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Spooky Dog
and the Teen-Age
Gang Mysteries
by Eric Pliner
and Amy Rhodes
A Samuel French Acting Edition
samuelfrench.com
Copyright © 2008 by Eric Pliner and Amy Rhodes
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ISBN
978-0-573-65146-5
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IMPORTANT BILLING AND CREDIT
REQUIREMENTS
All producers of SPOOKY DOG AND THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES must give credit to the Author of the Play in all programs
distributed in connection with performances of the Play, and in all
instances in which the title of the Play appears for the purposes of advertising, publicizing or otherwise exploiting the Play and/or a production.
The name of the Author must appear on a separate line on which no
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size of type not less than fifty percent of the size of the title type.
SPOOKY DOG & THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES was presented on
December 11, 1998 at the Green Street Studios in Cambridge, Massachusetts. It was directed and choreographed by Eric Pliner, with costumes
and sets by the Company. The cast was as follows:
THELMA . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Amy Rhodes
TIFFANY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Melanie J. Lerch
SCRAGGLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Daniel Newfield
TED . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . T’ai Merion
SPOOKY DOG . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Brian Jewell
MRS. WOODHAVEN / FORTUANA . . . . . . . . Jan Davidson
BIG WOODY / PHANTOM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dan Richardson
SPOOKY DOG & THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES was later presented on October 13, 2000 at the Kraine Theatre, New York, NY. It
was directed by Eric Pliner, with choreography by Beth Portnoy, stage
management by Bonnie Brady, and costumes and sets by the Company.
The cast was as follows:
THELMA . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Amy Rhodes
TIFFANY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kate Hess
SCRAGGLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . J.C. DeVore
TED . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Adam Rose
SPOOKY DOG . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Travis Dean Bellichi
MRS. WOODHAVEN / FORTUANA . . . . . . . . Jennifer Plante
BIG WOODY / PHANTOM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Rodney Lane Holland
CHARACTERS
THELMA, the nerdy brainiac who wants to solve mysteries, even though
she has a few of her own
TIFFANY, the gorgeous, vapid, and sometimes catty rich girl who uses
her sexuality to get what she wants
SCRAGGLY, the hippie stoner who loves to eat, sleep, and hang out with
his best friend, Spooky Dog
TED, the all-American leader of the Teen-Age Mystery Gang, a hand-
some football player-type with a fey side
SPOOKY DOG, a dog detective with a huge appetite and an uncanny abil-
ity to solve mysteries, perhaps because he’s smarter than his human
friends
PHANTOM, aka the Fairground Phantom or Dupray Dupree, the ghost
of a long-dead country singer who haunts the Creepola County
County Fair
MRS. WOODHAVEN, the batty old lady who runs the Creepola County
County Fair with her weirdo husband
MR. WOODHAVEN, aka BIG WOODY, the weirdo husband of the batty
old lady
FORTUANA, the lousy psychic fortune teller – and Mrs. Woodhaven’s
identical twin sister
SETTING
The Creepola County County Fair and locations nearby
TIME
The late 1960’s / early 1970’s . . . or not.
PRODUCTION NOTES
Spooky Dog & The Teen-Age Gang Mysteries is a stage parody of Saturday
morning cartoons. The look and feel of productions (costumes, sets,
props, even marketing) should be bright and flat, musical, colorful and
two-dimensional – but the characters themselves should be the opposite:
clueless and somehow real, if only in their own minds.
Every joke, comment, and even visual gag in the script is an intentional double entendre, likely laden with sexual innuendo or other
significance – but the characters have no idea. If you think you’ve noticed
a hidden meaning when you read a line, you’re probably right – but Ted,
Tiffany, Thelma, Scraggly, and Spooky aren’t in on the joke. The reveal
of these jokes, then, should be slow. When Scraggly says that he and
Spooky are going to roll a big dog bone, he means it (hopefully you and
your audience know otherwise). In the second scene, Ted doesn’t realize
that the Spooky Snacks in his pocket might appear as though he’s happy
to see everyone, and while Tiffany knows that the back of Thelma’s flashlight is sticky, the real reason would never occur to her.
