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THE
DRAMA
MAGAZINE
FOR
YOUNG
PEOPLE
APRIL 2017
UPPER GRADES
Edelweiss Pirates. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Craig Sodaro
DRAMATIZED CLASSIC
(UPPER GRADES)
2
Hamlet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .William Shakespeare 13
Adapted by Lewy Olfson
MIDDLE
AND
LOWER GRADES
Gold Heist. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Michael Weems
Cinder-Rabbit. . . . . . . . . Constance Whitman Baher
Daring Dicey Langston, Patriot Spy
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Tara Wise Montgomery
The Baker’s Neighbor. . . . . . . . . . . . . . Adele Thane
23
28
35
41
Terms of Use • Vol. 76, No. 6
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Printed in U.S.A.
Plays
April 2017
The drama magazine for young people
In this issue. . .
Upper Grades
Edelweiss Pirates, by Craig Sodaro
10 actors: 7 female, 3 male; 30 minutes. Not everyone in pre-war Nazi
Germany supported Hitler’s rise to power, as seen in the efforts of gangs of
teenagers—the Edelweiss Pirates—to disrupt the movement and help Jews
escape persecution.
Hamlet, by William Shakespeare and adapted by Lewy Olfson
12 actors: 8 male, 2 female, 2 male/female; 25 minutes. Hamlet, Prince of
Denmark, avenges his father’s murder in this round-the-table reading that
includes the lines of one of Shakespeare’s most popular plays: “To be or not to
be”; “To sleep, perchance to dream—ay, there’s the rub!”; “Good night, sweet
Prince,” and more.
Middle and Lower Grades
Gold Heist, by Michael Weems
6 actors: 4 male, 1 female, 1 male/female; 20 minutes. Melodrama: Encouraged
by loud and frequent audience participation, all-around good guy stops the villain, unties the damsel from the train tracks, saves the gold, and shows that
good always triumphs over evil.
Cinder-Rabbit, by Constance Whitman Baher
12 actors: 5 female, 3 male, and 4 male/female; 25 minutes. A clever version of
the popular fairy tale, complete with rabbits, mean stepsisters, Easter baskets, Fairy Henmother, and broken egg shells that fit neatly together at the
end of the search.
Daring Dicey Langston, Patriot Spy, by Tara Wise Montgomery
7 actors: 5 male, 1 female, 1 male/female; 20 minutes. Fifteen-year-old South
Carolina farm girl bravely helps her family and the Colonial army fight the
British during the Revolutionary War.
The Baker’s Neighbor, by Adele Thane
10+ actors: 6 female, 3 male, and 1 male/female; 15 minutes. Peruvian folktale
in which a wise judge teaches a greedy baker a valuable lesson about being a
good neighbor. No, you can’t charge a customer for smelling the fresh-baked
pies!
APRIL 2017
1
Upper Grades
Edelweiss Pirates is protected by U.S. copyright
law. It is unlawful to use this play in any way
unless you are a current subscriber to PLAYS
Magazine (www.playsmagazine.com).
Edelweiss Pirates
Not everyone in pre-war Nazi Germany supported
Hitler’s rise to power, as seen in the efforts and
activities of a spirited group of young people. . . .
Characters
by Craig Sodaro
ILSE ACKERMANN, 18-year old
factory worker
DAGMAR ACKERMANN, her sister, 14
TRUDE ACKERMANN, their mother
MONIKA DUNKLE
LENZ SCHULER
POLDI VON ESSEN
Ilse’s friends
STEFFI JANSON, Ilse’s former friend
KONSTANZE JANSEN, her mother
HILDI MENDEL, seamstress
KONRAD KATZ, a Hitler Youth
SCENE 1
TIME: Fall, 1938.
SETTING: An alley in Cologne,
Germany, played before the curtain.
AT RISE: ILSE and MONIKA each
hold a can of paint and brush. They
face the audience and paint letters on
a “wall” in front of them. POLDI and
LENZ stand to one side laughing.
LENZ: They’re no Rembrandts, eh,
Poldi!
MONIKA: You could do better, Lenz?
POLDI: ’Course he could! His uncle’s a
housepainter!
Not all German teens and young adults fell under the spell of Hitler as the
Nazis rose to power. Loosely organized bands of young people, mostly workers in
low-paying jobs, harassed the Nazis and Hitler Youth as a constant reminder that
there were thousands who opposed the government. Because these young people
were German, they were tolerated as one would put up with a sliver in one’s hand.
However, several in Cologne were executed as examples to others, but this did little to stop the so-called Edelweiss Pirates from dressing outlandishly, singing
unpatriotic songs, picking fights with the Hitler Youth, and helping Jews and others escape. In 1988 Jerusalem’s Yad Vashem Holocaust Memorial recognized the
Edelweiss Pirates as “Righteous Among the Nations” for their courage.
AUTHOR’S NOTE
2
PLAYS • playsmagazine.com
ILSE: What does that have to do with
KONRAD: How can they do such
graffiti?
things?
brandt does! There! What do you think,
Ilse? (She steps back to admire the
work.)
Fuhrer!
MONIKA: About as much as Rem-
ILSE: That ought to make them mad!
LENZ (Taking ILSE’s can and brush):
Here, let me add a bit. (He “paints.”)
POLDI: See, Monika? I told you he’s got
painting in his blood.
MONIKA (Laughing): Beautiful, Lenz!
ILSE: Wait. . .you’ve made the fool too
handsome.
LENZ: You think so?
ILSE: Definitely! (LENZ adds brush
strokes to his work.)
POLDI: Perfect! Now he looks like a true
dunce! (Footsteps are heard off.)
MONIKA: Someone’s coming!
LENZ: Wait! We need to sign our names!
ILSE: C’mon, Pirate! (ILSE drags
LENZ off right, as MONIKA and
POLDI run off after them. A moment
later KONRAD, STEFFI, and KONSTANZE enter left.)
KONSTANZE: So, Konrad, you are
enjoying youth camp?
KONRAD: Very much, Frau Jansen.
And Steffi, you are doing well in the—
STEFFI: Look! (She points to words the
STEFFI: They’ve made fun of the
KONRAD (Reading): “Heil Dummkopf”!
How dare they?
KONSTANZE:
They dare because
they’re worthless riffraff. You see them
hanging around, wasting their lives
away.
KONRAD: They add nothing to the
national community but very shabby
artwork. But they’re playing with fire.
KONSTANZE: Aren’t they ever!
KONRAD: I must report this immediately, ladies. Good evening! (KONRAD
races off left.)
STEFFI: I want to go home, Mama. This
scares me!
KONSTANZE: I know, my darling. But
they will get theirs! (They exit right,
shaking their heads.)
***
SCENE 2
TIME: A short time later.
SETTING: Sitting room of the Acker-
mann house. A table center is set with
several chairs. Counter left holds dishes, bowls, and cookie jar. A small fireplace right has rocking chair nearby.
AT RISE: HILDI stands at left, wring-
ing a handkerchief in her hands. DAGMAR, ignoring her, reads a textbook at
the table. TRUDE enters right with a
small covered pot.
others had painted on the “wall.”)
TRUDE: Here we are, Hildi, some nice
punks!
HILDI: Oh, Trude, you are too generous.
KONSTANZE: Shameful! Those vile
APRIL 2017
soup.
3
I know you don’t have many extras
yourself.
TRUDE: What are friends for if you can’t
share with them?
HILDI: In better times I always tried to
return the favor. But as it is, my dressmaking skills are, how shall we say,
out of favor.
TRUDE: I’m sorry, Hildi. Truly.
HILDI: But no point complaining. I’ll see
myself out, and thank you for the soup.
(HILDI exits left.)
TRUDE: Poor woman.
DAGMAR: She’s probably got plenty of
reichsmarks hidden in her mattress.
TRUDE: Dagmar, you don’t know that!
DAGMAR: She’s one of them, isn’t she?
They’ve all got plenty of money.
TRUDE: She’s been a neighbor and good
friend for many years.
DAGMAR: According to our teacher,
you need to pick better friends. . . .Ilse
should have been home a while ago,
right, Mama?
TRUDE: She’s a big girl. She’s a worker.
She can stay out if she likes.
DAGMAR: Yes, history.
TRUDE: It doesn’t seem to have much to
do with history.
DAGMAR: You’re wrong, Mama. We are
history. We live at a glorious time
when the fatherland is rising.
TRUDE: How can you say such non-
sense?
DAGMAR:
Mama! (ILSE, LENZ,
MONIKA, and POLDI enter left,
laughing. ILSE carries the can of
paint still holding the brush.)
MONIKA: I can’t believe you actually
did that, Ilse! (Her friends laugh.)
LENZ: Oh, good evening, Frau Ackermann, Dagmar.
TRUDE: And to you.
DAGMAR: So what did you do that was
so funny, Ilse?
ILSE: Nothing. (Sets can on counter)
POLDI: Nothing? Walking home (Demonstrates the walk) we got right behind
one of the idiot boys in the Hitler Youth
and he was goose-stepping along like
he was really something.
DAGMAR: I’ll bet she’s causing trouble.
ILSE (Goose-stepping behind POLDI):
And I just fell in line goose-stepping
behind him.
DAGMAR: How would you answer this
the Hitler Youth, a responsible member of the national community?
TRUDE: Don’t say that!
question, Mama? (Reads) “What should
the national community do to those
who do not support the fatherland?”
TRUDE: That’s a question from your
textbook?
4
DAGMAR: So you insulted a member of
MONIKA: They insult us by their very
presence.
DAGMAR: I’m going to study in my
room! (DAGMAR exits with her book
right.)
PLAYS • playsmagazine.com
TRUDE: Ilse, you must be careful!
ILSE: We’re always careful, Mama.
LENZ: Besides, they won’t do anything
to us. We’re as much a part of the master race as they are.
POLDI: We just got stuck with the lousy
jobs.
MONIKA: And nothing else to do!
C’mon, gentlemen. . .walk me home.
LENZ: Good night!
ILSE: Be careful or run very fast!
(MONIKA, LENZ, and POLDI exit left.)
TRUDE: Don’t say that.
ILSE: I’m just kidding. I live by the
principle they don’t bother me and I
won’t bother them—much. (A knock off
left. They react with fear.)
TRUDE: We aren’t expecting anyone.
(TRUDE moves left, but ILSE stops
her.)
ILSE: I’ll see who it is. (ILSE exits left.
She returns a moment later followed
by KONRAD.)
KONRAD:
Good
evening,
Frau
Ackermann. Heil Hitler! (He salutes.)
TRUDE: Ilse, these are very dangerous
TRUDE: Yes, well, welcome, Konrad.
(DAGMAR enters left.)
ILSE: I know, Mama. We know better
salutes.)
times.
than most.
TRUDE: Your father tried to stand up to
them, and look what it got him.
ILSE: Three years hard labor for rally-
ing workers to demand better pay.
Ironic, isn’t it, that pay has since gone
up?
TRUDE: Thank goodness.
ILSE: Speaking of which, here are my
wages from the mill. (ILSE puts money
in cookie jar.)
TRUDE: Thank you, Ilse. (Nervously)
Dagmar has asked to join the Bund.
ILSE: That was only a matter of time,
wasn’t it?
TRUDE: It’s everything they learn in
school. They’re told it’s something a
good girl does.
ILSE: I guess I never was a good girl.
APRIL 2017
DAGMAR: Konrad! Heil Hitler! (She
KONRAD: I have brought the information you wanted on the Bund, Dagmar.
(From his pocket he pulls a folded
paper.) This tells where and when the
next meeting will be and many useful
facts. (DAGMAR takes the paper.)
DAGMAR: Thank you.
KONRAD: And how about you, Ilse? You
can make a positive contribution to our
national community by joining.
ILSE: No time, Konrad. I’m too busy
earning a pittance at the mill.
KONRAD: You have free time. Or do
you just want to hang around with
those sluggards who call themselves
“pirates”? (He touches the paint can.)
ILSE: They seem harmless.
KONRAD: They listen to English music
and American jazz. They smoke. They
hang around in cafés. They dress like
5
they’re going to a carnival. And worse
things—they paint lies on buildings,
and some have even attacked members
of the Hitler Youth!
DAGMAR: They should be sent away.
TRUDE: Dagmar!
ILSE: They just march to a different
drummer.
KONRAD: But in the new order we
must all march to the same drummer.
We march together to our destiny! Heil
Hitler! (KONRAD salutes.)
DAGMAR (Saluting): Heil Hitler!
(KONRAD spins around, exits left
briskly.) What’s wrong with you two?
Don’t you realize he can report you?
ILSE: Konrad wouldn’t have the guts.
KONSTANZE: We needed that uniform
two hours ago!
HILDI: I understand, and I apologize.
STEFFI: A lot of good that does! You people are always late because you’re so
lazy!
HILDI: Again, I apologize. Here is the
uniform. (She hands it to KONSTANZE, who inspects it.)
KONSTANZE: Hmm. . .these seams look
crooked.
HILDI: No, Frau Jansen, I have taken
care to make them as straight as possible. You can measure with a ruler.
KONSTANZE: I said they’re crooked.
And sloppy.
DAGMAR: But I might! (DAGMAR
HILDI: Then I will take fifteen percent
off the price.
TIME: The following day.
percent off the price! I’m not paying for
shoddy workmanship!
exits right as curtain falls.)
***
SCENE 3
SETTING A street in Cologne, played
before the curtain.
KONSTANZE: You’ll take one hundred
HILDI: But Frau Jansen, the alterations
have been done. You owe me my fee!
AT RISE: KONSTANZE and STEFFI
STEFFI: You heard Mother. You’re not
KONSTANZE: She said she would have
your uniform done two hours ago.
HILDI: That is theft! I’ll report you to
the authorities.
KONSTANZE: Well, we’ll see what the
problem is! (HILDI enters right carrying a skirt on a hanger. Sarcastically)
Goodness, Steffi! Look who’s here!
STEFFI: Or mine. (KONRAD enters left.)
enter left.
STEFFI: What do you expect, Mother?
HILDI: I’m so sorry, Frau Jansen. My
neighbor, she fell in the stairway and
needed help getting to the doctor.
6
getting a single reichsmark.
KONSTANZE: You’ll report us? Frau
Mendel, need I remind you who we are
and what you are? Don’t dare attempt
to pit your word against mine.
KONRAD: Having some trouble, ladies?
KONSTANZE: This seamstress wants to
report us, Herr Katz.
PLAYS • playsmagazine.com
KONRAD: Oh? Is that so?
STEFFI: She says we are stealing from
her.
HILDI: You refuse to pay for work I have
done!
KONSTANZE: It’s inferior work, not
worth a reichsmark.
KONRAD (To HILDI): Then they owe
you nothing.
HILDI: But how will I make enough to
live?
KONRAD: I wouldn’t worry about that.
If we have anything to say about it,
you’ll be moved out of this city before
too long and you’ll be somebody else’s
problem!
