ar.
r
r:
-
nOOD KIVEB GLACIER, THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 1913
cold water to
drink before you go? And why don't
you tske a crust of bread and a piece
of suet for your lunch?"
Had tbe cat been around Mr. Bowser
would have abed ber blood In gleeful
Sets Out to Live the Simple Life ferocity, but a she wasn't, and as bt
was determined that Mrs. Bowser
With Fervor.
shouldn't get the best of him while life
remained, be went bia way without a
MILK. word, it so happened that at the gat
AND
TOAST
EATS
be met the policeman who bad almost
collared htm for a tramp the day beAte
DriiHi For th Part Deepit fore, and the. officer looked him ever
After On Night and demanded:
Mrs. B.'s pleading
"Now, then, have you been begging
Views Ar Altered, and Hs
brief yea a (Isss of
BOWSERJREAMS.
of It His
Has a Chang
Mica Axle Grease
By M. QUAD.
'Copyright. MX by Aaaociated
axle,
forms a thin film of ground Mica on the
thereby furnishing a perfect bearing surface.
If renewed occasionally, you have an easy
pulling load always. Dealers everywhere.
t4
"Why, wbnt's the matter?'
"I told you weeks ago that I was
going to quit inn king a hog of niyselr,
and right here tonight is where I be
SAN TRANCISCO
M.Mii
--
gin."
"To starve yourself because some
few faddists have?"
"No. To eat sensible things and give
nature a show. It's a wonder that the
country hasn't depopulated itself long
ago. You and the rest can go on and
do ns you please, but I'm going to
make a rbaiipe. A piece of toust and a
glass of milk for my dinner!"
Iiiiring the evening Mrs. Bowser ar
gued and protested, but it was of no
use. Mr. Bowser was firm. He had
been a human hog for nigh upon fifty
years, and now he was going to be
come n human being. For half a cen
ttiry he had thought mostly, of his
stomach, but now he was going to let
other thoughts creep in.
He went to bed fo dream. He dream
ed of codfish, cornmeal, cold potatoes
and raw turnips. He dreamed of old
clothes, going barefoot and sleeping
on straw beds. He dreamed that be
was trying to get Into a first class
restaurant to order Juicy steak, cream
ed potatoes, asparagus with butter
gravy and all else good, to be followed
by a bottle of champagne, but that the
Iter. Charles Wagner stood iu bis path
THE FIRST NATIONAL BANK
OR COOn
MOOD RIVEK
)1
3 ON
UNOtI U.S.
1
BANKING
SAVINGS II
nACCOWDM
l"r.J
I
(CALIFORNIA)
aWtkiifiilBiiiMri'nr"-
Literary
1IOFE you bave good appetite
tills timing." said Mrs. Bowser
us she wet Mr. Bowser at the
door the utuer evening. "We
good roast of beef tit for a
have
klug."
"Then let the king eat It:" was the
reply.
Standard Oil Company
PORTLAND
of Heart.
A bank account, even though it may
be a small one, is the safest means of
doing business. Your checks are the
best receipts 'for all bills paid and your
funds will be neither lost norstolen from
our vaults. It only requires a small
balance with us, and we will obligate
ourselves to keep your finances straight
and furnish you with the necessary check
books and deposit books free of charge.
Talk It Over.With Our Cashier
surplus siiaa.ooolCftXa
'ly""1aritals
"
o
HERE IS YOUR CHANCE!
53 acres about 25 acres in cultivation fronting on Columbia River. 71 miles east of Portland on S. P. & S. Ry.
(North Bank) fair improvements on place. This land is similar and equal to places on the river near White Salmon for
early vegetables, fruit and berries. I am going to sell this
place; if interested write or call on
F. W. DEHART,
Washington
Hood,
LONG
TIME FARM
LOANS.
Simple and Easy Credit System That
Operatee In Europe.
Tbe staudard length of time In Europe for a long time farm loan Is fifty-foyears.