We begin to get a sense of these characters as three-dimensional in
glimpses – Ted and Thelma swear in reaction to fear or annoyance, for
instance, which should catch the audience off-guard – but by the time
they chase each other (oh, and the Phantom), they’ve let it all hang out.
Both Ted and Thelma are openly hitting on Tiffany, who is using her
sexuality brazenly; Spooky and Scraggly are clearly, ahem, altered and
indulging their hunger accordingly; even the Phantom is taking part in
the hi-jinks. Let it be a relatively slow burn for the audience and for the
characters, though; if there’s too much too soon, the comedy evaporates
like Thelma’s elusive Phantom footprints.
Remember: SPOOKY DOG is a stage parody of Saturday morning
television, making explicit the themes that we as children and young
adults suspected might be lying just beneath the surface. Going too far
in suggesting (in your presentation or marketing) that SPOOKY DOG
is a stage version of a particular program might dilute the joke or result
in an audience full of children . . . or worse. Make it big, fill it with fun
music, use your best cartoon character voices, keep it colorful, make
it over-the-top and campy, and most importantly, keep it honest. You’ll
have more fun that way, and so will our characters – and your audience.
– Eric Pliner
New York, NY
READER
In memory of T’ai Merion, who made us laugh.
7
8
READER
PROLOGUE
Prior to each performance, one or more actors should
welcome the audience (as themselves, not in character
and definitely not in costume). These actor(s) should
then request from the audience the following suggestions,
which will appear in the show.
1. THE CELEBRITY. The name of a celebrity. She or he
should be someone who is alive and who most people will
know. Celebrities or popular icons who have a large body
of work or who sing, dance, and act are good choices –
e.g. Madonna, Britney Spears, Cher, Tom Cruise, and
Will Smith have been successful in the past. The more
the celebrity has done, the easier it will be to weave her
or him into the story. Wherever the script says “the performer,” actors should substitute the name of the selected
celebrity.
2. THE OBJECT. An actual object brought to the theater
by an audience member. The cast member(s) should take
the actual object – not just the name of the object – from
the audience member for use in the performance. Good
choices include such items as makeup, keys, an umbrella,
or a book. The object will be used in Scene 8, and should
be referenced wherever the script says “the object.”
3. THE ADVICE. A bit of advice a mother might give.
It helps to ask the audience for “advice your mother gave
you when you were growing up.” Good examples include
9
10
SPOOKY DOG AND THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES
“Look both ways before you cross the street” or “Always
wear clean underwear.” The advice will be used in scenes
4, 9, and 12, and should be quoted wherever the script
says “the advice.”
Afterwards, there should be a 2-3 minute musical interlude to allow time for the cast to prepare some of the
connecting lines for these items, and for the actor(s) who
introduced the show to change into their costumes.
SPOOKY DOG AND THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES
11
SCENE ONE
(Blackout. ALL enter, with flashlights.)
THELMA. Scraggly? Scraggly?
TIFFANY. Thelma? Thelma?
SCRAGGLY. Ted? Oh, Teddy!
TED. Tiffany? Tiffany?
THELMA. Hey! Where’s Spooky?
ALL. Hey Spooky! Where are you?
SPOOKY. Spooky Spooky Dog!
(Lights up. ALL perform an introductory musical
number.)
TIFFANY. (to audience) Spooky Dog and the Teenage Mys-
tery Gang in the Case of the Fairground Phantom.
12
SPOOKY DOG AND THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES
SCENE TWO
(A funky apartment.)
THELMA. It sure was groovy of your dad to invite us here
for the weekend, Tiffany.
SCRAGGLY. Like, yeah, and to stock the refrigerator. Hey,
Spooky – how’s about a little snicky-snack?