HILDI: Oh, no! (She crosses to left.) That
can’t happen. This is my home.
KONSTANZE: For the good of the
STEFFI: Just as you look very manly,
Konrad.
KONRAD (Proudly): I? Yes, well, I
imagine I do! (ILSE, LENZ, MONIKA,
and POLDI enter left, singing.)
PIRATES: Hitler’s power may lay us low/
And keep us locked in chains/ But we
will smash the chains one day!/ We will
be free again!
STEFFI: Ilse! How dare you!
KONRAD: Such songs are forbidden!
LENZ: What are you going to do,
Konrad?
POLDI: Report us? (PIRATES surround
KONRAD.)
KONRAD: Go about your business!
ILSE: Wouldn’t you like to march for us,
Konrad?
fatherland, it will happen! (HILDI
rushes off left.)
MONIKA: Show us how you strut.
less!
KONRAD: It’s all right, Steffi. I can han-
KONRAD: Worthless! They’re all worthKONSTANZE: I’ll just run along, Steffi.
STEFFI: You hoodlums! Leave him alone!
dle them!
You kids take your time. (KONSTANZE exits right after handing
STEFFI her uniform.)
LENZ: Let’s see you try! (He pushes
KONRAD.)
STEFFI: Ruined by that woman.
KONRAD: You’ll get it! You wait and
KONRAD: I see you have your uniform.
KONRAD: It doesn’t look so bad. It will
look fine on you.
STEFFI: Do you think so?
KONRAD: Of course! All girls look most
alluring in their uniforms.
APRIL 2017
POLDI: C’mon, Konrad! Not so tough
without your comrades, ha?
see! (KONRAD races off left. PIRATES
laugh.)
STEFFI: Stop it! You’re all horrible!
ILSE: But we’re good, solid Aryans.
MONIKA: Our blood is pure. How about
yours, Steffi? (STEFFI runs off right.)
7
ILSE: How pathetic!
MONIKA: They are, aren’t they?
ILSE: No, I mean the fact that our blood
TRUDE (As she pours tea): Would you
care for some, Dagmar? (DAGMAR
doesn’t answer.) Dagmar?
DAGMAR: You realize we’re breaking
is pure. We’re the right kind. Is that all
that matters to them?
the law.
POLDI: Yeah, I don’t mind being the
right kind. I’ve got a job, such as it is.
DAGMAR: I don’t mean the tea. (To
LENZ: It helps keep them off our backs.
ILSE: But all the others. . .what is happening to them?
MONIKA: Oh, forget it! What can we do
about it? About any of it?
ILSE (Brightly): Just be a royal pain in
their side! (She sings.) Hitler’s power
may lay us low. . .
PIRATES (Joining in, moving right):
And keep us locked in chains/ But we
will smash the chains one day!/ We will
be free again! (They exit right laughing. Curtain)
***
SCENE 4
TIME: The following day.
SETTING: Same as Scene 2.
AT RISE: HILDI sits at the table. DAG-
MAR sits opposite her. HILDI is nervous, smoothing the wrinkles in her
dress, playing with her necklace. DAGMAR occasionally flips a page in her
book in anger. After a minute or so,
TRUDE enters left right with a teapot
on a tray along with mugs.
TRUDE: Here we are, Hildi. Some nice,
hot tea will make you feel much better.
HILDI: I thank you for your optimism,
Trude.
8
TRUDE: Having tea with a friend is now
against the law?
HILDI) You’re putting us all in danger.
I hope you know that.
TRUDE: Dagmar!
HILDI: I am sorry, Dagmar. I’ll go.
TRUDE: No! No, you sit. We will have
tea. We will not speak any more of danger.
DAGMAR (Rising, grabbing her book):
You can’t ignore the truth, Mama! (She
exits right.)
TRUDE: Forgive her, Hildi. It is what
they’re learning in that school. How I
wish we could go back like before.
HILDI: Before we were afraid every
moment of every day? The Rosensteins
are gone, you know.
TRUDE: The family that lives across the
street from you?
HILDI (Nodding): They were home
when I left to deliver a wedding dress
to Frau Schleppin, and when I returned they were gone. I found these
on the front steps. (She pulls photos
from pocket, hands them to TRUDE.)
TRUDE: Photos. . .family photos.
(Trying to be cheerful) Maybe they
were just in such a hurry they dropped
them by accident and they’ll be glad to
see them when they return.
PLAYS • playsmagazine.com
HILDI: You don’t believe that, do you,
Trude?
TRUDE (After a pause; sighing): What
are we going to do?
HILDI: I don’t know! They will not come
for you, but for the likes of me.
TRUDE: Ilse did say she would help.
HILDI: How? What can Ilse do?
TRUDE: She has a lot of good friends,
friends who are not in the Hitler Youth
or the Bund. (TRUDE rises, moves
right to check and make sure DAGMAR is not listening, then returns to
the table. Almost a whisper) They
know a place where you can hide until
this is all over.
HILDI: Hide? Where can one hide?
TRUDE: Do you think everyone is in
their grasp? There are those who will
help.
HILDI: But I will endanger anyone kind
enough to-—(ILSE enters left.)
TRUDE: Oh, Ilse. We’ve just been having some tea.
ILSE: Good to see you, Frau Mendel.
You’re looking well.
HILDI: Thank you, Ilse.
TRUDE (To ILSE): Are you and your
friends ready for your camping trip?
ILSE: The boys are parking the car, and
I just needed to pick up some gear.
(She nods to HILDI.)
TRUDE: I’m sure you’ll have a wonder-
ful time in the woods.
HILDI: Where are you going camping?
APRIL 2017
ILSE: Wherever the road takes us. (A
knock at the door. Nervously they look
one to another.)
TRUDE: Why don’t you show Hildi my
new bedcover, Ilse. You’ll appreciate
the needlework. (ILSE takes HILDI off
right. TRUDE exits left and reenters
followed by KONSTANZE and STEFFI.)
KONSTANZE: Herr Gerst was sure
Hildi Mendel stopped here.
TRUDE: Well, yes, she did. She. . . she
picked up a skirt of Ilse’s. The hem had
come loose.
STEFFI (Sarcastically): And we wouldn’t want Ilse running around with a
droopy hem.
KONSTANZE: Now, be nice, Steffi.
Trude can’t help it if Ilse’s taste is a
bit—well, nonconformist.
TRUDE: Are you looking to have Hildi
sew you a new dress, Frau Jansen?
KONSTANZE: Oh, heavens, no! We go to
a true German seamstress now. But
the woman did do some work and I. . .
well, I didn’t have enough reichsmarks
to pay her and now I’d like to be sure
she gets her money. (KONSTANZE
walks around, looking the room over.)
TRUDE: That’s very thoughtful of you.
KONSTANZE: Isn’t it? So obviously she’s
not here now.
TRUDE: No, she. . .she left immediately.
(DAGMAR enters right.)
DAGMAR: Mother!
TRUDE: Oh, Dagmar, look who’s here.
STEFFI: Hi, Dagmar. What are you
doing?
9
DAGMAR: Studying the history of the
fatherland.
STEFFI: We’re having that lesson at the
Bund meeting this week, but I’ll wait
’til then to read up on it all.
KONSTANZE: Dagmar, you look a bit. . .
pale. Is anything wrong?
TRUDE: Dagmar’s had a bit of a
headache.
DAGMAR: It will pass. (A glance at
TRUDE) I hope.
STEFFI: It was probably the smell.
KONSTANZE: Who said anything about
her?
MONIKA: You wouldn’t be looking for a
man. What would Herr Jansen say?
(PIRATES laugh.)
KONSTANZE: That was very rude!
STEFFI: They’re always rude, Mama.
KONSTANZE: Yes, Steffi, well, I don’t
think worthless riffraff will be around
much longer.
LENZ: We’re not worthless. We work.
TRUDE: What smell?
POLDI: But right now it’s the start of
the weekend!
DAGMAR: Excuse me, but I need some
KONSTANZE: Boys and girls together,
for the weekend? Shameful!
STEFFI: Of that woman who stopped by
to pick up Ilse’s skirt. Horrible!
fresh air. (DAGMAR exits left.)
MONIKA: And we’re going camping.
KONSTANZE: Dagmar isn’t herself,
LENZ: And you never went off with a
fellow when you were young?
TRUDE: Perhaps it is.
POLDI: I think we look very handsome.
Trude. Hmm. . .must be a young man,
no?
KONSTANZE: All for the better. You
STEFFI: Not dressed like you!
The girls like it.
girls have a big responsibility to bring
more children into the national community.
MONIKA: You bet!
(LENZ, POLDI, and MONIKA enter
left.)
LENZ: And what do you stand for?
STEFFI: Don’t worry. We’ll do our part.
LENZ: Oh, hello, Frau Ackermann.
POLDI: We didn’t know you had compa-
STEFFI: Well, I don’t! You make fun of
everything we all stand for.
STEFFI: A strong Germany! A strong
fatherland! A strong national community!
TRUDE: Frau Jansen just dropped by
KONSTANZE and STEFFI: Heil Hitler!
(They salute. The others just flip their
hands up a bit, saying nothing.)
MONIKA: Any luck finding her?
Frau Jansen.
ny.
looking for someone.
10
TRUDE: It was nice of you to stop by,
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KONSTANZE: Frau Ackermann, you
should know better than to allow
these—these—well, for lack of a better
word, degenerates into your house. It is
dangerous and soon there will be laws.
You wouldn’t want to be reported for
consorting with those opposed to our
national goals. After all, your husband
has already been branded as a radical,
so you can be assured you are being
watched as well.
TRUDE: Thank you for the warning.
Good day.
KONSTANZE: Oh, and if you see Frau
Mendel, tell her we are looking for her.
. .and we will find her.
LENZ: Who is we?
KONSTANZE: She’ll know. Come, Steffi.
MONIKA: Goodbye, Steffi. Hope you
have fun at your Bund meeting tomorrow.
STEFFI: It will be enlightening and pos-
itive. (KONSTANZE and STEFFI exit
left. LENZ follows them left, making
sure they’re gone.)
POLDI: Is Frau Mendel here?
TRUDE: Yes, in the bedroom.
LENZ: We need to hurry.
MONIKA: But we’ve got to be careful.
You heard her. . .you’re being watched.
POLDI: We can’t go out the front.
TRUDE: The door opens to the yard and
from there into the alley. (TRUDE
moves right.) Ilse! Ilse!
LENZ: I can pull the car into the alley.
TRUDE: Yes, yes, that will do! (ILSE
APRIL 2017
and HILDI enter right.) It is time to go,
but they are watching.
HILDI: Please, I’ll go myself. I don’t want
you to get in trouble on my account.
ILSE: You’re coming camping with us.
HILDI: But if they see me—
TRUDE: They won’t. Lenz, there is a
large wicker hamper just beside the
door. It is full of old linens. Empty it.
(LENZ rushes off right.) This will be
difficult, Hildi, but once the hamper is
empty, get in it.
ILSE: Of course!
MONIKA: If anyone notices, they’ll just
think it’s camping gear.
TRUDE: Exactly.
HILDI: Where will we go? What will I
do?
POLDI: My uncle has a farm in the
country. We will take you there. His
friends will help you then.
HILDI: What has happened that it
should all come to this? (LENZ enters
right.)
LENZ: Ready!
TRUDE: Then go! And God go with you,
Hildi. (HILDI hugs TRUDE, exits
right.) Have a good weekend, kids.
MONIKA: See you Sunday night. (She,
POLDI, and LENZ exit right.)
TRUDE: Ilse, please be careful.
ILSE: The Edelweiss Pirates are always
careful, Mama! (ILSE races off right as
DAGMAR and KONRAD enter left.)
11
KONRAD: Heil Hitler! (TRUDE has
been facing right, but turns suddenly
left, frightened.)
TRUDE: Konrad, Dagmar. (KONRAD
prowls about the room menacingly.)
KONRAD: I am afraid criminal activity
has been going on in this house.
TRUDE (Nervously): Oh, no. No, we have
done. . .nothing, have we, Dagmar?
KONRAD: Not from what I have seen.
And Dagmar is the last one to answer
that question.
TRUDE: Just what have you seen?
KONRAD: I have seen Dagmar outside
smoking a cigarette.
TRUDE: Dagmar, is this true?
KONRAD: Smoking is unhealthy. Girls
in the Bund are expected to take care of
their health so they can raise healthy
children and create happy homes.
Smoking is a very bad habit.
DAGMAR: I smoked only one cigarette,
Mama.
TRUDE: It seems some people have very
big eyes and not enough to do with
their time.
KONRAD: All our eyes need to be big
KONRAD: Yes, and I imagine they will
smoke a good deal and sing their
degenerate songs.
TRUDE: They are young and will have
fun. You are young, too, Konrad. Don’t
you have any fun?
KONRAD: Yes, by making sure others
don’t have too much. Heil Hitler! (He
salutes.)
TRUDE: Goodbye, Konrad.
KONRAD: Dagmar, no more cigarettes.
(She shakes her head. He bows slightly, exits left.)
DAGMAR: Are they gone?
TRUDE: Yes.
DAGMAR: Good.
TRUDE: Dagmar, why were you smoking? You have never—
DAGMAR: Because Konrad was just
about to knock on the door. I saw Frau
Jansen and Steffi speak to him, and
I’m sure he was going to barge in and
I—I didn’t. . .oh, I couldn’t think of any
other way to keep him busy. (TRUDE
embraces DAGMAR.)
TRUDE: Thank you, Dagmar. You are
very brave.
and our time must be spent guarding
against. . .how shall we say, degeneration?
DAGMAR: I don’t want to be brave!
mation, Konrad.
DAGMAR: If. What a terrible word. If.
(The curtain falls.)
TRUDE: Well, I thank you for this inforDAGMAR: Is Ilse home?
TRUDE: No, she and her friends have
gone camping for the weekend.
12
TRUDE: But we must if we are to survive.
THE END
(Production Notes on page 47)
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This adaptation of Hamlet is protected by
U.S. copyright law. It is unlawful to use
this play in any way unless you are a current subscriber to PLAYS Magazine
(www.playsmagazine.com).
Dramatized Classic
(Upper Grades)
Hamlet
The Prince of Denmark avenges his father’s death in
this round-table reading of William Shakespeare’s
classic tragedy. . . .
Characters
Adapted by Lewy Olfson
HORATIO
BERNARDO
KING CLAUDIUS
PRINCE HAMLET
QUEEN GERTRUDE
LAERTES
OPHELIA
POLONIUS
GHOST OF HAMLET’S FATHER
A PLAYER
A SERVANT
NARRATOR
NARRATOR: Against the bleak, forbid-
ding stone walls of Elsinore, the royal
castle in Denmark, William Shakespeare unfolded his immortal drama,
Hamlet. Here are the tragic events that
form the backdrop for the play: Learning
of his father’s sudden death, young
prince Hamlet returns to the castle from
Wittenberg, where he has been at school.
