophetic
Prophet
above
above
the
the
es,
challeng
challenges,
ual
intellectual
intellect
es of
multitud
multitudes
fed with
mentally well fed
are mentally
childrenare
Unless children
focus. Unless
gleater focus.
needs
;."dr greater
ble to
susceptible
suscepti
easily
easily
become
they become
skills, they
and skills,
education and
proper"education
proper
w's
tomorrow's
tomorro
are
are
children
children
Today's
Today's
s.
lifestyles.
lifestyle
and
culture and
alien
alien culture
Islamic
of
Islamic
of
prospects
ts
prospec
future
future
the
the
of
on
foundation
foundati
strong
strong
The
The
future.
future.
foundation
nal foundation
educational
strongeducatio
on strong
dependson
ion depends
civilization
and civilizat
culture
culture and
acquainted
acquainted
well
be
to
be
them
them
for
ry
necessary
necessa
deems
. It deems
children.
the children
of the
ensive
comprehensive
compreh
the
the
as
as
Islam
Islam
as,
as,
well
well
as
as
es,
ideologies,
ideologi
t
dominant
dominan
the
of the
future
the future
modelsin the
role models
the role
be the
they should
shouldbe
sothat
thatthey
systemof life so
system
The
The
.
mankind'
mankind
s
vis-a-vi
vis-a-vis
ibility
responsibility
's respons
Ummah's
the Ummah
careof the
takecare
to take
to
their
their
(sovt)
for
(swt)
Allah
to
pray
pray
to
ts
its
adherents
adheren
its
teaches
Qur'an
Qu/an teaches
ns-.
aspirations-'
theseaspiratio
childrenwith these
children
8
My Lord
Lordmake
makeme
My
prayerand
mekeep
keepprayer
(also)let
and(also)
letmy
myoffspring
offspring(do
(doso)
so)
Our Lord
Lord accept
acceptmy
Our
my appeal!
appeal! Our
OurLord,
Lord,forgive
forgivemy
parentsand
myparents
and
me.
me.
our Lord!
Lordl Grant
Grant us
Our
and
usininour
ourspouses
spouses
andour
ouroffspring
offspringthe
thecomfort
comfort
ofour
oureyes
eyesand
andmake
makeus
of
usaamodel
modelfor
forthe
theneedful.
needful.
alsoimplies
impliesthat
that Islam
Islam completely
ItIt also
completelyrejects
rejectsthe
perceptionof
the perception
of
those who
who look
look to
to women
women and
those
and children
children as
as burden
burdenor
or as
as an
an
oppressed
class. In
In fact,
fact,Islam
oppressed
class.
Islaminspires
inspiresmen
mento
to look
look at
attheir
theirwives
wives
and children
childrenas
asthe
thecomforters
and
comfortersof
of their
theireyes,
eyes,as
astheir
theirsource
sourceofjoy,
ofjoy,
peaceand
and solace
solaceand
and not
notaa suppressed
peace
and
class
suppressed
andoppressed
oppressed
classto
to be
be
dominatedand
andover-powered.
over-powered.Man's
dominated
Man'sdomination
dominationand
andsuppression
suppression
of woman
woman and
and children
childrengo
go against
of
againstthe
thevery
veryspirit
spiritof Islam,
Islam,which
which
'commandis only for
assertsthat
that 'command
is only for Allah',
asserts
Allah',not
not for
for man.
man. The
Thetime
time
'thereis
when aa child
child is
is born,
born,the
theIslamic
Islamicclarion
when
clarioncall
calrthat
that 'there
god
is no
no god
but Allah'
Allah' is
is conveyed
conveyedinto
into his
hisears,
but
ears,which
which implies
impliesthat
that he
he should
should
submit to
to none
nonesave
saveAllah.