For such a loan at tbe
present time the rate la 4.63 per cent
divided as follows: Interest 4 per
.35 per cent and
amortization tpayment on principal) GO
per cent This rate will pay both
principal and interest and repay all
charge due to tbe bank in fifty-fou- r
years. As this will seem almost In
credible to some students, I will give
at that bouse?"
bow It works.
"I I live there, I'd have you know." a coucrete Illustration of
depend upon compound
not
does
It
"Don't lie to me, old fake! I bare
upon the fact that, though
my eye on you, and If I catch you Interest, but
rate of yearly payment remains
tripping you'll go to the cooler. Hustle the same,
tbe charge for Interest and
tbe
along with you!"
administration Is constantly decreasing
Blew to Simple Life.
because they are computed on the
It waa a bard blow to Mr. Bowser's principal sum which la constantly be
"simplicity." He fumed and raged for ing repaid; therefore the proportion
the next two blocks, and something which Is applied toward tbe repayment
bapiened that brought about tbe be- of the principal Is always increasing,
ginning of the end. Tbe Ceeper of a
For Illustration, If tbe debt la
restaurant, who was standing at bis
the debtor will pay 123.23 every
door, beckoned to hi in and said:
six months. Of the first payment, $20
"Here, old man, if you'll clean off the will go for Interest $1.75 belongs to the
rest of this snow I'll give you a bite bsuk, and $2.50 Is applied to the repay
ment of the principal.
When the debt
of breakfast."
"You go to Jericho!" was the prompt Is half discharged, however, this distribution will be greatly changed. The
and vigorous answer.
borrower will pay $23.25, as usual. Of
"Whnt! What's that? Look
you old Weary Willie, If you give m
this amount only $10 will go for Interany of your lip I'll stand you on your est 83 cents will be retained by the
bank, while $13.37 will be applied to
head! What do you think I am?"
"And who do you think I am?" hiss- the discharge of the principal. The
ed Mr. Bowser as he thrust his chin final payment will be almost wholly to
tbe payment of principal, as tbe first
forward ami prepared for battle.
one
went largely to the payment of
scrap
have
been
a
There would
but
f
of 1
for a small boy who happened to be Interest In this way
per oent will repay the principal In
passing and recognized Mr. Bowser.
r
years, provided a constant
"Say," he called to the restaurateur,
Is maintained on the prin
payment
"that feller ain't no tramp! He don't
cipal for Interest during' tbe entire
have to shovel suow to git a meal!"
period. Representative Ralph W. Moss
"Then who In blazes Is be?"
Work.
"He's old Bowser, who lives up on In World's
First place. He's wearln' them duds
ORIGIN OF THE HARP.
because he's got a new fad."
He Sends a Telegram.
Mr. Bowser left the house at 8:30. At Evolved From the Lyre of the High
Priest of Osiris.
0:15 Mrs. Bowser received a telegram,
The history of tbe piano counts as a
reading:
"Hare fried chicken, corn fritters day compared to tbe harp. We have
and sweet potatoes for dinner tonight!" authentic records that as early as
Half an hour later came another, 1800 B. C. the first lyre was evolved
from the mind of tbe high priest of
reading:
Osiris,
who lu one of his daily walks
oyster
soup.
on"Have
Have boiled
along the banks of tbe river Nile found
ions. Have rice pudding."
Then Mr. Bowser rested for an hour an empty tortoise shell spanned with
dried ligaments. Happening to strike
and sent the following:
pleas-lu"Have dinner half an hour ahead of It, he noticed that it gave forth
sounds, and he at once made an
the usual time. Have two fried chick
ens. Have ice cream and ralslus and Instrument on the plan of tbe tortoise
nuts for dessert Spare no expense shell.