The late king’s brother, Claudius, has
ascended the throne, and married the
Queen, Hamlet’s mother.
APRIL 2017
This marriage robs Hamlet of his confidence in his mother, and leaves him alone
in his grief. A rumor that the late king’s
ghost has been seen before the castle
gates only deepens the young prince’s
melancholy and isolation. (Pauses) As the
play begins, it is midnight, and Bernardo,
a sentinel, is keeping watch. Suddenly,
Horatio, Hamlet’s closest friend, appears.
HORATIO: Who’s there?
BERNARDO: Nay, answer me. What, is
Horatio there?
HORATIO: A piece of him.
BERNARDO: Welcome, Horatio.
HORATIO: What! Has this thing
appear’d again tonight?
BERNARDO: I have seen nothing, yet I
still believe it.
HORATIO: Nay, Bernardo, ’tis your
fantasy.
I will not let belief take hold of me,
Touching this dreaded sight.
BERNARDO: Peace! Break thee off!
Look where it comes again!
13
HORATIO: In the same figure, like the
king that’s dead!
BERNARDO: Speak to’t, Horatio. It
would be spoke to.
HORATIO: What art thou that usurp’st
this time of night,
Together with the fair and warlike form
In which the majesty of buried Denmark
Did sometimes march? By heaven, I
charge thee, speak.
BERNARDO: It is offended; see, it
stalks away.
How now, Horatio! You tremble, and
look pale.
Is it not like the king?
HORATIO: As thou art to thyself!
BERNARDO: It was about to speak
when the cock crew.
And then it started, like a guilty thing,
And faded on the crowing of the cock.
HORATIO: But look! The morn in russet
mantle clad
Walks o’er the dew of yon high eastern
hill.
Break we our watch up. Let us impart
What we have seen tonight unto young
Hamlet.
This spirit, dumb to us, will speak to him.
NARRATOR: Thus, Horatio, convinced
that he has seen the ghost of the dead
king, resolves to tell young Hamlet of
it. The following morning, Hamlet
attends the King, his Uncle Claudius,
and the Queen, his mother, in a room
of state in the castle.
KING: Though yet of Hamlet our dear
brother’s death
The memory be green in all our hearts,
Yet so far hath discretion fought with
nature
That we with wisest sorrow think on
him,
14
Together with remembrance of ourselves.
Therefore our sometime sister, now our
queen,
Have we, as ’twere with a defeated joy,
Taken to wife. Nor have we herein barr’d
Your better wisdoms, which have freely
gone,
With this affair along. For all, our thanks.
But now, my cousin Hamlet, and my son...
HAMLET (Aside): A little more than
kin, and less than kind.
KING: How is it that the clouds still
hang on you?
HAMLET: Not so, my lord; I am too
much i’ the sun.
QUEEN: Good Hamlet, cast thy knight-
ed color off,
And let thine eye look like a friend on
Denmark.
Do not forever with thy vailed lids
Seek for thy noble father in the dust.
Thou know’st ’tis common; all that
lives must die.
HAMLET: Ay, mother, it is—“common.”
QUEEN: If it be,
Why seems it so particular with thee?
HAMLET: “Seems,” madam! Nay, it is!
I know not “seems.”
’Tis not alone my solemn cloak, good
mother,
No, nor the fruitful river in the eye,
Together with all forms, modes, shows
of grief,
That can denote me truly; these indeed
“seem,”
For they are actions that a man might
play;
But I have that within which passeth
show;
These but the trappings and the suits
of woe.
KING: ’Tis sweet to mourn your buried
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father, Hamlet, but to persever in obstinate condolement,
’Tis unmanly grief. We pray you, think
of us
As of a father. And for your intent
In going back to school in Wittenberg,
It is most retrograde to our desire.
Ere yet the salt of most unrighteous
tears
Had left the flushing in her eyes, she
married.
It is not nor it cannot come to good!
But break, my heart, for I must hold
my tongue.
QUEEN: Let not thy mother lose her
NARRATOR: As Hamlet sits lost in
HAMLET: I shall in all my best obey
you, madam.
HAMLET: Horatio! What make you
This gentle and unforc’d accord of Hamlet.
Sits smiling to my heart. Come all, away.
HORATIO: My lord, I came to see your
father’s funeral.
to private, brooding thoughts.
mother’s wedding.
prayers, Hamlet: I pray thee, stay with us.
KING: Why, ’tis a loving and a fair reply.
NARRATOR: Alone, Hamlet gives way
HAMLET: O, that this too too solid flesh
would melt,
Thaw, and resolve itself into a dew!
Or that the Everlasting had not fix’d
His canon ’gainst self-slaughter!
O God! O God!
How weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable
Seems to me all the uses of this world.
But two months dead! Nay, not so
much, not two!
So excellent a king; that was, to this,
Hyperion to a satyr! So loving to my
mother!
Heaven and earth! Why must I
remember?
Why, she, his lady queen, would hang
on him
As if increase of appetite had grown
By what it fed on; and yet, within a
month—Let me not think on’t. Frailty, thy
name is “woman.”
O God! A beast that wants discourse of
reason
Would have mourn’d longer. Married
with mine uncle,
My father’s brother! But no more like
my father
Than I to Hercules. Within a month!
APRIL 2017
thought, Horatio comes to tell him of
the appearance of his father’s ghost.
from Wittenberg?
HAMLET: I think it was to see my
HORATIO: Indeed, my lord, it follow’d
hard upon.
HAMLET: Thrift, thrift, Horatio! The
funeral baked meats
Did coldly furnish forth the marriage
tables.
Would I had met my dearest foe in
Heaven
Ere I had seen that day, Horatio!
My father, methinks I see my father
In my mind’s eye.
HORATIO: Hamlet, I think I saw him
yesternight.
HAMLET: Saw? Who?
HORATIO: My lord, the king your
father.
HAMLET: The king my father! For
God’s love, let me hear.
HORATIO: Two nights together had the
men at watch
Been thus encounter’d: a figure, like
your father, appears before them,
And with solemn march,
15
Goes slow and stately by them. This to
me
In dreadful secrecy impart they did;
And I with them the third night kept
the watch;
Where, as they had deliver’d, even so,
The apparition comes. I knew your
father;
These hands are not more like.
HAMLET: Did you not speak to it?
HORATIO: My lord, I did. But answer
made it none.
HAMLET: ’Tis very strange.
HORATIO: As I do live, my honor’d lord,
’tis true.
HAMLET: I would I had been there.
I’ll watch tonight. Perchance ’twill
walk again.
HORATIO: I warrant it will come again.
HAMLET: If it assume my noble
father’s person,
I’ll speak to it though hell itself should
gape
And bid me hold my peace. So fare you
well.
Upon the platform, ’twixt eleven and
twelve, I’ll visit you.
HORATIO: My duty to your honor.
HAMLET: Your love, as mine to you.
Farewell.
My father’s spirit abroad! All is not well.
I doubt some foul play. Would the
night were come!
Till then, sit still, my soul. Foul deeds
will rise,
Though all the earth o’erwhelm them,
to men’s eyes.
NARRATOR: Elsewhere in the castle,
Laertes, a schoolmate of Hamlet’s,
prepares to return to Wittenberg. He
16
is the son of Polonius, and brother of
Ophelia, a beautiful young girl to
whom Hamlet has paid court. Having
prepared himself for the journey,
Laertes takes his leave of his sister.
LAERTES: Farewell, Ophelia. Let me
hear from you.
For Hamlet, and the trifling of his favor,
Hold it a fashion and a toy in blood.
Perhaps he loves you now, but you
must fear.
His greatness weighed, his will is not
his own.
He may not, as unvalued persons do,
Carve for himself.
OPHELIA: I shall the effect of this good
lesson keep
As watchman to my heart.
LAERTES: I stay too long. But here my
father comes.
POLONIUS: Yet here, Laertes! Abroad,
abroad, for shame!
The ship awaits. There—my blessing
with thee.
And these few precepts in thy memory,
See thou character. Give thy thoughts
no tongue,
Nor any unproportion’d thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.
Give every man thine ear, but few thy
voice;
Take each man’s censure, but reserve
thy judgment.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true;
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell! My blessing season this in
thee!
LAERTES: Most humbly do I take my
leave, my lord.
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Farewell, Ophellia; and remember well
What I have said.
Speak, I pray.
memory locked.
And you yourself shall keep the key of it.
HAMLET: I will. Speak; I am bound to hear.
OPHELIA (Calling after him): ’Tis in my
POLONIUS: What is it, Ophelia, he has
said to you?
OPHELIA: So please you, something
touching the Lord Hamlet.
POLONIUS: Marry, well bethought!
’Tis told me he hath very oft of late
Given private time to you.
What is between you? Give me up the
truth.
OPHELIA: He hath, my lord, of late made
many tenders of his affection to me.
POLONIUS: Affection! Pooh! You speak
like a green girl.
Do you believe his “tenders,” as you
call them?
OPHELIA: I do not know, good father,
what to think.
POLONIUS: I would not, in plain terms,
from this time forth
Have you so slander any moment’s
leisure
As to give words or talk with the Lord
Hamlet.
Look to’t, I charge you. Come your ways.
OPHELIA: I shall obey, my lord.
NARRATOR: That night, Hamlet
accompanies Horatio to the place
where the apparition had been seen.
Once again, the ghost of the dead king
appears, but refuses to speak, seeming
to fear Horatio’s presence. The ghost
beckons Hamlet away; and the young
prince resolves to follow.
HAMLET: Whither wilt thou lead me?
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GHOST (In sepulchral tones): Mark me!
GHOST: So art thou to revenge, when
thou shalt hear!
HAMLET: What?
GHOST: I am thy father’s spirit,
Doom’d for a certain time to walk the
night.
List! If thou didst thy father love—
Revenge his foul and most unnatural
murder.
HAMLET: Murder! Haste me to know’t!
GHOST: Now, Hamlet, hear:
’Tis given out that sleeping in my
orchard,
A serpent stung me. But know, thou
noble youth,
The serpent that did sting thy father’s life
Now wears his crown.
HAMLET: My uncle murdered thee?
GHOST: Brief let me be. Sleeping with-
in my orchard,
Upon my secure hour thy uncle stole,
With juice of cursed hebenon in a vial,
Which in the porches of mine ears he
poured.
Thus was I, sleeping, by a brother’s
hand
Of life, of crown, of queen, at once dispatch’d.
If thou hast nature in thee, bear it not!
Revenge me, Hamlet. I will be avenged!
But, howsoever thou pursuest this act,
Taint not thy mind, nor let thy soul
contrive
Against thy mother aught; leave her
to heaven.
Fare thee well at once, my noble son.
The glow-worm shows the morning to
be near.
17
Adieu! Adieu! Hamlet, remember me!
HAMLET: Remember thee?
Yea, from the table of my memory,
I’ll wipe away all trivial fond records,
And thy commandment, all alone,
shall live
Within the book and volume of my brain.
The time is out of joint; O cursed spite,
That ever I was born to set right.
NARRATOR: A strolling troupe of actors
comes to the castle, and through them,
Hamlet perceives a way to discover if
the ghost has spoken truly. He arranges with the master of the players
to put on a play that will imitate the
late king’s death, and by watching the
expression on his uncle’s face during
the play, he will determine his guilt.
HAMLET: Welcome, actors. We’ll hear
a play tomorrow. Till then, you all will
be well bestowed. Tell me, can you
play “The Murder of Gonzago”?
PLAYER: Ay, my lord.
HAMLET: We’ll ha’t tomorrow night.
You could, for a need, study a speech
of some dozen or sixteen lines which I
would set down and insert in’t, could
you not?
PLAYER: Ay, my lord.
HAMLET: Very well, good friend. I’ll
leave you tonight. Now I am alone.
O, what rogue and peasant slave am I!
Is it not monstrous that this player here,
But in a fiction, in a dream of passion,
Could force his soul so to his own conceit
That from her working all his visage
wann’d,
Tears in his eyes, distraction in’s aspect,
A broken voice, and his whole function
suiting
With forms to his conceit? And all for
nothing!
What would he do had he the cue for
18
passion that I have!
He would drown the stage
with tears,
And cleave the general ear with horrid
speech,
Make mad the guilty and appall the free.
Yet I, a dull and muddy-mettled rascal,
Peak and can say nothing!
No, not for a king,
Upon whose property and most dear life
A damn’d defeat was made. Am I a coward?
Why, what an ass am I! This is most
brace,
That I, the son of a dear father murder’d,
Prompted to my revenge by heaven and
hell,
Must unpack my heart with words.
About, my brain! Hmm. I have heard
That guilty creatures sitting at a play
Have by the very cunning of the scene
Been struck so to the soul that presently
They have proclaim’d their malefactions.
Before mine uncle, I shall have these
players
Play something like the murder of my
father.
I’ll observe his looks. If he but blench,
I’ll know the course to take. The play’s
the thing,
Wherein I’ll catch the conscience of the
king!
NARRATOR: Hamlet has been pretending
madness in order to be left alone with
his brooding, melancholy thoughts. The
king wonders what has caused his
nephew’s insanity, and his chamberlain,
Polonius, tells him it is unrequited love
for Ophelia. The afternoon following the
arrival of the company of actors, the
king and Polonius hide in a gallery from
which they can observe a meeting
between Hamlet and Ophelia. Hamlet,
unaware that Ophelia has been told to
wait for him, is lost in thought.
HAMLET: To be or not to be, that is the
question:
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Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous
fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And, by opposing, end them. To die, to
sleep;
To sleep? Perchance to dream! Ay,
there’s the rub!
For in that sleep of death what dreams
may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal
coil,
Must give us pause. There’s the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and
scorns of time,
The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s
contumely,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels
bear,
But that the dread of something after
death,
Makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of
us all.
But stay, what lady’s here? Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia? Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remembered.
OPHELLIA: Good my lord,
How does your honor for this many a day?
HAMLET: I humbly thank you, well.
OPHELIA: My lord, I have remem-
brances of yours
That I have longed long to redeliver.
I pray you now receive them.
HAMLET: Are you honest? Are you fair?
OPHELIA: What means your lordship?
HAMLET: I did love you once.
OPHELIA: Indeed, you made me believe so.
HAMLET:
APRIL 2017
You
should
not
have
believed. I loved you not!
OPHELIA: I was the more deceived!
HAMLET: We are arrant knaves, all.
None believe of us. Get thee to a nunnery, go! Farewell. Or, if thou wilt
needs marry, marry a fool. For wise
men know well enough what monsters
you make of them. To a nunnery, go,
and quickly too! Farewell!
OPHELIA: O heavenly powers, restore him!
O, what a noble mind is here o’erthrown.
The courtier’s, soldier’s, scholar’s, eye,
tongue, sword,
The observ’d of all observers, quite,
quite down.
And I, of ladies most deject and wretched.
POLONIUS: How now, Ophelia!