Allah. Besides,
Besides,it is
submit
is also
arsoevident
evidentfrom
from one
oneof
prophet's (pbuh)
the traditions
traditions that
that whenever
wheneveraa child
the
child in the
the Prophet's
(pbuh)
prophet (pbuh)
householdbegins
beginsto speak,
speak,the
household
thought him
him the
the
the Prophet
(pbuh)thought
second verse
verse of Surah
surah al-Furqan
al-Furqanwhich
second
gives the
the message
message of
of
which gives
Allah's Sovereignty
Sovereignty and
and the
Allah's
the Unity
Unity of
of God
God (Tawhid).
(Tawhid). The
The
translation
its verse
verse is as
as follows:
follows:
translatioJ:l of its
He
He to Whom
Whom belongs
belongs
The
The dominion
dominion of
of the
the heavens
heavens
And
no son
son
And the
the earthearth- no
Has
Has He begotten,
begotten, nor Has
Has He
A
dominion
A partner
partner in His dominion
It
It is
is He
He Who created
created
All
All things,
things, and
and ordered
ordered them
them
In
In due
due proportions.
proportions.
so
So from
from the
the very
very beginning,
beginning, Islam
Islam emphasizes
emphasizes that
that children
children should
should
be
be ingrained
ingrained with
with the
the Tawhidic
Tawhidic message
message and
and that
that they
they should
should
willingly
willingly submit
submit to
to none
none but
but Ailah.
Allah. ItIt dols
does not
not however
however mean
mean that
that
9
they
not. expected
parentsrather
they are
are not
expected to
to obey
obey their
ratherIslam
Islam enjoins
enjoins
their parents
children
goodto
parentswhich
childrento
to be
be good
later.
to their
their parents
which shall
shall be
be discussed
discussedlater.
Islam
parents,mother
Islam also
also encourages
encouragesthat
that both
both parents,
mother and
father should
and father
should
express
expresstheir
their utmost
utmost love
love to
give them
to their
their children,
children, give
play
them time,
time, play
with
with them
them and
and cheer
cheer them
them up
up through
through many
many ways of
interaction
of interaction
with
with them.
them. It
It is
is reported
reported that
(may Allah be
that Hadrat
Hadrat Amir
Amir (may
pleased
be pleased
with
with him)
him) who
who held
held aa high
position in
high position
government during the
in the
the government
the
reign of
Hadrat Umar
(may Allah be
reign
of Hadrat
Umar (may
pleased with him) once
be pleased
once
visited the
the house
houseof
(may Allah be
visited
of Hadrat
Hadrat Umar
Umar (may
pleasedwith him)
be pleased
was surprised
and was
surprised to
and
to see
seethat
that few children had
had mounted
mounted the chest
chest
of Caliph
Caliph and
and were
were engaged
of
engagedin playing. Seeing
Seeing the astonishment
astonishment
Amir (may
(may Allah be
pleased with him) the Caliph enquired
of
of Amir
be pleased
enquired
his treatment
about his
about
treatment to his
his children?
children? Upon this,
this, he
he replied:
replied: "Amir
"Amir
ul-Mu'minin, as
ul-Mu'minin,
as soon
soon as
as I enter
enter my house
house the people
people of
of my
household are
are struck with terror and
household
and stand
stand dumb with
with fear.
fear. On
hearing this,
this, the Caliph said:
hearing
with
said: "Amir
"Amir (may Allah
Allah be pleased
pleased with
are a follower
follower of
you) you are
of the
the Holy
Holy Prophet (peace
(peace and
and blessings
blessings
be upon him) and
and yet are
are ignorant of
be
of the important injunction that
Muslim should
should behave
a Muslim
members with
with
behave towards his family
familv members
extreme love and
and deep
deep tenderness.
extreme
tenderness."
It explicitly
explicitly reveals
reveals that Islam is completely against
It
against the despotic
and tyrannical attitude of
of father and
and male members
members of
of the family
family
and
over wives and
and children. Islam expects
expects from man a gentlemanly
behavior not harsh
harsh approach
approach towards his family.
family. The prophet
Prophet
said:
(pbuh) said:
The
The best
best of
of you is he who
who is the best to his family,
family, and II am the
the
best
best to my family.