From tbe lyre It was but an easy
whatever."
famous
There was one more telegram. It step to tbe harp, now the most
one
came about 3 o'clock In tbe afternoon Instrument in the world. Milesius,
It
carried
priests,
of
Phoenician
the
and It read:
"May bring home two friends with with him In his conquest to Ireland,
and there he planted It among the mume for dinner. Have three fried chick
ens. Have everything you can think sic loving Celts in 1200 B. C. The royal
feaof. Have a regular banquet, and If the' Instrument became a controlling
cook does any kicking raise her salary." ture In druldical worship, and the harpMr. Bowser nppeured half an hour ist or bard ranked with royalty, the
ahead of his usual time. He not only prophet and the priest Tbe drulds
thirty-had on the business suit she hud sent advanced the harp from eleven to
strings and crowned their efover to him, but he had bought him. two
self a flaming red necktie and a rhlne-- forts In its improvement by tbe evolustone pin and bad his shoes shlned as tion of the pillar, which has ever since
found universal adoption.
never before.
Our modern harp consists of forty-fiv"Well, dear, what Is It?" queried
strings, seven peor forty-seveMrs. Bowser as he entered the hall.
each
note
in the octave
for
dalsone
"What Is what?"
"Why have you decided not to pur and the wonderful instrument shares
with the piano and organ the faculty
sue the 'simple life' any further?"
of being autonomous that is to say, It
"I fail to catch your meaning."
"You read the 'Simple Life,' by the needs no accompaniment and furnishes
Rev. Charles Wagner, and you started both melody and harmony. Miss
De Lone in New York Tribune.
out to follow it Are you going to
drop it?"
"We will have a little talk after
Two Ideas.
Url, a candidate for congress, said
woman!" he replied as he made
for the dining room.
to Jonathan, another, during a heated
debate: "I think, sir, you have but one
Banquet Was Prepared.
idea in your bead. It is a very small
A banquet had been prepared, and
though Mr. Bowser hadn't brought one, and if it should swell your head
would burst"
two friends with him he devoured
Jonathan, looking at the bare and
their share. A shipwrecked mariner
afloat for two weeks couldn't have venerable head of his opponent rebeen more ravenous.
When he was plied: "Well, I think you haven't one
at hist through eating and drinking he In your head and never bad. There
led the way upstairs and turned to her has been one scratching aroand the
outside, trying to get in, till it has
to say:
scratched all the hair off your head.
"Woman, this is the dend line!"
But It didn't get in, aud It never will."
"Why, what do you mean?"
"I mean that you have crowded me Url was silent Chicago News.
to the wall for the last time. I will
see you on board the train for your
Hindu Confectionery.
mother's at 10 o'clock In the morning!"
Like the American girls, Hindu girls
"But for why? What have 1 done? are passionately fond of sweet things.
You started out to live a 'simple life' One of their candies, sadu, Is very
and"
much like our plain sugar candy. It Is
"And our respective lawyers can ar made of sugar and milk and flavored
range about tbe alimony.
Should any with attar of roses. Buddblkabal, or
one call to see nie this evening you hair of Buddha, is one of their most
tuny tell blm that I am busy and canpopular sweetmeats. It is so called
not he disturbed."
because it Is In fine, long strings like
"Was it
of the 'Simple Life vermicelli. This is made of sugar and
that made him carry on so, mum?" cream from buffalo's milk, which Is
asked the cook when Mrs. Bowser
exceedingly rich.
came downstairs.
"I think It was, Bridget."
Earth. and Moon.
"Then I wants to quit me job at
The diameter of tbe earth is 8,000
Feroonce. He may get hould of The
miles. The diameter of the moon is
cious Life' and rend It before be goes 2,102 miles. The nearest approach of
to bed. and who's to say he won't get the surfaces of the two bodies is
up and eat pounded glass and drink
miles. The mean distance from
vinegar and chop us all to pieces wld the earth Is 238,850 miles, the maxdo ax!
of yer pardon ten imum distance which may be reached
times over, 11111111,' but ye've got a being 252,830 miles. The moon's surstrange man on yer bands."
face contains about 14, 085,000 square
miles, or nearly four times the area of
Seeking Distraction.
Europe.
'Why do you suppose It Is," she ask
ed, "that nearly all the great men of
Still Sadder.
this world have been married?"
"What could be more sad than a
"I suppose." replied the old bachelor,
man without a country?" feelingly
It's because they had to do something asked the high school literature teachto get their minds off the troubles they er of her class.
had at home." Chicago Record-Heral"A country w ithout a man," responded a pretty girl just as feelingly.