You need not tell us what Lord Hamlet
said;
We heard it all. Yet do I believe
The origin and commencement of his grief
Sprung from neglected love, your majesty.
KING: Ay, my good Polonius, so it seems.
POLONIUS: My lord, after the play he
gives tonight,
Let his mother all alone entreat him,
And I’ll be plac’d, so please you, in the ear
Of all their conference.
KING: It shall be so. Madness in great
ones must not unwatch’d go.
NARRATOR: That night, the unsuspect-
ing king and queen attend a performance by the strolling players. The
action of the play, however, so closely
parallels the murder of the late king,
that Claudius and his queen become
frightened with guilt, and call a stop
to the performance. After the play, the
queen sends for Hamlet, wishing to
speak with him alone in her chamber.
Unknown to the young prince,
Polonius has conspired with her to
19
hide behind a tapestry and listen.
QUEEN: The king!
me e’en here.
Pray you, be round with him.
HAMLET: Thou wretched, rash, intrud-
POLONIUS: Your majesty: I’ll silence
QUEEN: I shall, Polonius.
HAMLET: Mother! Mother!
QUEEN: Withdraw, Polonius. I hear
him coming.
POLONIUS: Ay, majesty, I’ll stand
behind this drape.
QUEEN: Fear me not. But soft, here
comes the prince.
HAMLET: Mother, what’s the matter?
QUEEN: Hamlet, thou hast thy father
much offended.
HAMLET: Mother, you have my father
much offended.
QUEEN: Come, come! You answer with
an idle tongue.
HAMLET: Go, go! You question with a
wicked tongue.
Come, come, and sit you down. You
shall not budge!
QUEEN: What wilt thou do? Thou wilt
Nay, ’tis his chamberlain, Polonius!
ing fool! Farewell!
I took thee for thy better. Good night,
my mother.
I must be cruel only to be kind;
Thus bad begins, and worse remains
behind.
NARRATOR: And so Polonius is killed
by Hamlet. Upon hearing of her
father’s death, Ophelia loses her sanity. She asks to visit the queen.
QUEEN: Let her come in.
OPHELIA: Where is the beauteous
majesty of Denmark?
QUEEN: How now, Ophelia?
OPHELIA (In a sing-song):
He is dead and gone, lady,
He is dead and gone;
At his head a grass-green turf,
At his heels a stone.
KING: My lady queen. . .
QUEEN: Alas, look here, my lord.
KING: How do you do, pretty lady?
POLONIUS: What ho! Help! Help! Help!
OPHELIA: Well, God ’ild you. They say
the owl was a baker’s daughter. Lord!
We know what we are, but know not
what we may be. God be at your table.
the arras? Why then, I’ll draw, and
kill the listening rat.
OPHELIA: I hope all will be well. We
not murder me? Help, help, ho!
HAMLET: What is this? A rat behind
POLONIUS: O, I am slain!
QUEEN: What hast thou done? What
bloody deed is this?
HAMLET: Nay, I know not. Is it the king?
20
KING: How long hath she been thus?
must be patient!
KING: Follow her close; give her good
watch, I pray you, servant.
SERVANT: Ay, majesty.
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KING: Oh, Gertrude, Gertrude. When
sorrows come,
They come not single spies, but in battalions.
SERVANT (Breathlessly): Your majes-
ties, I bid you save yourselves.
The young Laertes, son of dead Polonius,
That would revenge his loving father’s
death,
O’erbears your officers. The rabble call
him lord.
They cry, “Choose we; Laertes shall be
king!”
QUEEN: Oh, this is counter, you false
Danish dogs!
prince. News that Ophelia, in her
madness and grief, has drowned herself, only confirms his evil intent. The
king arranges a fencing match
between Hamlet and Laertes, in
which Laertes will fight with a poisoned foil. On the appointed day, the
two meet before the assembled court
for preliminaries of shaking hands,
choosing weapons, and the duel itself.
KING: Come, Hamlet, take Laertes’
hand from me.
HAMLET: Give me your pardon, Laertes.
I’ve done you wrong,
But pardon’t, as you are a gentleman.
KING: The doors are broke!
LAERTES: I do receive your offered love
king, Give me my father!
KING: Give them the foils, young
LAERTES: Where’s my father?
another.
LAERTES (Furiously): O thou vilest
QUEEN: Calmly, good Laertes.
KING: Dead.
QUEEN: But not by him!
LAERTES: How came he dead? I’ll not
be juggled with!
Let come what comes, only I’ll be
revenged
Most thoroughly for my father.
KING: Good Laertes, that I am guiltless
of your father’s death,
And am most sensibly in grief for it,
It shall as level to your judgment pierce,
As day does to your eye. Come, go with
me;
And as we walk, I shall disclose a plan
By which you shall revenge your
father’s death.
NARRATOR:
With clever words,
Claudius turns Laertes’ wrath against
Hamlet, and persuades him to kill the
APRIL 2017
like love, and will not wrong it.
Osric.
LAERTES: This is too heavy. Let me see
HAMLET: This likes me well. These
foils have all a length?
KING: Ay. Come. Let the duel begin.
And you, the judges, bear a wary eye.
HAMLET: Come on, sir.
LAERTES: Come, my lord.
HAMLET: One!
LAERTES: No!
HAMLET: Judgment.
HORATIO: A hit, a very palpable hit.
LAERTES: Well; again.
KING: Stay; give me drink. Hamlet,
here’s to thy health.
21
NARRATOR: The king holds up a cup of
poisoned wine, and, after pretending
to drink from it, offers it to Hamlet.
HAMLET: I’ll play this bout first; set it
by awhile. Come!
QUEEN: I drink this wine to thy good
fortune, Hamlet.
HAMLET: Good madam!
KING: Gertrude, do not drink!
QUEEN: I will, my lord. I pray you pardon me.
The drink! O my dear Hamlet!
The drink! The drink! I am poisoned.
HAMLET: O villainy! Treachery! Seek
it out!
LAERTES: It is here, Hamlet. Hamlet,
thou art slain.
In thee there is not half an hour of life.
The treacherous instrument is in thy
hand,
Unbated and envenom’d. The foul practice
Hath turned itself on me. Thy mother’s
poisoned.
I can no more. The king’s to blame!
you but dally.
HAMLET: The point envenom’d too!
Then, venom, kill!
Here, thou murderous, damned uncle.
Follow my mother to an early death.
Thus, with this poisoned foil, I murder
thee.
NARRATOR: Laertes rushes in upon
me, noble Hamlet,
Mine and my father’s death come not
upon thee, nor thine on me. (Gasps)
KING (Aside): It is the poisoned cup! It
is too late!
HAMLET: Come, for the third, Laertes;
LAERTES: Say you so? Come on. Have
at you—now!
Hamlet and wounds him. Each seizes
the other’s wrist, and in the scuffle,
they exchange weapons. Hamlet,
unaware that he is holding a poisoned
foil—indeed that he has been stabbed
by it—wounds Laertes.
KING: Part them! They are incens’d.
HORATIO: They bleed on both sides.
How is it, Hamlet?
KING: How is it, Laertes?
LAERTES: Why, I am justly killed with
mine own treachery.
HAMLET: How does the queen?
KING: She swoons to see them bleed.
QUEEN (Gasping): No, no, the drink!
22
LAERTES: Exchange forgiveness with
HAMLET: Heaven make thee free of it!
I follow thee.
Horatio, I am dead. Thou only, livest.
Report my cause aright to the unsatisfied.
O good Horatio, what a wounded name,
Things standing thus unknown, shall
live behind me!
If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart,
Absent thee from felicity awhile,
And in this harsh world draw thy
breath in pain,
To tell my story. O, I die, Horatio!
The potent poison quite o’ercrows my
spirit.
The rest is. . .silence.
HORATIO: Now cracks a noble heart!
Good night, sweet prince,
And flights of angels sing thee to thy
rest.
THE END
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Gold Heist is protected by U.S. copyright law.
It is unlawful to use this play in any way
unless you are a current subscriber to PLAYS
Magazine (www.playsmagazine.com).
Middle Grades
Gold Heist
Encouraged by a lot of fun and loud audience partici-
pation, all-around good guy stops the villain, saves the
day, and shows that good always triumphs over evil.
Characters
by Michael Weems
BIG BILL (or BETTY), narrator
SHERIFF TEX
JOE, Tex’s sidekick
SARAH, damsel
HANDSOME HANK, villain
RUFUS, Hank’s sidekick
SCENE 1
TIME: The Old West.
SETTING: Train station. There are a
couple of benches, and backdrop may
show schedules, etc. Tracks are laid
out across stage.
AT RISE: BIG BILL enters, sits on
bench, doesn’t notice audience at
first. He checks a pocketwatch and
puts it to his ear to make sure it’s
working, then suddenly notices the
audience.
BIG BILL: Oh, don’t mind me. Jus’ waitin’ for the two-thirty out to Santa Fe.
Yep. Suppose if you got a ticket y’all can
come along. Might be a little crowded,
APRIL 2017
but that’s all right. The trip is worth it.
You get to see new people, places. I
hear the sun sets a little later out west.
Supposed to be redder, too. Supposin’
that’s the desert and all. Me? Gonna
get me a little cabin on a crick and just
fish and read. Sounds nice, right? Twothirty’s just a hair late. Trains are
finicky things, you know. Sometimes
they run outta coal. Or maybe one of
them spikes on the track gets raised
outta the ground and they gotta tamp
it back in. Or sometimes—well, I won’t
bore you with this ol’ story I got. Who
am I kidding? Of course you want to
hear it! See, this little town you and me
live in wasn’t always this busy and
bustling. A few years back there was
just a few train tracks in and outta
town, some stagecoaches, that’s it,
really. On this particular day, a big ol’
storm was rollin’ in. While us regular
folk were scramblin’ to get provisions,
a certain, well I don’t know if we can
rightly call him a gentleman, let’s just
say a certain feller had other plans in
mind. (HANDSOME HANK enters.)
That’s the feller right there! (HANDSOME HANK mugs and glares at the
crowd.) Boooooo! (BILL waves to the
audience.) Y’all can join me! Booooooo.
23
HANDSOME HANK: Oh, knock it off!
(Yells offstage) Rufus! Get ’em out here.
Time is ticking, my friend! (RUFUS
enters leading SARAH and JOE. Both
are tied up. RUFUS starts to lay them
down on the train tracks.)
BILL: Booooooo! (BILL encourages
audience.) Come on! Booooooo!
RUFUS: That’s not very nice.
HANK: You get used to it. Oh, what a
glorious day! These simple little townsfolk are scrambling for supplies and
that goody two shoes, Tex, is nowhere
in sight.
RUFUS: You think he’s gonna come
lookin’ for his girl and his sidekick?
HANK: Of course he will, fool. When he
realizes they’re missing, we’ll be a hundred miles away! It’s a shame. Such a
pretty girl. Such a dutiful, loyal sidekick. Alas, not my concern!
BILL: Hisssssss! (BILL gestures for
audience to join in.) Hisssssss! Booooo!
RUFUS: They’re hissing too? Man, we
must be real bad guys.
HANK: They’re just jealous, Rufus.
They’ve just met two of the most handsome, strong, and soon-to-be-rich train
robbers ever!
SARAH: I hear that the only gal who
calls him handsome is his Mama.
HANK: I heard that!
JOE: Must not be very smart, either.
You do realize the train ain’t stopping
here today? It’s Sunday. Just gonna roll
through and come back next week.
SARAH: Yeah. You cain’t rob a movin’
train! Fool.
24
HANK: It just so happens the conductor
is a close friend of mine.
RUFUS: It’s his Mama.
HANK: Fool! So what? So she knows
just when and where to stop. She stops
short of these two, we load up the coach
with the gold and ride on to glory!
SARAH: Then why tie us up if you’re
just gonna run us over?
HANK: I’d never want to hurt you, love!
By the time that meddling Tex realizes
you’re gone, this will buy us a few more
minutes on the getaway! The perfect
plan! Mwahaha! (To BILL) You. What
time is it?
BILL: I ain’t tellin’.
JOE: You got ’bout ten minutes ’fore the
train rolls in.
RUFUS: Much obliged.
HANK: Rufus, let’s get the horses ready.
(To JOE and SARAH) You two. . .don’t
go anywhere. (They laugh as they exit.)
SARAH: Darn it, Joe!
JOE: He’s right. This is the perfect plan.
He’s gonna get away and Tex is gonna
see me fit to be tied. (JOE realizes what
he’s said.) Well, untied and then tied.
You know what I mean! Shouldn’t Tex be
here by now? He always saves the day.
SARAH: I hate to admit it, Joe. You’re
right. Storms a’brewin’. Train’s a
comin’. I got this itch right behind my
ear that’s driving me mad. Can you
help? (JOE attempts to help SARAH
with her itch. This goes on for a while
and is awkward with them both tied
up. Eventually they both give up and lie
still.) Oh, forget it! Tex, where are you?
***
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SCENE 2
AT RISE: BIG BILL is sitting on
bench. SARAH and JOE are still on
the tracks.
BILL: Things ain’t lookin’ so hot, huh?
Lessee. When we left off we had a
deputy and the hero’s gal tied to the
train tracks. We got us a coupla nogoodniks fixin’ to rob a train and hightail it outta here. Us town folks is
scrambling to get supplies and hunker
down for a big ol’ squall. And our hero
Tex is nowhere in sight. To call things
bleak would be an understatement. I’d
toss in depressing, scary, and frustrating, too! So let’s set the scene again,
right? We’ve got Joe, the deputy, and
Sarah, the girl tied to the train tracks.
SARAH (To BILL): Don’t you think you
could help us with these ropes? (BILL
crosses over. He tries.)
BILL: Well, heck, these are some expert
knots, Miss Sarah. That goon Rufus
sure knows what he’s doin’.
JOE: What are we supposed to do?
BILL: We could try to call out for Tex.
Maybe with all our voices together,
he’ll hear us.
SARAH: Can’t hurt, right?
BILL (To audience): Gonna need your
help, folks. All together. I’m gonna
count to three and on three, you yell,
“Help, Tex, Help!” Let’s do a practice.
Ready? One. Two. Three!
ALL: Help, Tex, help!
BILL: That was good one. Maybe a little
bit louder. Want to make sure he hears
us good and pure. Ready? One. Two.
Three. (Signals to audience)
ALL: Help, Tex, Help! (A long pause)
APRIL 2017
BILL: Well, shoot. I thought that’d work
for sure. Lemme see if they got somethin’ sharp in the station. (BILL exits.)
SARAH: This just might be the worst
day of my life.
JOE: You just might be right.
SARAH: I can’t believe he couldn’t hear
my voice.
JOE: He likes your singing. Maybe that’ll
hit his ears better. What do you say?
SARAH: Can’t hurt to try. (She sings.)
Oh where, oh where has my Sheriff
Tex gone?
Oh where, oh where can he be?
We’re tied to the tracks, and we need
an ax.