The
The relationship
relationship between man and woman
woman in
in Islam
Islam is not
not therefore
therefore
the
of master and servant but
but that
that of
of garments
garments to
to each
the relationship
relationship of
other
other and
and also
also protecting
protecting friends
friends of
of one another. The
The eur'an
Qur'an says:
says:
They
They are
are garments
garments for
for you
you and you
you are garments
garments for
for them.
them.
l0
10
Thus the
Thus
very basis
family in
in Islam
Islamare
faith, love,
love, concern
concernand
the very
arefaith,
basisof family
and
groundfor
care
care for each
eachother
that it turns
turns out
be aa civilizing ground
other so
so that
out to be
peaceand
children.
children. Husband
Husbandand
love with each
and wife who
who live in peace
and love
each
other can
other
can concentrate
concentratewell over
over their
their children
children and
andcan
can bring
bring them
them
up with moral
moral excellence,
up
excellence,best
besteducation
educationand
and spiritual
spiritual orientation.
orientation.
potentialities
Such children
children would
would not
not only
Such
only contribute
contributetheir
their potentialities
towards the
the construction
constructionof society
remainas
towards
societyin future,
future, but
but will remain
as aa
parentseven
blessinglur
;br their
blessing
parents.
their parents
even after
after the
the death
death of their
their parents.
Parentsof such
suchchildren
childrenwill continue
Parents
continueto enjoy
enjoythe
the rewards
rewardsof their
their
best education
educationand
best
andtraining,
training,which
which they
they imparted
impartedto their
their children.
children.
(pbuh)said-.
TheProphet
Prophet(pbuh)
The
said-.
The actions
actionsof
of man
man cease
ceasewith his
The
his death.
thereare
death. But there
arethree
threedeeds
deeds
whose reward
rewardand
whose
and blessing
blessingcontinue
continueto reach
reachhim even
evenafter
after death.
death.
One that
that he
he should
(recurring charity);
jariah (recurring
One
should make
make aa sadaqa
sadaqajariah
charity);
Secondly,he
he should
leave behind
Secondly,
should leave
behind aa legacy
legacy of knowledge
knowledgefrom
from
people may
which people
may continue
which
continueto derive
derive benefit;
benefit; Thirdly,
Thirdly, pious
pious
offspringwho
who continuously
offspring
continuouslyinvoke
invokemercy
mercyof
Allah upon
of Allah
upon him.
him.
(svw)bestow
parents.
Children
Children are
are the
the blessings
which Allah
Allah (swt)
bestowto parents.
blessingswhich
properly,they
But if
if these
these children
children are
are not
not educated
educatedand
andtrained
trainedproperly,
they
parentsand
become
become nuisance
nuisanceto the
society. Whereas,
Whereas,if
if the
the parents
andthe
the society.
the
children
children are
are adequately
adequatelyeducated
educated and
andtrained,
trained,they
they shall
shall become
become
Islamic mission,
mission, transmitters
Islamicculture
bearers
bearersof Islamic
in the
transmittersof Islamic
culturein
the
parents.
society
societyand
andalso
alsobest
bestrewards
rewardsfor their
their deceased
deceasedparents.
forbidsabortion
Islam
Islamforbids
infanticide.The
The Qur'an
abortionand
andinfanticide.
says.
Qur'ansays:
your children
poverty. We
not your
fearingpoverty.
providefor them
Slay
Slay not
childrenfearing
We shall
shallprovide
them
you. Lo!
for you.
Lo! The
The slaying
greatsin.
and
andfor
slayingof them
themis
is great
sin.
Those who
who kill their
Those
their children
children out
out of their
foolishnessare
their foolishness
are the
the
greatestlosers.
greatest
losers.