Woman's Home Companion.
Horrors, Yes!"
'What could be more sad than a
man without a country?" feelingly
A 8urgical Operation.
The customer raised his hand, and
sked the high school literature teacn- er of her class.
the barber, pausing in the operation of
shaving him. Inclined his head. "Sir?"
"A country w ithout a man," respond
ed a pretty girl Just as feelingly.
"Give me gas," said the customer.
TUB OFFlt'KB LOOKKD HIM OVER.
with a Bled stake In his hand. and
warned hliu to turn back and be satis-tiewith burdock leaves.
H
Has Four Nightmares.
Four different times during the night
his groaus anil yells aroused Mrs. Bowser, and when tbe hour for getting up
arrived be looked like a mil u who hud
been lost In a huckleberry swamp for a
week. She felt sorry for him, and yet
she said:
"You are ten minutes late this morning, but the cook will have your fried
bread and cotltlsli all ready."
Mr. Bowser glared at her and was on
the point of giving expression to his
d
Makes Bread llavingthe
Old Bready Flavor
AT YOUR GROCERS
fcelitats when he remembered he was
a guileless Unfit- - Hube. He had to sit
down to the feast prepared for him,
and he had to seem to enjoy It, but
there was rage lit his heart. A dainty
breakfast had been prepared for Mrs.
Bowser, and when the odor wufted to
his nostrils he felt amassed that he
didn't arm himself with an ax or crowbar and break loose.
"I thought you Vere going to do
without collar and necktie today?"
queried Mrs. Bowser as he finished his
meal and was getting ready .to go.
"Who said I was going to?" he demanded iu something like his old bossy
tones.
"I I thought a stocking around the
neck would be more In keeping with
your old clothes, but of course It's for
you to say. I'll have cook boll you a
yellow turnip and make some catnip
tea for your dinner tonight. Have you
a headache this morning?"
"Of course not. I never felt better
In my life."
"I'm glad to hear that. I didn't know
but that a simple life might be a trial
to you. but it seems to be just whut
you needed. Shall you sleep on the
floor tonight? Beds are simply a useless extravagance."
Oregon Lumber Co.
Dee, Oregon
ALL KINDS OF LUMBER, SHINGLES
SLAB WOOD, ETC. CAN FURNISH
CEDAR SHIP LAP, ANY QUANTITY
Both Phones
EstimatesfFurnished
Bowser Retorts Grouchily.
"You needn't worry about where I
shall sleep!" he growled in reply as he
struggled with his overcoat.
"I'll have a tallow candle toulght,
and we'll pop corn and play checkers
the same ns the farmers. I think If
you keep the thing up for a month 1
shall become a convert."
"A - a month!" gasped Mr. Bowse.r.
as he felt the wolf of hunger gnawing
at his vitals.
"Well, even two weeks. Shan't 1
S. E. BARTMESS
Funeral Director and Practical Embalm ei
Established
18
Years
HOOD RIVER, OREGON
New Schedule
COTTAGE
HOSPITAL
Hood River's Medical
Institution
Open to the public for treatment of Medical and Surgical cases.
Mount Hood Railroad
Kflnrllve Ijtfl A. M
Sunday. Kent. tL
1912
a. k.
Too"
t tin.
l.V.
8
40.
D
US.
HOOD RIVER, OREGON.
XI.
44.
n
10 40.
10 45
Hood River Ar
.
Poenlal
Swltihtwck
Van Horn
Muhr
Odell
Hmniiiit.
Bloiiclier
Wliutus
10 10.
io
NoJ
8TAT10NS
tiv
l.V
RATES ON APPLICATION
Cottage Hospital Assn.
::
No. I
H
Address
l itut
i tj i i i -- M
'
'
,
' '"
Wood worth
I'arkdale
::
...2
(10
'
1
60
4
.
.
1
...l as
"!!Trout riwii
Ar
10
..
,.1
..1
!W
1
(H
00
.1
.
V
A. WILSON,
Lv
.