Oh where, oh where can he be?
SARAH and JOE (Together):
Oh where, oh where has my Sheriff
Tex gone?
Oh where, oh where can he be?
We’re tied to the tracks, and we need
an ax.
Oh where, oh where can he be? (BILL
reenters.)
JOE: Help us out, will ya?
SARAH, JOE, and BILL:
We’re tied to the tracks, and we need
an ax.
Oh where, oh where can he be?
BILL (Gesturing to audience): One more
time! (Everyone sings the song one last
time, then at the end, they look around
expectantly. Nothing. They slump down.
RUFUS and HANK enter, applauding.)
Booooo! (Encourages audience to join in)
ALL: Booooo!
HANK: What is this all about? We’re
applauding. I was trying to pay you a
25
compliment on your singing!
ALL: Booooo!
RUFUS: That’s not very nice at all. Train
robbers have feelings too, you know.
HANK (To SARAH): I must admit, my
dove, your singing was the best by far.
What do you think about joining our
little trek out west? I’ll have enough
money to keep you in jewels and fancy
dresses forever!
SARAH: You’ll never be half the man
that Sheriff Tex is.
RUFUS: Yeah, but what good is a
Sheriff if he doesn’t catch the bad guys.
JOE: He’s got a point.
SARAH: Not you too, Joe! Y’all just wait
and see. He’ll be here to save the day
and sweep me off into the sunset.
RUFUS: Ain’t gonna be no sunset if it’s
pourin’ rain. (Laughs at his own joke)
HANK: I hate to rain on your parade.
(They laugh harder.)
RUFUS: Doc Peterson said it could rain
for two weeks straight. . .but I drought
it! (They fall to the ground laughing.
Slowly, they recover.)
HANK: What about you, deputy? You
tried your hand at the good side of the
law. We could use a man like you to
round out our posse. What do you say?
JOE: Not for a thousand dollars.
HANK: How about a million?
JOE: No deal.
RUFUS: How about. . .um, what comes
after a million?
26
HANK: Don’t worry about it, Rufus. His
choice is made. We’ll find other posse
members along the way. Rougher!
RUFUS: Rougher!
HANK: Tougher!
RUFUS: Tougher!
HANK: Though none nearly as goodlooking as Handsome Hank.
RUFUS: ’Course not.
BILL (Looking off): What’s that in the
distance? That a fast movin’ thunderstorm or. . . no. That sure as heck looks
like smoke from a train. (BILL looks at
his watch.) Right on time. (They all
look off.)
HANK: It’s stopping! It’s stopping! Our
plan is going perfectly! Farewell, old
life! Hello, new world!
RUFUS: Hello, new world!
BILL: The door’s opening!
HANK: Hello, Mummy!
***
SCENE 3
AT RISE: BIG BILL is on bench. All
others are frozen in the positions
they had at the end of Scene 2.
BILL: Shame Sheriff Tex couldn’t get
here in time to save the day. I’m sure
he’ll be chasin’ Rufus and Handsome
Hank off into the sunset until justice is
served. Well, I got a few minutes. Let’s
see where this keeps going. Maybe the
storm will roll in. Or maybe the gold
got left accidentally at the depot.
Here’s hopin’. (BILL snaps his fingers
and the scene resumes.)
HANK: That stranger in the fog!
Mummy! (HANK turns to audience,
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distracted.) I’d invite y’all to come
along, but there ain’t enough space.
(He points out various audience members.) I hear that fella would take all
my gold and spend it on sarsaparilla.
And that lovely lady over there, she’d
wanna drive and go way too fast!
(SHERIFF TEX enters and waits for
HANK to finish.)
BILL: Hank, you might wanna turn
around.
HANK: I’ll turn around when I’m good
and ready. (TEX stands next to him
and waits patiently, waves at audience.) You’ll all be welcome in my new
town. I’m gonna call it “Hanksville.”
Catchy title, right? (TEX shrugs. He
goes back to the others and cuts their
ties. RUFUS frantically tries to get
HANK’s attention.) Not now, Rufus. I’m
monologuing. (RUFUS quits and sits,
pouting. TEX, JOE, and SARAH stand
behind HANK.) Now, I bid you a warm
and hearty goodbye. Mummy? (He
turns around and falls back in shock.)
Sheriff Tex!
BILL: Yay! (He encourages audience.)
ALL: Yay!
SHERIFF TEX: Your dear old mama’s in
the clink, Hank. She’s got a little habit
of sharing her plans loudly at the
saloon when she thinks nobody’s listening. Well, I was.
HANK: The. . .gold?
TEX: In the bank where it belongs.
HANK: My wealth, power, respect, my
fortune. . .Hanksville.
TEX: Don’t think you buy those things,
Tex. You gotta earn ’em. Take ’em
away, Joe.
APRIL 2017
JOE: My pleasure.
HANK (As he exits): But. . . but
Hanksvillleeeeee! (JOE leads HANK
and RUFUS off.)
ALL: Yay! (SARAH crosses to TEX.)
SARAH: Saved the day again, huh?
TEX: Just doing my duty, pretty lady.
SARAH: Anything you can do about this
rain?
TEX: I think we could wander over to
the store and get a bite to eat. Then
maybe you’ll sing me a song at the
saloon?
SARAH: Least I could do. (SARAH and
TEX exit. BILL speaks to the audience.)
BILL: Well, how about that. I don’t
know about you, but I think Sheriff Tex
mighta had that plan in mind all along.
Once again, good has prevailed. Goes
to show that the villain always gets
what he deserves in the end, right?
Y’all will have to excuse me. My train’s
comin’ round the bend. Santa Fe’s
gonna be good. Hope they have someone like Sheriff Tex to keep things in
line. One of my favorite things in the
world is hearing that train horn. It
means adventure. (BILL listens.) Well,
that one must broken. Dang. Can y’all
give me a big train horn before I go?
Ready? Toot toot!
ALL: Toot toot!
BILL: That’s better. Bon voyage! (BILL
exits.)
(Production Notes on page 48)
THE END
27
Cinder-Rabbit is protected by U.S. copyright
law. It is unlawful to use this play in any way
unless you are a current subscriber to PLAYS
Magazine (www.playsmagazine.com).
Middle Grades
Cinder-Rabbit
Clever version of the fairy tale, complete with a Fairy
Henmother and matching broken egg shells. . .
by Constance Whitman Baher
Characters
CINDER-RABBIT
CARONIA
LETITIA
her stepsisters
MRS. RABBIT, her stepmother
MAGGIE, Cinder-Rabbit’ s Fairy
“Henmother”
PRINCE COTTONTAIL
JACK
SPEEDY
his advisors
FOUR WHITE MICE
SCENE 1
TIME: The day before Easter.
SETTING: Cinder-Rabbit’s home: fire-
place up right, two large kettles downstage, table and chairs center. Two baskets, ribbons are on table. Vegetable bin
is upstage.
AT RISE: CINDER-RABBIT is sweeping
hearth.
28
CINDER-RABBIT (As she finishes):
There! (Puts down broom) At least my
stepmother won’t be able to scold me
about the ashes again today. (Looking
at kettles) Oh! The Easter eggs! I hope I
haven’t left them in the dye too long.
Letitia and Caronia will beat me if I
have. (Quickly takes eggs from kettles,
holds them in her apron) Thank goodness! They’re perfect! (Carries eggs to
table) Now, I’ll put them in these baskets (Arranging eggs in baskets), and
I’ll add a pretty ribbon to each one. (She
ties yellow ribbon on one basket, purple
ribbon on other.) One of these is bound
to win Prince Cottontail’s Easter egg
contest at the ball tonight. And maybe
the Prince will choose either Letitia or
Caronia to lead the Royal Easter festivities with him tomorrow. How exciting!
MRS. RABBIT (Calling off left): CinderRabbit!
CARONIA (Calling off right): Where are
you, Cinder-Rabbit?
LETITIA (Calling off left): Cinder-Rabbit!
(MRS. RABBIT, CARONIA, and LETITIA enter wearing ball gowns. CARONIA carries comb, hairbrush, and yellow bow; LETITIA carries purple bow.)
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MRS. RABBIT: Cinder-Rabbit, whatever
have you been doing? The girls need
you to help them dress, or we’ll all be
late for the ball.
CARONIA: Cinder-Rabbit, my whiskers
need combing, and I think my fur is a
little mussed. (Hands CINDER-RABBIT comb and brush)
LETITIA: You’re such a fuss-budget,
Caronia. Besides, if you weren’t always in
such a hurry, you wouldn’t get your
whiskers so twisted. Cinder-Rabbit, leave
her fur alone and come help me lace my
dress. (CINDER-RABBIT does so.)
MRS. RABBIT: Cinder-Rabbit, if you
weren’t my stepdaughter, I’d throw you
right out of this rabbit hole. You are so
lazy. Look at this place! How long has it
been since you washed the floor?
CARONIA: No, why?
LETITIA: Because you’re so nosy!
MRS. RABBIT: Girls, stop it! Cinder-
Rabbit, where are the girls’ Easter baskets?
CINDER-RABBIT (Bringing them): Here
they are, Stepmother.
MRS. RABBIT: Humph! (Inspecting baskets) Well, they’ll do. (Aside to girls;
sweetly) Nothing but the best for my
favorite daughters. (CARONIA and
LETITIA titter.)
LETITIA: They are pretty.
MRS. RABBIT: Pretty? Well, yes, I suppose so. Too pretty to give away to
nasty children tomorrow.
CINDER-RABBIT: I washed it yesterday,
CINDER-RABBIT: But tomorrow is
CARONIA (Holding out bow); CinderRabbit, put this bow in my fur.
MRS. RABBIT: Well, I’ve never thought
Stepmother.
MRS. RABBIT (As CINDER-RABBIT
helps CARONIA): You washed the floor
yesterday—humph! I suppose it never
occurred to you that the woodwork
needs a good scrubbing.
CINDER-RABBIT: I did that last night.
Easter. All rabbits give their eggs away
to the children on Easter.
it was a good idea, spending all that
time to make good Easter eggs, only to
give them away.
CINDER-RABBIT (To herself): I wish I
had some to give away.
be a copycat, Letitia. (As CINDERRABBIT fixes bow) Why don’t you wear
the bow on your big feet, Letitia?
MRS. RABBIT: You want Easter eggs?
Fancy that! Cinder-Rabbit having her
own Easter eggs—hah! Girls, you must
tell that to Prince Cottontail when you
dance with him. I’m sure he’ll think it’s
very funny. (Giving girls one last
inspection) Well, I think you’re finally
ready. (Shooing them off) Hurry along,
now. I’ll be right there. (Girls exit.
MRS. RABBIT goes to fireplace and
kicks at ashes.) Look, Cinder-Rabbit,
there are ashes on the hearth again.
nose twitches so much?
just kicked them there!
LETITIA: Mother, Cinder-Rabbit can
wash and scrub while we’re at the ball.
I need her to help me dress. (Holding
out bow) Here, Cinder-Rabbit, I want a
bow in my fur just like Caronia’s.
CARONIA: If you weren’t a rabbit, you’d
LETITIA: Caronia, do you know why your
APRIL 2017
CINDER-RABBIT: But, Stepmother, you
29
MRS. RABBIT: I did nothing of the sort.
Now, see that there’s not a speck of
dust in this entire house by the time we
return, or I promise you, this time I
shall throw you out, once and for all!
(She turns abruptly and exits. CINDER-RABBIT slowly starts to sweep
ashes into fireplace, then stops and
leans on broom.)
MAGGIE: Well, cheer up! That’s all
changed. Say, do you know what one
rabbit said to the other?
at the gates of Prince Cottontail’s castle. (Dreamily) I can almost hear the
orchestra. . .(Quiet strains of waltz
music are heard. CINDER-RABBIT
begins to dance about, holding broom.)
They say Prince Cottontail is the handsomest prince in all the world. (She
waltzes toward table, bumps into it.)
Oh! (Dejectedly) That’s what I get for
daydreaming. I’ll never get to meet
Prince Cottontail. (Sits, resting head on
her hand)
CINDER-RABBIT
CINDER-RABBIT: By now they must be
MAGGIE (Entering): What’s this? Why
all those gloomy thoughts? Why won’t
you get to meet the Prince? Why have
you no basket to enter in the contest?
CINDER-RABBIT (Frightened): Who are
you, and how in the world did you know
what I was thinking?
MAGGIE (Whirling about, waving her
wand): I know a good deal more than
people give me credit for. I am your
Fairy “Henmother,” and. . .
Fairy Henmother?
CINDER-RABBIT
(Interrupting):
My
MAGGIE: But you can call me Maggie.
Just follow my advice, Cinder-Rabbit,
and with a little touch of magic, all will
be well.
CINDER-RABBIT: Oh, goodness. I never
knew anyone who gave a thought to a
poor rabbit like me.
30
CINDER-RABBIT: No, I don’t.
MAGGIE: She said, “I’m so scared, my
hare is standing on end.” Ha! Get it?
Hare—rabbit.
(Giggling): You’re
funny. You’ve already cheered me up!
MAGGIE: Well, I’m going to do more
than that, my girl. Now, look—you
want to go to the ball and dance with
Prince Cottontail, don’t you?
CINDER-RABBIT: Oh, yes!
MAGGIE: And you’d like to win the
Easter basket contest and help Prince
Cottontail lead the Easter festivities
tomorrow.
CINDER-RABBIT: Oh, Maggie, that
would all be wonderful, (Sadly) but I
can never do any of those things.
MAGGIE (Shaking finger): Uh, uh, uh!
You’re forgetting something!
CINDER-RABBIT: What?
MAGGIE: I’m your Fairy Henmother!
You’ve heard of wishbones, right?
CINDER-RABBIT: Yes.
MAGGIE (Flapping her wings): Well,
you’re in luck, because this chicken has
more than her share of wishbones!
(Businesslike) Now, let’s get to work.
First of all you need something to wear.
(Pointing to vegetable bin) What’s that?
CINDER-RABBIT: Just our vegetable bin.
It’s full of lettuce and carrots.
MAGGIE: Perfect! (Takes large head of
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lettuce and two carrots from bin, sets
them on table) This will be just dandy.
I’ll add a pinch or two of fairy dust for
good measure. (Sprinkles glitter over
lettuce and carrots) Now, CinderRabbit, you take these (Hands vegetables to her) to your room. I want you to
stand right in the middle of your room,
cross your arms like this, bend down,
and touch your toes. (Demonstrates)
They say rabbits’ feet are lucky, and I
don’t want to overlook a single possibility in a case like this. So be sure you
touch both feet. Now, don’t worry. I’ll
just say a few magic words out here and
you won’t feel a thing. (Bewildered,
CINDER RABBIT exits left. MAGGIE
faces left and recites.)
Head of lettuce, carrot stick,
Quickly do this magic trick:
Make a dress of dazzling hues
And two dainty dancing shoes.