11
as
Thus,
andinfanticide
infanticideare
areall
consideredas
Thus, abortions,
abortions,child-abuse
child-abuseand
all considered
natureis
is against
cruelty
heinous
heinous sins
Isiam. Islam
Islam by
its very
very nature
againstcruelty
sins in lsiam.
by its
plasticor
loop, shield,
and
shield,plastic
and barbarity.
barbarity. Any use
use of
of contraception
contraceptionloop,
is done
anything
cause abortion
is forbidden.
forbidden. Even
Even if
if abortion
anything to cause
abortion is
abortion is
done
going to
fertilizedovum
in seven
seven days,
days,it is
is unlawful,
unlawful, since
sincethe
the fertilized
ovum is going
human being.
being. However,
be
be aa human
However, only
is
only on
on one
onecondition
conditionabortion
abortionis
savethe
mother.
allowed
allowed -- to save
the life of
of the
the mother.
is not
not against
against
point out
here that
It is
important to point
that Islam
Islam is
out here
is also
also important
if
instance, if
technology,
technology. For instance,
but misuse
misuse of technology.
technology, but
lessensome
their
mothers to lessen
technological
some of their
devices help
help mothers
technological devices
prenatalperiod
periodand
Islamhas
hasno
no
complications
andchildbirth,
childbirth Islam
during prenatal
complicationsduring
objection.
discoveredand
and
But, if
if the
technological devices
devicesare
arediscovered
the technological
objection. But,
if
havebabies
used
let unmarried
teenage girls to have
babiesif
unmarried women
women or teenage
used to let
if such
such
they
it. Similarly,
wish to,
to, Islam
Islam strongly
objects it.
Similarly, if
strongly objects
they wish
which unmarried
unmarried
contraceptive
invented through
through which
contraceptive devices
devices are
are invented
girls can
relationshipswithout
women
without
teenagegirls
canengage
engagein sexual
sexualrelationships
women or teenage
pregnant,Islam
becoming
Likewise,Islam
Islam
Islam rejects
rejectsit completely.
completely.Likewise,
becoming pregnant,
produce
condemn
high-tech reproductive
reproductive aids
aids developed
developed to produce
conderr.n high-tech
artificial
mothers,fathers
fathers and
aswell
well as,
artificial mothers,
and children,
children,as
as,technological
technological
ways
engage
meansthrough
lesbiansand
way$ and
andmeans
throughwhich
which lesbians
andhomosexuals
homosexuals
engage
get children.
in their
their deviant
deviant sexuality
fact, Islam
Islamis
is totally
sexuality to get
children. In fact,
totally
against
all deviant
deviantforms
The Qur'an
againstall
formsof sexuality.
sexuality.The
says:
Qur'ansays:
you really
your lusts
reallyapproach
Would
menin your
lustsrather
Would you
ratherthan
thanwomen?
women?
approachmen
(grossly)ignorant.
ye are
people(grossly)
Nay,
Nay, ye
areaa people
ignorant.
Islam, no
no doubt
doubt encourages
Islam,
man to beget
encouragesman
begetchildren,
children,but
but through
through
rightful
rightful mean
meannot
not by
by unlawful
unlawful act.
The Qur1an
pointsout
act. The
how one
out how
one
Qur'anpoints
Prophets Hadhrat
(peacebe
the Prophets
Hadhrat Zakaria
of the
Zakaia (peace
prayedto
be upon
upon him)
him) prayed
(swt) for the
Allah (swt)
piousoffspring
Allah
the pious
offspringeven
evenin aa very
very old
old age:
age:
Lord! Bestow
Bestow upon
me by
goodlyoffspring
Lord!
upon me
Thy bounty
by Thy
bountygoodly
offspring- Lo!
Lol
Thou art
art the
the Hearer
Hearerof prayer.
prayer.