SPOOKY. Snicky-snack? Okay.
SCRAGGLY. One watermelon-anchovy soufflé on a baguette
coming right up!
SPOOKY. (Laughs.)
TIFFANY. Hey, has anyone seen Ted?
THELMA. I think he’s outside packing the Clue Caravan.
TIFFANY. Packing? Ted’s packing?
TED. (Enters, an unusually large bulge in his pants.) I sure am,
Tiffany. I want to make sure everything is ready for our
big camping trip tomorrow! (Removes a package from
his pocket.) And look what I found – an extra roll of
Spooky Snacks!
SPOOKY. Spooky Snacks?
SCRAGGLY. Like, the perfect topping for our soufflé on a
baguette!
TED. I don’t think so. We’ll save these for later.
SCRAGGLY. But, like, what’s the point of later when we can
have them now?!
TIFFANY. Good things come to those who wait.
(The phone rings.)
THELMA. The phone is ringing!
TIFFANY. That must mean there’s a phone call!
SPOOKY DOG AND THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES
13
TED. I’ll get it. (He answers.) Wherever there’s trouble,
we’re there on the double, Teenage Mystery Gang!
How can I help you? What? You mean... Right now? I’ll
see what I can do. Oh, my gosh! Right in front? We’ll
be there as soon as we can!
TIFFANY. What is it, Ted?
TED. It’s a phone call!
THELMA. Who was it?
TED. Oh, it’s the performer.
THELMA. The performer? We haven’t seen the performer
since...
(She improvises an explanation, incorporating a joke
about the performer.)
SCRAGGLY. Like, what’d s/he want, Ted?
TED. S/he’s headlining at the county fair.
SCRAGGLY. The county fair! Like, I love the county fair!
Hot dogs, funnel cake, lemonade, chocolate covered
shish-on-the-kebab!
TIFFANY. What act is s/he doing?
(TED improvises an explanation, incorporating a joke
about the performer.)
TED. And s/he wants to come down right away!
THELMA. Right away! Is everything okay?
TED. I’m not sure. It sounded pretty urgent.
TIFFANY. But what about our trip?
TED. If there’s really something wrong, Tiffany, this is no
time for tripping!
SCRAGGLY. Now, let’s not be too hasty, Teddy.
14
SPOOKY DOG AND THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES
SPOOKY. Too hasty!
TIFFANY. Anyway, I haven’t even finished my protein
shake!
TED. I said we’d get there as soon as we can.
SCRAGGLY. Like, what should we do?
SPOOKY. Let’s go!
TED. To the Clue Caravan, gang!
(Blackout.)
SPOOKY DOG AND THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES
15
SCENE THREE
(The front seat of the Clue Caravan. TED drives, everyone else sits in the passenger seat.)
TED. Well, gang, we’re almost there.
TIFFANY. It sure is groovy that we’re finally going to see the
performer after all this time!
SCRAGGLY. Like, how did you guys meet someone so
famous anyway?
(TED improvises an explanation, incorporating a joke
about the performer.)
THELMA. Ted, are you sure you know where you’re going?
TED. It’s a short ride, and I’m taking a short cut.
THELMA. According to my calculations, your little short cut
is only taking us a few inches out of the way.
TIFFANY. A few inches? What good is a few inches?
TED. Good things come to those who wait!
TIFFANY. Huh?
SCRAGGLY. Zoinks! Like, what kind of a fairground is so
deep in the woods?
TIFFANY. (She screams.) Can you feel that?
TED. What’s wrong?
TIFFANY. This creepy shortcut is giving me goose bumps
all over!
THELMA. I don’t feel a thing.
TIFFANY. (Grabs THELMA’s hand.) How about now?
THELMA. Now I feel something.
SCRAGGLY. Like, me, too.
SPOOKY. Yipes!
16
SPOOKY DOG AND THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES
SCRAGGLY. Spooky, what’s wrong?
SPOOKY. Something bit my tail!