Cinder-Rabbit, cross your arms. Touch
both feet and hear my charms:
No sweeping, scrubbing floors or wall.
Tonight, you’re going to the ball!
(MAGGIE claps her hands.) There, that
should do it. (Turns) Now, while my little enchantment does its work, I’d better figure out some way to get her to the
Prince’s castle. Let’s see. (She paces.)
Wilhelmina the White Rabbit is sailing
in on a boat made of watermelon, with
six beavers pulling the oars. . . .Several
guests are jetting in on the Dragonfly
Shuttle. . . .At least one mole is running
a subway direct to the palace. . .and the
ants are running buses all night long.
That will never do for Cinder-Rabbit.
She must arrive in style. Something
elegant, unusual. (Suddenly) I have it!
I’ll take that broken-down old coach
outside and turn it into a pumpkin!
(Rubbing hands with glee)
Oh, this is spectacular! I’ll make wheels
out of four radishes, and have four
white mice pull it. (She stands in front
window and chants.)
Carriage, carriage, hear my spell.
Turn into a pumpkin shell!
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(After a pause) Oh, it’s marvelous!
(FOUR WHITE MICE wheel in pumpkin, made of large drum covered with
orange paper) Cinder-Rabbit! Are you
ready? (CINDER-RABBIT enters,
wearing long green cape hiding her rags
costume, and carrying orange slippers.)
CINDER-RABBIT: Yes, I am. (Whirling
about) Oh, Maggie, my gown is beautiful. And my slippers—and the coach—
and everything!
MAGGIE (Pacing): I just know I’ve for-
gotten something. . . .Of course! You
don’t have an Easter basket.
CINDER-RABBIT: You’re right. And there
are no Easter eggs left. I used all the
ones we had here for Letitia and
Caronia’s baskets.
MAGGIE: Now, don’t lose heart. Cross
your arms and hop around. (CINDERRABBIT does so. MAGGIE faces
upstage and chants.)
Presto, change-o, tisket, tasket,
Eggs, now make an Easter basket!
(She claps her hands.) Look behind the
vegetable bin. (CINDER-RABBIT goes
to bin, returns with golden Easter basket filled with large eggs covered with
colored glitter.)
CINDER-RABBIT (Holding up one of the
eggs): Oh, Maggie, they’re beautiful!
How can I ever thank you?
MAGGIE: Hush, child, you just concen-
trate on getting to the ball. Just one
thing—you’d better not stay there after
midnight.
CINDER-RABBIT: Why? What will hap-
pen?
MAGGIE: Disaster, that’s what. At
twelve o’clock all my magic will disappear. Your pumpkin coach will turn
into a broken-down old carriage, and
31
your beautiful dress will turn back into
rags. Dance all you like, but before the
clock strikes twelve, you must leave the
ball. (Claps her hands) Now, be off, and
have a wonderful time! (As CINDERRABBIT exits, waltz music is heard,
rising to a crescendo. Curtain)
***
LETITIA: It had nothing to do with my
feet. It was that girl in the green dress.
CARONIA (Dejectedly): I know. The
minute she came in, he gazed only at
her, and I don’t think he asked any
other bunny there to dance.
SCENE 2
TIME: The next morning.
MRS. RABBIT: It’s probably CinderRabbit’s fault for doing a sloppy job on
the Easter baskets.
AT RISE: LETITIA and CARONIA sit at
those baskets.
SETTING: Same.
table. CINDER-RABBIT, in her ragged
clothes, is making breakfast.
LETITIA: What an outrage! If I hadn’t
been there, I never would have believed
it.
CARONIA: It was disgraceful.
MRS. RABBIT (Entering and sitting at
table): The whole thing was an utter
catastrophe.
LETITIA: I’m not even sure we’ll have
Easter this year.
MRS. RABBIT (To CINDER-RABBIT):
Cinder-Rabbit, hurry up with our
breakfast! We’re hungry. You’d think
you had been out dancing all night. (To
girls) She’s probably the only one of us
who’s had a decent night’s sleep. (As
CINDER-RABBIT serves breakfast) I
suppose we might as well tell you,
Cinder-Rabbit— the girls were the hit
of the ball!
LETITIA: Caronia wasn’t. She was batting her eyelashes faster than a hummingbird’s wings, but she didn’t get one
dance with the Prince.
CARONIA: Well, you didn’t either. He
probably knew you’d trip over your big
feet the minute he started the bunny
hop.
32
CINDER-RABBIT: I worked very hard on
MRS. RABBIT: Well, neither of the girls
won the prize. In fact, no one did.
CARONIA: That’s just the trouble. And
now there’s no one to help Prince
Cottontail hide the first Easter eggs for
the children today.
CINDER-RABBIT: You mean there was
no winner at all?
LETITIA: There would have been, but
she ran away when the clock struck
twelve. So now there’s no one to begin
the Easter festivities. (Knock on door)
MRS. RABBIT: Cinder-Rabbit, whoever
it is, tell them we’re not at home.
CINDER-RABBIT (Opening door): Oh,
Your Highness! (She curtsies as
PRINCE COTTONTAIL enters, followed by SPEEDY, who carries slate
and chalk. JACK, carrying small chest,
hops in after them.)
MRS. RABBIT (To girls): Your Highness?
Did she say, Your Highness? (She
turns, sees PRINCE, pokes LETITIA
and CARONIA, and curtsies.) Your
Highness.
LETITIA and CARONIA (Turning and
curtsying): Your Highness!
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PRINCE: Please rise, good subjects. I am
sorry to intrude upon you at such an
early hour but, as you may know, the
situation is desperate.
MRS. RABBIT: We know, Your Highness.
My two lovely daughters here were at
the ball last night.
SPEEDY (Writing rapidly on slate): Did
you say two girls? Two times two is
four, two times four is eight, two times
eight is—is—
JACK: Don’t mind him. Someone once
told him that rabbits multiply quickly
and he’s been like that ever since.
MRS. RABBIT (Distracted): Yes, well, as
I was saying (Pointing), Letitia and
Caronia were there, but that one, my
stepdaughter, was home, of course,
cleaning and scrubbing.
PRINCE (Looking carefully CINDERRABBIT): Of course.
JACK: You see, the Prince has no one to
help him start the Easter festivities.
That is, he has—er—lost track of the
fair maiden he would have chosen. She
got the jump on him, you might say.
PRINCE (Taking chest from JACK): We
do have one clue to this mysterious
maiden. As the clock struck twelve and
she ran from the castle, she dropped
one of the beautiful eggs from her
Easter basket. She picked up one of the
broken halves, but in her haste, left the
other half lying on the ground. (Opens
chest and takes out broken half of a
large glittering Easter egg) Whoever in
my kingdom possesses the matching
half of this broken Easter egg must be
the lovely bunny I seek.
MRS. RABBIT: You are indeed lucky that
you have come to our poor home, Your
Highness, for I am sure that egg came
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from the basket of one of my girls here.
Come, girls, fetch your Easter baskets.
LETITIA (Aside): But, Mother, none of
our eggs are broken.
MRS. RABBIT (Aside): Well, then, break
some! Now, hurry! (Girls run off.) The
girls will be back in two shakes, Your
Highness.
SPEEDY (Scribbling rapidly): Two
shakes. . .two times two would be four,
two times four would be eight, two
times eight would be—would be—
CARONIA (Reentering with LETITIA):
Here are our baskets, Your Highness.
(Curtsies, holds out broken half of an
egg) I believe this is the missing half
you are looking for. (PRINCE takes egg
and examines it.)
LETITIA (In stage whisper): Yours is
much too small, Caronia.
CARONIA (Angrily): Oh, shush!
PRINCE (Comparing two halves): Your
egg does not seem to be as sparkling as
the one I have.
MRS. RABBIT: Some of the sparkle must
have rubbed off on the way home, Your
Highness. You know how that can happen.
PRINCE (Trying to fit two halves together): No, I’m afraid this is not the one.
It’s too small to match my half. (Hands
egg back to CARONIA)
LETITIA (Holding out broken egg): Here,
Your Highness. This must be the one.
CARONIA (To LETITIA): It’s too big,
like your feet!
PRINCE (Examining egg and trying to
make it fit with the other half): No, I’m
33
afraid this egg isn’t the right one either.
It is too big. (Sadly, he hands egg back
to LETITIA. Meanwhile, CINDERRABBIT, unnoticed by others, reaches
behind vegetable bin for her Easter basket and begins to examine its contents.)
This is the last hutch in the kingdom—
I thought for sure we’d find the maiden
here. (To others) I’m afraid we must be
going now. (As PRINCE, JACK, and
SPEEDY start for door, PRINCE sees
CINDER-RABBIT. He walks toward
her as if in a trance.) This young maiden has a basket, too. (CINDER-RABBIT hides basket behind her back.)
MAGGIE: Of course she’s the one! And
though there’s a lot to be said for the
casual look (Hands cape and slippers to
CINDER-RABBIT, who puts them on),
this is really more her style.
CINDER-RABBIT (Introducing MAG-
GIE): I’d like everyone to meet Maggie,
my Fairy Henmother. (To PRINCE) If
it weren’t for Maggie, I would never
have met you.
PRINCE: Then she will join us in the
JACK: Is it full of Easter eggs?
Easter festivities! (Taking CINDERRABBIT’s hand) Cinder-Rabbit, it shall
be your official duty to hide the first of
these beautiful eggs.
MRS. RABBIT: Cinder-Rabbit, don’t
you have made my dearest wish come
true!
SPEEDY: Are any of them broken?
bother the prince! Go to your room!
PRINCE (To MRS. RABBIT): I command
that she stay right here! (To CINDERRABBIT; kindly) Please let me see the
basket—just for a moment. You are my
only hope.
CINDER-RABBIT (Offering basket to
him): It is my Easter gift to you, Prince
Cottontail. (He takes broken half of glittering egg from basket and holds it
against his half.)
JACK (Looking on, amazed): A perfect
match!
SPEEDY: Then (Points to CINDER-RABBIT) she must be the one!
MRS. RABBIT, LETITIA, and CARONIA
(Ad lib): Cinder-Rabbit! It can’t be!
Impossible! (Etc.)
PRINCE (Staring at CINDER-RABBIT;
in wonder): Cinder-Rabbit? You are the
one, then! (MAGGIE enters, carrying
cape and slippers.)
34
CINDER-RABBIT: Oh, Prince Cottontail,
PRINCE (To others): We must hurry, if
we are to begin the festivities on time.
CINDER-RABBIT (To PRINCE): Perhaps
my family could join us in the procession?
PRINCE: Whatever you wish, my dear.
MRS. RABBIT, LETITIA, and CARONIA
(Ad lib): Oh, Cinder-Rabbit, you’re too
kind! We’d love to! (Etc.)
PRINCE (Offering his arm to CINDERRABBIT): Shall we? (Takes basket of
glittering eggs)
CINDER-RABBIT (Happily): Prince Cottontail, this will be the best Easter ever!
(Processional song is heard. PRINCE
and CINDER-RABBIT start off in stately fashion, followed by JACK and LETITIA arm in arm, then SPEEDY and
CARONIA, then MRS. RABBIT and
MAGGIE, as curtain falls.)
(Production Notes on page 48)
THE END
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Daring Dicey Langston, Patriot Spy is protected by U.S. copyright law. It is unlawful
to use this play in any way unless you are
a current subscriber to PLAYS Magazine
(www.playsmagazine.com).
Middle Grades
Daring Dicey Langston, Patriot Spy
Fifteen-year-old farm girl helps the Colonial army
fight the British during the Revolutionary War. . . .
Characters
by Tara Wise Montgomery
NARRATOR
DICEY LANGSTON, teenage patriot
SOLOMON LANGSTON, her father
MAJOR “BLOODY BILL”
CUNNINGHAM, Tory outlaw
CAPTAIN GRAY, British soldier
THOMAS SPRINGFIELD
JOHN HANOVER, Rebel officer
SCENE 1
NARRATOR: During the American
Revolution, the portion of South
Carolina near the frontier was the
home of many Tories, who supported
the English king, and of Whigs or
Patriots, who bitterly opposed him. The
hostility between the two groups was
great, and many conflicts occurred,
resulting in bloodshed and death. The
Continental army in that area consisted of a small group of untrained farmers, who had to hide in the surrounding
forests from the larger, formidable
APRIL 2017
British army and the Loyalist bands
who supported them. They depended
on smuggled information from local
citizens to keep them a step ahead of
their enemy. One of these spies was an
unlikely source: a fifteen-year-old girl
named Dicey Langston, whom the
Patriots called “Daring Dicey.”
***
SETTING: Langston home. Sofa is center. A door is right. Kitchen table,
bowls, etc. at left.
AT RISE: SOLOMON LANGSTON is
seated on sofa. A cane is beside him. A
loud knock sounds on the door.
SOLOMON (Calling): Dicey! Someone’s
at the door! (Calling more loudly)
Dicey! What in tarnation is that girl up
to now? (Knock sounds loudly again.
SOLOMON grabs his cane and rises
with difficulty.) I’m coming! I’m coming! Just a second. (He limps to the
door with his cane and opens it to
MAJOR CUNNINGHAM. He looks on
with distaste.) Ah! Major Cunningham!
I wish that I could say that it was a
pleasure to see you.
CUNNINGHAM (Curtly): Langston.
35
SOLOMON: You are not welcome on my
property. You and your Tory henchmen
have caused enough trouble in the
county.
CUNNINGHAM: You are alive only by
my courtesy, Langston, and that may
not be for long if you continue to alert
the enemy about our movements.
SOLOMON: Major, look at me—a sick,
old man. How could I—what did you
say—alert the enemy? I am confined to
my home.
CUNNINGHAM: You needn’t feign innocence with me. The entire county
knows about your sympathies with the
colonists. Yesterday my men raided a
Little Eden settlement well known to
harbor a small band of the Continental
army—including your sons—and they
were gone. Someone had warned them
of our approach. You rebels have been
a thorn in my side, and I won’t stand
for it any longer.
SOLOMON (Proudly): We prefer to call
ourselves patriots, not rebels.
CUNNINGHAM: Patriots! Bah! A ragtag collection of farmers! We know
that your sons and their little group of
renegades hide in the forests of
Laurens and visit your plantation in
secret. We also know that you have
generously financed their ventures.
But I’ll tell you this, Langston, you are
no match for the British army and
their Loyalist supporters. You are
wasting your time and your lives.
daughter Dicey.
SOLOMON (Laughing): Dicey! Dicey is
only fifteen years old, Major. Surely
you have been misinformed.
CUNNINGHAM: She may be fifteen, but
she has the cunning of a seasoned soldier. The rebels have been receiving
secret information about our movements that could only have come from
her. You have relatives in the county
on both sides of the war, and your
daughter is exceptionally adept at listening at keyholes. It is no secret that
your sons are serving in the
Continental army. I need little excuse
to take your life and your farm.