Thou
12
12
'invitrofertilization'
As far
farasasthe
the'invitro
fertilization'
(IVF)and
As
(IYF)
are
andtest
testtube
tubebabies
babies
are
concerned,
Islamallows
allowsonly
only ififthe
'ova' comes from
concerned,
Islam
the'ova'comes
fromthe
mother
themother
'sperm'from
andthe
the'sperm'
fromthe
thefather
into
and
fatherand
andthe
theembryo
embryoisistransferred
transferred
into
theuterus
uterusof
of one's
one'sown
own wife.
wife. Any
of
'invitro'
the
Any other
otherusage
usage
ofthe
the'invitro'
fertilization'by
byany
anywoman
womanor
fertilization'
orman
manwho
whoare
arenot
notmarried
marriedwith
witheach
each
otherbut
but would
wouldlike
liketotofollow
followthis
other
in
thistechnology
technologyisisnot
notacceptable
acceptable
in
Islam.
Islam.
Islamicstance
stanceon
on artificial
artificial insemination
inseminationisis also
Islamic
also quite
quite clear.
clear.ItIt
forbidsthe
the use
useof
of the
the sperm
spermof
forbids
of anyone
anyoneother
other than
thin that
that of
of the
the
husbandto
to be
beused
usedin
inthe
process
theprocess
husband
of
of artificial
artificialinsemination.
insemination.Such
such
an act
act tantamount
tantamountto
to adultery,
adultery,from
an
since
fromIslamic
Islamicperspective,
perspective,
sinceitit
fallsoutside
outside
themartial
martialunion
of man
falls
the
union of
manand
andwoman.
woman.
parents:
Obligationsof
of Children
ChildrenTowards
Towardstheir
Obligations
their Parents:
There is
is aa reciprocity
reciprocityof rights
rightsand
andduties
There
dutiesin
in Islam.
Islam. While
while parents
parenrs
are enjoined
enjoinedto
to be
be mindful
mindful of their
are
their children
children for their
their overall
overall
development,
childrenare
arealso
alsoexhorted
exhortedto be
development,
children
kind to
be obedient
obedientand
andkind
theirparents.
parents.
their
Both parents
parentsand
andchildren
childrenhave
Both
have corresponding
corresponding duties
duties towards
towards each
each
other along
along with their
other
their rights.
rights. There
There are
are several
several eur'anic
Qur'anic verses
verses
and
of light on the
the
and Prophetic
Prophetic traditions
traditions which
which tkow
throw abundance
abundance irtigtt
etiquette
of children
children towards
towards their
their parents.
parents. The
The eur'an
Qur'an saiys:
says:
etiquette of
Thy
Thy Lord
Lord hath
hath decreed
decreed that
that ye
ye worship
worship none
none save
save Him
Him and
and (that
(that ye
ye
show)
show) kindness
kindness to
to parents.
parents.
Islam
Islam thus
thus ordained
ordained children
children to
to be
be kind
kind and
and grateful
grateful to
to his
his parents.
parents.
Good
is even
even regarded
regarded as
as aa key
key to
to
Good conduct
conduct towards
towards parents
parents is
paradise.
paradise. The
The Prophet
Prophet (pbuh)
(pbuh) said:
said:
Your
Your entry
entry into
into Paradise
Paradise or
or Hell
Hell depends
depends on
on your
yourgood
goodor
orbad
bad
conduct
conduct towards
towards your
your parents.
parents.
13
(pbuh) also
Another
Another tradition
Prophet (pbuh)
also highlights
the
tradition of
highlights the
of the
the Prophet
parentsby
necessity
of fair
fair treatment
necessity
of
treatmentto
to parents
by children:
children:
man be
Let that
that man
again and
Let
be disgraced,
and disgraced
disgracedagain
let him
him be
be
disgraced,and
andlet
peopleEnquired:
disgracedeven
even more.