ALL. Oh, no!
SCRAGGLY. Like, maybe it was a ghost!
ALL. A ghost!
THELMA. Now, Spooky, why would a ghost bite your tail?
SPOOKY. Maybe he was hungry?
TIFFANY. I found something!
TED. Good work, Tiffany! What is it?
TIFFANY. It’s my tambourine! I’ve been looking for this!
SCRAGGLY. Are we there yet?
TED. Almost. The map says we just have to pass a swamp
on the left, an abandoned mansion on the right, and
drive over two rickety bridges.
(The PHANTOM runs by. TED slams on the brakes.)
TED. Whoa! That was close!
SPOOKY. What was that?
SCRAGGLY. M-m-m-m-maybe it was a ghost!
TIFFANY. Maybe it was just a tree.
THELMA. I don’t know about you guys, but now I’m getting
a really weird feeling about this.
TED. Maybe it’s excitement! Look, gang! (He points at a
sign.)
ALL. Welcome to the Creepola County County Fair!
TED. We’re there!
SCRAGGLY. Groovy!
(Blackout.)
SPOOKY DOG AND THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES
17
SCENE FOUR
(The fairground, behind the dressing room.)
SCRAGGLY. Like, it sure is dark back here, Ted.
TED. Keep looking, gang. There must be a door around
here somewhere.
THELMA. Are you sure the performer said to meet up
behind the theater, Ted?
TED. I’m pretty sure, Thelma. S/he said, “Let’s meet at the
theater,” and I said, “Right in front?” And s/he said,
“No, meet me at the stage door behind the building.”
TIFFANY. That’s strange. Why wouldn’t s/he just meet us
out front?
THELMA. S/he does have a performance tonight. Maybe s/
he’s getting ready for the show.
SPOOKY. A door.
TIFFANY. What is it, Spooky?
SPOOKY. A door!
TIFFANY. Hey, everybody! Spooky found...
ALL. A door!
TED. This must be the door we’re looking for. Good work,
Spooky! Oh no! It’s locked.
TIFFANY. That means we can’t open it!
(MRS. WOODHAVEN enters.)
SPOOKY. Sc-Sc-Sc-Sc-Scraggly!
SCRAGGLY. Hey, I think Spooky’s found something else!
TIFFANY. What is it, Spooky?
SPOOKY. (Howls.)
MRS. WOODHAVEN. Who are you?
18
SPOOKY DOG AND THE TEEN-AGE GANG MYSTERIES
SCRAGGLY. Like, we’re nobody!
MRS. WOODHAVEN. What are you doin’ meddlin’ around
back here?
TED. We’re sorry, ma’am. We’re friends of the performer.
MRS. WOODHAVEN. We don’t allow no autograph hounds
‘round here.
SCRAGGLY. Uh oh!
MRS. WOODHAVEN. Or any other kinda hounds neither!
SPOOKY. Uh oh!
(BIG WOODY enters.)
BIG WOODY. What’s all this racket out here?
SCRAGGLY & SPOOKY. Uh oh!
MRS. WOODHAVEN. I just caught some meddlers pokin’
around where nobody oughta be pokin’!
SCRAGGLY. Like, no one touched her! We swear!
BIG WOODY. Alright, settle down. Who are you and what
are you doing here?
TED. We’re friends of the performer. S/he called earlier
tonight and told us to meet her/him here pronto!
BIG WOODY. I’m Mr. Woodhaven. I’m the owner of this
fair. You can call me Big Woody. And this is my wife,
Mrs. Woodhaven.
MRS. WOODHAVEN. And I’m takin’ names. I want to know
exactly who’s been snoopin’ around my fairground.
TIFFANY. Pleased to meet you ma’am. Like, I’m Tiffany,
and this is Teddy.
MRS. WOODHAVEN. Eh.
THELMA. And, like, I’m Thelma.
SCRAGGLY. I’m Scraggly. And this is our Great Dane
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