SOLOMON: I make no defense for my
beliefs, Major. At one time you shared
them yourself. Now you are the leader
of the Bloody Scouts, terrorizing the
countryside and attacking those whom
you used to call friends.
CUNNINGHAM: The Continental army
did not appreciate my services. The
British were happy to recognize my
abilities.
SOLOMON: Your abilities consist of
threatening your neighbors and killing
them.
CUNNINGHAM: That was their price for
not heeding my warnings. I have come
to warn you as well—if you do not take
control of your daughter, then you will
be held accountable. This is not an idle
threat, Langston.
SOLOMON: That is our choice to do so;
however, you have made a wasted
visit. I am not passing on information
to the rebels, as you call them. I am
unable to leave my home.
SOLOMON: It will not be taken as one,
but what a sad state of affairs that the
British army must resort to harassing
disabled farmers and their innocent
young daughters.
you of spying. I am speaking of your
that I would use to describe Dicey
CUNNINGHAM: I am not here to accuse
36
CUNNINGHAM: Innocent is not a word
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Langston. Remember my warning,
Langston. Good day. (Exits)
SOLOMON (Calling out): Dicey! Dicey,
come here this instant! (DICEY enters
left.)
DICEY: Papa! What is it?
SOLOMON: Major Cunningham just
paid us a visit.
DICEY: Oh, that wretched man! What
did he want?
SOLOMON: It seems that someone has
been running about the countryside
alerting the Patriots about British
maneuvers.
DICEY (Innocently): Really?
SOLOMON: He knows it’s you, Dicey.
DICEY (Acting surprised): Me?
SOLOMON: You needn’t pretend with
me, daughter. You are an excellent
horsewoman. You are a better marksman than I ever was. You know the
forests like the palm of your hand. The
British are aware that you visit the
neighboring farms and town where the
Tories abound and listen to their plans.
DICEY (Smiling): That is only speculation, Papa.
SOLOMON: It is more than speculation.
I know my daughter! Just the other
morning, you came in soaking wet, and
you told me you had fallen into a
stream. I didn’t believe that for a
moment.
DICEY: Well, it was almost true. I was
in some water. . . .Papa, you need to sit
down. You shouldn’t be on your feet.
(Leads him to the sofa and helps him
sit)
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SOLOMON: Suppose you tell me the
real story.
DICEY (Sitting next to him): I was in the
Tyger River.
SOLOMON (Gasping): The Tyger! My
child! The Tyger is swollen with the
spring rains. You could have drowned.
DICEY: But I didn’t! You and James
taught me to be a good swimmer.
SOLOMON: The current must have
been terribly strong and the waters
almost over your head. Oh—if only
your mother were alive to take you in
hand. Your brothers and I were too
lenient with you. (With a sigh)
Whatever were you doing in the Tyger,
Dicey-girl?
DICEY: I was crossing it. Yes, you are
right—it was deep and the current
tried to drag me downstream, but you
taught me never to give up. I knew
that I had to warn James. When I was
in town the other day, I heard that the
British had learned of his encampment
and were going to attack it. I couldn’t
let my brother be killed.
SOLOMON: It wouldn’t do to have you
killed as well. James’ camp is twenty
miles away. Dicey, whatever were you
thinking?
DICEY: I was thinking of a way to serve
my country! The men are not the only
ones who can make a contribution.
SOLOMON: But what if you were discovered?
DICEY: I was on horseback most of the
way. I made sure no one saw me.
SOLOMON: You must have been terri-
fied!
37
DICEY: Oh, I was! You know I have
never liked the dark, and I was anxious
about discovery, but a stronger spirit
pushed me on. You always told me that
I must follow my heart. I believe that
the patriots’ cause is just.
SOLOMON (Smiling while shaking his
head): Oh, Dicey-girl! You were so
brave—but so foolhardy!
DICEY: It was good that I was there.
The men had just returned from an
expedition and were exhausted. I made
them some cornbread and helped them
with their escape.
SOLOMON: Cornbread! How in the
world did you make cornbread out in
the middle of the forest?
DICEY: We took some boards from the
roof of a house and kindled a fire. The
hoecakes were only half-cooked, but
the men didn’t seem to mind!
SOLOMON: You must have been gone
all night—yet you made me breakfast
the next morning. (Shakes head again)
You’re a wonder, Dicey-girl.
DICEY (Smiling): I couldn’t let you go
hungry, Papa.
SOLOMON: I understand your wanting
to help your brother, Dicey, but you
must stop this espionage. Major
Cunningham has threatened our farm
and our lives if you are caught doing it
again. Promise me that you will stop.
DICEY (Sighing): I will try, Papa.
SOLOMON: You are a brave, headstrong girl, and I am proud of you, but
this is not a game.
DICEY: I understand, Papa. (Curtain)
***
38
SCENE 2
TIME: Several weeks later.
SETTING: The same.
AT RISE: SOLOMON is sitting on the
sofa. DICEY is sitting beside him knitting.
SOLOMON: Dicey, have you been heeding my warning not to spy on our
neighbors?
DICEY (Smiling slyly): It’s best that you
don’t know, Papa.
SOLOMON: You must understand the
danger, child! Major Cunningham is
not a man to be trifled with.
DICEY: When Mama died, you and my
brothers had to raise me. You taught
me to be strong and if I believed in a
cause to follow it. I am careful, Papa.
(A loud knock at the door.)
SOLOMON (Sighing): Now, who could
that be? (DICEY rises and walks to the
door, opening it to MAJOR CUNNINGHAM and CAPTAIN GRAY. CUNNINGHAM is holding a pistol.
SOLOMON rises slowly, leaning on his
cane.)
DICEY (Looking at him with distaste):
Ah, Major Cunningham! Captain
Gray!
CUNNINGHAM (Shoving DICEY aside
and
approaching
SOLOMON):
Langston, you have ignored our warnings. I had warned you that further
espionage could result in the loss of
your life and property. Captain Gray,
take whatever you want here.
GRAY: Yes, sir! (Begins collecting items
around the home, including a pewter
bowl) Ah, this pewter bowl will make
fine bullets to kill the rebels! What
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irony—killing them with their own
possessions! (Laughs)
DICEY: Pewter bullets, sir, will not kill
a Whig.
GRAY (Pausing): Why not?
DICEY (Sarcastically): It is said that a
witch can be shot only with a silver
bullet, and I am sure the Whigs are
even more under the protection of
Providence.
GRAY: You have a sharp tongue for a
young girl!
CUNNINGHAM: We’ll see how sharp her
tongue is when I kill her father. (Raises
his pistol) Langston, you have been
dutifully warned and have mocked my
counsel. The espionage has continued.
SOLOMON: I will not beg for mercy,
Major. Do what you will.
DICEY (Alarmed; stepping between her
father and CUNNINGHAM): I will
receive the first ball that you have
aimed at his heart.
SOLOMON: Dicey, get out of the way.
(Tries unsuccessfully to move her aside)
I am an old man and infirm. I am prepared to die if I must from this coward’s hand.
DICEY (Firmly): No, Papa! He must kill
us both.
CUNNINGHAM: Do not look for compas-
sion from me! Be prepared to die in
your tracks. Killing two rebels is twice
as good as killing one.
DICEY (Stubbornly): Shoot me if you
dare!
GRAY (Alarmed): Major Cunningham—
she’s only a girl!
APRIL 2017
CUNNINGHAM (Angrily): Then pull her
out of the way so that I can shoot her
father!
GRAY: You have to admire her bravery,
sir. Not many fifteen-year-olds would
volunteer to intercept a bullet.
CUNNINGHAM: Are you pleading her
case, Gray?
GRAY: Sir, it’s just that I have a fifteenyear-old daughter myself, and I can’t
imagine her being so brave. The
British army does not have to rely on
killing children to achieve victory.
CUNNINGHAM (Shaking his head, sighing loudly and lowering pistol): Indeed!
(Puts pistol away) I wish she were on
our side! You are a fortunate man,
Langston. I’d as soon put a bullet
through your heart if not for your
determined daughter; however, be
assured—you may have won the day,
but England shall win the war.
SOLOMON: We shall see, Cunningham.
We shall see.
CUNNINGHAM: Just to be clear, we are
watching your house. Your son James
will be shot on sight if he comes here.
(They exit.)
DICEY: What a horrible man!
SOLOMON: Dicey, what have I told you
about continuing your spying? You
almost cost us our lives.
DICEY: It is for a worthy cause, Papa.
Now, go rest. This has been a trying
day for you. I will fix some supper.
SOLOMON: You are a good girl, Dicey.
Your mother would be so proud of you.
(Exits. DICEY puts on apron and
begins bustling around kitchen, humming, until there’s a knock on the door.)
39
DICEY: Now who could that be? I hope
Major Cunningham isn’t making a
return visit. (She opens door to
THOMAS SPRINGFIELD and JOHN
HANOVER.)
SPRINGFIELD: Hello there. You must be
Dicey.
DICEY: I am, and who are you?
SPRINGFIELD: I am Thomas Springfield,
and this is John Hanover. We have
come for your brother’s rifle. He told us
he left it with you. He knows that the
house is being watched and he could
not come for it himself.
DICEY: Oh, yes! Let me get it. (Reaches
under sofa and picks it up) But I need
to ask you for the password James gave
me. For all I know, you could be a couple of Tories. It’s curious that you could
come up to our door so freely with the
British surrounding the farm.
SPRINGFIELD (Laughing): We met them
and traded a few jokes. They believe
we’re harmless farmers, but it’s a little
too late to be making conditions, isn’t
it?
HANOVER (Nodding): Indeed it is! You
are in our possession and the rifle as
well.
DICEY: Do you think so? (Aims the rifle
at them) If the gun is in your possession, let me see you take charge of it.
SPRINGFIELD (Chuckling): Yes, you are
definitely James’s sister and well worthy of the name Langston. He warned
us about you!
HANOVER: Yes, indeed. We’ve heard of
your exploits. You’ve become a legend
in South Carolina. People refer to you
as “Daring Dicey.” You and women like
you all over the colonies are making a
difference in the course of the war.
DICEY (Raising the rifle): I still need to
know the password! (Curtain)
***
NARRATOR: Dicey saw the war to its
end and was proud to know that she
had played a role in the colony’s victory. She married the patriot leader
Thomas Springfield, who had come to
the house for her brother’s rifle; together they had twenty-two children, and
lived to a ripe old age. Dicey saw many
of her children, grandchildren, and
great grandchildren grow up to serve
their country, and they were always
proud of the important role that she
had played in the American
Revolution.
THE END
Daring Dicey Langston, Patriot Spy
PRODUCTION NOTES
CHARACTERS: 5 male, 1 female, 1
male or female for Narrator.
PLAYING TIME: 20 minutes.
COSTUMES: Revolutionary War period
clothing. Solomon Langston uses
cane. Soldiers wear uniforms. Dicey
puts an apron on in Scene 2.
40
PROPERTIES: Knitting; pistol.
SETTING: Langston home. Sofa is cen-
ter; a rifle is hidden under it. A door is
right. Kitchen table, bowls, etc. at left.
LIGHTING: No special effects.
SOUND: Knocking on door.
PLAYS • playsmagazine.com
The Baker’s Neighbor is protected by
U.S. copyright law. It is unlawful to
use this play in any way unless you are
a current subscriber to PLAYS
Magazine (www.playsmagazine.com).
Middle & Lower Grades
The Baker’s Neighbor
Peruvian folktale in which a wise judge teaches a
greedy merchant a valuable lesson about being a
good neighbor. . . .
Adapted by Adele Thane
Characters
MANUEL GONZALES, a baker
PABLO PEREZ, his neighbor
CARLOS
RAMONA
INEZ
ISABEL
his sisters
JUDGE
THREE WOMEN
VILLAGERS
TIME: Early morning.
SETTING: A street in an old town in
Peru. At right is Manuel’s Bakery, an
outdoor counter with shelves for the
display of pastries, and a wooden table
and stool near counter. Across the
street, at left, is the patio of Pablo’s
house, with a bench and chairs on it.
At the rear of stage is a flowering tree
with a circular seat around the trunk.
APRIL 2017
AT RISE: MANUEL comes out of bak-
ery with a tray of pies, which he carries to counter. As he is putting the
pies on a shelf, PABLO steps out onto
his patio, sniffs the air and smiles
with delight.
PABLO: Good morning, Baker Manuel.
Your pies smell especially delicious
this morning. How many did you bake
last night?
MANUEL (Sullenly): What’s it to you?
You never buy any; you just smell
them. Every day you stand there and
fill your nostrils with the fragrance of
my pastries. It’s a miracle there’s any
flavor left in them when my customers
come to buy.
PABLO: But it makes me happy to
smell your pastries. You are the best
baker in Peru. Everyone says so.
MANUEL: Well, Pablo, why don’t you
buy a pie or a cake and take it home?
Then you could smell it all you want.
PABLO: Oh, but if I bought it and ate
it, I couldn’t smell it any more.
41
MANUEL (Snorting in disgust): Bah!
(When he finishes setting out pies, he
goes into bakery with empty tray.
PABLO crosses to counter and inhales
deeply, closing his eyes in delight.
MANUEL returns with tray of cakes
and cash box. He pushes PABLO away
from counter.) Hey! Take your big nose
away from there! I can’t sell those pies
if you sniff them all over! (PABLO
saunters back to his patio. MANUEL
places tray of cakes on counter, then
carries cash box to table and sits.)
PABLO: Are you going to count your
money now? (MANUEL ignores PABLO, empties coins from cash box onto
table. PABLO sits in a chair and watches MANUEL with an amused smile.)
How much did you take in yesterday?
CARLOS and GIRLS (Enthusiastically;
ad lib): Hello, Pablo! How are you?
Good to see you! (Etc.)
PABLO (Beaming at them as he gets
up): Hello, my young friends, hello!
You’re up bright and early.
ISABEL: We’re going to the bakery.
RAMONA: Carlos is going to treat us.
CARLOS: I helped Papa pick beans and
he gave me this. (Holds up silver coin)
PABLO: You’re a good boy, Carlos.
INEZ (Starting across to bakery): Come
on! Let’s see what there is. (Children
crowd around the counter.)
MANUEL: None of your business! (He
inspects each coin carefully, then
writes in small notebook, adds figures,
scowling and mumbling to himself.
CARLOS, RAMONA, INEZ, and
ISABEL enter left. They stop when
they see MANUEL and talk quietly
together.)
RAMONA: Look at those coconut pat-
money!
cake.
ties!
ISABEL: And the jelly roll! Yummy!
INEZ: Carlos, why don’t you buy a pie
and cut it into quarters? Then we’d
each have a piece.
RAMONA: Gracious, what a lot of
CARLOS: I don’t know. I’d sort of like a
CARLOS: Papa says the bakery has
MANUEL (Impatiently): Well, what do
made Manuel the richest man in
town.
INEZ: If he’s that rich, why doesn’t he
smile? He looks so cross and unfriendly.