Enquired:"0
disgraced
more. The
The people
Prophetof
God
of God
"O Prophet
(pbuh) who
who is
is that
(pbuh)
Prophetaffirmed:
man
that man?
man? The
The Prophet
affrrmed:"l
refer to the
the man
"I refer
parentsold
who finds
finds his
his parents
in age
themor one
who
old in
age-- both
bothof them
them oneof them
yet did
and
and yet
did not
not earn
good
earn entitlement
entitlement to
to Paradise
Paradiseby
by rendering
renderinggood
serviceto
to them.
them.
service
pertinentto
seemsalso
alsopertinent
point out
It seems
herethat
to point
out here
that although
althoughchildren
childrenare
are
exhorted to be
parents, aa greater
greater
be obedient
exhorted
obedient and
and kind
kind to
to both
both parents,
given for
is given
emphasis is
for more
more better
emphasis
better treatment
treatmentand
and devotion
devotion to
mother. This
This is
is obviously
greatersacrifices
mother.
obviously because
becauseof her
hergreater
and
sacrificesand
sufferingsfor children.
children. The
The Qur'an
sufferings
says:
says:
Qur'an
And We
We have
havecommanded
commandedunto
mankindness
parentsHis
And
unto man
kindnesstowards
towardsparents
His
mother beareth
beareth him
him with suffering
mother
sufferingbringing
bringing forth
forth with suffering,
suffering,
bearinghim
him and
andweaning
weaningof him
bearing
him in thirty
thirty months.
months.
This is
is also
alsoillustrated
illustratedthrough
This
throughvarious
vruiousProphetic
Prophetictraditions:
traditions:
enjoinman
man about
abouthis
his mother.
mother.
I enjoin
enjoinman
man about
abouthis
I enjoin
his mother.
mother.
I enjoin
enjoinman
abouthis
man about
his mother.
mother.
enjoinman
abouthis
I enjoin
man about
his father.
father.
Thus
Islam is not
not discarded
discarded as
as a burden,
burden, a
Thus motherhood
motherhood in Islam
stumbling
of oppression
oppression
stumbling block
block for woman's
woman's development,
development, a source
source of
and
and suppression.
suppression. It is
is looked
looked upon
upon with respect
respect and
and honor
honor and
al)d is
is
considered
considered as
as a blessing
blessing from
from Allah (swt)
(swt) to man.
man. Motherly
Motherly
affection
affection and
and care
care deems
deems indispensable
indispensable for the
the proper
proper upbringing
upbringing
of
of children
children along
along with father's
father's affection
affection and
and concern.
concern. Motherhood
Motherhood
is regarded
as an
an essential
essential institution
institution for human
human civilization.
civilization.
regarded as
14
As discussed
discussed
greatimportance
above,Islam
Islamattaches
attachesgreat
importanceto
As
above,
to the
themutual
mutual
Iove and
and concern
concern for
for each
otherin
inthe
love
eachother
family. As
thefamily.
As father
fatherisisasked
asked
prayto
(swt)to
to pray
to Allah
Allah(swt)
to bring
bringin
in his
hiswife
to
wife and
childrencomfort
andchildren
comfortfor
for
his eyes,
eyes, children
childrenare
exhortedto
glancesof
are exhorted
his
to show
show glances
love and
of love
and
parents.The
devotionto
to parents.
(pbuh)said:
TheProphet
Prophet(pbuh)
devotion
said:
pious offspring
offspring who
"The pious
who castes
liThe
castesaa single
singlelook
look of
of affection
affectionat
at his
his
parentsreceives
receivesaa reward
reward from
from God
parents
God equal
equal to
to the
thereward
rewardof
of an
an
acceptedHajj.1I
Hajj." The
peoplesubmitted:
Thepeople
accepted
submitted:110
Prophetof
(peace
of Allah
Allah (peace
"O Prophet
you),if
be upon
uponyou),
if someone
someone
castsaa hundred
glancesof
be
casts
hundredsuch
suchglances
of love
loveand
and
affection at
parents,what
at his
his parents,
affection
what then?1I
then?"The
TheProphet
Prophetreplied:
replied:IIYes,
"yes,
indeed,even
even if
if one
one does
does so
indeed,
so aa hundred
hundredtime
timeaa day,
getaa
day,he
hewill get
hundred fold
fold reward.
reward. God
greaterthan
is far
far greater
Godis
you imagine
hundred
thanyou
imagineand
andis
is
completelyfree
freefrom
from petty
pettynarrow
narrowmindedness.
completely
mindedness.