..1
Agent
1
din-ne-
fH H i M H
HfHM
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
mm
i
Hint
Doesn't imelL Easy to Cent and take care
- t !?..
frnm rVslTe ffi rOOITl. fXO
j tuij iiwiu
Oj.
--.
nomical, inexpensive. Will last a lifetime.
JUk to S It At You
Foe Beat ReeulU
We Recommend
PoarlOil
aVoeMre
Oil Company
Standard(CALIFORNIA)
.jmmmmmm
?&iliiPtC.ffil
Me&for the Excellence;
Fitivvnr,W
:rLr!ftS
Situated in the Hub of the Principal Theater and Shopping District
Recently Redecorated and Refurnished Throughout, and
Better Equipped Today Than Ever Before.
EUROPEAN PLAN
r
Rooms, without bath, $1.00 per day and up
2.00 per day and up
Rooms', with bath, -
J.
N. K. CLARKE, Asst. Manager
Manager
G. KAUFMANN,
B. B. POWELL
F. B SSYDKR
Hood River Plumbing Co.
SANITARY PLUMBING
AND HEATING j& 4?
Tinning and Sheet Metal WorK. Gasoline Engines. Pumps, Rams. Repairing Promptly
Attended. Estimates Furnished.
Cor. 2nd
Phone 1544
&
Cascade, opp. Hotel Oregon
1
VM.
vA
if
'"'V
"1
'J
ij I
a.
i
jr
M
Mr
a
VMlAIEfc
TS
.
PRESENTS
if
IB,
.
.
K
$H
1
JC
lijr
Just the danuiesc, caicniest, most
ng "newJ' novelties imag- inable, especially imported
jJ
$ST
::m
Ueruiany
;
r .1
muu
roruana
r touring
1
l
m
and girls tUat g0 witl1
2jT& f "Olympic" Wheat Hearts
"
and
"Olym pic" Pancake Flour
I'll,
'i--
'n't '.
Ask your dealer about the new
f(,r ljoy
I
J.
i
. .
I 1
1 1 1 1 1
1- -1
Co.
PerU-n- d.
prone.
1
WOOD
of sandwiches and
homemade cakes and pies a
All kinds
1
!
1
!
I
M-t--
1 1 1 1
BRAND
SHOES
BALL BAND RUBBERS
II
I
11
1
r
k
Agency for Genuine
Rock Springs COAL
PHONC
None
Better
Hood River Shoe Man
COAL
A. C. Lofts
Supervised by Mrs. Smith
Oak St. opp. Kram Hardware Store
--
and
; ;
specialty. Good coffee and
soups.
B. B. SMITH, Prop.
IU IU
STAR
J. C J0IIN5EN, the
Lunch
Slabs-Fir-Oa-
GOOD BRAND
of shoes is safer to buy than
some unknown production,
no matter how much is claimed for it. The latter may be
all right and it may not.
That's why it is to your advantage to trade here. We
handle only standard merchandise that is backed by
reputation and has proved
its worthiness.
l M M 'M"l--
FOR SHORT ORDERS
1
A
London Globe.
Goto
Milwaukee, Wis.
Parkda!c,0re.,Phone0dell3l3i
aPSKtoke.
r,
Woman's Home Companion.
Northwestern Mutual
Life Insurance Co.
i
particularly
tVnerever there are children or old people it it
210,-47- 7
B. B s. Dairy
For the Hood River Valley
T&ERFECTIOM
a
Represents the
::
U no better heating device than the
fifty-fou-
John Goldsbury
! !
s
nun mi inn
therej
"that cold corner"
one-hal-
n
Flour
chilly cold dayi or for warmlne
On
cent administration
e
White River
For Real Solid Comfort
8464
SURVEYING
BLUE PRINTING
P. M. Morse
Heilbronner Bldg.
and
Hood River office for Newell,
Gossett & Walsh, Consulting
Engineers of Portland.
R. R.
Bartlett
ARCHITECT
HOOD RIVER, OREGON
Heilbronner Building
Phone
1391
MURRAY KAY
Civil Engineer and Surveyor
Brosius Building
J