CARLOS: That’s because he’s a miser.
A miser doesn’t like people—only
money. The more money he has, the
more he wants. And he keeps it all to
himself—he never shares it with anyone.
ISABEL (Catching sight of PABLO):
There’s Pablo!
42
you want? Hurry up and decide. This
isn’t a waiting room. I have to make a
living. What with rent and taxes, it’s
as much as I can do.
CARLOS: How much is that cake with
the pink frosting?
MANUEL: You can’t afford that. How
much money do you have? (CARLOS
shows him.) Not enough. That cake
costs three times what you can pay.
CARLOS: What can I buy with my
money? I want something for all of us.
PLAYS • playsmagazine.com
MANUEL: You can have four tapioca
tarts—and I’m giving them away at
that price. (Hands tarts to CARLOS)
Here you are. Now, take your tarts
over to Pablo and let him smell them.
(He puts CARLOS’s coin with others
on table, sits down and makes entry in
notebook. CARLOS passes out tarts to
his sisters as they cross to the patio.)
CARLOS (Offering tart to PABLO):
Have a bite?
PABLO: No, thank you, Carlos. You
earned it—you eat it.
ISABEL: Pablo, why did Manuel say we
should let you smell our tarts?
PABLO: Oh, he’s annoyed, because
every morning I stand here and enjoy
the smell of his pies and cakes fresh
from the oven. Ah, what fragrance! It’s
as if the baker has burst into bloom.
RAMONA: If you could be a beautiful
smell, Pablo, instead of a man—would
you like to be a beautiful bakery
smell?
PABLO (Laughing): Well, that’s a new
one on me! If I were a smell instead of
a man? Of all the comical ideas!
INEZ (Explaining): It’s a game we play.
We ask each other what thing we’d
like to be if we weren’t a person—what
color, what sight, what sound—
RAMONA: What sound would you like
to be, Pablo, if you weren’t a person?
PABLO: This minute?
RAMONA: Any minute.
PABLO: Let me think. (Suddenly he
slaps his knee) I have it! If I were a
sound instead of a man, I’d choose to
be a song! A happy little song in chil-
APRIL 2017
dren’s hearts. Or turning up in a boy’s
whistle—like this! (He whistles a
merry tune.)
ISABEL: What sound do you think
Manuel would like to be?
CARLOS: That’s easy. He’d be the
sound of gold pieces jingling in his
own pocket.
ISABEL: I’m going to ask him. (She
crosses to MANUEL.) Manuel, may I
ask you a question?
MANUEL (Scowling): What is it?
ISABEL: If you were a sound instead of
a baker, what sound in the whole wide
world would you choose to be?
MANUEL: Well, of all the idiotic non-
sense! Clear out of here and stop bothering me! I have better things to do
than to answer stupid questions.
(ISABEL returns to patio, and PABLO
goes center.)
PABLO: It has taken you a long time to
count your money, Manuel.
MANUEL (Sneering): It wouldn’t take
you long to count yours.
PABLO: That’s right. I don’t care much
for money.
MANUEL: You’re too lazy to earn it.
PABLO (Good-naturedly): Oh, I work
when I have to. But I’d rather sit in
the sun and take advantage of all the
small, everyday pleasures that life has
to offer.
MANUEL: Like smelling my pastries, I
suppose—without charge?
PABLO (Shrugging): The air is free.
43
MANUEL: It’s not as free as you think.
PABLO: What do you mean?
MANUEL: I’m going to make you pay
for all the pastry smells you’ve taken
from me all these years.
PABLO (Smiling in disbelief): You can’t
mean that!
MANUEL: But I do! You stand outside
my bakery every day and smell my
pies and cakes. To my mind, that is
the same as taking them without paying for them. You are no better than a
thief, Pablo Perez!
PABLO (Mildly): I never took anything
that didn’t belong to me, and you
know it. What’s more, I haven’t done
your business any harm. Why, I’ve
even helped it. People often stop when
they see me standing here and go in to
buy something. (Children giggle, then
begin to taunt MANUEL and run
around him, sniffing.)
table and exits left as THREE
WOMEN enter right. They come downstage and question the children.)
1ST WOMAN: What’s the matter with
Manuel?
2ND WOMAN: Will he be back soon? I
want to buy a cake.
3RD WOMAN: So do I. What hap-
pened?
1ST WOMAN: He looked so angry.
Where’s he gone?
GIRLS (Excitedly, ad lib): He’s gone to
get the Judge! He is angry! He is furious! (Etc.)
1ST WOMAN: The Judge! What for?
CARLOS: He says Pablo will have to
pay for smelling his cakes and pies.
2ND WOMAN (To PABLO): He wants
you to pay him for doing that?
ISABEL: I smell raisins!
3RD WOMAN: He can’t be serious!
INEZ: How much does it cost to smell
very funny. (He laughs, and WOMEN
join in.)
RAMONA: I smell spice!
the flour on your apron?
CARLOS: May I smell your cap for a
penny? (He snatches baker’s cap from
MANUEL’s head and sniffs it, laughing.)
MANUEL (Angrily, snatching it back):
You’ll laugh on the other side of your
face when I get the Judge!
PABLO: Oh, yes, he is! But I think it’s
1ST WOMAN: It’s ridiculous! Everyone
who goes by the shop smells his pastry.
2ND WOMAN: Is he going to take
everyone in town to court? (They are
all in gales of laughter when
MANUEL returns with JUDGE, followed by several VILLAGERS.)
PABLO: When you get who?
MANUEL (To JUDGE): There he is!
him the whole story. I’ll show you I’m
not joking. The Judge will make you
pay me. (He grabs his cash box from
not yet been proved that Pablo is a
thief. First he must have a fair trial.
(He sits down at table and motions for
MANUEL: The Judge. I’m going to tell
44
(Points to PABLO) There’s the thief!
JUDGE: Calm yourself, Manuel. It has
PLAYS • playsmagazine.com
two chairs to be placed facing him.
VILLAGERS and THREE WOMEN
gather under tree and on patio with
children. They whisper and talk
together as they seat themselves.)
1ST VILLAGER: In all my days, I’ve
never heard of a case like this before.
2ND VILLAGER: How can a man steal
the smell of anything?
3RD VILLAGER: I’m surprised the
Judge would even listen to the baker’s
story. Money for smelling his cakes!
How absurd!
MANUEL: Pleases me! Far from it!
Look here, your honor—every night I
mix the flour and knead the dough
and slave over a hot oven while that
shiftless, good-for-nothing Pablo
sleeps. Then he gets up in the morning, fresh as a daisy, and comes out
here to smell the fine sweet pastry I’ve
baked. He takes full value of this free,
daily luxury. He acts as if it’s his privilege. Now I ask you, Judge—is it
right that I should work so hard to
provide him with this luxury, without
charge? No! He should pay for it!
JUDGE: I see. You may sit down,
and pastry as he can bake. What more
does he want?
Manuel. Now, Pablo Perez, it is your
turn. (PABLO stands.) Is it true that
you stand in front of Manuel’s bakery
and smell his cakes and pies?
and he figures this is a way to get
more of it.
your honor. Their spicy fragrance fills
the air.
2ND WOMAN: He sells as much bread
3RD VILLAGER: Manuel loves money,
JUDGE (Rapping table with gavel):
Quiet, everyone! Court is in session. I
am ready to hear Manuel Gonzales,
baker, against Pablo Perez, neighbor.
Baker, I will hear your story first.
MANUEL (Rising): This man, Pablo
Perez, comes and stands outside my
bakery every day.
JUDGE: Does he block the way?
MANUEL: Not exactly.
JUDGE: Does he keep other people
from going into your bakery?
MANUEL: No, sir, but—
JUDGE: Then what does he do?
MANUEL: He stands there, looking at
my pies and cakes and smelling them.
JUDGE: That pleases you, doesn’t it?
APRIL 2017
PABLO: I can’t help smelling them,
JUDGE: Would you say you enjoy it?
PABLO: Oh, yes, sir. I am a man of sim-
ple pleasures. Just the smell of a bakery makes me happy.
JUDGE: But did you ever pay the baker
for this pleasure?
PABLO: Well, no, sir. It never occurred
to me that I had to pay him.
JUDGE: Pablo Perez, you will now put
ten gold pieces on this table—for
Manuel Gonzales! (VILLAGERS gasp.
MANUEL looks surprised and
delighted.)
PABLO (Stunned): Ten gold pieces! For
smelling the air near my own house?
JUDGE: Do you have that amount?
PABLO: I—I guess so, but it’s my life’s
savings.
45
JUDGE: Please get it and bring it here.
(Slowly PABLO crosses patio and exits
left. VILLAGERS talk to each other
disapprovingly.)
1ST VILLAGER: The Judge shouldn’t
make Pablo pay.
1ST WOMAN: Pablo is an honest man.
2ND VILLAGER: I don’t see how the
Judge could rule in the baker’s favor.
3RD VILLAGER: Why, he’s richer than
the Judge himself.
2ND WOMAN: And now he’s going to
get poor Pablo’s savings.
3RD WOMAN: It’s not fair!
JUDGE (Rapping with his gavel):
Silence in the court! (PABLO returns
sadly with purse, puts it on table
before JUDGE. MANUEL, elated,
rubs his hands together greedily.)
MANUEL (To JUDGE): I knew your
honor would do the right thing by me.
Thank you, Judge. (He picks up purse
and starts to put it into his cash box.)
JUDGE (Rising): Not so fast, Manuel!
Empty that purse on the table and
count the gold pieces, one by one.
MANUEL (Grinning): Ah, yes, your
honor. I must make sure I haven’t been
cheated. How kind of you to remind
me! (He empties purse and begins to
count. JUDGE watches MANUEL as
he lovingly fingers each coin.)
JUDGE: It gives you great pleasure to
touch that gold, doesn’t it, Manuel?
You enjoy it.
MANUEL: Oh, I do, I do! Eight, nine,
ten. It’s all here, your honor, and none
of it false.
46
JUDGE: Please put it back in the purse.
(MANUEL does so.) Now return it to
Pablo.
MANUEL (In disbelief): Return it!
But—but you just told Pablo to pay it
to me.
JUDGE: No, I did not tell him to pay it
to you. I told him to put it on this
table. Then I instructed you to count
the money, which you did. In doing so,
you enjoyed Pablo’s money the way he
has enjoyed your cakes and pies. In
other words, he has smelled your pastry and you have touched his gold.
Therefore, I hereby declare that the
case is now settled. (Raps twice with
his gavel. MANUEL shamefacedly
shoves purse across table to PABLO
and turns to exit. JUDGE stops him.)
Just a moment, Manuel! I hope this
has been a lesson to you. In the future,
think less about making money and
more about making friends. Good
friends and neighbors are better than
gold. And now, if you please—my fee!
MANUEL: Yes, your honor. (He opens
cash box but JUDGE closes the lid.)
JUDGE: Put away your money. There’s
been enough fuss over money already
today. The fee I am asking is this—
pies and cakes for everyone here—free
of charge! (MANUEL nods vigorously
in assent. VILLAGERS and children
cheer, then rush to pastry counter and
help themselves. MANUEL goes into
bakery and reappears with more pastry piled high on tray. PABLO and
JUDGE hold a whole pie between
them and start to eat from opposite
edges toward the center as curtain
closes.)
THE END
(Production Notes on next page)
PLAYS • playsmagazine.com
The Baker’s Neighbor
(Play on pages 41-46)
PRODUCTION NOTES
CHARACTERS: 3 male; 6 female; 1 male
or female for Judge, and male and
female extras for villagers.
PLAYING TIME: 15 minutes.
COSTUMES: Traditional Peruvian village folk costume. Manuel wears
apron and white hat, and Judge wears
long robe.
PROPERTIES: Tray of small pies, cash
box containing coins, notebook and
pencil, small cakes, tarts, cookies, etc.,
gavel, coin purse containing ten coins,
trays.
SETTING: A street in an old town in
Peru. At right is bakery, outdoor
counter with shelves in front of it.
Near baker are a table and stool. At
left is patio of Pablo’s house, with
chairs and a bench. At rear is a flowering tree with circular bench around
trunk.
LIGHTING: No special effects.
Edelweiss Pirates
(Play on pages 2-12)
CHARACTERS: 7 female, 3 male.
PLAYING TIME: 30 minutes.
COSTUMES: 1930’s everyday period
dress. The Pirates (Ilse, Monika, Poldi,
and Lenz) dress in bright colors, with
prints or other patterns. Pirate boys
often wore shorts with suspenders.
Konrad wears the uniform of a Hitler
Youth: long-sleeved brown shirt, black
necktie, and shorts with over-the-calf
stockings. Check the Internet for pictures of his uniform and the typical
dress of the Pirates.
SETTING: Ackermanns’ sitting room. A
table center is set with several chairs.
A counter left holds dishes, bowls, and
a cookie jar. A small fireplace is right
with a rocking chair up right nearby.
PROPERTIES: A can of paint with brush;
textbook; small covered pot; folded
piece of paper; skirt on a hanger; tray
with teapot and mugs; photos.
LIGHTING / SOUND: No special effects.
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APRIL 2017
47
Gold Heist
(Play on pages 23-27)
PRODUCTION NOTES
CHARACTERS: 4 male; 1 female; 1 male
or female for Narrator.
PLAYING TIME: 20 minutes.
COSTUMES: Western wear. Bill has
pocketwatch. When Sarah and Joe first
enter, their wrists are tied behind their
backs.
SETTING: Train station. There are a
couple of benches, and backdrop may
show schedules, etc. Tracks are laid
out across stage.
PROPERTIES: None required.
LIGHTING / SOUND: No special effects.
Cinder-Rabbit
(Play on pages 28-34)
CHARACTERS: 3 male; 5 female; 4 male
or female.
PLAYING TIME: 25 minutes.
COSTUMES: Cinder-Rabbit is barefoot,
in ragged costume with apron, then
changes to elaborately decorated green
cape and orange slippers. Mrs. Rabbit,
Letitia, and Caronia wear ball gowns.
Maggie wears chicken costume, has
glitter in her pocket, and carries wand.
Prince, Jack, and Speedy, rabbit costumes.
PROPERTIES: Broom, purple and yellow
ribbons, hairbrush, comb, broom, drum
draped with orange crepe paper for
pumpkin, slate, chalk, small chest with
broken Easter egg in it, golden Easter
48
basket with glittering eggs.
SETTING: Cinder-Rabbit’s home: fireplace up right, table and chairs center,
vegetable bin containing carrots and
lettuce upstage. In Scene 1, two large
kettles holding colored eggs are downstage; two Easter baskets, purple and
yellow ribbons are on table. In Scene 2,
the table is set for a meal. CinderRabbit’s basket is hidden behind bin in
both scenes. A window is in right wall;
right exit leads outside; left exit leads
to rest of rabbit hole,
LIGHTING: No special effects.
SOUND: Clock chiming twelve. Waltz
music and processional music.
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