Childrenare
arealso
alsoexhorted
exhortedto
pray for their
to pray
parents;
Children
their parents:
O, our
our Lord!
Lord! Grant
Grantforgiveness
forgivenessto my
parentsand
0,
my parents
andme
me and
pardon
and pardon
faithful on
all the
the faithful
on the
the Day
Day of Reckoning.
Reckoning.
Few Observations
Observationson
on the
Above Discussion:
the Above
Few
Discussion:
sexuality,reproduction
1.
reproduction and
and parents
parents and
and children
children relationship
relationship in
I Sexuality,
the
the family
family are
are all perceived
perceived in Islam
Islam as
as natural
natural and
and essential
essential
aspects
aspects of
of man's
man's life and
and are
are not
not separated
separated from
from the
the whole
whole
Tawhidic
of life and
and thought.
thought. Man is always
always reminded
reminded
Tawhidic framework
framework of
to be
of Allah's
Allah's guidance
guidance all through
through these
these relationships
relationships
be mindful
mindful of
whether
whether sexual
sexual or parental.
parental.
22. sexuality
Sexuality and
and reproduction
reproduction outside
outside marriage
marriage are
are rejected
rejected
downright
downright and
and considered
considered unlawful,
unlawful, no matter
matter all technological
technological
devices
devices make
make them
them possible
possible outside
outside marriage.
marriage.
A loving,
loving, devoted,
devoted, peaceful
peaceful and
and harmonious
harmonious relationship
relationship
I3. A
between
and wife
wife is
is greatly
greatly emphasized.
emphasized. Man,s
Man's
between husband
husband and
domination
and woman's
woman's subservience
subservience to
to man
man are
are completely
completely
domination and
l15
5
rejected. Men
Men and
and women
women complement
complement each
each other
other and
and not
not
rejected.
compete against
against each
each other.
other. Islamic
Islamic family
family system
system is
is neither
neither
compete
patriarchal nor
nor matriarchal,
matriarchal, rather
rather consultational,
consultational, shura-based.
shura-based.
patriarchal
4. An
An affectionate,
affectionate, cordial,
cordial, intimate
intimate and
and aa deeper
deeper relationship
relationship
4.
between parents
parents and
and children
children is
is strongly
strongly upheld
upheld in
in Islam.
Islam. A
A stable
stable
between
of caring
caring parents
parents and
and devoted
devoted children
children is
is expected
expected for
for aa
family of
family
better society
society and a healthier
healthier civilization.
civilization.
better
Conclusion:
Conclusion:
We cannot
cannot afficrd
afford to be complacent
complacent and
and take comfort in the Islamic
We
husband
of
sexuality,
reproduction,
husband and
and wife relationship
relationship
theories
reproductioq
theories of senrality,
and parents
parents and
and childrtn
children relationship
relationship which are
are based
based on the
and
Qur'anic injunctions
injunctions and
and Prophetic
Prophetic traditions
traditions unless
unless we see
see these
these
Qu/anic
theories
are
put
into
practice.
theoriesare
Practice.
patterns
relationshippatterns
the relationship
that the
For instance,
out that
generallyfound
found out
instance,it is generally
even
pafents
and
children
between
husband
and
wife
and
between
parents
and
children
even
between
and
between husbandand
there
Broadly there
not satisfactory.
satisfactory. Broadly
in some
alsonot
are also
societiesare
some Muslim societies
are
problems:
threeproblems:
arethree
and
women and
towards women
attitude towards
1.L Men
keep aa despotic
despotic attitude
to keep
tend to
Men tend
male
the male
gapbetween
betweenthe
children.
communication gap
is aa big communication
There is
children. There
womenonly
only
from women
Men expect
expectfrom
members
children. Men
andchildren.
femalesand
andfemales
membersand
Exchange
care.
and
children
of
cooking,
cleaning
and
children
care.
Exchange
familial
service
cleaning
cooking,
familial serviceof
world, of
of
outsideworld,
theoutside
problem of
of the
of
any problem
ideas on
on any
and ideas
thoughts and
of thoughts
almost
field isis almost
other field
of any
any other
Muslim
or of
intellectual or
of intellectual
Ummah, of
Muslim Ummah,
and
fearfuland
environment,aafearful
caringenvironment,
absent.
loving and
andcaring
of aa loving
Insteadof
absent. Instead
menusually
usually
becausemen
housebecause
tensed
prevailsin
in the
the house
environmentprevails
tensedenvironment
their
markof
of their
as aa mark
children as
maintain
and children
from women
women and
distancefrom
maintain distance
to be
be
turnsto
eventurns
honorsometimes
sometimeseven
artificial
This sort
of honor
sort of
honor. This
artificial honor.
of
all
sorts
distorts
and
all
sorts
of
horrific
among
other
family
members
and
distorts
members
family
other
horrific among
as
injunctionsas
Islamic injunctions
goesagainst
againstIslamic
relationships.
Although itit goes
relationships. Although
to itit
haloisisattached
attached
religioushalo
to
described
even
evenaareligious
sometimes
above, sometimes
describedabove,
l6
16
for which
which reason
reason women
women and
andchildren
for
children could
could hardly
hardly express
express
themselves
and
becomevictims
victimsof
ofhorror.
horror.
themselves and become
ln some
somecases,
cases,women
women are
arealone
2.z- In
aloneexpected
expectedto
totake
takeover
overall
allthe
the
responsibilities
of children
children and
and men
men completely
responsibilities of
completelyexempt
exemptfrom
fromit.it.
For the
thebetter
bettereducational
educationalupbringing
upbringingof
For
both
ofchildren,
chi-ldren,
bottrmother
motherand
and
father require
require to
play their
to play
their important
important roles.
father
roles. In
In those
thosefamilies
families
where women
women are
are hardly
hardly educated,
educated,itit becomes
where
becomesall
all the
the more
more
problematic
for children
childrento
getproper
to get
propereducational
problematic for
educationalfeedback.
feedback.
whereas in
in some
some cases,
cases,where
where both
parentsare
both parents
Whereas
are educated
educatedand
and
working, again
again children
childrenbecome
becomethe
thevictims
victims since
working,
sincethey
theydo
do not
notget
get
proper attention
attention from
from their
their parents.
parents.Men
proper
Men claim
claim that
thatthey
ihey are
aretoo
too
busy and
andwomen
womenblame
blamemen
menfor
for non-eo-operation
non-co-operationin
busy
in house-chores
house-chores
and claim
claim that
that they
they are
areover-burdened
over-burdenedwith double
and
doubleworkload
workloadand
and
tend to
to neglect
neglectchildren.
children. Children
children feel
feel that
tend
that they
they are
arealienated
alienatedfrom
from
parents.
both parents.
both
3. Due
Due to lack
lack of
of mutual
mutualunderstanding
understandingand
3.
and confidence
confidenceon
on each
each
otheq the
the relationships
relationships between
between husband
husband and
other,
and wife grows
grows tensed
tensed
and sometimes
sometimesgives
givesrise
rise to divorce.
divorce. Children
parents
and
children of
of divorced
divorcedparents
turn
tum out
out to
to be
be aggressive
aggressive and
and anti-social.
anti-social.
17
References:
References:
the
as the
Islam as
on Islam
study o_n
convincing studyand convincing
comprehensive and
1.
l. For a comprehensive
Syed Abul Ala
of Syed
books of
various books
see various
of life, see
way of
complete wai
complete
Islamic
Lahore Islamic
of Life, Lahore
as -- Islamic Way of
ruih as
Mawdudi
Mawdudi such
,
Lumpur,
Lumpur
Kuala
,
Muslims
Muslims,
be
be
publications,
uS
us
Let
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